Each October starts a new sled hockey season, my favorite time of year. You never know what to expect until that first meeting, when we find out which players have returned and the coaches announce our schedule. This year I was assigned to B Team again, and because the league we tried to put together last season crashed and burned, our coach had to find teams for us to play outside the two national tournaments.
To make a long story short, A Team had about the worst season possible. While they fielded two Paralympians, other teams in their tournaments had four or more. Midway through the season they combined forces with the St. Louis team, but even that didn’t help and they finished the entire year with just one victory.
Meanwhile, a few of our slower players didn’t return, and we picked up a rookie, a wheelchair basketball player to took to hockey like a fish to water. Most of us had also attended the optional twice weekly practices all summer. B Team was suddenly a faster and more experienced team.
California Dreaming
Our first tournament was the NHL Sled Classic, this time held in Anaheim, CA. We were placed in our usual bracket, Tier 5. It was evident at the first puck drop that we were playing on a different level. Four games later, we had smoked all our opponents and won the championship. It’s nice to win, but when it’s that lopsided, it’s not as much fun.
One thing about this trip was how horrible the tournament was run. The customary reception featured pizza from Costco, for example. But we did get to see a few cool sites in California, and we rode in a helium balloon that took us over the sports complex where we played.
Along for the Ride
Without an official league, we tagged along on A Team trips to St. Louis and Colorado, and hosted our own weekends in Chicago. We played B teams from St. Louis, Colorado, and Anaheim, which were mainly Tier 2 or Tier 3 teams. We didn’t win much, but we gained a lot of experience against those better teams.
One highlight of those trips was that Steve Cash, three time Paralympic gold medal goalie and hockey hall of famer, had decided to retire and skate as a forward with the St. Louis B team. We played against him in his first game, and he scored his first goal against us. It was surreal being on the ice and skating much faster than him. But he’s a very humble and nice person and he even hung out with us outside the rink a few times.
The St. Louis Blues
The second national tournament, the Disabled Hockey Festival, was held in St. Louis. We went in asking for Tier 4 due to our success earlier in the year, but they put us back in Tier 5. We did well the preliminary games, but in the second game on a Saturday, we lost our semifinal to the Pittsburgh Penguins.
This tournament was run even worse than the first one. We were supposed to have two refs per game, but for most games we only had one, and he missed several calls including a few goals. Our two teams played in three different rinks, and no two successive games were played at the same rink. So our coach was constantly driving a van with our gear from rink to rink. On our last day, we had two games at two rinks just hours apart. If we had made it to the finals, we would have played on Saturday afternoon, Saturday night, and then at 7am Sunday morning. This is technically against USA hockey tournament rules, but apparently the organizers didn’t care.
Into (Formerly) Tundra Country
In June, the Hendrickson Foundation Hockey Festival is held in Blaine, MN. This is outside our normal season, so a few teammates and I played a few times for the team from Alaska. All the while, we were working on sending a Blackhawks team. Finally this year we convinced our coach, and we sent a mixed A/B team of 7 skaters and our A Team goalie to Minnesota. For me, this was the best case scenario. I got to test myself playing at a higher level (these were Tier 2 teams), but without any Paralympians players around to dominate.
There was one slight issue. My youngest was graduating high school the day before the tournament started, so instead of driving with my teammates I flew in the morning of the first game. Fortunately it was smooth sailing and I made it with time to spare.
Glibertarians.com sent roving reporter Pope Jimbo to cover the action:
It was a sweltering weekend here in Sunny Minnesoda, but the heat index couldn’t hold a candle to the red hot Chicago Blackhawk sled hockey team that sauntered into town. The Blackhawks were led by a steely-eyed, hard checking defenseman we all know as The Other Kevin. TOK led his team to yet another championship at this year’s tournament.
Your humble reporter was unable to make the preliminary rounds where the sacrificial goats went down 3-1 and 6-1 (he learned about the scores from an anonymous tipster who sent a gloating text about the Blackhawk’s dominance).
The next day, the reporter managed to escape from his editor who wanted him to do more yardwork and caught the Blackhawks playing the Minnesoda Wild. In a blatant attempt to intimidate our favorite sons of Chicago, the Wild were being coached by 4 current and former NHL Wild players.The reporter only knew this because a couple of young girls in front of him were telling their mom who they were. The only two the reporter remembers were Spurgen and Foligno. They really squealed over Foligno. The reporter asked them about our man #2 on the Blackhawks, but such was their pro-Minnesoda bias that they refused to admit that TOK was clearly the better catch.
The intimidation didn’t work. TOK turned his steely gaze on his teammates and they responded by stiffening their spines and winning 2-1. The first goal was set up when TOK checked the Wild player with the puck that was leading the rush. TOK’s bone crunching hit jarred the puck loose and it went to a teammate who flipped it forward to another Blackhawk for a breakaway goal.
Clinging to a 1-0 goal, the Wild nearly had a break away goal themselves, but #2 on the Blackhawks determinedly skated the Wild player down and kept them from getting a clean shot. TOK also cleared the puck away from the goal after it rebounded in front of the goalie. The locals were all groaning that their best chance of the day had been thwarted.
The entire town was buzzing about the big Championship Game on Sunday. Your reporter – living up to the highest standards of journalism – can’t for the life of himself remember the name of the Blackhawk’s opponent so he will just make up a name here: Florida Blaze? (Editor’s Note: It was Space Coast Blast).
The game was truly an epic clash of titans. Both teams came out and gave (and got) the best of themselves. Each team had plenty of good shots on goal. Both goalies were on fire though and only one goal – until a late empty netter – was scored.
It was a physical game too. The Blackhawks showed their wokeness by ringing the bell of a girl on the Florida Blaze (no chivalry here!) in a nasty pileup in the corner. Our own TOK had to wobble his way back to the bench at one point after another big pileup.
In the end, though, Truth, Honor and The American Way triumphed and the Blackhawks took away the trophy (which was a big wooden belt) again this year. After the game the Blackhawks were still coming to grips with their win. Even having to talk to a local journalo couldn’t dampen their enthusiasm. They gushed about how good of a game the championship had been.
All in all, your intrepid reporter had a great time watching the sled hockey tournament this year. The level of competition was much better than it had been the year before. No blowouts at all, all games were hard fought and fun to watch. If TOK and his crew show up in your area, it is highly recommended that you get out to watch them.
A few notes about the championship game: Both goals were scored by a young player we borrowed from another Chicago team. Earlier that weekend he had scored 4 goals against Space Coast. I can only imagine that goalie’s thoughts as that same player came barreling toward him on a breakaway in the first period.
One of our teammates had a family thing so he missed the championship game. While we had to skate hard the entire weekend, the last game we had only one sub on the bench so it was all the more challenging.
While this tournament was exceptionally well run, our hotel left something to be desired. We found out the day of our arrival that the hotel parking lot was under construction, so we had to park at the hotel next door and wheel ourselves through a long sidewalk and a patch of gravel. I set a personal record by falling out of my wheelchair four times when I hit the gravel. When we weren’t falling in gravel, did get to eat at all our favorite places, including Invictus, Fat Nat’s Eggs, and Pizza Luce.
This was not my favorite hockey season, but that last tournament more than made up for it. It took us two years to get a team together, but it exceeded all my expectations, and it was my favorite hockey weekend in my 9 year career.
What’s Next
Our team might be in for some big changes next season. Three of the players we brought to Minnesota were from other teams, and it seems like they will join our team officially. I’m also hearing we might not have a separate A team, and will combine everyone into on B team that will play in Tier 2 or 3. But as always, you never know until that first team meeting in October. Until then, it’s more off season training and summer skates.
Congrats on the win!
Thanks for the recap, Kevin!
Great way to end the season, too!
But he’s a very humble and nice person and he even hung out with us outside the rink a few times.
I’ll say. Hanging out with the guy, all he mentioned is that he was a former goalie and now skated out, lol.
Excellent write-up and congrats, champ!
This article made me the happiest of any I’ve edited recently. Thanks and congratulations TOK, and thanks for including Jimbo’s wonderful sportswriting.
+ 1
Thanks!
You’re welcome. It had been a while since I wrote anything and it felt good. Thanks for the time you spent editing.
If a USPSA match is organized against the rules, the players will take to instagram and rage, and post vitriol-illed podcasts.
Sled hockeyers seem much more chill.
They get to take it out on each other.
No, we’re like everyone else. Some teams are cool, some will bitch and moan after the game.
Speaking of USPSA matches, the Maryland State USPSA match was last weekend, and holy shit was it well done. You should plan on coming down for it next year.
Good to know. Is it usually in early June?
What a great write up! Even Jimbo did OK. Congrats on the big win in The State Of Hockey.
I forgot to include this, but the NHL put out this video highlighting our game against Minnesota. It was heavy on the NHL players, did not show the fight or any game action, and did not mention we beat them. 🙂
https://www.nhl.com/wild/news/hendrickson-foundation-festival-060323/c-344736592
You made the photos, though!
Nice.
That bruise is a beauty.
Great write up and congratulations.
It’s still around over a week later! I think that was from a sled. I went head first into the boards, then felt something smash into my arm.
Wiener mobile sighting outside St.Louis
I think these cuntes changed the name to “Frankmobile.” I don’t see how the song is going to still work.
It will always be the Wiener Mobile, Burma, Constantinople, and the Sears Tower.
…and Key-yev.
I just went down to get lunch, and shared the elevator with a crew-cut young woman with around fifty extra pounds of adipose tissue, wearing tights and a ‘Fit as Fuck’ tank top. This place just oozes class, let me tell you…
Did you ask her who she stole the shirt from?
She traded her “Fat People are Hard to Kidnap” shirt.
I probably would have had to fight her, and I don’t think I’m in her weight class…
That’s called “Wearing it ironically”.
Did you tell her that her shirt misspelled “Fat”?
She should have worn one that read “I BEAT ANOREXIA”.
WTF & Ted S. – A lol at your replies.
I’d forgotten about this. Police were chasing a car. Car hits another car and that car catches fire. Driver bails out and:
https://www.nj.com/hudson/2023/06/jersey-city-settles-lawsuit-in-high-speed-chase-that-led-to-fiery-crash-for-695m.html
OTH – Ray of Sunshine
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2023/06/13/orlando-police-officer-pulled-over-florida-deputy-body-cam-video/70316501007/
the officers involved (in the Feliz-Rodriguez case) were immediately suspended and subsequently terminated
Well that’s something, at least.
Only to go work at another department. The union likely provided job placement.
Holy crap – the chase (in the RoS) occurred not far away from me. I know exactly where that is. And if the guy was doing 80-85 on Aloma, he deserves a ticket.
Don’t be this guy.
“January 6th is gonna look like a playground” – Trump supporter Pat speaks outside of Trump National Doral Miami where Former President expected to arrive for his second Indictment – “All we need is an order, we are ready”
OK, Fed.
I can’t tell. Thought maybe it was the meth talking.
+ 1 khaki pants
I live in Indiana, and I know plenty of people who voted for Trump, and some who really really like him. But not a single one that’s waiting for him to “Give an order.”
I know a couple who voted for him too but are “over” him and want him to just go away before Harris/Newsom/Buttgag/Bragg administrations rule for next few decades.
Was it playing CNN?
Supposed bomb threat outside Miami courthouse.
It’s a flat screen TV.
Honk Honk.
Was it a Mooninite?
https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2017/01/31/looking-back-at-the-boston-mooninite-panic-10-years-later/
No
https://www.oann.com/newsroom/man-arrested-in-maryland-for-shooting-three-people/
Long handgun?
Like this?
Or this?
It shoots through schools.
You shouldn’t hang me on a hook, Johnny. My father hung me on a hook once. Once!
A good but not great movie. But so many great quotes.
“Your Testicles And You”
Ju fargin icehole!
This is fargin’ war!
Ju corksucker!
“Deported to Sweden. Claims he’s not from Sweden.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colt_Walker
I built a replica during COVID on my 3D printer. The thing is ridiculously unbalanced. Also note that the real thing doesn’t have a good reputation.
The Walker was Sam Colt’s first post-Patersen attempt at a sixgun, and had lots of issues, even as it was the first real magnum revolver (relative to other sidearms of the time). He improved the design steadily through the 1st, 2nd and 3rd Model Dragoon series, and by the time he brought out the 1851 Navy sixgun, he pretty much had it down – the ’51 Navy is sweet-handling, reliable, slick as a snake when clearing leather. Only has about the power of a .32 Long, but you can’t have everything – not in the black-powder world.
This?
This
This!
Was it an 88 Magnum?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl17yr2VWQg
It shoots through schools.
Well done and congratulations!
Thanks everyone! This was a good reminder of how I enjoy writing, and that it’s good experience to get your stuff in front of people.
Kevin and Jimbo, well done. I would go see a game if there is ever one near by. Looks like a blast.
You people are dangerously delusional.
WATCH THIS THREAD. We will be on the ground covering the Miami Trump indictment circus today. Stay tuned for more.
Anyone who participates in that shit show is delusional.
Thanks, TOK!
You’re welcome.
Ted Cruz freaks out on an FBI Operative who refuses to talk about the Biden investigation.
https://youtu.be/NRaRL52DOIg
Defund the FBI, fire all of them, bulldoze the building.
And nothing will happen.
The elites have spoken.
And nothing will happen.
You from Jersey too? What exit?
153 off the Parkway
142!
So maybe I have my procedure messed up. But if an individual, subpoenaed by the senate, appears and yet refuses to answer questions, couldn’t that person be held in contempt ?
And then what? It’s not like the Dem’s Gestapo will ever face any actual consequences.
Salt the earth and enslave their women?
How likely is it that the senate will still approve the 702 foreign intelligence surveillance act? My bet is that it will still pass with more than 65% support by the Senate.
This is perhaps the stupidest idea ever.
I concur.
But I thought Toyota wasn’t going EV?
Dylan Mulvaney can be their spokesperson for that model.
I’d be willing to bet that Dylan Mulvaney can’t drive a manual transmission.
I’m sure he handles his stick just fine.
I was wondering who would take a swing at that one after I teed it up.
https://www.cnbc.com/2023/01/26/toyota-ceo-and-president-akio-toyoda-to-step-down-.html
Akio Toyoda is an EV skeptic but he’s moved (forced?) to the board and a new CEO is apparently all in.
Blasphemers must be punished. He’s lucky to be on the board…for now.
His argument has some validity.
He says he can use the battery for 1 EV to build 90 hybrid batteries and save a lot more gas via scale.
It makes a ton of sense. Both economically and environmentally. Therefore, he must be canceled.
The whole point of the thing was as a toy for driver fun. Seems asinine to me too.
As others mentioned Toyota has had to embrace EVs much more, but still is pushing hybrids.
They should let someone else drive and get one of these.
Biden pulls out of College Athlete Day at the White House, citing tooth pain
https://www.ajc.com/politics/biden-pulls-out-of-college-athlete-day-at-the-white-house-citing-tooth-pain/R7PXF6KNTBA37CR432LVDPICSQ/
All those masked and not fully vaccinated athletes must be disappointed.
They’d probably be more happy to just see the building without Biden in it.
Who wouldn’t?
Kamala sure would.
He must be a mess. So many girls to sniff and he has to miss it.
SF’s problem isn’t coming up with things to write about, it’s that there’s TOO MUCH to write about and he has to decide.
Well this doesn’t sound good:
https://twitter.com/albertherne/status/1668678747531231235
So you are saying that China is about to dump all their US treasuries overnight.
Burn it all down!
I doubt it. This looks more like a congressman posturing as “tough on China.”
Besides which, Congress just gave the Biden administration a blank check in spending that far exceeds the amount of treasuries in question.
It would be economic suicide for China. It would vaporize their financial system, for which those treasuries are the foundation. It would also wreck their exports to any country still using the dollar as a reserve currency (which is all but a handful of them).
Newport News 1st grade teacher shot by student was fired, attorney says
https://www.wavy.com/news/local-news/newport-news/newport-news-1st-grade-teacher-shot-by-student-was-fired-attorney-says/
Interesting strategy on all sides. She chose not to take the Work Comp. They effectively fired her.
So she may as well make another employment claim now too. I’m sure the school could care less as it it’s not their money…
I don’t get it.
There’s probably a condition in the workman’s comp policy that prevents her from suing if she takes the reimbursement.
That’s my thought.
In something this extreme you can get around it and go after the General Liability policy.
The firing is the more interesting aspect.
NNPS isn’t staffed by the best and brightest.
That’s how workers comp works. That’s why it was created, in fact.
https://www.engadget.com/instant-pot-parent-company-files-for-bankruptcy-163652674.html
How the hell did they fuck that up?
Who doesn’t love their instant pot?
*raises hand*
There’s always one weirdo…
The fuck?! Our IP gets a heavy workout.
Ours, too. Although we have the Crockpot version.
How on earth did InstaPot manage to fuck up that badly?