Stoic Friday XX

by | Jun 2, 2023 | Advice, LifeSkills, Musings | 106 comments

Last Week

Meditations

How to Be a Stoic

How to Think Like a Roman Emperor

If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)

This week’s book:

Seneca’s Letters from a Stoic

Disclaimer: I’m not your Supervisor. These are my opinions after reading through these books a few times.

Picking up where I left off with Seneca’s letters to his friend and student, Lucilius Junior, an official in Sicily.

Following is a paragraph-by-paragraph discussion of the letter. Seneca’s text appears in bold, my replies are in normal text.

ON HARMFUL PRAYERS

1. I file a complaint, I enter a suit, I am angry. Do you still desire what your nurse, your guardian, or your mother, have prayed for in your behalf? Do you not yet understand what evil they prayed for? Alas, how hostile to us are the wishes of our own folk! And they are all the more hostile in proportion as they are more completely fulfilled. It is no surprise to me, at my age, that nothing but evil attends us from our early youth; for we have grown up amid the curses invoked by our parents. And may the gods give ear to our cry also, uttered in our own behalf, – one which asks no favours!

 

When I was young, my parents wanted me to go to college and “Use those brains in your head”. I can still hear my dad saying that to me. They also wished I would do well in school, which was a struggle for me. I refused to do homework from first grade on and would constantly argue with my parents about my grades. I know now that they meant well, but it was a struggle going to school and hating it everyday.

The things they wanted from me and the things I wanted for myself were diametrically opposed most times. I wanted to be a mechanic and tried to enroll in our Vo-Tech program that would graduate me as a journeyman mechanic, but my mom wouldn’t sign me up for it. After my parents got divorced, my dad said if I lived with him, he would sign me up. Once I went through with that, he said, “I talked to your mother and we think it would be in your best interest to take AP classes at the new school.” At that point I checked out completely, quit the wrestling team, started smoking pot and partying all the time.

I like to think there’s an alternative reality where I am a master mechanic making as much money as my parents imagined I would make if I went to college.

Over the years, some of the things I have either prayed or fervently wished for weren’t always in line with what would truly be good for me.

2. How long shall we go on making demands upon the gods, as if we were still unable to support ourselves? How long shall we continue to fill with grain the market-places of our great cities? How long must the people gather it in for us? How long shall many ships convey the requisites for a single meal, bringing them from no single sea? The bull is filled when he feeds over a few acres; and one forest is large enough for a herd of elephants. Man, however, draws sustenance both from the earth and from the sea.

Once Romans became prosperous, they began to import more exotic foods from other nations and the sea. In nature, animals survive on what’s around them, but rich people have forgotten how to do this. While enjoying these luxuries they would still pray to their gods for more.

3. What, then? Did nature give us bellies so insatiable, when she gave us these puny bodies, that we should outdo the hugest and most voracious animals in greed? Not at all. How small is the amount which will satisfy nature? A very little will send her away contented. It is not the natural hunger of our bellies that costs us dear, but our solicitous cravings.

Once people become used to a certain level of luxury, it is difficult for them to go down below that level. I enjoy good food, and spend more money than I should on quality ingredients that seemed out of reach when I was younger. For Thanksgiving last year, I bought an 8 pound prime rib and that cost more than I would spend on food in a week when my kids were young. We would have done fine with a turkey, but I wanted the prime rib.

4. Therefore those who, as Sallust[1] puts it, “hearken to their bellies,” should be numbered among the animals, and not among men; and certain men, indeed, should be numbered, not even among the animals, but among the dead. He really lives who is made use of by many; he really lives who makes use of himself. Those men, however, who creep into a hole and grow torpid[2] are no better off in their homes than if they were in their tombs. Right there on the marble lintel of the house of such a man you may inscribe his name,[3] for he has died before he is dead. Farewell.

I have known people that have died while they are still living, once they retire, they serve no purpose other than to “enjoy life”.

A friend of a friend lives in Thailand, pays a bar girl to be his live in girlfriend/maid/cook, and is very proud to brag to my buddy how awesome his life is and how cheap the cost of living is. Even in my younger days of drinking too much and chasing women, I could not imagine living that way.

I admit I don’t have a lot of experience in that type of behavior since I met my wife at 19 and we got married when I was 22. If my wife left me, I don’t see how I could live my life in a way that would embarrass myself and my children. I try to live in a way that I can be proud of, and there is nothing in that lifestyle that engenders anything but shame for me.

Music this week is Metal Church, because their new CD came out this week. It is more in line with their early CD The Dark.

Their first “hit“.

This song has a good kick to it.

Definitely my favorite from this CD.

About The Author

ron73440

ron73440

What I told my wife when she said my steel Baby Eagle .45 was heavy, "Heavy is good, heavy is reliable, if it doesn't work you could always hit him with it."-Boris the Blade MOLON LABE

106 Comments

  1. Sean

    A friend of a friend lives in Thailand, pays a bar girl to be his live in girlfriend/maid/cook, and is very proud to brag to my buddy how awesome his life is and how cheap the cost of living is. Even in my younger days of drinking too much and chasing women, I could not imagine living that way.

    We’re gonna need to see a picture of her.

    • Count Potato

      She’ll be in “Stoic Friday XXX”

    • cyto

      I gotta say…. having also taken the church sanctioned route and now getting old….

      Woulda been a lot cheaper. Probably a lot less stressful.

      • ron73440

        I guess it depends on whether or not it works out.

        If I had been wrong and my wife turned out to be evil, I would not be happy looking back at the choice I made to marry her.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Ask all those guys with Russian or Ukrainian “brides” they picked up online if it was cheaper in the end.

        A friend had a Japanese wife, and that sucked up 14 years of his life and she turned out… not so fun.

    • R.J.

      He’s going to fire some more MF’s.

      • Brochettaward

        Eh…Didn’t he tweet last night that his fix to the whole mess basically still left Daily Wire’s post shadow banned?

      • R.J.

        The only thing that would restrict the movie was willingness of advertisers to have their ads display next to the content. That is not a major impediment, there are lots of advertisers who would, and some advertisers who wouldn’t want that to be seen with their product. That is not a ban, but if a ton of advertisers did not want to be seen with that movie it would restrict access.

      • R C Dean

        On that note, it’s interesting that he fired 80% of Twitter’s staff (I’m pretty sure I saw that number during the Week of Long Knives), and Twitter works just fine without them.

        The only hiccups seem to be lingering bits of bad censorship coding. And, I believe, a few holdouts trying to sabotage the free speech program there.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        At some point, Twitter will have an outage, however brief, and the usual suspects will gloat that he shouldn’t have fired all those people.

      • R.J.

        Heh. When the opposite is true. An outage will be sabotage, which I suspect with the DeSantis launch.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    nobody has a clue as to what he is talking about

    “Let that sink in” first appeared when he took control of twatter, and posted a picture of himself carrying a sink into the HQ.

  3. robc

    Last summer 3 times a vole fell in one of my window wells. I would put a board down and they would climb out eventually.

    They have torn up my front yard, however, I have even put out some VoleX to kill them. One just fell into a window well, and I feel bad about letting it die, I am thinking of putting the board down to let it out.

    Is that weird and contradictory or does it make any sense? I still want it to die, but I feel bad leaving it in the window well to die.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      You don’t want it to suffer needlessly. That makes sense. We used those glue strips when we had a vole problem. I couldn’t watch them stuck there on the strips, so I smashed them with a hammer to put them out of their misery.

      • Ted S.

        Liquid nitrogen would probably be quicker.

    • Nephilium

      Fucking chipmunks have dug out plants in three containers so far this spring. They’re trying to burrow in a small container.

    • Animal

      We have a few voles around, but our resident predator Herman the Ermine keeps them in check.

    • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

      Maybe you need some VoleXXX to get them all to come out?

  4. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    “Once people become used to a certain level of luxury, it is difficult for them to go down below that level.”

    My son is pissed at Netflix for cracking down password sharing. “They are going to lose viewers!” Yeah, viewers who weren’t paying anything, like him. Granted, he’s in college and in my opinion should still be considered part of the household, so the crackdown is a pain in the butt, but it’s hardly the end of the world.

    • R C Dean

      I doubt anyone is going to cancel their account because they are now limited on how many freeloaders they can carry.

  5. Rebel Scum

    Why was an alphabet cult flag at an elementary school in the first place?

    An LGBTQ flag was burned at an elementary school in Southern California this month ahead of a Pride event, and police are investigating the incident as a hate crime, authorities said.

    Someone broke into Saticoy Elementary School in North Hollywood during the weekend that preceded May 22 and burned the flag, the Los Angeles Unified School District said.

    A Los Angeles police spokesperson said Wednesday the incident is being investigated as a “vandalism hate crime.”

    Hate crime = thought crime.

    “There was a small potted plant that was set on fire on the campus and the plant had a small (4 x 6 inch) PRIDE flag inside the potted plant container. Both the plant and the flag were destroyed by the fire,” he said.

    The. Horror.

    • R.J.

      We need a hetero flag with a french fry going into a donut, like that old DEVO video. That can be displayed along side the pride flag. If not, lawsuit!

      • Nephilium

        Well, you could always go this route (this specific shirt is SFW, other ones that may be advertised alongside it… not so much).

        I just wore mine to a concert last summer.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    An LGBTQ flag was burned at an elementary school in Southern California this month ahead of a Pride event, and police are investigating the incident as a hate crime, authorities said.

    We’re deep into “Step on a crack. break your mother’s back” territory.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Excuse me, that’s “Step on a crack, break your birthing person’s back.” I can’t even.

      • juris imprudent

        You bigots! What of Mr. Loopner, born without a spine? Just completely erase the existence of the spineless would you?

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        You’re right. That was very ableist. Literally shaking.

  7. Mojeaux

    Pardon OT (semi-OT because it involves gluttony and greed): I just made my very involved tuna salad and thought I would share, once again, like it’s the gospel of the second coming of Jesus Christ because, well, it is:

    4 cans tuna drained (water or oil, doesn’t matter)
    4 hard-boiled eggs, diced
    1 white onion, diced
    8 ounces extra sharp cheddar, grated
    1 cup mayo (OMWC, look away! look away!)
    1 Tb salt
    1 Tb black pepper
    1 Tb garlic powder
    1 Tb paprika
    1 Tb chili powder
    1 Tb cayenne pepper
    1/4 c dried parsley

    Blend thoroughly (I use a hand mixer). Chill 1 hour to let the peppers and onion set.

    You can adjust the ingredients to taste, natch.

    • Mojeaux

      Oh, also, you can use it as a dip for Wheat Thins or, well, any cracker of your choice.

    • ron73440

      I make plain tuna salad with mustard and mayonnaise, yours sounds amazing.

      Next week when my wife is out of town, I’ll whip up a batch of this.

      • Mojeaux

        I have a quick tuna salad I make just for nostalgia’s sake:

        1 can tuna
        3 Tb sweet relish
        garlic powder to taste
        onion powder to taste
        salt
        mayo to hold it together

        Serve on buttered toast with a slice of American cheese.

        (Nostalgia is my mom’s tuna melt when I was growing up and poor. She’d put the tuna on a hamburger bun, put the cheese on top, and throw it under the broiler.)

    • nw

      A *tablespoon* of cayenne? Seems high.

      I’d think that miracle whip would be ok if you didn’t want mayo. I prefer
      it for tuna salad.

      Seems like a it’s both tuna salad and egg salad.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh yes. It’s SPICY.

        To be honest, I never measure. I just dump a bunch in. It looked like a tablespoon to me.

      • Mojeaux

        Miracle Whip is for leftover white meat turkey on white bread, or chicken salad, also on white bread.

    • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

      /steps up to microphone

      Nothing should be made with mayonnaise.

      /steps back from microphone.

      • Sean

        ^^

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Brandishes a cross

  8. The Late P Brooks

    You can adjust the ingredients to taste, natch.

    Mine is a bit simpler; I make it pretty much as egg salad with tuna in it. Just made some yesterday.

  9. Tundra

    This one is a little more challenging for me. Is he warning against the material? Is our insatiability an affront to nature?

    …for he has died before he is dead.

    I worry about this a lot. There are times when I feel like I’m just going through the motions and it freaks me out.

    I know nothing about Metal Church (other than knowing the name), but I was surprised to learn that they’ve been around since 1980 and released a dozen albums. The things you learn from Stoic Fridays!

    Thanks, Ron!

    • ron73440

      One of my co-workers is retiring and all he wants to do is watch tv and relax now.

      That definitely sounds like dying alive to me.

      Metal Church is a band with many really good songs scattered through many average albums.

      They have always stayed heavy, I like them more than I realized.

      • R.J.

        *RJ reads comment, long stares into the distance

      • Mojeaux

        One of my co-workers is retiring and all he wants to do is watch tv and relax now.

        A former bestie (she of the tuna salad above) had a mother who was a powerhouse dynamo when she was a working mom. Then she retired and she just declined physically and mentally. My bestie asked her what happened and she said, “I sat down and just never got up again.”

        I value intellectual exercise, so I’ll never quit working, but my physical body is breaking down and I need to get moving or I’ll end up like my mom, who refuses to sit down, but every minute movement makes her have pain. I mean, it’s so bad that she’s voluntarily stopped roadtripping, which has always been her favorite thing to do. When we’ve roadtripped, I drive. When we go anywhere together, I drive. She used to love driving. I think she uses the excuse that I demand to drive because I hate the way she drives, to get out of driving.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        That is pretty close to what happened with my fathers dad, except he sat on a barstool. He was always thwarted in life, or so it seemed to him and in the end just stopped.

        By the way, music from 1980; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69_1T2YOdrU

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Headline I just saw:

    “Americans are lunching out less, but spending more when they do.”

    No shit, Shirley?

    I think the implication is supposed to be that people are trading up for quality vs quantity, but all I know is I used to be able to go out for bacon and eggs now and then and not have to pay nigh unto twenty bucks.

    • Mojeaux

      There’s a breakfast place in my municipality that used to be reasonable, but the last time my mom took me there for my birthday, she dropped $50 for 2 people. For bfast. Now, I got eggs Benedict (because Hollandaise sauce is a beverage @KK), which is expensive, but her plate of eggs, hashbrowns, and bacon were just as expensive.

      • Nephilium

        Yep. The girlfriend and I have commented that the restaurant prices have been going up (as well as drink prices and the like). There are some places that are now up to ~$35 for a breakfast/brunch item, a cocktail/beer, and tax. There are still cheap places around, but they’re getting harder to find.

      • Animal

        I hope they serve that Eggs Benedict on an old hubcap. You should always serve Eggs Benedict on an old hubcap.

        Because, you know, there’s no place like chrome for the Hollandaise.

      • slumbrew

        *stares into distance*

        I consider myself a free speech absolutest. But you have me rethinking that, Animal.

      • Grummun

        “May I ask whether these pleasing attentions appalling puns proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?”

      • Animal

        Yes.

      • Shpip

        If I say a quick prayer of thanks over my plate hubcap of poached eggs and hollandaise, have I made a Benediction?

      • Mojeaux

        You are rotten to the core.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        So, a bad egg?

        You don’t yolk around.

      • Ted S.

        I believe Swiss was a Marine, so Shpip is being rotten to the Corps, too.

      • Mojeaux

        Paging narrowed gaze. Paging narrowed gaze.

      • Not Adahn

        They are also best eaten outside the Coliseum.

      • Sean

        So fancy that they don’t even list their prices…

        3 car pile up – 3,203 calories

        o.O

      • Animal

        Breakfast, lunch or dinner, this place has the best food and beverages between Anchorage and Fairbanks.

      • Mojeaux

        Sweet Mimi’s looks fabulous.

      • Not Adahn

        See? For wimmen.

      • Mojeaux

        I didn’t disagree, and your strategy should work wonders.

      • Not Adahn

        I will also say they make a biscuit actually worth eating.

      • Mojeaux

        I made biscuits the other day. They came out surprisingly good. Not that good. Hardee’s makes the best biscuits.

      • Not Adahn

        WhatisthisIcan’teven

      • Sean

        “Java chip Oreos and caramel on top french toast”

        Sounds like diabetes.

      • Not Adahn

        Whycome U no like bacon cheezburger omelet?

      • Sean

        Didn’t see it. Needs fresh jalapenos ghost peppers.

  11. Gustave Lytton

    there’s an alternative reality where I am a master mechanic making as much money as my parents imagined I would make if I went to college

    Or an alternative universe where you’re a meth head part changer in hock to the tool truck.

    You have a good life Ron that you can be proud of.

    • ron73440

      Thanks, that made me laugh.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of vermin…

    I have what I assume to be some sort of burrowing rodent in my yard. They are fast workers. Pretty much overnight, a big pile of freshly excavated dirt will appear where nne was before. There isn’t really an obvious tunnel entrance, which strikes me as odd.

    • slumbrew

      Graboids.

    • R.J.

      Dwarf poo

    • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

      Dig into that dirt pile, and you will find a hole. Get your acetyne torch out, flood the warren with the gas, and then toss a match in.

      Problem solved.

      • Mojeaux

        You forgot “Say, ‘Hold my beer.'”

  13. Mojeaux

    When I was in high school (private religious school with limited-ish options, no AP), I took as many hard courses as I could because I knew I was going to BYU. I mean, I was born knowing I was going to BYU, so I never really tried for anything else nor did it occur to me that I might want to do something different. Anyway, my school didn’t have weighted classes, so the dude who took music got valedictorian, but I did get into BYU. Note: I didn’t have to work too hard in high school to get As and Bs.

    My dad looked at the want ads, saw “accountants wanted” and decided I should go into accounting and made my first semester schedule for me. It was 9 hours of econ, accounting, algrebra, and 9 hours of English, biology, and religion. I had no idea how college worked, I had the social and world skills of an 11-year-old, and I was side-swiped by the speed at which everything went. I was never given a choice as to what I was going to be, with my preferences never explored at all, much less that I had acquired one.

    I knew I wanted to be a writer, but I also knew how to write a proposal by the time I was 15, and so I also knew I’d never be able to make a living at it. Never had that as a dream. I’ve gone from transcription/admin/bookkeeping job to transcription/admin/bookkeeping job ever since. Nothing I really enjoy is valuable enough to make a living at.

    I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

    Me too

    • Tundra
  15. The Late P Brooks

    Another nail in the coffin

    Twitter’s head of trust and safety Ella Irwin told Reuters on Thursday that she has resigned from the social media company.

    In the role, Irwin oversaw content moderation, but the company has faced criticism for lax protections against harmful content since billionaire Elon Musk acquired it in October.

    Irwin’s departure also comes as the platform has struggled to keep advertisers on it, mainly as brands have been wary of appearing next to unsuitable content.

    How will Musk survive?

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Some of those brands need to give their nuts a tug.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        Some of those brands only exist as a hot house flower. Their whole thing would collapse if they were seen with the wrong people.

    • Ted S.

      but the company has faced criticism for lax protections

      The company faced criticism for politically-motivated censorship in the previous regime, but the media never phrased it that way.

  16. Aloysious

    Thanks for this week, Ron.

    Metal Church is a fine choice. Sad that both Wayne and Howe have passed away.

  17. Mojeaux

    That feeling when you find out a good friend who made you a blanket in 1989 that you still use, but lost touch with, died 8 years ago.

    I’m getting ready to re-bat and re-back that blanket because it’s awesome, so I thought I’d tell her. I found an old email address, hoped it was good, then started googling.

    • Raven Nation

      I went looking for an old friend’s e-mail address when the one I had for him came back.

      Found out he’d been arrested by the feds for crossing state lines to have sex with a minor.

    • Drake

      Sorry. Had one of those episodes too. An old college buddy I had lost touch with – went to look him up and found I had missed his funeral by 3 years.

      • Mojeaux

        This is the second college friend I’ve found by accident. Random googling after a sparked memory.

      • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

        It sucks, and at my age, 50+. it is becoming all to frequent.

      • Mojeaux

        They were both in their 40s, and cancer got them.

    • Sensei

      That’s good.

  18. Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

    I am not sure what you do for a living, Ron, but being a mechanic is no more or less rewarding. When my career in logistics tanked, I went back and did a trade school stint, stationary engineer in my case, and no, it wasn’t all it is cracked up to be, either in money or satisfaction. You are still dealihg with a-holes, incompetents, and everything you deal with now.

    Be proud of all you have accomplished, as getting to the point you are at; happily married, a place to express your self (glibs), and so on, all of it is worth while.

  19. Sensei

    None of my Long Island coworkers were happy with the change and none had significantly less long commutes.

    Unfortunately, with the ESA project, all signs point to a dud. Three months after full service on ESA started, it is far from clear ESA has resulted in any new ridership at all. In fact, there is some evidence to suggest that LIRR may have actually lost riders as a result of ESA because it made some people’s commutes worse.

    New York May Have Actually Lost Transit Riders by Building An $11 Billion Train Station

    OTH, union made shovel ready jobs for something like a decade of graft.

    • Not Adahn

      So if they spent money, to lose riders…

      *Does math*

      They made a profit on every rider!

    • Zwak , who will swing for the crime, in double time!

      8 billion cost overrun, who do they think they are, California?

  20. Not Adahn

    Somedays I really hate New Yorkers.