The Adventures of Gravity Man has been a cartoon series I’ve wanted to make for over 20 years.ย I first came up with the idea in high school.ย I tried to get it produced by my college TV station.ย I mailed a pitch to Cartoon Network. All that has ever come of it is the concept intro below using original artwork as well as footage from the public domain Superman cartoons that inspired it.ย For the cartoon network pitch I wrote 3 10 minute scripts and outlined 2 13 episode seasons.ย At first I will post these original scripts, but if there is interest I will write scripts for the other outlined episodes.ย Enjoy.
INT. LABORATORY–NIGHT
THUNDERย sounds and LIGHTNING flashes through the windows of the laboratory.ย Various crazy science experiments line the tables.ย Between two Tesla Coils is a heaping pile of MUD.ย Dr. LOBO stands in front of the coils wearing a lab coat, rubber gloves and dark goggles.ย His head is bald with tufts of hairย sprouting from either side. LIGHTNINGย AND THEN THUNDER crack again splashing the the doctor with a nefarious light.ย
DR. LOBO
Once you live, no one will ever be able to call Dr. LEO LOBO mad again.
LOBO pulls a switch and the pile of MUD flashes and pulses.
DR. LOBO
Yes! Yes!
The MUD begins to form into a human shape.
DR. LOBO
The MUD MONSTER breaks free of the enclosure and makes a loud roar. It raises its arms triumphantly with another flash and crack of lightning and thunder.
INT. METRO CITY METROPOLITAN NEWSPAPER-DAY
PEERLESS PALADIN, Gravity Man’s newspaper reporter alter-ego, sits at his desk in the Metro City Metropolitan, typing on his typewriter, pencils orbit around him.ย MARGO METTLESOME walks up to his desk.
MARGO METTLESOME
Peerless, you see the latest on the wire?
There is some mud monster attacking the city.
PEERLESS PALADIN
No Margo, I was not paying attention. What is going on?
MARGO METTLESOME
Well, Peerless Paladin, you’re out of the loop,
there is a monster made out of mud attacking the city.
PEERLESS PALADIN
Margo Mettlesome, you always are one step
ahead of me.
MARGO MEDDLESOME
And don’t you forget it.
PEERLESS PALADIN
I, I have to…go…be scared.
PEERLESS runs off, but his feet keep sticking to the floor, so it’s a struggle. As he makes his way, things from people’s desks fly off and stick to him.
MARGO METTLESOME
Well, maybe this is a job a man can’t do.
FADE TO BLACK
EXT. CITY-DAY
The MUD MONSTER is terrorizing the city, throwing cars and roaring. GRAVITY MAN appears, trying to run down the street, but his feet keep sticking to the pavement. With each stressful step he pulls up chunks of concrete, which begin to orbit around him. Finally, worn out from attempting to run, GRAVITY MAN reaches the MUD MONSTER. A portly Japanese midget is standing, watching the mayhem unfold, with a camera around his neck.
GRAVITY MAN
Stop there, you fiendish fiend!
The MUD MONSTER pays him no mind and smashes another car. GRAVITY MAN walks over to a big blue post office mail box, still struggling to walk, and rips the mailbox from the sidewalk. He cocks his arm and throws the mailbox, but it gets sucked right back to him and hits him in the head, sticking to his face. GRAVITY MAN peels the mailbox off his face, and throws it to the ground.
MARGO METTLESOME comes around the corner and approaches the Japanese midget.
MARGO METTLESOME
I’ll pay you three bits for that camera there.
Pointing to the camera around his neck. He just stares at her. She pulls out a dollar bill from her handbag and points to the camera, now understanding, he takes the camera from around his neck and hands it to her, snatching the bill from her hand. He stares at the bill in his hands and smiles.
Just then the MUD MONSTER grabs him, MARGO METTLESOME snaps photos. The MUD MONSTER takes the midget and throws him at GRAVITY MAN and both close their eyes and put their hands out in anticipation of an impact, but instead of hitting GRAVITY MAN, the midget goes into orbit around him.
GRAVITY MAN
Ha-ha!
GRAVITY MAN stands in a heroic pose as ORBIT BOY whizzes around him. THE MUD MONSTER now grabs MARGO METTLESOME.
MARGO METTLESOME
Help!
GRAVITY MAN
Unhand her, you menacing miscreant!
GRAVITY MAN approaches the monster, still struggling to walk. He stands in front of the monster.
GRAVITY MAN (CONT’D)
I warn you, rancorous ruffian, release her!
As GRAVITY MAN speaks, ORBIT BOY’s orbit takes him through the monster, with each rotation he passes through it, slowly chopping it down.
GRAVITY MAN (CONT’D)
For I am the protector of this fair city, this shining gem.
I have sworn a vow to protect all who dwell here.
I am the guardian of justice in this blissful berg.
For with my great power, comes an even greater responsibility.
I am the knight protectorate of this jeweled kingdom,
and I will not allow a repugnant rapscallion such as you defile her!
By the time GRAVITY MAN has finished his speech, ORBIT BOY has chopped the monster down to nothing and MARGO METTLESOME falls into GRAVITY MAN’s arms.
MARGO METTLESOME
You saved me!
GRAVITY MAN
Yes, yes I did.
MARGO METTLESOME
You can let go now.
GRAVITY MAN
Ah, yes.
GRAVITY MAN exerts himself to peel her from his arms. As she stands there staring into his eyes, MARGO is knocked to the ground when ORBIT BOY comes around.
FADE TO BLACK
INT. METRO CITY METROPOLITAN-DAY
PEERLESS PALADIN is sitting at his desk, ORBIT BOY hitting the desk because it is in his path. MARGO METTLESOME approaches and drops a copy of the newspaper on the desk.
CU NEWSPAPER: GRAVITY MAN SAVES METRO CITY WITH NEW SIDEKICK OBIT BOY
PICTURE OF GRAVITY MAN AND THE MUD MONSTER.
MARGO METTLESOME
Take a look-see at that.
PEERLESS
Orbit Boy, hmm.
MARGO stares at ORBIT BOY.
MARGO METTLESOME
Haven’t I seen you some place before?
ORBIT BOY SHRUGS.
PEERLESS
Ah, yes, he’s my cousin Buddy, um, from, Nebraskansas.
MARGO METTLESOME
I thought so, nice to meet you again. Anyway,
I’ve got to run, there’s reports of
an island of dinosaurs off the coast.
MARGO walks away.
PEERLESS
Island of Dinosaurs? Hmm.
CU on his eyes as they shift.
PEERLESS
Sounds like a job for GRAVITY MAN and ORBIT BOY!
PEERLESS gets up from his desk and struggles to run.
FADE TO BLACK
FADE OUT
Your college had it’s own TV station?
Yes, I was in the Radio-TV-Film program, wouldn’t have been good if there wasn’t a TV station
Heh… very nice parody of the 40s/50s era.
I look forward to the ’90s Smallville style teen reboot — with this theme, of course.
(More seriously — you did surprise me… I figured he’d have actual gravity manipulation powers… which would put him in the “Oh holy crap!” level of powers [just under Reality Warpers]… This was, of course, much funnier… Especially Cousin Buddy…)
Cartoon Network will do a gender switch and have Gravity Woman be played by Lizzo.
Add Dylan Mulvaney as Orbit Lad and you have a comic. You listening, CPRM?
I’d mฬตaฬตsฬตtฬตuฬตrฬตbฬตaฬตtฬตeฬต ฬตtฬตoฬต watch that.
Blarg.
With the power of infinite escape velocity.
Wouldn’t that be a…
(puts on sunglasses)
A Black Whole?
Iโm straight but those shorts are making me feel certain ways.
LOL
Cherry wine is now in the secondary.
Strawberry Wine – Deana Carter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up06CryWQpE&ab_channel=DeanaCarterVEVO
April Wine.
Sweet Cherry Wine – Tommy James
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlDML68sxv4&ab_channel=TommyJames-Topic
Cherry Red Wine
Nice! Johnny Lang is from up by Matt S.
Cherry Wine – grentperez
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b–E6Rq0jCs&ab_channel=grentperez
And me!
Although, he’s been claiming to be from Minneapolis for decades, so fuck him.
Iron & Wine (for Mojeaux)
Gravity man , gravity man
Doing the things that gravity can
Whatโs he like? Itโs not important
Gravity man
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vOLivyykLqk
The right to insult
It was just a decade and a half ago when freedom of speech was at least given lipservice as the most sacred of human rights and we all claimed to understand the dangers of allowing the government any control over what people say. It was recognized that unpopular speech had to be protected because otherwise there were no guarantees at all.
Then the Obama administration happened and all critics were labeled racists and as racists, they were dehumanize. Othered as monsters who could be stripped of rights.
Now, a lot of people obviously didn’t fundamentally believe this or have a shred of principle themselves. But the cultural zeitgeist demanded you at least acknowledge it or you’d be the one shunned as a bumbling would-be-authoritarian.
Interesting. Mahalo for posting.
He is correct. In the US the 1A is not there to protect popular speech. By being popular the speech is protected. The 1A is there to protect unpopular and even vile speech. I enjoy pointing out to certain groups that want to shut down speech they don’t like in 2023 that they speech they do like could be banned under the same rules they are proposing even 4 years ago.
Well, that sentence was a clear as mud.
I am curious how the people who think Indiana Jones was ok or non-offensive, non-political could really mesh that with scenes like Phoebe Waller-Bridge describing herself or a ridiculous scene where she has to knock out Indiana Jones at the end to save history and him. Or the fact that she is even capable of one-hit-KO’ing Indiana fucking Jones, old or not.
So you’ve gotten around to watching it?
I’ve watched a 5 hour breakdown of it scene by scene. That’s twice as long as the movie itself and probably still more entertaining than that flop.
I think some people are mistakenly inserting their own morals in here for the movie’s. It isn’t that the movie thinks Waller-Bridge is all that bad and thus not a Mary Sue, it’s that the movie sees little wrong with her strong independent women.
Most of her “flaws” would be the sort a feminist would ascribe to Indiana Jones as a character, but which they’d easily ignore in a female protagonist or view as fair play.
I won’t watch it.
I won’t give Disney money.
As pissed as I am about them destroying the legacy of Star Wars and Indiana Jones, I can never forgive them for fucking up Pixar.
I can’t forgive them for fucking up Disney.
*checks notes*. Makes good sense.
Iโve watched a 5 hour breakdown of it scene by scene
Good lord it must be tiresome being you. I take that back, you do you. If that’s what floats your boat go for it.
fucking nut job.
It has over 50,000 views on the Youtubes.
Wow, 50,000! that’s really something.
I’m pretty sure Disney would kill to have another 50,000 tickets sold for this shit show. They’d almost be at break-even territory!
And you can barely get 5 people to read your comments on Glibertarians.com.
That franchise is, for me, by far the least interesting works in Ford’s oeuvre. I’ve seen the original a couple times, the sequel once.
Your dedication to it is… unsettling.
Why are so consumed by this movie? I watched The Critical Drinker’s review. The movie sounds badly made, in parts preposterous, in other parts poorly scripted, and in some places asserts The Messageโข๏ธ. So I’ll skip it. What is it you want the rest of us to say?
Brochettaward is Harrison Ford?
Wouldn’t’ be the craziest conspiracy theory I’ve seen posited here.
I was responding to a post yesterday, specifically by the writer of this article.
I don’t expect many people to have strong opinions. Which was just looking for a response to those particular points about Bridge’s character.
To which scene to you refer? When she is lying to try and convince him to come along? Or just that ‘it’s called capitalism’ quip?
He’s 80 and he was shot and dying. I don’t think it would take much at that point.
The one where she describes herself as beautiful, self-sufficient, intelligent etc.
I think when the writer (the writer in this case being Phoebe Waller-Bridge) say that, they meant for the audience to believe all those things. Which isn’t just bad writing, but an incredible lack of self-awareness. There’s also the aspect of it where she can seemingly have any man she wants. Indy at least met resistance from his love interests.
And yet that boss girl quip fit her character. And yes it was unself-aware. In short two bad lines didnโt ruin the movie for me.
Ok. I could see a female lead calling herself ugly, clingy and dumb, but you are right, it is step too far to have a character describe themselves in the way she did.
She has an ex-fiancee in the film who is trying to kill her. At no point does she seduce anyone. At no point does any man ogle or go puppy dog for her. Where are you getting this shit?
It’s a shitty movie, just not shitty in the ways you are describing which were described to you. Seems like if Nerdrodic and The Drinker started saying Trump ordered the Proud Boys to round up and rape everyone in DC on Jan 6th you’d believe it whole heartedly.
How often do male characters make a line describing themselves in such direct terms without any other character at least quipping back at them? A male character wouldn’t be able to say that line without it going unchallenged. And for anyone who doubts she was sincere in writing those lines, they haven’t heard her speak about herself, her role in this movie, or her writing.
Does she or does she not oggle some shirtless dude and basically say she’ll have her way with him?
I mean, even the critics they showed this thing to at Cannes made it clear which Bridge’s character was leading the way for old man Indy who was deconstructed to shit.
Honestly, since the movie is shit, just not for the reasons you’re complaining, I don’t remember the context of her describing herself in those words. She oggles a man, yes, but that isn’t what you pointed to, and it’s one line, not enough to ruin a movie. Yes, she leads him around and it is lazy writing. But those aren’t the points you have been making. It’s shit writing, again, but not for the reasons you’ve been spouting off about, until now when you’re moving the goal posts. It’s still better than the Crystal Skull, but so is a brain hemorrhage.
Whoa. No need to shit on The Critical Drinker. His critique is pretty well in line with yours. I can’t help but notice Bro hasn’t mentioned what reviews he has watched.
Drinkers reviews can be entertaining, but I’m getting sick of the whole ‘THE MESSAGE’ schtick when he employs it for movies that suck for other reasons. Now I want a kebob. I like those frozen kebabs,
See below. Not about whether they ruined this movie. I’ve already given other reasons why I’m almost certain I’d hate this thing regardless of its politics.
But those things you are dismissing? They are very intentional, spread throughout the entirety of the films, and a big part of what is ruining the blockbusters. You can’t have strong male characters anymore and that’s before we even get started on what its done to female characters.
I am not the biggest fan of The Drinker, ironically enough. I did watch his video along with a host of others. This isn’t the opinion of one guy or one group of anti-woke critics. It’s the consensus.
I’ve had previous discussions with CPRM on this sort of subject. When it came to the politics of the RLM guys – that stands out to me. If this were a one-off movie, I could see CPRM’s point. But this is the trend in all Disney moves and big blockbusters in general. It’s a formula at this point and those things he’s dismissing? It’s not about them ruining a movie or not. It’s about whether it’s part of the same old pattern.
It’s a Disney bait and switch. And I’d guarantee somewhere in the millions of dollars worth of reshoots there is a scene of Bridge’s character donning the hat after Indy’s death no matter how much Mangold cries about the reaction to it.
This seems like it’ll be tough to deal with. I mean, what sticks to him and what doesn’t? Does he have super human strength to lift the pieces of concrete? I need to see this fleshed out more before I commit my zero dollars.
Just found a bottle of Johnny Blue buried in the back of the MILโs bar.
A pleasant surprise after a decade and a half or so.
(Early on I was told to have my way with the bar – dearly departed FIL was the scotch aficionado and nobody was interested in it after he passed)
If there are photos of you having your way with the bar, I won’t judge you.
Candid photos?
Slumbrew doesn’t strike as the type to pose while fucking furniture.
Itโs a built-in, so hard to get a good angle.
Nice find. The first Scotch I ever had (I was about 25 years old) was Johnny Walker Red. It scared me off of Scotch for 15+ years. I should give Johnny (not the Red) a try again.
All this talk of Scotch…
*get’s thirsty…eyes bottle of Macallan…
The Blue is nice, but doesnโt compare to a fine single malt like the Mac.
Red put me off Johnny for a long time. Blue didn’t do much for me, but I do like Black.
Go Team Venture!
/meant as a compliment
Iโm hearing that in Jonas Jrโs voice.
I was thinking Hank and Dean but it’s all good.
Don’t think I’ve seen anyone mention the movie release in a few short weeks.
Holy cow, I did not know about that. The wife and I will have an important date on the 21st.
I think itโs been mentioned in passing.
Iโm looking forward to it, obviously. Trailer looks great.
That’s because I’m pissed it won’t be on HBOMax even though they have the whole series. *shakes fist at sky*
It won’t? I’m sure eventually it will. I rented the Aqua Teen movie on youtube, then like a month later it was on Max.
I hope you are right.
Speaking of superheroes, I just saw our bat flying around looking for food. Neat. I’m very glad I didn’t listen to the game warden who told me to leave it to nature.
Look at you my budding vegetarian.
Someone alert Jada Smith.
https://twitchy.com/justmindy/2023/07/05/bill-de-blasio-announces-separation-from-wife-date-others-n2385105
I want Jada to rub her alopecia ravaged bald head all over my naked body while I hum the melody of “The Bonny Blue Flag”.
It’s kind of hard not to kink shame you for that.
lol
I’m guessing the thought process went something like, “my political career is over; let’s stop pretending”.
And yes, I would also like to know what happened to that $750M she grifted.
Not totally OT but my Government insists that I refer to myself as “Man/Boy” when sign in. Judi has known this fact for nearly 30 years. Whatta world.
Give Your Highness/Your Majesty a try and let us know how it goes.
Also, fuck Trudeau.
As long as we are talking conspiracies like Disney making movies that would be awesome if it weren’t for THE MESSAGE, this guy want’s to know ‘The Rest of the Story’.
We only have to go back half a decade to see Marvel owning the box office. So it isn’t some conspiracy that they had a successful creative process.
It also isn’t much of conspiracy theory to suggest that they are inserting politics into the movies. We can go down a list of very public very blatant stat4ements on what the goal is at Marvel and Lucas Films and Disney as a whole.
And the only reason the prequels were bad was because of the The Message? Was Padme a Mary Sue or just a shitty character? Politics may lead to shitty writing, but the failure is still the shitty writing. Death Wish 5 wasn’t as good as Death Wish. The politics never changed, they writing just got shitty.
Movies can suck for various reasons. Film at 11!I have zero doubt that Indian Jones 5 is a dull, lifeless dud for reasons besides politics. It probably has none of the sense of adventure or grit that made the trilogy good in the first place. It’s CGI and green screen for everything and Harrison Ford is 80. They probably substitute ridiculous over the top CGI action scenes that go on too long for substance. All of that can be true.
If you want to avoid talking about the politics, that’s fine. Take the RLM fence sitting route. But don’t pretend that it isn’t there when they are literally telling you publicly that they are doing it and you need to be blind and deaf not to really see it.
The wokeness is directly impacting the quality. It is there.
I may be a Flag Pole Sitta, but I ain’t no fence sitter. You’re just wrong.
I’m going to make one final point on why THE MESSAGE matters. When George Lucas made his shitty prequels, he just made shitty movies. He didn’t do it intentionally, though he fundamentally seemed to misunderstand his own property and was desperate to make them more than they are and prove something about himself.
When Kathleen Kennedy seeks to make an Indiana Jones movie, she didn’t start off by asking what made Indiana Jones successful. I guarant-god-damn-tee she started off by asking herself how they can make it acceptable to modern social standards. I’m going to also guarantee toxic masculinity was discussed. Who did she pick to help write and star in the movie? A person who was brought into to update another male icon in James Bond. These things aren’t coincidences and they are telling you that’s the case. They admit they’re doing it and they’re proud of it.
When you start building your movie with stupid bullshit at the forefront of what you consider to be important, you are going to fail more often than not.
When the primary consideration is forcing a cinematic property into a modern zeitgeist a disaster is almost sure to follow. Sure there have always been shitty movies, politics and social considerations notwithstanding, but I canโt recall the systematic emasculation of central characters being a thing in times past and thatโs definitely a thing now.
They seem intent on wrecking the existing characters and replacing them with characters they find to be more palatable in a modern context and itโs just not working out for them. If they want to get out of their rut they should try writing some original nonsequal stuff but writing thatโs both original and good must be hard to come by.
The issue is, the politically motivated staff don’t have the creativity to make their own ideas.
Hey Glibs! Time to get up.
๐๐
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jZSPAp8kCl4
๐ถ๐ถ
Good morning, Sean! ๐โ
Good afternoon, GT; Good Morning, Sean.
Good morning, U! How are you today?
I got caught up on sleep I think.
๐๐ผ๐๐ผ
Today’s my sister’s birthday, so I’ll text her later to see if she’ll be home for me to drop by her gift after work. (They live a few miles south of my office.)
๐๐๐
Yay!
โBiden administration appeals ban on social media contactsโ
https://www.reuters.com/legal/biden-administration-appeals-ban-social-media-contacts-court-filing-2023-07-05/
Not surprising I suppose, theyโre not going to let this go easily.
“We had only the noblest of intentions – to save lives.” ๐
If that were true, they’d have been silencing the CDC, WHO, Pfizer, Moderna, and J&J.
Censorship:
When they do it it is an intolerable infringement of the people’s right to free speech in a democratic society.
When we do it it is a noble effort to save democracy from the dark forces of misinformation. .
When I do it, it’s because I don’t want to hear you repeating stupid anymore.
*Note, this was not directed at you, Grosspatzer, I was sticking to the established format.
NP, I really do bring the stupid.
I did not know you practiced censership. You’re a priest?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?
Mornin’ , reprobates!
Good morning, ‘patzie! How are you & yours today?
Livin’ the dream, how are you?
Even though Canuckistan has mostly stopped burning, we are still getting Air Quality Alerts, now for ozone. Also known as summer in the northeast.
What Ozone? I thought we ran out of that in the 90s.
There is so much opportunity for folk singers today, with all of the problems wrought by man but no one seems to be picking up on that.
Where have all the folk singers gone? Gone to politics, everyone…
Like CO2 and Afghanistan Freedom Fighters, it’s been rebranded as the enemy.
I’m good, thanks! Only minor complaint is that my old mime injury (right shoulder hyperextended at some point) has my right hand kinda numb this morning, making it a challenge to pull fuzzy loops through fuzzy loops making a new throw for the cats. (How pathetic am I? Don’t answer that.)
No more talk of Canadian wildfire smoke locally lately – mainly just heat or thunderstorms.
When did you fight an Old Mime?
๐ I…got nuthin’.
Good morning all.
My pregnant granddaughter and husband are visiting from Alaska. So good to see youngsters with their heads on right. IOW, they agree with me…
But then they have to leave, they talk of the future of living in a remote village but will always be outsiders.For the time being, however, they are enjoying the Last Frontier with modern conveniences.
Good times. I’m hoping to see grandchirren before it’s time to leave.