Joemala: Episode 195

by | Jul 26, 2023 | Joemala | 248 comments

 

I am the jaws that protect the realms of Joe. I am Commander.

Snuffle the crotch of Finnegan. She is well. I move on. I must make my patrol.

Strange hand touches my ears before I can smell it. Growl. Forest of hands. Some must be bitten.

Tall man takes my collar. Growl. I pee a little as warning. Chomp. His hand juice tastes of iron.

I am good dog. Joe is safe. I love Joe. His skin tastes like corn chips. I love corn chips.

“Commander!” woman says as I smell her. She is in heat. She must breed soon to have a litter this season. She pushes me away. I must see Joe. I run.

I bark and scratch door until I am let in. Must smell all. Karine is cocoa butter. Mama Jill is Scotchgard. Hunter smells bad. I growl at Hunter and then run to Joe. Joe smells good.

“And then I accept my plea deal and it all goes away,” Hunter says. I understand none of his words. He smells like nieces.

“My boy, my beautiful boy,” Joe says.

“What’s this about your lawyers trying to suppress evidence?” Karine asks. I whine and put my head in Joe’s lap. He rubs ears.

“Tell the press whatever you want,” Hunter says. “I’ll send the judge a painting after it is all over.”

“You can’t do that,” Mama Jill says. I can smell her anger.

“I’m a famous artist,” Hunter says. “Who wouldn’t want one of my paintings?”

I pad silently over to Karine and lick her leg. She giggles.

“It’s bribery, Dad,” Finnegan says. I bark in agreement.

“When is my vacation?” Joe asks no one. “I feel like I’ve been at work all summer.”

“Soon, dear,” Mama Jill says.

“You’re so good to me, Nelia,” Joe says. I whine. Too many words. I pick a fresh turn of the Oval and urinate loudly.

“Nelia was your first wife,” Finnegan says. “This is Jill.”

“Who’s Jill?” Joe asks. I whine. Fear and corn chips.

“Your second wife,” Hunter says.

“What happened to Nelia?” Joe asks. I go to stand beside him. I love him.

“She died, Joe,” Mama Jill says.

“What?” Joe asks. Crying. I stand up on the arm of his chair to taste the tears.

“There was a car accident,” Hunter says. He smells worse than before. I want him to leave. I growl.

Mama Jill hugs Joe. I bark bork bark bark.

“I don’t know who you are,” Joe says. “But you smell nice.”

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

248 Comments

  1. Common Tater

    “Mama Jill is Scotchgard. ”

    Which does smell a lot like astroglide.

    • John Nerfherder

      I’d ask how you know, but…

  2. The Late P Brooks

    It’s like a pee stream of consciousness.

    • Drake

      ☝️

    • Ownbestenemy

      A judge that thought about the plea? *faints*

      • The Other Kevin

        I didn’t see this coming. Maybe, just maybe, there is one person involved who is concerned with how bad this all looks.

    • The Other Kevin

      It will be interesting to see how they spin this. They were depending on riding “Hunter was investigated and has paid for his crimes” through the next election.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Corrupt MAGA judge persecuting the children of his political enemies. All Republicans will be required to denounce this, or else their own children will be considered fair game.

    • kinnath

      First white pill in some time.

    • Rebel Scum

      Clearly the gov’t is weaponized against Hunter Biden.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Wellity wellity wellity well…

    • kinnath

      https://www.cnn.com/politics/live-news/hunter-biden-tax-charges-hearing/index.html

      Prosecutors and defense agree to revised plea deal for Hunter Biden

      The Hunter Biden plea proceedings have restarted and the president’s son has agreed to a limited agreement that covers 2014 to 2019 and only includes conduct related to tax offenses, drug use and gun possession.

      President Joe Biden’s son will still plead guilty to the tax misdemeanors for 2017 and 2018, but the agreement will also cover his tax-related conduct for the three years prior.

      The two sides have agreed that this deal does not shield him from potential future charges.

      The proceedings are ongoing

      • kinnath

        12 min ago

        Hunter Biden tells court about foreign companies he worked for

        The judge is asking Hunter Biden a series of questions about the facts that are included in the charging documents.

        The judge asked Biden for the names of the foreign companies where he has worked.

        “The Ukrainian energy company was Burisma,” Biden said. Biden has also mentioned his work for a Chinese energy company, CEFC. His ties to that company have come under intense scrutiny by House Republicans.

        The judge asked Biden, “You did know that you owed tax money, right?”

        Biden said, “Yes, your honor.”

      • Drake

        Damn. A new sweetheart deal hammered out in a few minutes. I’m sure I’d get the same treatment.

      • kinnath

        sounds like the gun charge is still part of the deal

      • MikeS

        The two sides have agreed that this deal does not shield him from potential future charges.

        This is important. Important to maintain the façade that he could, maybe actually face more serious charges.

      • Tundra

        Yeah, this is starting to look like theater.

      • Sensei

        And the prosecutor has pinky sworn that there are more investigations that can’t be revealed.

        Now, how serious those charges are also can’t be revealed…

      • Brochettaward

        It’s all stupid. On principle, shit should be resolved with these plea deals. They are obviously bad deals, but someone shouldn’t face the specter of endless investigations and charge after charge.

      • kinnath

        Commander covered the check.

        The deal is on!

      • Brochettaward

        Joe had the Secret Service cover Hunter’s hookers, so why the hell not?

    • juris imprudent

      Now wondering if his admissions in court can be used against him for other charges?

      • J. Frank Parnell

        “can” or “will”?

  3. Ownbestenemy

    He smells like nieces.

    Remember when the worst thing some president’s kids did were underaged smoking and drinking?

    Im done.

  4. Tundra

    He smells like nieces.

    Dude.

    • Bobarian LMD

      I snort-choked on that one.

  5. The Other Kevin

    This one was kind of depressing and disturbing. But still seems very real.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Sug’s cocaine scare is over; he’s back to recording and reporting.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    He’s a naughty boy

    “The Committee did not think continuing to bank NF [Nigel Farage] was compatible with Coutts given his publicly-stated views that were at odds with our position as an inclusive organisation,” the minutes added.

    “This was not a political decision but one centred around inclusivity and Purpose.”

    Nothing says inclusivity like de-banking those you disagree with.

    • DEG

      Tolerant people don’t tolerate the intolerant.

    • Not Adahn

      Coutts — a high-end private bank and wealth manager requiring clients to hold a minimum of £1 million ($1.29 million) in investments or borrowing, or £3 million in savings

      Much inclusive.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      And non-political.

    • Drake

      Exclusion in the name of inclusion. Alison Rose managed to cram her entire head up her ass.

    • Not Adahn

      And of course, they apologized about leaking a false and defamatory story about Farage to the BBC– but insist on their righteousness about the debanking itself.

    • John Nerfherder

      Horseshit. It was absolutely political.

      Besides which, it doesn’t matter. A bank is not a baker.

    • Homple

      “She will be a loss, having worked her way up the ranks and championed diversity and inclusion in the sector with a huge focus on getting more women in financial services.”

      Not sure that a bank CEO who bans a customer for his political views and talks about his account with the national media is much of a loss.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “Sadly Missed”

  7. DEG

    He smells like nieces.

    Huh

  8. Tonio

    “Snuffle the crotch of Finnegan. She is well. I move on. I must make my patrol.”

    Shades of “A Boy and His Dog.”

  9. Trigger Hippie

    After Commander is retired I demand a crossover with Subaru Horror Theater Dog.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Aha!

    President Joe Biden ‘s dog Commander bit or otherwise attacked Secret Service personnel at least 10 times between October 2022 and January, including one incident that required a hospital visit by the injured law enforcement officer, according to records from the Department of Homeland Security.

    The conservative watchdog group Judicial Watch on Tuesday released nearly 200 pages of Secret Service records that it obtained through a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit. The group said it filed suit after the agency, a division of DHS, “failed to respond adequately” to its request last December for records about biting incidents involving the purebred German shepherd. The group said it filed the request after receiving a tip about Commander’s behavior.

    Commander is the second dog of Biden’s to behave aggressively, including biting Secret Service personnel and White House staff. They eventually sent the dog, a German shepherd named Major, to live with friends in Delaware after those incidents.

    The puzzle pieces fall into place.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      When I got bit by a dog, the owner’s insurance company paid my emergency room bill. I could have held out for pain and suffering or some such thing, but I’m not litigious. Anyway, is Biden’s insurance policy paying for these dog bites, or are the taxpayers? I’m betting on the latter.

      • Sean

        Worker’s comp?

      • John Nerfherder

        We are his insurance policy.

    • Bobarian LMD

      live with friends in Delaware

      Euphemism.

      The DNC announces that Joe Biden will not be seeking re-election after his term. He is annoucing his retirement and will be “living with friends in Delaware”.

      Kamala Harris will euthanized just prior to the President’s departure.

  11. Fourscore

    Looks like neither a Major or a Commander can be trusted.

    Dump ’em, Joe, get a General and see if he/she will screw up.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Damn. A new sweetheart deal hammered out in a few minutes. I’m sure I’d get the same treatment.

    “Let’s not bicker about ‘oo swindled ‘oo.”

    • The Gunslinger

      Nice!

    • Tundra

      Lol. Well played.

    • PutridMeat

      I love the BANG! BANG! BANG! “OPEN UP, POLICE!!!!”

      Really doesn’t sound like ‘we just want to talk’, sounds like a hopped up goon trying to use an implied threat to coerce compliance. Good the dude kept his thinking brain in charge of his simian brain.

    • Nephilium
  13. The Late P Brooks

    Not sure that a bank CEO who bans a customer for his political views and talks about his account with the national media is much of a loss.

    Women make better managerial decisions than men. Everybody knows that.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Retro

    Police in Billings, Montana, are investigating after a musician who performs with Lyle Lovett and His Large Band said he found a noose hanging from a light pole near the group’s tour bus.

    Band member Charles Rose, who is White, said he found the noose Sunday morning, ahead of the group’s performance in the city that night.

    The multi-racial band, led by the Grammy-winning Lovett, is currently on a summer tour, according to its website.

    “I just went back out to our bus to get something and saw this hanging a few feet from the bus door. I don’t recall seeing it when we first arrived this morning,” Rose said in a Facebook post that included a picture of a noose. “Scary. Needless to say, I took it down.”

    Was he literally shaking?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Sure he did…uh huh…now let’s pull the camera footage and shoot down this likely publicity stunt.

    • R.J.

      That sure looks like it is attached to some kind of latch or switch. He may have just disadvantaged a short person who needed that pull rope.

    • invisible finger

      That was for any audience member that was bored to suicide after another boring Lyle Lovett concert.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Charles Rose, who is White

      We’re capitalizing “white” now? I thought we only capitalized Black.

    • R.J.

      1. Yes, that is outrageous. And the government, who caused her death, should pay for it.
      2. The cost is too damn high. I can move that coffin cross country in the Mega Jeep for $5,000, and pocket $4,500 profit.

      • Sensei

        We need to do a modern version of Smokey and the Bandit.

        This time with a body and some family member with just enough time left who wants to see their loved one in Arlington.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        Weekend an Sensei’s?

    • Animal

      That is kind of baffling. Mrs. Animal’s Grandmom died in Denver; there was a viewing there, then the body was shipped to Baltimore, where Grandmom had a plot waiting next to one of her husbands. Mrs. Animal doesn’t remember the exact cost but thinks it was under a grand.

  15. kinnath

    https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/justice-department/hunter-biden-expected-plead-guilty-criminal-tax-case-rcna96232

    July 26, 2023, 4:00 AM CDT / Updated July 26, 2023, 12:18 PM CDT
    By Phil McCausland and Tom Winter
    WILMINGTON, Del. — Hunter Biden pleaded not guilty to federal charges Wednesday, a surprise development after a disagreement arose with prosecutors over a gun charge.

    The president’s son had been expected to plead guilty to two tax charges under a deal with the government, but the judge did not agree to that plea deal and is seeking additional information. The parties will reconvene at a future date.

    • kinnath

      https://www.cnn.com/politics/live-news/hunter-biden-tax-charges-hearing/index.html

      19 min ago
      JUST IN: Hearing ends with Hunter Biden plea deal on hold
      From CNN’s Tierney Sneed, Marshall Cohen, Kara Scannell, Holmes Lybrand

      US District Judge Maryellen Noreika said she was not ready to accept the plea deal, and the hearing ended with Hunter Biden pleading not guilty for the time being.

      The judge asked the sides to file additional briefs explaining the plea deal’s legal structuring.

      • WTF

        Kicking the can down the road hoping people are distracted by something else when she has to revisit it.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Why does it cost $60k to transport a body to from CA to VA?

    Did they transport the body in a B2?

  17. Brochettaward

    Broandria thrived this morning. You are welcome.

    • R.J.

      Last!

      • R.J.

        Darn I need to post that at 2:59. Premature Lasting.

  18. Mojeaux

    My little Russian cross stitch designers aren’t so fluent in English, but still hilarious. I wonder what her neighbor did to make her create that.

    • MikeS

      hahaha!

    • Seguin

      Snuffled the sausage, sounds like.

  19. Tundra

    I never liked her much, but RIP Sinead.

    • Sensei

      She had many issues. I’m assuming this was self inflicted…?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        At the bottom of the page:
        “ TV show tricks 13-year-old girl into thinking she will meet her long-lost mother”
        https://celebrity.red/buzz/tv-show-tricks-13-year-old-girl

        Introduces her to cross dressing comedian instead. Whoever green lighted that shit needs to be keelhauled.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        And by keelhauled mean SEA SMITH KEELHAUL YOU!!!

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        I hate being so cynical but I can see a publicist doing something like this to get their client’s name in the papers.

        My client is dead. Nevermind, my client is still living. Come to the nearest state fair to see them perform their one hit.

      • Tundra

        Looks like it.

        O’Conner changed her name to Shuhada’ Sadaqat in 2018 after she decided to convert to Islam.

        The Irish songstress hitmaker in January 2022 lost her 17-year-old son, who she said, “decided to end his earthly struggle today and is now with God.”

        “Like, how has a seventeen year old traumatised young person WHO WAS ON SUICIDE WATCH in Tallaght Hospital’s Lynn Ward been able to go missing???” O’Connor wrote in a since deleted tweet.

        As she continued to grieve the loss, O’Connor’s management team released a statement announcing she was cancelling all her scheduled gigs and will not be performing for the rest of the year.

        “I’ve decided to follow my son. There is no point living without him,” she said of Shane, 17, whose body was found Jan. 7, a day after he went missing from suicide watch at an Irish hospital.

        Good lord.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        What a sad story. RIP.

      • Ownbestenemy

        So she didn’t want to be the only Irish singer to go out on their own terms huh?

  20. Fatty Bolger

    https://twitter.com/mehdirhasan/status/1684245996132245504

    Mehdi Hasan
    @mehdirhasan
    Imagine if liberals or the Dems had a nationwide messaging apparatus, an actual propaganda arm, which pumped out Jared Kushner’s name and alleged misdeeds daily, 100s of times. Then you start to understand the messaging imbalance in this country & how GOP gets away with so much.

    • R.J.

      Wow. Projecting much?

      • John Nerfherder

        Hasan is a special kind of stupid.

      • R.J.

        You have to pay someone to be that stupid. Definitely a schill.

      • Rebel Scum

        Or merely dishonest.

    • Nephilium

      /looks at CNN, MSNBC, NPR, etc.

      So… which one is the Conservative/Republican nationwide messaging apparatus?

      • Ownbestenemy

        All of them, its a vast right wing conspiracy /dusts off HRC

      • PutridMeat

        (sound of Velcro separating)

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Nooo!!!!

        Though I must say your alias is appropriate for the comment.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I sometimes wish I had such a blissful lack of self-awareness but he’s just a lying pig.

    • MikeS

      In reply to Mehdi:

      MARTINI
      @Martini_v8
      liberals do – the leftists don’t – this is the difference – we have a centrist right & a far right w identity politics parading around as a “left” – the US is the destroyer of leftist Govt’s across the globe of course we can’t have a true left in America

      Tim Low
      @tlow
      It’s true. There’s not much of a true left in America. I think the point is that the liberal coalition such as it is, doesn’t have anywhere near the propaganda muscle of republicans (including fascists and white nationalists) working in concert with Murdoch Media, AM radio, etc.

      Wow. How far left do you have to be to believe shit like this? Wow.

      • juris imprudent

        They have to fuck at 90 degree angles.

      • WTF

        Love the “etc.” because literally the only examples they have are AM radio and a cable news channel.

    • John Nerfherder

      David Grusch tells Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez that he will provide her with specific names and locations of unacknowledged UFO Special Access Programs in a classified setting.

      This shit is so ridiculous. If you needed more proof that politicians are nothing more than hired actors…

    • John Nerfherder

      And the replies of the people eating it up that shit like it’s chocolate mousse…

      *starts searching for shacks in Montana*

  21. Tundra

    Syphilis Emergency Looms in the US as Drugs Run Low

    Oh look:

    Pfizer Inc. is the only company that makes penicillin G benzathine for the US, selling it under the brand name Bicillin L-A.

    Once you see how this works, it is really quite impressive.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      That reminds me. I gotta pee. I hope it doesn’t burn.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’re officially out of ideas, well good ones anyway.

    • Bobarian LMD

      When they say “prepare” I’m thinking I might want some lube.

    • R.J.

      Meh. Wake me up when we get to the 1980s again.

    • John Nerfherder

      I’m okay with this. Crush the Brits and Germans, drive them before you, hear the lamentations of their women pensions.

      • invisible finger

        Exactly. This is how you clear out malinvestment . A few dozen banks over exposed on CRE can die (and I’m willing to bet most of those bankers supported lockdowns). If we’re smart, dozens of new banks can be established. The birth-death model applies to financial institutions as much as any other business.

    • PutridMeat

      Why? I mean why “dammit”, “Fuckhead”?

      I’ve thought of interest rates as being way too low and discouraging saving and encouraging living in debt, both at the government and personal level. Admittedly, I have the selfish benefit of getting return on cash reserves rather than being forced to spend spend spend or throw cash into an overvalued stock market to avoid it just bleeding away via the inflation tax.

      • Tundra

        Simply selfish.

        My business is affected by CRE activity. A shit ton of paper is coming due. No way these owners are gonna refinance and it’s gonna throw that world into turmoil. Not to mention what it will do to the regionals who hold the paper.

      • John Nerfherder

        I get it. But was it going to be any different in CRE with or without that quarter point?

        LaGarde, on the other hand, is definitely cursing Jerry today. She’s got very little balance sheet left to suppress yields. The Bundesbank is functionally bankrupt and all financial hell is about to break loose in Europe.

        I expect my business is going to take a beating as well. Construction doesn’t fare well in a credit crisis.

      • Tundra

        Probably not. But this is looking like it’s gonna continue which will necessarily slow development.

        But who knows – with all the insanity this may be the least of our troubles.

      • John Nerfherder

        If Powell is successful, we’ll be the recipient of capital fleeing the EU and the US will reindustrialize.

        The transition is going to be painful though.

      • Tundra

        Sure. We’ve been through the shit before and bounced back. But at 55 I am conditioned to expect (and prepare for) the worst.

      • invisible finger

        So painful the streets of San Francisco will lose most of their junkies.

      • John Nerfherder

        There’s no saving San Francisco.

        Or Baltimore, or New Orleans, or probably Philadelphia, they’re all fucked.

      • Pine_Tree

        Can you please explain, briefly? I’m being serious. This is one of those areas I’m not well-versed in. What would you predict to happen and why (brief)?

      • John Nerfherder

        The simplest way to explain it is that all of the central banks look like shit on their balance sheets.

        Up until recently, the Fed was coordinating policy with the ECB and BOJ in order to not collapse each other.

        Powell hated the policy and wanted to end it earlier but COVID happened and he was forced to monetize the federal debt, thus injecting more trillions more into the system and propping up European banks in the process and giving them political cover to print as well.

        Now Powell is ramping rates in order to attract capital and drain the offshore dollar markets (which are draining anyway because of DC’s idiotic weaponization of the financial system). The trick is to absorb all of those dollars coming home before they push us into hyperinflation.

        As a secondary effect, the ECB has to raise rates in order to compete with the Fed or capital flees their system for higher returns in the US. It’s pushing their banks over the edge and they are much closer to the edge than we are.

        Functionally, somebody’s banks and currency have to fail now and Powell is attempting to make sure it isn’t us. We will lose banks, it’s unavoidable, but the objective is to not lose the whole financial system.

        Europe is staring at full economic collapse.

      • Pine_Tree

        I’m not gonna pretend to grok all of that, but thanks. I think I get some of it.

      • John Nerfherder

        There’s a bunch of central banks on a deserted island and they’re running out of food capital.

        Thoughts of cannibalism and murder are setting in.

      • invisible finger

        Slightly OT, but I love how many people think office towers can easily be converted to apartments.

      • Nephilium

        The next step of companies embracing WFH. LAO (Live At Office)!

        We’ll just add a kitchenette per floor, and add showers to the existing restrooms. It’ll be a breeze! Who wouldn’t want to sleep safely ensconced in their cubicle walls?

      • UnCivilServant

        Wait, people actually think that?

      • invisible finger

        I suppose you’re right, politicians really are untermensch.

      • Tundra

        4. The less you know about something, the easier it looks.

        One of my favorite Iron Laws

      • John Nerfherder

        Nope. Seen those projects go haywire multiple times.

      • PutridMeat

        Gotcha – hope you weather it well. I suspect bad things were coming down the pike for commercial real estate regardless of interest rates, though those can certainly hasten/magnify any extant issues.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I’m with you. I see this as a necessary thing. Powell is a fucking hero. (OK, maybe that goes too far.)

      • John Nerfherder

        He is a hero. He is making it too costly for DC to go to war. He’s crushing the Davos crowd. He’s trying to save the dollar against the wishes of the Biden administration.

        We’re watching our central bank waging a financial war with our corrupt political leadership.

    • Sensei

      This was telegraphed about as much as humanly possible by the Fed.

    • Gender Traitor

      They sure seem dead-set on clinging to that 2% inflation goal come Hell or high water. (We’ll probably get both.)

      • Sensei

        Let’s not forget the additional never mandated by Congress contradictory “full employment” mandate.

  22. Ownbestenemy

    This Schabusiness trial is wild.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Imagine if liberals or the Dems had a nationwide messaging apparatus, an actual propaganda arm, which pumped out Jared Kushner’s name and alleged misdeeds daily, 100s of times.

    Kushner is small potatoes. They’re too busy doing that with TRUMP!

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Why? I mean why “dammit”, “Fuckhead”?

    It might have something to do with house hunting.

    • John Nerfherder

      My neighbors who are trying to sell their house are certainly not going to like this.

      And the drop in BTC over the past week seems to have foreshadowed the decision.

      • John Nerfherder

        The photos are a nice touch.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        Tear down and massive cleanup for $550,000k…

      • B.P.

        “Tour with a buyer’s agent

        We’ll find a local expert to take you on a private tour of 29577 Loomis Way.”

        I might have to head over there just to hear the all-time greatest realtor fibs. Comes furnished! Retro kitchen! Move-in ready! Perfect for creative types!

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        A bit hard to hear the realtor’s spiel through the Haz Mat suit. But do it. And write a post on it.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Oh dear, a sad untold story in there.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Best touch?

        $30 HOA fee.

        I wonder what kind of service they provide?

      • The Last American Hero

        Mine is $20 a month. You get lawn service for the neighborhood entrance, 2 maintained hiking trails in the community forest, and seasonal banners hung from the streetlights.

      • robc

        1.9 acres in Golden?

        You might be getting the house for “free”.

      • robc

        Looked at map, its well outside of Golden. So ignore my comment.

      • Tundra

        No, that’s still Golden, believe it or not.

      • Tundra

        It’s up Coal Creek Canyon. Nice area. You can find lots and older houses for a lot less than the metro.

    • Tundra

      Not really. I signed another lease and I have a bunch of cash. As I say above, it’s mostly business.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Thats why our near future is: rent to the teens the NV house while we shack up in a cheap apartment in KY for a bit unless something amazing rolls by

    • Tundra

      Why are EV fires so hard to extinguish?

      • UnCivilServant

        Because the batteries can self-ignite and self-oxidize. They don’t need external inputs once the reaction kicks off.

      • John Nerfherder

        Wet-cell batteries

        Once they start to break down, it quickly becomes a catastrophic event. Add water to the mix and it gets even more exciting.

      • Sensei

        One of the reasons is they are self oxidizing.

    • UnCivilServant

      What else was on the ship?

      I mean, there’s plenty flammable on a ship before the cargo is loaded, but was it only carrying cars?

      • R.J.

        175,000 boxes of strike anywhere matches.

      • Nephilium

        I blame Magic City.

      • R.J.

        I am not worthy, oh Trivia Master!

      • Nephilium

        This is just somewhat local to me (and at a previous job when I had to go into the office, I would swing by a couple of breweries in Barberton). It’s depressing at times to look back and see how bustling and industrious the rust belt was, especially when you compare it to what it looks like today.

    • Mojeaux

      25 … vehicles … were electric

      Yeah, that fire’s not going to be out for a while.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Why are boats carrying cars suddenly bursting into flame?

    • R.J.

      Because it’s too hard for a car to carry multiple boats?

    • John Nerfherder

      The Great Boat-Car War begun it has.

    • Sensei

      They’ve done it before EVs, but that gets less clicks.

      Same reason everything bad that happens with the weather is now “climate change”.

      • Tundra

        FTA:

        Earlier this month, two New Jersey firefighters were killed and five injured battling a blaze on a cargo ship carrying hundreds of vehicles. There were no electric cars on that vessel the operator said.

        A fire destroyed thousands of luxury cars, some electric with lithium-ion batteries, on a ship off the coast of Portugal’s Azores islands in February last year.

      • Sensei

        Yes. That was local to me.

        If they can conclusively prove that EVs are causing statistically more fires on ships I’m all all in on safeguards and prevention. But I read this stuff fairly closely and haven’t seen it.

        They are taking more precautions with them including lower charge levels.

      • Seguin

        Just prepping the battlespace for getting rid of personal use EVs after they’ve banned all the ICE ones.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Natural causes, sometimes people ships just explode.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      They have information on Hillary Clinton.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Why are boats carrying cars suddenly bursting into flame?

      Climate change.

      Well maybe Climate change hysteria.

    • invisible finger

      There were probably tons of coal below deck that were going to the electricity plants in order to fuel the cars.

    • Rebel Scum

      Climate Change.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    This was telegraphed about as much as humanly possible by the Fed.

    It definitely seemed like a foregone conclusion. I can’t imagine very many people were actually surprised. Other than Elizabeth Warren, maybe. She told them not to.

    • Tundra

      Scruffy off the top rope!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Hundred bucks we get stories that he is too old and should resign in 5…4…3…2

      *he is too old, they are all too old.

      • The Other Kevin

        They are. But both parties are stuck with them. They can keep running incumbents who are guaranteed to win, or try to run someone younger and take the chance of losing. And so they all hold on to the job like a Pope.

    • kinnath

      We can trade one turtle for one lump and keep the current Senate balance.

    • MikeS

      Goddamit I wish all these old fuckers go home and try to act like normal humans and spoil their grandkids or something. Long past time for the Boomers to let go of the power levers.

      • Drake

        They aren’t even Boomers. These are people born DURING WW2.

      • MikeS

        Good point. OK, the Boomers can go around with wheel chairs, pick up the Greatest Generation members, and they can all get the fuck out of DC. And be sure to take Joe and Donny with them.

      • kinnath

        The boomers cover 18 years. I am dead in the middle. At 66, I am still working full time and performing at a high level (according to my boss).

        Nine years older than me, the first boomers, would be 75. There is solid chance that I will still be working full time nine years from now.

        Nine years younger than me, the last boomers, would be 57. Few, if any, retire in the late 50s (and if they do, they generally start something else up somewhere else).

        So, stop shitting on boomers. We’re not all decrepit.

      • MikeS

        Calm down, Boomer.

      • Drake

        The ones born during the war are “the Silent Generation” except for these sleazeballs. My parents are of that generation. Known for working hard and not causing a fuss.

        Certainly is time for some actual representation in government instead of these old grifters. A new generation of grifters is more likely.

      • MikeS

        Whatever the hell the generation is called, the septuagenarians and octogenarians need to go home and let the younger generations make the decisions. If they really must stay working like kinnath is going to, they can start yet another think tank and get their power trip there.

      • Seguin

        Yeah, it’s AOC’s turn!

    • Drake

      That looks like a guy not long for this world.

      Need a lotto on who goes first – Cocaine Mitch, Feinstein, Lump, or Biden.

      • Not Adahn

        Biden will go on until the Animatronic Engineers Union goes on strike.

    • Sean

      o.O

    • kinnath

      looks like he sprung a leak

      • Drake

        Like the tin-man, he just needs some oil in his joints.

    • UnCivilServant

      Naw, just arrest the Eurocrats and annex the territory.

    • R.J.

      RJ banned from Europe in 3…2…1…

    • Fatty Bolger

      $8 for a three year visa. More of a nuisance than a real burden.

      • kinnath

        The ratchet goes one way.

        The distance from no visa to a cheap visa is enormous. After that, each additional restriction is just one little click away.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Well, we started it, no?

      • Fatty Bolger

        Yeah, we did, with the ESTA system. This is probably their tit-for-tat response.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I remember when France did away with US visas; 1989 IIRC, pour la Bicentenaire?

    • DEG

      Looking at the list of countries involved, it’s only Schengen Zone countries plus some soon to join the Schengen Zone countries. The UK and Ireland are not in the Schengen Zone. Plus some Balkan countries (Albania, Serbia, Bosnia, Montenegro, Macedonia).

      I suspect this is payback for the US not extending Visa free travel to some soon-to-join the Schengen Zone countries (Romania, Bulgaria, and Cyprus).

    • The Last American Hero

      Meh, just tell the customs guy to not be so racist and keep walking.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    My business is affected by CRE activity. A shit ton of paper is coming due. No way these owners are gonna refinance and it’s gonna throw that world into turmoil. Not to mention what it will do to the regionals who hold the paper.

    That is the inevitable result of fifteen years (or more) of artificially stupidly low interest rates. A lot of misdirected investment needs to get shaken out. That’s easy for me to say from my comfy couch.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    If they can conclusively prove that EVs are causing statistically more fires on ships I’m all all in on safeguards and prevention. But I read this stuff fairly closely and haven’t seen it.

    They are taking more precautions with them including lower charge levels.

    I assume all of those cars, electric or internal combustion are shipped with batteries in place. Rough seas, a poorly bolted down battery, some other potential electrical short…

      • John Nerfherder

        Yes. Millions upon millions of square meters of layered ignition devices.

        All it takes is one insulator breakdown and the whole thing goes thermal.

      • Sensei

        Tesla got “burned” during its run of roadsters and is quite fire conscious. They utilize cylindrical cells encased in fire resistant foam. However, it has zero serviceability. So their defect rate has to be very low.

        Many other OEMs use pouch cells with fire breaks between groups of cells. It’s cheaper and allows better density and serviceability. To my untrained non-engineer eye it would seem to have a much higher risk of a runaway thermal event.

    • Tundra

      I’ve done it. Very effective, but the water thing is retarded. You need electrolytes. Period.

      • Sensei

        I knew that was the perfect Tundra clickbait!

      • Tundra

        Haha!

        It is a fun thing to do if you need a kick in the ass (which most of us do periodically).

      • Nephilium

        But did you add enough Borax?

      • R.J.

        I just had some chocolate covered sugar free pecans from Bucky’s that my daughter bought me. Those promoted some serious weight loss. Probably 4 pounds so far.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Don’t worry. Joe’s going to wave his magic wand and convert all those empty office buildings into affordable housing.

    Praise Brandon!

    • R.J.

      Brandon be praised
      He gives us some freedoms when we are good
      He punishes us when we disobey

  30. The Late P Brooks

    “We’re not putting this f—er out. Look at it,” said one responding officer during the February F-150 Lightning fire.

    First responders can be heard on video expressing concern about how much water is needed to put out EV fires and whether a special foam would be required. They also questioned the viability and safety of electric vehicles.

    “They have to put like a whole f—ing lake on it to put them out,” the same officer said during the Feb. 4 event.

    Nonsense. Round up the doubters.

    • Rebel Scum

      Hawt.

    • Fatty Bolger

      I doubt this is anything new, when I worked for an insurer that processed claims over 20 years ago, we already had an incredibly expensive software system that consolidated, paid, and reconciled bills, and identified claims for rejection for various reasons.

      • Sensei

        Yup. For example, an “algorithm” determined the claim falls outside the policy period.

        In this case the criteria is medical and would appear to need to be signed off by a physician. Doesn’t mean the denial isn’t valid, just that it was determined by a machine and confirmed by a human.

        Still not going to be fun from a PR process. And some of the expert systems are out to screw the policyholder.

        https://www.millerandzois.com/car-accidents/insurance-claims-settlements/colossus/

  31. robc

    If you want to know why “top” schools are going away from test scores, this explains it: https://twitter.com/MattBruenig/status/1683460711312416769

    The best way to only accept the very, very rich.

    The big deal is that academic standards are pretty flat across the board (relative to test score). Non-academic standards are flat up to 90th percentile of income. Then they skyrocket. Its not even a marginal effect.

    • robc

      And this is why they don’t want to use “income” as a proxy to create diversity.

    • robc

      But how does it taste?

      • Not Adahn

        Stingy.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Probably awful.

    • Nephilium

      Layered drinks have been around for a while. Other than bartenders showing off, and patrons being assholes, the only ones I regularly recall being ordered are slippery nipples and bloody brains.

      • Bobarian LMD

        We used to drink “oil slicks” which were just cheap harsh whiskey on top of ice cold water.

        The water would chase away the burn/aftertaste that makes those whiskeys bad. If you used a hanky, you’d end up with a razor-sharp transition between the whiskey and water.