Now, I’ve had a lot of car sex, I mean, sex in cars. In parks, in parking lots, the drive-in, turn-offs in the middle of nowhere, the cul-de-sac of an abandoned suburban housing tract, and once, a dam. It’s not great, but in high school, you pretty much take what you can get, right?
But one thing you couldn’t do without is a Sexy Times Mixtape, you just couldn’t leave it to chance with 80s radio. Nothing can melt an erection faster than Bruce Willis or dry a vaginal canal more thoroughly than Anne Murray, that snow-bound monster of mediocrity.
The important thing is to really decide on an anchor song early. And I never made a Sexy Mix Tape without this banger:
“TIL THE NIGHT CLOSES IN!”
Just that bass line gives me a semi.
And Foreigner. The longing in this song in this song is pure boner sauce:
Or this languid build of passion on display here (Warning: not for use by premature ejaculators):
But I want to hear from you, our readers. What makes up your Seduction Cassette?
OK, one car sex story.
In high school, a much thinner SugarFree managed to have sex in a 1979 MG Midget. With the top up. I’m still not sure what eldritch geometry allowed this to happen. One big point in my favor was this my girlfriend was quite short, and on the dance squad, so very flexible. In the passenger seat, she climbed on top of me, the female superior position as it were. The act was… constrained? measured? exhibited a certain… economy?
Later, she did admit to almost getting to fifth base with the shifter. Which did not ignite anything within her, sadly. It was a few years before I found myself a proper butt slut.
Not mine, but the same make and color.
” I mean, sex in cars.”
Glad you made that clear.
It is still not clear to me.
What’s this? Did you get a cease-and-desist order from the White House?
They found his cocaine. He had to take a break.
In the back of a 1976 Ford Pinto station wagon. I tinted the windows and added mood lights to the headliner.
Classy touches. Given the vehicle you could have even gone with a fireplace.
“Later, she did admit to almost getting to fifth base with the shifter.”
I knew a girl who actually did that.
*snort* fifth base.
I learn something new every Sugar Free article.
The whole paragraph is pure poetry.
My first car was a Midget, but older; a ’65. Good times.
With proper bumpers. The newer ones were a crime against humanity.
Not in a car but in a dorm room, I once had a guy try to get cozy with me while playing “Alice’s Restaurant” (which I hasten to add was old by then) on his turntable.
He was not successful.
He wanted to get anything he wants.
What? No Bad Company, Feel Like Making Love?
Tightest space would be BMW E30.
The Starfish album from the Church in the back seat of my shit box Dodge.
Excellent. Someone did a Tweet recently for a no song skip album. Starfish was my first thought.
They are doing aUS tour this year. I might have to see them.
This is the first tour I haven’t seen in many years. They keep putting out new stuff and their shows are always top notch. I think they are down to one original member, but he wrote most of the songs.
I still love this one
And I was at the show when they filmed the video. Holy shit am I old.
Reptile is great. Antenna and Hotel Womb are still my favorites from that album.
“The Starfish” – 5th base?
Speaking from experience, girls do not respond well to W.A.S.P.
Although a certain cryptid might…
Also from experience, a ’72 green Ford LTD is not the car to pick up your date in. Roomy, but not cool.
From the sidebar on that link.
I wonder if those ladies listen to WASP.
On the rare occasion that Styx’s Lady is playing on the radio, the wife and I sing “Lady” in Jerry Lewis voice. That should end all romantic connotations.
As far as romantic connotations go, you lost me at “the wife and I”.
Kidding!
*Ow!*
Foreplay to Van Morrison singing Tupelo Honey is (or at least it was) sublime.
RX-7
CRX
Scirocco
Volvo wagon (GOAT)
So many mix tapes, I can hardly remember the specific songs. The Church, the Cure, DD, Def Lepperd (gf loved Photograph – you gotta do what you gotta do), Spandau, OMD. The usual suspects.
Sweet Midget, too, SF! I dig those. By the time I got the Spitfire though, the days of tiny car sex were in the rear view mirror.
Thanks for a really fun one!
I remember having them by genre. Pop, rock, rock with metal ballads, etc.
The Cult had a few back seat favorites.
The Rain and Phoenix from the Love album.
She Sells Sanctuary made it on to many of my mixes.
No sex until marriage. Missionary position. Under the sheets. With the lights out.
Kinky.
Your mixed tape has sermons and hymnals on it?
Stryper
Petra
Actually, that was someone else.
I grew up in the 70s.
So, abstinance-only?
ah, no
Sotomayor’s wealth has skyrocketed since joining Supreme Court, raising ethics concerns
In 2007, the sum of Sotomayor’s total investments was between $50,001 and $115,000, according to her financial disclosure form for that year. She reported only two assets: a checking account and a savings account, both at Citibank.
Since then, Sotomayor’s net worth has skyrocketed, putting her among the ranks of the nation’s millionaires. In 2021, her investments totaled somewhere between $1.5 million and $6.4 million, according to financial disclosure forms. Last year, investments were roughly the same, in between $1.6 million and $6.6 million
One reason for the sharp increase in Sotomayor’s investments and overall wealth is the money she’s made from writing books. On Tuesday, the Associated Press reported that her staff has often “prodded” public institutions that have hosted the justice to buy her memoir or children’s books — works that have made her at least $3.7 million since joining the Supreme Court and continue to rake in six-figure royalty payments annually.
Grift. It’s what’s for dinner.
Book deals seem to be a great way to launder money. Does anyone actually buy those books to read?
She learned it from Barry O.
Wonder what Teddy Roosevelt got for his books? He wrote 47 books according to Wiki.
Just the interest groups and political parties that want to funnel money to a particular person without a direct line.
Pallets of books get bought and thrown away.
Amazon shows her three kids books with 5 star ratings and “teacher’s choice” labels. I would not be surprised if these are being foisted on kids (using public dollars).
That would make me want to prevent kids from being exposed to those books.
Instead of paying a 6-figure appearance fee, they buy a bunch of books which wind up in the landfill.
Not all of them.
Some get pulped and turned into post-consumer products.
3.7 million in royalties. That must put her on the NY Times best seller list right?
“…post-consumer products.”
Bumwad comes to mind.
The writing a book is the classier version of the Hunter art grift, it’s a step below setting up a foundation though.
Good to see that Iowa has made it to the Top Stories at Google News.
I had a ’76 Midget that I couldn’t even drive with the top up, let alone fornicate.
I did have an ’89 Dodge Dakota Convertible that I had consummated in with the top both up and down.
I had no idea they made such a thing. Interesting.
Those Dakota convertibles were great. I salute you and your vehicle choice!
Seeing paradise by the dashboard’s light, eh?
Loreena McKennitt mix CD
Speaking of boner fuel.
The Jesus and Mary Chain with Hope Sandoval.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfEvgf2DdTQ
Yes.
Also just Hope:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z97ZpMMhhQY&ab_channel=spookyvidz
Spectacular.
That was boring as hell.
Wrong.
But you probably won’t like this, either.
Timeloose probably will, though.
I’ve seem many video from them and have never been impressed.
I’d data Fiona Apple or Tory Amos any day over Mazzy Star.
I’d data Fiona Apple or Tory Amos any day
These euphemisms are getting positively computational.
data
how the fuck did that wind up there
I’d data either of them any day as well. I imagining dataing is some star trek unemotional android sex reference…??>>???
Tori Amos – “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
https://youtu.be/vB2c7_vyBSM
Thanks
I do. I’m now down a rat hole listening to a Massive Attack, Hope, and Burial collaboration.
If you don’t like Lo Fi noise I would not listen it’s a 10min or more song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuC9oYaiagI
When you said seduction and mixtapes, I thought you had this in mind.
That was one song that every fellow teen would sing or at least grove to regardless of the click or music they liked.
Woops I thought it was a Rob Base Takes Two.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phOW-CZJWT0
Since then, Sotomayor’s net worth has skyrocketed
Clean living pays off.
Ministry Psalm 69
Ministry takes a special girl to like. My first GF was a fan.
Very much on the crazy end of the spectrum. Fun, but in the end not worth the insanity and effort to pursue further.
Sex is best when it’s one on one
In a North Hollywood men’s restroom in the park?
I thought that was Beverly Hills.
I had a Blaupunk 6 disc changer in my ’77 Impala. I would gauge the disc by the passenger and select accordingly. When I got rid of that car to buy my Omni GLH (the Blaupunk moved to the Dodge), things had to move outdoors when it turned serious.
GLH == Goes Like Hell.
GLHS == Goes Like Hell Somemore
Saw one of those in the wild once, I was like “huh they do exist”
The best man in my wedding owned one.
I absolutely loved that car. Someone on here was talking about sloppy linkages the other day – a friend described my GLH shifter linkage as a stick in a bucket. That friend actually owns that car now. Unfortunately, it’s his project and has been for a decade and a half.
Datsun 200SX (sex is in the name!)
Also BMW Z3
Oh and also 1970s full sized Fords an Chevys, but you could put a waterbed in those.
Of course it was easier to rack up numbers back then because cars kept breaking down and needing to be replaced.
Back when odometers had five digits (plus the tenths). A car that rolled the odometer over was on its last legs.
One time my girlfriend’s car had a bad starter.
We went to our usual place, but she wanted to go home because she didn’t think she had enough gas to let it idle.
Long story short, I ended up push starting her car. (luckily it was a standard and a small hatchback)
she didn’t think she had enough gas to let it idle
I ended up push starting her car
These euphemisms are getting positively mechanical.
Baby got (hatch)back.
I like big trunks,
I cannot lie.
There were no problems with the hydraulics!
“And five — now, this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.” *
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Led_Zeppelin_IV
*This will air on TCM (!) on Saturday night.
From dedthred, “Holmes on Homes.” Nom nom nom. I loved that show.
According to dialog from the band, the most proper name for that album was “Symbols” but it really was like the thing the Artist formerly known as Prince did.
Best part is he played Kashmir.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083929/goofs/?item=gf3087645
I prefer that Rat was clueless and thought Kashmir was good enough. Not that they wanted to use LZ4 but couldn’t license it.
https://twitter.com/billybinion/status/1678934250299506692
There is a supreme court case this year that will hopefully improve the situation.
do you have the name of the court case?
Culley v. Marshall
https://www.scotusblog.com/case-files/cases/culley-v-marshall/
Thank you.
I cannot read that thread. My mood is foul enough already.
84 Audi 5000S lemon, but tricked out with leather, power everything, sunroof, and dark tint. The back seat was basically king sized.
80’s rock ballads, Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue, Never Say Goodbye by Bon Jovi, Love Bites by Def Leppard, etc. Good times.
I miss that car, I don’t miss the rock ballads.
You’re lookin’ kinda lonely, girl.
Would you like someone new to talk to?
Ah yeah, all right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iGwGBytz5c
I know a guy who looks just like the lead singer.
Obligatory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZKAa4kCARY
Truly obligatory.
Not something I’ve personally done (yes, I’m square) — but I’m a little surprised no one called out this one. If I were putting together a frisky time mix tape, that would likely be on it.
In a car? Probably a Honda Passport (rebadged Isuzu Rodeo)
Speaking of boner killers:
Your VP shares her thoughts on AI
This just has to be an act. Or some sort of bizarre performance art.
Xanax
https://twitter.com/HotepBadBanner/status/1679186410299850765
Perfect description.
And the student didn’t read the book, the Cliff’s Notes, the SparkNotes, the Wikipedia page, the TV Tropes page, the flyleaf of the book, or anything behind the blurb that Amazon shared or was printed on the back of the book.
Yep, doing everything possible to stretch it out with obvious stuff.
“AI is kind of a fancy thing. First of all, it’s two letters…”
https://frinkiac.com/caption/S09E14/195911
“Well, professor, if you can see your way to give me an ‘A’ I can make it worth your while, of you know what I mean.”
,
I can’t figure out why they keep giving her these chances to speak in public. I guess because she’s representing Joe, who’d be even worse?
Her gift is clearly in using her mouth for other than speaking.
On OMWC’s mix tape?
https://youtu.be/zWHjJt4833I
https://youtu.be/D1IOJs6H9qg
Maybe too old for OMWC, though.
Maybe https://youtu.be/0z2ZxP6nSbA
I would expect this from Gigi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TqSyvdqn9c
Brain fart on my part. That’s what I was vaguely thinking of but could only think of “Gigi.”
No this?
Ew, no.
Neat-o.
A good demonstration of how vibration can cause an improperly torqued fastener to come loose.
Very cool. There is a reason they make Loctite and every fastener on a motorcycle will typically use it.
Yeah, that happened to a lug nut on my wheel somewhere in the back field between Sioux Falls and De Smet, SD. A good time was not had by any.
Happened all the time on my cheap ass router where the depth lock uses two ‘counter tightened’ nuts. One, of many, reasons I got a higher end router.
We are all in people. Get that in your head!
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/senators-offer-bill-block-any-us-president-leaving-nato-2023-07-12/
Well, yeah — leaving NATO should be equivalent to a change in a treaty and hence should require Senate confirmation.
That they let way too much foreign policy (looking at you, Paris Accords) slide without Senate confirmation these days doesn’t mean they need a bill to specify this to me.
Guess that depends on the exit provisions of the treaty the senate approved of in the first place.
In that case, a Senate resolution or bill would make no difference. Treaties trump statutes, much less resolutions.
Dose of realism.
I’m not planning on sticking around if it’s just to be your friend
Which made me think of how this is appropriate to sexual relations and cars.
Always appropriate
Let’s Get It On – Marvin Gaye
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6QZn9xiuOE
Barry White – Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love Baby.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0I6mhZ5wMw
What, no references to Fast Times at Ridgemont High and putting Led Zeppelin on?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl-CriM6vx0
See TO’G @1:05 pm.
I searched for “Fast Times”, I should have searched for “Zep”
Plymouth Sapporo (Mitsubishi Lancer coupe elsewhere)
Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight” always seemed to do the trick.
Sade and James Taylor were also reliable.
Was driving my uncle’s old F-150 (pre-center console) for some reaso once with a girl. That was fun.
Can confirm. Full size pickup w/ bench seat + willing participant = fun night
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW9mZLnQ7Yc
This was also the second coming of the Dodge Challenger.
I think I have a different idea of sex music than the rest of y’all do. Heroic Mulatto’s rec: You could get pregnant from this song.
And this one’s just kinda bizarre: https://youtu.be/2qYulS_IGLA
And of course, Morphine.
That band is on the mix tape. They were on my college not the HS mix.
Slow Ride
Going back to archives.
Dr. Hook soft as shit rock. Every one some love related, lonely boy, wooing song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_n_NgGWpR4
Unrelated to having anything to do with sex music: Polyphia, whom I only discovered a couple of weeks ago even though they’ve been around forlikeever. Drugs? Ass?
Those folks are good. They might be a little too good for me. IMO, virtuoso rock and Jazz musicians are great to listen to in small doses.
I can agree, although I think my time tolerance for both extends if it’s background music to whatever I’m doing.
They’re the right mix of Yngwie Malmsteen and Rush.
I don’t think that I’ve ever finished that video. I recognize their technical skills, that but piece just bores me.
I saw them live a few months ago. Not exactly my thing, but extremely enjoyable guitar noodling nonetheless.
She Was HOT
She’s Tight!
Also hot
I Don’t Know How to be Your Friend
Another suitable song
Neat-o.
A good demonstration of how vibration can cause an improperly torqued fastener to come loose.
Surprise. Twatter actually let me watch.
Interesting, but it looks like that nut was just finger loose
Stupid and lonely 14 year old me on what make out music was supposed to be.
I Need Lunch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLZL7ocflGc
Does this make Mojeaux squee?
I don’t know about Mojeaux, but this played at the roller rink during every couples skate and was all over the AM radio in the 70’s.
Yes. I heart it.
A little Ol’ Blue Eyes did the trick
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fOUrnUktTjU
California Closes Gyms For 2 Weeks To Slow The Spread Of Fascism
Perfect.
Depending in the bar floozy, this is also a hit:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n4zRe_wvJw8
*gives XX the side eye*
Heh heh. You should see the Sinatra link.
Want to see my shocked face?
“This current petition is proposing a 10[-kts] speed limit over a wide swath of our eastern Gulf of Mexico, an area in which 50 million angler trips are occurring,” Hubbard said of the potentially affected area, which stretches along nearly 500 linear miles from the Florida-Alabama line to Tampa.
https://www.foxnews.com/media/deep-sea-fisherman-torches-asinine-biden-administration-proposal-cut-gulf-speed-limit-10-kts
Well that’s a huge fuck you to the charter industry.
But the whales!
I doubt we will ever recover from the Brandon administration.
How would that be enforced, anyway? That’s hundreds of square miles of ocean. How many coast guard cutters are there in that area? Do they have radar guns?
https://shiptracker.live/
I’ve no idea if commercial boats are precluded from turning this off. I believe so, but mechanical issues happen…
Still a lot of empty space out there.
5 Decomposed Bodies Found Near Remote Colorado Campground
Helluva thing to find on a hike. I wonder if they’ll ever be able to determine what happened.
They died.
This is known as “belaboring the obvious.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyatlov_Pass_incident
Whoa.
It was an “avalanche” huh?
Anything but aliens, I guess.
Were they shining?
SpaceX. Off the shelf Model X.
NASA.
https://www.theverge.com/2023/7/12/23792450/canoo-ev-nasa-artemis-defense-government
Gee, I wonder why the StarLiner is so expensive.
Needs more safety zip ties.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/12/politics/taranto-obama-neighborhood-arrest/index.html
Re: Swiss’s call for content: I’ll be dropping in a piece on fishing in Resurrection Bay later today. Use as best fits!
Also, since we’re on music: Whenever I read of a Swiss narrowed gaze, I hear this.
I think I am going to put together a trip report on random day trips around Colorado last week.
We did a sort-of-staycation. We stayed at home but were all over the place during the days.
I get that the delivery drivers don’t know that the padded envelope contains a 4TB SSD drive, but I hate to come home to find my package lying on the sidewalk. Thankfully, nobody trod on it and the drive works.
Was it Amazon? There are more and more lockers all over the place. They are pretty nice, especially for more valuable items.
I still want it delivered to my door
If you’re worried about porch pirates, the lockers are a win.
Despite all the issues I’ve had with my neighbors, they haven’t stolen anything delivered to my house.
I used it once for a $10 credit, but there are plenty of doors that drivers can leave packages at.
And they do… I don’t quite get the drivers who are walking around my attached garage into my backyard to put packages on my back patio. Although it makes more sense than the drivers who leave items at the garage door. Not an ingress, but the actual two car garage rolling door.
Reproductive rights groups file suit to stop Iowa’s new 6-week abortion ban
A group of reproductive rights groups said Wednesday they had sued to stop Iowa’s newly passed six-week abortion ban from going into effect.
Planned Parenthood of the Heartland, the American Civil Liberties Union of Iowa and the Emma Goldman Clinic, a women’s health care facility in Iowa City, filed the legal challenge in a state court Wednesday afternoon — less than 12 hours after the Republican-controlled Legislature passed the ban.
The suit, filed in Iowa District Court for Polk County, seeks a temporary injunction. If it is granted, the law would be blocked while the legal challenge plays out in the court system.
In a phone call with reporters, the groups filing the suit said the initial hearing in the case was scheduled to occur Friday at 1:30 p.m. local time.
If it is not blocked by the court, the law would go into effect immediately after Republican Gov. Kim Reynolds signs it Friday afternoon at a summit hosted by a Christian conservative group, which several 2024 Republican candidates are expected to attend.
OK lawyers, how do they get an injunction before the law is even signed?
How does anyone have standing before the law goes into effect?
Activist Judge.
I’m just surprised they didn’t ask the judge to prohibit the governor from signing it.
Back on topic:
There was my Chevy Nova in high school. The bench seat in front was more than adequate for me and the preacher’s daughter. Hoo-boy.
And I’m trying to remember what I was driving that night in the bar parking lot. Drawing a total blank. Couldn’t have been the Civic, which I don’t think I still had, but maybe. And after that I had the little Saturn two door coupe, which also seems unlikely.
Late 60s, four-door sedan with bench seat. Put the seat all the way back and there is lots of room to move around.
Well OK now we know you are serious about making folk build plants in right to work states.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/12/cars/uaw-head-strike-big-three/index.html