I forced a bot to read over 10000000000 Glibs comments and write a short story. Here is the result…
The S.S. Carnival Delight was ready to set sail on the adventure of a lifetime, and it wasn’t long before the cruise ship turned into a raucous party fueled by copious amounts of alcohol.
On the first night, the grumpy silver-haired man, Captain Jack, decided to embrace his inner carnivore and challenged the ship’s chef to an eating contest. The menu consisted of nothing but meat dishes, and to everyone’s surprise, Jack devoured them all with a growling ferocity.
Meanwhile, the bearded man, known as Contrary Carl, managed to turn even the most innocent conversation into a heated political debate. When someone said, “Nice weather today,” Carl countered with, “It’s all a result of climate change, you know!” He was relentless, but somehow it added to the amusement of the group.
The handsome and erudite retired man, James, found himself surrounded by a throng of young male admirers. He spent most of his days mountain biking around the ship, capturing stunning photographs and charming his entourage with witty anecdotes about his daring dating escapades.
Dr. Evelyn, the elder academic with an inappropriate sense of humor, made even the most serious NPR listeners blush with his politically incorrect jokes. He enjoyed fine wine tastings with Captain Jack, and together, they’d leave the attendees in stitches.
The 40-something hipster, Max, was always shaking up cocktails at the ship’s bar, ensuring that every conversation was punctuated with his obscure trivia. “Did you know the word ‘cocktail’ originally meant a horse with a docked tail?” he’d exclaim, raising his meticulously crafted drink to the amused crowd.
Colonel Hank, the retired military officer, couldn’t stop reminiscing about his past military escapades. He loved regaling anyone who would listen with stories of obscure battles and bragged about his collection of rare beers from around the world.
And then there was Florida Man, whose real name no one bothered to learn because, well, he was Florida Man. He spent his days racing miniature toy cars around the ship and had an uncanny obsession with frog mating calls. At night, he’d perform his “impressive” impersonations, to the bewilderment of everyone present.
In the midst of all this chaos, the beautiful romance novelist, Victoria, stood out like a teetotaling angel. She was always found sipping on her non-alcoholic mocktails and keeping a watchful eye over the group, secretly gathering ideas for her next steamy novel. Little did she know, the ship’s bartender would unknowingly inspire a few characters in her upcoming work.
Astrid, the successful yet nerdy woman, was eager to find romance on the cruise but struggled with flirting. She’d approach a guy and start discussing quantum physics or video game mechanics, leaving them befuddled and running for the hills.
As the days passed, the alcohol-fueled hijinks reached new heights. Captain Jack and Contrary Carl had a never-ending debate about the ship’s course, each pointing the other in opposite directions. James found himself in a series of hilarious biking mishaps, surrounded by a paparazzi of enthusiastic admirers. Dr. Evelyn’s jokes grew increasingly scandalous, causing a mix of laughter and scandalized gasps from his audience.
Max, always armed with trivia, managed to turn a serious treasure hunt activity into an impromptu quiz show, while Colonel Hank organized a beer-tasting competition that quickly devolved into a chaotic mess of beer spills and laughs.
Florida Man, for his grand finale, decided to serenade the entire ship with his rendition of frog mating calls, much to the delight and bewilderment of his fellow passengers.
Amidst all the laughter, Victoria finally mustered the courage to flirt with a handsome stranger, and Astrid learned that sometimes, it’s best to keep the quantum physics for later.
The cruise might have been fueled by alcohol and mayhem, but it created bonds that would last a lifetime. As the S.S. Carnival Delight docked at its final destination, the group departed with unforgettable memories and an unbreakable camaraderie, all thanks to the cruise that became the stuff of legends.
We’re doing a Glibtastic Glibcation Glibruise*!
*Final Glibcruise outcome may or may not resemble the above fictional story. Any resemblance to real persons is somewhat coincidental. Names have been changed to protect the guilty. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
“I forced a bot to read over 10000000000 Glibs comments”
And it didn’t catch fire or anything?
This is how AIs go insane.
And it didn’t catch fire or anything?
I was thinking more like “achieve sentience and destroy the world” à la Skynet.
LOL! I cheated and peeked at it a while back. Lovely!
Can a bot develop a drinking problem?
Thanks, KK! This is a funny one.
0.2% of those are mine. I need to step up my commenting game.
It there a reason the AI portrays everyone as being OMWC/Spud’s age?
It’s Trump’s fault.
Astrid and Victoria look GILFy
We read as geezers.
bonds that would last a lifetime
These kinky euphemisms.
Featured image checks out.
We’ve been “ratio’d”
Every dude in the picture has a broken nose?
They are all related, AFAIK or could tell.
We’re doing a terrific job
FEMA Administrator Deanne Criswell said the federal government has the “right amount of personnel on the ground” in Hawaii to help in the recovery and response efforts from what has become the deadliest wildfire in modern U.S. history.
Criswell, who joined Monday’s White House news briefing by video from Hawaii, said the Federal Emergency Management Agency is focused on getting people critical-needs assistance funds, which provide $700 initially for food, water, medical supplies and other needs.
“We know and have let them know that we are mourning with them,” Criswell said of her work with Hawaiians. “Nothing can prepare you for what I saw during my time here and nothing to prepare them for the emotional toll of the impact that the severe event has taken on them.”
——-
Jean-Pierre was also asked about the optics of Biden’s vacationing in Delaware over the weekend during disaster recovery.
“I think that matters that the folks who are on the ground, the elected officials, are saying that they’re receiving the help that they need to deal with this devastating issue,” she said. “And that’s what you’re going to continue to hear from this administration, and that’s what you’re going to continue to see.”
Jean-Pierre said that Sen. Mazie Hirono, D-Hawaii, “who I said the president spoke to just last night, he thanked the President for the immediate support of federal agencies have delivered for residents of Hawaii.” She appeared to incorrectly pronounce the longtime senator’s name and used her wrong gender pronoun. She referred to the senator earlier in her remarks, using the correct pronunciation.
Senators, man, who can keep them all straight? There’s like a hundred of them.
NBC let out that she also needed four or five tries to get the other Senator’s name right.
…which makes me assume the real sin wasn’t not knowing what anyone’s name is in Hawaii, but rather that she misgendered one of them.
How do you appear to mispronounce a name?
You either say it right or you don’t.
Just remember Japanese has pitch accent!
It’s a modified limited “Republicans pounce” framing.
Heck of a job, Crissy! Where’s that “mission accomplished” banner?
She pronounced it “Senator Sharts”. I shit you not.
Hahaha! What a maroon.
Seriously, if any of us mispronounce a pronoun we get banned from work and have to apologize publicly in a humiliation ritual. Fuck ’em.
To be fair, she probably deals with a lot of sharts in that job.
Next week is “Shart Week” on C-SPAN.
[hic]
Where are James’s female admirers? Asking for a friend.
Artificial.
I love it. Tonio should be flattered.
OT:
@Tonio, you haz mail.
I gave the AI a very brief story location and 3-4 facts about each character. Same for the pics.
It’s about a month since I submitted this, and the “Dr. Evelyn” pic still cracks me up.
Captain Jack looks very much like someone I know. 😉
Thanks, KK. This was fun!
There’s no mead in this story. 🙁
That featured image looks like pre-gangbang
Maybe I will be able to find the money for this cruise.
Is that the next chapter? Glibs After Dark.
Patriot Front’s post-Quantico graduation party.
Tho dunks on retards.
Poor reason. They are truly lost.
Against my better judgement I went there to red the article. One more cocktail party invite incoming for this one!
It must be performance art. There is no way they are oblivious to how bad they are.
Don’t underestimate the capacity for self-delusion and in-group signaling.
HELLO, FELLOW Joe Bidens!
I really enjoyed that song and a few of his other works I listened to during lunch. Yes, it’s not the musically complicated song, but it has a lot of emotion in it.
And he has a great voice. I liked it -and a couple others of his- as well.
Mileage may vary.
De gustibus non est disputandum
LOL
Stand Outside Barefoot for Better Health? ‘I Feel Like an Oddball, But if It Works, It Works.’
I’m not a doctor, but maybe you could just spend more time outside. Barefoot or not.
Convincing people to bury themselves every night with their head sticking out of the ground will not be difficult.
KEEP YOU SAFE FROM STEVE.
IF YOU DIG HOLE DEEPER.
Yep. Not necessary to dig a hole for your shoulder and sleep on the ground. Just walk outside.
Granted, it’s 109 all this week. So that is limited. I may have to just go hit the community pool.
Maybe multitask and do some home electrical repairs while “grounding” too?
In my house we’re barefoot most of the time, indoors and out. I just thought we were hillbillies. Guess we’re holistic wellness practitioners now.
Yeah, going barefoot in scorpion country is . . . Not smart.
There’s a reason I live in an area that scorpions don’t.
/is usually barefoot in the house
Give me tornados any day.
Grounded.
A buddy of mine walked around barefoot every morning for this reason. I don’t think it is harmful, but he did end up with a serious case of cancer, so I doubt it helped. On the other hand, maybe it’s like the vaccine. “Fortunately I survived thanks to walking around barefoot.”
I’m barefoot as much as possible. I’m taller, more handsome and smarter because of it.
You just teed up for a “Low Bar” response.
I opted to simply mention the temptation lest I make too many comments that come off as mean-spirited.
I’m more than comfortable being the tallest midget.
I am much closer to the ground than you. Do I win?
I lived in Phoenix for 7 years. I had multiple friends step on scorpions (both inside and outside of their houses). I learned never to walk barefoot.
I’ve been back in Iowa for 30 years. I still wear shoes or sandals all the time.
Yeah, even without scorpions, there’s too many unpleasant things to step on. Thistles immediately jump to mind. Dog shit is another.
What? Are none of you parents? LEGOS
nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope
That place is not fit for humanity.
I recall the last time I walked through my house barefoot. Just before work, I walked through the kitchen barefoot to the bedroom, where I put on shoes. I immediately walked back through the kitchen and *crunch* stepped squarely on a sizable scorpion. Didn’t see him on either trip.
No mo barefoot. And knock your shoes out before you put them on. I put on sandals once, and a scorpion shot out the front.
Silver lining: I used to have a spider phobia before I moved to scorpion country.
Knock on wood, we’ve had only one scorpion in the house *we know of.
*ignorance sometimes is truly bliss..can’t find if you don’t look.
Sounds more like bonding than grounding.
Time to strap on the gloves and Duke it out until one of you is in the earth.
She pronounced it “Senator Sharts”. I shit you not.
Wait. That’s the guy from New Jersey, isn’t it?
It could be Mitch McConnell, or even President Sharts.
The options are nearly endless.
Feinstein has got to be leading the pack.
her mother showed up with a roll of foil tape, a long copper pipe, an electrical wire and a rod clamp.
They were all supplies required to “ground” Meyer’s bed. Grounding is what proponents call the process of connecting to the earth’s natural electric charge, often by physically touching it or connecting to the grounding system built into most U.S. homes.
Kinky. Do you wrap your mattress in aluminum foil?
They’re making a foil-tape grid under the sheets, and connecting that to ground. Either out the window to a grounding rod, or to the ground on an outlet. The less crazy practitioners and taking their shoes off and standing in the yard for minutes/hours.
The foil is for wrapping electric outlets.
And making stylish hats.
Indeed. Stylish hats of foil are my bag,
Like so?
+1 Foil Fedora
Way too accurate to be ai.
Well done.
Well done indeed.
I forced a bot to read over 10000000000 Glibs comments and write a short story. Here is the result…
Oh boy… diving in!
He spent his days racing miniature toy cars around the ship and had an uncanny obsession with frog mating calls.
I like this.
I detect some fan service with Astrid.
Profound sadness
Hillary Clinton said she did not “feel any satisfaction” about Donald Trump’s extreme legal predicament, as 13 more criminal charges were leveled against the former president in Georgia on Monday night. Instead, the former senator, secretary of state and presidential nominee said, she felt “great profound sadness”.
Clinton, 75, lost the 2016 election to Trump. On Monday, she was booked on MSNBC in part to discuss a new essay in the Atlantic, about the problem of loneliness in US society. But then news broke of Trump’s latest indictments, over his election subversion in Georgia in 2020.
“I didn’t think that [the appearance] would be under these circumstances, yet another set of indictments,” Clinton said, laughing.
“It’s hard to believe,” she said. “I don’t feel any satisfaction. I feel great profound sadness that we have a former president who has been indicted for so many charges that went right to the heart of whether or not our democracy would survive.”
None of this would have happened if you stupid deplorables had voted for me.
Let me guess, Hillary was never asked about her own 2016 “election denial”.
Hey! She never tried to get it overturned! She only funneled money to those trying to get it overturned, MAGAshit!
What an insufferable cunt. Go the fuck away.
I wonder if she squeezed out a fake tear to accompany the fake emoting.
I don’t feel any satisfaction.
You do and are literally unable to hide it.
that went right to the heart of whether or not our democracy would survive.
I get the inclination that you are using “democracy” when you mean “oligarchy/kleptocracy.”
Indeed. Didn’t she recently give an interview where she was laughing about it?
It seems that AI thinks that Glibs holding glasses have an unusual number of fingers.
No comment
That’s not a finger.
Hello, My name is Inigo Montoya…
That’s not what your name tag says.
PO’d Nick – I think it was you that was interested in the concrete counter tops? I just submitted a 3-parter on my build. Not sure when it will pop up, but if you want info in advance, I can send you the write up directly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CIE041T954
Heh that’s pretty tame by AI standards. Have it generate a crowd of people and watch some of the unsettling body horror it comes up with.
(see: featured image)
No talking hats, hairs or merkins? I feel like this AI doesn’t get us at all.
I suspect that there was no AI.
There was very much an AI, but I didn’t force it to read any comments. That was just for the sake of the meme. I described what I did upthread.
I would have liked to have seen that version.
Merkin? I hope this is some foreshadowing….
Hey, I know that guy!
Speaking of New Age drivel.
“The NuCalm biosignal processing disc is a revolutionary delivery mechanism that activates the parasympathetic nervous system, by tapping into the body’s Pericardium Meridian with particular electromagnetic frequencies of inhibitory neurotransmitters to interrupt the HPA axis and downregulate sympathetic tone,”
What is NuCalm? Is Meghan Markle’s skin patch a scam?
https://nypost.com/2023/08/14/what-is-nucalm-is-meghan-markles-skin-patch-a-scam/
And is it made from the skin of an actual Meghan Markle?
I actually admire their audacity. Go big or go home.
I don’t think inhibitory neurotransmitters have particular electromagnetic frequencies, like at all…file under copper infused knee braces and the like.
Act now and become the full copper man.
I’ll never be a bad boy again.
ALOL
I need rapid pickle access.
The copper condom?
It’s more likely that I’m being controlled by self-assembling vaccine graphene nanobots via 5G.
*twitches, cues up latest Taylor Swift single on Youtube*
Lemme know when she releases the Official Meghan Markle RealDoll.
Ewww. Dude.
Sometimes it is hard to not kinkshame, but, we don’t kinkshame. At least not our own.
With real Magic Pussy(r) Action!
Why do you have to bring her husband into the discussion?
He’s proof it’s magic.
I read “pericardium” and thought “perineum”. She’d probably sell at lot more if it was that.
Have a heart, it’taint that.
There’s one advertised pharmaceutical that has a side effect of potentially deadly perineum infections. I can’t help but suppress a giggle every time it gets pitched to me.
Probably not the same drug, but there’s one with a big musical production number. Now, I like a big musical production number
as much asmore than the next guy, but…no. Just no.Is Meghan Markle’s skin patch a scam?
Is this a trick question?
Captain Jack
Happy Jack
THE Jack
Jack In The Box
Cunt In Chief.
Cunt.
He has no idea what is going on anymore.
My guess is he literally couldn’t hear them.
And didn’t care.
And has been ordered that under no circumstances is he to wander over to them and engage.
👆
It’s on the cue card in his hand.
Have any of those reporters done a story comparing the days Biden’s been on vacation to the days Trump spent golfing? I’ll wait.
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/biden-vacation-40-presidency-153000371.html
This one is good if you want to laugh:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2023/05/22/biden-trump-trips-compared/
Damn. That’s unbelievable. If he was an R, the national media would be tearing him a new asshole (and rightfully so).
We used to have investigative reporting that would spill massive amounts of ink on things like this. How many articles ran about Bush in the classroom quietly staring as he is told SHTF in NY?
I do fault Bush for that one.
At least after the second plane hit. I was driving to work listening to the radio when the second plane hit. It was within 20 seconds after that I was yelling at the radio that they should order all the planes down. I realized that kind of thing was no accident and if there were two there could be more.
Bush should have excused himself after the second plane hit.
Why am I paying these crushing taxes? Anybody?
Randall’s Island migrant shelter to cost NY taxpayers $20M a month — or $10K for every migrant: source
https://nypost.com/2023/08/13/randalls-island-migrant-shelter-to-cost-ny-taxpayers-20m-a-month-or-10g-for-every-migrant-source/
Obviously because there aren’t migrants coming in the do the jobs Americans won’t.
Randall’s Island?! LOL I can’t wait to hear them bitching how inconvenient it is.
Fucking outrageous.
$10K for every migrant
Just put them up at the Four Seasons.
Hell of a campaign there Ron.
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4152546-christie-pulls-ahead-of-desantis-in-new-hampshire-gop-primary-poll/amp/
It’s amazing how bad his team is.
Or maybe it’s intentional?
I always got the feeling he didn’t want to run this time.
Oh well, he’s a neocon stooge in his foreign policy anyway.
Trump 49%
Christie 9%
Desantis 8%
The only one I kind of like?
Ramaswamy 3%
Seems about right.
Republicans are also retarded? I’m finding this out just now.
Chris Christie can’t even win his home state.
Looking forward to four more years of the Blue Team.
I really don’t see how we make it past 2024 unscathed. Trump will go to prison, the Leviathan demands it. So either mass disobedience from his hard core supporters in all manners of society or we watch the last snip of America’s ball getting neutered.
Y’all are too pessimistic.
Let’s see. I’m still young compared to 4Score, but I’ve lived through:
The Vietnam War.
The Cuban Missile Crises.
The Could War.
Thousands of bombings in the early 1970s.
Airplane Hijackings.
Race Riots.
And on
And on
And on
And this is the most fearful that I have ever been in my life that the world is going to come crushing down.
So, black pilled beyond black.
Don’t be so gloomy. AOC will finally be old enough to run for President in 2024.
If she runs here whole campaign in a bikini I’ll be happier
Nope. It sure feels like we’re headed towards the cliff at full throttle. Dems and Republican finks like Kemp will use lawfare to get Trump off the ballots and maybe in jail. All avenues of peaceful reform are being systematically blocked off.
Were also headed towards cliffs in the economy and foreign wars. If we hit them all simultaneously, it will be a spectacular meltdown.
Y’all motherfuckers need this.
Yeah. Everyone is ready to jump off a cliff.
One thing to look forward to:
The GlibFlick second anniversary is this Thursday and I am showing a monster film with a Q-worthy heroine who normally makes romance films. There are some Tonio-worthy men in it too. It will at least make Thursday a better place.
I’m looking at it through a different lens.
The main goal of the Biden administration is to make the United States politically unstable and therefore less attractive to foreign capital. This is to benefit Europe so that they don’t collapse from capital flight and ballooning bond yields.
For my proof, I just point to everything Yellen has done at Treasury.
On the flip side, the Fed under Powell is jacking interest rates to attract foreign capital and collapse bad investments (tech, higher ed, the federal budget in general).
It’s no coincidence that all of those entities which greatly benefit from zero interest rates are also my enemies. Therefore, I still have hope. I want Powell to crush those motherfuckers.
You know, “a href=”https://www.printables.com/model/493676-zardoz”>This is a disappointing sculpt.
And a terrible link.
https://www.printables.com/model/493676-zardoz
You mean his pic or your results?
I’m not going to print a sculpt that bad.
If you are referring to his results, I’d say it’s due to him using a filament printer and also his settings probably suck. I opened the model in Fusion 360 and I’m not seeing any of the surface roughness that he got on his print.
Meanwhile, in CRE.
I wonder how the market will adapt to this.
That suspended construction site will make a fine hobo encampment.
Damn door-to-door salesjerks. I don’t want what you are selling. I don’t care if someone else on the street is a customer. Now go away. *closes door while jerk is still trying to look up the neighbor’s name*
At first I thought it was the biker who decides to skim his feet above the road for half a block because he wants to break an ankle. But suddenly…
https://www.reddit.com/r/IdiotsInCars/comments/15r620x/impatient_idiot_overtakes_and_crashes_oc/
Good.
What a fuckwit.
And on the other hand the Lord provides for those in need.
https://www.reddit.com/r/IdiotsInCars/comments/15rak7b/gotta_love_it_when_people_dont_stop_at_stop_signs/
Haha! From the comments:
reppit
•
19 hr. ago
“Oh my God!…” parks in a church parking lot.
u/krisssy avatar
krisssy
•
7 hr. ago
Next time try “Oh my free oil change!”
Had a guy in a small pickup pull that move on me yesterday.
I was hoping for his demise.
Would it be wrong to flip him off as you drive by his wrecked car?
I’m all for throwing the bird, but in this case a honk and a big smile would be better.
No.
Just no.
Hey, we’ve all seen both The Eiger Sanction and The Archer Sanction.
Not even if I were a mountain goat.
When I go to purgatory to work off my sins, I will be forced to walk that until I get it right.
Today in Dick History.
A dark day.
While Nixon is responsible for his decision. The real blame lies with the Johnson administration and his Congress. They made holding onto the gold window completely untenable.
Yeah, ’64-65 is when quarters became worthless, IIRC.