Gillbooks 24 – Insert Cleveland Browns joke here.

by | Aug 6, 2023 | I Am Lame | 235 comments

That’s right I’m letting you down again. No puzzle this week and I don’t even have a book related topic to send you people off with.

I could steal Cyto’s “What are your favorite fanfics?” from Mojo’s Friday night post, but that would be really lazy. So I’ll just declare Open Post and be done with it.

About The Author

The Hyperbole

The Hyperbole

The Hyperbole can beat any of you chumps at Earthshaker! the greatest pinball machine of all time.

235 Comments

  1. MikeS

    Boring. I’m going to go weld stuff. Poorly.

    • DEG

      I’m watching this, then I’m going to mow the lawn.

      • Fourscore

        I started with the grass, got lucky, it started raining. Whew!

    • juris imprudent

      You won’t weld well without welding poorly first.

      • MikeS

        I’m actually making a tiny bit of headway. Made some not horrible looking welds. Now, consistency.

      • Plinker762

        A grinder and paint make me the welder I ain’t.

      • MikeS

        Yep. Grinder is my best friend.

      • hayeksplosives

        “Grind to fit; paint to match” was the shop motto at a previous job.

        Ah, prototyping.

    • Chafed

      Spoken like a true Firster.

      • MikeS

        /tips hat

  2. Evan from Evansville

    The White Sox/Cleveland brawl was interesting. Don’t think I’ve seen a baseball player get punched and immediately fall on his back without bracing anything. Clearly got his bell rung. He got up but he was wobbly on ‘his’ walk to the clubhouse.

    There is blood in the water that will eventually be paid back. Just time of when/how, not of if.

    • slumbrew

      Just watched the video – Sox player got clipped right in the chin by that second haymaker. Down he went.

  3. Shirley Knott

    Gillbooks? Something fishy about that title…

    • Shpip

      It’s not quite to scale.

      • Fourscore

        As always, I got in on the tale of it

      • slumbrew

        I think this thread is floundering.

      • juris imprudent

        What do you expect when there is no hook?

      • Shirley Knott

        Yeah, it’s a sinker.

      • Fourscore

        Hey, that was my line!

      • Shirley Knott

        Oh, carp, sorry dude.

      • R.J.

        This thread is bobbing around now. Might be time to get reel.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        Need more time to lure them in.

  4. Evan from Evansville

    Well, I have today off. Then a medical/therapeutic/etc appointments on Mon, Tues, Wed and Fri. I already have two scheduled for next week, I think Mon and Wed follow-ups to those. Goal is to convince the substance abuse folk, where this location focuses on, that I should be at the other location for intensive outpatient to focus on depression. It’s also MUCH closer to my parents’ place.

    My week in DETOX was powerful and I haven’t thought of going back down that dumb road, flanked with the corpses of my past defeats.

    Depression is to a point where just nothing happens. I suppose this is what my version of it looks like. Still ever-cheerful and chipper. A rock gathering himself unwelcome moss.

    Well. Should be another fairly pointless day. Cubs are tied with Atlanta 2-2 in the fourth. About to go over everyone’s complicated calendar for this week. Ya.

    Then I will get stoned and eat for the first time in too long. Yay.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Stoned? Won’t they test for that?

    • Lackadaisical

      Doesn’t getting stoned defeat the whole purpose?

      From what I’ve gleaned, you should be trying to stay clean of everything.

      • Fourscore

        Someone here knows a song about that. MikeS? Tundra? Anyone?

      • R.J.

        Tried twice to post Afroman. It was a fail.

      • rhywun

        Doesn’t getting stoned defeat the whole purpose?

        That was my thought but who knows. Maybe he’s not abusing it. 🙂

    • Evan from Evansville

      @ All: Meh. I don’t go out and do things high. It’ll show up in my system for ~a couple weeks regardless. I left Korea with the plan to stop Slow Motion Suicide and go sober and just smoke weed again.

      It worked perfectly…when I had a job and eyes on me. Accountability, I respond to well. I’ve done detox and cleared that challenge. Powerful message sent and received, loud and crystal.

      Just a part-time gig, Kroger looking like a good idea, to get stability and structure. Connections, interest and legit experience in the Indy zoo. Can expand from a simple gig to a serious job. Editing is what I really want to do. The freelance structure is there and I’ve done it before, but now something more orderly.

      Steps continue. Onward, upward, always.

      • Lackadaisical

        Okay, didn’t sound like a particularly upward trajectory, which is what was concerning me.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        California sober, eh?

      • rhywun

        Hella.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        Hecka.

    • Grosspatzer

      I hope things work out for you. An old friend told of his experiences on what he called “The Marijuana Plan”. Didn’t work out so well for him.

  5. Aloysious

    What am I reading…

    Some old mysteries written by S.S. Van Dine. Good for the vocabulary. Like/dislike the hero character, Philo Vance.

    Looked up some of the books I don’t have on Amazon. Yikes.

    • Ted S.

      In the words of Ogden Nash,

      Philo Vance
      Needs a kick in the pance.

      • Aloysious

        I did see a movie on Amazon Prime once, maybe a couple of years ago, with the character Philo Vance. Maybe I can find it.

      • Aloysious

        The Kennel Murder Case. 1933, starring William Powell. It was ok. Picture quality was poor, that version hadn’t been restored.

      • The Hyperbole

        I don’t recall who played him on the old timey radio shows but they were pretty good, no Johnny Dollar sure, but far better than some, Richard Diamond I’m looking at you.

    • whiz

      I’ve been listening to some Philo Vance radio shows on an old-time radio podcast. Haven’t read any Vance books, though, so don’t know how close they are to the originals.

  6. Suthenboy

    I received my book on the Federalist/Anit-Federalist papers.
    Nice book.
    It is a collection of Paine’s ‘Common Sense’, The Federalist Papers, the Anti-Federalist Papers, The Articles of Federation, the US Constitution, The Bill of Rights and the Declaration of Independence.
    This will keep me busy for some time. As I suspected I am getting a great deal more out of them this go around as I was in the summer between 7th and 8th grade the last time I had selective readings from it. I am a bit more than half-way through ‘Common Sense’. So far it looks like we are eyeballs-deep in everything Paine warned us about.

    I might have to bang out some articles on these. What I miss someone here can no doubt point out.

    • ruodberht

      Is that the Hackett Publishing one? I bought that on Kindle years ago, never got around to reading it. Hackett is always good for philosophy. My Critique of Pure Reason (paperback) is well worn.

      • R.J.

        Ooo! I am getting that. Thanks!

      • Lackadaisical

        Keep in mind you can get all those for free.

        Just saying.

      • R.J.

        Physical books are pretty, and cannot be erased from your device by government funded commies.

      • Chafed

        FEE or IHS may offer them as physical copies.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Thank you Suthen! Very happy to see you, too.

      • Suthenboy

        Hello Gustave. It is good to see you….well, everyone actually. I am still kickin’.

      • Chafed

        It’s good to see you back.

      • Shirley Knott

        Seconded!

      • Suthenboy

        Thank you Chafed. It is good to be back in the land of the living.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The Hackett reference led me down the rabbit hole of their offerings. Did find this in their 2 vol Classics of American Political thought

        Note about the current 2021 printing of volume II: Selections from the following texts have been removed from the 2021 revised printing of volume II (2021 edition ISBN: 978-1-64792-012-8): E. B. White, Freedom; Langston Hughes, selected poems; Hannah Arendt, Reflections on Little Rock; Whittaker Chambers, Witness; C. Wright Mills, The Power Elite; Kurt Vonnegut, Harrison Bergeron; Daniel Patrick Moynihan, Family and Nation.

        🤦‍♂️

        but did keep Joseph R. Biden, Jr.’s “Learned Hand Dinner Address Before the American Jewish Committee” (2005)

        🤦‍♂️ 🤦‍♂️

      • Gender Traitor

        But who really wrote Biden’s piece?

      • Suthenboy

        One of Hunter’s hookers?

  7. UnCivilServant

    Wait, my tax bill went down? Property values must be slipping.

    • Fourscore

      Careful, if you sell they might go up.

      That’s why my neighbors like me, I keep their property values low.

  8. R.J.

    What am I reading? The three posts I just wrote up. August posts are done.

  9. Mojeaux

    I’m reading about MS-DRGs and the case mix index, neither of which I understand, and about the CCS exam, which I will not be taking.

    • Gender Traitor

      Microsoft now makes drugs?

      Why am I not really surprised?

      • UnCivilServant

        They did buy Bethesda Softworks.

      • Gender Traitor

        Should I ask my doctor if their games are right for me?

      • UnCivilServant

        Not that kind of drug…

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      CCS? Central Coast Surfboards?

      Good luck Mojo!

      • Mojeaux

        Thanks, but I’m not dropping another penny on this fucking learning experience/profession unless/until I get a job with the certification I already paid for.

  10. Gender Traitor

    Shout out to TO’G: just got notice yesterday that a copy of your recommended book McCarthy’s Bar, which I requested be sent to my neighborhood library from one in an adjacent county, is ready for me to pick it up. Looking forward to it!

    • Ted S.

      McCarthy’s Bar is melting in the dark,
      All that sweet green icing flowing down.

    • slumbrew

      Traveling through spectacular landscapes, but at all times obeying the rule, “never pass a bar that has your name on it,”…

      That sounds great – added to my list.

      Sadly, I don’t think there’s a single bar with my family name on it (it’s unusual). Though there is a local-ish restaurant, albeit one that just announced they’re closing; fairly certain the owner is a distant relative.

      • UnCivilServant

        What about your first name?

      • slumbrew

        A number of Jewish delis. Which isn’t so bad.

      • Tres Cool

        Carnegie ?

      • Chafed

        Slumbrew was named after a wrestler, Goldberg.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      👍 🥔 🥃

      One of those wee free library finds.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Speaking of McCarthys, I hear Andrew’s (yes, that one) travel books are good. His memoir wasn’t bad. I usually manage to finish celebrity auto-bios.

      • Gender Traitor

        One of those in which I was sorely disappointed was Chrissie Hynde’s. It’s been a while since I failed to finish reading it, but I think I found it horribly disjointed.

      • Tres Cool

        I was always puzzled by her marriage to Jim Kerr from Simple Minds.

      • Shirley Knott

        Roger Daltrey’s is surprisingly excellent. Pete Townsend’s, not so much.
        Similarly, Eric Idle’s, not John Cleese’s.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Idle’s seemed to me like just a list of famous friends and their shared vacations.

      • Chafed

        Bruce Dickinson’s autobiography was a disappointment. I didn’t finish it.

      • slumbrew

        Andrew was on Corolla’s podcast not long ago, talking about his latest book. Good interview and he seems like a solid dude.

        https://adamcarolla.com/andrew-mccarthy/

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      I used to be a regular at a bar called McCarthys.

  11. juris imprudent

    I downloaded from Gutenberg Project a few of Nietzsche’s books.

  12. hayeksplosives

    Y’all know I’m an Elon Musk/Tesla/SpaceX fan girl.

    But I gotta admit that being a Tesla driver who lives in an apartment is lame. I can’t plug my car in to charge at nought, and I can’t have the car automatically connect to my home WiFI to get the latest software updates.

    Sure, the car still drives without the updates, but the updates are fun and safe and enhance the driving experience.

    So I’m sitting in my 5 year old Tesla Model 3 with my T-Mobile phone hot spot attempting to update my software.

    So very silly.

    • Tres Cool

      My iPad Pro 12.9 has internet issues. Can you fix that, nerd girl ?

      • hayeksplosives

        What’s it worth to you?

        ::bats eyelashes::

      • Tres Cool

        If you were here, Id let plug in your Tesla.

        (hows THAT for a euphemism ?)

      • Shirley Knott

        Both my iPads & my old (6s) iPhone have started disconnecting fron WiFi when not in active use. I suspect one of Apple’s recent “security updates” is responsible. One of these days I’ll hit the local Apple Tore to see if the “Genius Zbar” has any in stock who know anything about this,

    • milo

      It can’t connect to a WiFi network? Is that a security thing?
      Good gravy.

  13. The Bearded Hobbit

    Coming back from town this afternoon we noticed a smoke plume. I’m not surprised, we missed our annual monsoons and it’s windy today. Nothing on the local news yet but it appears to be about 10 miles NW of here.

    It’s tourist season; some bozo probably left a smoldering fire.

    • Fourscore

      Not smoldering for long, it appears.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        The fire that forced our evacuation last year was from a hot spot left over from a controlled burn over a month earlier. Today is the first real wind that we’ve had for a while so that’s probably what set it off.

    • Suthenboy

      Burn ban here. It is hotter than hell, dry dry dry, and walking in grass or leaves sounds like walking in corn flakes.
      Who would be dumb enough to light a fire?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Idiot tourists from the city.

      • R.J.

        Lots of people. Especially creepy city kids who get a kick from it. Witness California and Canada.

      • UnCivilServant

        People are Dumb.

        It is universal that people will do stupid things.

      • Ted S.

        City folk?

      • Gustave Lytton

        The dipshits here, who are happy to let the state burn, are using it to ban gas powered OPE and BBQs.

      • R.J.

        Yes. And claim it’s caused by ‘Climate Change.’

      • Chafed

        Well obviously those unrelated Items are responsible because FYTW.

      • rhywun

        The answer appears to be “city people”.

        Because we are dumb and stuff. Hurr durr.

      • R C Dean

        Well, no dumber than average, but maybe some aren’t as aware of how the countryside/wildfire thing works.

      • rhywun

        The whole “dry wood” thing seems pretty darn obvious to me.

      • milo

        My damn neighbors from California.
        Surrounded by storms this morning. It just sprinkled for a few minutes.
        It’s been a hundred plus the last few days. So, these idjits think it’s time to burn.

    • Shirley Knott

      The dreaded ‘internal server error’ as I attempt to post an apology for missing you and the Mrs. when you came through Lansing.
      Rey sorry indeed. Hopefully another time.

      • Shirley Knott

        Dangit — Very sorry…

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        No sweat. Daughter #2 lives near Greenville (Sheridan) so we are in your state often. Will try to catch you sometime.

  14. Shpip

    So today marks twenty-nine years since Mrs. Shpip, against her better judgment, managed to squeak out an “I do” in front of God and everybody.

    We just concluded a trip to the north Georgia mountains, so tonight it’s just a quiet dinner at home for us.

    She asked me if, nearly three decades later, if I would marry her all over again, and I said “And how! Wanna know why?

    I made a point not to ask her if she would marry me again, knowing what she knows now.

    • Gender Traitor

      Congrats! Obligatory.

      • Ted S.

        I was thinking this.

      • Gender Traitor

        Cool link, bro!

      • Ted S.

        Grrr. This, based on where they went on their trip.

    • MikeS

      Congrats! Celebrating with a nice cigar?

      • Chafed

        When is a cigar just a cigar?

        -Freud

      • R.J.

        When it’s a cigar?

        -Robbie who works at the QT Mart.

      • Shpip

        Celebrating with a nice cigar?

        Well, I did visit Ybor City back in June, and picked up a couple of these, which would pair right nicely with a double pour of Johnny Blue or Buffalo Trace Kosher Rye.

      • MikeS

        I need to try one of those with a local farm-to-bottle Rye that I really like.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Congrats! We celebrated #51 yesterday.

      • R.J.

        Fantastic! Happy anniversary to both couples!

      • Grosspatzer

        And congrats to you, too!

      • milo

        Congratulations, sir! That is a goal worth celebrating!

    • Grosspatzer

      Congrats! 1994 was a very good year for the Patzers as well.

      • Fourscore

        Some marriages are made in heaven, some are made in hell. Important to get them in the right order.
        Took me 2 tries .

        Congrats to all the long married Glibs and those in between and the lucky singles.

    • DEG

      Congratulations!

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      Nice! 18 years is next month for us.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Congratulations! 12 years for us back in June, which makes me realize we’re now more legal than not and despite my enormous fuckups.

  15. Drake

    I watched the first episode of The Witcher Season 3. Everything the Critical Drinker said and worse. Like a Star Trek episode written by a kid who doesn’t like Star Trek. The characters are still there, but they are saying and doing things completely out of character. Like listening to music being played in the wrong key with out-of-tune instruments.

    Netflix fucked this up by the numbers. Not sure if I’ll finish the season – had such high hopes after season 1.

    • R.J.

      I felt that way about Good Omens 2 as well.

      Why hire back these writers when they all suck so bad? End the strike by firing them all. Fan fiction writers could do better.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, you see, Fan fiction writers have one major handicap – they are fans of the property. They won’t deliver The Message with blunt force.

      • R.J.

        Correct. They will make money for shareholders instead.

      • Drake

        Oh no – I was thinking of trying that one instead…

        The problem is that Hollywood writers suck. The Witcher Season 1 was basically the first book. They made it more complicated with the scenes going back and forth in time, but otherwise it was mostly the source material except the Yennifer stuff. By Season 3 they’ve ditched the source material completely and are writing terrible stories for characters they hate. The last couple of seasons of Game of Thrones had the same problem because Martin was too lazy to finish the series.

        If Gaiman wasn’t in on writing Good Omens 2, I shudder to think how bad it could be.

      • Tres Cool

        The old Reagan approach to striking ATC workers.
        I like it.

      • Tres Cool

        I mean, as propagandists, they’re essentially gov’t employees anyhow.

      • rhywun

        42 years ago yesterday.

        The only politics I recall from my mom is: she voted for Carter, she voted for Reagan, and she vocally approved of this action.

      • kinnath

        I watched the series today.

        It’s quite lightweight. It lacks the off kilter social perspective that Pratchett brought to the original.

        The only real reason to watch it is to see David Tennant chewing up the scenery as Crowley. Martin Sheen is always wonderful.

        The plot is scatterbrained with lots of filler subplots that do nothing but provide another set piece for Tennant and Sheen to do what they do.

        Woke is everywhere — to the point of distraction in many cases. Gaiman has gone all-in on woke.

        I enjoyed it. I had nothing better to do on a rainy day today. But I certainly would not give it a must-watch recommendation.

      • UnCivilServant

        David Tennant chewing up the scenery

        The plot is scatterbrained with lots of filler subplots

        Woke is everywhere — to the point of distraction

        I enjoyed it

        You lost me. What made it enjoyable despite all those negatives?

      • kinnath

        David Tennant chewing up the scenery

        This was one of the best parts of the show for me anyway.

        Not unlike Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate. Roger Ebert once said that Pacino had many times been accused of overacting, but had never been accused of bad acting.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m not a fan of his work. He just gets on my nerves.

      • kinnath

        Fair enough.

        He’s not the kind of actor that disappears into a role.

    • UnCivilServant

      A prerequisite for working on any Major Intellectual Property these days is to vehemently hate the source material and want to push the narrative over any pretense of quality.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    I felt that way about Good Omens 2 as well.

    I might have enjoyed it more if I had gone into it had I known it would be a parody of completely predictable by the numbers sjw character stereotyping. An angel in a wheelchair? Give me a fucking break. Oh,look, lesbians (a white one and a black one) finding each other against all odds.

    How… ordenawwy.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    A prerequisite for working on any Major Intellectual Property these days is to vehemently hate the source material and want to push the narrative over any pretense of quality.

    Or you just jack up the title and slide something completely unrelated to the original content under it. Hollywood was been doing that for decades.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Exhibit A: Starship Troopers

      • rhywun

        I really need to read the original.

        I love the movie even though I have heard it’s only barely related. I’m convinced the director deliberately made it ridiculous and I can appreciate that.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        The ST movie becomes obviously a parody when Dougy Houser comes out dressed as a Nazi.

      • CPRM

        The script was originally written as a new property, but the studio owned the rights to Star Ship Troopers, so they slapped the name on it. Fanboys blame Verhoven for fucking up the story from the book, but when he signed on it had no connection to the book. It would be akin to after he signed on for Robocop if Orion Pictures said, hey, we own the rights to Iron Man, this movie is now called Iron Man.

      • mindyourbusiness

        Ehhibit B: The Puppet Masters.

      • MikeS

        Exhibit III: Halloween III

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s unfair. The series was originally intended to be an anthology, and entry 3 was in keeping with that. The mistake was making 2 as a continuation of 1.

      • MikeS

        Okay then.

        Exhibit III: Halloween II

  18. Ownbestenemy

    Fucking installers and engineers. So we have three lines that rather then a straight pull up three floors or utilizing the fiber between the floors…punched down on 66 blocks. So I have additional points of failures. Also they thought they didn’t have to punch down as per industry standard so I had split pairs on my runs.

    • juris imprudent

      “You’re everything we’ve come to expect from years of government training”

  19. The Late P Brooks

    You know what I really like? When I try to research something and the vendor websites are carefully crafted to provide no useful information whatsoever. That gives me confidence.

  20. MikeS

    With all the wedding anniversaries mentioned above, I suppose I’ll mention that my daughter got engaged yesterday.

    Time marches on.

    • Sean

      Mazel tov!

    • DEG

      🙂

    • Fourscore

      Good luck to your daughter and the MikeS’.

      Hope your new to be SIL has his own tools and some youcan borrow.

      • Ted S.

        I read SIL at first as sister-in-law. 😐

      • MikeS

        He’s a South African who’s been working here on a farm labor program. I look forward to getting first hand info about what is happening in SA.

      • UnCivilServant

        Boar? Anglo? Zulu? Xhosa? Indian?

      • UnCivilServant

        *Boer.

        Dammit, I hate typing distracted.

      • MikeS

        ??? He looks more like Elon Musk than that guy the other day saying they aren’t going to kill White people…yet.

      • UnCivilServant

        I was trying to get a better picture of the guy. “South African” is about as descriptive as “American” in painting a picture.

      • MikeS

        I know. Not sure of the difference between Boer and Anglo, but he is White.

        Also, his family are not farmers, so I don’t believe they are in the crosshairs. I look forward to talking to him about all of it.

      • UnCivilServant

        Boers are descended from the Dutch, Anglos from the English.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        Big beards vs. mutton chops. That’s about the difference.

      • Not Adahn

        Anglos are English.

        Boers are very dull and uninteresting.

    • Grosspatzer

      Woot! Grandchirren to come!

      • MikeS

        Yeah. It’s a weird feeling knowing that is likely going to happen sooner than later.

      • R.J.

        It’s a good thing. Congrats Mile!

      • MikeS

        Yeah, I look forward to spoiling a grandkid!

      • R.J.

        Or Mike. Spellcheck is balls.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Vera, Chuck, and Dave 🎵

        🍾 to all the recent good news.

    • Tundra

      Congrats, buddy!

      Feel old yet?

      • MikeS

        Ugh. Yes.

      • Tundra

        Tell me. I spent the day trying to keep up with my kids in the mountainGot some good pics, though.s. Ded.

    • Sean

      You knew it was going to happen. It’s Commie land. You have no rights there.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They should get medals.

    • rhywun

      Guess: They’ll make a show out of it just like the recent case in NYC where a shopkeeper fought back and they had to back down because of public disgust.

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      Fuck. My dad grew up in Stockton. Shithole, but back in the day that would not have happened.

    • R.J.

      Step one: Take the cameraphone away.
      Step two: Unleash whoop ass.

  21. Sean

    Weekends are too damn short. 😟

    • MikeS

      Whenever I see talk of 32 (or whatever) hour work weeks, part of me wants to see it happen.

      • kinnath

        I am not interested in taking a 20% pay cut.

      • UnCivilServant

        You can have it with a 20% pay cut and loss of all benefits.

      • MikeS

        It was a throw away comment about weekends being too short. Forty hour week is just fine with me. Especially since mine usually ends around noon on Friday.

      • UnCivilServant

        They won’t pay me for any hours worked past 37.5

      • R.J.

        I am salaried. I would love to only work 40 hours a week.

      • UnCivilServant

        I wish I were salaried. I’m “Overtime Exempt” which is the worst of both worlds. I don’t get paid past my contract hours, but they can dock me if I go under.

    • westernsloper

      I took an extra long weekend due to recent previous weekends. My Monday starts Tuesday.

      Also…..Glibfit update: I have ate like shit for the past three weeks due to convenience and laziness. That ends tomorrow. Tomorrow I also need to rework the bunks on my boat trailer since it won’t easily work for some boat takeouts on my river.

  22. R C Dean

    Mrs. Dean and I celebrated our 25th in June.

    This fact alone is sufficient proof that we are in a simulation, and not only that, it’s being run for my personal benefit.

    • UnCivilServant

      To what end?

      It seems like a waste of resources, lets switch it off.

    • Shpip

      Dang, I gotta remember that line for our thirtieth.

      • slumbrew

        I suspect my wife would attempt to murder me for posting the (hilarious) image you did.

        Imma go with R C Dean’s line as well.

  23. Brochettaward

    People down belolw are celebrating their slavery to the matriarchy. I’m all the way up here celebrating Firsting.

    • slumbrew

      ¿Que?

      Down below where?

      • Brochettaward

        I am out here questing…neigh! SOLVING the Riddle Of First. How inconsequential could your slave-status to the matriarchy be by comparison?

      • slumbrew

        First isn’t strong, boy. Flesh is stronger!

        That is strength, boy! That is power! What is a first compared to the hand that wields it? Look at the strength in your body, the desire in your heart. I gave you this! Such a waste.

        Contemplate this on The Tree Of Woe.

      • Shirley Knott

        I go away for a while. I come back. Bro’s still off his meds.
        He’s not even first on my little list of commenters I wouldn’t miss.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        He admits to being a little tetched in the head, seriously.

    • CPRM

      They should just merge with the MWC, that way the remnants of the Pac-12 can go undefeated, and they gain Vegas, which can bring in the Bucs, er Bucks, er money.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Undefeated? Is Boise State leaving already?

      • CPRM

        UNLV went from LEGEND coach John Robinson to some guy who had been a high school coach, to someone even worse once the Al Davis Memorial Dome For Guys That Run Fast opened. Even the Blew Fielders could win.

  24. CPRM
    • Suthenboy

      I. have been going Indian for 40 years….does that mean I dont have to get up?

      • Shirley Knott

        Sooner or later your bladder will force you to,

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean and Suthen!

      I shower at night (and put on my clean undies* after) so I can spend my early morning hanging out with the early morning Glibs!

      *And FRESHLY clean today because Sunday was laundry day!

      • Shirley Knott

        Mornin’ GT!

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, Shirley! 😃

      • Grosspatzer

        Mornin’, reprobates!

        I’ve always had this weird feeling that something important was missing here. Now that we are discussing underwear I feel much better. Nice clean polka-dotted briefs today.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, ‘patzie! Just wait until the battle lines are drawn over the Correct Style of underwear! ::adds ‘patzie’s name to “Briefs” side of Official Vote Tally::

      • rhywun

        Plaid boxers or GTFO.

      • UnCivilServant

        You may leave and take your uncomfortable underwear with you. If it doesn’t prevent adhesion to the inner thigh, it’s no good.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::updates tally sheet::

  25. Gender Traitor

    Looks as if today I’m FINALLY going to get the swimsuit top whose matching bottom (ordered at the same time but inexplicably shipped separately) was delivered this past Wednesday. Took it almost six days to reappear when UPS handed it off to the USPS in suburban Columbus. 🙄 Ah, well – First World problem solved!

  26. UnCivilServant

    Woohoo! I won the lottery!

    What should I do with my $25?

    • John Nerfherder

      Invest in llama futures.

      • Not Adahn

        Good advice. With sea level rise, llamas are going to be the main livestock left in existence.

    • Gender Traitor

      How many more tickets can you buy with that? Let it ride, baby! 🤑

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Buy more tickets of course.

      • Fourscore

        Scratch-offs so you don’t have to wait to lose your money

    • Grosspatzer

      Buy a new pair of driving gloves?

      *checks prices*

      OK, maybe a new pair of socks?

      • Gender Traitor

        Underwear!

        But which kind?

  27. Fourscore

    Starting to cool off, beginning of the end of summer. A little rain yesterday.

    • Suthenboy

      Send some of that down here. Jeebus, I see half grown trees dying all around here.