Thursday Afternoon Favors Repaid Links

by | Aug 31, 2023 | Daily Links | 274 comments

Tonio helped me out of a tight spot Monday. I apparently have eye herpes in my left eye and can expect random recurrences of excruciating (jesse.in.mb would tell me I’m not being crucified) feeling like my eye is being stabbed with a knitting needle for the rest of my life. Yaay. I added to the list of things I never want to hear again: “we may have to have [the surgeon] take a laser to that eye.” And that was an unexpected addition to having the dermatologist take a hot poker to some questionable skin cells on my back. He laughed at me and said my Irish skin in Florida was going to make me a customer for life.

Anyhow, now that modern chemistry has brought it down to a dull blurriness, I am picking up Tonio’s links so he can entertain his beau on a nature excursion.  And happy to do it. My vision quest was obviously successful since (a) I can mostly see out of my left eye and (b) the hurricane went somewhere else. I hope everyone else’s week has been improving as it goes along.

Howdy Doody is my copilot? Seems like you have to put up with a lot of bullshit to pull that off.

It can’t be the weird eyebrow tattoo that caused police to search her car.

News from the goatee-Spock universe.

I’m not sure if using Greek font in Outlook actually counts as obscuring information.

More sensible reading of the 2A.

 

This one is in heavy rotation around the house right now.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

274 Comments

  1. Common Tater

    How many bodies do you have??

  2. Common Tater

    Wow, that pic huge.

    • R.J.

      Actual size of Brett’s eye.

  3. SDF-7

    I suppose not everyone can have attack eyebrows. Hope it goes away soon, Brett. Good luck (we’re all counting on you…)

      • SDF-7

        Yeah.. but those look like Civil War eyebrows… one is tame but the other side is trying to secede from the forehead. Nothing on Capaldi’s.

      • Sean

        Nothing on Capaldi’s.

        That was the pic I had been expecting.

  4. Common Tater

    I hope you are better soon. How did you catch “eye herpes”? So I know not to do that thing.

    • Sean

      It’s a spin on the old “you’ll shoot your eye out.”

      Wear safety glasses at the orgy.

    • SDF-7

      SWAMP SMITH VISIT BRETT L TO SHOOT THE BREEZE… AND BY BREEZE — MEAN BRETT’S FACE.

      • Aloysious

        Does SWAMP SMITH ever get swamp ass?

        Or is that what SWAMP SMITH only gives?

        I’m gonna need lots of funding to study this fascinating subject.

      • SDF-7

        SWAMP SMITH ALWAYS OKEFENOKEE FRESH!

      • rhywun

        Eeew!

        /teenage girl

    • Robonerfherder

      Contrary to Florida Man public opinion, you’re not supposed to look through the glory hole..

    • Shpip

      How did you catch “eye herpes”?

      Lookin’ for love in all the wrong places.

  5. SDF-7

    It can’t be the weird eyebrow tattoo that caused police to search her car.

    If that’s a gang tattoo (because it sure reads like she was dealing), that’s an…. odd gang of “thots”.

    And if she was sincere… well, I have to say she has rather an inflated opinion of herself (I’m no prize either… but I’m not going to get “hottie stud” tattoo’d anywhere visible like a moron).

    • Nephilium

      I was on the road a couple weeks back, and saw a bumper sticker on the back of an SUV saying, “MILFing ain’t easy”. As I passed the car, I looked over, and the sticker was right. The driver definitely fell short on the MILF part of MILFing.

      • SDF-7

        She just thought the F was “Forego”.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        And it was unnecessary? 🎵

    • EvilSheldon

      So yeah, you’d think that drug crews would have the common sense to keep some preppie white guys on the payroll to do their trafficking…

      I’m curious what this violent crime was, that she possessed a weapon during the commission of…

  6. grrizzly

    How did they find at least two people among Michigan government bureaucrats who are familiar with the Greek alphabet?

    • SDF-7

      Former Lambda Lambda Lambdas and… Omega Mus?

  7. SDF-7

    News from the goatee-Spock universe.

    Oooh… studies! Like all the ones talking about mask effectiveness that turned out to be bullshit?

    And the climate ones… that turned out to be bullshit?

    And the room temperature superconductor ones that I didn’t follow up on… but I’m pretty sure are bullshit?

    Dude — next time just take a picture of Watusi in the car and post it instead of your column. It would be more honest.

    • blighted_non_millenial

      And shitty op eds w/o a comment section are an affront to God and man.

      • R.J.

        Those are called “diatribes.”

      • Bobarian LMD

        And having your article get blown out by the commentariat makes you start to look like TOS.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        So, LAT gets hit By SHAT?

    • rhywun

      Apparently, the evil Spock universe is full of criminally stupid people who tell blindingly obvious lies.

  8. Common Tater

    The LA Times has consistently been the worst paper on covid.

    The lockdowns did not save millions of lives. One estimate said it decreased 4,000 deaths from covid, but increased 100,000 deaths from other causes.

    • Common Tater

      “COVID cases among Florida children spiked, tripling compared with the pre-reopening period. Overall, Florida ranks 19th among the states in cumulative COVID cases per 100,000 children. (Its record is probably significantly worse, since its figures cover only children up to 14 and most other states’ count kids up to age 19.)”

      So who gives a shit?

      • SDF-7

        Yeah… “cases” just means how forced the testing regimen is to me. Talk to me about real hospitalizations (i.e. OF not WITH) and/or deaths. For statistics about kids, saying “Oh noes… more kids had COVID” to me says “Good… more kids got natural immunity built up and will have stronger immune systems as we go along.” Pertinent info for this asshole.

    • Rat on a train

      The 4,000 were essential. The 100,000 were not.

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      CoVid is not of the body.

  9. Rat on a train

    Lockdowns created or saved millions of lives just like government spending and jobs.

  10. Nephilium

    There’s always the Final Solution to the eye problems.

    • SDF-7

      Talk about blinding me with science….

  11. Sensei

    I’m not sure if using Greek font in Outlook actually counts as obscuring information.

    Seriously, there is no way to search for any non U.S. English character? Bullshit.

    I can imagine me explaining that to my state and federal regulators.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      First you’d have to think of doing such a search. Then the bureaucrat would have to add the keyboard to their computer via the settings. Then they’d have to type the text without fat fingering it despite being unfamiliar with the letters or the keyboard. So yes, it probably can be done, but it’s a lot of hurdles for your average government employee who probably doesn’t want to do it anyway.

      • Sensei

        You don’t even have to do that.

        I can’t install Japanese on my work pc, but I can go to a page with the Japanese character set and cut and paste them into the application of my choice.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Can you rename my drives from “master/slave”?

    • grrizzly

      I can easily search for Russian words in my Outlook. If you know which combination of Greek letters to search for, you could search for Flint spelt with Greek letters.

    • Common Tater

      Apparently, it prevented searching for keywords such as “Flint”.

  12. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    My, what big eye you have.

    • PutridMeat

      Is it brown?

      • slumbrew

        My friend long-ago insisted “Brown Eyed Girl” was in reference to… that brown eye and I can never not think of that when I hear the song.

      • Sensei

        Next thing you’ll tell me is the Rolling Stones aren’t talking about brown sugar.

    • Bobarian LMD

      The better to eye-fuck you with, my dear!

  13. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Face Tattoo Girl: I could change her I think, I mean I’ve seen worse, and a little powder’d cover that unfortunate tattoo no problem.

    • Drake

      That’s her problem – she hasn’t met her white knight!

      Not that she’s left a trail of shivved white knights in her wake.

    • Aloysious

      Never white knight. It will ruin your life.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Good news, everyone!

    The Biden administration will put up to $12 billion into converting auto manufacturing facilities into plants for hybrid and electric vehicles, it announced Thursday.

    Automakers will be able to receive loans or grants to convert their factories into those that make plug-in electric, hybrid, or hydrogen fuel cell vehicles, Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm told reporters Thursday.

    A total of $10 billion will come from the Energy Department’s Loan Program Office and an additional $2 billion coming from Inflation Reduction Act grants. The loan program was also bolstered by the Democrats’ climate, tax and health care bill.

    The Department will also make an additional $3.5 billion available for domestic battery manufacturing that was made possible by the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law.

    ——-

    The Energy Department said that both sets of funding announced Thursday will prioritize good working conditions, including facilities that pay high wages and commit to retaining or expanding collective bargaining agreements. However, there will be no specific requirements needed to get the funding, Betony Jones, the director of the office of energy jobs confirmed.

    A trillion here, a trillion there, pretty soon you’re smack dab in Utopia.

    • Sean

      Battery powered Utopia.

      • Not Adahn

        Was that by Duran Duran or the Dresden Dolls?

      • Bobarian LMD

        I think it’s a category on Porn-Hub.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        Great. you reminded me of Amanda FUCKING Palmer.

        Day, ruined.

    • SDF-7

      Solyndra Mark XIV…. sigh.

      I could rant about how FedGov has zero business fucking with the market, that Elites obviously don’t believe in capitalism, democracy, republics or anything beyond the Technocratic Dictatorial State and how it is a complete betrayal of the country and Western Civilization for all their claims of progress…. but y’all know it, and I don’t need to say it.

      Just so damned frustrating… And dollars to donuts Granholm (or a family member) is on a board of someone about to profit from this largess….

      • Pope Jimbo

        Especially since they are sure that they can produce any result with right amount of spending, taxes and credits.

        There are some problems that basic physics and/or resource limitations will prevent from being solved the “DC Way”.

        The amount of rare earth minerals needed to create enough batteries to meet the needs of just the US are beyond what is available. It would be just as effective to make math easier by announcing that you are making $12B available for rounding pi to 3. The money will be gone and you still won’t be able to divide the circumference of a circle by its diameter rationally.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        The powers that be really and truly thought that MMT would work, that Climate Change is an extistential threat, and that Internationalism is the only way forward.

        That the first was proven so intensly wrong, no one outside their clique gives an appropriate shit about the climate, and that nationalism keeps popping up like whack-a-mole around the word is driving them banana’s. And they are going to ever greater lengths around the world but especially the EU and whatever the powers behind the throne here in the US are calling themselves, to make sure that their greatest fears aren’t realized.

        BRICS are the proof, in their eyes, of satan come to life.

    • rhywun

      What if I don’t feel like paying for the left’s cult?

    • Robonerfherder

      Just wait till you see their solutions for that pesky lack of demand.

  15. Not Adahn

    941 grams of fentanyl, 20 grams of meth, one Glock pistol and one SKS rifle

    Smart, keep the cheap guns in the car in case you need to ditch them.

    • Cowboy

      Sadly, SKS aren’t as cheap as they once were. Still regretting not stocking up on them and not picking up a crate of moist nuggets.

      • Sean

        #metoo

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      SKS is the second best rifle ever made, right after the Lee Enfield.

      • DEG

        Ahem. Which Lee-Enfield? And what about the Lee-Metford? There were elenvty-billion variants all with different designations probably intended to drive collectors and supply clerks and armorers insane.

        Though on the other hand…. the Schmidt-Rubin series (except the 1889) is superior.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        There is a reason I simply said “Lee Enfield”: Lee action with Enfield rifling. Done. (Speed patents are nice, though unnecessary)

        Not a fan of the Schmidt. but I will admit to coming of age when they had all been bastardized with rechambering.

      • DEG

        The Lee-Metford rifle, Lee-Metford Carbine, MLE, and LEC don’t have charger loading. The SMLE Mk I series introduced charger loading (well, there was an India pattern that had charger loading like the SMLE Mk I, but I can’t remember if that was introduced before or after the SMLE Mk I) using a sliding charger guide which was fragile and prone to breakage in the field.

        The SMLE Mk II ConD is just a Long Lee converted to the SMLE Mk I pattern.

        The SMLE Mk III and SMLE Mk IV ConD series are just too complicated to count though they are nice rifles.

        So… while I like Lees and own several examples of the abovementioned types, these can’t be in the running.

        The No. 4 is a good solid rifle. The No. 5 is rather punishing to shoot.

        I still have not shot any of the .22 conversions I’ve acquired, but I think they will be fun to shoot.

        I’ve only shot Schmidt-Rubins in the GP-11 variant of 7.5mm Swiss. They’re simpler than the Lee series and I really like the straight pull action. I like the sights on the No. 4 better than all of the Schmidt-Rubin series, so the No. 4 has that going for it, but overall I like the Schmidt-Rubin series better.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        Oh, I know that there are numerous variants, off all ages and all points of the empire, but I loves them all! (except the damn Jungle Carbine, as you say)

        Some Schmidt-Rubins imported in the early eighties had, by SARCO if I remember right, the chamber recut for 7.62, which, while close, doen’t really work (much of the same type of problems happens when English bicycle companies tried to use French components – breakage occurs, in unfunny ways), and they had a bad rep for along time. Also, Schmidt-Rubins don’t really have the romance of battle. But they did have some nice diopter sights, so they got that going for them, which is nice.

      • DEG

        I like all the Lees too… just I like the Schmidts better.

        I remember reading on Swiss rifle boards about some being converted for other calibers because of the difficulty in finding 7.5mm Swiss. I think Waffenfabrik Bern made versions in .30-06, for Swiss expat gun clubs in Mexico if I remember correctly.

        The conversions were pretty badly done from what I heard.

      • Suthenboy

        Circumcision, pizza crust, pizza ingredients, boxers or briefs…..we already have so many important debates raging that I have a hard time keeping up.
        Now best rifles? Good grief.

        Winchester 1894 for the win. It isn’t even debatable. Well, anything designed by St. Browning really…

      • EvilSheldon

        No lever gun has been in contention for the best rifle since the invention of smokeless powder.

      • Animal

        Suthenboy, I love ya man, you know I do, and I love the 1894 Winchester too. But the pre-64 Model 70 will always be the Rifleman’s Rifle.

      • Common Tater

        I have one in 30-06 that due to the aquatic nature of whitetail I lost in a tragic boating accident. People say it’s the most reliable bolt gun, but pretty much all bolt guns are reliable.

      • Suthenboy

        In all seriousness the American Mauser knockoffs are damned good rifles. I have a few Rugers and Winchesters in 25-06, 30-06, 338 win mag, 375 H&H and 458 win mag.
        Ii wouldn’t pass up another one at a decent price.

        I am still sticking with my ’94 for every day use and hunting. 375 Winchester is an excellent round for such.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        As they say, Germans make the best hunting rifles, Americans make the best target rifles, and the English make the best battle rifle.

        While I do have a Mauser in .30-06, it is going on the block soon. But nothing will replace my interwar Commercial BSA in .303. I have been around enough American guns in my lifetime, but not one of them are of that level of quality.

      • Not Adahn

        Cowboy Nationals is at the club across the street from me. Ruger is bringing the new Marlin 1894 to demo.

      • Suthenboy

        Chambered in…..? I played with one in 30-30 and it felt 2x as heavy as the Winchester. Also, it was a bit front-heavy.

      • Not Adahn

        .44 mag

      • Suthenboy

        Elmer Keith approves.

  16. Not Adahn

    Obviously I survived my date with Inappropriately Young Woman (though she does pass the (age/3)+7 test) and I appear to have both kidneys (unless she was subtle enough to leave a dummy behind in its place).

    The weirdest part is… I’m not going to share the entertaining anecdotes from the evening because I kinda want to keep her around.

    • Red Pill Matt

      Is that a typo? I was under the impression it was age/2 + 7

      • Sensei

        Same rule of thumb thought. Kids these days…

      • Not Adahn

        Some people are bigger prudes than others.

      • Sensei

        I don’t have the money to live the Leonardo DiCaprio lifestyle.

        Plus as I tell my wife dating a 20 something would basically kill me. At 10:30pm I want to be getting ready to relax and be home and not deciding the first place we’re going to go out to visit and party.

      • Robonerfherder

        10:30?

        I turn into a pumpkin at 9:15.

        What is this o’dark thirty business all about?

      • Tundra

        That and the way they talk. Vocal fry and uptalk would kill me.

        I had to turn off Malice’s interview with the Libs of TikTok chick because of her voice.

      • Not Adahn

        She uses standard English and pronunciation! And she fully types out her words and correctly punctuates!

      • slumbrew

        Clearly she’s going for the long-con.

        Both kidneys and your liver.

      • Common Tater

        “I had to turn off Malice’s interview with the Libs of TikTok chick because of her voice.”

        Really?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Remember Sarah Vowell? And Ira Glass? NPR, home of vocal idiosyncrasies.

      • Tundra

        Really?

        Yeah. Nails on a chalk board. It happens with dude’s voices sometimes, as well.

        Not everyone can sound like Kathleen Turner or Mike Rowe.

      • Common Tater

        She sounded fine to me.

      • Mojeaux

        sound like Kathleen Turner

        Brought to you by Virginia Slims Menthol.

      • Gender Traitor

        Not everyone can sound like Kathleen Turner or Mike Rowe.

        I might be able to come pretty close, if I do say so myself.

        But I’m not going to say to which one. 🙄

      • EvilSheldon

        The last time I dated a girl that young, she legitimately didn’t know who Aerosmith was.

      • Tundra

        The last time I dated a girl that young, she legitimately didn’t know who Aerosmith was.

        If Mrs. T dumps me there is no way I’m looking younger than 50. I may actually retire, come to think of it.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        At this point, there is only one way out, and I will hold off on that as long as possible.

      • Mojeaux

        Pfffttt.

        I cut my teeth on May-December Harlequin romances when I was a wee adolescent. In my 15yo mind, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a 36yo CEO falling in love with an 18yo ingenue. NOTHING, I TELL YOU!!!

      • UnCivilServant

        And what if the dude isn’t in a high-status occupation, and isn’t particularly attractive?

      • slumbrew

        1. Be Attractive.

        2. Don’t be unattractive.

      • Mojeaux

      • SDF-7

        It puts the lotion on its skin….

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        Is a very, very good comedian, or in a famous rock and roll band.

      • slumbrew

        Alright alright alright!

        “That’s what I love about these high school college girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”

        The students have returned.

        Topical, for those who spent some college years in the Boston area (or just want to know what ‘Storrowing’ means):

        https://twitter.com/MassDCR/status/1694450259420717300

      • Not Adahn

        Dammit, I do not feel December! I feel mid to late September at most!

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        OK, Grandpa.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        25, I like this new math. Who am I kidding, I couldn’t handle a 34 yo from the old math.

      • DEG

        For me, the (age/3) + 7 gives a wider range, and all above the legal drinking age.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        It puts the available choices all over 24 for me, so, I got that going for me, which is nice.

      • PutridMeat

        I WAS ASSURED ABOVE THAT THERE WOULD BE NO MATH!!!!

      • Suthenboy

        Oh….yeah I have heard that one before. “If she is old enough to go to the store alone she is old enough to get bred.
        I make my own bread and stick to the math.
        *30 years into a happy marriage with a woman who is 10 years older than I am.

    • SDF-7

      You never know… if we didn’t manage to scare NPR Lady away (yet).. this lassie may be tougher than ya think.

      • Not Adahn

        I thought NPR lady didn’t read this.

      • SDF-7

        I thought he’d shared some of it and she’d met several of us. Seemed like a trial by fire already, anyway.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Compiling a dossier?

    • slumbrew

      (age/3)+7

      Hey now!

  17. Sean

    I don’t know why people like me yelling at them. They clearly must, ‘cuz they keep doing stupid shit.

    >.>

  18. Mojeaux

    @Mikey … I’m sorry that you are wrong about Skittle eating.

    • mikey

      I just can’t fathom someone sorting skittles by color before eating. Seems really weird.
      /ADHD

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Fuckin people, man. Fuckin people and their battery pack mini impact drivers. You do not need to hammer an 8mm driveshaft flange bolt to 60 pounds of torque, motherfucker.

    I have been obsessing about the noise coming from the rear of the Element which sounds like a wheel bearing on its way out. However, I finally pulled the stupid hubcaps off, which are captured by the wheel nuts themselves and not just clipped to the wheel in order to do temperature reading at the hub. No evidence of the amount of heat one would expect from a bad bearing.

    Today, I pulled the driveshaft off, to see if I have a bad u-joint (probably- tyherear is pretty stiff, but it’s not gravelly, yet. The center bearing seems fine.

    Interestingly enough, when I have the thing in the air, in neutral, it takes quite a bit of force to turn the driveshaft. It kind of feels like the center diff is a viscous coupling. Of course I can find no useful info on the intertoobus.

    As for the noise? Maybe it really is just tire noise. I have been telling myself that for a year.

    • Robonerfherder

      Rotate your tires and find out.

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      Better the battery pack than someone with and air compressor. At least one is semi-silent.

      • Mojeaux

        Hey. You leave my cheap Porter pancake air compressor alone. I ❤️ it.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        I have a complete hatred of pneumatic tools, and compressors. Electric brushless, or hand operated for me.

      • Tundra

        Starting to get that way, too. I don’t do much finish carpentry any more, but if I did I would invest in the quietest cordless guns. I get headaches even with ear protection.

    • Common Tater

      Can you record the Bahamian Hollering for me?

      • Robonerfherder

        That might be difficult from my coffin, but I’ll give it a shot.

  20. Tundra

    Geez, Brett. Sorry about the eye.

    Glad the hurricane skipped you, though.

    More sensible reading of the 2A.

    Absolutely. Can’t wait to see the EOs that this will spark.

    • Not Adahn

      …is that a stormtrooper helmet in the flag cerakote on the deagle?

      • Tundra

        Maybe if you squint.

        Fucking ugly, regardless.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Rotate your tires and find out.

    That’s probably coming. Although I’m not sure it would matter; they’re ll the same.

    It wouldn’t hurt to do a rear alignment. I doubt the factory calls for visible negative camber, which it currently has.

    • SDF-7

      Then make sure you cut him off and let him figure out how to acquire “according to his needs” by his lonesome, Elon.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Probably owes child support through college.

    • one true athena

      Crossroads is a commie school unquestionably. It is also where the daughter of a friend went until she was mercilessly bullied and the admin did nothing. Fuck that place.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I remember a young Jack Osbourne being dropped off there by his nanny. (No offence to adult JO.)

  22. Derpetologist

    Kudos to whiz for his excellent proof. I emailed it to a professor of number theory at UFL. Also, some nuclear power plant in Pennsylvania wants to do a phone interview with me. If all goes well, my next job will be reactor operator. The pay is very good. It seems the course of my life is to continually fail upward. Our dear friend tarran is a former Navy nuclear propulsion officer, if I recall correctly.

    I emailed my book to a few literary agents yesterday. I have a list of about 140 and I have 130 more to contact. In the meantime, I’ve been pimping my autobiography on Facebook. So far, four people have requested to read it.

    I am off to eat local BBQ to celebrate.

    Future me, artist’s depiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Z1Hl67fNt0

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      👍

    • whiz

      The math prof probably could come up with (or already knows) a more elegant proof, especially if his specialty is number theory. Anyway, it was fun to work it out.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Gates, one of the world’s richest men, has been at the center of unfounded conspiracy theories involving the COVID-19 pandemic and the development of a vaccine.

    Unfounded. Disinformation.

    • Mojeaux

      I don’t play video games.

      I have at least 2 original soundtracks I love from video games I don’t play. I don’t know how I came to find them, but I’d love more.

      • Mojeaux

        That’s lovely.

      • Mojeaux

        A lot of what you’re posting, I hear the same chord progression over and over again, in bits and bobs. I thought it was unique to “ABC,” but I don’t listen to Japanese pop/ish at all so I didn’t know it was a thing.

      • Sensei

        So almost at a Rick Roll, but not quite…

      • Mojeaux

        THANK YOU!!!! I love David Bennett Piano.

      • rhywun

        I have a bunch of videogame soundtracks.

        Here is a recent favorite.

      • Sensei

        Very interesting! How is game?

        I’d never heard of it, but it is well reviewed on Steam.

      • rhywun

        I loved it, but I’m not the HARDCORE gamer a lot of you are. It’s more about “atmosphere” than git gud skilz.

        But I finished it (a rarity)… twice (even more rare).

      • Sensei

        That’s my preference as well.

        Although I don’t mind a good mindless FPS. I did get my start playing Doom on a 486 over a modem with a friend.

    • Mojeaux

      I’ll see your “Idol” and raise you “ABC”.

  24. Common Tater

    “The investigation into Abernathy’s alleged “drug-selling activities” was conducted by the sheriff’s office, Spartanburg County Narcotics Unit, Spartanburg County Home Detention, Spartanburg County ICE Team, Homeland Security Investigations, Cherokee County Sheriff’s Office, South Carolina Law Enforcement Division and Union County Sheriff’s Office.”

    Did you bring enough guys?

    • slumbrew

      Note that she didn’t have the drugs on her – after the traffic stop, they got a warrant for her storage unit. As you do.

      ” possession of a weapon during the commission of a violent crime.”

      the violent crime of having a bunch of drugs in a storage unit?

      • SDF-7

        Huh?

        after a traffic stop revealed 941 grams of fentanyl, 20 grams of meth, one Glock pistol and one SKS rifle,

        then later in the article:

        After the traffic stop, authorities obtained a search warrant for a storage unit Abernathy used. At the unit, they found 531 grams of fentanyl, three handguns and four “long guns,” the SCSO said.

        I don’t know how to read that other than she had the first set of stuff at the stop that the Mobile 4th Amendment Violator signaled on, then post-warrant they found the second set in the storage unit. What am I missing?

      • R.J.

        Well, maybe let her off with a warning and tell her those SKS rifles mess up a lot, she would be better with something else.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, they’re prone to slam fires but I can see she’s fine with living dangerously.

      • Fourscore

        I’ve shot a few deer with an SKS. I mess up more often that the Chinese model. I understand that some of the Rooski models have rough chambers and don’t eject on occasion.

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      Maybe he just wants to train them with her?

  25. The Late P Brooks

    I’ve already sent him a downpayment.

    I’d rather have these guys

  26. The Late P Brooks

    I have a complete hatred of pneumatic tools, and compressors. Electric brushless, or hand operated for me.

    I don’t use air impacts, but my air die grinders on fab projects? Something something cold dead hands.

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      Yeah, anything that takes a compressor is verboten in my eyes.

    • Drake

      They can’t let him get reelected and lawfare isn’t working.

      • Not Adahn

        Meh, assassinating him would be stupid and guarantee a GOP victory.

      • Gustave Lytton

        GOP-E win wouldn’t be much better than a D win.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        I will take anything better for $200 Alex!

    • rhywun

      Why not both?

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      We didn’t assassinate him and it’s a darn good thing we did. For Our Democracy.

    • rhywun

      LOL I was expecting #3 to make an appearance.

    • R.J.

      You know this to be true…

    • Suthenboy

      I nearly pissed myself when I scrolled past them all and landed on #9.

  27. Pope Jimbo

    I want to know why Bret didn’t take me for a spin on his boat when I visited him in Tampa Bush.

  28. Suthenboy

    Are people really going to buy into this cootie bug horse shit again?

    • Sensei

      They won’t know until they try and wreck a few more lives.

      But omelette and eggs and good chance they were undesirable anyway.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Yes

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Are people really going to buy into this cootie bug horse shit again?

      “Never underestimate the power of human stupidity”

      — St. Heinlein

      • Ownbestenemy

        As long as I get a $20 gift certificate I’ll lock down again! /idiots

  29. Pope Jimbo

    I will definitely not be letting these people affiliate their church with mine. Not because I care that much about LGBQ stuff, but because I know deep down they are happier being oppressed than being accepted.

    Earlier this year at the Evangelical Covenant Church’s annual conference, Alyssa Paulson stood in front of delegates denomination-wide. She was there to defend her church.

    “You think that if you can just get them to see, like, ‘Hey, here I am just another human bopping around in this world … then the rest won’t matter,” Paulson said later.

    Awaken West 7th in St. Paul, where she is an elder, was removed from the Evangelical Covenant Church, or ECC, in late June. The removal was due to being “out of harmony” with the denomination’s policies and teachings on homosexuality and gay marriage.

    Not being a very religious person at all, I have no idea why being part of a bigger church is such a big deal. Just run your own church the way you want and stop whinging.

    * Of course, I’d let them join the Church of Jimbo – but they’d have to double tithe.

    • Robonerfherder

      Just go Presbyterian. It’s easier that way.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Once you go Presbyterian you’ll never be queer again?

    • Suthenboy

      “I have no idea why being part of a bigger church is such a big deal. ”

      It isn’t about them being part of a bigger church. It is about destroying that bigger church.

    • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

      Pretty much every faith is starting to shatter along these lines.

  30. Pope Jimbo

    News you can use

    Starting in September, Dairy Queen will be slashing Blizzard prices to just 85 cents for two weeks!

    To celebrate the year the Blizzard was invented (1985) the ice cream chain is offering an 85-cent small Blizzard to DQ app users from Sept. 11 through Sept. 24.

    Customers are encouraged to download the DQ App and sign up for DQ Rewards to access the limited-time deal.

    The deal also coincides with three new Blizzard flavors released by the chain for fall, including newly added Pumpkin Pie and Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough flavors. Returning flavors include caramel fudge cheesecake, Oreo hot cocoa and chocolate-dipped strawberry Blizzards.

    I don’t even want to know how you skittle-sorting weirdos eat Blizzards.

    • Mojeaux

      They don’t do my flavor in the app, the rat bastards.

    • slumbrew

      I have never been to Dairy Queen.

      • Pope Jimbo

        What the Dilly Bar?!?!!?!?!

        DQ is the best. It had some competition when A&W used to still have drive ins.

      • Mojeaux

        Is it my imagination, or does A&W’s root beer not taste as good as it used to?

      • Sensei

        The internet alleges they fucked with vanilla flavor.

        There is a NYS class action lawsuit about it.

      • Pope Jimbo

        When I was growing up, the A&W’s was just across the street from the giant park complex where we hung out all summer. The park had ball fields, tennis and basketball courts and a few playgrounds.

        The root beer at A&W’s tasted awesome because it was always something you would go get after playing all day. It was like 90 cents for a quart of root beer that came in a waxed cardboard carton. Even when we didn’t have cars, we’d hit he walk up window and the loiter on the sidewalk.

        Of course it doesn’t taste as good now. Life isn’t as simple and fun as it was then.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        A&W still has drive-ins here, and DQ isn’t worth eating their corn.

        Don’t even mention Sonic to me.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The one in Sweet Home is one of the few surviving longtime locations and its better than most, usually. The rest are recent franchisees. Still a number of former buildings standing.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        I think there are one or two over on the east side of the state, Ontario or out in LaGrand. But, it was the one in Sweet Home I was thinking about.

        Still, DQ sucks.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Florence, forgot that one.

        Used be a lot fewer DQs too. They were more of a small town thing. The only one I remember in the mid valley was the one in Philomath. And the expensive one outside of Toledo which had chili burgers.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Was, when dilly bars were made onsite. Not any more.

      • Mojeaux

        I will still get chocolate-dipped cones. Those will do in a pinch.

      • Suthenboy

        “It’s the best”

        The last one I was in a DQ was nearly 40 years ago. Natchez, Ms. I sat down at a window booth and unwrapped my hamburger. That bench was greasy, the table top was greasy and the floor littered with crumbs and other food scraps. I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye just as I discovered a hair in my food. Turning tot he right to see what the motion was I discovered the largest palmetto bug I had ever seen on the window, staring at my hamburger and I swear it was rubbing it’s front two paws together in anticipation.

        I have never been back to a Dairy Queen.

        *For those unfamiliar with palmetto bugs: https://cdn.branchcms.com/7a9NPRODgB-1191/images/palmetto-bug-in-greenville-sc.jpg
        They are about 2 to 2.5 inches long.

      • Suthenboy

        Recent observation: It seems those darned kids today mostly dont know what a root beer float is. I make one at home nearly every day. It used to be one of the most popular drinks in the US for many decades. What happened?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Rootbeer floats are why I said A&W used to be able to compete.

        Yeah, no idea why the punks of today don’t appreciate a good float.

      • Nephilium

        Must be regional. Here several of the breweries make their own in house root beer (non alcoholic, although there is generally an adult variation with a shot of liquor in it), and will generally have a root beer float as a dessert option.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Every time I visited my grandma first thing we would do is go get a A&W root beer float.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Butterscotch has disappeared as a flavor. Changing tastes.

      • Robonerfherder

        I’ll bet Joe offers Wurther’s to the children after he fondles them.

      • rhywun

        Good. Butterscotch has always been disgusting.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Uffda. I just eat ice cream at DQ. I have probably only eaten any other food there once or twice.

        And I think all the ones I have been in have minimal seating. You are supposed to grab-n-go. You deserve bugs if you are so hoity-toity you want to sit down to eat!

      • Suthenboy

        A. The advent of synthetic vanilla flavoring.
        B. Cow’s milk instead of goat’s milk for ice cream.

        The world was once a better place.

      • Tundra

        Preach!

        I fucking loved DQ. My Grandma lived a couple blocks away from the one on Southview in South St. Paul. Walk up, no inside seating, closed winters.

        I can’t even imagine how many cones, freezes and Dilly Bars I consumed.

        It truly was a better time.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Frozen stuff is great, hot dogs are good, the rest is lacking but the ice cream and slushes and whatnot makes it worthwhile.

      • Ted S.

        We don’t have a DQ nearby any more. The closest is half an hour away.

      • Gender Traitor

        Now that I’ve had Culver’s frozen custard, I’ll never go back to DQ.

        Today’s local Flavor of the Day. Pint acquired last night. Haven’t started it yet, but I’ll report back if I don’t die of bliss.

    • Gender Traitor

      I don’t even want to know how you skittle-sorting weirdos eat Blizzards.

      Blindfolded?

    • EvilSheldon

      Hey NA, should we hook up for another USPSA match?

      • Not Adahn

        Which one? I’ll be at Iron Sight Nats and the locals here.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        If you read up above, I think he already has a date.

      • Not Adahn

        She doesn’t have a handgun license. Yet.

        Her dad apparently has a gun room.

      • Suthenboy

        Handgun license —-> “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

        Teach the girl safe gun handling and move to a better state.

    • grrizzly

      79g of carbs in a small Blizzard. Sorry, no.

  31. Robonerfherder

    Non-completely overwhelmed me would have loved to go math nerd on all of you.

    But I’m having a slightly rough year.

    *downs wine *

    *heads back to laptop to continue drudgery*

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      🥂

  32. DEG

    My vision quest was obviously successful since (a) I can mostly see out of my left eye and (b) the hurricane went somewhere else.

    🙂

    “The officer wrote him some warnings,” Reiman told the TV channel. “There were some citable issues with that situation. The officer chose to write him a warning and ask him to take the animal back home and leave the city.”

    EXCUSE ME I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA!?!?!

    • Pope Jimbo

      Must have been an ugly bull. If it had been a good looking one, no one would have hassled him.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Yeah, but they got a holiday and a bunch of money out of it, so it was worthwhile.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        And for the sake of argument, let’s say their are kids buried there. How does it compare to the child mortality rate at the time? If you go to any cemetery from those years, you’ll find a shocking number of kids. Well, shocking compared to today’s standards anyway.

      • Tundra

        Yep. There was an old cemetery in my neighborhood. Shocking number of lamb headstones.

      • Zwak , “There is infinite amount of hope in the universe… just not for us.”

        For those reasons, and many more besides, the whole thing was a bunch of BS from the get go. But it did give the Trudyiets a reason to hate on the church and something for the internationalists to rally around.

      • Tundra

        Commies sure do love burning churches.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It got a conversation started and that’s what’s important.

      • Tundra

        Lol

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Is it my imagination, or does A&W’s root beer not taste as good as it used to?

    I had some A&W draft root beer at an A&W restaurant a few years ago and it was so sweet it felt like I had been stabbed in the pancreas. I managed to finish my root beer float, somehow.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Uffda. I just eat ice cream at DQ. I have probably only eaten any other food there once or twice.

    I have eaten at the DQ next door to the Jolly Green Giant, on 90, a couple of times.

  35. Ownbestenemy

    “Non binary” friend of teen over in panties and garter belts with a ‘long’ shirt and I ain’t having it in my house…out you go! Wear some damn clothes

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Hm. That will be a story.

    • Robonerfherder

      Wut…

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Just try to stay out of The Daily Mail.

    • EvilSheldon

      Wait, this is a problem now?

    • Tundra

      Good for you. Your house, your rules

      • DEG

        Seconded.

    • Common Tater

      Pics or it didn’t happen?

    • Not Adahn

      AFAB or AMAB NB?

      It makes a difference.

  36. Evan from Evansville

    Anyone around?

    Went to orientation at the grocery gig today. I have computer training to do tomorrow and Sunday. I made money today. Feels good. Structure is reentering my life. Outpatient is going to officially start soon.

    That’s going to be interesting. I likely need to talk to my best, and in America my only, friend. Humdinger.

    • Tundra

      Good work. You know we want you to win.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Thanks, man. I take slow, goofy steps in my life, but they eventually lead upward. Another broken femur or not.

        It does feel like I should tell you to stop calling me Shirley…

    • Aloysious

      Since you are going to be working around a lot of the young wimminz, remember it’s half your age plus seven. Or one third plus seven. Something like that.

      • Not Adahn

        You’re only as old as the one that you feel.

  37. slumbrew

    Wait, 2 new episodes of Archer dropped yesterday?

    Why wasn’t I informed?!

  38. Suthenboy

    Cant sleep, so I turned on the news…FOX.
    They caved and fired their most popular commenters. Huh. Now they are desperate for ratings and making fools of themselves.
    Latest segment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfnnujU1DUk

    We really do live on planet stupid.