“PROTECC JOE!” Fetterlump bellowed as he crashed through the door to the Oval Office. He scooped Joe up before Finnegan could react and squeezed him in a bearhug; one of his ancient ribs snapped wetly.
“Put him down, John!” Finnegan ordered.
“JOE DANGER! REEEEEEPUBRICANS!” Fetterlump growled, loosening his grip somewhat.
“Yes, John. Republicans bad. But Joe safe.” Finnegan said calmly, attempting to cast soothing word on the brain-damaged giant.
Fetterlump let Joe slither from his arms into his office chair. The lumpen creature burst into tears.
“NO IMPEECH JOE!” Fetterlump blubbered.
“We won’t let them, John,” Finnegan said, patting his arm until he returned to his usual gormless confusion.
“Oh, fuck!” Karine said, wobbling into the room, full of Bud Light and sexual tension. “What’s Lenny doing in here?”
“Karine!” Hunter said, bounding from behind a tactical ficus.
“Not now, Dad!” Finnegan hissed.
“It’s always Hunter Time, babydoll,” he said breezily, patting her rump in passing as he moved in on Karine.
“I’m not talking about him in the press briefing,” Karine said, pointing at the crying Fetterlump. “I already have too much to do today.”
“We all trust you to do your best, Karine,” Finnegan said, glaring at her father grinding his hips as he dance-walked to Karine.
“We all love you, Karine,” Hunter said.
“My chest hurts,” Joe said faintly. “I think he bro-bro-broke something.”
“Please stop crying, Lenny,” Finnegan said to him. “I think we have some Popsicles in the breakroom. Do you want a Popsicle?”
“Can John have red?” John asked in a small voice.
“You can have any color you like,” Finnegan said. “You can even have two.”
Fetterlump giggled and rapidly clapped his hands. He skipped out of the room, making the floor and walls shake ominously as Finnegan followed him.
“Karine,” Hunter said, his erection obvious in his jock strap, “I heard you are single.”
“I love you, my beautiful boy,” Joe said. He began coughing and a little blood came up.
“I love you too, Daddy,” Hunter said, beaming a smile at him. “I love you ten-percent more everyday.”
“Still gold-star, Hunter,” Karine said, half-lidded eyes falling further.
“Try a little meat for once, my darling pescatarian,” he said.
Karine held up her hand as he got closer. “Don’t make me call HR.”
“I fucked the entire HR department; half of them gave up the ass,” Hunter said, his voice pitched seductively.
He was close enough for Karine to smell him now, sweat and crack smoke, a deep, almost buried musk that sent a tingle to her nethers.
“Karine, my sweet Black Pudding Pop,” Hunter said, touching her face right under her cheekbone and trailing a finger down to a nipple that he pressed.
Karine vomited on him, forcefully and at length.
Lenny?
I believe a reference to Of Mice and Men.
From Of Mice and Men.
Was that from Of Mice and Men?
Interestingly, I have a physics text which uses those characters throughout.
I’ve heard that’s from Of Mice and Men.
An Of Mice and Men reference.
I’m pretty sure it was an Of Mice and Men reference.
lol
“Squiggy? Squiggy? Is that you?”
I’m thinking that may be a reference to a Steinbeck novel? Can’t remember which one.
My Travels with Charlie?
The Grapes of Wrath
Lenny.
Karine vomited on him, forcefully and at length.
See? I told you she likes Hunter. She’ll have sex with him, it’s just a matter of time.
“…a deep, almost buried musk that sent a tingle to her nethers.”
Seems like. And she proudly mentions being Gold Star. More omens and portents than IFLA.
Of course. All Hunter has to do is introduce her to Cracky…
Dr. Oz wouldn’t have been this entertaining. So we have that at least. >.>
Such an optimist.
No Special Guest Star Hillary Clinton?
So that’s what that button does!
Yes to the blood, no to the sausage?
Karine vomited on him, forcefully and at length.
A perfect finish.
???
I googled it and all I got were gold star families.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold_star_(LGBT_slang)
Oh, the things I learn here.
Is there anything not exclusionary or divisive?
That question is exclusionary and divisive.
The things I learn on Wednesdays.
Trufax.
I now imagine the Hunter Time soundtrack, which is of course different than the standard Hunter (NSFW) soundtrack.
Pudding time is here
Hunter soundtrack
There are HR drones that you need to be really hung to buttbang.
Lumpy FetterSquatch is like the new improved version. Did they do shock treatment on him after that shave?
Does Kamala’s goiter look better or worse after she gained 50 lbs?
If I Didn’t Have a Goiter
Anniversary lunch: https://ibb.co/GPjHX57
Y’all fancy.
Yeup.
That’s probably what I miss most about KC, the food.
I missed it when I lived in Utah. I will never move. Small, pretty unassuming city, but I love it and it’s home.
I lived in Belton. about a half hour south down 17?, 71?
I liked it for those three years.
It was far enough away to be a small town, but close enough to go to the city whenever we wanted.
71, yes.
Congrats. Fine culinary choice.
I’m going to Kansas City, Kansas City,here I come!
Crazy little BBQ, I’m gonna get me some…
Yummy
https://twitter.com/RobProvince/status/1701757349696872456
Ick.
But it’s his car.
It could be yours.
https://rdjdreamcars.com/
Idiocy and moral preening is a bad look.
And yet they seem virtually inseparable.
https://manofmany.com/entertainment/movies-tv/robert-downey-jr-car-auction
The article starts with this:
Then it lists the cars, all of them were once cool, but the changes he made won’t have any “car enthusiast” excited.
Let’s take a very nice ‘vette and make a golf cart out of it.
I’d take the El Camino.
It didn’t scroll past the truck the first time I looked, but the El Camino is kind of cool.
If I had it, I would be saving for a big block upgrade.
The Original Cowboy Cadillac.
“We changed the heart of an American classic, but we left the soul intact.”
No, you most certainly did not.
I watched that episode.
Ehhh, it’s his money. Let him do what he wants.
Sad. He could have done that with a junked vette. But again, it’s his property. He can do as he likes with it.
He’s still a douche.
Sacrilege, blasphemy, apostasy…
Basking in the love of her devoted followers
Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Tuesday made her first public remarks at the White House in more than six years, marking her first open press event at the executive mansion since former President Donald Trump defeated her in the 2016 election.
“This is such a great honor for me to be here,” she said in the East Room.
She joined the current first lady, Dr. Jill Biden, to celebrate the 2023 Praemium Imperiale Laureates, a global prize awarded annually by the Japan Art Association for lifetime achievement in the arts.
During her opening remarks, Biden told Clinton, “It’s an honor to welcome you back to the White House,” a compliment that set off an extended period of applause for Clinton from the crowd.
“Wow, you are so loved,” she said to Clinton when the applause ended.
Poor Herself. But she’s not bitter.
Hillary and Dr. Jill together, how much smug can you fit on one stage?
Oh, you know they hate each other with the heat of a thousand suns.
Is she there to off Biden? Hunter? Kamala? PRobably Kamala. Volunteer to be the VP after her untimely death, then off Joe.
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their bureaucrats
Vivek Ramaswamy believes he has the perfect approach to undermine the administrative state and the power wielded by career civil servants — trigger mass layoffs at federal agencies and defend his effort before the Supreme Court.
Speaking with NBC News ahead of a major policy speech at the America First Policy Institute in Washington, D.C., on Wednesday, where he is scheduled to explain how he would shrink the federal workforce, Ramaswamy, the businessman-turned-candidate, detailed his plans, which include shutting down a series of federal agencies and using “reduction in force” regulations to trim the number of government workers.
“The reality is the adviser class from the D.C. swamp has convinced Republican presidents from Reagan to Trump that they can’t reorganize the federal government or lay off large numbers of federal employees without congressional permission or within federal regulations,” he said. “And we’re going to lay out tomorrow why that view is wrong.”
I say we give it a shot.
I agree. He wouldn’t have to explain shit to the supreme court. Just layoff.
There’s nothing as smart as a man who agrees with you. So I’m starting to think that Vivek may be a secret genius. At the very least, this policy proposal seems to indicate that he’s serious about dismantling the administrative state, and not just getting his beak wet in the Empire’s lifeblood…
I’ve long thought step one should be, not firing the surplus population of bureaucrats, but simply sending them home with no duties, authority, or responsibilities, and no access to government computers. Keep them on the payroll, and they don’t any claims and I don’t think you’ve stepped on the civil service protections.
Step two is to terminate them, once it’s clear they served no useful purpose.
“Milton, while you’re down here….”
Need to create a town to assign them to as well. Somewhere remote and inhospitable.
I like you idea, but I would relocate 90% of DC to each state, and, well, that is a lot of moving. So, change of job duties would be the first thing.
https://tenor.com/view/stop-my-penis-can-only-get-so-erect-archer-hard-boner-meme-gif-8796816935311105293
Sets timer for 4 hours, looks up doctor’s phone number just in case.
I’ll be in my bunk.
The proposals Ramaswamy is putting forward would add up to some of the most sweeping short-term changes ever to the federal government. And he proposes to do large parts of it by executive action, without votes in Congress — which enacted the laws forming agencies Ramaswamy wants to end — reaching far beyond what past Republican administrations concluded were the limits of their power.
No Democrat would ever push through sweeping policy changes without the co-operation of Congress!
Haha. So true.
As the chief executive, the constitution gives him the power to run the executive branch as he sees fit. Congress can’t override the constitution with legislation.
Only a power-mad fascist dictator would drastically reduce the size of his own branch of government.
Congress can if they ceded power to the executive via their law making powers. They can then write legislation taking certain regulatory powers back. But that would mean Congress would have to take responsibility for their actions.
When Biden does keel over in real life, I hope Fetterlump consumes his corpse whole out of grief in our universe.
Fetterman’s fake wrestling reaction to the impeachment inquiry was sad and priceless.
That’s actually Fetterman’s Monster.
LOL
Ramaswamy has been campaigning for months on eliminating federal agencies, with initial targets including the FBI; the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives; the Education Department; the Nuclear Regulatory Commission; and the Food and Nutrition Service within the Agriculture Department. Ramaswamy has said he would effectively shut down or reorganize each of those agencies at the start of his presidency.
Thousands of FBI employees, he said, would be reallocated to other agencies, including the U.S. Marshals Service and the Drug Enforcement Administration.
Put them to work picking up trash in the national parks.
Probably more productive than most of the bureaus.
Let them watch the border.
Exactly. Supply and demand. We have a demand for a, well, not-wide-open border, and we have a supply of LEOs to make that happen.
Plus, I’d love to see the perfumed princes of DC humping a pack through the Sonoran desert chasing coyotes.
“Thousands of FBI employees, he said, would be reallocated to other agencies”
I’m gonna reallocate all over the place if y’all don’t cut it out with the sweet talk.
“Notably, reduction in force regulations, as laid out by the U.S. Office of Personnel Management, include a clear legal process by which career officials can keep jobs in the event of layoffs.”
Start layoffs with that office.
Robert Downey Jr took a mint condition, numbers matching, original paint stingray corvette & copped it up, stripped & repainted, replaced the leather interior with mushroom & converted it to electric…
Put a flat crank 302 and a five speed in it and lighten it, and you’d have something.
So the WH spin for the immigrant disaster is that it is NYC’s fault.
Concern rises in the Biden administration that New York is fumbling its migrant problem, U.S. officials say
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/immigration/biden-administration-worries-new-york-fumbled-migrant-problem-rcna103582
Points for boldness. OTH, I don’t thin they care about NYC or even NYS. Similar to HI are they going to vote for Team Red?
Yeah, they can take them for granted.
See also: Black folks
Speaking of NYC voters: AOC is married when it benefits here, single whien it doesn’t:
https://freebeacon.com/democrats/aoc-cites-longtime-partner-as-spouse-but-keeps-his-finances-under-wraps-a-potential-breach-of-ethics-rules/
“Potential”.
I like that it’s either that, or she lied n her filings about being married.
Confident prediction: Nothing Else Will Happen(tm)
Apropos.
COOL LINK BRO!
It is NYC’s fault. And the FedGov’s fault. Fuck ’em. Start busing them to DC and watch them fumble as well. I am sick of the open borders assholes.
They want to keep them in TX? They want to swamp red states with foreign collectivists? TX should not have to wait for Illegals to remove ankle bracelets.
The state should remove them.
It is Sanctuary City NYC’s fault, What I find amazing is that DC is trying absolve itself here, by blaming NYC.
Exactly, Sensei. It’s only a problem if they think the other party will assume office. Otherwise, they couldn’t care less if the place turned into Detroit On Steroids.
Republicans have sought for years to shrink government and get past bureaucrats they see as hostile to their initiatives, but right-wing efforts to crack down on the civil service have intensified recently. That has been especially true as Trump has painted federal law enforcement as biased against him and as Republicans pilloried officials like Dr. Anthony Fauci, formerly the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, over the role they played in responding to the Covid-19 pandemic.
No way.
Republicans have sought for years to shrink government
And yet it does nothing but grow. Weird.
^THiS^
At least the Republicans managed to kill Obamacare, defund our aid to the Ukraine, and cut the deficit. Wait, what’s that? Well what the fuck good are they then?
John McCains Brain Cancer saved us in the end.
Is The Lump gone? I thought he had to wear a hoodie to hide it.
It migrated to a less conspicuous position.
McConnell’s ass?
The Lump finally merged with Fetterman. They are two-in-one now, indivisible, complete.
As was foretold in the ancient texts.
And it’s whispered that soon
If we all call the tune
Then the Fetterlump will lead us to reason
You said the word!
*Drinks
The Lump says “OOGA BOOGA!”
Just learned a while ago that Alaska’s only Representative, Democrat Mary Peltola, lost her husband this morning in a plane crash somewhere here in the Great Land. I’m forgetting politics for this morning, and I hope my fellow Alaskans will do likewise, and let the Great Land grieve for the loss of Eugene Peltola.
This is one of those moments where politics don’t matter, and I hope people don’t make asses of themselves over this, although some probably will.
Haven’t a couple of politicians died in plane crashes in Alaska? Is it just a lot more dangerous to fly small planes there?
Well, off the top of my head, Nick Begich, who was the Rep from Alaska; he disappeared on a flight from Anchorage to Juneau in a Cessna 310. Senator Ted Stevens was killed when the DHC-3 Otter he was in went down north of Dillingham.
It looks like Eugene Peltola went down in a Piper Super Cub after dropping off a hunter in the wilds somewhere up north. It’s not clear whether he was the pilot or not; bear in mind this just happened yesterday.
Bush planes log a lot of miles up here, and accidents are, shall we say, not unknown.
Ray of sunshine.
A kid posed with his pilot dad in an airplane. Almost 30 years later they recreated the photo
https://www.cnn.com/travel/southwest-father-son-pilot-childhood-photo-recreated/index.html
That’s fantastic.
Speaking of flying, these guys just flew overhead:
https://www.boutiqueair.com/
I’m somewhat mystified why a route between Boston and Massena, NY would be of interest. As far as I can tell, there’s not much in Massena, unless you just really want to be close to Canada.
Interesting to see the differences in the flight deck.
There’s a guy named Charles Phoenix, who does slideshows of old vacation slides and tries to hunt down kitschy and mid century modern styling items. One of the shows I saw, there was a slide of a campsite that had teepees for people to camp in. It was a popular honeymoon location, and the slide was a couple on their honeymoon. Charles was hunting down the location, found it, and visited it decades later. While he was visiting it later (he generally will get a slide of the same item later to show the difference), he met an older couple who were celebrating a milestone wedding anniversary (I forget if it was 40 or 50). It wound up being the same couple that was in the original slide he had, so he asked if they would recreate the picture, and they gladly did.
Really nice story.
Thanks, Sensei!
I missed this on the first read:
pescatarian :a person who does not eat meat but does eat fish.
That one’s amazing.
It’s the little subtleties that make it such a joy to read.
I caught that the first time through. Lovely.
Fetterlump looks like a janitor walking down the hallway. He probably doesn’t have the brains, or the clean background needed dto get a janitor job in that building.
This just crystallized in my head. That stuff about Downey and his cars is just like “vegetarians” who keep trying to come up with fake meat. If you want an electric hot rod, that’s your business, but why make it a copy of an internal combustion production car? Go nuts. Build it as one of those egg cars from “Sleeper”.
What would George Barris do?
I’ll cheerfully take a Rimac
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rimac_Automobili
That said I have no issues with taking a classic car with a destroyed motor that was going to be scrapped or parted and putting it back on the road with an electric drivetrain. Most of the quality conversions I’ve seen are completely reversible.
But that doesn’t have the cleansing effect of taking a cursed item, and turning into a holy vessel of righteousness.
At least electrify something stupid, like a VW Thing or a Pacer.
A classic Vette? That’s just an insult.
The Mimbari put an alternative engine in a Kawasaki and it seemed to work:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4gm0LjEeVw
Woody Allen? UNCLEAN!!!
Market has come to the revelation that Apple is a phone company that is currently facing government uncertainty in one of its most important and growing markets – China.
It’s “new” product consists of a revised version of its watch which is marginally better. Its best phones now cost around $1k. The “new” features are a better camera (as usual) and finally standard USB C.
Who could have seen this coming…
https://www.investors.com/etfs-and-funds/sectors/sp500-apple-investors-already-hate-the-new-iphone-15-more-than-ever/
Who could have seen this coming…
Everyone
Never mind the pressure that they get from the Feds to put in backdoors which certainly does not go unnoticed by Beijing.
And the release ads for the 15 are fucking abominable.
Plus “Wonderlust”. The desire to travel. Not sure what that has to do with a watch and phone.
Smartphones, Apple and otherwise, are passé as hell now. Of course people aren’t creaming their jeans for new versions anymore-What used to be associated with ubertech is now associated with the asshole talking too loudly to his girlfriend at the local shitty fast food joint and goofing off at work.
But the screen is larger! The camera is better! Don’t ask about the battery life or the 3.5mm audio jack.
There probably won’t be another big jump in the tech for another 4-5 years, and until then it’ll just be incremental improvements. And that’s fine.
I could settle for just the jack cuz Bluetooth sucks…maybe a 6s with a fresh processor. Replaceable battery would be nice though but then how’d they sell you a new phone because the old one won’t hold a charge every two years?
If the damn things recharged themselves with a little solar panel that would be an improvement worth buying. There are solar powered chargers but that is a second device.
I sometimes wonder what crazy new tech Steve Jobs would have them into by now. Maybe something involving AI?
Those Rimacs are pretty swoopy.
But that doesn’t have the cleansing effect of taking a cursed item, and turning into a holy vessel of righteousness.
Hmmm. That really hadn’t occurred to me, but it’s awfully hard to discount.
There probably won’t be another big jump in the tech for another 4-5 years
The brain implant should be ready by then.
Utah GOP Sen. Mitt Romney, former presidential candidate and governor, won’t seek reelection in 2024
Utah Republican Sen. Mitt Romney said Wednesday that he will not run for reelection in 2024, creating a wide-open contest in a state that heavily favors Republicans and is expected to attract a crowded field.
In the spirit of announcing my disinterest in pursuing something that will never happen, I am giving up on sleeping with Jessica Alba.
How can Mitt be any more stunning and brave?
I presume people were going to primary him?
He cited his age: