“The Republicans are shutting down the government!” Joe said, his excitement and Parkinson’s sending a tremble through his limbs.
“It never works for them,” Kamala cackled. It was the first time she had been let back in The Oval Office since she laugh-pissed all over Eleanor Roosevelt’s horse blanket.
“We won’t let them, sir,” Karine said, a strong cup of coffee secretly laced with Bud Light in her claw-like hands. She was haggard and thoroughly unfucked; single life hitting her hard.
“It will be disastrous for our National Parks, Grandpa,” Finnegan said. She was growing out all her body hair to protest No Nut November and she itched everywhere, like a full-body rash of ingrown feminism was sprouting all over. “There will be almost nowhere left for Americans to get trampled to death trying to take a selfie with a bison.”
“I just want some time off,” Joe said. “I haven’t had a vacation in forever.”
In the uncomfortable quiet after he spoke, Kamala began to cackle. She cackled all around the room, skipping in delight. Cackle, cackle. She was so happy.
“I think she still thinks she’s going to be VP,” Karine said in a slurred whisper to Finnegan.
“Oh, let her dance and be happy,” Finnegan said. “It doesn’t hurt anything.”
“At least she’s so repulsive it keeps Hunter away,” Karine whispered.
“Dad gets obsessed with women who refuse to sleep with him,” Finnegan whispered back. “Having sex with him is the quickest way to get him to lose interest.”
Karine made a vomiting noise, then did vomit a little into the back of her throat and swallowed hard to push it back down.
“Just make sure it’s before Thanksgiving,” Finnegan said. “Turkey makes his crabs come out of hibernation.”
Karine did vomit then, coffee and Bud Light and a milky chum of Belvita Breakfast Biscuits splashing onto Kamala’s legs. The Oval Office fell into Biohazard Protocols, bleach misting from the ceiling and sirens howling.
So many to choose from. I’m going with
“.. she itched all over, like a full-body rash of ingrown feminism was sprouting all over.”
That one was uncomfortable to even read.
Agreed on both counts.
Hmm, it’s like you two have encountered that before, personally.
Fantastic, as ever.
Although, is bleach misting from sirens? Or is there a final word missing? (‘hooting’? ‘blaring’?)
LOL
Way to go Finny! Hooking your dad up!
Ahhh, there’s the SF we know and have complicated emotions about.
This tells me there is a system set up to detect various bodily functions. This is undoubtedly the system that SF has hacked into. Bad opsec there.
“Turkey makes his crabs come out of hibernation.”
OMG I can’t even. Thankfully nobody else was home to hear me laugh six times.
Hah! Yeah, I startled Kiki. She got up from her sunshine and left the room!
“There will be almost nowhere left for Americans to get trampled to death trying to take a selfie with a bison.”
Come on down to Big College Town. We’ll set you up with bison, wild horses, alligators, and Florida Man.
Show a little backbone, will ya? What’s the worst that could happen?
Complimentary meth?
It grows in the wild down here. Methberry bushes are all around — you just have to know what to look for.
Coach “Prime” might be able to set you up with Ralphie.
I think Coach Prime is trying to build men right now.
He’s going to need an Igor, then. And a mad laugh.
California prosecutor blocked special counsel from charging Hunter Biden, IRS official confirms
on topic, sort of
Nonstop.
Kamala began to cackle. She cackled all around the room, skipping in delight. Cackle, cackle. She was so happy.
Perfect.
Maybe Kelce has a shot with Karine.
Plain as the nose on your face
Tomorrow night, seven GOP candidates will debate in California. Their task is a complicated one: to set themselves apart from President Donald Trump while making themselves appealing to voters who largely still support him. To woo those Republican primary voters, these candidates may end up taking some positions that put them outside the mainstream of public opinion — which could hurt them if they wind up making it onto the general election ballot next year.
According to a 538 analysis, the people who vote in Republican primaries look very different demographically and think very differently than Americans as a whole when it comes to key political issues. We took a look at Cooperative Election Study data from Harvard University, a survey of at least 60,000 Americans on a range of issues taken before the 2020 elections and the 2022 midterms. We found that on key topics like immigration, abortion and government regulation, what GOP primary voters want is not the same as the country as a whole. That could box the ultimate Republican nominee into positions that are pretty unpopular with the general public.
——-
Another demographic point hints at the different values shaping political views: Sixty percent of Republican primary voters identify as born-again or evangelical Christians, while only 34 percent of the general electorate does. It’s a group that has more traditional, conservative views on gender roles and marriage, among other issues, which helps explain the big differences we see on hot-button topics like abortion and LGBTQ+ rights.
Nobody I know! Mainstream of American political belief! Where do they come up with this stuff?
Because major party candidates never play to the base in primaries and tack to the center in the general.
Just ordered a vintage USA made Swingline stapler from Ebay. Fuck the China made junk staplers these days.
Is it red?
Beige.
I’ll see your vintage and raise you VINTAGE
🙂
Sleek! It’s like it has tailfins, but in front!
It’s gotta weigh 2 pounds, easy. Maybe just a pound. I don’t know. It’s effing heavy.
My Swingline Model #76701 is made in China. Works all right.
I have a dark red Swingline of unknown age and provenance. It works as well.
My month old 747 Chinese Swingline is a POS.
These demographic differences mean that the group of voters choosing the Republican candidate have a completely different history, worldview and peer group from the generally younger and more diverse voters that could head to the polls in the November elections. That can shape the candidates’ views on a number of issues, from immigration to the future of the environment.
Some people shouldn’t even be allowed to vote.
Now do Democratic primary voters.
Suspicion of government regulation shows up in other places, too. Republican primary voters view environmental regulation with more skepticism than the general public does. There was a nearly 40-point gap in support for issues such as giving the Environmental Protection Agency the power to regulate carbon emissions, giving the agency more power to enforce the Clean Water and Clean Air acts, and requiring states to use a minimum amount of renewable energy in 2022. Those gaps were similar in 2020.
Hard core progressive Democrats are a completely reasonable proxy for the “general public”. This is indisputable.
Love the distinction drawn between Republican primary voters and the general public.
No, we’re not dehumanizing our political opponents at all. Why do you ask?
I noticed that as well. The last poll I saw showed only ~25% of the population identifying as ‘liberal’. By liberal they meant leftist. At the time I had the distinct impression that the numbers were fluffed. Given the number of mush brained leftists academia has been pumping out the real numbers are probably closer to that now. If anyone should be carved out as outside the norm it is them.
More government power. More power. More power. More government dictates. More dictates.
What reasonable person would not support that?
Coffee and Bud Light?
*shudder*
Seriously.
*barf*
“Just make sure it’s before Thanksgiving,” Finnegan said. “Turkey makes his crabs come out of hibernation.”
How do you do it? Just absolutely perfect.
::scratches Belvita Breakfast Biscuits off shopping list::
https://www.eatthismuch.com/food/nutrition/belvita-breakfast-biscuits,92109/
Ick. 32 net carbs. Talk about junk food.
They used to give them out on long plane rides. Very tasty. But yes, very fatty.
They do quite well for long endurance rides and the like though.
“At least she’s so repulsive it keeps Hunter away,” Karine whispered.
“Dad gets obsessed with women who refuse to sleep with him,” Finnegan whispered back. “Having sex with him is the quickest way to get him to lose interest.”
Karine made a vomiting noise, then did vomit a little into the back of her throat and swallowed hard to push it back down.
“Just make sure it’s before Thanksgiving,” Finnegan said. “Turkey makes his crabs come out of hibernation.”
Karine did vomit then, coffee and Bud Light and a milky chum of Belvita Breakfast Biscuits splashing onto Kamala’s legs. The Oval Office fell into Biohazard Protocols, bleach misting from the ceiling and sirens.
HAH!
She’s going to have sex with Hunter.
“In a Very Special episode of Joemala…”
I might need a sick day when that episode comes out.
“Does your Blackberry need a splash of cream?”
“a full-body rash of ingrown feminism”
Glorious.
As itchy as crabs.
https://twitter.com/RepThomasMassie/status/1707075413535498672
Important win.
This ban on joint ownership of livestock is justified in what way?
How long before home gardening is banned? Producing foodstuffs for oneself entirely prohibited?
It is a win, in a way. The whole food, regenerative ag, and farm-to-table movements are existential threats to the big food producers. Back in Minne I had a neighbor who worked for General Mills. They were shitting themselves about the low carb movement so started making “keto friendly” processed shit.
If even 20 percent of the population committed to eating single ingredient foods, buy as much as they can locally, and eat nothing out of a box, these bullshit food companies would dry up and die.
But don’t expect them to go down without a fight. I think it’s safe to say you are gonna see an uptick in horror stories about independent farmers and how dangerous they are.
– 1 Wickard v. Filburn
Your home garden can affect interstate commerce.
Exactly. I remember some years ago various municipalities began outlawing the growing of food plants in urban front yards, for reasons not explained. I thought then it is just a matter of time before the feds get in on it and start hacking down tomato plants etc. using Wickard as a justification. You can bet your ass the idea has been tossed around by the food companies and the feds.
Their trouble is that the kinds of people that grow home gardens will put up too much of a fuss. They dont think they have quite gotten that demographic sufficiently tamed.
Just wait….it is coming.
Where’s Cracky in all of this? He needs an appearance to continue to support the merchandising.
Oh, he looms large.
Very large. Apparently.
I made the mistake of reading this during lunch… 🤢
Deep thoughts
Tonight’s Republican primary debate is not a real event. It is a performance, a show, a pantomime: a shiny object with virtually no relevance to the outcome of the 2024 presidential primary.
Donald Trump is solidly over 50 percent in the national polling averages, and no one else in the primary field has anything that looks like momentum. No opponent has been able to find a line of attack that could hurt him; many of them aren’t even trying. The great GOP establishment hope, that Trump’s legal problems might torpedo his campaign, was a mirage. If anything, the four indictments helped him in the primary.
——-
New York magazine’s Eric Levitz recently argued that Trump’s undeniable authoritarian tendencies have put the mainstream press in a difficult position: Either it describes him accurately, and sounds like a “partisan rag,” or else it deceptively treats Trump and the Republican Party he controls as essentially normal. Too often, he writes, they make the latter choice — acting like “an amnesiac, or an abusive household committed to keeping up appearances, losing itself in the old routines, in an effortful approximation of normality until it almost forgets what it doesn’t want to know.”
The breathless coverage of the presidential debate fits this description to a T. We are all pretending that this is something like what we’ve seen in the past, a normal event held by a normal party, when it’s actually a pageant masking the true nature of the Trump-enthralled GOP: a political vehicle for a strongman whose second term would represent an existential threat to American democracy.
Vox is outraged at the outrage which is Trump. And, of course, rather than engage in any sort of honest introspection about Trump’s appeal, and why people are drawn to him, they retreat into namecalling and mudslinging. What specific “existential threat to democracy” does he pose? If you have to ask…
No sane person could vote for the cartoon villain.
I think they’re running out of superlatives.
“Trump’s undeniable authoritarian tendencies”
You mean the guy that has obeyed court rulings and who didn’t persecute his political opponents?
Well, he did support the authoritarian orgy which was COVID response.
In the sense that the actions they take to try to prevent him from winning are posing an existential threat to democracy, established norms, constitutional rights, political precedent, and the justice system they have a good point.
We had to destroy this
villagedemocracy to save it.“She was wearing a short skirt, your Honor!”
What specific “existential threat to democracy” does he pose?
He coordinated with shadowy figures to send a coded message. The words “peacefully and patriotically” would direct an unarmed mob to take over a
government office buildingsacred space. Kill off all of the legislators and declare himself emperor.Nothing says “existential threat to democracy” like getting a lot of votes.
This.
He is tempting people to vote wrong.
“What specific “existential threat to democracy” does he pose?”
“Trump’s undeniable authoritarian tendencies”
Like ‘fair share’ you will never get a solid answer on the nebulous bullshit being constantly spewed by the statists.
“When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’
’The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’
’The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which is to be master — that’s all.”
― Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass
Yes, the AI is the cause and not a symptom. This has nothing to do with the current state of gender relations.
https://thehill.com/opinion/technology/4218666-ai-girlfriends-are-ruining-an-entire-generation-of-men/
Men can be charged with and convicted of sexual crimes decades later now or cleaned out financially with no evidence being put forth not to mention all the paternity and alimony stuff. It’s really no wonder some guys are choosing that route.
I’m with you there. Seems like you need to sign a contract before the first date.
Not to mention some government thug questioning the value you and your bank put on the collateral you put up for a loan
I have no idea if Danny Masterson did any of the things he was accused of doing decades ago. I do know he got nothing like a fair trial with evidence.
Beta losers. LOL.
I’m not so sure. No flesh and blood woman or flesh and blood man will ever be perfectly suited to you. IRL you have to deal with the messiness of a relationship good and bad. AI could make a relationship too easy even if the issues you brought up didn’t exist. Those issue of course make if more likely but not impossible for people to prefer an AI relationship. I’m reminded of the Terminator 2 quote.
“It would always be there. And it would die to protect him. Of all the would-be fathers who came and went over the years, this thing, this machine, was the only one who measured up. In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.”
Ban polyamory!
Do the numbers reverse after 30?
It’s probably older guys picking up the young tang.
*remembers last month*
Speaking of, last bumble match turned me down for a date because she was flying to Maimi for the home opener. She’s a season ticket holder, who just moved up here to be some VP at Skidmore. But, she cashed in her rain check and we’re going on a hike with Lily Saturday. Maybe I’ll get to bang someone who makes >200% of what I do.
“I’m gonna bang you into a lower tax bracket, baby!”
Hmmm, maybe not the best dirty talk.
Genuine LOL.
*ovation*
TCol Jessup approves.
Girls at McDonalds make >200% of what I do. Widens the field.
I thought you had a SUNY job still, or did you drop that to run the shop full time?
Not SUNY, AU. Famously poor-paying.
with millions of users, apps have created virtual girlfriends that talk to you, love you, allow you to live out your erotic fantasies, and learn, through data, exactly what you like and what you don’t like, creating the “perfect” relationship.
*throws flag, blows whistle*
Blows something else. NSFW
Why that is not creepy at all. Nope, not one bit.
Put another way, we don’t have enough people to work, and therefore we won’t be able to pay our bills, not just to other countries, but to ourselves. We spent more than $1.6 trillion in 2021 on Medicare and Medicaid, with the number of Americans on Medicare expected to increase by 50 percent by 2030, to more than 80 million people. But over the same period, we will have only 10 million more Americans joining the workforce.
And that is just health care. In 1940, there were 42 workers per beneficiary of Social Security. Today, there are only 2.8 workers per beneficiary, and that number is getting smaller. We are going broke, and the young men who will play a huge role in determining our nation’s future are going there with AI girlfriends in their pockets.
While the concept of an AI girlfriend may seem like a joke, it really isn’t that funny. It is enabling a generation of lonely men to stay lonely and childless, which will have devastating effects on the U.S. economy in less than a decade.
Muh Ponzi scheme!
Going broke? You think the AARP cares? That group has opposed just about every reform ever suggested.
Why do you want to kill my dead grandmother?
She’s a reliable Dem voter.
“Put another way, we don’t have enough people to work”
Let’s start by cutting welfare until the labor force participation rate recovers.
I think whatever effect AI girlfriends have on the economy won’t even be noticeable through the wreckage of our energy industry and financial system.
As always, male incels are wicked while female incels are just victims of Teh Patriarchy®.
I do like how there’s a generation of lost men out there and the only thing are wise boomer population can think of is their Medicare and social security.
In the sense that the actions they take to try to prevent him from winning are posing an existential threat to democracy, established norms, constitutional rights, political precedent, and the justice system they have a good point
Look what you made us do.
We wouldn’t beat you and and throw you down the stairs and lock you in the basement if we didn’t love you so darn much.
https://x.com/rawsalerts/status/1707096570921889884?s=20
No booze for you, Philly
Looks like whoever was waving that phone around had their fair share.
Jaysus, what a shithole
Very much so.
https://www.inquirer.com/business/philadelphia-liquor-stores-closed-looting-20230927.html
They even got one outside the city in Montgomery county.
Strange that it is all the same chain. Competition getting fierce in the liquor store market?
Isn’t PA still an ABC state?
Oh no, our beloved former governor saved us from the wickedness of a competitive liquor market by vetoing the enabling legislation and preserving the monopoly of state-run liquor stores.
Mrs OBE is on a plane back to Vegas. Just me and the dog for a week. Now where to find hookers and blow in NKY
It’s more of a hookers and meth kinda state.
The irony being that you probably knew where to easily get hookers and blow in Vegas.
Exactly
Ask the ghost of Jerry Springer.
Disparate impact? What?
https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2023-black-lives-matter-equal-opportunity-corporate-diversity/
Colin Kaepernick sends letter to Jets requesting position on practice squad
Didn’t this guy compare the NFL to slavery? “Please let me be a millionaire slave!”
https://babylonbee.com/news/jets-get-restraining-order-against-colin-kaepernick
It’s sad to see the Bee being reduced to being a straight news organization. The satire was fun while it lasted.
That letter probably went in the round bin faster than an ad for roofing services.
Pretty sure rejecting him is Criminal Racism.