The Truth is Out There

by | Sep 16, 2023 | Beer, Cooking, Fitness, Food & Drink, Media, Musings, Warty Hugeman | 112 comments

I can explain it.  Those alien mummies? I can explain all of this.

This is my review of Firestone Walker Double Hypnosis Imperial IPA:

The entire world looked at Mexico with wonder utter confusion this week when a Mexican journo with a history of alien-related hoaxes unboxed the remains of two mummified aliens in an open session of the Mexican Congress.  Now my first thought was do they come with a version with ancho chipotle and lime seasoning, because they would sell a ton of those in my part of the country.

The legitimate media naturally jumped on this and discounted this as yet another hoax. While the conspiracy minded among us began looking for the actual news out of Mexico because apparently throwing out evidence of aliens to rope-a-dope the media works for the US, so why not our neighbors to the south?

There are two explanations for this coming out of Mexico and the constant discussion of aliens.  The first:  aliens appearing in Mexico is not that unusual and here in the US we just dismiss out of hand anything that comes out of Mexico as a hoax.  Including migrant workers.

The other?  The previously unnoticed correlation between UFO sightings and seed oil consumption.  As we can clearly see from this chart published in the Daily Mail, the incidence of UFO sightings began to rise in the 1950’s and began to skyrocket in the 1980’s.

Meanwhile, Canola oil was invented in the 1950’s and gained more acceptance in the American diet during the 1960’s and 1970’s, to the point where they are nearly ubiquitous today.

Does this mean the consumption of seed oils directly causes UFO sightings?  No.  The correlation however cannot be denied.  A raw data analysis needs to done to confirm the correlation, along with a chart with the frequency of sightings compared to the release of seed oil based products in respective jurisdictions.  Until then, the only reasonable explanation is the aliens need seed oils for some nefarious purpose and the American Heart Association is obviously part of the cover up to maintain the extraterrestrial’s supplies of highly refined polyunsaturated fatty acid poisons.

 

Alas, we are constantly living in a state of paranoia and the only recourse is mind numbing intoxicants to counteract the effects of the awful things we eat.  Well, maybe not me.  I don’t know about you but I go through a 4-pack of butter each week just from cooking for a family of 5.  Otherwise hypnosis is the perfect name for this tall can of mop water because to love this is to live in a dream world.  Its terrible by my point of view but if you are so inclined you’ll probably rejoice finding a tall can of this. Firestone Walker Double Hypnosis Imperial IPA: 1.9/5 8.3%ABV 70IBU 

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

112 Comments

  1. Common Tater

    It’s Weekly World News stuff, like Bat Boy.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      But Bay Boy is real?

  2. R.J.

    It is well known that illegal aliens land in Mexico and cross the border.

  3. R.J.

    “ Now my first thought was do they come with a version with ancho chipotle and lime seasoning..”
    When I saw that I thought mole sauce.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Mop water would probably taste better. For a second I thought that can said 19.2% alcohol. 8.3 is bad enough.

    • R C Dean

      Not out of range for an “Imperial”. I suspythe mopwater comes from the IPA.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Green space ships, powered by rape.

    • R.J.

      Rapeseed oil

      THE CONNECTION IS REAL…

  6. LCDR_Fish

    Oktoberfest back at Park Lane Tavern Fredericksburg (cc ROAT). First time with pig knuckles but seems pretty good. May try and make it back next weekend for the Wiener Schnitzel. Love the 1L steins of Paulaner, etc. – but will probably finish with a 1/2 L of Hacker Pschorr and some cake before I sit in the book store next door for an hour or so before driving home ;p

  7. Common Tater

    ” I don’t know about you but I go through a 4-pack of butter each week just from cooking for a family of 5.”

    A pound of butter a week for five people isn’t much.

    • LCDR_Fish

      I know I’m an outlier but I’ve enjoyed switching from margarine back to butter (and using a non-refrigerated butter tray) – even though I don’t go through very much, very fast.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I too have a brick at room temperature.

      • dbleagle

        If I kept any butter on the counter here it would have to kept in a bowl. No AC, the tropics, and a house cooled by breezes is not conducive to soft butter on the counter ready to go. On the plus side, I only need to leave the butter holder on the counter for a few minutes to get soft butter.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Same. The butter dish can get a bit overflowed in the summer months,

      • rhywun

        I’ve tried that a couple times but eventually I have a puddle so I gave up.

      • LCDR_Fish

        I assumed I’d have that issue in VA as well, but there seem to be a few dishes that can make it work. I’ve always defaulted to the fridge after living in the teopics for so long but apparently it’s not necessarily a necessity.

      • rhywun

        I’ll have central air from next week 🤪
        Maybe I’ll give it another try.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I was always a fridge guy, but my wife convinced me of using a butter dish. Unless it’s very hot or doesn’t get used in a timely manner, it’s perfectly fine. Actually better than fine, doesn’t tear up bread like cold butter does.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        The softness of the bread is always indirectly proportional to the harness of the butter.

  8. Gustave Lytton

    Interesting how Noem gets outed after years of open secret and now Brobert.

    • Raven Nation

      Boebert’s relationship is fairly recent.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes, but that it immediately made the news coupled with multiple security video releases seems like it’s clearing out people for 2024. Calendar driven collective uncoordinated action.

    • creech

      I remember when conservatives women were supposedly puritanical and dressed like church ladies and looked like gargoyles. Thank you, Palin, for showing the new way.

      • Suthenboy

        Dressed like church ladies….buttoned up to their necks but as the old saying goes “but they aint wearin’ no panties’.

    • R C Dean

      Yet the Dem doing anal for tokens on the internet is a feminist hero.

      • Urthona

        Yeah. I mean does anyone care? Boebert is a MAGA and the leader of MAGA is Trump.

  9. Gustave Lytton

    Good to see the decline of oleomargarine, as my grandma always called it.

  10. Ownbestenemy

    Hour into out next leg on the drive the car went haywire. All the lights on the dashboard came on at highway speed.

    Luckily near a town with services. Seems it was our old ass battery that I told our mechanic to give a once over last week.

    Back on the road. Kansas is boring.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      The story did out as an alien abduction story. Kansas hey, lights going haywire. You need to add in missing time.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Damnit. The Cylons captured OBE.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Whoop dee fucking doo

    Nashville voters elected Tennessee’s first transgender lawmaker Thursday, according to the LGBTQ+ Victory Fund, a political action group that aims to elect queer people to public office.

    ——-

    “My expertise is fixing things, and while my focus for my native city is repairing Nashville’s outdated infrastructure, I also want to ensure that Nashville is represented with true diversity in a state where the ruling party thinks I should head to the closet,” she said in a statement prior to her win.

    Annise Parker, president of the LGBTQ+ Victory Fund, which endorsed Hill, applauded her victory and took aim at the state’s conservative lawmakers.

    “Nashville voters clearly reject the hateful rhetoric that has grown louder in Tennessee politics lately,” Parker said in a statement. “Olivia’s victory proves that transgender people belong everywhere decisions about them are being made, including local office.”

    Just fix the fucking potholes and cut out the social preening.

    • rhywun

      Stop trying to make “queer” happen, the mainstream media.

      • Homple

        It happened so long ago that everyone has forgotten it

      • rhywun

        They’re trying to make it the standard word for “homosexual” and I’m not having it.

        “Queer” is “homosexual” + “asshole radical leftist”.

      • Beau Knott

        Preach it brother!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Queer Nation, when ACT UP wasn’t asshole enough.

      • Suthenboy

        When I need the word ‘homosexual’ is fine with me. I dont usually use any word for it…other people’s sexuality is none of my business and the less I know about it the happier I am.

        Leftist rubbing our noses in it constantly can go fuck themselves. Dont tell me what words I am allowed to use. When they try that is when I start using pejoratives. I have a long list of those.

        I learned how to curse from my Grandfather. Remember the old saying ‘he could make a sailor blush’? My Grandfather could make them cry. I wish I had written them all down.

    • creech

      True diversity in representation? When are libertarians, small government conservatives and the fiscally responsible going to get representation?

      • R C Dean

        Racists don’t get representation, racist.

    • R C Dean

      “My expertise is fixing things”

      Well, not including your grasp on reality.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Hill’s win coincides with seemingly competing phenomena: Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people are being elected to public office at historically high rates, while a record number of anti-LGBTQ laws have been introduced in state legislatures across the country.

    Maybe those “anti-quiltbag laws” aren’t what you claim them to be.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      In many states it is legal to shoot trans and gays*

      *If they’re posing a direct threat to you.

  13. LCDR_Fish

    Btw – talking to Ron yesterday, I think we need another VA gourmeltz meet-up soon. I won’t be on orders ar all till the end of Oct so let’s look for a VA meeting sometime next month. Any suggestions? I can start a forum post.

    • EvilSheldon

      I think that sounds like a fine idea.

    • Tonio

      Definitely going to try to make that.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    In many states it is legal to shoot trans and gays*

    Around here, I bel;ieve they’re classified as varmints; no license required.

  15. Gustave Lytton

    Rest stop parking lot lights have been replaced with hideous blue tint led ones. Very unnatural color and does an extremely poor of illumination. And yet, there’s no recourse. FYTW

    Even mall footage from the 90’s looks better than present day
    https://youtu.be/LLVprm_3D84?si=gb8jHtRIa3914u_W

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Justice served

    Federal officials on Friday renamed a towering mountain southwest of Denver as part of a national effort to address the history of oppression and violence against Native Americans.

    The U.S. Board on Geographic Names voted overwhelmingly to change Mount Evans to Mount Blue Sky at the request of the Cheyenne and Arapaho tribes and with the approval of Colorado Gov. Jared Polis. The Arapaho were known as the Blue Sky People, while the Cheyenne hold an annual renewal-of-life ceremony called Blue Sky.

    The 14,264-foot (4,348-meter) peak was named after John Evans, Colorado’s second territorial governor and ex officio superintendent of Indian affairs. Evans resigned after Col. John Chivington led an 1864 U.S. cavalry massacre of more than 200 Arapaho and Cheyenne people — most of them women, children and the elderly — at Sand Creek in what is now southeastern Colorado.

    I feel so much better now.

    • dbleagle

      F them. It will remain Mount Evans to me.

      This isn’t some unknown 14’er that only mountaineers and backcountry hikers know about. Mt Evans is the highest point in the state.

      • hayeksplosives

        The highest paved road in the US is on Mt Evans, or at least it was when I visited.

        Little mountain goats prancing around, zero fear of humans. The Womble-Meyers observatory at the summit provides a convenient place to park and take in the views (while breathing very deliberately!).

        I loved the fact that there was no one else in sight.

        Mt. Evans. Yeah, I deadnamed a mountain.

    • Suthenboy

      “…a national effort to address the history of oppression and violence…”

      The best virtue signaling is the kind that doesn’t cost anything or require you to do anything.
      Remember, if someone has to tell you that they possess some self-evident quality it is because they do not.

  17. Nephilium

    Today one of my locals did a little micro-beerfest in celebration of the hop. Four different collaboration IPA’s (a wheat IPA, a wet hopped West Coast IPA, DDH imperial hazy IPA, and a California IIPA), all were quite good. Chatted with a couple of the brewers and brought back 2 pints of each.

  18. DEG

    The previously unnoticed correlation between UFO sightings and seed oil consumption. As we can clearly see from this chart published in the Daily Mail, the incidence of UFO sightings began to rise in the 1950’s and began to skyrocket in the 1980’s.

    Mind blown.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Don’t even get me started on the ice cream consumption/violence relationship.

      • db

        I become significantly less violent when I have adequate amounts of ice cream to mollify me.

      • R.J.

        This is true. Also a box of Asian snacks works.

    • creech

      Correlated pretty well with the coming of the Boomer generation too.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Random question for beer savants: isn’t there an upper bound for alcohol content in beer absent outside force (like freezing and extracting water)?

    • Gustave Lytton

      “You’re more likely to be a victim of your own gun so just lie back for any criminal and think happy thoughts.”

    • rhywun

      New York State’s concealed-carry license also requires four character references, a list of former and current social media accounts for the last three years, an in-person interview, and disclosure of an applicant’s spouse or domestic partner as well as any other adults residing in the home.

      Drop all of these blatantly unconstitutional restrictions and I’ll consider joining them. It’s good to get the message out there that people are packing, at least.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        It seems so much easier to just obtain and carry a gun illegally. If they’re going to prosecute you for defending yourself anyways what’s another charge?

  20. Mojeaux

    Made my spicy tuna salad. You know, there’s something to be said for figuring out your desired taste and quantifying that in measuring spoons so as not to make it scorching hot. But then, if you did that, you’d never find out how scorching hot you could make your tuna salad.

    (It’s not that hot.)

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Thx, Stinky.

    *~10-15%; that’s kind of what I thought I had been told.

    • Nephilium

      Dogfish Head’s 120 Minute and World Wide Stout are routinely over 15% with fermentation alone. Some of the Avery Demon series and other high ABV ones clock over that as well.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Looks like specialized yeasts can get to around 25%.

  22. Sean

    Since when have movie theaters started caring about patrons getting handsy?

    • Sean

      Or is that just slapped on to make the story “juicier”?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        So her date or whatever wanted to get some stinky on his pinky. No big deal really.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    New York State’s concealed-carry license also requires four character references, a list of former and current social media accounts for the last three years, an in-person interview, and disclosure of an applicant’s spouse or domestic partner as well as any other adults residing in the home.

    Awesome. Breathtaking even.

    • R C Dean

      Rhy should submit everything except the fourth reference to set up his lawsuit to overturn the law with prejudice.

      • Gustave Lytton

        After he gets his Model 37. It’s mandatory for his new location.

      • Suthenboy

        What has he ever done to you? That is worse than crack. Get one in 12….now you gotta have one in 20. Then it is a Rem Speedmaster. Next, a SW mod. 41, you know, the one with the 7″ barrel. Down the rabbit hole you go….next you are sitting on the street with a cup in your hand begging for money to support your habit…

      • Sean

        Next thing you know, he’ll have a thing for rare 3rd gen S&W autos.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Whoa….easy there, cowboy.

  24. The Other Kevin

    Does this also correlate to the number of people who die tangled in bed sheets?

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Dogfish Head’s 120 Minute and World Wide Stout are routinely over 15% with fermentation alone. Some of the Avery Demon series and other high ABV ones clock over that as well.

    That’s way out of my league. I drink beer because I like to drink beer I like to drink. Sip my way through a few <5% beers over a period of hours. One and done isn't my style. Neither is sloppy drunk.

    Just my preference.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      At a certain level you may as well just knock back booze.

      • Nephilium

        Several of the local breweries release their high ABV beers in the 150 mL mini cans. If you go way back, some of the higher ABV beers would be served in nip bottles (8 ounces).

  26. The Late P Brooks

    At a certain level you may as well just knock back booze.

    Exactly. As I like to say, “If I just wanted to get shitfaced, I’d go back to drinking Wild Turkey.”

    • R.J.

      *Raises comically over sized martini glass in a salute

  27. Suthenboy

    Re: Church ladies and Conservative women

    I see Laura Ingram is hitting that pretty hard. Most of what the feminists and leftist are calling ‘liberation’ is actually objectification and humiliation.
    I agree. Nobody ever liked screwing more than I do but I spent the last 30 yrs screwing like a rabbit….with the same woman. I have kept my word to her and if I get to keep it another 30 years it won’t be long enough to suit me. I have always treated her as a complete equal in every respect.
    Ex: I find the popularity of twerking repulsive. I find ‘hook up’ culture and promiscuity a real turn off. I have known women who were very promiscuous and at some point it dawns on them what they are up to. Then they spend the rest of their lives struggling with guilt, shame and low self-esteem. I always thought the low self-esteem might be the root of it…a root that eventually reaches up to the surface, exacerbated by that very behavior.
    In that vein I will toss in a little tune.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zAThXFOy2c

    • Pine_Tree

      Hear, hear.

  28. R.J.

    It must be an iron law that when you replace something, you find the thing that was lost.
    I lost the $5 video camera for the Mighty GETAC, so I ordered a new one from Amazon for tonight. Definitely was not $5. AS SOON as I plugged in the new one, I found the old one lying in a dusty corner of the desk covered in obsolete cables.

    • Suthenboy

      Shit. Does that mean I have to go buy a ~$100 tow chain?

      • R.J.

        Maybe. At least you’ll have two when it arrives.

      • Sean

        Cover your bases, buy a kinetic recovery rope. They seem to be all the rage these days.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Don’t forget the soft shackles!

  29. Urthona

    I shall pour one of these in a snifter and quaff it with pinky extended.

    • R.J.

      I shall join you. If it wasn’t so damn busy, I’d meet you in Dallas sometime.

  30. R.J.

    I am assuming the other posters are at Honey Harvest, eating the delicious BBQ and singing campfire songs.

      • R.J.

        Nice.

    • Fourscore

      Not until tomorrow. There are some circling the wagons nearby and enjoying meeting each other after a one year hiatus. We’ll see the gathering tomorrow, weather looks favorable. Early birds are enjoying some of the local attractions.

      • CPRM

        MikeS and I checked out the sights in Cross Lake today.

      • R.J.

        Did you make it to the model train museum?

      • CPRM

        Yep, and a log cabin historic park thing.

      • R.J.

        Sounds fantastic. I am, per usual, watching Three Stooges before Svengoolie. Imma gonna Zoom early if I can and then keep putting up the Halloween decorations. I have a lot.

      • CPRM

        👻🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️👻

      • Ted S.

        Halloween decorations already??

      • R.J.

        Yeah. We have an early party in two weeks. Takes some time to put it all up. I’ll write it up.