A Glibertarians Exclusive: Riding The String, Part I

by | Oct 16, 2023 | Fiction | 129 comments

A Glibertarians Exclusive: Riding the String I

Elsewhere

They thought of it as “Elsewhere” when they were riding the String.

Elsewhere was what they saw in between worlds – in between universes.  Elsewhere was its own kind of place, except that it wasn’t really a place, more of an in-between place.  It was black, that wasn’t just black, it was the complete absence of anything.  It was a place that wasn’t a place, and yet it touched every place.  It was outside of time, in that their transits through Elsewhere seemed to be instantaneous when they emerged, no matter how long they perceived their stay in Elsewhere.

And they were lost. Utterly, hopelessly lost.

***

Six months earlier – Sutter High Orbital, Earth Orbit

Anne Hodge had wanted to build the Transiter in the form of an old English police box painted blue, after an old vid she had seen once.  But her partner, Wilfred “Will” Frye, said that the shape wouldn’t work, so the Transiter took the form of a polished aluminum craft shaped more or less like an egg flattened at the ends, about three meters tall and two and a half meters around its ‘equator.’ A small hatch on the side led to the cramped passenger compartment, with one seat at the hyperspatial transit controls and the other on the gravitic controls for “local” travel.  Under the passenger compartment was a Smith Industries anti-matter tokamak, the latest model, producing 3.7 million megajoules.  Two thick polymer portholes, each only ten centimeters across, allowed the only visibility outside, but the gravitic control panel had viewscreens tied into micro-cams around the circumference of the device. The two chairs folded down into hard, uncomfortable cots. A tiny ‘cooler on one wall stored a day or two’s worth of feed and drink.

While they were building the device, Anne and Will had only called it the Transiter. When it was complete and ready for testing, Anne wanted to give it a more formal name, but they couldn’t think of anything suitable, so “the Transiter” it was.

The Transiter was intended to make intersystem travel instantaneous, eventually even interstellar travel once the proper coordinates were established.

“There’s a lot of guesswork in this,” Will had told their investors. “Nothing like this has even been attempted before. That’s why our first attempt at a jump will be, essentially, line of sight – from Sutter High Orbital over Earth to Tycho Station on Mars.”

“What if you fail?” one of the investors asked.

“I guess,” Will said, attempting to deflect the question with a joke, “I guess I’ll call a wrecker. I’ll have Main Chance Towing and Salvage here at Sutter High Orbital on standby.”

Most of the investors didn’t find it funny.  But the possibilities of this new technology were too staggering for them to ignore; a few risks were acceptable, especially since Will and Anne intended to test the Transiter personally.

The night before the trial, they inspected the Transiter one last time, carefully.  Anne went over the checklist as Will listened carefully.  “Reactor is fully charged,” Anne reported. “Pressure check of the hull is good.  Hatch seals are good.  Software analyses run, all results at 100%.  Updated trajectory to Mars was updated an hour ago and is programmed in.”

“We’re good to go,” Will agreed.

After closing and locking the launch bay they had borrowed from Main Chance Towing & Salvage, they went back to their Medium Personal lodging for a light meal.

“Anne?” Will asked as they sat at the lodging’s tiny two-seat foldout table. “You look a little… I guess pensive.”

“We really haven’t given this system a good test,” she pointed out.  “I’m a little nervous. What if something goes wrong? We’re stepping into a continuum that you’ve only hypothesized.  Oh, I know, you say it’s consistent with your calculations of cosmic super-string theory, and you understand that better than I do.  But what if you’re wrong?  Can we get stuck in there? Can we get lost?”

Will reached across and took Anne’s hand. “My math is good,” he said. “My experiments were good. Don’t worry, hon.  You’ll see – we’ll ride the String to Mars and pop up in a low orbit within sight of Tycho Base. You’ll see.”

“I hope so,” Anne said. “Let’s clean up.  I think I’ll go to the chapel tonight.”

“If it makes you feel better, of course!”

Anne stepped out of the Medium shortly afterward. Anne was something of an oddity in the Sol system population, being still a practicing Catholic, but there was one small chapel sixteen levels down in the bowels of the station where Mass was held twice a day, morning and evening.

She came back two hours later to find Will seated on the Personal’s tiny fold-out couch-bed, reading something on his datapad. He looked up when she came in.  “How’d it go?”

“Mass? About like it has for the last few centuries, except of course for the three bums asleep in the back pew, and all the beggars out front. It’s bad enough you see that down on the surface, but you wouldn’t think that someone that useless could get up here.”

Will set his ‘pad down and shrugged. “Gets worse all the time. Sutter High Orbital has been open for almost eighty years, you know. Couple of generations, at least. That’s plenty of time to breed up some no-hopers.”

“That’s why we’re doing what we’re doing, right? To open new horizons?” She kicked off her shoes and sat down next to Will.

“Something like that.”

***

The next morning

Will talked to the few ‘vid-reporters that had gathered in the cheap rented hangar for about half an hour. Most of them didn’t understand the explanation of how the Transiter worked. Anne didn’t get all of it – her expertise was in gravitics and engineering, not physics – but she knew that strings were involved somehow, cosmic strings and vibrations or something like that.  She made a show of sitting in the Transiter with the hatch open, fiddling with her controls, listening to the faint hum of the now-active anti-matter reactor while Will described what he called “riding the String,” the hyperspatial transit process he had worked out.

The reporters looked skeptical, but finally, they ran out of questions and wandered off to upload their ‘casts.

It was time.  Will and Anne climbed in the Transiter, went through their checklists, and finally opened the bay door.  As Anne used the gravitic controls to ease the craft out into open space, Will looked around the bay; he saw the short, stocky form of Roman Main watching from an observation ‘port, his tall, slim wife Willow standing beside him.  Will waved, and Roman waved back.

I really hope we don’t need you guys, Will thought, but I’m sure glad you’re watching.

Anne took the Transiter out to what Will had reckoned a safe distance, a kilometer away from the Station.  As Anne shut down the gravitic drive, Will looked at her, winked, and took the transit controls.

The reactor whined.  The Transiter hummed.  “Three,” Will counted down, “Two.  One.  Mark!

For a moment there was nothing but the humming of the reactor.  The viewports were… blank. Not even black, but a black beyond black – a nothing that their minds couldn’t quite grasp.  Anne immediately thought of it as “Elsewhere.”  She said as much to Will.  “Makes sense,” he agreed.

Then they were out, having ridden the String to…  somewhere other than Mars orbit.

“Did we crash?” Anne asked.  She looked out the ‘port.  “On Earth?  I see grass.  There are some trees in the distance.”

Will looked at the tiny environment readout.  “Look like it’s late afternoon, towards evening.  The temp is nice and warm.  Air says it’s Earthlike, anyway.  O2 levels are a bit high.  We shouldn’t have any trouble breathing.”

Anne started to cry.  “I was afraid of this!” she said, wiping her eyes.  “We’re lost!  We should have run more tests, we should have tried it with a ‘bot first,” she said, sobbing.

Will hugged her.  “Don’t worry,” he said.  “Don’t worry.  Keep it together, hon.  All we have to do is reverse the vectors and countermarch back.  Piece of cake.  But we’ll have to let the reactor recharge; it needs water, and it will take a day or so to extract and synthesize tritium and positrons.  This looks like a friendly enough place.  Let’s get out, find some water for the Transiter, and have a look around.”

“All right.”

They climbed out of the Transiter.  There was indeed grass, but it didn’t look quite like grass.  The trees looked odd, too, but there was what looked to be a streambed nearby.  Will pulled a folding bucket out of the Transiter and sealed the hatch.  “Let’s go.”

Halfway to the stream, they saw two figures approaching.  “Will,” Anne said, close to panic again, “They aren’t people.”

“Wow.”  Will took Anne’s hand. “Stay with me, hon.  I need you.”

The two figures approaching walked on two legs, but not upright; their long bodies were parallel to the ground, balanced by long, stiff tails. Their bare feet were yellow, scaled, very birdlike, with long, sharp claws. Their arms were likewise tipped with yellow-scaled hands, again with long, sharp claws.  They had round skulls with long snouts; each was covered in glossy black feathers. The larger had a crest of bright red feathers on its head.  Both wore a sort of harness festooned with pouches and what were apparently tools.  The larger creature held a long, sharp stave in one hand.

The two creatures stopped, staring, then came on towards Will and Anne.  They stopped again a few meters away, and the larger one began a strange act, almost a dance, shifting from foot to foot and bobbing its head while raising and lowering his red crest and chittering out an odd combination of clicks, trills, and squeaks.

“Oh my God, Will,” Anne cried, “They’re dinosaurs!

“Yeah,” Will said.  “I think you’re right.”

***

Just a minute before you leave, girl
Just a minute before you touch the door
What is it that you’re trying to achieve, girl?
Do you think we can talk about it some more?
You know, the streets are filled with vipers
Who’ve lost all ray of hope
You know, it ain’t even safe no more
In the palace of the Pope

Don’t fall apart on me tonight
I just don’t think that I could handle it
Don’t fall apart on me tonight
Yesterday’s just a memory
Tomorrow is never what it’s supposed to be
And I need you, yeah

About The Author

Animal

Animal

Semi-notorious local political gadfly and general pain in the ass. I’m firmly convinced that the Earth and all its inhabitants were placed here for my personal amusement and entertainment, and I comport myself accordingly. Vote Animal/STEVE SMITH 2024!

129 Comments

  1. DrOtto

    Is this how you first?

    • juris imprudent

      You’re supposed to preen a lot more – you know like your ego is really stroked by this.

      • DrOtto

        I knew I was doing something wrong.

  2. Sean

    Anne Hodge had wanted to build the Transiter in the form of an old English police box painted blue, after an old vid she had seen once.

    🙂

    • DEG

      I noticed that too.

    • Drake

      Cool. Now he can go back to doing nothing.

    • Ownbestenemy

      That captain looks a lil….old.

  3. Not Adahn

    *sigh*

    Always double-check and verify you’re moving along space coordinates, not time ones.

    • Sean

      IMO, it’s an alternate Earth. They didn’t move in time or space.

    • kinnath

      Tool-using dinosaurs. Not jus the time axis.

      • Not Adahn

        Those tools just didn’t survive into the fossil record.

    • juris imprudent

      That would matter if space wasn’t also time, that’s the trouble with everything in motion.

      • Not Adahn

        Just turn left by 90 degrees.

      • Beau Knott

        No, your other left. No, not that one, your other other left!

      • kinnath

        Right angles to everything.

      • robc

        Reminds me of the Douglas Adams line about firing missiles perpindicular to reality.

      • Ted S.

        At Albuquerque?

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        Pismo.

  4. robc

    This reminds me of a story I read, I can’t remember by who, Asimov maybe?

    Anyway, they were testing some sort of device like this but apparently they don’t account for all of the motions in the universe (galaxy rotations and etc) and so they short jump put them across the galaxy, and the reverse jump had them completely lost in the universe.

    That is about all I remember. It was very short, that was pretty much all there was to the story, IIRC.

    • Grummun

      All we have to do is reverse the vectors and countermarch back

      These are the carefully calculated vectors that got you lost in the first place, yeah?

      • Lackadaisical

        Yeah, I had a kneejerk reaction against that as well.

        Just because you had the thrusters pointed 180 degrees the wrong way doesn’t mean reversing the exact order of operations would get you where you need to be. I might take my chances in Dinotopia rather than risk another jump. At least there’s air to breathe and Dino’s to eat.

      • Sean

        You could end up somewhere with Joe Biden as president. Eek.

      • Lackadaisical

        What a nightmare, glad I don’t live in that timeline. Can you believe all it took was opening up the pipelines to take gas back down to $1/gallon? I know they said deflation would be probably, but it’s been working out for me.

      • kinnath

        and Dino’s to eat.

        Or vice versa

      • Lackadaisical

        If this doesn’t end with them eating dino steaks I’m going to be disappointed. I feel like Animal is a man who knows his audience, so I have faith in him.

    • Drake

      Star Trek Voyager episode?

      • robc

        No. It may have been Dick not Asimov. I realize confuses those two is odd, but you know, the story didnt really fit either.

        But thinking about it, I am leaning toward PKD.

  5. SDF-7

    we should have tried it with a ‘bot first

    Yeah… that’s what I kept wondering to myself up to that point… why in the world would you do it as a manned flight first go?

    Here’s hoping they can escape or befriend the Chicken People. Thanks (as usual) for the read, Animal. Now I’m wondering if they jumped time, changed our history or just jumped into an alternate timeline where the SMOD never hit (that’s my current bet).

  6. Rebel Scum

    I don’t mean to derail the thread, but…

    I-25 is closed going both directions after a train derailed just north of Pueblo Sunday afternoon.

    A semitruck was reportedly under the bridge at the time, according to the Colorado State Patrol. Rescue crews are working to extricate the unconscious driver. It is currently unknown if other vehicles are involved.

    CSP confirmed at approximately 3:30 p.m. a train carrying coal derailed on a bridge over I-25 just north of Pueblo, Colorado. There are no reported injuries to BNSF crew. The cause remains under investigation.

    Colorado State Patrol said around 5:15 p.m. that the bridge the train was traveling on appeared to have collapsed.

    It’s not clear exactly when the bridge collapsed, but local Leo Star contacted CBS News Colorado and sent pictures of the derailment just before 4 p.m.

    I thought congress passed a bill to fix the infrastructure. But anyways, we better send a few more billion to Ukraine.

    • kinnath

      Not enough money for everyone to wet their beaks if it’s spent hear in the US.

    • B.P.

      Biden was supposed to travel to Pueblo today to talk up a solar manufacturing company or somesuch nonsense, but his handlers decided to focus on the Middle East.

  7. Tundra

    Cool!

    Great start, Animal!

  8. R.J.

    Captured by Space Dinosaurs! Excellent start!

    • Not Adahn

      Does Raquel Welch in a fur bikini show up?

      • Ownbestenemy

        *Homer drool*

  9. R.J.

    Attention Texas and Texas-Adjacent Glibs: Trashy is in DFW from the 18th-25th of this month. Let me know if you want to meet up, I can set a time.

  10. kinnath

    Another cool storyline Animal. Thanks.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Inspector Spacetime vibes for sure! Lovin it.

  11. kinnath

    They’ll survive as long as they don’t wind up in St. Elsewhere.

    • UnCivilServant

      “Great, stuck in the mind of an Autistic Child”

      “But we’ll crossover with someone who can get us back out again.”

  12. robc

    OT fun fact I learned this weekend. Grover Cleveland’s first name was Stephen.

    Why would he go by his middle name?

    • UnCivilServant

      It was too early for “Steve Cleve” to be a viable moniker.

    • Ted S.

      Why not?

      I have it on good authority that one of the brightest people on Glibs goes by his middle name.

      • robc

        Nah, my first name is Robert.

        I mean, why choose Grover when you have Stephen available?

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe they suck

    Ford (F) confirmed that it has temporarily cut a shift at its F-150 Lightning electric pickup plant in Detroit, possibly signaling demand is drying up for the highly rated EV.

    “We are adjusting the schedule at the Rouge Electric Vehicle Center because of multiple constraints, including the supply chain and working through processing and delivering vehicles held for quality checks after restarting production in August,” Ford said in a statement regarding the shift reduction. Ford said 700 jobs would be affected by the shift cut, and that the jobs impacted were not due to the ongoing UAW stand up strikes.

    Despite this statement, however, it appears there may be more to that story. The Wall Street Journal was first to report last Friday that Ford was considering cutting a shift at its Rouge electric vehicle plant, where the automaker builds the Lightning, citing a memo from an UAW official concerned about demand. “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that our sales for the Lightning have tanked,” the memo reportedly also said.

    Damn the market. Full Bidenmics ahead!

    • The Other Kevin

      The damn press just isn’t doing a good enough job of reminding citizens how much they want an electric truck.

      • Lackadaisical

        Look, it’s a ‘highly rated EV.’ The customers are just too stupid to know what’s good for em.

  14. Rebel Scum

    Putting the cart before the horse?

    Kanaani speaks in Tehran, Iran. (Iranian Foreign Ministry via AP, File)
    Iran’s Foreign Ministry says that Hamas potentially was ready to release the nearly 200 hostages it is holding if Israel stops its campaign of airstrikes on the Gaza Strip. The terror group hasn’t acknowledged making such an offer.

    Iranian Foreign Ministry spokesman Nasser Kanaani speaks at a news conference in Tehran. Iran is a main sponsor of Hamas in its fight against Israel.

    Hamas officials “stated that they are ready to take necessary measures to release the citizens and civilians held by resistance groups, but their point was that such measures require preparations that are impossible under daily bombardment by the Zionists against various parts of Gaza,” according to Kanaani.

  15. Ownbestenemy

    Idiot co-worker is passing off my knowledge as his own that I just shared with him… Issue #403259 why he was looked over for the job.

    • UnCivilServant

      I hate it when people do that.

      I have more respect for an “I don’t know, I’ll find out.” followed by an answer than people who pretend to have had the information all along.

      • Rebel Scum

        I don’t know, I’ll find out.

        My favorite response to all questions at the office.

      • kinnath

        I told a co-worker once that any question would dealt with one of two answers. I don’t know. I don’t care.

      • kinnath

        He responded with a comment that I didn’t seem to worried about the consequences.

        I said “I don’t care.”

      • Ownbestenemy

        If the guy would have said “I just learned…” I wouldn’t have bothered to even mention it, but I can tell he was getting probing questions on the other end and his tone in his response was giving a false sense of knowing.

  16. Lackadaisical

    ‘three meters tall and two and a half meters around its ‘equator.’’

    I already see how they got lost. Using metric will do that to you when God clearly measured the universe in feet and inches.

    • Not Adahn

      I’m pretty sure God uses base-pi numbering system.

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        God just uses the word “this” or “that” as a measurement. He is all knowing, after all.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    “We think Ford’s announcement is emblematic of the difficulties traditional automakers have faced with ramping up EV production, but also reflects consumer demand for EVs that wasn’t what it once appeared to be in terms of the robust reservation counts for certain new models,” CFRA analyst Garrett Nelson said to Yahoo Finance regarding the shift cut. “There’s been a growing mismatch between what automakers are trying to sell and what consumers want to buy.”

    No shit, Shirley?

    Is that happens when everybody who wants one has one?

    • kinnath

      MegaCorp sends kinnath to a big industry meeting. Customers at the meeting talk openly about what products and services they hope will fall out of the emerging market.

      kinnath comes home and debriefs program leadership. Manager says “but that’s not what I want to sell”.

      kinnath nods patiently goes back to doing normal work.

      • R.J.

        Good man.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Manager says “but that’s not what I want to sell”.

    Fucking customers. What do they know?

  19. Tundra

    And, like clockwork.

    Why not? Janet says we still have a few checks left.

    • R.J.

      I can’t take it. Our politicians are morons.

    • Drake

      What could go wrong? Everything worked out great when Reagan sent Marines over there to help the Israelis and Palestinians.

    • Lackadaisical

      If you ever have a hornet problem and can’t find the nest, just call the US military. Their dick will be in it in no time at all.

    • Rebel Scum

      “No boots on the ground.”

      “Okay, boots on the ground.”

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Those aren’t boots. Those are tactical footwear.

      • Rebel Scum

        Kinetic military footwear?

    • The Other Kevin

      It’s not a war, its a kinetic action and they are just advising for a short while. /End audition for press secretary.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I bet they couple this with what’s his face’s notion that the middle east has been the most calmest than any other time period. Like inflation, just remove certain things and everything in the world is roses.

    • Sensei

      The U.S. military has selected roughly 2,000 troops to prepare for a potential deployment to support Israel, U.S. defense officials said. The troops are tasked with missions like advising and medical support, the officials said, and they are from across the U.S. armed services. They aren’t intended to serve in a combat role, the officials said. No infantry have been put on prepare-to-deploy order.

      The troops are currently stationed both inside the Middle East and outside, including Europe, the officials said. It isn’t clear under what circumstances the U.S. could deploy the troops or to where, but the Pentagon decision signaled it is preparing to support Israeli troops should Israel launch a ground incursion into Gaza.

      That’s the whole article.

      • Fatty Bolger

        What horseshit. Sounds more like a hair trigger force like our guys on the Korean border, in case Iran or some other nation state decides to get involved and attack Israel directly.

  20. Rebel Scum

    The Dishonorable Judge Thug.

    Judge leans in. “In what kind of case do you think it’s appropriate for a defendant to call a prosecutor a thug… and remain on the streets?”

    She asks same question twice.

    Defense says this “prosecution is unprecedented” .. “what’s a candidate to do?”.. “stay silent?”

    That’s it. Lock him up.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Well always appropriate because well…free speech. This notion you have to walk on eggshells when discussing government agents is bullshit.

      • Rebel Scum

        I’m routinely berating the government and it’s agents with my phone (i.e. gov’t spy device) in earshot (plus I do so in writing here). I wonder how many lists I’m on.

      • kinnath

        Only the important lists.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Fuck judges and their sense of entitlement. You just as much hired help as any other public sector employee. For someone who isn’t convicted, they owe you zero deference, GFY.

    • The Other Kevin

      Judge: Mr. Prosecutor, what you think I should do here?

  21. The Late P Brooks

    A minor inconvenience

    A Tesla owner said he was “flabbergasted” when he and his partner were hit with a hefty bill to fix their electric vehicle.

    Johnny Bacigalupo and Rob Hussey told the Scottish news outlet Edinburgh Live they were billed £17,374, or about $21,000, to fix their Tesla after its battery was damaged by rain last week.

    ——-

    Bacigalupo and Hussey said that after being unable to start their vehicle and arranging to have it delivered to Tesla Edinburgh by a collection firm, they received a call Wednesday informing them that the battery was “damaged due to water ingress.”

    They said they were told the eight-year warranty didn’t cover this and were asked whether they wanted to proceed with a repair costing about £17,500.

    I wonder what the scrap value is.

    • UnCivilServant

      Negative, probably, because you’re footing the cost of transporting the hazardous waste to a disposal site. The handful of “Recycling” facilities that handle them are overseas.

    • kinnath

      Even a half-assed life cycle value analysis would show that EVs are a fucking disaster. And yet, so many people are enthralled with them.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        They can be fun to drive. I got a ride in one of these a couple weeks ago, https://www.mbusa.com/en/vehicles/model/eqe/sedan/amgeqev4. It was like a roller coaster. But I’m not going to pretend a car like that is saving the planet, and I don’t want to be forced to buy an EV.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        There’s some EV sedan out there now with a sub 2 second 0-60. They’d be fun to drive once or twice for a laugh. Damned if I’d buy one though.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Yeah, the car I was in was something like $150K. I’d be nervous owning a car like that, worrying about every ding, scratch, or rock flying up off the road. The guy said he had a hard time finding an insurance company that would write a policy for it too.

      • Lackadaisical

        My ex-brother in law had a Tesla, which he let me drive once about 7 years ago when they were still rare beasts.

        It was fast as hell. The braking system takes getting used to though.

  22. Rebel Scum

    No ragrets.

    Fmr. CIA Director Panetta: “I don’t have any regrets about [the letter claiming Hunter’s laptop was Russian disinformation]”

    “My concern was to alert the public [about] disinformation … Frankly I haven’t seen any evidence from any intelligence agency that that was not the case”

    I understand. You had to lie to save democracy from OMB.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Of course he has zero regrets, there’ll be zero negative consequences for him.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Leon Penetta? DemE stalwart has no regrets? Where’s my shocked face at.

    • The Other Kevin

      “Frankly I haven’t seen any evidence from any intelligence agency that that was not the case”
      Nobody came up to me and told me they were corrupt.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Why not? Janet says we still have a few checks left.

    It’s just a few “military advisors”. What could go wrong?

    • Drake

      I have a old Marine friend back in NJ, His buddy asked him to swap watches in Beirut – you can guess the rest. Hell of a thing to live with.

  24. Rebel Scum

    MAGA terrorism.

    A 71-year-old landlord in the Chicago area allegedly stabbed a Muslim mother and her six-year-old son on Saturday, causing serious injury to the mother and killing the boy.

    Joseph M. Czuba has been charged with first degree murder, attempted first degree murder, hate crime (2 counts), and aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, according to the Will County Sheriff’s Office.

    Authorities say Czuba “targeted” the mother and boy “due to them being Muslim and the on-going Middle Eastern conflict involving Hamas and the Israelis.” Czuba has yet to “make any statements to detectives regarding his involvement in this heinous attack,” authorities added.

    Something does not add up here.

    • UnCivilServant

      I suspect even if he is guilty, which has not yet been proven, the motive would be something mundane and more personal.

      Like them being annoying renters, or not paying on time, or damaging the property.

      • R.J.

        I’m with you on that.

    • Ownbestenemy

      The news just parrots what the State says.

  25. Necron 99

    The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

    I received a letter from the IRS, seems I was unaware cashing out money from a brokerage account had the tax implications I thought it had, and now I face a $10K repayment, along with fines and interest. I knew I should have hired an accountant, didn’t expect this level of fuckery though.

    • Drake

      Sorry – been there unfortunately.

      I plan to buy a new car early next year because cashing out any investment money in the next 2 months will bite me in the ass.

      • Necron 99

        I used the cash to invest in real estate, so I still believe it was worth it. Just not very liquid at the moment, so I need to get innovative to make up the difference.

  26. Tundra

    Alpha move.

    Blinkin is getting tea-bagged around the world.

    • R.J.

      That. Is. Awesome.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      I wouldn’t want to meet with A. Blinkin either. Did he have to wait in Blinkin Park?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Did you say Abe Lincoln?

      • Gender Traitor

        His whole evening was shot.

      • Sensei

        Everything you say to me
        (Takes me one step closer to the edge)
        (And I’m about to break)
        I need a little room to breathe
        (‘Cause I’m one step closer to the edge)
        (I’m about to break)
        I find the answers aren’t so clear
        Wish I could find a way to disappear
        All these thoughts they make no sense
        I find bliss in ignorance
        Nothing seems to go away
        Over and over again

      • Rebel Scum

        They left him hanging?

  27. DEG

    Will looked around the bay; he saw the short, stocky form of Roman Main watching from an observation ‘port, his tall, slim wife Willow standing beside him.

    Willow is Roman’s wife or Will’s wife?

  28. Gustave Lytton

    3.7 million megajoules

    Should have gone with the Mr Fusion model at 4.4m megajoule rating.

  29. Sensei

    Marketing departments never cease to amaze me.

    The Secret Deal That Put a Real Rifle Into ‘Call of Duty’

    An undated Freedom Group memo titled “Gaming Strategy” said, “With increasing urbanization and access to shooting/hunting areas in decline, a primary means for young potential shooters to come into contact with firearms and ammunition is through virtual gaming scenarios.”

    • R.J.

      Is this supposed to be shocking or surprising? Because it is neither.

      • Sensei

        Nope, but I wouldn’t do it because it’s not press I want.

    • Not Adahn

      The Freedom Group still exists?

      • Sensei

        They go through the ownership changes in the article.

  30. Sean

    https://www.phillyburbs.com/story/news/local/2023/10/11/levittown-house-record-700000-bucks-county-real-estate-housing-market-pa/71119350007/

    “This girl has a college degree, she has a great job, she makes $70,000 a year. Unfortunately, she has student loans and a car $175,” he said. “The problem is when you have that kind of debt with today’s interest rates, she qualifies for $175,000 mortgage. Two years ago, when interest was at 3 (percent), she would have qualified for a minimum $300,000,” he said.

    Said Kemmerer: “You’re not buying anything in Levittown with $175k. You can’t afford Bucks County.”

    Bidenomics!

    • creech

      20 percent tax increase on purchases since Biden took office, yet numbnutz keep supporting him. I guess unemployment will have to soar in order to change enough votes to overcome the hatred for the presumptive GOP nominee.

    • kinnath

      What would you need to finance that house on Rose Apple Road? With a 10 percent down payment and closing costs, about $95,000 cash at settlement. A fixed rate mortgage at 8-percent, along with insurance and taxes, your payment will be $5,643 a month – for 30 years.

      No problem.

  31. R.J.

    Anyone heard from Penguin?

  32. Rebel Scum

    How many Poles does it take to screw in a lightbulb submit to the globalist agenda?

    In one of Europe’s most consequential elections, Poland went to the polls to decide the course that the country is to take: to remain in the current conservative and nationalist path, or to surrender to the Globalist EU policies, with mass migration, abortion and transgenderism leading the pack.

    The exit polls suggest that Poland’s liberal, pro-EU opposition looks on track to form the next government, and official partial results also confirm that the ruling nationalists may lose their parliamentary majority.

    • Drake

      Slovakia is going in the opposite direction.

    • Lackadaisical

      Oof. That sucks.

    • Sean

      Maybe Russia will invade them now too.

  33. Not Adahn

    CZ is run by a money guy, not a gun guy, and one that can’t even spell his name properly:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tI86teAa4k8

    He of course thinks that the best gun his company has ever made is the one that just happens to be the new hotness.

    However, by officially saying that the P10-C is going to be retired for an upgraded model, prices should continue to fall, so that’s nice.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Yeah, the car I was in was something like $150K. I’d be nervous owning a car like that, worrying about every ding, scratch, or rock flying up off the road. The guy said he had a hard time finding an insurance company that would write a policy for it too.

    Considering how easy it is to total those things, that’s not surprising. Any hit harder than a door ding has the potential to compromise the integrity of the battery pack. And then you’re fucked.