Thank you for taking Johnny Cab

by | Oct 28, 2023 | Beer, Food & Drink, Media, Technology, Things to Come | 92 comments

Thank you for calling RoboTaxi.

Para español, marque nueve.

If your RoboTaxi has malfunctioned, please press 1

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*GHAH*

We’re sorry.  Your call is important to us.  Please remain on the line and an automated customer service representative will take your ca—Thank you for calling RoboTaxi.  My name is KHALID, America’s favorite automated customer service representative.  Powered by Google!  Has your RoboTaxi malfunctioned?

*…..yoooos*

I’m sorry, I didn’t get that.  Has your RoboTaxi malfunctioned?

*…..ya. YES.*

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*…y…y….YAS*

Okay. It sounds like you may have a collapsed lung.  Is this correct?

*gurgle* *cough*

Sorry. I didn’t get that.

*g..YUH*

Okay.  In order to complete our patented cloud based triage protocol, we must fully assess your injuries.  You currently have a collapsed lung.  Are their any other injuries for us to note?

*looks at part of street sign lodged in leg*

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…17 minutes.  In the meantime, please hold.  I will check in on you periodically.

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*…*

 

What?  I was asked for a horror story.  How do you like them apples? (Link is not to Matt Damon)

While not technically a beer, this I fully expected to be unbelievably sweet due to its high alcohol content.  That and cider in the US tends to be on the sweet side.  If I do this my preference is the dry type but this is America and the only thing we like more than saturated fats, is sugar.  Alas, this surprised me, but I won’t buy it again, as it was merely irritatingly sweet.  I felt like I was drinking Manzanita Sol.

You know the rules:  no beer, no score.

 

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

92 Comments

  1. dbleagle

    Harsh, but fair. I’ll allow the score to stand.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Damn straight. I may call bad balls and strikes but at least its consistent.

  2. Shpip

    I fully expected to be unbelievably sweet due to its high alcohol content.

    I’m generally the opposite. The higher the ABV, the more sugar was converted by yeast to alcohol, the drier the wine / cider. Of course, I’m frequently wrong.

    • kinnath

      Depends on the process.

      For commercial stuff, yes it is easy to stabilize with chemicals; back sweeten to any level you want; and then force carbonate.

      Most commercial ciders are alcoholic soda pop. Sweet and fizzy.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    I haven’t had apple cider in a very long time. I never think of it. Back in ye olden days (high school, in upstate New York) we used to get gallons of fresh raw unfiltered apple cider from roadside stands. It was awesome. Unprocessed cider is probably verboten now.

    • rhywun

      I ‘member the same. Want.

      • Chafed

        Aren’t you in exactly the right region to find it?

      • rhywun

        Yeah, lots of apple cider around here. I’ll see what Wegmans has.

        I drank it a couple times in NYC but it’s not terribly popular there so not so easy to find.

      • Fourscore

        I used to go to a little roadside market on the way to Freehold, a buck a gallon for cider, circa 1970

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s what, $1,000 in today’s money?

  4. The Late P Brooks

    It sounds as if maybe Johnny Cab isn’t quite ready for prime time.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      God help us, we’re in the hands of engineers.

  5. DEG

    While not technically a beer, this I fully expected to be unbelievably sweet due to its high alcohol content. That and cider in the US tends to be on the sweet side. If I do this my preference is the dry type but this is America and the only thing we like more than saturated fats, is sugar. Alas, this surprised me, but I won’t buy it again, as it was merely irritatingly sweet. I felt like I was drinking Manzanita Sol.

    It was made with honey.

    “Sweet due to its high alcohol content”? That makes no sense. Whatever sugars are left over after fermentation determine sweetness, not how much alcohol is in the booze.

    • kinnath

      See above

    • Not Adahn

      There are dry ciders to be had around here. I prefer them brut myself.

      • kinnath

        I make most of my cider semi-dry. The come in about 1% residual sugar when bottle conditioned.

        I have a couple of lovely traditional ciders from New York made. They are basically dry.

        Most commercial cider is targeted at people that don’t like beer and who were raised on coke/pepsi products. Its is generally crap.

      • Not Adahn

        My biggest surprise was when Argus in Austin made one out of Cameo apples, but whatever yeast they used ate all the sugars, left it tasting remarkably like Veuve Cliquot.

      • R C Dean

        Back when I made mead, I used champagne yeast. Nice and dry. I also made cranberry mead, with actual cranberries. Beautiful red, and some tart with the dry.

        Sparkling, of course. I’d make it in the winter so it could rest until the holidays.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        I go back and forth with it. My wife likes cider, specifically Orchard Thief that we discovered in Ireland but they don’t export as far as I’m aware. So every once in a while I’ll grab one to see if its a decent proxy.

  6. Not Adahn

    About 25 years ago I had a delicious dish at an Indian restaurant I’ve never seen on a menu since. Until IT lady told me about the place I’m currently having lunch at.

    Dum aloo bernarsai, at Maharaja in Colonie.

    • Not Adahn

      It’s delicious, though not as hot as I remember.

      • Sean

        I can fix that.

      • Not Adahn

        The waiter gave me a bit of a side-eye when I ordered it hot, saying “…it’s pretty hot.”

        And then the manager came out after I had eaten some to make sure it wasn’t too spicy.

        The moral of the story is: NY makes even Indians become blander in their palates.

        It did still make my scalp sweat a bit. When I ate in in Houston, it about ripped to top of me head off.

      • Ted S.

        I’d have guessed that they thought a white guy like you couldn’t handle the heat and didn’t give their truly hot stuff.

  7. kinnath

    39 degrees, overcast, and breezy. Lovely day to dig a trench and then build a retaining wall.

    • mikey

      6” of snow on the ground, 4 degrees and not a cloud in the Big Sky. Coldest this early since 19 aught something.

      • dbleagle

        GLOBAL WARMING!!!!!

        If the snow keeps up it’s going to push the elk down early this year.

    • slumbrew

      78 degrees – I’ll be risking a sunburn when I pull all the screens and clean the windows in preparation for winter.

      Thank you, Hunga Tonga-Hunga Ha’apai

      • dbleagle

        No real changes in the temp out here. (Low this morning 70 and high of 84 expected.) But this summer was drier than normal with zero tropical storms getting close enough to the state have rainfall.

    • PieInTheSky

      i did my digging in 25C and sunny.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      80 degrees and sunny. Perfect for being stuck coaching a little league team.

  8. Brochettaward

    Self-driving cars will never get on the road and stay there because they’ll be held to an almost impossibly high standard. I’m both joyed and saddened by this. I see self-driving cars as an almost irresistable tool that will be used by the surveillance and police state we’ve built. But the risk aversion of our culture is on full display and it’s why we can’t really innovate anymore in ways that matter.

    • Brochettaward

      Do you know what many Firsts humanity would have been denied if Firsters stopped everytime there was a dead pedestrian?

    • Chafed

      I’m fine with that standard.

  9. Mojeaux

    I sure hope the Korean movie I’m queueing up has subtitles.

    • Mojeaux

      Found subtitles on the third service it’s on.

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        Parasite?

  10. Ted S.

    I accidentally mentioned it at the end of the morning links thread, but since people here were talking noir recently, I’d like to mention tonight’s Noir Alley selection on TCM, Experiment in Terror. Glenn Ford plays an FBI agent who gets a call from Lee Remick about an asthmatic man threatening her over the phone. Shot on location, including at the old Candlestick Park in San Francisco.

    Before that, there’s a double feature of both versions of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Man Who Knew Too Much. The remake is on at 8:00 PM and the 1934 original (which I believe was Peter Lorre’s first English-language movie) at 10:15 PM.

    • UnCivilServant

      That’s disgustingly high.

      • R C Dean

        I’d say it’s surprisingly good news. Still early in the flu vaccine season, so it’ll go up some.

    • PieInTheSky

      the comments are dismal

      • slumbrew

        I have had 3 shots and covid 3 times. Covid february 2022, may 2023 and oktober 2023. This last one was the worst and the only one with coughing. 2 weeks in and I’m not fully ok yet.

        Get your boosters, I will.

        Uhhhh

      • Sensei

        One of my favorites.

      • dbleagle

        The derp is strong in that one.

        I am getting a hip replaced on Tuesday and had to take a VID test yesterday. I was asked if I was up to date on VID boosters and I told them, “No. I see no point in taking a failed experimental vaccine.” I got one raised eyebrow by the fool wearing a mask and a smaile and small nod from the person who was bare faced.

      • Ted S.

        I didn’t take a covid test until Dad was in in-patient rehab in May 2022.

        Haven’t taken any since.

      • rhywun

        I was tested 3 or 4 times in the run-up to surgery back in 2020. I think I had the plague around Xmas that year but I haven’t tested since.

      • R C Dean

        Broken people are broken.

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        Yeah. I was in the thrift store book hunting, and I saw at least four people masked; one old, a young woman dragging what seemed to be her daughter around, said daughter, and the clerk who rung me up. Sad.

        On the flip side, I found two early Cheever first editions and a wartime Grahame Greene.

      • Chafed

        Seems like it’s working well… for Pfizer and Moderna.

    • Chafed

      I don’t believe it’s that high. Seriously. Most of the reporting I’ve seen is 3%.

      • Sensei

        I’d say my team at work is at least 50%.

      • PieInTheSky

        my team at work i have no idea and i don’t care. had a cold couple of weeks ago. i did not care which cold virus it was.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        The >70 crowd I’d expect to be reasonably high. My parents got theirs last month.

    • Ted S.

      Thank you for the laughs.

    • Mojeaux

      XY is going to Missouri State next fall. He had to get a meningitis vaccine (fair), but also opted to get the covid booster and a flu shot with it. 🙄

  11. PieInTheSky

    i don’t much like the dry cider sweet is probably worse

  12. Raven Nation

    NBC continues to be confused about how to broadcast sports. They bought the rights to the Rugby World Cup but are showing it on CNBC. Yes, I know that they have a Notre Dame game at 2:30 but, really, you can’t do better than that?

    • R C Dean

      They have also decided that NASCAR fans don’t want to hear engine noise.

      QTF*?

      *Que the fuck?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      No, they cannot

  13. Raven Nation

    Also in sports, two long-range goals today, one for Bournemouth and one for Bayern Munich.

  14. Mojeaux

    Along With the Gods. Cute movie.

    1. I forgot how much XY eye candy Korea has. nomnomnom
    2. The storytelling and effects were superb.
    3. I’m ashamed that I don’t have the imagination to come up with something like that.
    4. Is the movie’s structure a native method of storytelling or did western storytelling infiltrate the east the way western music did?

    • R C Dean

      It seems like a lot of the XY eye candy I was seeing for awhile from Korea was, well, rather effeminate. Dunno if that’s changed.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes and no. They had the mild-mannered warrior monk vibe going on, sort of like in Big Trouble in Little China.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, so many of the K-crap boy bands look androgynously made up while at the same time trying to portray a phony tuff-gai gangsta attitude.

      • Chafed

        Their preferred method of fighting is the bitch slap.

    • Don escaped Texas

      Koreans are cute people

      ** Scots Irish regards huge flat black thing growing on his arm **

  15. The Late P Brooks

    I have had 3 shots and covid 3 times. Covid february 2022, may 2023 and oktober 2023. This last one was the worst and the only one with coughing. 2 weeks in and I’m not fully ok yet.

    Get your boosters, I will.

    Safe

    and

    effective!

    • R C Dean

      Based on the track record so far (3 shots, 3 Vids), I’d say there’s another Vid case coming.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    NBC continues to be confused about how to broadcast sports. They bought the rights to the Rugby World Cup but are showing it on CNBC. Yes, I know that they have a Notre Dame game at 2:30 but, really, you can’t do better than that?

    They put MotoGP on CNBC. If Peacock had CNBC, I’d probably subscribe.

    • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

      I went a MotoGP once, at Laguna Seca. They supposedly went this way as 2strokes were too loud.

      This was much louder.

      • dbleagle

        The Laguna Seca Moto GP is an outstanding day. That course is full of great viewpoints. Watching racers wheelie down the corkscrew because it is faster that way is mind blowing.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Based on the track record so far (3 shots, 3 Vids), I’d say there’s another Vid case coming.

    At the absolute minimum, you’d expect that person to have some niggling doubt as to the “vaccine’s” effectiveness. Apparently not.

    • slumbrew

      “It would have been so much worse if I hadn’t gotten the shots. Amen.”

  18. Aloysious

    I followed every one of them there links and didn’t get rickrolled even once.

    I believe my expectations have been subverted.

  19. whiz

    Saw a great license plate yesterday: BFYTW. I wonder if the B was added to get it past the censors. This was a NH plate seen here in IA.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      “Because”

      • whiz

        Yes, that’s what I thought. Glibs generally don’t use the B in the acronym, but it makes sense.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Being NH, perhaps someone else got FYTW.

      • whiz

        Hah, good thought.

      • whiz

        I was curious about whether NH would allow FYTW or similar vanity plates. The prohobitions are plates that:
        Include a zero;
        Imply an affiliation with a government entity that is not true;
        Refer to or be associated with any of the following subjects, in any language, whether read forward, backward, by mirror image or by phonetic spelling:
        Intimate body parts or genitals;
        Sexual or excretory acts or functions;
        Words or terms of profanity or obscenity;
        Violence;
        Illegal activities;
        Drugs, drug culture or illegal intoxicants;
        Gangs; or
        Racial, ethnic, religious, gender or sexual orientation hatred or bigotry;
        Have more than 7 characters;
        Have more than 2 ampersands, plus signs, or minus signs, and which shall not be consecutive, such as &&;
        Have any characters other than ampersands, numerals, plus signs, minus signs, or letters;
        Have only numerals or only numerals and ampersands, plus signs, or minus signs; and
        Have characters or combinations of characters which may cause difficulty of distinction or identification.

        So acronyms are OK (?). Curious that &,+, and – are allowed — I don’t think they are here in IA.

      • whiz

        Hmm, I found a way to check whether NH plates are taken, FYTW is not.

  20. whiz

    In other news, apparently David French has decided that X is such a cesspool that he’s leaving.

    • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

      Pours out a glass of water for a lame ass.

      • R.J.

        No. He gets nothing.

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        So, wine then?

        Worse than nothing, no?

      • R.J.

        He’s given us all plenty of whine.

    • R C Dean

      *insert “Oh, no . . . Anyway” meme*

      “Insert “Well, . . . Bye” meme*

  21. The Late P Brooks

    In other news, apparently David French has decided that X is such a cesspool that he’s leaving.

    *moment of silence*

  22. Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

    I live in one of the TwoTowns of this cider fame. The stuff isn’t bad, better than any wine, but certainly not beer, of which we have many, many brewery’s around. The wife likes it mixed with seltzer water, and will try any of their different flavors.

  23. R.J.

    Halloween party again tonight. So, so not into it. Very loud. Many kids. Wish to be at home.