I am so excited; I feel like I’m exploding inside. It’s my first Thanksgiving with my best friend Hunter and his wonderful family! I love them all so much. There’s Grandpa Joe and Hunter’s daughter Finnegan and Karine, a random Black lady, and Grandma Jill, who is a Doctor! They are all so accomplished. And I get to have two Thanksgivings! One in the White House and then one in Delaware! In Delaware, I’ll get to see my friend Commander again! He is a very good dog, he only bites me a little. I love them all so much, like they are my very own family.
“Sharpen the appetite, donchaknow,” Hunter says as he pries off a piece of me with his fingernail.
“Good choice, friend,” I tells him. “That is a particularly sweet piece of me, like cherry chalky rock candy.”
“Every part of you is sweet, Cracky, like the first time you get to break in a new pussy,” he says. Hunter is so funny. I could listens to him tell jokes all day.
“I mean, fuck, Dad,” Finnegan says. “It’s goddamn Thanksgiving. Can you take at least today off?”
“That doesn’t sound like me,” Hunter says. He tucks me in his armpit and that piece of me flares red then white in his glass pipe. It’s like I can feels myself sliding into his lungs–silky soft shuddering squirming surcease of sensation. I sighs as Hunter blows phat clouds.
“I demand mashed potatoes,” Hunter says. “Many mashed potatoes. And gravies.”
“I loves gravies!” I says from his armpit.
Hunter follows Finnegan up the ladder from his underground office. I can’t sees much from his jock strap but I knows Hunter will gets us where we’re going. Hunter is on the nod as we passes through the Oval Office and across the West Wing to the formal dining room. Grandpa Joe is sitting at the heads of the table, staring still at the charred remains of his birthday cake. I wanted a bite but Hunter says I needs to watch my figure.
“Daddy!’ Hunter says, planting a kiss on the gaping mouth of his father. They are such a close family. I loves being a part of it.
“Mashed potatoes,” Grandpa Joe says. They are his favorites.
Doctor Grandma Jill comes in, followed by her gradual students. The talls one with a man bun pulls out her chair. I cans smell his dissertation topic on his breath.
“Let’s eat!’ Hunter says. Doctor Grandma Jill coughs loudly.
“Mashed potatoes,” Grandpa Joe says again. “I needs the mashed potatoes.”
“I need the mashed potatoes too,” Hunter adds. “It feels like bugs unders my skin. They wants gravies. Many gravies!”
Hunter takes me outs of his pocket with a flourish and sets me on the plate besides him.
“I do not wants that on my tables!” Doctor Grandma Jill growls.
“He has a name, Stepmother,” Hunter says. I smiles, Hunter always has my backs.
“Do not start talking like him,” Doctor Grandma Jill says.
“Cracky. His name is Cracky and we are in love!” Hunter shouts.
I sees my name on the placard in fronts of my plate. I smiles so wide I cracks in half.
That birthday cake looks like a goddam forest fire.
“I cans smell his dissertation topic on his breath.”
Someone is a cunning linguist.
CuninLynguists
i am the God of Hellfire… and oral exams.
My favorite line. I will use it.
When do you run into gender studies grad students?
Photo caption: “Joe Biden Opens the Gates of Hell.”
The talls one with a man bun pulls out her chair. I cans smell his dissertation topic on his breath.
Eep.
“Today’s episode is brought to you by the letter ‘S.'”
Once you’ve had plurals you never go back
Fucking fantastic.
What’s the etiquette for crack? Does it go to the left or the right of your setting?
I think it goes right during wartime.
Pass the Dutchie (on the left hand side)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsyUa63NM1E
How do you function in polite society? Do you just hold it all in until you can dump on Glibs?
You are assuming facts not in evidence.
An honest question but I don’t want to know the answer
He’s even better in person, honestly.
By all accounts (OMWC’s), SF is a lovely man in public and not the least bit odd.
I have only seen him, and not had a conversation, so I can verify that… SF exists.
SF is a lovely man in public
The question is how does he achieve that with all this stuff rumbling around in his brain.
The Shadow knows.
Wait, this stuff doesn’t rattle around yours?
I thought… I mean… Hmmm.
Just looking for pointers, perhaps.
I have met him several times. He is a lovely and charming man.
Of course, he’s also one of the few people who I’ve met in the wild who has read some of the same obscure authors as me.
Though I’ve met him in person, I can’t say it was in a setting of polite society – it was a Glib gathering. But honestly, looking at him, you would not know what he harbors inside.
“what evil lurks in the hearts of men”
Wait, you mean that wasn’t supposed to be polite?
Darnit, I used up all my civility medication* to be there. I could have just folded into my introvert self instead.
*lies, I have no such thing
If you had been any more introverted you would have been inside the wall looking out.
That nook between the table and the other table was comfortable.
“I can’t say it was in a setting of polite society – it was a Glib gathering. “
Bravo.
That much is true. Also SF is a very nice person in person.
In addition I wish we had some kind of name tags written in code so I could try to remember everyone’s faces, handles, and names.
Avatars
You just want to be meta and have your mustache underneath your mustache, don’t you?
The stash did help with JI.
Also Warty was easy to identify being a huge man
Indeed. Mine is just an office picture.
I think just handle and name would have been enough. Trying to coordinate avatars would have been… difficult.
This is how I look in real life.
Then who was it I actually talked to?
The WH staff knows whom to obey.
Now that Cracky has split in half, the plurals could get confusing.
Will two Cracky halves talk to each other? Finish each other’s sentences?
In the spirit of family gatherings, I hope there is a place setting for little Navy Joan.
Look fat, we acknowledged her and the media did their bidding and now we don’t have to worry about it.
“Karine, a random Black lady”
Took me a while to get past this. It was quite a long pause for laughter.
There could’ve been a nice Rolling Stones tie-in… “she was practiced at the art of deception”.
Foregoing mashed potatoes tomorrow, possibly for a while.
Hahahaha! I have to make 5 pounds of the stuff for tomorrow.
Fed-up with the shitty data acquisition system the company uses, I went old-school and bought a Yokogawa HR1300 hybrid chart recorder.
Let’s see how the kids feel about how we did shit in the 1990’s.
This is funny.
https://www.chip1stop.com/USA/en/view/dispDetail/DispDetail?partId=YODK-0000141
Thats the one! Sitting on my kitchen table while I try to remember how to use the damn thing.
Can you still find the ink pens or does it use a reservoir?
Its a ribbon much like a typewriter.
Correct me if I’m wrong but I thought crack killed the appetite not sharpen it?
I met someone who was admittedly doing coke, but they said their favorite thing was to get fucked up and then start cooking.
I knew a couple of crack heads at my local bar back in the day. By their girth they appeared to like eating as much as the crack.
Maybe they meant butt crack?
https://www.powerlineblog.com/ed-assets/2023/11/Screenshot-2023-11-22-at-8.02.11%E2%80%AFAM.png
I LOLed. Reason, the extremist libertarian magazine, indeed.
Can’t access the link. Powerline blocks linking to items in a list (that’s usually the issue).
Still with the Koch brothers, despite one of the two being dead. Once again, the “nationalist conservative” is a half-breed progressive.
Zombie Koch does have the ring of an SF villain, no?
A shoo-in for the Legion of Doom-cock.
Try this. Scroll down.
https://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2023/11/loose-ends-238.php
thanks
Evidently they dont know about Froot Sushi and his inability to change a flat
“Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?” OK, probably not all that exciting. But it is funny.
Be funnier if the other car was driven by Ryan Stiles.
“Whose Lane Is It, Anyway?”
For OMWC https://twitter.com/SallyMayweather/status/1727131341722939616/photo/1
Happy Thanksgiving!
My eyes! My eyes! My carpet, my shoes. You know how hard it is to clean up projectile vomiting after one’s eyes have exploded??
I do feel sorry for Greta. Her existence must be absolutely miserable, being consumed with such undeserved guilt.
I don’t. I don’t feel sorry for any of the ruling class or their minions or useful idiots, no matter what their personal situations or problems are. Senile dementia? Ass cancer? Dog died?
Don’t care. Fuck you.
*raises right index finger*
I will second that.
Please tell me some demented individual skilled in photoshop did that…..
Please tell me its not real….
Hollywood style, cars just explode! /msm explanation
As always, 48 hour rule is in effect.
All four land border crossings between the US and Canada have now been closed.
All four eh? That’s some cracky journalisming there.
I think there are four in that part of NYS alone,
Given these, photos gonna say a highspeed crash right into a pylon and split the car
Can’t believe they closed the rainbow bridge
How is my crazy conservative uncle from Asgard gonna visit us this Thanksgiving?
How long til the QUILTBAG brigade claims it is an attack on their culture?
I’m sure MSNBC is on that right now.
You guys need to focus on my Norse mythology joke.
Lack of recognition a thor spot for ya? You should probably try to keep the jokes low-key.
Yes this point really needs to be hammered home.
Sorry we were all too low key.
Dammit, just realized I didn’t read past thor spot.
[throws flag] 5 yards for two puns in motion before the snap
“Explosives were uncovered in the vehicle, the sources said. “
https://nypost.com/2023/11/22/news/rainbow-bridge-leading-into-us-near-closes-after-car-explosion-officials/
Anonymous sources. 48 hour rule def applies.
“The driver had been waved through past one checkpoint, and then accelerated and hit the barrier at the second checkpoint, sources said. ”
“The car was allegedly going 100 mph when it crashed, according to a witness. ”
How far apart are those two checkpoints ?
Cynical side of me can only think this….. “See! We need this! (And if you don’t… we’ll unleash more of the crackpots we foster and fester online!)”
My experience with our neighbors was back in the 70’s. Canada – was like going to another state in the US. Maybe there was one guy and a phone booth sized ‘checkpoint’. People went back and forth – no one thought a thing about it and nothing bad happened.
Mexico – Checkpoints for US and Mexico but no stamps, body searches etc. Lots of people going back and forth but not much happened.
The state of the world today with rampant drug smuggling, human trafficking, terrorist attacks…what a shit mess. I blame it all on leftist policies. The damage those fuckers do is incalculable .
I will be asking for more gravies tomorrow.
Firstivus is coming. The day of the year when Firsters gather in the woods and First, and First, and First until only one is left Firsting as the others have collapsed in exhaustion.
Firsting is the most anti-progressive ideology that has ever existed for there is simply no way to progress beyond the First. It proves that the notion of an never-ending march forward, there is only one level of attainable greatness that is objective and measurable at all times throughout human history.
Want to see my surprised face?
Ex-Obama aide Stuart Seldowitz denies being ‘Islamophobic guy’ after he’s ID’d as man harassing halal cart vendor
It’s always projection with Team Blue.
He’s not Islamophobic. He’s just an elitist cunt who looks down on everyone who didn’t serve The Light Bringer.
“It’s probably me”?!
I think I’d remember if I shit-talked a vendor on multiple occasions. I’d also be able to identify myself in a not-fuzzy video.
Being forced to ‘fess up to that really had to…sting… https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SUYI7kIR0S4
Here is a Cornucopia of music for your Thanksgiving.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxqtRnGceNo
I decided to get to the store before the nightmare before Thanksgiving gets spooled up. I think I’ll be having “butterflied crunchy shrimp” for dinner tomorrow.
No gravies, unless you count cocktail sauce.
For some reason I had to go to the grocery store on both Thanksgiving Eve and Christmas Eve in the same year. Do not recommend.
I tried going yesterday. Traffic was horrendous.
I went yesterday, and told the girlfriend that if she wanted anything it had best be on the list.
There’s not a chance in hell I was going to the stores today.
I have reservations at a lovely restaurant for TG dinner. The best part is, I don’t have to have turkey if I don’t want it. And I don’t.
Yeah, I don’t care for the traditional turkey dinner anymore.
I placed an order for delivery from Safeway. Coming tomorrow morning. Which is fine because my group shindig isn’t until Friday.
Tomorrow is for pork chops and football. Just me in my jammies. And the cat of course.
It’s a good thing I swung by the bank on the way to Winco. The total came to “more than I had when I left the house.” It’s etting to the point where fifty bucks won’t cover the basics.
Somebody meme-enabled should do Biden as the guy in Animal House telling everybody to remain calm in the middle of the stampede.
You’re just a liar, haven’t you seen the glorious news?
Cranberries are 18% cheaper!
Speaking of, time for some cranberry juice and relaxation as I wait for dishes to finish. Has anyone else seen this new crazy cranberry juice commercial?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlkB9JlMzUM
I mean…sure
Still got nothing on the Japanese banana dude.
*facepalm*
They are just so weird in so many ways.
What does an incestuous circle jerk have to do with Thanksgiving?
Propping up ‘modern’ culture to ensure the masses this is normal?
Hit reply too soon. Sorta like Polanski and Hollywood defending him then Epstien, its all to say this is okay behavior
Biden Administration Says Cost Of Thanksgiving Dinner Is Down As Long As You Don’t Buy Anything
https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-administration-says-cost-of-thanksgiving-dinner-is-down-this-year-if-you-dont-buy-anything
At this point, the Bee has to be the only organization in America getting tired of winning.
I dont see them winning. The actual things the left is up to is killing comedy and parody especially.
Read that headline to the Mrs just now and she thought it was a real headline instead of the Bee.
To defend them, I only spent about $2 for the dessert I’m bringing tomorrow. Of course, that’s not counting all of the ingredients and items I already had on hand.
Meringue? shortbread? custard?
A pumpkin bundt cake. New (to me) recipe, and using an untested bundt pan. Slightly overcooked on the edges, as the pan was a bit too small for the amount of batter made (extra batter was loaded into ramekins and baked off in the toaster oven). Next time I use the pan, I’ll probably drop the cooking temperature 25 degrees or so.
The girlfriend wants to do powdered sugar over it, I’m tending towards a maple/coffee glaze.
Just being facetious, trying to think of the cheapest desserts.
Sounds yummy. I’m with you: glaze.
Thinking it through… I would think simple sugar cookies would wind up being the cheapest to make. Although if you’ve got frozen egg whites from making custards and the like, angel food cake is pretty simple and cheap (if you’ve got the pan for it).
My current Tday project was pretty expensive: https://ibb.co/sypfTmK
Orange jello and grated carrots, what’s not to like?
That is correct. A couple bags of groceries sets me back a cool 100 nowadays.
Not to worry. Bidenomics has your back.
Amazing
As long as you define the middle class as laptop warriors and union wage apes
The Biden campaign is set to air a pair of ads in Michigan and Wisconsin on Thanksgiving during the NFL game between the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, looking to bolster the president’s appeal to the middle class.
——-
The first ad, titled “Never Left,” highlights Biden’s middle class upbringing in Scranton, Pa., and features archival photos and video of the president when he was younger.
The second ad, titled “Finally,” focuses on the White House’s efforts to lower prescription drug costs by giving Medicare the ability to negotiate prices, and it specifically cites legislation that capped insulin prices for seniors.
“This Thanksgiving as Americans come together, we are proud to highlight how President Biden and Vice President Harris are focused on the issues that matter most to American families and delivering real tangible results that are lowering costs for everyday Americans,” Biden campaign manager Julie Chavez Rodriguez said in a statement.
Lowering costs. Fifty is the new twenty.
Yeah, maybe sit this Thanksgiving out, Biden Campaign. Apart from the folks who will be stifling indigestion at thoughts of spiraling costs, rampant crime, etc., there will be a contingent thinking “Goddammit, I just want to watch a football game.”
“Next year’s election will determine whether we continue to fight for and strengthen American workers and the middle class or provide handouts to billionaires like MAGA Republicans have proposed time and time again,” she added. “The American people have a choice next November and our campaign will remind them early and often just how stark that choice is.”
Handouts to billionaires- like allowing them to keep some of their money?
Do tell how the dems strengthen workers and the middle class. Is it by saying “That which does not kill them, makes them stronger?”
The car was allegedly going 100 mph when it crashed, according to a witness. ”
How far apart are those two checkpoints ?
Maybe it was a Tesla Plaid.
Bugatti Chiron.
“according to a witness”
might be a bit speculative
Why would anyone, even Hunter, take a selfie mid-dentistry? Revolting.
Well, he did abandon a child, shack up with his dead brother’s wife, etc. His thought processes don’t seem particularly measured.
He is a shameless hedonist who appears to relish in making people puke in their mouths.
I wonder how much he had to pay the hookers. They probably had to get stoned first and still charged an extra 4 digits.
There is something very very creepy about that guy.
Do tell how the dems strengthen workers and the middle class.
Joe is the most worker friendly President ever. He stood with the UAW, right on the picket line. Remember that when you’re trying to keep your ten year old car on the road because you can’t afford a new one.
Most excellent!