IFLA: The “Nothing Changes” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of Dec 31

by | Dec 31, 2023 | IFLA | 182 comments

Good afternoon and I hope you’ve got sufficient liquor stocked up.  For 2024, I mean.

Yeah, the stars indicate that 2024 will be a shitshow.  Lots of fighting, lots of being stupidly stubborn (even knowingly so), lots of endings, lots of well-intentioned attempts going horribly awry.  There are three good signs for next year though.  Apparently it’s going to be a good year for comfort, and the pursuits amorous and/or intellectual.  There will also be at least one species of fish going extinct.

As far as this actual week, it’s a pretty good one.  Especially on Thursday when the moon aligns with a Jupiter that is returning to direct motion which is a solid indicator of good fortune.  Then the very next day Mercury also returns to direct motion, breaking up at least some of the nonsense that you’ve been experiencing.

Capricorn: The Moon reversed – Instability, inconstancy, silence, lesser degrees of deception and error.

Aquarius: 10 of Coins – Gain, riches; family matters, archives, extraction, the abode of a family. 

Pisces: Page of Wands reversed – Anecdotes, announcements, evil news, indecision, instability.

Aries: 7 of Cups reversed – Desire, will, determination, project.

Taurus: 6 of Swords – Journey by water, route, way, envoy, commissionary, expedient.

Gemini: Ace of Wands reversed – Fall, decadence, ruin, perdition, clouded joy.

Cancer: The Lovers – Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome.

Leo: 5 of Wands reversed – Litigation, disputes, trickery, contradiction.

Virgo: 3 of Swords – Removal, absence, delay, division, rupture, dispersion.

Libra: 10 of Swords – Pain, affliction, tears, sadness, desolation.

Scorpio: 10 of Wands – Oppression, but it is also fortune, gain, any kind of success, and then it is the oppression of these things. It is also a card of false-seeming, disguise, perfidy. 

Sagittarius: 7 of Wands reversed – Perplexity, embarrassments, anxiety. It is also a caution against indecision.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

182 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 7 of Wands reversed ā€“ Perplexity, embarrassments, anxiety. It is also a caution against indecision.

    Indecision kills. Or so I have heard.

    • The Other Kevin

      Being a fellow Sagittarius I can agree with you that. Or on second thought maybe not.

  2. hayeksplosives

    Aries: 7 of Cups reversed ā€“ Desire, will, determination, project.

    Suspiciously unshitty. Still. Iā€™ll take it. Sounds suitable for return-to-work week.

    2024 is going to be a very busy work year.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Has your company heard more from the fired guy (if you can talk about it)?

      • hayeksplosives

        He hasnā€™t addressed the company directly but he has resumed texting me and one of my direct reports.

        Heā€™s under doctorsā€™ care at least. Thatā€™s all I can say.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Oy.

  3. Tres Cool

    Apropos since I’ve been considering jumping ship at Current Companyā„¢ this week.

    Virgo: 3 of Swords ā€“ Removal, absence, delay, division, rupture, dispersion.

      • Tres Cool

        The grass is likely greener someplace else.
        And on a recent project I had a real issue with how they view safety. It was dark, very little light on a platform 220′ up, and they expected me to work my guys.
        I said “no dice” and it became a minor pissing match between the client and one of the company’s VPs (she’s his favorite client).
        I have a decades-long history of making poor personal choices but I wont jeopardize the safety of my guys.

      • Fourscore

        A very small fall can produce serious injuries. Fact.

        Good for you, TC, that’s what leadership is all about.

      • Tres Cool

        Selfishly, I dont want to be the person that has to call family, spouses, et al and say “Yeah….we had an incident. ______ isnt coming home.”

      • Tres Cool

        Citation:
        [url=https://postimg.cc/gw7vLXn0][img]https://i.postimg.cc/gw7vLXn0/IMG-4269.jpg[/img][/url]

        [url=https://postimg.cc/hJvLGb4w][img]https://i.postimg.cc/hJvLGb4w/IMG-4275.jpg[/img][/url]

        [url=https://postimg.cc/RWX19bmK][img]https://i.postimg.cc/RWX19bmK/IMG-4295.jpg[/img][/url]

      • Tres Cool

        Thats what I get for linking from my phone.
        Meh…you can sort it out.

      • Fourscore

        A long ways up in the dark,

        I had to learn to climb fixed microwave towers, I was terrified. Once I got the belt secured it was OK to work but the ladder was white knuckle time.

  4. Mojeaux, font of all evil

    Taurus: 6 of Swords ā€“ Journey by water, route, way, envoy, commissionary, expedient.

    šŸ„“

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      So you’re signing up for Glibcruise?

      • Mojeaux, font of all evil

        Nope. Maybe it’s saying, “Get your ass to the community center pool.”

      • Gender Traitor

        Yes, I think it is. šŸ˜‰

    • Tres Cool

      Thats more to my liking. Now just slash the price in half and Im willing to make an offer.

      • Fourscore

        The siding looks like chip board. I do like the lots of windows though.

      • R C Dean

        Yeah, it doesnā€™t look finished. Be very, very wary. If the builder flat ran out of money before he could put siding up, you donā€™t know what other corners were cut.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Note the deck isn’t quite on the concrete supports.

    • juris imprudent

      Bwahahahaha – $500 per sq ft? Must think they’re selling to Californians.

  5. PieInTheSky

    Cancer: The Lovers ā€“ Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome. – fat chance of that

    • hayeksplosives

      Not with THAT attitude!

  6. creech

    A neighbor’s golden doodle disappeared from their yard on Christmas Day What kind of scum would steal a family pet or, if they found a wandering dog, wouldn’t notify the appropriate folks? It was a grandma’s companion and she is devastated.

    • juris imprudent

      Eh, coyotes are that kind of scum; hopefully that isn’t the reason for the disappearance.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Breed-specific thieves are a phenomenon too.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Apologies for my cynicism. Some people I suppose just don’t think of dogs as family members.

  7. juris imprudent

    In the ded-thred, kinnath said:

    The problem they are trying to address is real.

    The solution they picked is bad.

    Isn’t that the essence of politics?

    [just got back from birthday girl horseback ride, in time for the game, now I am requested to get some wings a-cookin’]

    • Gustave Lytton

      birthday girl horseback ride

      šŸ˜

      • Tres Cool

        Are we even trying to euphemism any more?

      • juris imprudent

        She was riding English – how’s that?

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        You put fake buck teeth on her?

    • kinnath

      Isnā€™t that the essence of politics?

      Pretty much

  8. DEG

    Nice dog videos.

    Pain, affliction, tears, sadness, desolation.

    Whelp, I thought the universe was healing because all my cars are now V8s. I guess not. Back to sufficiently shitty.

  9. PieInTheSky

    those dogs would enjoy some paragliding

  10. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Canā€™t decide if I want to go to a New Yearā€™s party tonight. Itā€™s about an hour drive and Iā€™m questioning driving a lot on New Yearā€™s night.

    • Don escaped Texas

      can you get a room to which you could safely crawl in the early hours ?

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Not really

    • Ownbestenemy

      Ya we backed out of our party. I woke up with a frog in my throat so better safe than sorry right? /Sips bourbon

  11. prolefeed

    We’re gonna go to a comedy show, then sit in our hot tub with the yard Christmas lights on, and watch fireworks and listen to some celebratory gun fire.

    • hayeksplosives

      This is my first New Yearā€™s Eve in WA, so I donā€™t know if there will be fireworks or what. There were a few on Christmas Eve, oddly enough, but just a few.

      Itā€™s gonna be football and Welchā€™s sparkling grape juice for me tonight. Gonna try a couple of months of abstinence and see where it goes from there.

      Have a safe and happy one, yā€™all!

      • prolefeed

        I get to choose between abstinence and heartburn (aka a sleepness night with 5 hours of great pain)

        Not a tough call.

        Sucks having my body turn me LDS-ish again.

    • Tres Cool

      Having visited my ghetto Kroger, I’m about to throw in a pork tenderloin as Jugsy is “starving”.
      An afternoon of beer, food, and football. Likely in bed well before midnight.

      Also, I made a stop on my way to the Black MarketĀ®…….GT YOUR DAMN CHRISTMAS PRESENT IS SITTING ON YOUR MAILBOX!
      (….since you don’t read your texts)

      • Gender Traitor

        Of course I believe!!

        I don’t dare NOT believe! šŸ˜³

        (Thanks, homey!)

      • Aloysious

        STEVE SMITH LIKE STUFF TENDER-LOINS.

    • Ownbestenemy

      We are expecting a lot of booms here in the backish country. I mean, they lit fireworks on Christmas and I am not talking sparklers.

      • DEG

        Fireworks have already started here in southern NH.

        Just in time for me to take a nap. NYE tonight is a dance party on the Seacoast. I will be fashionably late as the party starts at 7.

  12. Q Continuum

    Q: Who’s the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
    A: The one who carries a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

    Q: Who’s the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
    A: The one who can eat the last doughnut.

    • PieInTheSky

      it may be true fatherhood comes with really bad jokes

      • Tres Cool

        Tres Ver 2.0 will confirm that.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    $500 per sq ft? Must think theyā€™re selling to Californians.

    Alpine is cheaper than Jackson, but it isn’t exactly a ghetto.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    I just caught this little snippet: “all the attributes of a Raven”

    In other words, a thug?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Itā€™s good to be the king.

    • Lackadaisical

      Good for him?

      Hope he doesn’t let it get to his head.

      • R.J.

        Wasn’t he a sex instructor or something at one time? Or is that another f those oddball press rumors?

  15. Toxteth O'Grady

    So many EOY pleas on YT for Unicef at al. As if!

    • The Other Kevin

      A kid down the street caught Unicef one time. It was sad.

    • Fourscore

      I asked the Missus which organization she was going to send her $19 @ month to. Hoping to get dinner but it could be iffy.

  16. The Other Kevin

    We just pulled out Tickle me Elmo from the attic. Still works.

    • Ownbestenemy

      If that didn’t give off red sirens I don’t know what will

      • The Other Kevin

        Looks like the jokes still work too.

      • Ted S.

        Q: What’s the last thing they do with Elmo dolls before the dolls leave the factory?
        A: Give them two test tickles.

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      I may wear a dress for shits n giggles

      • Tres Cool

        If Sam Brinton hasn’t stolen it already.

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      I did wear a dress

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        And lipstick (well, lip stain, which means I will still be wearing it tomorrow)

  17. LCDR_Fish

    /nerd – finally played my first game of 40K yesterday with a buddy from work (also his first game). Technically speaking a 1000 point game should be completed in about 2 hours – we were at 4 1/2 hours or so at the end of Turn 3 – so I conceded because of time and I couldn’t see a way forward. His Tyranids vs my Space Marines. A lot of fun but definitely a lot of mini-roadblocks on rules questions when you’re both playing for the first time. I think the next one will run a lot smoother, but it was great after 6 months of building and prepping and painting and talking about it at work – to finally sit down in a local game shop on an empty table to play it out. Hoping to maybe make it a monthly thing between us – and maybe some other guys at work – we’ll see.

    • Lackadaisical

      Glad you’re able to play. My brother recently got into 40k, he said the rules were too extensive to make the game fun/as playable as it could be. He started doing a different version with a condensed ruleset of some sort. Kill team?

      • LCDR_Fish

        Kill Team is an alternate with a very small team (bought that but kinda set aside). What I’ll probably try next is the Combat Patrol variant (less than 500 points) – so my buddy can play his Marine army. I think 95%+ of the rules are the same though at scale.

  18. LCDR_Fish

    For tonight – got a ticket to the local brewery for their party – buffet starts at 6:30 – I plan to be buzzed and full (and on my way home) well before the first champagne toast at 9 (even if they are included in the ticket). Looks like it won’t be as cold as previously forecast for the evening (which is nice) – and completely dry (even better) – for my long walk.

    As far as good NRO articles – some decent ones this week – if anyone is interested in the 4 parter on Tocqueville’s commentary on the 1840s French Revolution by Dan McLaughlin – I can post those later.

    • DEG

      Looks like it wonā€™t be as cold as previously forecast for the evening (which is nice) ā€“ and completely dry (even better) ā€“ for my long walk.

      Excellent.

      It was pretty warm here today. I washed one of my fun cars. It’s supposed to be warmer tomorrow than today. If so, I’ll run the leaf blower again and wash my daily driver car.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Back home now (pics of my dinner on twitter) – and it’s apparently warmer outside now than when I left. 2.5 miles home but after 3 beers still somewhat buzzed – how does that work anyhoo. Maybe I should have gone for 4, but starting as late as I did at that location, didn’t feel like it – I’ll drink more tomorrow when I make some slow cooker spaghetti.

      • Ted S.

        I finished up the leftover Christmas turkey and stuffing, as well as the bottle of Cortese di Gavi that I uncorked on Christmas.

  19. hayeksplosives

    Whoaā€”cardinals beat the Eagles? I quit watching too soon!

  20. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    The importance of proper planning for RV living: I decided to do dishes before I took a shower, now I have no hot water to take a shower. So I gotta wait, like, an hour.

    • Tres Cool

      60 minutes?
      I can be ready.

  21. creech

    There needs to be one more bowl game: the Toilet Bowl. Then Eagles and Chiefs can settle which last year Super Bowl team is most pathetic this year.

    • Tres Cool

      The Tommy Chong Bowl.

      You get baked, watch Star Trek, and order chinese food

      • Spudalicious

        That…sounds glorious…

    • Mojeaux, font of all evil

      Husband: Ouch.

      Me: Not wrong.

      Husband: That’s why I said “ouch.”

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        So he’s recovering?

      • Mojeaux, font of all evil

        Oh, yes, he’s fine. A rotator cuff repair is painful, yes, but it’s more inconvenience. Worth it, tho.

  22. Timeloose

    Happy NYE everyone. Iā€™ve been keeping myself isolated. I think I had / have the flu or COVd. Just now feeling better. I had to cancel our NYE trip to visit our friends.

    My extended holiday has been relaxing, but reality will be returning on Tuesday.

    • Tres Cool

      A week ago I was recovering from some respiratory junk I picked up either out west, or during my travels home.
      2 CoVID tests said negative, but the fatigue I experienced all week makes me think otherwise.

      Feel better for 2024!

      • Timeloose

        Thanks

    • Gender Traitor

      Happy New Year’s Eve, ‘loosey! Glad you’re feeling better!

      • Timeloose

        Thank you.

  23. Evan from Evansville

    This has not been a good year for Evan. Depression hitting me pretty hard, but typing this out got me thinking about it in full. Always look on the bright side of life, ev. January began fantastically. Was getting good at being the managing editor, and being virtually the sole person running a northern IN newspaper. In a new town as a rookie journalist, though from a newspaper family.

    As soon as I moved into my own place, I lost control over everything within a couple months. Today has not been terribly kind to me, emotionally and psychologically. OH! And physically. I have no recollection of how I somehow tweaked my right knee. I also did something monstrously irresponsible. I won’t get into it. No one was injured nor harmed but me. (Not on purpose.)

    “Look for smiley faces in headlights.” After five months of unemployment, I am back at it. Part time at an elementary school. Me no likey, but it will look great on a resume, though doing something I actively want to avoid. Stepping stones are good and this one is crucial. I’m quite certain my life has more bizarre Ups/Downs than ‘normal.’ This is likely bullshit, as I’ve never had my own family. I’m made of a lot of titanium, have brain damage as well as gout. (Well 3x so far.) Shingles at age 18 is a good example of the strange curveballs that come my way.

    This is an important Bounce Back year and moment. I hope everyone has a wonderful 2024. Especially if ’23 didn’t suit you. Onward. Upward. Always.

    • Tres Cool

      Allons-y !

  24. robodruid

    i just want to say to hell with 2023.
    Lawsuits, arrests, crippling loans to defend ourselves. It has been bad.

    I hope 2024 starts better. First court hearing Jan 10th, then another on the 18th.

    • Gender Traitor

      I hope all this nonsense is resolved in your favor ASAP!

    • Evan from Evansville

      Straight-the-fuck-up, proper. *Fist-bump from afar*

      Fucking ’23 was a bad prime. I hope your New Year goes as best as can be. With as few unwanted twists, and as little extra effort as possible.

      • robodruid

        right back at ya!

  25. Fourscore

    Good luck, 2024, to all the Glibs. I can hardly wait to get up tomorrow morning, preview the new year, scoff at the old one.

    We made it! In spite of all the damage inflicted upon us politically here we are!

    • Don escaped Texas

      I keep waking up next to NewWife: I shall not want.

      Filets come off in two minutes a hint past rare. She has decanted a chianti, far from my favorite, but it ain’t gonna drink itself.

      • R.J.

        Excellent. Drink some for me. I still have some flu and am relaxing in bed with Wife who will Tolerate Me.

        I tried to watch ABCā€™s year-end review and the culture made me vomit in my mouth.

      • Ted S.

        Local TV station had a year-end review with an obnoxious piano bed.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I just finished watching the new year celebration in London with the kiddos (it’s better than letting them stay up late to watch NYC). London’s year in review was baked into the fireworks show and consisted of new monarchs, NHS anniversary, and gay marriage.

      • R.J.

        Probably better than ABC national. I am watching the weather year in review now.

      • Winded

        TCM comedy marathon not a bad choice tonight…Spaceballs, Top Secret, Spinal Tap, Fear of a Black Hat, Kentucky Fried Movie.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah; they’re not doing a Thin Man or That’s Entertainment marathon like they so often do.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Why would TCM show actual classics when they can show modernist stuff like every other outlet?

  26. Tres Cool

    Luckily I have low expectations. Cincinnati isnt disappointing me.

  27. R C Dean

    ā€œLitigation, disputes, trickery, contradiction.ā€

    Not necessarily bad news for a lawyer.

  28. Sensei

    The perfect NYC story.

    Retired NYPD captain shoots man after possible Brooklyn road dispute: Source

    1. No mention of the dude shot actually having a weapon.
    2. in NYC only the king’s men and a select few have 2A rights.
    3. “Retired” cop on 18 year disability leave. Do you just accrue seniority to Captain while actually not working?

    My guess is it was the typical NYC street argument and Capt Cop decided to start waving his piece around and he accidentally pulled the trigger, but who knows. Capt Cop will naturally say it looked like he was pulling a weapon. After a lengthy and some more paid time off for Capt Cop it will be determined that no laws were broken.

    • rhywun

      And he was probably double-dipping as a security guard somewhere all that time.

      • Gustave Lytton

        But if not, he returned from disability to retire so can take that next job without limitation.

    • Ted S.

      Negligently, not accidentally.

    • Tres Cool

      “he was coming right for us!”

  29. hayeksplosives

    Glib zoom is empty. Iā€™ll check back later.

    Hope everyone is having some degree of fun tonight!

    • Ted S.

      I’m enjoying the Packer game so far.

      Joe Barry hasn’t fucked it up yet.

    • Chafed

      A good run indeed.

  30. The Other Kevin

    Happy new year!

  31. LCDR_Fish

    I love anything muppet-related -https://twitter.com/HistoryMuppet/status/1741492816851734639?t=JorSC1fltnMVJe2aHesXEw&s=19

    • LCDR_Fish

      I guess cut the dash in front.

  32. Tres Cool

    I was just in GlibZoom, rockin’ out with my c**k out.
    Empty. Just like my OnlyFans.

    /kicks rocks

  33. Brochettaward

    Tonight I will attempt the most death-defying First you will ever witness. A perfect New Years First. It could collapse the Firstline and all timezones could combine into one

  34. Chafed

    Has anyone heard from Pie? I want to know what happens in the future.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Almost day 2 for straf.

      • Chafed

        I can’t remember when I last saw Straffinrun-san here.

    • Mojeaux, font of all evil

      Come on the Zooms. Straff’s here. They have flying cars there now.

      • Chafed

        Thanks for the invitation. I’m about to start a movie with daughter #1. Tell Straff not to point his death ray at me.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There’s streaming news live on YouTube these days. The flying cars are the ones going airborne for a 1-3 seconds before having an accident. Seriously, everyday it seems to be car accidents, fires, and snow (well for Hokkaido news).

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        Can confirm

  35. Gustave Lytton

    Second bottle of champagne has been opened.

    • Chafed

      I hope you’re sharing some with the wife.

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s all splits because we’re both lightweights. No Pol Roger Sir Winston Churchill here.

  36. Sean

    2023 was amazing for me. I’m sorry for you peeps who had otherwise.

    *preps champagne*

  37. Gender Traitor

    Happy New Year, Glibbies! šŸ„³

    • Sean

      Same to you!

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      Happy New Year, GT!

  38. Sean

    Happy New Years y’all!

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      Happy New Year!

    • slumbrew

      Bonne annƩe!

      • slumbrew

        Flipping around, I see Green Day playing New Yearā€™s Rockin Eve.

        So punk rock. Good to see them keeping it real.

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        I saw the promo for that and LOLed.

      • hayeksplosives

        Thereā€™s a ā€œFirst 48 Marathonā€ on TV now. Gonna give it a try!

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        It’s a first-rate true crime show.

      • Brochettaward

        I think the list of punk bands who aren’t complete frauds is a lot shorter. Green Day doesn’t even qualify for the list. Just generic boiler plate progressives.

  39. Festus

    I hope that at least one of these assholes blew a a hand off during the big dick fireworks wank of 2024.

  40. hayeksplosives

    The midnight fireworks continue here north of Seattle! No fire danger( itā€™s been a typical winter wet season.

    Happy New Year, fellow West Coasters!

  41. Festus

    In all seriousness, I wish all the Glibs hither and yon a happy and productive new year.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Know you are sleeping Festus but wish you all too well in 24!

  42. hayeksplosives

    Big (7+) earthquake in Japan.

    Hope Straff & co are ok!

  43. robodruid

    Happy New Year to all the glibetarians out there.
    All of you are awesome.

  44. Beau Knott

    Good morning and Happy New Year!

  45. PieInTheSky

    Bah. Humbug.

    • Beau Knott

      That, too

    • Ownbestenemy

      Cause most likely local smokies couldn’t get phone records or didn’t want to be bothered you know…getting a warrant and my guess local DHS office was like “that’s easy…we have access to all of it!”

  46. Not Adahn

    Good morning 2024!

    Lily is being particularly adorable this morning. Not quite time to take her to the park yet. It’s extremely dim for this time of day. I hope that means snow.

    • Ownbestenemy

      We has a dusting sorta. Dogs were not too eager to get outside this AM.

  47. The Gunslinger

    Happy New Year to all you reprobates!

    Sitting on the porch listening to a few birds, a couple llamas and a plane flying over. It’s in the 30s right now and starting to get light out.

    I didn’t make it to midnight, but I did go to bed happy šŸ˜

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning and Happy New Year, ‘slinger, OBE, NA, Sean, Beau, Pie, and ‘ bodru!

  48. Fourscore

    ‘Tis the newest year and hope all is well with everyone. Let us bring joy and happiness to those we love, including all the Glibsters.

    • TARDis

      Especially the Glibsters! Happy New Year, everyone.