“Whatever,” Hunter said. “I mean, at this point, who hasn’t had anal in the Senate? Have you seen Robert Reich? He’s the size of a buttplug!”
“Sexy!” Cracky cried, perched on Hunter’s shoulder like a Peruvian parrot.
“Would you put that damn thing away?” Dr. Biden yelled. “This is The Oval Office!”
“Buttplug,” Joe muttered.
“In the night, I transform into a hand, a giant hand,” Karine mumbled from the couch. “Smash ‘em all flat.”
The door to The Oval Office burst open and a hulking figure filled the frame.
“Mr. President,” John said mellifluously, “I have something important I need to discuss with you.”
“Fetterman?” Hunter asked. “Fetterlump?”
“This is inappropriate, “John said, plucking Cracky from his perch and pressing him into Hunter’s hand.
“Hand off, buddy!” Cracky said as Hunter slipped him into his pocket.
“In fact, Mr. Biden,” it is inappropriate for you to be in The Oval Office at all. And I have national security issues to discuss with your father. Please leave.” John loomed over Hunter until he began to walk sullenly out of the room.
“And you,” John said, moving over to Karine. “Wake up, Ms. Jean-Pierre.” He kicked the couch she was sleeping on lightly.
“Go away,” she cried hoarsely.
“Up,” he said, tipping the couch forward and dumping her on the floor. She stood, paused to dig her underwear out of her ass crack, and shuffled off.
“Mr. President,” John said after he crossed to close the Oval Office. “I have discovered a way to solve the Israeli conflict. It is simple, elegant…” He knelt down in front of Joe to look him in his rheumy eyes.
“And best of all,” John continued, “It won’t cost anything.”
“John?” Joe asked. His shaking hand reached out to stroke Fetterman’s goatee. “John? Is that you?”
“Yes, Mr. President, “John said. “After the consumption of Lump, I was able to integrate him fully and heal.”
“John?” Joe asked again, his paralyzed brow trying mightily to furrow. He finally smiled after a long moment. “Where’s that saucy wife of yours?”
“Back in Pennsylvania, where she should have been all along,” John said darkly.
“That’s a shame,” Joe said.
“Yes, well, to my plan,” John said, standing and moving around the desk to sit in a reinforced desk chair. By the time he was settled, Joe was fast asleep.
I have a plan. A cunning plan. Fade to black.
Probably some sort of solution.
Beer is a solution.
But it is more of an ongoing solution.
Not anything terminating, or culminating, or some other word that escapes me right now.
It could be… Final.
So cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a weasel?
*spittake*
In my head, Robert Reich is Kramer’s midget friend from Seinfeld.
https://seinfeld.fandom.com/wiki/Mickey_Abbott
Gold Jerry, pure gold.
LOL
No money shot. So disappointing.
Is anyone else now picturing this Fetterman as Jack Reacher?
Jack Creature.
Just Reacher with bolts in his neck.
I always referred to Cruise’s Reacher a ‘Jack Reach-around’. The wife wasn’t amused when she found out what a reach-around is.
Wait til she finds out what a rusty trumpet is.
Don’t wanna know, I’ll stay in the light, thank you
I thought Biden was thinking he was John McCain there for a bit. But I did have this imagery while old joe was reaching out.
+1. Love that movie.
“John?” Joe asked again, his paralyzed brow trying mightily to furrow. He finally smiled after a long moment. “Where’s that saucy wife of yours?”
“Back in Pennsylvania, where she should have been all along,” John said darkly.
I never noticed she disappeared.
That’s a lot of words to say “money launderer”.
Heh.
Brazilian born, eh? Does she have an OnlyFans?
a Brazilian
How many is that?
/old joke
I’d go with “parasite”.
Did he forget to remove Dr. Biden, or is she a part of the plan?
Dr. Jill seems to be the power behind the throne, here. Finnegan seems to be mostly focused on caring for Joe.
“In the night, I transform into a hand, a giant hand,” Karine mumbled from the couch. “Smash ‘em all flat.”
It sounds like somebody took a tumble off the wagon.
That was my expectation – tripping balls. What a disappointment that she was only dreaming.
“And best of all,” John continued, “It won’t cost anything.”
Why would anybody be interested in that? What can you do with ten per cent of nothing?
Pocket 100% of the savings.
“Back in Pennsylvania, where she should have been all along,” John said darkly.
Channeling great-great-grandaddy Fetterman, Indian Fighter?
SugarFree”s version of events is easier to believe than what we are being sold in the media – That Fetterman emerged from the looney bin as a thoughtful well-spoken statesman.
To be fair, he seems to be coherent now, and is dissenting from some items of The Agenda.
He is possibly among the least worst Senate Ds.
Fetterlump died of another stroke in the loony bin and the Dems replaced him with a double who is now starting to go rogue.
☝️ This.
He died of something and they tattooed up a double.
I’m thinking it’s more of a Dave scenario.
Fetterman’s double has gone rouge.
The scenes in Dave with Kline’s mania and Grodin’s deadpan were priceless.
Maybe in a future episode, Fetterfake talks strategy with one of Joe’s doubles.
Or Bullworth.
How in gawds name have I become a fan of Fetterlump?
He’s clean and articulate?
I said this about Obama to my kids not too long ago. After I got done being pilloried by them, I let them know I was just lifting the phrase from Biden. They didn’t believe me till they looked it up. Teaching moments, that’s what I live for.
“Apology accepted.”
But who did Biden lift it from?
He’s a potato?
But I don’t like lumpy potatoes.
He, as well as every establishment Democrat, is a staunch supporter of Israel?
“Up,” he said, tipping the couch forward and dumping her on the floor. She stood, paused to dig her underwear out of her ass crack, and shuffled off.
A nice bit of physical comedy there.
Coworker: “[Consultant] has root on the machine in question, please send him the installer and instructions”
My reaction (unspoken) – [Consultant] is dumber than a box of rocks, I wouldn’t trust him with root on an Etch-a-sketch. Why did you give him root on a real server?
Bout as good as here.
Coworker: “Hey I went to get the root password from the safe, it wasn’t there”
Me: “Ya you have no need for that password to do your job”
Coworker: “Previous guy you took over for didn’t care”
Me: “Well, bye”
Against my better judgement, I sent the materials to [Consultant]. It’s not my server, so not my problem if they screw it up.
So husband talked to the press about the hospital thing. We will see how it turns out.
Did he do so from his Bed of Pain for extra pathos?
Good luck! At the very least, the hospital should cover your deductible for next year!
That’s what we want, but if they do, they have to cover everyone else’s too and I’m not sure they’ll be able to. Technically, it’s still a “rural” hospital.
Via text message I hope.
Indeed.
As usual a fun lunch time read.
OT – the Recall for the GM trucks I mentioned this AM
https://static.nhtsa.gov/odi/tsbs/2023/MC-10245350-0001.pdf
Nothing disassembling the interior, welding and and some bodywork and paint can’t fix.
Having read thru that, there is no way that panel doesn’t show as being fucked up (warped and paint imperfections) and the repair becoming more visible with age. Even getting the rail and interior pieces back right will probably be easy to see, if you know where to look.
I would think a good body shop should be able to make a good repair.
However, those are few and far between and the job will be done according to GM’s book time and mostly dealer body shops.
So, on that basis I agree.
Did you see the picture of the example weld in the pdf? I could do a better weld, and I can’t weld for shit.
And no one can paint in a body shop as well as a properly applied factory paint job (bare clean metal, charged ionization, actually dipping into the paint for primer and base).
I agree you will never get as durable a paint job in the aftermarket.
You can get better looking paint jobs with lots of labor, but you can’t beat factory for durability.
I’m suggesting that a good shop can make a repair that will last the life of the vehicle. That said I wouldn’t want such repair on a “new” vehicle.
Yeah if I just rolled off the lot yesterday and that came out today I wouldn’t want a repair. Either money back or give me a different vehicle.
I wonder how many will ‘pass’ the visual only to fail down the road and be told it’s a several thousand dollar repair out of warranty.
Not a tech so I never understood the allure of putting all your data on the cloud. Maybe the trend is reversing?
The Big Cloud Exit
https://world.hey.com/dhh/the-big-cloud-exit-faq-20274010
I am a tech and I’ve alwasy thought that the Cloud was a trap designed to create vendor-lock in and give them too much access to your data.
All it does it make it difficult to migrate when they raise their prices. Plus you have no way to be sure it’s not comingling with other clients’ data, or how they might be accessing it – See the O365 breach via one Microsoft employee acount.
We’re still transitioning, and it is a fucking nightmarish joke. Vendors convince leadership that it is good; and the mushrooms in the basement get ignored at best, or fired.
A good friend told the emperor that he had no clothes; he lost his position and retired shortly afterward when they put him in a do-nothing job.
There are some good things that can come of the cloud (dispersing end-user data and reports) but it adds security issues and creates access problems and time lags that are worse than the old main frame days of network issues.
Your data isn’t your data anymore. You can have access to it as long as you keep paying the vig.
The benefit to the companies is that it gets them out of the server farm business, and allows more flexibility with expansion than contracting for rack space in an existing server farm.
I’m in favor of in-house datacenters.
Maximum control over the systems.
Split the difference! Hybrid cloud!! 🙄🙄
*enjoys the sweet hum of the server in my closet*
Locally hosted is superior, albeit much less convenient.
I’ll refer all of you back to Stupidity as a Service.
Stakeholder capitalism
U.S. lawmakers, however, don’t think Hashimoto’s decision to buy U.S. Steel is good for American security. U.S. Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pa.) complained that it was “outrageous that [U.S. Steel] sold themselves to a foreign nation and … company” in a post on X, formerly Twitter. Fellow Sen. J.D. Vance (R-Ohio) also opposes the deal, alleging that “a critical piece of America’s defense industry was auctioned off to foreigners for cash.” Fetterman, Vance, and Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio), who also opposes the deal, all represent battleground states in next year’s U.S. elections.
The United Steelworkers union is also against the deal. The union’s president, David McCall, said in a statement that neither U.S. Steel nor Nippon Steel contacted the union about the deal, which violates an agreement requiring U.S. Steel to notify the union of any changes in control. That adds more political complexity to the deal, as President Joe Biden seeks to shore up support from the U.S. labor movement ahead of the election.
Maybe the people who actually own the company should have first say.
U.S. Steel’s Sale Is Industrial Policy Boomerang
Protectionists paved the way for Nippon’s takeover of U.S. Steel.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-steel-nippon-japan-industrial-policy-tariffs-d325f107?st=akaztjwl4952aie&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
Nice article.
I’m long on Cleveland-Cliff (CLF) stock and was not happy about the prospect of them buying USS. Other shareholders must have felt the same since the stock has traded about 20% higher since the Nippon bid was announced and CLF seems to be content to let Nippon buy them for twice CLFs bid.
As an aside, I’m not sure people realize that U.S. Steel is not the J P Morgan behemoth anymore, and is not even the top steel company in the United States. Nor one of the top steel companies in the world.
Personally, I think if suckers in Japan want to invest in the dying and uncompetitive company … well.. . let them.
Nope. Ohio isn’t a battleground state anymore. Pay attention, we don’t want you to be spending large amounts of money on political ads here anymore.
Heh. For some silly reason, I’m picturing Fettersquatch as Juggernaut.
“Now I’m going to shove the crack guy into the old guy.”
Must be the reference to fun butt stuff.
You can understand why Nippon wanted to get in on the Washington spending action, especially as manufacturing flags in Europe and much of the world. Nippon’s $14.1 billion bid is roughly double what Cleveland-Cliffs offered to pay for U.S. Steel this summer, which underscores the economic value of tariff avoidance.
Hand in glove. Stronger together.
Question on GM recall-
Are those machine welds? I assume they are. Is it some kind of calibration issue, or welder component issue like burned up spot welder contacts?
I could read about it myself, but why would I do that?
Well, bye
In 2022, General Motors gave Buick dealers across the nation a simple choice: invest a significant amount of money to prepare for EVs or opt for a buyout. Over a year later, the brand has reportedly lost nearly half of its dealerships as it prepares to roll out its first electric cars.
Trade journal Automotive News reported that the number of Buick dealers in the United States dropped by about 47% during 2023. At the beginning of the year, the network included 1,958 stores; fast-forward to December and that figure stands at approximately 1,000. More dealers could throw in the towel in the coming weeks, as the publication adds that the buyout program remains open and will continue.
Dollar figures haven’t been released, so we don’t know precisely how much money a dealer who opts out can claim from General Motors or how much money a dealer needs to spend to stick with the brand. However, the latter figure falls somewhere between $300,000 and $400,000, Automotive News learned. Dealers notably need to invest in equipment (such as charging stations) and training.
Buick doesn’t seem fazed by the exodus.
“I’m really pleased with where we are. The network, where we are now, is a good size. It’s with dealers who are focused on the business, who’ve shown that they can recover the volume that the dealers who transitioned away were doing,” company boss Duncan Aldred said.
It would be interesting to see a pins-on-a-map view of the dealers who opted out.
I would not bother to act surprised if Buick went the way of Pontiac, Oldsmobile and Saturn.
A few years back I heard/read/was told that Buick as a badge would have been shut down had it not been finding a niche as a Luxury brand in China at the time.
If GM loses many more marques, will it be reduced to General Motor?
Apropos of nothing, I got up votes for this statement,
“Libertarianism is an idea, it will never be a viable party. People don’t want to be accountable for their actions.”
RCE
*downvotes*
Had to be contrarian.
Here’s my hypothesis: The lump was actually Cracky. Once he left The Body, Fetterman relapsed into being a relatively normal human.
Prove me wrong.
I’d believe that IFF there was evidence that at some point Hunter attacked Fetterman to get at the lump.
Fetterman still has the lump, he just uses a fancy scarf like an aging actress to cover his neck. The lump is in hiding biding his time until he is needed again.
There’s a sagging empty lump flap on the back of his neck like a flaccid Dromedary. That’s dispositive as far as I’m concerned.
It’s possible the lump has left the neck and moved to the lower chambers of the Fetterbeast while leaving behind the fleshy flaccid sack.
Fettersquatch has swollen buboes?
With the amount of Cracky that Hunter has ingested, if your hypothesis is accurate, wouldn’t Hunter have grown one or more lumps of his own?
I found the perfect gift for UnCiv:
https://www.amazon.com/Rechargeable-LED-Flashlight-Gloves-Gifts/dp/B0B18DGDQW
Applause. I missed these the most. *wipes tears of joy/horror/sadness/insanity
I found this on a site dedicated to lefty fart-sniffing technocrats, oddly enough.
https://falsechoices.substack.com/p/brouhaha-at-the-council