If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)
This week’s book:
Discourses and Selected Writings
Disclaimer: I’m not your Supervisor. These are my opinions after reading through these books a few times.
Epictetus was born a slave around 50 ad. His owner was Epaphroditus, a rich freedman who was once a slave of Nero. Though he was a slave Epictetus was sent to study philosophy under Musonius Rufus.
Epictetus was lame and there are some stories it was caused by his master and others that it was caused by disease.
He was a freedman when all philosophers were banished from Rome in 89 by the Emperor Domitian. He then started his school in Greece, and had many students. He did not leave any writings from his lessons, but one of his students, Flavius Arrian, took notes and wrote the Discourses.
Epictetus did not marry, had no children, and lived to be around 80-85. In retirement, he adopted a child that would have been abandoned and raised him with a woman.
He died sometime around AD 135.
He might be my favorite Stoic teacher. I love his bare bones and very straight forward approach.
Following is a paragraph-by-paragraph discussion of one of his lessons. Epictetus’s text appears in bold, my replies are in normal text.
OF ANXIETY
When I see a man in anxiety, I say to myself, What can it be that this fellow wants? For if he did not want something that was outside of his control, how could he still remain in anxiety?
Worrying about things that I have no control over is certain to stress me out. I used to have this problem quit often before I started really practicing Stoicism on a regular basis. I still revert to that mindset when things seem really bad, like when my dog got sick and died. Looking back, I did waste energy lamenting the unfairness and stressing over what was going on with him. I think I handled it well, but it showed me that I am not as prepared for misfortune as I had believed myself to be.
That is why the citharoede when singing all alone shows no anxiety, but does so when he enters the theater, even though he has a very beautiful voice and plays the cithara admirably; for he does not wish merely to sing well, but also to win applause, and that is no longer under his control. Accordingly, where he has skill, there he shows confidence. Set before him any layman that you please, and the musician pays no attention to him; but in a matter of which he has no knowledge, and which he has never studied, there he is in anxiety. What is the meaning of this? Why, he simply does not know what a crowd is, or the applause of a crowd; to be sure, he has learned how to strike the lowest and the highest strings on the cithara, but what the praise of the multitude is, and what function it has in life, that he neither knows nor has studied. 5Hence he must needs tremble and turn pale.
When I was in High School, I was in a band and I was the singer. in our practice sessions, I was really good. Our first few sessions that we let kids come and listen to us, I was horrible because of how nervous I was. It took a lot of practice before I was ready to sing in front of people, but once I mastered that fear, it was awesome to perform.
Now then, I cannot say that the man is not a citharoede, when I see anyone in a state of fear, but I can say something else of him, and, indeed, not one thing only, but a number of things. And first of all, I call him a stranger and say: This man does not know where in the world he is, but though he has been living here so long a time, he is ignorant of the laws of the city and its customs, what he is allowed to do and what he is not allowed to do. Nay more, he has never even called in a lawyer to tell him and explain to him what are the usages conformable with law; yet he does not write a will without knowing how he ought to write it or else calling in an expert, nor does he just casually affix his seal to a bond or give a written guarantee; but without the services of a lawyer he exercises desire and aversion and choice and design and purpose. How do I mean “without the services of a lawyer”? Why, he does not know that he is wishing for things that are not vouchsafed him, and wishing to avoid the inevitable, and he does not know either what is his own or what is another’s. Did he but know, he would never feel hindered, never constrained, would not be anxious. How could he? Is any man in fear about things that are not evil?—No.—What then? Is he in fear about things that are evil, indeed, but that are in his own power to prevent?—Not at all.
When I lose the fact that I can’t control things that are outside of me, it is like being a stranger in a strange land trying to figure out the appropriate way to act. Spending time worrying about those things shows that I don’t have a clear understanding of what is mine and that which is not mine. While dealing with my dog being in pain was bad enough, being mad at fate and constantly wishing he would miraculously get better cost me sleep and made it hard to just be there for him as he was hurting. I did OK at at and would give myself a C+.
10—If, then, things indifferent are neither good nor bad, but all matters of moral purpose are under our control, and no man can either take them away from us, or bring upon us such of them as we do not wish, what room is there left for anxiety? Yet we are anxious about our wretched body, about our trifling estate, about what Caesar will think, but are anxious about none of the things that are within us. We are not anxious about not conceiving a false opinion, are we?—No, for that is under my control.—Or about making a choice contrary to nature?—No, not about this, either.—Then, whenever you see a man looking pale, just as the physician judging from the complexion says, “This mans spleen is affected, and this man’s liver,” so do you also say, “This man’s desire and aversion are affected, he is not getting along well, he is feverish.” For there is nothing else that changes a man’s complexion, or makes him tremble, or his teeth to chatter, or to
“Shift from knee to knee and rest on either foot.”[1]
While it is not a physical ailment, self-induced stress can be detrimental to our state of mind. Being upset makes it harder to focus on the challenge at hand and if it goes unchecked, it can lead to physical issues.
That is why Zeno was not anxious when he was about to meet Antigonus; for over none of the things that Zeno regarded highly did Antigonus have power, and what Antigonus did have power over Zeno cared nothing about. 15But Antigonus was anxious when he was about to meet Zeno, and very naturally so; for he wanted to please him, and that lay outside of his control; yet Zeno did not care about pleasing him, any more than any other artist cares about pleasing one who has no knowledge of his art.
Being able to not care about opinions of others has long been a super power of mine. When I meet new people, if they like me great, if they don’t, that is great also.
Do I care to please you? What do I gain thereby? For do you know the standards according to which man is judged by man? Have you been concerned to know what a good man is, and what an evil man, and how each becomes what he is? Why, then, are you not a good man yourself?—How do you make out, he answers, that I am not a good man?—Why, because no good man grieves or groans, no good man laments, no good man turns pale and trembles, or asks, “How will he receive me? How will he listen to me?” You slave! He will receive you and listen to you as seems best to him. Why, then, are you concerned about things that are not your own?
If I am scared of meeting issues head on because of the possible consequences that I don’t control, what kind of a man am I? This is something I have been good at for a long time. I think part of it is my own character and part of it is the result of 20 years of Marine Corps brainwashing.
Now is it not his own fault if he gives a bad reception to what you have to say?—Of course.—Is it possible for one man to make the mistake and yet another suffer the harm?—No.—Why, then, are you anxious over what is not your own?—That is all very well, but I am anxious over how I shall speak to him.—What, are you not privileged to speak to him as you please?—Yes, but I am afraid that I shall be disconcerted.20—You are not afraid of being disconcerted when you are about to write the name Dio, are you?—No, not at all.—What is the reason? Is it not that you have practiced writing?—Yes, of course.—What then? If you were about to read something, would you not feel the same way about it?—Quite the same.—What is the reason? Why, because every art has an element of strength and confidence inside its own field. Have you, then, not practiced speaking? And what else did you practice in your school?—Syllogisms and arguments involving equivocal premises.—To what end? Was it not to enable you to conduct an argument skillfully? And does not “skillfully” mean seasonably and securely and intelligently, and, more than that, without making mistakes and without embarrassment, and, in addition to all this, with confidence?—Surely.—Well then, if you are on horseback and have ridden out upon the plain against a man who is on foot, are you in anxiety, assuming that you are in practice and the other is not?—Yes, that is all very well, but Caesar has authority to put me to death.—Then tell the truth, wretch, and do not brag, nor claim to be a philosopher, nor fail to recognize your masters; but as long as you let them have this hold on you through your body, follow everyone that is stronger than you are. But Socrates used to practise speaking to some purpose—Socrates, who discoursed as he did to the Tyrants,[2] to his judges, and in the prison. Diogenes had practised speaking—Diogenes, who talked to Alexander as he did, to Philip, to the pirates, to the man who had bought him[† 1] . . . 25[Leave such matters] to those who are seriously interested in them, to the brave; but do you walk away to your own concerns and never depart from them again; go into your corner and sit down, and spin syllogisms and propound them to others:
“In thee the State hath found no leader true.”[3]
One of my early points where I found out I was good at dealing with stressful moments and high ranking officers is when I was a Corporal (E-4) and one of my Marines tried to stab his wife. He told the cops that I had stressed him out so much that he snapped. The Battalion Commander, a Lt. Colonel, called me to his office to explain what was going on.
I had only been a Cpl. for a short time, so I was scared I would lose a stripe or get removed from being a section chief.
This Marine had a habit of losing gear, so I made him bring his gear to the gun park everyday and I would inspect it. There were a few other things I made him do, trying to teach him to be a better Marine.
Before I went to see the Lt. Col., I debated how much I should tell him. In the end I decided that I had nothing to hide, so I told the truth. After I finished I stood there trying not to sweat, and the Lt. Col. looked at me for a few seconds and then said, “Good job Cpl, dismissed.”
That Marine got kicked out for “Failure to Adapt”, the only such case I heard of in my 20 years.
Music this week is from The Dead South.
They have a new album coming out soon and have released a couple excellent new songs.
I have the new one on pre-order, these 2 songs sound like the new one could be their best one yet.
They are currently on tour and are coming to Norfolk on Feb 17th.
I have already seen the twice and they put on an awesome show. I told my wife they were coming and asked if she wanted to go again, I was going to go regardless, she asked me why I asked her that and haven’t bought the tickets yet.
This is off their first real album, but it is one of my favorites from them, although I do have many favorites.
This pork chop is delicious!
/Not stoic
Apparently Stoic lunch break is happening across the Gliberverse.
I’m conducting an interview (It’s someone else’s turn to ask questions at the moment)
I’ve got a few weeks before that ramps up, thankfully.
Need to make these again, it’s been a while:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tVF_tPZH6U
The butcher shop chain is having a sale on pork chops and ribs $4/lb.
“While it is not a physical ailment, self-induced stress can be detrimental to our state of mind. Being upset makes it harder to focus on the challenge at hand and if it goes unchecked, it can lead to physical issues.”
Very true. I am trying to wrap up work and prep for vacation in less than 6 hours. A lot of stuff blew up and I had to find some offshore resources to handle it, since everyone in the states is going on vacation. I remained semi-stoic. I ate a ton of cookies and developed a slouch again. Physical manifestations of stress.
Are you meeting with Ukrainians?
Too soon Sean. 😉
Nope. Perfect.
*Standing ovation*
No such thing.
Indeed.
https://lostmediawiki.com/Gilbert_Gottfried's_9/11_joke_(found_footage_from_Friars_Club_Roast_of_Hugh_Hefner;_2001)
The Aristocrats!
They bring up the clip and the joke in the documentary.
“Do I care to please you? What do I gain thereby?”
This one is challenging for me. I went to a pretty good therapist at one point, and he said I was a “people pleaser”.
It’s not so much that I want to make people happy, but that I want to avoid making them angry.
Yes that’s a better way to put it. Nothing wrong with being helpful, or going above and beyond, but I have done some irrational things just to keep the peace. It’s something I’m always working on.
That is not a bad thing, it helps at work to add value and move the needle. I see his quote as worrying that everyone likes you. I am just myself, and do not adjust around different groups. Some people like me, other people think I am not worthy of their attention. This is fine.
Recent conversation:
Her – “I think he hates you.”
Me – “He will probably get over it. I know I will.”
You cant be liked by everyone.
I am.
What is the secret to your charm? Your oppositional personality traits?
My fan base seems motivated by my general curmudgeonry and all around cynicism.
I’m not sure, It’s true I’m one hell of a great guy, and my understated sense of humor seems to be universally appreciated, but if I had to pin it down to one characteristic I’d probably go with my humility.
One hell of a man
Thank God I’m not. There are far too many people I’d be ashamed if they liked me.
Not everyone.
AlexinCT – thanks for the feedback on my laptop question in dedthread – but I was really just asking specifically with a refurbished machine if there was anything else I had to check for or be aware of.
Stress. I’ve had quite a burden the last 4 years. It’s settled down mostly all the way. What I am not dealing well with right now is the LACK of stress, the constant sickening of adrenaline, fight-or-flight. I asked in a book I wrote once, concerning a hurt my character had carried for years and then unexpectedly got ripped away, if one could grieve a hurt. (That book dealt with grief. A lot of it.)
So without that stress, issues I’ve buried for years are coming to the fore. Yes, I’m in therapy. Yes, it’s helping. What is helping is that my therapist brings fresh new eyes to my situations, and lets me know it really isn’t that bad and that EVERYONE has gone through it, whatever IT is.
I’m dealing with the absence of stress, and at the same time, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
***
Brag moment. XY was recently made kitchen manager at Chipotle, effective 18th birthday (yesterday). (The boy moves fast.) He says the teenagers don’t respect him as manager. Of course they don’t. They’ve been there longer and he only JUST turned 18. So one of them asked him if he could go home early. XY said, “If you ask me to go home early, knowing I can do that, then you acknowledge I’m your manager. You can’t have it both ways.” Kid went home. XY staked his claim on the kitchen at Chipotle.
I would NEVER have thought of that. But this is why I’m not a manager of people. Or a teacher. Or a leader of any kind.
So fucking clever.
Hope the therapy continues to work for you.
I never thought losing stress would be stressful because you are expecting something to hit you.
That’s cool about the kid.
That is a great response.
I used to tell my wife she was an adrenaline junky. If she wasn’t stressed out, she would find something new to stress about.
Perpetual survival mode.
Ron – thanks! I’m both trying to be stoic and laughing out loud that only NY do the Jews get to disqualify Santa because of his views on the Israel and Palestinian war.
He Was Set to Play Santa. His Views on the Middle East Got in the Way.
Everytime I think about Jews and Christmas, I remember 2 things:
Lewis Black talking about getting a Dridl and then he would go to his Christian friends’ houses because, “Hannaka sucks!”
The hilarious intro of The Hebrew Hammer.
Oh my – I’d never heard of or seen this.
I’m assuming you give it a thumbs up?
Which?
The Hebrew Hammer
You should definitely watch the Hebrew Hammer! I think it’s still free on FreeVee (which is also on Prime).
I am getting good practice on my stoicism by having my fellow employees send emails marked for internal use only to external partners. 🙂
So it was you guys that leaked Boston’s NO WHITE PEOPLE party?
Bitter partisans
Ten Oregon Republican senators may face the end of their legislative careers for a six-week legislative walkout aimed at thwarting what they see as a radical Democratic agenda on guns, abortion and transgender health care.
The lawmakers are banned from running for reelection for accumulating at least 10 unexcused absences during this year’s legislative session.
Their imminent banishment — pending the outcome of a pair of legal battles, with key court hearings this week — is due to a 2022 constitutional referendum overwhelmingly backed by voters.
It’s also arguably the most glaring example yet of how Washington’s toxic partisan culture is increasingly infecting statehouses across the country.
The renegade Republicans express few regrets.
“We were trying to defend the Constitution and Oregon law against those that essentially said, ‘We have the votes, we can do whatever we want,’” said Senate Republican Leader Tim Knopp, in an interview. “We thought it was a principle worth defending, even if it meant that we couldn’t run for reelection.”
Democrats and other supporters of the referendum argue the electoral death sentence for the GOP senators is necessary to combat what’s become a routine tactic — with eight walkouts in the past five years — by the minority party to sabotage the legislative process. Democrats currently control 17 of 30 seats in the Oregon Senate.
Elections have consequences. The urban Democrats have a mandate to cram whatever they like down the throats f those hicks out east.
Time to erase a few state lines and redraw them in new locations.
We can have one state, Urbania, with exclaves all over the country, and 50 other states with small holes where the rot of Urbania is contained.
I have no issue with the Clinton Archipelago into geographically coherent states. A couple on the east coast, a couple on the west coast, a few on the interior. It’s manageable.
I can’t refuse them their house seats, but I’m sure going to take away their Senators.
I wrote a post with a plan that when a city reached a certain size, it was kicked out of the US `and forced to form its own independent government.
That sounds like a terrible idea.
Rather than independence, reduce them to territories.
What’s terrible about it? They get to govern themselves as they’d like, and would have to interact with the hicks on the basis of trade rather than violence.
I see you have never had a flea infestation. For every parasite you kill two take it’s place, and they are never going to walk away voluntarily.
It’s gonna come to blows.
No, I’ve never had a flea infestation.
Each one you kill is 50,000 eggs that never get laid.
Cities have very little industry, very little utility supply, and while they do have a LOT of poorly trained infantry they have very little in the way of artillery.
It would also NOT surprise me if, say, NYCers would gladly vote to be independent from flyover country because they believe their own propaganda about being the smartest, toughest people in the world. Plus they’re so much richer than everyone else!
That wouldn’t surprise me either. However, in no time at all they would be screaming and slinging shit, demanding to be given what they want; food, water, lights etc. Oh, and money. Remember CHAZ? They couldn’t even grow a single tomato plant. Pathetic.
Same for the other urban enclaves.
“This looks like a good place to put up a wall!”
Snake Plissken ain’t coming to save you.
I try to take a more principled stance instead of rooting for one party or the other (like most of us here). These days I’m taking comfort in that. There’s fighting about what speech is allowed, but if we didn’t censor anyone, we wouldn’t have these fights. And likewise here, if people didn’t inject politics into every tiny corner of people’s lives, we wouldn’t see articles like this.
Ignore that Oregon Democrats have used walkouts in the past when they were in the minority.
“Democrats currently control 17 of 30 seats in the Oregon Senate.”
Wow, a whole 57% control, sounds like a mandate.
Not just east. It’s southern Oregon, much of the coast, and the conservative chunks of the Willamette Valley and Portland metro area. The state isn’t as red as our ruling despots would like. Hence the need to pass that walkout law (which was a poorly crafted amateur effort that a plain reading gives that it doesn’t apply because the drafters were idiots).
“The lawmakers are banned from running for reelection for accumulating at least 10 unexcused absences”
Muh Democracy in action.
So, are they banned for life? Or just for the next election.
The 43-day legislative walkout was the longest in state history. The ensuing banishment of 10 GOP senators is the latest and most extreme evidence that the poisonous, partisan atmosphere long associated with Capitol Hill is becoming increasingly common in state capitals across the country. Like their counterparts in Congress, state lawmakers are increasingly beholden to the most hard-line elements of their parties, fearful of sparking a primary challenge if they buck party orthodoxy.
Monkey see, monkey do. That’s all there is to it.
And likewise here, if people didn’t inject politics into every tiny corner of people’s lives, we wouldn’t see articles like this.
Exactly. It’s not just the Democrats trying to expand the scope and power of the government into every aspect of life.
run, hide, fight
fuck the wounded, save yourself
Run, fight, hide.
I’ve told my kids hiding only delays the inevitable and is the least desirable course of action.
Yes, but it allows you to catch your breath before fighting.
Costanza – Fire!
Run, hide, fight is how you ambush someone.
It all depends on what direction you run. After I pointed this out at work, they changed the training to “run away, hide, fight”.
You were in my mind as the video was playing.
Who the fuck shows up looking for a job with little to no experience and won’t work for less than $24/hr?
An unemployed dork. That’s who.
And PS, your last employer laid your ass off for a reason…
And the other applicant…don’t bathe in your cologne.
Hunter Biden.
Huh. Dennis Villeneuve is going to make a movie version of Neuromancer.
*blink*
*blink*
He… he may be able to pull it off.
/waits for Dune 2
Never mind, looks like fake news.
I found something on it, but it looks to be going to Apple+.
I posted this last night, but few people were around.
Spectalar Rant from Chato
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03djFoG6JsQ
Assemble the internet outrage mob. Melania Trump is set to welcome a group of freshly sworn citizens to America, at the National Archives.
I will spare you from the link, but some guy over at Politico is having a mental breakdown over it.
U.S. terrorist watchlist grows to 2 million people — nearly doubling in 6 years
The U.S. government’s terrorist watchlist has nearly doubled in size in just six years, a CBS Reports investigation has found.
An extensive review of court records, government documents and interviews with more than a dozen current and former intelligence community leaders revealed that the consolidated database of individuals has not only been quietly expanding in number but also in who it targets.
I didn’t think we were big enough to make a difference.
I find that hard to believe. There have to be way more than 2 million people who don’t vote Democrat.
I expect they maintain separate list for terrorists, domestic terrorists, and registered republicans.
That way they can prioritize their efforts against registered republicans.
Bank error in your favor; collect 6 billion dollars
There are two pots of money for weapons and security assistance set up specifically for the war. One is the Presidential Drawdown Authority, or PDA, under which the U.S. provides weapons already in its stockpile. The other is the Ukraine Security Assistance Initiative, which funds long-term weapons contracts.
Money for USAI has all been spent. That pot is empty.
And money for the PDA also appeared to be gone. But then the Pentagon determined that it had overstated the value of the weapons it had already sent Ukraine, overcharging the Ukraine weapons account by $6.2 billion. That effectively left Ukraine with a store credit that is slowly being whittled down. It now stands at around $4.4 billion.
——-
In theory, the Pentagon would have enough equipment to offer these smaller packages for months. But there’s a caveat: While the credit exists, there may not be enough stock on the Pentagon shelves. So some weapons may be unavailable.
Congressional funding to buy weapons to replace the ones the U.S. sends to Ukraine is now down to about $1 billion. That dwindling money means the military services are worried they won’t be able to buy all the weapons they need to ensure the U.S. military is ready to defend the American homeland.
Defend America’s homeland? From who? Everybody is terrified of us.
Wolverines!
Sure wish someone would make a $6 billion mistake in my favor. 🙁
Monopoly (New Millennium Edition) ™