Sunday Morning Deep In Progland Links

by | Dec 17, 2023 | Daily Links | 122 comments

So Tomb Raider took me to a birthday party last night. It was for one of her former co-workers, and the place was packed. Everyone there, other than me, was a public school teacher and proud union member. The conversations going on were stultifying. I spent my first hour there just smiling, nodding, drinking cheap wine, and telling myself that she must feel the same way when dropped into a room full of MY friends. Relief finally came, however- I spotted a TV in an adjacent room, and there was a tall and seemingly well-conditioned middle-aged black guy watching the Steelers game. AHA! I sat down with him and actually started enjoying myself. He was personable and very knowledgeable. Turns out, of course, that he’s not a teacher, but married to one and he was a former college player and currently works for the Cowboys. And not a Prog. We had a great time rooting for Pittsburgh to lose badly. Which they did.

Unlike yesterday, today is not teeming with prominent birthdays, but I do have to note a reluctant fellow; a guy who figured out my birthday; a guy who wasn’t the worst news columnist; the true star of Leave It To Beaver; winner of the Best Eyebrows in Canada award; along with Gabby Hayes, one of our local heroes; and the hottest woman ever to wear adhesive tape.

Off to the Links.

 

“We did something really stupid that fucked up our brand.” so their logical response is, “Hold my beer.”

 

And truly, when it rains, it pours.

 

Kids say the darndest things.

 

Government schools delenda est.

 

Experts are BAFFLED.

 

Captain Obvious.

 

The Old Man’s favorite music is the stuff made when a bunch of talented people sit around and have themselves a lot of fun doing an informal performance. This one was delightful.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

122 Comments

  1. PieInTheSky

    a tall and seemingly well-conditioned middle-aged black guy – why id the color relevant?

  2. PieInTheSky

    a guy who figured out my birthday;

    the usual question appplies

  3. PieInTheSky

    and the hottest woman ever to wear adhesive tape. – I’ve had better

  4. Gender Traitor

    “We did something really stupid that fucked up our brand.” so their logical response is, “Hold my beer.”

    “But that one commercial with Peyton and Emmitt should make everyone forget all about that…unpleasantness!” 🙄

  5. Sean

    “improving economic data”

    Where?

    AFAIK, the trendline has not reversed course.

    • SDF-7

      The rate of inflation has either stabilized or slightly improved (i.e. not increasing quite so fast). That’s about the most I can give this group of fuck-ups.

    • The Gunslinger

      To be fair, the DJIA YTD return for 2023 is +12.5%. S&P 500 is around +23% YTD. And I did fill up my gas tank at $2.99/gallon yesterday.

      • LCDR_Fish

        2.78 this morning with my sheetz discount.

  6. PieInTheSky

    Sunny Sweeney – related to Sydney Sweeney?

    • SDF-7

      Better than Julia Sweeney, I suppose.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I always had a thing for (younger) Julia Sweeney.

      • SDF-7

        Dude… we always can assume the “younger” part. I’m just surprised she started her career in middle school for you to hear of her.

    • PieInTheSky

      In 1990, Lech Wałęsa’s election slogan was „second Japan in Poland”. At that time, an average Japanese was able to buy 3x as much stuff as an average Pole. Today, there’s virtually no difference. 33 years later, Wałęsa’s promise is Poland’s reality.

      https://twitter.com/YIMBYPoland/status/1735941692396798440

  7. SDF-7

    Government schools delenda est.

    I suppose she balances out that idiot asshole from Warner Robbins.

  8. PieInTheSky

    where is everybody?

    • juris imprudent

      I was cooking, then eating, breakfast. Bacon and scrambled eggs (as my father taught me, and I taught my son), and coffee.

      • Ted S.

        Scrambled eggs with ham and cheese for me.

        And I did a load of laundry.

      • SDF-7

        Thanks for the reminder I really should be more proactive pushing my son to learn some more basics. He’s weaponized intentional incompetence even though he professes to want to learn.

      • Gender Traitor

        Practicing for when he’s married?

      • juris imprudent

        I have wooed women with my cooking – particularly breakfast.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Hung over. We got home last night and polished off a bottle of Cote-Rotie.

      • Fourscore

        Thanks for taking one for the team, OM. Lucky you found another reject that you could interface with.

        Like going to a VN family union and finding another odd couple.

    • SDF-7

      Mostly lurking — I just don’t have much meaningful to say in response to the links… and I’m trying to gear myself up to spend the day fighting fucking Pytest mock shit because I should really have some fucking unit tests ready Monday morning — but getting the fucking mock of the system drive configuration such that I can fake delete fake partitions was a hell of a lot harder than I expected Friday because everything is buried balls deep in 4 different python3 classes and the obvious “mock this method of this class using this function as side_effect” didn’t do shit.

      So in case you couldn’t tell — I really really want to blow it off, that’s preoccupying me and making me damned cranky.

      You really want me to vent here more? I’m trying to spare you folks….

      • Homple

        “Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.”
        …Edsger Dijkstra

      • Beau Knott

        Dijkstra’s an idiot and a crank. Worse, OOP originated in Scandinavia with Simula.
        Python’s OO is a sick sad joke. Every bit as bad as C++. Or, gag me, Java.
        Smalltalk forever! (Alan Kay had some pithy comments on Dijkstra over the tears.

      • Beau Knott

        Sigh. *Over the years.)

      • slumbrew

        Ruby’s OO system is interesting and somewhat close to Smalltalk, as I understand it.

        Everything is an object and the dot notation is just syntactic sugar for message passing.

        irb(main):010:0> 1
        => 1
        irb(main):011:0> 1.class
        => Integer
        irb(main):012:0> 1.to_f
        => 1.0
        irb(main):013:0> 1.send(:to_f)
        => 1.0

      • Beau Knott

        Ruby is pretty close, and tolerable at worst. But I missed the integrated development environment Smalltalk provides.
        [pedantically, the dot notation is to separate objects & messages. Smalltalk’s white space plus only 3 ‘shapes’ of message, with defined precedence, plus cascading, since every message returns an object, strikes me as more elegant. YMMV]

      • rhywun

        Smalltalk was too elegant to catch on.

        /also a fan

        But yeah, I knew there was a reason I like Ruby over Python.

      • juris imprudent

        Smalltalk

        Oh I thought we were talking about actual programming to get shit done, not just toy time.

      • Beau Knott

        Hah. There are large mission critical business systems written in Smalltalk. I dev’d on 2, managed one. All, to the best of my knowledge, are still at work.
        Countless smaller innovative systems have been going for years. Symbolic Sound’s Kyma represents the pinnacle of software music and sound synthesis systems.
        Etc.

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, there is deployed stuff written in APL as well.

        The heritage of Smalltalk was a tool for education. Everyone has a favorite language just like they have a favorite pizza.

      • Beau Knott

        And Dijkstra remains an idiot and a crank.

      • juris imprudent

        I worked for a company that produced an OO 4GL (proprietary product obviously) and our chief scientist wrote a paper explaining how our product solved a number of issues that tend to plague OO tools/development. I proof-read it for him, and I had to tell him it would never get published. Academic papers are about interesting problems, not solutions. Sadly, this was another time I was right when I would’ve preferred to be wrong.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Unit tests are so much fun. Our recently sunsetted python2 app was lousy with thousands of the beasties using mock for various things. Shiny new system ain’t got any unit tests yet but now that it is up and runnng, it’s time to get cracking on that. We’ve been told to use python dbt for the database bits even though nobody knows WTF that is. I am too old for this shit.

      • slumbrew

        Shiny new system ain’t got any unit tests yet but now that it is up and runnng, it’s time to get cracking on that.

        Isn’t that backwards? Or do the cool kids not do Test-Driven Development anymore?

      • Ghostpatzer

        Filed under “Unreasonable deadlines must be met”

      • rhywun

        Nobody in the real world does that.

  9. PieInTheSky

    Address: 959 N Washington Street, Auburn, ME 04210
    Price: $329,000
    Specs: 3 Bedrooms, 1 Bathrooms, 1,264 sqft

    3-4 bedroom log home, perfectly nestled on almost 4 acres, boasting an impressive 185 feet of riverfront along the Little Androscoggin River. The home is strategically set back from the road, ensuring you enjoy the peace and quiet you deserve. The living room has oversized windows boasting water views, providing a constant connection to the natural world. Imagine sipping your morning coffee while watching the river meander by from your cozy living room. For those who cherish outdoor living, a welcoming back porch beckons, inviting you to savor tranquil moments while basking in the soothing sights and sounds of the river. As evening falls, gather around the fire pit nestled by the water’s edge to create cherished memories with friends and family. The property features an open lot that awaits your green thumb’s touch, offering endless potential for gardening and landscaping enthusiasts. Additionally, the garage is a haven for automotive enthusiasts, complete with a pit for working on cars, providing both practicality and pleasure. RV owners will delight in the generously sized attached carport, ensuring your recreational vehicle has a secure and convenient home. Above the garage, a versatile in-law apartment awaits, ready to accommodate guests or provide additional income opportunities. Don’t miss out! Seller willing to negotiate paying points to reduce interest rate for buyer. Fidium Fiber and Spectrum installed on property

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l54gHm_dVTo

    • R.J.

      That is far too small for 3 bedrooms.

      • juris imprudent

        That was about the size of my former home in San Diego (now valued by Zillow at around $1M – I sold it for half that).

      • R.J.

        I need to find some of those .5 to 1 acre land sale ads in Texas. $120,000 usually, with utilities, next to a lake. Sometimes they even throw in a build-it-yourself home package.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Log home. Probably a project house – but yeah- too small with just 1 BA.

  10. juris imprudent

    According to the Montgomery County School District, they ask employees to abstain from including political statements in their email signatures. Haggan’s lawyer, Zanah Ghalawanji, said the issue they have with the school’s actions is because they are not applying the same standards to everyone.

    “We had other teachers who were including political slogans in their email signatures at school, from Black Lives Matter to slogans revolving around the LGBTQ movement and Hajur was the only one who was disciplined for her email signature,” she said.

    Something about a camel’s nose?

    • R C Dean

      Interesting range of opinion reflected in the slogans.

      • Sensei

        Country and Western!

    • rhywun

      Here’s a crazy idea… implement a standard sig and enforce it. Nah, that’s too crazy.

      There is a gal I work with who advertises her children’s book in her sig. And it goes on and on. And she attaches it to every single email.

      Sigs are for the outside world. Which means I almost never use one.

      • Gender Traitor

        … implement a standard sig and enforce it.

        Inorite?? My employer does that, but then again we’re a business. Still, even in a public school district, you know at some point a bunch of administrators just HAD to go off on a weekend retreat and come up with a mission statement, right?

  11. juris imprudent

    Our favorite asshole in Congress.

    Now, Swalwell was standing in front of the same building aiding and abetting both a potential crime and the obstruction of congressional proceedings.

    Hunter was not just committing contempt of Congress; he was parading his contempt with Swalwell as the drum major.

    What followed him was contempt on steroids. All Hunter had to do was walk into the building behind him to appear in the deposition and plead the 5th Amendment to refuse to testify, as others have done. The only option he did not have was to refuse to appear.

    • SDF-7

      Accountability is for the hoi polloi….

    • The Gunslinger

      “The only option he did not have was to refuse to appear.”

      Ummm… that appears to be the precise option chosen.

      • juris imprudent

        The man must think he is the Atty-General.

    • Ted S.

      I thought Aidan Maese-Czeropski was our favorite asshole in Congress.

      • SDF-7

        Course not — that’s just our favorite diet supplement (love that it got “community noted” these days… I look forward to clips from Blazing Saddles getting treatises on the actual racial dynamics of the Old West next…)

      • R C Dean

        As far as I know, the identity of the guy who boffed him and filmed it is still being protected.

        I wonder why?

      • slumbrew

        I was wondering about that – who was the pitcher? Just some ordinary civilian? Is there such a thing in the DC area?

      • Gender Traitor

        A professional?

    • Gustave Lytton

      So the Chinese spy fucker is hanging out with the recipient of Chinese billions? Where’s my shocked face at?

  12. juris imprudent

    I’m not sure where to file this, under hysteria or hypochondria.

    The new study comparing the viruses that cause COVID-19 and the flu also revealed that in the 18 months after infection, patients hospitalized for either COVID-19 or seasonal influenza faced an increased risk of death, hospital readmission, and health problems in many organ systems. Further, the time of highest risk was 30 days or later after initial infection.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Yes.

    • Urthona

      I’d file it under: a really predictable correlation.

  13. R.J.

    Who won the sweater contest last night?

    • Ted S.

      Lana Turner?

      • SDF-7

        “Q perks up…”

      • R.J.

        My entire family wussed out at 7:00 PM, and wouldn’t even let me sit there in the dark hotel room with my ipad. It was balls. So I missed the contest.

    • hayeksplosives

      His eminence Pope Jimbo.

  14. The Gunslinger

    Do you want to know how bad it’s gotten for the Pistons? Not only did they get blown out by 32 points again.

    “With three minutes to go until halftime, Thanasis Antetokounmpo — Milwaukee’s human victory cigar — checked in.”

    • juris imprudent

      The Bucks are going with nepotism as a player development strategy?

      • The Gunslinger

        The lesser Antetokoumpo has been on the Bucks’ roster for a few years. I’m not sure he’s ever checked in during the first half of an NBA game before.

    • Grumbletarian

      Damn, 23 consecutive losses for the Pissed-Ons and counting.

      • juris imprudent

        I guess the only question now is can they match or exceed the longest winning streak.

  15. Sean

    I played https://squaredle.com/xp 12/17:
    *19/19 words (+6 bonus words)
    đź“– In the top 7% by bonus words

    I played https://squaredle.com 12/17:
    81/81 words (+13 bonus words)
    ⏱️ In the top 37% by speed
    🔥 Solve streak: 84

    • SDF-7

      I played https://squaredle.com/xp 12/17:
      *19/19 words (+2 bonus words)
      🎯 Perfect accuracy

      Fuck their list — fenster (and a few others I don’t remember just now) should damned well have been a bonus word.. screwed my accuracy terribly).

      I played https://squaredle.com 12/17:
      *81/81 words (+9 bonus words)
      🎯 In the top 13% by accuracy
      🔥 Solve streak: 147

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, TREIF wasn’t in there either.

    • Ted S.

      I played https://squaredle.com 12/17:
      81/81 words (+33 bonus words)
      đź“– In the top 3% by bonus words

      • Sean

        *revisits puzzle*

        I’ll see your 33 and raise you 2.

        I played https://squaredle.com 12/17:
        81/81 words (+35 bonus words)
        đź“– In the top 3% by bonus words
        🔥 Solve streak: 84

        That’s all the effort I can be bothered with.

  16. prolefeed

    My visit into Deep Prog-landia last night was at theatre showcasing six short plays by local playwrights. A room full of theater progs, perhaps the third worst kind.

    Three were hilarious, one was ordinary levels of bad with one redeeming rant in the middle, and the last one was just fucking awful, written and “acted” in by a woman with pink dyed hair and eyebrows and, I assumed, all the rest of her hair too. A rambling incoherent rant by several “actors” trying to compensate for their utter lack of talent by loudness.

    It was like an unfunny Portlandia parody of Stuff Progs Appear to Like. Tied with another local play we watched years ago called Oral Dad, which wasn’t about blowjobs.

    People applauded at the end, apparently because they actually liked that hot loud screeching mess. I was ironically applauding the best part of that play – the part where they fucking finally ended it.

    This is my review of Bud Light, 0.0/5.

    /Mexican Sharpshooter

    • slumbrew

      at theatre showcasing six short plays by local playwrights

      Why do you hate yourself?

      • juris imprudent

        I’m betting this was to make the wife happy.

      • Tres Cool

        Yes.
        Ex Mrs Cool has her MFA (that I paid for- not that Im bitter) in “theater education”. Ive been exposed to more shitty local theater than any person should have had to endure.
        But at the time my attendance seemed directly correlated to how often I was getting laid. So why not keep up that charade?

        Once, while viewing a performance of The Speed of Darkness, a member of the audience had a medical emergency. So for once I actually got to hear someone yell “Is there a doctor in the house?”

      • prolefeed

        My evil plan to get laid by taking Mrs. Prole to local theatre worked great!

      • juris imprudent

        So I was wrong – it wasn’t to make her happy after all.

      • R C Dean

        It’s possible they were both happy, I suppose.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Could be a masochist/sadist thing.

  17. prolefeed

    I first read the last link’s assertion that Biden could turn things around “by improving economic data” to mean he’d have government statisticians lie harder by falsifying economic “data”, that whole “the rubes didn’t vote for us because we didn’t explain it good enough to the Deplorables”.

  18. Ghostpatzer

    Mornin’, Old Man and the rest of you reprobates.

    We had a great time rooting for Pittsburgh to lose badly.

    Oh, yeah. My cousin is married to a prominent Yintzer whose letter of recommendation to Carnegie Mellon cancelled out the youngest Patzer’s demographic shortcomings and got him accepted there on merit. She makes sure to send me pointed messages after a Stiller triumph. I have been known to send her a snarky text or two when they fail.

  19. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Thanks for the participation in last night’s Christmas attire contest! It was a close vote between about 6 getups, with Jimbo coming away with the Bezos bucks. Congrats!

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      (and sloper’s was neither a llama or a goat – it was a West Highland Terrier)

      • R.J.

        Hahahahhahahha!

        If I had attended I think I would have guessed Sloper’s.
        Congrats Jimbo!

  20. The Late P Brooks

    I first read the last link’s assertion that Biden could turn things around “by improving economic data” to mean he’d have government statisticians lie harder by falsifying economic “data”, that whole “the rubes didn’t vote for us because we didn’t explain it good enough to the Deplorables”.

    Just keep juicing the GDP via government spending. Paying the bill will be somebody else’s problem.

    • Homple

      Made the New York Times, no less. Authorization to play Santa Claus is a bigger deal that I thought.

      • Ted S.

        Well, it *is* Lawn Guyland, so part of the metro area that the Times still considers its remit.

    • Urthona

      I mean Santa was a Jew originally. Says so right in the bible.

      • creech

        What about Schwartz Piet?

      • Tres Cool

        After the civil war, how would you like to have been the guy that had to tell Santa that he had to use elves from now on?

        /shows myself out

      • Urthona

        oh my

      • Tres Cool

        “My Clause is a Jewish carpenter!”

  21. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Short ribs and cheesy polenta for dinner. Probably should get started on that.

  22. Tres Cool

    OBE? If you’re watching I’ll be in CVG in a couple of hours to get my ass to Wyoming.
    Come say hi.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Toxic rhetoric crosses the pond

    Rishi Sunak has been accused of adopting the “toxic” rhetoric of his former home secretary Suella Braverman, after he warned that migration would “overwhelm” European countries without firm action.

    In remarks that will further inflame the Tory row over migration that has been raging for weeks, the prime minister said that “enemies” were “deliberately driving people to our shores to try to destabilise our society”.

    Sunak made the comments at a festival in Rome organised by the far-right Brothers of Italy party, led by the Italian premier Giorgia Meloni. He said that both he and Meloni, with whom he has been forging a close relationship over hardline migration policies, were taking inspiration from Margaret Thatcher’s steadfast radicalism in their quest to do “whatever it takes” to “stop the boats”.

    ——-

    The prime minister also said changes to postwar asylum rules could be required to resolve the issue. “Because if we don’t fix this problem now, the boats will keep coming and more lives will be lost at sea,” he said. The comments will alarm moderate Tories already concerned at the hard line Sunak has adopted over migrants crossing the Channel.

    Crazy far right racists are everywhere.

    • juris imprudent

      Yeah, they’re even trying that shit in Ireland, which has never had any kind of far-right and not even much kinda-sorta-right.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Sunak and Meloni, who described his presence at the festival as “a gift”, shared a hug as they stepped off the stage to rapturous applause. The Atreju festival began as a platform for debate among the youth wing of National Alliance, a neo-fascist party formed by the lingering supporters of Benito Mussolini after the second world war, before evolving to include politicians of all colours who mostly attend to nurture their own profile.

    Elon Musk was among the other star guests this year, as was Edi Rama, the Albanian prime minister who is working with Italy on a migrant pact regarded as having been partly inspired by the UK government’s long-running attempts to deport asylum seekers to Rwanda. Other notable attendees included Santiago Abascal, the leader of Spain’s rightwing Vox party.

    The Castel Sant’Angelo gardens were transformed into a winter wonderland as part of the festival, with guests able to partake in ice-skating, sip mulled wine or admire a huge Christmas tree in the middle of a square named “Italian pride” in between debates about immigration, the declining birth rate and Italian cuisine.

    It’s virtually a reenactment of the Nuremberg Rally.

  25. R.J.

    I just determined there is a genetic component to being able to spin a top. The family womenfolk cannot spin a basic Put and Take or Dreidel.

  26. robc

    Speaking of the birthday girl, I stand behind my contention that Leeloo Dallas Multipass is the hottest woman in sci-fi.

    • juris imprudent

      Over Inara Serra? De gustibus and all that.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Suppression

    Why so much attention to universities right now? I would suggest that those who want to preserve US support for Israel view today’s college students as a looming threat. Surveys have shown that young Americans are far more critical of Israel than are older Americans. Gen Z students, coming of age in an era of mass action on Black Lives Matter, climate change and gun safety, are rallying broad coalitions in support of Palestinian freedom.

    This generational divide reflects a tidal shift in American politics and the uproar since last week’s hearing shows the lengths some are going to shut that down. This must not stand.

    ——-

    Backlash against pro-Palestinian voices also undermines the vital role of academic institutions as places where students engage with each other, wrestle with complicated questions and learn how to act on their principles in a fraught world.

    If I thought any of that stuff was actually happening, I might be more sympathetic.

    I really like the gun safety and climate action boilerplate. Emotional screeching about scary guns and boiling seas lends an air of subtle nuanced understanding and credibility to your thoughtful takes on the Middle East.

    • juris imprudent

      The modern university teaches much like the medieval university – faith matters, reality does not.

    • rhywun

      This generational divide reflects a tidal shift in American politics a dynamic that has existed forever: kids are easily susceptible to propaganda

      FTFY

    • R C Dean

      “broad coalitions in support of Palestinian freedom”

      Funny, I thought they were supporting Hamas.

  28. juris imprudent

    Not that this is news to us, but it is still a well written piece.

    In earlier posts, I’ve suggested that our establishment have adopted a sinister outcome-oriented understanding of “democracy.” That is, they regard “democracy” to be whatever procedures are necessary to yield the political outcomes they desire. Ostensibly democratic processes that yield undesirable outcomes are therefore anti-democratic. While I still think this is essentially correct, I’ve not done full justice to the deep absurdity of this phenomenon, and I think there’s much more to say here.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Food safety

    Quaker Oats on Friday recalled several of its granola products, including granola bars and cereals, saying the foods could be contaminated with salmonella.

    Salmonella infections can cause fever, diarrhea, nausea, vomiting and stomach pain, according to the Food and Drug Administration. In rare cases, the bacterial disease can be fatal.

    Quaker, which is owned by PepsiCo, said in a news release that it has not received any reports of salmonella infections related to the recalled granola products. The full list of recalled foods includes granola oats cereals and Quaker Chewy Bars, which are also sold in PepsiCo’s snack mixes.

    It’s weird, but I, being an ignoramus, thought three years of hysterical germ phobia and paranoia might have encouraged better practices in food processing.

    Haha, silly me.