Wednesday Afternoon SugarLinks – Obscurities

by | Dec 13, 2023 | Daily Links | 205 comments

This is why we keep the A-10 Warthog in service. Use it.


 


 

Southwest Airlines is praised for ‘customers of size’ policy that allows overweight flyers to purchase one seat and get another complimentary

Plus-size TikTokkers are praising Southwest Airlines for its “customer of size” policy, which allows overweight passengers to request a complimentary seat and forces the flight staff to accommodate larger flyers — even if that means kicking others with tickets off of the flight.

“If you’re fat, you know the anxiety of flying and this alleviates it a lot,” Caroline, a travel influencer who said she is a size 20, told her nearly 200,000 followers in a video posted at the end of October.

“I had a very comfortable flight just feeling like I was allowed to take up the space I needed.”

Under the Texas-based airline’s policy, customers whose bodies “encroach” past the armrest are entitled to an extra seat at no additional cost.

It says that passengers “have the option of purchasing just one seat and then discussing your seating needs with the Customer Service Agent at the departure gate.

“If it’s determined that a second (or third) seat is needed you’ll be accommodated with a complimentary additional seat,” the policy states.

Or third seat. OR THIRD SEAT. OR THIRD SEAT.


 

 

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

205 Comments

  1. Common Tater

    Can they drop napalm?

    • Drake

      Probably do less damage to the freeway itself than 30mm armor penetrators.

      Easiest way to solve the problem – send all the cops home and let the drivers handle it. The stains on the road would eventually wash away.

      • Rat on a train

        Why not use some airburst ammunition?

      • Bobarian LMD

        PGU-13/B high-explosive incendiary type can also be fired from the A-10.

        Grease fires will go out after a bit with only simple discoloration of the roadway.

      • Chafed

        I support this plan.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Soylent Green is people.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      No, that might start a fire at the homeless encampment/meth cookery on the shoulder.

  2. Common Tater

    “Plus-size TikTokkers”

    No.

    • Common Tater

      “Fat Positive Activists Are PASSING AWAY, But The Cult Must Go On.”

      https://youtu.be/bULD4lAEGcE

    • Ted S.

      Exponent-size would be a more appropriate term.

    • creech

      I hear Kroger is going to give a “complimentary second cart” of groceries to those who present as obese.

      • Aloysious

        For those who aren’t already trying to steal them blind.

  3. Shpip

    Under the Texas-based airline’s policy, customers whose bodies “encroach” past the armrest are entitled to an extra seat at no additional cost.

    It says that passengers “have the option of purchasing just one seat and then discussing your seating needs with the Customer Service Agent at the departure gate.

    “If it’s determined that a second (or third) seat is needed you’ll be accommodated with a complimentary additional seat,” the policy states.

    Can I “identify as plus-sized” and ask for a whole row? I like to stretch out when flying Economy.

    • Urthona

      Good question.

      There’s no way for them to check this beforehand is there?

      Just say “I’m corpulent” and get yourself some stretching room.

      • R.J.

        STEVE SMITH’S PENIS ENCROACH BEYOND PAST ARMREST!
        BY ENCROACH MEAN….
        RAPE FLIGHT CREW.

      • Urthona

        Upon being challenged for why you said you needed the row, simply say “Ozempic works, man”

    • Rat on a train

      My luggage also identifies as plus-sized so no extra charge, right?

    • Nephilium

      The real question is what happens if there are no empty seats on the flight? Are they going to bump someone for the fatty, or is the fatty going to have to wait for a flight with an empty seat?

      • kinnath

        one or more evil white men will be thrown off the aircraft.

      • Nephilium

        I can see Southwest doing it specifically to force the fatties to pay for two tickets (with the possibility of a refund, which would probably be flight credit), or force them to be the ones to go standby and announce it this way to get sympathy and praise from the fatties plus-sized activists.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        No one read the articles:

        But at least one person has voiced their opposition to the policy, sharing that she, her teenage daughter and her friend were kicked off of a flight in June.

        The mother said in her own TikTok video that she and the two teens were on their way home from Montego Bay, Jamaica, and had a layover in Baltimore, Maryland, before they could return home to Denver, Colorado.

        But during their layover, Southwest Airlines officials informed her that the flight was “overbooked” and they could not board the plane — despite spending $620.72 on tickets.

        “Please help me understand why do I have to spend the night without any accommodations in Baltimore because an oversized person didn’t purchase a second ticket,” the exasperated mother said, claiming all of hers and the teenagers’ luggage was sent to their final destination in Denver.

        She said airline officials told her “it is their right to kick a person out of the plane for the oversized person,” and shared a video of a conversation she had with an airline manager who said “even if there are not enough seats, we have to accommodate that customer of size.

      • Nephilium

        /starts to regret booking a flight with Southwest

      • Gustave Lytton

        Read your contract of carriage and exactly what SWA’s obligations to you are. Hint: low cost and ULCC are that way for a reason.

      • rhywun

        customer of size

        Are we really playing this word game? FFS.

      • Chafed

        Yes. Yes, they are.

  4. Fatty Bolger

    “Third-seater”, I might have to start using that.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Welcome to Lardass Airlines, where fatties fly for (practically) free. And three seats? Just strap that one to a pallet and stick him/her in the cargo hold. It’s not to be praised for any number of reasons including they’re free-riding off everyone else when it comes right down to it.

      • Grumbletarian

        Rebrand ‘cargo hold’ into ‘privacy suite’.

    • Timeloose

      I would use Flyer wt Abundant Tumidity

      • Fatty Bolger

        It’s a useful reference, though.

        “Yo dude, just how big is this cousin you’re trying to set me up with?’

        “She’s a two-seater at most. OK, I lied, she’s definitely a three-seater.”

      • Urthona

        haha.

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        That joke is a Kwanzika miracle!

  5. Bobarian LMD

    I’m good with the Southwest thing, as long as you make the armrest immovable.

    “Sit yer fat ass on it!”

    • Ted S.

      Yeah. Some lardass is trying to take the space I paid for, and *I’m* the selfish one?

    • Fourscore

      How about taller people? Many have been the times I’ve had the seat in front of me jammed down on my knees. I would like the bulk head row and side door exit row reserved for us exceptional people, at no extra cost. I usually want the aisle seat so I can put my feet in the aisle.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Does it go in the crease or up the butt? Asking for a friend.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Aisle armrests that go up so you can escape the middle person are a perk.

  6. EvilSheldon

    So I used to fly Southwest exclusively, mainly because their customer service people aren’t all surly incompetents.

    This may be at an end now.

    • Fatty Bolger

      I suspect this is actually more for the benefit of the one seaters not having to feel like they’re going to be popped out of their seat at any moment.

      • R.J.

        Any action which gives “free” extra seating to one group means the cost of seats overall will go up for everybody. TANSTAAFL, MF.

      • Fatty Bolger

        It certainly could mean that. But there’s also the cost of having to stuff four people’s worth of flesh into a three person row. It causes problems, and not just for the multi-seaters.

  7. kinnath

    As far as I am concerned, blocking roads is kidnapping. You are holding people captive against their will. I’m OK with just driving over the fuckers.

    • Urthona

      In Florida, this is indeed the law.

      Should probably be the rule everywhere.

      Though to be fair it should also apply to Canadian truckers and people who block abortion clinics.

      • kinnath

        Though to be fair it should also apply to Canadian truckers and people who block abortion clinics.

        Absolutely.

      • pistoffnick

        And to people who drive slow in the fast lane.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Road etiquette is a thing of the past when it comes to that.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Visualize lane discipline.

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        That is how Harley riders do it, and they all need to DIAF.

      • Fourscore

        Whoa now. I use the fast lane ’cause there’s less traffic and I’m not a very good driver. Safety first.

      • Rat on a train

        “I can set cruise control and not worry about getting stuck behind someone driving slow.”

      • Pope Jimbo

        Mrs. Holiness likes to drive in the left lane because she think is is smoother than the right lane. I try to keep my head down when I let her drive the Popemobile because it is embarrassing.

      • Lackadaisical

        ‘Though to be fair it should also apply to Canadian truckers and people who block abortion clinics.’

        I feel personally attacked.

        No one is allowed to ‘block’ abortion clinics. You can’t even protest *near* them (which is a clear 1A violation).

      • J. Frank Parnell

        There’s got to be an abortion clinic somewhere downstream from these protesters that they’re “blocking” access to. That should get them all, what, 10 years?

      • Lackadaisical

        But they were doing to for the ‘right reasons’, so its different.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Once again the media is ignoring us in flyover land. Cali idiots block a road and they get a link here.

      Once again Minnesoda is the vanguard of the True Progressives. Of course The Man is trying to hassle their righteous asses.

      Seven of the eight people arrested are described as adults. Five men were apprehended on suspicion of obstructing legal process/impeding traffic, one man was arrested on suspicion of fleeing in a motor vehicle, a woman was taken into custody on suspicion of possessing a firearm without a permit and a juvenile boy suspected of fleeing in a motor vehicle was also arrested.

      I’m hoping that the cops impounded all the cars that they used to block traffic.

  8. Common Tater

    “Outrage as Boston’s woke Democrat Mayor Michelle Wu plans NO WHITES Christmas party: Aide accidentally sent group email invitation meant ONLY for ‘electeds of color’

    Michelle Wu’s invitation for the December 13 ‘Electeds of Color Holiday Party’ appeared to have been sent out to all councilors in error by her aide, Denise DosSantos.

    DosSantos followed up the email 15 minutes later apologizing for the invite, clarifying that it was only meant for the city’s six councilors of color. The seven white council members were not welcome.

    ‘I wanted to apologize for my previous email regarding a Holiday Party for tomorrow,’ DosSantos, a black woman, wrote. ‘I did send that to everyone by accident, and I apologize if my email may have offended or came across as so. Sorry for any confusion this may have caused.'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12859903/Boston-Democrat-Mayor-Michelle-Wu-christmas-party.html

    “My bad, I let those honkies know”

    • Urthona

      This was embarrassing.

      Also since when do people of Chinese descent think they’re “persons of color”. They’re not even jungle Asians.

      • R.J.

        Word.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      How to revive a white racial consciousness without trying to revive a white racial consciousness.

      • Seguin

        What makes you think they aren’t trying? Collectivists need that kind of division in order to thrive.

    • grrizzly

      Racial relations in the US are pretty good among regular people, often so much better than in other countries. But among the US elites they are atrocious.

      • Urthona

        Yeah. Honestly, my kids are racially mixed and on their sports teams and activities there’s just about multiple of every color and creed.

        Not a single issue has been had anywhere.

        This dei crap is some kind of weird cultural sphere that most Americans don’t really live in most of the time. And that’s good.

      • The Last American Hero

        Unless you are self employed, you live in it too.

    • Nephilium

      Are they going to play I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas at the party?

  9. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    It seems to me that if you need a second or third seat, you should be flying in the cargo bay.

    • Fourscore

      My wife is on the smaller size, she should get a rebate.

      “If you’re shorter than this, you may be eligible for a discounted ticket…”

      • Urthona

        Need a special row with “extra small” seats that a fat person can sit next to.

      • Rat on a train

        If you create compact seats the fatties will still overflow there just like full size trucks overflowing compact spaces.

      • Rat on a train

        Start charging by weight.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Some airline tried that, not sure if they are still doing it though.

    • creech

      All this will be moot once greenies ban commercial air travel. Presumably private jets won’t have this fat ass problem (nor will private jets be banned, depending on the owner’s party registration.)

  10. Common Tater

    “A 32-year-old social worker who allegedly posed as a young student at three different Boston schools was seen in court on Tuesday as she pleaded not guilty to nine indictments.

    According to prosecutors, Shelby Hewitt pretended to be a traumatized child and fooled the Boston school district into allowing her to enroll in three different public high school.

    Hewitt appeared in Suffolk Superior Court on Tuesday as she faces nine charges: three counts for forgery, two counts of forgery at common law, one count of uttering and one count of identity fraud.

    Between December 6, 2021, and February 3, 2023, Hewitt allegedly carried out her elaborate scheme by taking on fake names and pretending to be a 13-year-old foster child with a ‘controlling’ foster-mother.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12859395/Boston-social-worker-accused-posing-child-court-photos.html

    But why?

    • Urthona

      I call bs.

      No way anyone could pull one over on the public school system.

      • The Other Kevin

        I don’t know, Steve Buschemi seemed to pull it off if the meme is correct.

      • Urthona

        haha

    • Shpip

      Doing research for a Fast Times at Ridgemont High remake.

      • R.J.

        “Uttering”

      • The Other Kevin

        21 Woke Street

    • Rat on a train

      one count of uttering
      “the passing of a forged document with intent to defraud”
      Learned a new term.

      • slumbrew
    • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

      It was the free uttering, that’s why!

    • Fourscore

      Seems odd that a normie would want to go back to school. After about 8th grade many would prefer a trade school environment so they could learn something

      • Urthona

        I feel like I would dominate middle school football right now.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Oooh, I like her cheek bones. Introductory prison pen pal letter incoming Shelby.

    • Homple

      “But why?”

      Cosplaying “Strangers With Candy”.

  11. Shpip

    Apparently, one of the people who President Twofer up at Harvard plagiarized was retired Princeton and Vanderbilt professor Carol Swain. I figured that the Cambridge gal would just brazen things out, Clinton-style, until the whole kerfuffle blows over.

    I’m not so sure if Swain is going to play ball. She just did an interview that all but called out Gay as progressive academia’s (sorry for the redundancy) house Negress. To wit:

    “She became president of Harvard and got recognition as being its first black president. I don’t believe her record warranted tenure, and I believe that I had to meet a much higher standard than she did. Something changed in the mid-1990s, [when] we were having a big affirmative action debate.

    “It’s clear to me that standards were lowered in the mid-1990s, and the elites came together and decided that they were going to defend affirmative action. It’s clear to me that she was a beneficiary of that. I blame her committee, and I blame white progressives equally. I also have no doubt that progressives have always elevated people who fit the bill of what they’re looking, and they needed someone like her.”

    Ouch.

    • The Other Kevin

      Being black and Gay give you a big advantage these days.

    • whiz

      According to the Daily Fail, Swain “an outspoken conservative in the liberal world of academia and previously served on President Donald Trump’s ‘1776 Commission,’ which sought to increase ‘patriotic education’.” I guess she felt it wasn’t going to hurt her to speak out, as opposed to a progressive who was plagiarized

  12. R.J.

    “Why do white people make their edibles so strong?

    Richard Pryor: “White people like to take acid and watch The Exorcist.”

  13. DEG

    Self-described “fat solo traveler” Kimmy showed her followers how to use the program in a video that went viral in October.

    She simply went up to the airline booth and said, “Hello, I’m hoping to use your customer of size policy today.”

    “Southwest is the only airline that allows you a second seat at no extra cost even if the flight is fully booked,” she captioned the video.

    Where do they find those extra seats? Bump the skinny folks off?

    /continues reading article

    Yes… yes they do.

    • Sensei

      What if I simply identify as morbidly obese?

  14. kinnath

    I am a short, round dude. I do not fit into an economy seat well. I sit the entire flight with my arms crossed and pulled in a close as I can.

    This customer of size policy is obscene.

    Fuck all the fat-is-beautiful warriors. It isn’t.

    • Urthona

      I honestly think it’s uncomfortable for anyone over 6 feet as well. These are not big seats and I’ve hated flying even since college when I was more svelte.

      • kinnath

        Yes, I used to travel with a guy that was 6′ 2″ or 3″. I think economy seating was much harder on him than me.

      • whiz

        I’m 6’6″ and really have problems. We usually get economy+ seats that extra leg room.

    • Mojeaux, font of all evil

      Fuck all the fat-is-beautiful warriors. It isn’t.

      As a “person of size,” agreed wholeheartedly. I don’t think anybody actually thinks it’s beautiful.

      I’d buy the second ticket, because that’s the honorable thing to do.

  15. Gustave Lytton

    Olmos is a piece of shit leftist propagandist. He was one of the asshole at OPB lying their asses off on behalf of the antifa rioters in Portland three years ago. Fuck that shitstain with rusty barbed wire.

  16. DEG

    Sounds official to me: Haley is the Establishment pick

    Gov. Chris Sununu didn’t waste any time Tuesday night making it official.

    As soon as he took the stage in Manchester at a town hall campaign event, he told the crowd about encountering a “sweet older woman” who stopped him and asked, “So, are you finally going to endorse Nikki Haley?”

    “You bet your a** I am!” Sununu exclaimed as the crowd broke into applause. “We’re all in for Nikki Haley!”

    Sununu used his brief time onstage to preview what Granite State voters — and perhaps just as important, reporters covering the First in the Nation primary — can expect over the next 40 days: Energy, enthusiasm, and a clearly articulated case for Republicans to take a pass on former President Donald Trump and pick Nikki Haley.

    “The rest of the country is looking to New Hampshire,” Sununu told the 200 or so people who packed the McIntyre Ski Area facility. “We always take pride. We never choose yesterday’s news.”

    • Gustave Lytton

      She’s been pushed so hard the past couple of weeks I thought that was already official.

      • DEG

        I haven’t paid much attention to the news lately, so if there was a change in news coverage, I didn’t see it.

        On the other hand what I have noticed is:

        I’ve been getting swamped with spam texts from in equal amounts from Christie, Haley, and Ramaswamy over the last couple of weeks. Campaign signs are starting to go up here in NH, and I think Ramaswamy has the edge there. I have seen no change in the amount of pro-Haley ads on the TV at the gym.

      • whiz

        Here in Iowa it seems like every other TV commercial is for a Republican running for president. It’s funny when they’re back-to-back for Haley and Desantis.

      • Rat on a train

        Only getting Haley ads here in Virginia.

    • Fatty Bolger

      She’s the new “Jeb!”

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Nikki is totally fetch.

    • Grumbletarian

      GLWT. How many people does Sununu think will go, “Well I was going to vote for Trump, but not anymore wince Sununu endorsed Nikki”? Because I’d be surprised if that number has more than one digit.

      • DEG

        Sununu is an peak into what the Establishment is thinking. i doubt Sununu is the one doing the thinking or deciding here.

      • DEG

        Though I should add, I know more than a few NH Republicans who voted for Trump in the past and will NOT vote for Trump again.

      • Grumbletarian

        Agreed, I just doubt very few of them were waiting for Sununu’s endorsement to decide on for whom to vote instead.

      • DEG

        A few of them hate Sununu…. so they’ll whom not to vote for.

      • Homple

        Sununu Jr. is the poster child for Regression to the Mean.

  17. Gustave Lytton

    Ehh, other airlines have fatty policies or allow you to purchase a second seat period.

  18. DEG

    Sheriff gives up gig to avoid jail

    Democratic Strafford County Sheriff Mark Brave found his “Get Out of Jail Free” card. He quit his job.

    Until Tuesday, the accused fraudster was on paid leave while his case moved forward. Then, he was caught hiding that he was living in Massachusetts in violation of a court order and, therefore, illegally collecting more than $10,000 in pay as an elected official. Facing the loss of his bail deal, Brave bailed on the sheriff’s job rather than going directly to jail.

  19. DEG

    No bail for UNH staffer that threatened Vivek Ramaswamy

    Brought into court by federal agents and wearing the Strafford County House of Corrections’ inmate uniform, Tyler Anderson managed to stay quiet for Monday’s short hearing.

    If he had mastered that same self-control before he allegedly started threatening GOP politicians, Anderson might not have been in court at all.

    Anderson, 30, threatened to kill Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy at a campaign event planned for Monday morning, U.S. Attorney Jane E. Young said in a statement. And days before that threat, Anderson allegedly threatened a mass shooting at a different Republican presidential candidate’s events and made threats to multiple other candidates, according to court records.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Blame the first Gulf War. All those smart bombs made it seem like technology was going to make it so that only enemy combatants would get blown up.

      Also helped that the enemy combatants were mostly out in the desert when they were getting bombed.

      War sucks. Lots of innocent people are going to get killed along with the bad people. That is why you should only engage in war as a last resort. You should be so sure that you have to go to war that you are ready to see piles of dead women and children on TV as a result.

      • Sensei

        “That combination, that it was a specific brigade that got a lot of the casualties and that it was a large amount of high-ranking officers, made it hurt a lot. We’re hurting today,” Eisin said.

        If it only had conscripted grunts it would have hurt less.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      “despite the mounting losses”

      At best losses will stay unchanged, but most likely they will increase. Unless they have an army of Jesuses.

      It’s like the coverage of Covid about the the climbing death toll.

      • Pope Jimbo

        an army of Jesuses

        That explains why their lawns look so good even while being bombed daily.

      • Fourscore

        “Jose can you see?”

    • J. Frank Parnell

      The number is dwarfed by the enormous death toll among Palestinians in Gaza. According to the Hamas-run Ministry of Health in Gaza, 18,412 had been killed as of Tuesday. CNN cannot independently verify that number, but

      but we’re going to run with it and editorialize based off that number anyways.

      I guess they used up all their “baselessly claimed” and “claimed without evidence” talking about Trump and have none left for Hamas?

  20. Pope Jimbo

    I once got a $200 voucher from SouthWest because a huge guy took up way more than one of the three seats in our row. Me and the other guy basically had to sit sideways from Mpls to Chicago. Only an hour so it wasn’t terrible.

    What really sucked was that my flight wasn’t very full and I thought I was going to at least get one empty seat in my row. Then some other flight got canceled for mechanical reasons and the refugees from that flight got on ours. So not only was it 100% full, my row got the big guy who couldn’t even get his arm rest down. At least I wasn’t the sap in the middle who had to deal with his fat rolls pushing into him.

    I complained afterward and they instantly coughed up a voucher AND a bunch of free drink tickets.

  21. Pope Jimbo

    When that guy gets the munchies, think he’ll do a couple shots of this and get really fucked up?

    But, perhaps one of the strangest announcements comes from Doritos, who have announced that they’re releasing an alcoholic Nacho Cheese Spirit for fans to try.

    This comes after a collaboration with liquor brand, Empirical, with the essence of Dorito’s classic Nacho Cheese flavor being extracted through vacuum distillation.

    Commenting on the new release, the brand’s Senior Vice President of Marketing said: “Doritos is all about disrupting culture and bringing our fans unexpected, bold experiences… We’re always pushing our fans to try new things, so we figure it’s time we disrupt the spirits category by offering our iconic nacho cheese flavor in a bottle.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yuck, I’d drink Bud Light before I’d drink that stuff.

    • Urthona

      I love both alcohol and doritos, but I prefer they be kept both separate and equal.

  22. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    I’m-a be discussing my seating needs next time I fly SW*

    *never

    • Pope Jimbo

      My seating needs when I fly SouthWest involve making the cute young gals sit in the seat next to me. Unfortunately the crew never accommodated me, and probably alerted the gals about my requests ensuring that they chose seats somewhere else.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    They and many politicians seem to think you can have an air war that only kills combatants. Unreal.

    *starts working on DARPA grant for AI cluster bomblets*

  24. The Late P Brooks

    You know, it seems to me what we have seen in “elite academia” in the past two or three decades amounts to one of the greatest episodes of value destruction in human history.

  25. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. The Man was going to clear out Camp Nenookaasi* (homeless camp) but then a miracle occurred!

    But then the wily homeless came up with an ingenious plan to delay the closure of their camp. Now the question is how long they can keep this up. Get a week reprieve for every murder? Sounds like a plan!

    Rose said that this homicide marks the second serious shooting at this location in a month.

    Minneapolis officials planned to evict the encampment this Thursday, but the eviction date was pushed to Tuesday, Dec. 19, a city spokesperson told 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS.

    “The City of Minneapolis has posted a new notice at the encampment indicating a closure date of Dec. 19. The City will spend the extra five days working closely with partners to get dozens more community members into housing,” the spokesperson said. “The City takes this responsibility seriously and will continue working with Helix Health and Housing Services and Hennepin County to get people connected to services.”

    * Yes even our homeless camps are so progressive that they have Ojibwa names. Nenookaasi is Ojibwa for hummingbird. Seems in poor taste to me since the Ojibwa invaded this land and pushed the Dakota out onto the plains.

    • creech

      Well, they weren’t evil White colonizers.

      • Rat on a train

        Blame whitey for giving them guns.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      That’s impossible. Before the white man came everyone lived in harmony. There was no war and no slavery.

    • R.J.

      “Welcome to Werner Herzog’s new line of children’s toys.”

      I’m in!

  26. Mojeaux, font of all evil

    News, every night: THE SKY IS FALLING FOR DONALD TRUMP!!!!

    Sky: Nope. Not falling.

  27. Lackadaisical

    Waiting for Southwest’s ‘customer of height policy’ to be implemented where they remove the seat in front of you so you have enough leg room.

    • R.J.

      Just make a single “Customers of Unusual Size” policy and have them all sit in the fire swamp.

      • Urthona

        I don’t think they exist.

      • Fourscore

        Plus-minus 2 standard deviations

      • Sean

        Thank you

  28. Ownbestenemy

    No zoomies? Finally made it to Kentucky..hit the bar and grabbed some good pizza.

    • Old Man With Candy

      I’ve been dragooned by a pile of work.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Then Friday or Saturday it is!

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        You better bring it on Saturday – there’s $40 at stake!

      • Old Man With Candy

        I am at Tomb Raider’s this weekend, but I may be able to coax her to sit in.

  29. Sensei

    I just saw the trailer for this and did a WTF?

    https://screenrant.com/what-caused-civil-war-2024-movie/

    The idea of CA and TX seceding and forming an alliance puts it beyond sci-fi and into fantasy. I don’t think Hollywood grasps what a legitimate U.S. civil war is likely to look like.

    • kinnath

      time for these maps again

      Rural vs urban. The only question is where the suburbs wind up.

      • kinnath

        Yeah, population density puts the Clinton Archipelago at par with Trump Land, but the Clinton Archipelago can’t feed itself without Trump Land.

        Siege is the name of the game.

      • Sensei

        Seems like you and I were thinking the same thing at the same time.

      • Sensei

        Here in NJ I can tell you…

        Allied with DC and starving. There is also a large rural and urban divide here despite the small size of the state. The suburbs would likely wind up allied with the cities. While purple they have no idea what it takes to actually be self sufficient. And guns are generally icky.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Hollywood hoping and praying thinking their liberal base will still have theaters to attend to watch this shit?

    • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

      That’s Nacho cheese, and nacho drink.

      • R.J.

        When we are all loaded onto trains during Biden’s second term, nacho cheese vodka will be the only liquor we will be given during the ride to the work camps.

    • Sean

      Imma pass.

    • Shpip

      If only her phoney-baloney job paid her a living wage…

    • creech

      10 percent for the Big Gal.

  30. Gustave Lytton

    Reloading software and looking at a jigger of whisky.

  31. DrOtto

    Remind me again why I drive most everywhere?

    • Gustave Lytton

      The alternative is worse?

    • Lackadaisical

      You’re not fat enough to get a free airline ticket?

      • Ghostpatzer

        *golf clap*

  32. Beau Knott

    Good morning all!
    One more from The Who.

    Love Reign O’er Me. May it do so so for each of us.

    Share and enjoy!

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Beau and Sean!

      Finally got a clue from one sister what to get the other sister for Christmas, so I may try to knock off work early to hit the store before the weekend.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, U! How are you today?

      • UnCivilServant

        I didn’t get enough sleep overnight, the bridge and several roads around it are still closed. And the store is still out of both cheese curds and 2-liters of Diet Dew

      • Gender Traitor

        Good grief! I hope you were able to get some kind of decent cheese and some other size of Dew! 😒

      • UnCivilServant

        I did. But I dislike disruptions of my routine.

      • Gender Traitor

        Indeed. Such disruptions first thing in the morning are particularly unfair!

      • Beau Knott

        Mornin’ GT! My holiday music string starts next week. Something to annoy everyone 😉

      • Gender Traitor

        Looking forward to it! 😁

      • Beau Knott

        You say that now…

      • Ghostpatzer

        Ruh-roh…

    • Gender Traitor

      Make it myself?? That’s why God made timers on drip coffeemakers!

      • Sean

        I’m a lazy K-cup guy.

      • R C Dean

        One more thing to break. No electronics on my coffee-maker – the closest it gets is the on/off switch lights up when it’s on. It’s gotta be 15 years old, works like new.

      • UnCivilServant

        At the very least you’ve got a heating element.

        I also strongly suspect there’s a pump in there too.

      • R C Dean

        No pump. As the water boils it pushes itself up from the heating element and over to drip on the grounds.

        I don’t count resistance heating as “electronics”.

      • UnCivilServant

        I do, it’s an electrically powered component.

      • R C Dean

        Not everything electrical is electronic. An Edison bulb is not electronic.

      • UnCivilServant

        How do you come to that conclusion?

        What is your definition of each then?

      • R C Dean

        Good question. What’s your definition? If an electrical current passes through it, its electronics?

      • UnCivilServant

        If we intentionally pass electricity through it to make it work, it is electronics, or use it to generate said electricity.

  33. Tres Cool

    Suh fam
    Whats goody

    /still stuck in W. VA

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, homey! When do you get to cross the bridge?

  34. Rat on a train

    So checking out some details for the Caps move to Alexandria. Of the $2B, the owners will put up $400M, the city $100M, and $1.5B will be from government bonds. I hope it is rejected.

    • Ghostpatzer

      I hope it is rejected.

      Fat chance. The taxpaying public seems to be incapable of making a connection between these boondoggles and their increasing tax burden. And this does not take into account the large number of voters who are not paying taxes.

      • prolefeed

        If it gets voted down, they’ll keep coming back for a revote, until it passes.

      • Rat on a train

        This time we promise it will generate even more revenue.

  35. Ghostpatzer

    Mornin’, reprobates!

    Another milestone for Mrs. Patzer. Coming home from PT yesterday, she gets in the driver’s seat (she is driving now). As I am closing her door she says, “no, let me see if I can close it”, rolls down the window, and grabs the door with the hooked end of her cane to close it. I get in the passenger seat and say, “yet another example of homo sapiens, toolmaker”. And we simultaneously break out in song:

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2HwmO_GZfzI

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, ‘patzie! That’s a wonderful story! 😄

    • UnCivilServant

      But the Toolmaker was Haibilis. Sapiens is the wise one.

      • Ghostpatzer

        OK, Pedantus.

      • Not Adahn

        *opera applause*

      • R C Dean

        “Sapiens is the wise one.”

        You sure about that?

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, my Latin is nonexistant, but that’s what the internet says.