IFLA: The “Boring” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of Jan 7

by | Jan 7, 2024 | IFLA | 152 comments


The skies are chilling out for a bit. All the real planets are moving directly, and they’re all minding their own business. Relax.

Oh, you want something to actually happen? Well, there are fluctuations in the Luck Plane on Tuesday, and for a very brief time between Wednesday and Thursday, the Moon will pass between the Earth and Mars. It would take more work than I’m willing to engage in to figure out exactly when, so if you’re looking to pick a fight, you’ll need to spring for the Premium Package to get the best time to try. There’s a new moon on Saturday, but you don’t need me to tell you about that since you have calendars.



Capricorn: The Tower – I really don’t have to translate this one do I?

Aquarius: 7 of Coins reversed – Cause for anxiety regarding money, especially if lending.

Pisces: 7 of Swords reversed –  Good advice, counsel, instruction, slander, babbling.

Aries: Queen of Cups reversed – Good woman or distinguished woman but one not to be trusted; perverse woman; vice, dishonor, depravity.

Taurus: The High Priestess – Secrets, mystery, the future as yet unrevealed, silence, tenacity; mystery, wisdom, science.

Gemini: Ace of Wands reversed – Fall, decadence, ruin, perdition, clouded joy.

Cancer: Justice – Equity, rightness, probity, executive; triumph of the deserving side in law.

Leo: Page of Wands – Dark young man, faithful, a lover, an envoy, a postman. 

Virgo: 10 of Cups –  Contentment, repose of the entire heart; the perfection of that state; also perfection of human love and friendship.

Libra: 8 of Cups – Joy, mildness, timidity, honor, modesty, the decline of a matter, or that a matter which has been thought to be important is really of slight consequence–either for good or evil.

Scorpio: Knight of Cups – Arrival, approach–sometimes that of a messenger; advances, proposition, demeanor, invitation, incitement.

Sagittarius: 8 of Wands reversed – Jealousy, internal dispute, stingings of conscience, quarrels; and domestic disputes for persons who are married.


About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

152 Comments

  1. Mojeaux

    Taurus: The High Priestess – Secrets, mystery, the future as yet unrevealed, silence, tenacity; mystery, wisdom, science.

    Well, that doesn’t tell me anything.

    • Not Adahn

      It’s very mysterious.

      • R C Dean

        Secretive, even.

    • CPRM

      It’s not even real #Science and you don’t Fucking Love it.

  2. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 8 of Wands reversed – Jealousy, internal dispute, stingings of conscience, quarrels; and domestic disputes for persons who are married.

    Sounds like a busy week for the voices in my head.

  3. Gender Traitor

    I, for one, could stand a boring week, but I don’t think I’m going to get one.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Well, that doesn’t tell me anything.

    Science it out.

  5. Not Adahn

    Driveway cleared. Hopefully I’ll be able to get Lily vids in the snow now.

    • UnCivilServant

      I haven’t even looked outside today.

    • DEG

      The second round of the storm is here. It’s supposed to go until after dark.

      • Ted S.

        Looks like it’s ending here a bit earlier than expected.

      • R.J.

        I see that. Heck of a storm.

  6. Tres Cool

    Saturday?
    Damn it. I was certain there was a new moon on Monday.

  7. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    perverse woman

    KK’s gettin’ laid!

    • hayeksplosives

      I’m trying to figure out what it means for me (a fellow Aries.).

      I better not be getting laid!

      • prolefeed

        Go on …

      • rhywun

        The “vice, dishonor, depravity” seems specifically targeted at me, if none of the rest of that.

  8. Mojeaux

    I thought I would be finished with my big project tomorrow, but I have to wait for my client’s collaboration to finish the preliminaries. To be fair, the preliminaries are 75% of the job, but I can’t go further than 60% without him.

    @NotAdahn, regarding Trey giving or not giving Marina a motorcycle — It doesn’t work that way. On long bike trips, I would have given my eyeteeth for an ice pack between my between and the seat. Hot, not hawt.

    • Don escaped Texas

      preliminaries are 75% of the job

      Probably so for anything more important than ditch-digging, but few are wise enough to see it.

      house of quality, functional deployment, whatever you want to call it

      • Mojeaux

        I learned my lesson with interior wall painting. PREP PREP PREP PREP PREP.

    • Not Adahn

      What? The joke about nuns biking down cobblestone streets isn’t real?

      (I was referencing Marina’s ulterior motives for liking roller coasters.)

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, I know. I’m saying that what a rollercoaster does to one’s nethers is different from what a motorcycle does to one’s nethers.

      • Spudalicious

        A guy I used to work with was very big into motocross. His wife didn’t get it. He finally got her on the back of the bike for a ride. He stopped after about 15 minutes to see how she was doing. She slapped him in the back of the helmet and said “don’t you dare stop now!”.

      • Mojeaux

        I haven’t ridden bitch since I was 5 years old, so I wouldn’t know about that.

      • Mojeaux

        Also, Motocross? Better suspension, higher off the ground, bouncy bouncy bouncy …

      • Tres Cool

        There is a reason women are drawn to Harley-Davidson.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    The choir can wear robes in all the colors of the rainbow, so long as they all sing the same tune

    Gay herself is emblematic of what diversity has come to mean. Her father, Sony Gay, is vice-president of Haiti’s major construction company. She attended Phillips Exeter Academy, the most elite of America’s elite boarding schools, and a feeder for Harvard. “Gay may have changed the color of the mold,” academic Tyler Austin Harper wrote, “but she sure didn’t break it.”

    Conservatives pushing against diversity policies care little about economic equality and many are animated by racist concerns. That does not mean those on the left for whom inequality does matter should, in response, circle the wagons in defence of DEI policies that entrench class privilege.

    Superficial diversity as a means to privilege is their goal. The rest is just smoke and mirrors.

    • rhywun

      “Shorter us: We’re moving the goalposts. Again.”

      CWABOA

    • R C Dean

      “Conservatives pushing against diversity policies care little about economic equality and many are animated by racist concerns.”

      The mind-reading powers of progressives are truly remarkable. We should put them in charge of everything.

  10. DEG

    Nice dog videos.

    Dark young man, faithful, a lover, an envoy, a postman.

    I can’t tell if that is sufficiently shitty or not.

    • Not Adahn

      Depends on how hot our postal carrier is.

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        So, someone who delivers the male?

  11. DEG

    If at first you don’t secede, try, try again.

    • Don escaped Texas

      best of luck

      my clans tried it: didn’t work out so swell

      • DEG

        It’ll go nowhere.

    • Plinker762

      Republic of Indian Stream II?

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Skimming a couple of Autopian articles looking for something not completely useless, I tripped over this.

    Sounds vaguely familiar, don’t it?

    The package, under discussion by the industry ministry, would include financial incentives worth as much as €13,750 to allow citizens with an annual income lower than €30,000 to scrap their Euro 2 models, which are more than 20 years old, in favor of new electric cars.

    The aim, according to the document, would be to “change Italy’s vehicle fleet, which is one the oldest in Europe, with at least 11 million EURO 3 cars or lower-grade vehicles.” The plan would also “support low-income families and the purchase of cars made in the country”.

    That’s a lot of Lire. Also, people are smart. If you’ve got a 25-year-old Fiat Uno that needs all sorts of work and the government offers you essentially 65% off a Dacia Spring you’re probably going to try and get the Dacia Spring.

    People really love electric cars, honest.A little cash for clunkers bribery just puts a cherry on top.

    • rhywun

      Won’t someone please think of the Chinese strip-miners?!

  13. Not Adahn

    The range was unplowed, which triggered cancelling the shoot. Grumble.

      • Not Adahn

        I actually hung around the front gate until 1:00 in cane anyone came by that I hadn’t texted. Nobody did. Pussies.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’d concluded that I was more in the mood to keep painting minis than leave the house.

    • Don escaped Texas

      anyone ever gum up from too much oil ?

      • SDF-7

        Also the psychology department at the local university — they’re all about suppression.

    • R C Dean

      These euphemisms.

  14. hayeksplosives

    Watching NFL redzone.

    Too much stimulus! Brain asplode!!

    (Also I really miss Andrew Siciliano)

    • Ted S.

      You’re just turned on by those ears, aren’t you? :-p

      • hayeksplosives

        Ha, no. But he could definitely hear around corners, no doubt.

        He was good at his job, good football insight, had a much more pleasant voice than the current idiot, had a sense of humor that could be dry and a little vicious at times, and he made little throwaway quote of obscure shows/movies that I enjoyed.

  15. juris imprudent

    Good woman or distinguished woman but one not to be trusted; perverse woman; vice, dishonor, depravity.

    To borrow from Tres: I have the strangest erection right now.

  16. SDF-7

    Quick! We haven’t put enough political enemies in jail yet!

    • hayeksplosives

      That is blatantly unconstitutional.

      • Tres Cool

        Yes, but who in that bunch has the ca$h to pay lawyers to defend them against federal prosecutors that will drag everything out.

      • rhywun

        Just think, there are another ten months to drag this shit out, Biden spitting and hissing all the way.

    • creech

      Probably has a guy in Moscow right now reviewing how Russia’s various security agencies have handled such matters over the years to “protect democracy.”

    • rhywun

      Yeah, they’ve been saying for awhile they’re only “halfway there”.

      this money is going to Palestine

      LOL sure Jan

    • Gustave Lytton

      The People’s House doesn’t belong to the People.

      (I fucking hate that term)

      • hayeksplosives

        Any title including “The People’s” immediately sets off my commie detector.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Like democratic republic.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    We haven’t put enough political enemies in jail yet!

    Rebel sympathizers! Collaborators! Saboteurs!

    • juris imprudent

      Wreckers!! Kulaks!!! [oh, wait, never mind]

  18. The Hyperbole

    Virgo: 10 of Cups – Contentment, repose of the entire heart; the perfection of that state; also perfection of human love and friendship.

    Fuck that shit.

    • Tres Cool

      And your pickles.

  19. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    the furnace decided to work this morning, so hayek & the RV guy were both 100% right – looks like the ignition area needs cleaning. If I can interpret the schematics (questionable), I’ll do it myself

    • hayeksplosives

      Yay!

      If you want to send me a link to the furnace model I can take a look and point out what probably needs cleaning.

      • hayeksplosives

        @protonmail.com

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        My main issue right now seems to be not being able to get the cover off the furnace. I’m going to try to WD it tomorrow and see if it’ll unscrew. I don’t have a drill, and one screw is being stubborn. Then I can see whether I can match the schematic up with the real life thing.

    • Grummun

      ignition area

      these euphemisms

      • SDF-7

        Hot

    • tripacer

      If it ends up being a bad ignitor board, I had good luck with Dinosaur Boards. As a bonus, their website is straight outta the 90’s.

  20. R.J.

    Just bought this interesting Old Fashioned drink mixer. It’s good. I only paid $12 for it. No way I would have paid $20.

    https://www.withcococktails.com/products/ellis-old-fashioned

    Also Sprouts had their pre-made fancy burger patties for .99 cents a pound! I wiped them out.

  21. hayeksplosives

    Many of us, and indeed of the population at large, have already decided “never again” with Covid masks, mandatory vaccines, school closures, and economic shutdowns.

    But as I reread “Deception” bay Rand Paul, I’m reminded of one glaring problem behind all the Covid mess. Government employees are allowed to do government-funded research but then take out personally owned patents? Invest in pharmaceutical companies, and make millions in royalties when any of their “cures” or tests are used.

    That shit needs to end now. The fox is guarding the henhouse.

    Also, this money laundering whereby the US government gets around gain-of-function research bans by funneling money to Wuhan and the like also needs to be shut down.

    Greed and a lust for power created the disease we call Covid. And we all know there won’t be prosecutions, but is it too much to ask for dismantling the incentives that led to Covid before the next disease leaks out into the populace?

    • DEG

      NO SPOILERS!

      I have the book queued up.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yeah, any such patents arising out of employment belong to the employer.

  22. Lackadaisical

    Bills, Lions and Browns in the playoffs?

    *checks sky for SMOD*

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Bills and Lions and Browns, oh my.

    • Tres Cool

      I saw it, and as deeply immersed in conspiracy as I am now, I kept asking myself “is that really his brother?” “What is Tucker is all in on this?”
      Also, he really didnt indict anyone directly.

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      I like quite a few of those. I would love to see some of the built without concrete. Maybe like carbon fiber or something

    • rhywun

      Love/hate.

      The goal is function, first and foremost

      Hmph. Form Follows Function was a maxim long before brutalism. It started with this guy.

    • Tres Cool

      #6 looks like something directly from Terry Gilliam’s “Brazil”

  23. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    The venison stew is most excellent. I just wish the meat were chunks instead of ground. Beggars can’t be choosers!

    (deer was murked by my next door neighbor)

  24. DEG

    Folks are riding snowmobiles up and down my road.

      • Tres Cool

        “Gassel, who allegedly had been drinking since 3:30 in the afternoon, reportedly blew a .186 when given a preliminary breathalyzer test.”

        Thats it?

  25. Ted S.

    Despite all the dysfunction, Green Bay makes the playoffs. 🙂

    • The Gunslinger

      Justin Fields’ last game for the Bears? Could be. I think they trade him before the draft.

    • Tres Cool

      Enough to keep LaFleur working for another season. And he only has a job in the NFL thanks to Shanahan.

  26. Grumbletarian

    The Patriots managed to lose to the Jets and their third-string QB in Foxboro, fail to score a touchdown in a game for the fifth time this season, and they still managed to lose positioning in next year’s draft.

    I hope this will take the wind out of the sails of the Bailey Zappe fan club.

    • juris imprudent

      Is there another member of that fan club besides Bellicheck?

      • Grumbletarian

        At the very least it includes all the fans who thought Zappe should keep playing over Mac Jones. The QB is not the problem with the Patriot offense. There isn’t a QB in the league who could reliably play well behind the offensive line the Patriots fielded, nor with the receiving talent they have. Get some blocking and some pass catchers and Jones would do fine — he went to the Pro Bowl in his rookie season before Josh McDaniels left and Belichek put a defensive coordinator in charge of the offense.

      • slumbrew

        That Patricia / Judge move was egregious.

      • Grumbletarian

        Agreed. Then the Patriots followed that debacle up by letting the one receiver Jones had any chemistry with sign with the Raiders while they bring in JuJu Smith-Schuster for basically the same money. Then they wait until the sixth round of the draft to pick anyone who might be able to catch the ball despite it being one of the deeper drafts for WRs and TEs. They pick a kicker in the fourth round who’s missed roughly half his attempts this year, and drafted a punter in the sixth round. New England has the third pick coming up next year, and if Belichick is in charge I expect them to either grab the top equipment manager in the draft before any other team scoops him up, or trade down two or three times to stockpile fifth round picks or some shit.

      • Chafed

        Ouch!

      • slumbrew

        Belichick-as-head-coach might survive but Belichick-as-GM is out of a job, I suspect.

        His drafting is an obvious stain on his legacy.

  27. hayeksplosives

    This “peacock only” access for the SNL game is bogus.

    • rhywun

      Football? It’s on NBC oooh maybe a time zone thing?

      • Mojeaux

        They’re saying one playoff game will be Peacock only.

      • rhywun

        Yah just saw that.

        It better not be my team.

      • Mojeaux

        Might be yours, but it’s DEFINITELY mine.

      • rhywun

        Unless I misheard it sounds like I have to root for the Bills to lose tonight LOL.

      • slumbrew

        If the Bills lose, we get a repeat of tonight’s game.

      • rhywun

        But at least I get to watch it.

        But of course they score two touchdowns since I wrote that.

      • rhywun

        OK now I’m hearing that I have to root for a win.

        🫡

      • slumbrew

        You’re good either way – Bills win, they see the Steelers (Dolphins to KC for the streaming game), Bills lose we do this again.

        Bills might end up in KC if this ends in a tie, so let’s not have that.

      • slumbrew

        Jaysus, that was a ballsy call on their own 35.

      • Mojeaux

        Hey-O!

      • Tres Cool

        Want my login?
        I wont be watching, and I only bought that stupid thing for the SouthPark BS.

      • The Hyperbole

        The NBC station in the playing team’s area will broadcast the game, but it’s still a shitty move, especially for Browns fans* as they are legion and inhabit all corners of our great nation.

        *If they chose the Browns game and why wouldn’t they? as mention Browns fans are probably the most wide spread fan base in ‘Murica.

      • rhywun

        Annoyingly, my market not Buffalo despite being in Bills territory fan-wise. So I miss a lot of games.

      • rhywun

        I would expect all games will be stream-only whenever the latest contracts run out. Over-the-air might get one or two games a week if they’re feeling generous.

    • Chafed

      Yes it is. I’m not paying for streaming while having to sit through a Bud Light ad.

  28. CPRM

    Homemade pizza at my little brother’s house and watched a Packer game for only 2nd time this season. Jordon Love looks like a completely different player from the beginning of the season. Maybe he is the lead to an Invasion of Body Snatchers.

    • The Hyperbole

      You should be linking to the original, remakes/reboots/sequels are frowned upon in these here parts.

      *hitches britches and hawks a loogie*

      • Chafed

        I think Ted’S is asleep. CPRM will be okay.

      • The Hyperbole

        Ackshually, Teds’ is one of the lone voices of reason when you people start whinging about how nobody can make original movies anymore. He likes to point out that the version of ‘The Maltese Falcon’ that everyone knows/loves is like the third or fourth attempt.

      • Ted S.

        Yeah; this weekend I watched two formulaic movies about rich guy falling for working girl: The King and the Chorus Girl from 1937, and the Barbara Stanwyck movie The Woman in Red from I think 1935. Both formulaic, but they do succeed.

        My problem with Hollywood is effects-driven stuff to play to the international market, and the lack of intelligent grown-up movies in particular since the critics and a lot of people in Hollywood itself seem to care more about ticking off demographic check boxes. A lot of the remakes/sequels seem to be predicated on “White men must not enjoy this character any longer.” And with foreign film I’ve long railed against critics foisting arthouse shit on us as if it’s the only foreign film worth watching.

        But yeah, in many ways you can argue that movie making hasn’t really been original for decades.

      • Tres Cool

        Can a brotha get a link?

  29. Homple

    “Virgo: 10 of Cups – Contentment, repose of the entire heart; the perfection of that state; also perfection of human love and friendship.”

    More of this, please.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean (and somewhere upthread, Ted’S.!)

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, U! How are you today?

      • UnCivilServant

        I made the mistake of staying up til 2am for no good reason.

        I did log in to work on time and took out the garbage last night, so no catastrophic errors yet.

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh, my. I hope you have plenty of Dew.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I don’t get it.

      • Sean

        Really? That was better acting than most of anything in theaters last year.*

        *I haven’t gone to a movie theater in years.

  30. Not Adahn

    Woo hoo! I have covid!

    *does bonus PTO dance*

    • Gender Traitor

      Congratulations? 😕

      How are you feeling?

      • Not Adahn

        Honestly, not too bad today. The combination of pseudoephedrine and fluticasone is making it so I can sleep at night. The first night I had it (Friday) sucked. Just tested yesterday.

        In retrospect, the shoot being cancelled was a good thing.

        Of course, not being able to take Lily to the park is a bad thing. She gets sad.

      • Gender Traitor

        Glad you’re feeling better. You can sleep on pseudoephedrine?? That always keeps me awake.

    • Sean

      *does bonus PTO dance*

      Companies still do that?

      I’m a bit surprised.

      • UnCivilServant

        It depends on how quickly they update their policies.

    • Gender Traitor

      What’s the Musk equivalent of Orange Man Bad?

      • The Gunslinger

        Musk stinks?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        What gets me is most of the people rending their garments over his maybe/maybe not drug use are the same ones who say “So what?” over homeless people shooting up in the streets-it’s all so transparently political.

    • hayeksplosives

      Woo-hoo!

      Another opportunity to pick up Tesla stock cheap as people panic-sell their stock.

  31. Lackadaisical

    I can’t believe my Bills secured AFC East. What a killer end to the year.

    • rhywun

      🤘🤘

  32. hayeksplosives

    Good morning, everyone.

    I should still be sleeping but my sleep schedule has been turned upside down lately. I’m going to attempt a brief 2 hour nap before I have to get up for work.

    Happy Monday Today probably the entire workforce at my office will leave at 4 pm pacific to go watch the NCAA football championship. Bunch of Huskies fans here.

    • The Gunslinger

      Morning HE. There’s going to be a lot of maize and blue around the office over here today.

      • UnCivilServant

        What a corny way to celebrate