Thursday Afternoon Links

by | Jan 4, 2024 | Daily Links | 160 comments

PARTY ANIMALS: White House planning ‘morale booster’ staff party to quell backlash over Israel policy. Invitation specifically says it’s non-transferable and staffers are not allowed to bring guests.

IOWA SCHOOL SHOOTER MAY HAVE BEEN GENDER-FLUID: If this pans out, the story is going to disappear. I wonder if they left a manifesto?

PLANETARY SOCIAL SYSTEM NEEDED SAY SCIENTISTS: Tackling the global climate crisis will require humans to establish a functional social system for the planet that will implement worldwide regulatory, economic and social systems that generate greater cooperation and authority than existing systems like the Paris Agreement, Waring said.

ISIS CLAIMS RESPONSIBILITY FOR IRAN BOMBING: ISIS said in a statement on its Telegram channel that it carried out Wednesday’s attack, calling the slain leader of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corp’s elite force a “hypocrite” and referring to the victims as “polytheists.”

UNPOSSIBLE: Gun-related crimes drop in Cleveland area after concealed carry law passes.

WILD KINGDOM: Since we’re having fun with wildlife biologists today, courtesy of Spudalicious comes this heart-warming tale about parachuting beavers.

FLORIDA MAN sues Dunkin’ Donuts over ‘traumatic’ toilet explosion.

 

About The Author

Tonio

Tonio

Tonio is a Glibs shitposter, linkstar (Thursday PM, yo), author, and editor. He is also a GlibZoom personality and prankster. Tonio is a big fan of pic-a-nic baskets. His hobbies include salmon fishing, territorial displays, dumpster diving, and posing for wildlife photographers.

160 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    Epstein client list main takeaway from the media – lots of names floated about, but no one did anything wrong/illegal.

    • Ted S.

      Except for Orange Man Bad, of course.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        The dead cripple guy gets thrown under the bus too.

    • The Other Kevin

      I guess he groomed dozens of girls and created a big network of powerful men so he could rape those girls himself, behind closed doors, without anyone else knowing.

      • Drake

        Listening to the Epstein podcast linked in the morning. Wow.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Something else ain’t it? It was a CIA/MI6/Mossad op.

      • Drake

        The Dutroux Affair made me want to hit everyone involved with a pickaxe.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The Belgian guy? I listened a while ago-need to relisten, some of it’s a bit fuzzy.

      • Lachowsky

        that part nearly made me sick. No wonder people buy into the Q/Pizza gate stuff.

      • Drake

        Pedo honey-traps work well on the type of sociopaths that seek power is the logical conclusion.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Whenever I think Pizzagate is just crazy talk, I remember Dutroux and think, well maybe it’s possible after all. Probably not in all the details, but something like it.

  2. Common Tater

    Glad I’m not invited.

  3. SDF-7

    White House planning ‘morale booster’ staff party

    Bring no guests… tell no one your destination… make sure you have your invitation to the Hillary Clinton Memorial Intern Processing Party well in hand….

    • Nephilium

      Is it bad that my first thought on reading morale booster staff party, I immediately thought they were going to be getting ‘vid booster?

    • The Other Kevin

      They’re going to play games like Pin the Bullet on Netanyahu.

    • creech

      Are Whites invited?

      • Sean

        Oh, fuck no! They ruin everything.

    • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

      “Bus explodes carrying White House interns.”

  4. Brochettaward

    PLANETARY SOCIAL SYSTEM NEEDED SAY SCIENTISTS: Tackling the global climate crisis will require humans to establish a functional social system for the planet that will implement worldwide regulatory, economic and social systems that generate greater cooperation and authority than existing systems like the Paris Agreement, Waring said.

    International communism has always been the most scientific system. It is known. You can’t argue with the science.

    • SDF-7

      “Fuck off, slavers” is my only response.

      • juris imprudent

        Ironic in that slavery has more global history than communism.

    • Aloysious

      Anybody have a handy helicopter?

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        Gonna need a bigger boat, erm, helicopter!

      • R C Dean

        I dunno. Pack ‘em in, and you could probably get, what, 70 commies on that thing?

  5. Common Tater

    “His social media has largely been scrubbed already, but some were able to capture screenshots and videos of his online presence before that happened.”

    Scrubbed by who, and why?

    • Brochettaward

      I think it’s become standard practice to do this to mass shooters.

      • The Last American Hero

        Unless they are wearing a MAGA hat.

    • kinnath

      There is a legitimate goal to stop feeding copycats or others that glorify mass shooters.

      And it’s great cover to make evidence disappear if the mass shooter is one of the victim classes.

      • Common Tater

        “There is a legitimate goal to stop feeding copycats or others that glorify mass shooters.”

        I’m not buying it. Mass shooting is practically an an American pastime.

  6. Certified Public Asshat

    If this pans out

    I see what you did there, I think.

    • Tonio

      No, I wasn’t trying to do anything clever there.

  7. R.J.

    Pull my finger. I’ll show you a traumatic toilet explosion.

    • Common Tater

      “Making matters worse, Kerouac claims that workers at the Orange County coffee shop conceded they were aware there were “problems with the toilet.”

      The problem was someone left a bomb in it?

  8. Common Tater

    “Since the origin of our species, humans have developed a keen ability to adapt to our environment, creating better and better technology”

    OK, so then they could adapt to climate change.

    • R.J.

      Absolutely. Technology has solved so many problems. Adapting to new weather patterns is something humans have done for thousands of years. It’s a no-brainer unless you are an addled leftist with a penchant for controlling other people’s lives.

      • rhywun

        penchant for controlling ending other people’s lives

        FTFY

      • juris imprudent

        It’s the only way to be really sure they aren’t doing what you don’t want them to do.

    • Raven Nation

      Significant problem with living in (any) bubble: scientists (and SCIENCE! supporters) always argue that people who do not have the appropriate expertise should not comment on scientific fields. If we accept that, then how can an evolutionary biologist (even a good one) have ANY claim on expounding on a governmental/bureaucratic system. That must require expertise in appropriate fields.

      Like a lot of things, this seems to have its roots in early progressivism, especially the idea that human society can be quantified and analyzed like a (pure) science field.

    • Fatty Bolger

      No, no, only global socialism can save us now. That’s science, bro.

    • Drake

      Thought you were going for a pizza-gate pedo joke.

      • Brochettaward

        I love me some cheese pizza. And that totally isn’t referring to prepubescent girls. I just like cheese pizza.

        The thing about pizza gate is that whatever they were referring to, they most definitely were t4alkinjg in code. So what was so secretive given what those clowns did put into emails that they had to develop a code to talk about it?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Drugs…it was drugs.

      • Brochettaward

        Reading the emails in context, I didn’t get the sense it was just drugs. Possible, I guess.

        But they were most definitely speaking in code, and no one “serious” would ever address it. Pizzagate wasn’t all that crazy.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yes, it was no doubt code. If we had a press that wasn’t a bunch of obsequeious and partisan scumbags they’d have looked into it. Some of the Twitter posts and other social media from the guy who owned the place and the art in the place was inappropriate as hell vis a vis the pedo stuff so I can certainly see where that idea came from. Not straight up CP but suggestive and weird.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        No, This was in regard to the White House planning ‘morale booster’ staff party

        I suppose I could have made a joke about how we now know what the cocaine was for.

    • rhywun

      How the Pizza Party Became the Symbol of Bad Bosses Everywhere

      Because work pizza is always disgusting. It’s axiomatic even when you are surrounded by great pizza.

      • R.J.

        It is. Work pizza is sad and demotivating. Lowest common denominator pizza. It’s like free coffee at work. It’s the cheapest shit that won’t poison you.

      • Name's BEAM. *James* BEAM.

        All the free coffee that was made available to me tasted like the floor sweepings from the bean sorting-and-packaging facility.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Good pizza is expensive.

        Oh, the lunches one particular boss (small office) took us all to! 🍝 😋

      • Swiss Servator

        My Swiss masters understand the importance of good coffee at work – our free stuff is pretty good.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Ix-nay on the atties-fay

    Lululemon founder and former CEO Chip Wilson criticized the company’s recent moves to expand its product line to a wider market.

    In a new interview with Forbes, Wilson, who launched the yogawear-maker in 1998 in Vancouver, British Columbia, criticized what he referred to as the company’s “whole diversity and inclusion thing.”

    Wilson also called out company ads for featuring people who he said appear “unhealthy,” “sickly” and “not inspirational.”

    “They’re trying to become like the Gap, everything to everybody,” Wilson said. “And I think the definition of a brand is that you’re not everything to everybody… You’ve got to be clear that you don’t want certain customers coming in.”

    ——-

    “Chip Wilson does not speak for Lululemon, and his comments do not reflect our company views or beliefs,” the fitness brand said. “Chip has not been involved with the company since his resignation from the board in 2015 and we are a very different company today.”

    Wilson stepped down as Lululemon chairman in 2013 amid controversial remarks regarding birth control and his support of libertarian philosopher Ayn Rand. He also said what motivated a scandal around the company’s see-through pants that year was that “some women’s bodies just actually don’t work for it.”

    Wilson’s remarks do not appear to have affected Lululemon’s stock price, which, at nearly $500 a share, currently sits at an all-time high. Wilson remains the company’s largest single shareholder, with holdings worth more than $4 billion, according to Securities and Exchange Commission data.

    Horrific exclusionaryism. And- Ayn Rand, to top it all off.

    He’s definitely an interested party. Call him an activist investor if it makes you feel any better.

    • Nephilium

      a wider market

      What was done there was seen.

      • R.J.

        “expanding the market”

      • Tres Cool

        I’ve already been in my bunk too many times this week.

      • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

        Increase the bottom line!

    • The Other Kevin

      I’m pretty sure marketing your product to every demographic and trying to please everyone isn’t a really good business strategy.

    • Sensei

      Press is also all over the fact he stated he chose the name because it was hard for Japanese women to pronounce. I’ve no idea if that’s an inside joke, but it’s not something I’d say publicly.

      If that’s case he should have called it “Squirrel”.

    • Shpip

      Folks goin’ ham in the yoga pants sector.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I always wonder what the half starved sweat shop workers think as they crank out yoga pants that a real hippo could wear. Or even worse thong underwear that has a 50″ waist.

      • R C Dean

        “SMOD, hear my prayer” would be my guess.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Invitation specifically says it’s non-transferable and staffers are not allowed to bring guests.

    “This ditch is full of dead people. Why did you bring me here?”

    • Bobarian LMD

      “You are incorrect, that ditch is not quite full. Yet.”

    • Pope Jimbo

      I had a slightly nicer dream. I was hoping it was more like one of those cop stings when they send out letters to fugitives telling them they won some Major Prize and then arrest them when they show up to collect.

      My dream was just to fire them when they showed up at the party. I guess I’m not the One True Glibertarian after reading your idea.

      • Brochettaward

        We all know who the One True Glibertarian is. The one who will not…no, cannot be ruled. The one who even the mere suggestion of being ruled is so ridiculously ludicrous that it makes everyone burst out in laughter and amusement at the very thought.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    PLANETARY SOCIAL SYSTEM NEEDED SAY SCIENTISTS: Tackling the global climate crisis will require humans to establish a functional social system for the planet that will implement worldwide regulatory, economic and social systems that generate greater cooperation and authority than existing systems like the Paris Agreement, Waring said.

    Only a global socialist dictatorship can save us.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    People are incapable of adapting to a hot climate. That’s why Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan is so much bigger than Phoenix.

    • R.J.

      Who are you, who speaks such unvarnished truths?

    • B.P.

      I’m told by reliable sources that the migrant surge is due to the Climate Crisis. Which is why all the new people wandering the streets are from places like Dubai.

      • The Other Kevin

        That’s why they’re all going to Chicago and New York. To get relief from the heat for the winter.

  13. Common Tater

    The shooter might have been, and probably was a lefty — most 17-year-olds are. I’m not seeing anything other than a cisgender male though. Lots of white kids today claim to be non-binary or whatever because being straight and white isn’t cool.

    What I’m wondering, is how did a 17-year-old get two guns? Did they belong to his parents?

    • Sean

      I’m not seeing anything other than a cisgender male though.

      You bigot.

    • Unreconstructed

      Following some Twitter links this morning, I saw claims that the shooter was a graduate of the school (and substitute teacher), not a student.

    • Pope Jimbo

      The shooter might have been, and probably was a lefty

      Why are you maligning southpaws? There is nothing in that story that you could use to figure out that the kid wasn’t right-handed.

      • Ted S.

        To be fair, they’re sinister.

      • Fourscore

        I am not, I don’t have a sister.

  14. R.J.

    I didn’t expect ISIS to be behind the Iran bombing. That is a surprise twist.

    • Name's BEAM. *James* BEAM.

      ISIS, according to some sources, is supposedly a creation of Saudi Arabia and Israel working in concert over the years.

      “It’s the Jooz, all the way down!”

      • R.J.

        We know how the Saudis love Israel.

      • juris imprudent

        The Wahhabis are the Puritans of Sunni Islam.

      • Tres Cool

        I thought that was the spicy japanese thing….never mind

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Public Enemy Number One

    The U.S. National Labor Relations Board has filed a complaint against SpaceX, alleging that Elon Musk’s defense contractor illegally fired eight employees after they wrote an open letter critical of Musk and accused the workplace of being selectively permissive of sexual harassment.

    ——-

    In their open letter, the SpaceX employees wrote that Musk’s “behavior in the public sphere is a frequent source of distraction and embarrassment for us.” They wrote that his divisive posts on social media, as well as alleged sexual misconduct on his part, went against SpaceX’s own “no ass—-s” and “zero tolerance” policies.

    ——-

    After the then-SpaceX employees penned the open letter, the NLRB found that company management engaged in “interrogation” of the authors and “made coercive statements” to them, including “inviting” the employees to “quit if they disagreed with the behavior of Chief Executive Officer Elon Musk.” Eventually, the NLRB complaint says, SpaceX illegally fired those employees over the protected speech.

    “there’s the door” is totally hate speech.

    • R.J.

      OK. Now a bunch more morons self-select for termination. Texas is a fire at will state. It’s not California.

      • Spudalicious

        SpaceX is a federal contractor. Different rules.

  16. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Hi Tonio!

  17. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    I live in SC, and there’s snow in the forecast!!!! Woot!

    • Drake

      Saturday maybe?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Get your skis ready.

    • Name's BEAM. *James* BEAM.

      There’s snow in our forecast too, just before the temperature’s predicted to drop to -26° Celsius (approx. -15° Fahrenheit).

      Just as I was starting to get used to our catastrophic global warming, it’s lettin’ me down, man . . .

  18. The Other Kevin

    The youngest TOK kid is over the moon. Her boyfriend graduated from Navy boot camp and she got to go with his family to see the ceremony and spend a few days with him. Today was the first she’s seen him in about three months. We got to watch the ceremony online. About 800 graduates, but we did see him. I’m proud of the kid, he did really well and seems to be taking to military life.

    • Tres Cool

      …thats a lot of seamen!

      • Lackadaisical

        Three months will do that.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Too bad the boyfriend’s parents weren’t married. He could have been a Marine instead.

      What is his MOS going to be?

      • Tres Cool

        Ya know, instead of Army I had hoped to go Marine.

        But my head didn’t fit in the jar.

    • The Other Kevin

      I’m enjoying watching the strain on party loyalty. In a sane world they’d sue Biden and Myorkas.

    • juris imprudent

      Now if they can just get it into Judge Engoron’s courtroom.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I LOVE the idea. I hope it holds up.

      If it does, Abbott should sue all the NGO’s who are aiding the migrant caravans. “You didn’t plan on how to support them when they got here”.

    • Lackadaisical

      It’s funny watching these racists in New York rejecting diversity.

    • Sensei

      Those comments, from Edison Mayor Sam Joshi, stunned New Jersey immigrant advocates. Joshi, a Democrat, told Good Day New York he has a charter bus on standby that would take migrants “straight back to the other side of the border” if they stayed in Edison, one of the largest towns in the state and one where 45% of the population is foreign-born. Joshi is also the son of immigrants.

      “I want to make it clear that our position here in Edison Township is that they’re not welcome here, they are illegal, and they belong on the other side of the border,” Joshi later told News 12.

      https://newjerseymonitor.com/2024/01/04/immigrant-advocates-alarmed-at-comments-directed-at-migrants-dropped-off-in-new-jersey/

  19. Mojeaux

    I’ve got an OCD dilemma on my current ebook formatting project. I’ve asked my husband, but I’m still not sure.

    Book was written in 1999. It has 80 pages of single-spaced, small-print, math-laden endnotes I’ve carefully formatted. The citations are in the hundreds. I’ve checked the very few (remember, 1999) links for veracity (narrator: none is valid).

    Now, what I usually will do for a client is look up their citations to make sure the links are correct. In this case, though, my OCD is like, “Well, look up all the cites and link them. It WAS 1999, after all, and those things are likely online now and they are SUPER relevant.” But the cites are just BONKERS.

    I just don’t know what to do. I didn’t anticipate this in my quote, so client is not expecting it, and it’s hours’ worth of work, but I feel like I should because it’s super relevant and will be incomplete otherwise, but I don’t want to.

    Mind you, this is all me-driven. This is not the client wanting something for free.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Could you provide the option to the client and quote them a price?

      • Mojeaux

        I have a call in to him. I’m going to first ask if he cares. It’s an ebook, so links are more helpful than a straight cite.

      • juris imprudent

        The problem is all links are tenuous. I would guess you would finish and submit it and shortly thereafter at least a few would go dead.

    • Sensei

      Don’t know if it opens Pandora’s box, but bring it up to the client and ask if they’d like it priced out.

    • Tres Cool

      Just make some shit up, publish it, and apply to be president at Harvard.

      *Protip- get really, really, tan first. See also: Rachel Dolezal

  20. R.J.

    Dear TPTB: Tonight’s film, “Espionage in Tangiers, is still pending. I have begun rocking back-and-forth. SMITH is out there. All hairy and looking in the window. He held up a pine cone a minute ago and pointed at me.

    • Mojeaux

      Done.

      • R.J.

        Thank you!

  21. Tres Cool

    Pretty sure I saw Parachuting Beavers open for the Indigo Girls. Or maybe it was L7.

    • Common Tater

      L7 played a club I managed. They were assholes.

      • Tres Cool

        I think you mentioned that before. And I can totally see it, too.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    I impulse bought some frozen crab cakes the other day. Just ate a couple. Hardly what you’d get at the Maryland shore, but a tasty snack nonetheless. Plenty of crab in them, too, fortunately. I was sort of expecting corn fritters with trace amounts of shellfish.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Surprise

    President Javier Milei suffered a judicial blow Wednesday as a court suspended labor rule changes he recently announced as part of sweeping deregulation and austerity measures aimed at reviving Argentina’s struggling economy.

    The ruling by a three-judge court came on a legal challenge brought by the main union group, the General Labor Confederation, which argued that the changes affected workers rights.

    Milei’s decree announced in December established several changes in labor rules, including increasing job probation from three to eight months, reducing severance compensation and allowing the possibility of dismissal for workers taking part of blockades during some protests.

    ——-

    The union confederation applauded the court, saying the decision “puts a stop to the regressive and anti-worker labor reform.”

    Labor activists have questioned whether Milei, a self-described anarcho-capitalist who has long railed against the country’s “political caste,” can impose the measures using emergency decree bypass the legislature.

    On Dec. 20, a few days after taking office as the new president, Milei announced sweeping initiatives to transform Argentina’s economy, including easing government regulation and allowing privatization of state-run industries. The libertarian economist made about 300 changes.

    Why change? They were doing so well.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I’d imagine he has some sort of Plan B. The courts down there are as rotten as the ones up here and the man’s not an idiot.

  24. Ted S.

    Glynis Johns, 1923-2024

    If you watched All Mine to Give on TCM over Christmas, Johns played the doomed mother of the kids who become orphans. Very early in her career, she played a Hutterite with a reason to hate Nazis in Powell and Pressburger’s 49th Parallel.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      She was rude to my relative (who tries to behave) a few decades ago.

      • Ted S.

        Way to hold a grudge. :-p

      • Pope Jimbo

        What did she do? Close the blinds on her bedroom windows while your relative was hiding in the bushes? That is rude!

  25. Aloysious

    I, for one, did not know that animal biologists did the anal probing.

    I thought only aliens did it.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I blame it on the poor state of journalism.

      The journalos today just won’t ask the probing questions we all want the answers to.

  26. Pope Jimbo

    I honestly don’t know what to quote of this overview of Minnesoda mass transit by someone who I think is fairly intelligent. The problem is that he has so much invested in mass transit he can’t simply admit that the entire system is fucked and should just be scrapped.

    Maybe this?:

    Pre-COVID, light-rail trains (LRT) were carrying one of every three riders on the transit system. The trains are fast and reliable. They can knit the whole transit system together. They still could if crime, homelessness and anti-social behavior can be controlled.

    Politicians who have no technical understanding have blithely suggested enclosing the stations to control access. Consider for a moment what that requires. Every station would have to be completely surrounded with fences. That includes gates across the tracks that would have to open and close with the arrival and departure of every train. This has never been done before anywhere. Would the track gates stand up to that level of use? It would only take a single failure to tie up the line.

    Though I don’t support it, free fares on LRT would be the better alternative. In the end, enforcement is the only solution to fare evasion, crime and anti-social behavior on the trains.

    Maybe just get rid of public transport entirely? Shouldn’t we be keeping the Poors from polluting Gaia anyhow?

    • Pope Jimbo

      There has been a national movement to advocate for making transit free. Should it be done here? There are arguments on both sides.

      Pro: Free fares increase ridership, no question. They also eliminate fare disputes that result in assaults on bus drivers.
      Con: Metro Transit spends a lot of money administering the fare system, but their staff tell me that the revenue far exceeds the cost to collect fares. Fare evasion is a clear-cut crime. Policing it is a convenient way to discourage the criminals, regulate the homeless and reduce anti-social behavior. Without it the police need to build individual criminal cases for every offense.

  27. Aloysious

    Did Spud make a crack about free-range beavers?

    Because they might give you beaver fever.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe just get rid of public transport entirely? Shouldn’t we be keeping the Poors from polluting Gaia anyhow?

    Deregulate private transit. Bring back jitneys.

  29. Homple

    “Idaho Fish and Game has always struggled with problem beavers….”

    Idaho Fish and Game is not alone.

    • Lackadaisical

      All the beavers I’ve met have been pretty accommodating, once you introduce yourself properly.

      • Tres Cool

        “buy you a drink?”

  30. Pope Jimbo

    What is gender fluid in Iowa? Someone who uses corn and/or wheat in their masturbatory activities?

    • Ted S.

      Q: Why doesn’t Iowa have a professional football team?
      A: Because then Minnesota would want one, too.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Why is the Minnesoda/Iowa border so windy?

        Because Minnesoda sucks and Iowa blows!

      • Pope Jimbo

        Why was Iowa the first Big 10 team to adopt artificial turf on their football field?

        To keep the cheerleaders from grazing

      • whiz

        As an Iowan who loves a good joke at Minnesota’s expense (and as I’ve pointed out before), Iowa does have a pro football team: the Iowa Barnstormers of the Indoor Football League!

    • Homple

      What is gender fluid in Iowa?

      Probably not Cornhuskers Lotion.

  31. Pope Jimbo

    Why does this make me think that all the stories about Downtown Minneapolis are BS?

    A liquidation auction is underway marking Target Corp.’s exit from downtown Minneapolis’ City Center.

    “This auction presents a bonanza of office furniture and equipment, from workstations and cubicles to conference tables, appliances, and more,” writes Grafe Auction Company, which advertises “unbeatable prices as Target’s downtown era comes to an end.”

    Target announced in the spring of 2021 it would depart the downtown Minneapolis skyscraper, where the company leased nearly 1 million-square-feet of space for its corporate offices.

    • Lackadaisical

      ” 1 million-square-feet”

      Yeah, that’s gonna hurt.. More so when all the execs and such stop spending downtown. Winston’s Mom hardest hit.

      • Pope Jimbo

        There are tons of local stories about how the retail shops/restaurants/coffee shops downtown cannot make a buck anymore because no one is working there.

        But the Star and Tribune keeps banging the “Downtown is coming back” drum. The dirty secret is that the paper owns a lot of property in downtown (not as much after they sold a big chunk to the state to build the Vikings stadium that they were totes for). They don’t want to see the value of that property crater.

      • B.P.

        The same drum that the White House is pounding on regarding the wonderful state of the economy.

  32. Brochettaward

    all this Firsting is making me thirsty.

    • Tres Cool

      You’ve always acted like a thot.

  33. Drake

    My complaint of the day. I go on the Palmetto State Armory website to look at prices and availability of their ammo.

    Hey this looks good, I’ll go there after work and pick some up.
    https://palmettostatearmory.com/aac-5-56-nato-55gr-fmj-ammunition-20rd-box.html
    Every time for the past couple of months, what I want is out of stock despite what the store info on the website says.

  34. Lackadaisical

    My wife lived in Perry for 6 months and I’ve visited for a week or so. What a bunch of shit. 🙁

  35. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Huh, The Krassensteins from Twitter are debating Glenn Greenwald and Alex Jones (weird pairing, if you’d told me that was possible five years ago I would have called you nuts) over at Zerohedge at 1900 tonight over Jan 6th. Should be interesting.

    • B.P.

      Glenn Greenwald steamrolls the Krassensteins while they try to interject with a few flaccid one-liners. Alex Jones says something completely absurd that turns out to be true six months later. Everyone feels dirty.

  36. Pope Jimbo

    You crazy anti-govt Glibs think you are so smart. Probably would make fun of our highly paid transportation engineers and their latest mistake.

    If you were driving on the highways around Christmas, you probably noticed it was rainy and dark.

    The darkness made many question their eyesight because the road markings were difficult to see.

    Roadwork, just like any other project, is a work in progress.

    “As we fixed one problem, we had another come up,” said Ethan Peterson who works as a pavement markings and crashworthiness engineer at MnDOT.

    Peterson said the hard-to-see markings came from trying to solve another problem.

    “We tend to recess our pavement markings so we kind of create a trough for the water to go into,” Peterson said. “Recessing came from the need to protect our pavement markings from snow plows.”

    Pavement markings are filled with reflective materials, which are just glass beads that are designed to refract car headlights at just the right angle to have them shine back at the driver. Now add water to the trough the markings sit on, then the markings have a harder time doing their job.

    “The problem with wet weather, when water covers that is that you add another media, another substance that the light has to refract through,” Peterson said. “So it changes the path of the light and it doesn’t hit your eyes like it should. It disperses and it goes in a different direction, and you just lose the optic altogether.”

    Sure it is easy to mock them, but how many of you smart guys would have thought to test such an outlier of a situation? “Rainy roads at night”. C’mon Jack, who could have predicted that scenario?

    • R.J.

      Look, it’s easy to fix. Just give them $12 million dollars. I don’t know what the complaint is.

    • Plinker762

      It’s cutting edge technology! (not)

    • Lackadaisical

      Had to get like 7 paragraphs in to get to the story that should have been in the first line.

    • Grumbletarian

      Let’s do it. Biden would be out as well as most of Washington.

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        I’ll be in my bunk

      • Ownbestenemy

        As most of…everyone. To think there is some original thought, especially about *checks notes* Down’s syndrome and a description of it? That could have been Clinton uttering those words and Id call bullshit.

  37. westernsloper

    ISIS CLAIMS RESPONSIBILITY FOR IRAN BOMBING:

    Makes sense since the CIA created and armed ISIS. (and probably still are)