“I don’t know why I’m driving,” Donald said. “I never drive myself. And why am I driving a Subaru? It’s made in Chyna.”
“It’s made in Japan, Donald,” the hair said, styled majestically, like an eagle swooping down on hapless prey.
“Probably still loaded in germs,” Donald said, taking his hands off the wheel to wipe them on his suit jacket.
“STEVE SMITH WANT KNOW WHY STEVE SMITH HAVE SIT BACKSEAT,” STEVE SMITH growled.
“Because I ride up front,” Warty Hugeman rumbled, his voice like boulders cracking. The matte black time suit crackled with energy in agreement. “Gigantopithecines ride in the back with the rest of the animals.”
“Was that directed at me?” Hillary asked, gnawing the last bit of meat from the femur she was holding.
“In a thousand years, people regard you as little better than the Countess Báthori of non-consensual suicide,” Warty said.
“Countess?” Hillary scoffed. “I’m a fucking Queen.” The femur cracked like a rifle report. Greedy sucking noises began as she went after the marrow.
“Cannibalism doesn’t shock me,” Warty said. “I’ve eaten my enemies across a billion years.”
STEVE SMITH chuffed and crossed his dangling arms. “STEVE SMITH RAPE HUMANS MORE THAN THAT.”
“I’ve never raped anyone,” Donald said. “Women just give it up when you’re famous. E. Jean begged me to fuck her ancient gash. It was like fingering a rotten avocado.”
The hat laughed from where he sat on the dashboard. “You tell ‘em, Donald. It was pure bullshit that they didn’t let me testify at your trial.”
“Will you people be quiet?” Hunter meanded loudly from where he was nestled into STEVE SMITH’s cavernous armpit. “I’m trying to OD back here.”
“Shut up, junkie,” Hillary and Donald said simultaneously.
“Jinx!” Donald yelled. “You owe me a Diet Coke!”
“STEVE SMITH LIKE COKE ZERO BETTER MORE,” STEVE SMITH said. Hunter sighed contentedly.
“I love you, Steve Smith,” Cracky said from Hunter’s jock-strap.
“You brought that goddamn thing?” the hat asked.
“I have just as much right as anyone else to be in this crossover event,” Cracky said indignantly.
Hillary rolled down her window and tossed the two ends of the femur out into the endless desert they were crossing. She pulled a loop of intestines from the bucket of gore between her feet and began feeding into her mouth like a lumpy Fruit Roll-Up.
“Is there a butthole in the bucket?” Hunter asked. “I’m bored.”
“You could have married Chelsea and sealed the breach in the bloodlines,” Hillary said, spitting out a hyoid bone.
“Ew. I may fuck hookers and strippers and cousins and nieces and crack-whores I find behind dumpsters, but I do have some standards, you know.”
STEVE SMITH laughed. Donald joined him because he felt no one had paid attention to him in too long. The hair purred and kneaded his scalp.
“You want some?” Hillary asked STEVE SMITH, holding a particularly succulent iliac crest out to him.
“HUMAN GIVE STEVE SMITH GAS,” STEVE SMITH said.
“Now I’m hungry,” Donald said.
Cracky said, “I could eat.”
“Find a place, Donald,” the hat said. “I need to take a shit.”
“There’s never a McDonald’s when you need one,” Donald said.
Up front, Warty Hugeman began to dematerialize and then snapped back into solidity. Trapped, he thought. Trapped in hell. Plaything of a malevolent Demiurge. He growled and began to program Doomcock 3.6 for self-destruct.
Hmm…if only I had the day off there would be art in a bit.
breach in the bloodlines
You’d normally think Atreides and Harkonnen, but in this ‘verse it must be Harkonnen and something worse.
Harkonnen and Harpy-Conan.
“Shut up, junkie,” Hillary and Donald said simultaneously.
Bipartisan consensus!
“Ew. I may fuck hookers and strippers and cousins and nieces and crack-whores I find behind dumpsters, but I do have some standards, you know.”
Boom.
Are they headed for a meet-up with Putin?
*chef’s kiss*
“STEVE SMITH LIKE COKE ZERO BETTER MORE,” STEVE SMITH said.
The things I learned today!
Hunter only likes real Coke.
Or Coke Classic, as it were.
What happened to DoomCock 3.5?
Glitchy. It use to fire off in the time suit all the time.
Sounds like a sticky situation.
Prematurely?
I realize to my horror I can never unsee this.
I mark this day and time as the true beginning of my descent into madness….
No way home from this.
Thus begins the Sugarverse.
Speaking of the Sugarverse….
Llorona Fire Vocalist After He Reportedly Admits to Dosing Bandmate With Estrogen to Steal His Fiancee
Read More: Hardcore Band Fires Singer After He Dosed Bandmate With Estrogen | https://loudwire.com/llorona-fire-vocalist-reportedly-admits-dosing-bandmate-estrogen-steal-fiancee/?utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral
, “He has been attempting to force a transition onto him for the last 5 months, in hopes that would give him the opportunity to ‘swoop in’ once he looked stronger and more manly in comparison.
As I was leaving the restaurant, the speaker was playing, “You can’t hurry love; no, you just have to wait. Love don’t come easy; it’s a game of five and take…”
I had to go find pictures. This SUN article shows the singer and the dosee. They all look like they are transitioning. They do not qualify as a hardcore band:
https://www.the-sun.com/news/10509352/llorona-singer-fired-protein-powder-estrogen-steal-fiancee/
You’re not kidding. Couple of soy-boys, at best.
Holy shit!
That is more screwed up than this crossover.
If someone did that to me she’d be available because I’d be indisposed on account of a murder rap.
Very hard to convict when the body is never found.
Directed by Mike Judge and Starring Sam Neill, it’s a cross over of In the Mouth of Madness, Event Horizon and Idiocracy!
Probably produced by Harvey Weinstein.
Who was also cast to play Hillary Clinton. It was hell finding enough Velcro.
Seems plausible.
YAAAAASSSSS QUEEEEEN!!!
“SLAY!!”
I was doing badass strong female character before it was cool. I’m so over it now and various iterations just annoy the shit out of me. Maybe it’s because I’ve got this here onion strapped to my belt.
You go girl! *snaps *
Oh my god
☝️
I got overconfident and was eating lunch while reading until I got there.
Oh my gods
Those two absolutely made me chuckle. The first because well, who hasn’t fingered a rotten avocado and the second cause its funny as hell.
Yeah, that’s something right there.
I will admit, that got me in the pit of mystomach.
Y U so stoopid, America?
To use political jargon, Nikki Haley—who has lost primary contests in Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, and her home state of South Carolina—does not have a snow ball’s chance in hell of winning the GOP nomination for president. Still, she is apparently intent on not going down without a fight, and to that end, the former governor has a message for voters: Anyone who votes for Donald Trump has a death wish for America.
Speaking to The Wall Street Journal, Haley said that while her opponent may be running for reelection “to pay his legal fees and get out of some sort of legal peril,” the idea of making him the party’s nominee “is like suicide for our country.” Seemingly making a Titanic reference, in which America is the boat and Trump is the iceberg, she also told the outlet: “You have to see the hole in the ship. And if you don’t see the hole in the ship, we’re all going to go down.”
Fuck off, you deluded megalomaniacal loser.
Seeing the hole means you’ve already struck the iceberg. Dumb horsetoothed warwhore bitch can’t even do metaphors right.
My tinfoil hat whispered to me that Nikki was staying in the race to drain democrat donor funding and make it easier for Donald….
No, she’s staying in the race in the hope that the Dem’s lawfare manages to disqualify Trump so she can swoop in and take the nomination.
I’ll write in a dead McCain before voting for Nikki.
I’d vote for RFK long before neo-con Nikki.
That’s how I see it as well.
She needs to keep the campaign apparatus in place if even she is losing primaries and bleeding money.
And Brooks nails it down below.
“A vote for Trump is a vote for Death (by suicide)!”
“A vote for Haley is a vote for War!”
“A vote for Biden is a vote for Plague and Famine!”
Yep.
It’s a losing proposition. She would lose by a landslide in the general if she replaced Trump. If she fortified her way to a win somehow, she’d inherit a constitutional crisis that would make Lincoln blush.
I think she’s prepping for a 3rd party run on a centrist (3rd wave) feminist platform. She thinks she has a coalition between the never Trumpers, GOP women, TERFs, neo-cons, and moderates. She doesn’t realize how much overlap exists in her “coalition”. This is going to end disastrously for her if she thinks she actually has a chance. It could be that she’s taking one for the team in the expectation that she’ll give Biden (or his replacement) the win in the general by siphoning just enough support from Trump.
The ‘No Labels’ crowd is supposedly interested. If we jumps ship and goes that route she will fall off into obscurity.
That’s why I’m wondering if she’s not bought and paid for by the D’s. A little insurance policy in case they need to siphon a few hundred thousand votes from the Don in a battleground state or three.
Will she actually draw voters from Trump, or will she draw them from Biden?
I can’t see her significantly drawing from the left short of coming out strongly pro-abortion, and that would nuke her coalition.
All of these “death of America”-types seem to believe that Americans are unaware that they lived through a Trump presidency before, and it was no worse than right now.
During Trump’s presidency youngling #3 had a really good friend that was most likely illegal. Well, not the kids, they were born here. Family was great, mom worked multiple jobs, dad ran his own business…and one day youngling came home claiming he will lose his best friend cause Trump was going to come around and round them up.
We had a good lesson on such things that day. No one was rounded up, their businesses were flourishing and not a single person in our orbit looked at them any differently when OMB was in office. Its all smoke and mirrors and a large subset of the population are lost in it.
Its all smoke and mirrors and a large subset of the population are lost in it.
Human beings have a large and remarkable capacity for deluding themselves.
Now, this is the Sugarfree of old. Bringing in the new faces and the same-o feces. Great stuff and right before lunch.
Not sure how you do it but I need to rest for awhile before I go to eat.
Same feces, different day.
Fantastic crossover episode!
I wonder if Hillary was eating the remains of McConnell…
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/mitch-mcconnell-longest-serving-senate-leader-us-history-step-down-november
Good riddance you feckless POS.
Somebody went in and down voted every negative comment. Amazing. The Chinese really are upset that he’s leaving.
— “HUMAN GIVE STEVE SMITH GAS,”
Heard in the voice of Morbo.
That’s characterization, right there.
My tinfoil hat whispered to me that Nikki was staying in the race to drain democrat donor funding and make it easier for Donald….
I find it much easier to assume she hates Trump because he isn’t on board the Davos/UN/globalism train. And she thinks Americans are stupid and in dire need of firm motherly guidance.
You are probably right.
Still, she is having the unintentional effect of draining millions of democrat and globalist funds. This is pleasing. They will all run out of money sooner or later.
“That would be true if we were using our money” /dems and globalist funders as they draft another bill for some country to pass.
Biden is getting his annual check-up.
“We did a brain scan and found nothing.”
So, no problems found?
No, no brain found.
Oh great, they’re including the cognitive test they ABSOLUTELY INSISTED Trump take, right?
The Presidential Cognitive Test. Supplies are limited.
Wow! That looks complicated.
/Asks for more time
Mitch McConnell stepping down as Senate GOP leader, ending historic 17-year run
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell announced he’s stepping down as the upper chamber’s GOP leader later this year, ending a 17-year run that made him the longest-serving party leader in Senate history and often the most powerful Republican in Washington.
In his floor speech, McConnell said he plans to remain in his post until his party selects a new leader, who would be elected in November and take the helm in 2025. He said he plans to stay in the Senate to “finish the job” that the people of Kentucky elected him to do, suggesting that he’ll remain in the chamber until his term expires in 2026.
“finish the job”
BY FINISH MEAN….
DESTROY NATION.
39 years in the Senate, but he just needs a few more years to finish the job.
I love how he’s minority leader when there are more actual Republicans than actual Democrats.
He understands his role perfectly.
Speaking of Haley- I skimmed over some article earlier, the primary thrust of which appeared to be that she needs to stay in until the convention so she can use some sort of rules trickery to snatch the nomination away from Bad Orange Bully and save the party and America.
Save the party / destroy the party – either way.
Destroy it to save it – that’s a venerable American tradition.
Listened to Brian Kilmeade’s radio show this morning while I was trapped on the interstate for 90 minutes. He said he thought Nikki Haley was a good candidate, which told me I haven’t missed anything not listening to him before today. 🙄
I miss Neal Boortz. 😞
Ive grown to like my guy on 550am, Brian Thomas. “he Brian Thomas Morning Show covers news and politics, both local and national, from a libertarian point of view.” From what I have heard, it is not just a label he slapped on. I do however Boortz.
Thanks. Don’t know if I can pull that station in, but if not I’ll see if they stream online.
How long have you been Boortzing?
I think I found him in 2010 so near the end of his run.
Found the station’s site and found some news I hadn’t heard – just a little thank-you gift from Hunter? https://55krc.iheart.com/content/2024-02-28-white-powder-spills-out-of-envelope-addressed-to-judge-in-trump-case/
I think she’s prepping for a 3rd party run on a centrist (3rd wave) feminist platform. She thinks she has a coalition between the never Trumpers, GOP women, TERFs, neo-cons, and moderates.
Why did the term circular firing squad immediately jump into my head?
The obvious reason behind Trump’s undying political strength is somehow still dumbfounding ignorant Big Media elites
But Krugman, an economist, quickly adds, “I still don’t get the politics” of rural Americans, and later writes, “I still find it hard to understand” recent voting patterns.
Willful ignorance is the only way to explain his bizarre claims, which include that New York is a “relatively safe” city compared to the “hellscapes” of rural America.
He also ridicules the idea that illegal immigration, wokeness and the deep state are real problems, blaming nearly every rural ill on technology.
He concludes by declaring that white rural rage is “arguably the single greatest threat facing American democracy.”
There you have it, a naked display of the know-nothing cosseted class.
Tell Krugman to stay out of Iowa. It’s too dangerous.
Willful ignorance is the only way to explain his bizarre claims, which include that New York is a “relatively safe” city compared to the “hellscapes” of rural America.
A few observations from a guy who moved from a “relatively safe” city to a “hellscape”.
-People around here don’t have as much, but they are much more giving of what they have.
-Lack of technology isn’t a thing. I’m in one of the few pockets of the region that doesn’t have fiber internet, and that’s just because of a weirdness in how the electrical co-ops and county lines overlap. Starlink works just fine in its stead, TYVM.
-Lack of access to conveniences isn’t really a thing either. Amazon delivers out here just as easily as in the city. People just don’t have the disposable income here to spend on social signaling through fashion and gadgets like they do in the ‘burbs.
-Yeah, there are druggies here, just like anywhere else. Generally, they’re not much of a problem aside from the occasional break in. The crime rate here is substantially lower than in the suburb we came from.
-The most dangerous thing to be around here is a skunk. They’re stacked up on the side of the road around here. Meanwhile, it makes the newspaper when somebody dies in a car wreck because there is so little death and crime in the area.
Sounds horrible. Almost as bad as Iowa. Although, we did actually get fiber internet a year ago.
I keep hearing rumors of us getting fiber, and they painted the road up for some utility installation recently, but I’ll believe it when I see it.
You know, same here. Only gunfire I have heard are good ol’ boys out on the farm.
You drive what you drive to get from point A to B, if its new, great, if not, keep it running.
Sure we have fiber and all that, but I am not sure if I can point out if there are any houses with more cameras than a Vegas casino (unlike in Nevada, where our neighbors might as well just provide us security themselves)
20 minutes to any type of shopping center that is larger than a corner market but littered with little ‘home goods stores’ at peoples’ homes.
I have been here 6 months I have finally saw a quota night (speed enforcement on the roads) with the local sheriff, before that, saw one person actually pulled over. Whereas in Vegas, its was all over the place.
Krug doesn’t yet understand the power of a good “Fuck You”.
The book referenced by Krugman in his opinion piece is even better.
In White Rural Rage, Tom Schaller and Paul Waldman explore why rural Whites have failed to reap the benefits from their outsize political power and why, as a result, they are the most likely group to abandon democratic norms and traditions. Their rage—stoked daily by Republican politicians and the conservative media—now poses an existential threat to the United States.
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/734507/white-rural-rage-by-tom-schaller-and-paul-waldman/
Home at last. We landed in Anchorage a few minutes before midnight, reclaimed our bag and truck, drove up the Valley, and got home at 2 AM.
I promised Swiss I’d write up a retrospective on CPAC 2024, and I’ll get that done, as soon as I get my mind working right again.
So, it’ll be a while?
/snark
Again?
I extend the benefit of the doubt that at some point it was in fact working right.
Welcome home Animal.
my mind working right again
So appropriate to make that comment on this post.
I’d like to see that write-up.
I promised Swiss I’d write up a retrospective on CPAC 2024, and I’ll get that done, as soon as I get my mind working right again.
You can just recycle Time Magazine’s coverage of the Nuremberg Rally.
Biden already rebooted that franchise.
Nah, there was more to it than just Trump’s speech.
You threw your underwear at Milei didn’t you?
Wait, bears wear underwear? I’ve been lied to my entire life.
Only on special occasions.
Sugarverse?
Doesn’t that hit glucose to home?
Now, that is a type 2 pun. Do better.
Maybe a more metered approach would work…
Swiss won’t tolerate this insulinse.
His gaze will iron out your pancreases.
A hypographical error, that’s all.
That’s why I’m wondering if she’s not bought and paid for by the D’s. A little insurance policy in case they need to siphon a few hundred thousand votes from the Don in a battleground state or three.
Politics- demolition derby, or figure-eight racing?
My problem with the “Haley swoops in” idea is
a) Trump would have to be literally dead. Imprisoned, Trump is still running and might very well have a better chance of winning.
b) The other candidates have “suspended” their campaigns and in the event of a Trumpenmort, they’d reactivate them. Nikki has so much bad blood she couldn’t win.
c) In the event that OMB dies after the convention, the VP would move to the top of the ticket.
d) If Trump dies between the primaries and the convention, I don’t think that the eGOP has enough people in place to take it over from the trumpalos.
That is why I think she is there as a sink for opponent’s money. Makes some sense if you think about it. Trump at one point appointed Nikki Haley as ambassador to the U.N. in 2017. She is not an absolute enemy of his, even though she has definitely spoken against him in political campaigns starting in 2016. We may never know why she keeps plowing ahead. As easy as it is to say “she’s an absolute idiot” there clearly is some background reason for continuing to take this punishment. I don’t buy that she thinks she has a chance at the end of the day. That is not the reason she keeps going.
The GOP would rather lose to Biden than have to really deal with Trump again. He’s poisonous to their grift.
Plus, he didn’t have long coattails in recent elections.
In 2020, the Pubs picked up seats in the US House, in various state legislatures, and various governor’s mansions. It was a red wave election that somehow the head of the ticket did not win.
It wasn’t exactly a red wave becaus everyone that was strongly MAGA underperformed. That brand is or was completely toxic.
The positive news is that Biden seems to be equally unpopular with Democrats. Although you worry collectivists will pull it together when it matters.
Trump is the biggest establishment grifter on the planet right now campaigning with Lindsey fucking Graham.
Unless Trump is a corpse, he’s their nominee. And even then maybe.
Not that I believe it, but wasn’t she given the UN position so McMasters can stroll into the Gov seat? Could all be BS and I ain’t making no excuses for Trump picking her except he at least put her in the most useless ambassadorship except for a small backfire — all the connections that come with such an appointment.
I mean I guess you could look at 100 other Trump hirings as well.
If you’re trying to argue I should pick Trump over Biden I’m in.
If you’re trying to argue that Trump isn’t a fat moron who sucks I’m out.
Yeah it would not happen. I agree,
And DeSantis was only running for one primary and he finished ahead of Haley in it,
Remember when Berkeley was the home of free speech? Yeah, me neither. https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/pro-palestinian-protesters-shut-event-organized-18692693.php
“Bears for Palestine”
#White courtesy phone for Tonio, Tonio come to the phone…
Gross government incompetence on display
Idaho on Wednesday delayed the execution of serial killer Thomas Eugene Creech, one of the longest-serving death row inmates in the U.S., after a failed attempt at lethal injection.
Creech, 73, was imprisoned in 1974 and has been convicted of five murders in three states and suspected of several more. He was already serving life in prison when he beat a fellow inmate, 22-year-old David Dale Jensen, to death in 1981 — the crime for which Creech was to be executed more than four decades later.
Creech was wheeled into the room at the Idaho Maximum Security Institution on a gurney at 10 a.m. The warden announced he was halting the execution at 10:58 a.m.
——-
Idaho’s prison director said the medical team could not establish an IV line to administer the fatal drug. A team of three medical team members tried repeatedly to establish an IV, attempting sites in both of Creech’s arms and legs.
Get a big nitrogen bottle; mix in a little nitrous oxide if it makes you feel better.
Again- I’m not even in favor of government revenge murder, but for fuck’s sake, stop clowning around.
Can’t they hire Trudeau as a consultant on assisted suicide?
Beat me to it. Canada seems to be able to efficiently euthanize people.
For guys like this, I wouldn’t care if they brought back old sparky.
With each of the attempts to insert an IV, the medical team would clean the skin with alcohol, inject a numbing solution, clean the skin again and then attempt to successfully place the IV catheter in a vein. Each attempt took several minutes, with medical team members palpating the skin around the IV site and looking closely while trying to position the needles.
You wouldn’t want the poor guy to get an infection, or die of blood poisoning.
You at least want to hit a vein.
Just a massive does of heroin. I’m sure they have lots of it locked in cages around the state.
Alternatively
I’ve heard the fentanyl is cheap, go find a newly arrived Mexican.
I don’t buy that she thinks she has a chance at the end of the day. That is not the reason she keeps going.
She’s a martyr for democracy. They all want to be Joan of Arc at the stake.
I came into the morning thread too late comment.
But someone had questioned why Wade’s business partner continued to testify on behalf of Willis and Wade after they through him under the bus.
Viva Frei noted yesterday, that the state made it clear the first day that he testified that they knew about his alleged sexual assault of a company employee that he paid $20K in compensation as he was exiting the company.
Viva Frei speculates that he has been warned he will be prosecuted for that sexual assault if he does not play nice.
The process is the punishment.
Came across this video last night, shows the cops at the Lakewood Church hiding while the gun battle was ongoing. Apparently they took the wrong lesson from Uvalde.
https://youtu.be/zLGkRnnyEhA?si=2tomoCCUCTlUTfs4
What wrong lesson – all of the cops made it home safely at the end of the day. Is there some other thing that matters more?
Well, can’t argue with that. Also – goes to show you alone are responsible for your safety, stay strapped.
That is an eternal lesson. Your safety is your responsibility and no one else’s.
Another lesson is that making jokes like “Joel Osteen’s teeth deflected the bullets” is a line too far for our Babylon Bee mole to lift.
“Ew. I may fuck hookers and strippers and cousins and nieces and crack-whores I find behind dumpsters, but I do have some standards, you know.”
Ouch
In White Rural Rage, Tom Schaller and Paul Waldman explore why rural Whites have failed to reap the benefits from their outsize political power and why, as a result, they are the most likely group to abandon democratic norms and traditions. Their rage—stoked daily by Republican politicians and the conservative media—now poses an existential threat to the United States.
Oh
my
lanta!
now poses an existential threat to the
UnitedUnion of Soviet Socialist States.Everything would be going so smoothly if it wasn’t for the Kulaks and the wreckers, comrade.
Countries where ethnic and religious identities are stronger than the national identity require a secular dictatorship in order to remain intact. Absent that, the inevitable result is civil war and balkanization.
Even in countries with homogenous populations like Japan, various factions fought it out for centuries until all but one were defeated.
I’m going to assume that “outsized political power” is the electoral college and Wyoming having the same number of Senators as Cali. None of that really matters when the uniparty gets to pick all the candidates and those states end up being represented by establishment grift machines like McCain and Liz Cheney. The only outsized political influence in this country is those assholes who manage to cling to power at every level of government for decades, no matter how incompetent, wasteful or corrupt their policies are among the electorate in our supposed “democracy”.
Illegal immigrants prefer Joe Biden: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDIpOrkAviw
But remember, only racists believe in replacement theory.
It’s also racist to believe that Denver furloughed government workers to replace them with illegal aliens, or that New York hastily signed contracts to pay illegal aliens for security work.
Replacement theory is a loony right-wing conspiracy and it’s good that it’s happening.