There was suicide in my battalion in the spring of 2018. I went to the memorial ceremony, which nearly brought me to tears. He left behind a wife and children. At the end of the ceremony, several sergeants put some of their old patches and medals in a box in front of a picture of the deceased. Suicide is always irrational, and from my view, all the more so for someone who had worked so hard and so long for a job that I thought was fun and interesting.
When I was at DLI, another soldier thought I was suicidal. I’ve never been a merry ray of sunshine, and at the time I was sleep-deprived and striving to lose weight. So perhaps I looked more morose than usual. About the same time, a sergeant asked the same question of me, and I assured him that I was not. There have probably been suicides at DLI, but none while I was there.
There was another suicide in my battalion in 2019. I remember going to a formation for that one. There are about 400 soldiers in my old battalion, and in those two years, the suicide rate was about 1 in 400 or 250 per 100,000. That rate is ten times the rate of the Army as a whole. I told my brother later that I had survived the suicide capital of the Army. In November of 2019, someone at the NSA building I worked in left a note in a public place which expressed suicidal thoughts. It read something like ‘I’m glad I don’t have a gun because I might shoot myself.’
For some reason, I was seen as the culprit. My platoon sergeant and commander took me aside and asked point blank if the note was from me. I said no, adding that I owned guns and stored them off base. I also said that I know I don’t smile like I’m in a toothpaste commercial because that’s just the way I am. I told them I worked very hard to get into the Army and become a linguist and I wanted to do it as long as I could.
Back to October of 2020. I told my squad leader that I and my subordinates were all on different shifts, so there wasn’t a good time for us to meet for group exercise. I asked if we could exercise on our own. This was common at the time. He then asked me to write up a PT calendar and a risk assessment form. I had been leading my soldiers in group exercise without filling out such forms for months and couldn’t understand why it would be necessary for individual exercise. I sensed another paperwork conflict was brewing like what had happened in August.
Furthermore, given all the time I was spending on my exercise bike, it seemed silly to make a calendar that said the same thing over and over. And it is absurd to do a risk assessment form for pedaling a *stationary* exercise bike. That has to be the safest form of exercise there is. At BLC we were instructed to fill out risk assessment forms for sitting in a classroom, which is so ludicrous that it would be amusing to hear the reactions of Washington or Patton to such nonsense.
After some back and forth with my squad leader, I submitted a few very brief replies to his requests. For the risk assessment, I wrote:
***
Risk Assessment: low
***
I had hoped that it would get him to come to his senses, but it did not. Nor did it help when I mentioned the case of a soldier who got a bad ankle injury because he decided we should run in the dark on uneven ground. I chose to walk that night when then ground started getting very bumpy. The soldier was injured not long after I stopped running.
He calls me in, and I see the paper in his hands. I knew it was a counseling so asked if I could just read it instead of having it read to me. No dice, he began reading. He basically called me incompetent and threatened me with a bad conduct discharge. I saw his foot was in a medical boot and asked what happened. He said he broke it while running. I asked if there had been a risk assessment for that event, and when he said yes, I asked what good was that form if he got hurt anyway. He said it protected the run leader from punishment.
I told him that his order seemed stupid and asked if he had ever gotten a stupid order, and if so, how he did he react. He said that once his squad leader told him to move sandbags back and forth. He did it reluctantly and then made fun of that squad leader behind his back. Here I will note that I have no respect for people who kiss up and kick down. One of my favorite sayings is people who to drag you down are already beneath you, and I vowed long ago not to kiss anyone’s ass and tell them it tastes like ice cream. I like to say there is no point in tiptoeing through life just arrive safely at death.
I said that my intel work is more important that paperwork, which I thought was about as airtight a statement as can be made. His response was to say that my intel work was 90% meaningless. Some morale booster that was. I wonder if he ever considered the implications of that. If my work was meaningless, and he was in charge of me, didn’t that make him meaningless too? My punishment was to make a PowerPoint presentation about the importance of counseling, which I’m sure he did precisely to aggravate me.
When we were parting ways, I basically begged for mercy and said that I would be out of the Army in about a year and besides, there was not much going on anyway. He refused and asked about my last job before the Army. I said I had been an engineer and that it had ended in a way similar to what was happening at that moment. He even looked and sounded like my old nemesis from the plastic bag factory.
He said I wasn’t going to change the Army, which was true, but was also not my goal. The Army should change in some ways given that the longest war in US history recently ended in a catastrophic defeat after 20 years of war, a trillion dollars, and 2,000 dead American troops.
I have another job interview Friday to be a high school math teacher. That makes 4 so far this month. Hopefully I’ll have a job and an income again soon. I’ve enjoyed my sabbatical and have written a lot. It’s gotten boring though.
Play the game, bro. Or don’t, but if you don’t, you shouldn’t plan on having a teaching job (for long). Sadly, that’s just the way the world works.
For a long time I have taken pains to ensure that I dont have to play the game. I have been mostly successful, just a touch here and there left to complete the process. At this point I am very pleased overall.
Ideally, I’d get paid for writing. Until then, I’ll take whatever job I can get and continue to post on my blog. I don’t need much to be self-sufficient.
Thanks for sharing part of your life Derp.
It’s catharsis for me and entertainment for others. Over the next month or so, I will post the entirety of my novella and my autobiography on my blog. I figure at least some people here want to read ahead, and for my writing career, it’s better not to wait to share my work with a wider audience.
Two horses in harness, you and I, UCS. Completely different sides of the same coin. Great example: “…I like to say there is no point in tiptoeing through life just to arrive safely at death.” YEP. Both international explorers, focusing on language, in completely different ways. I have demonstrated, often in positive curveballs, I don’t tiptoe through life. And when I get to Death, I think he’ll wink at me in grudging respect. I haven’t made it easy, did I? (Hrm.)
“I don’t smile like I’m in a toothpaste commercial because that’s just the way I am.” Hrm. I am the chattiest, personable person in public. It’s also just how I am. Look on the Bright Side of Life. (I found a wonderful 4th grade essay on blindness: “Blind people can be very happy if they love life for what it is. But if they think life is terrible just because they blind, then they won’t be. But this is no different than any other person.”)
Always see the smiley faces in headlights<– I say that to myself many times a day. I have all sorts of reasons for my depression. Still, there's always something there. Even if it all sucks, making fun of it all (mostly internally) is keep a way to pass the time. There's always something there. I'd 'do my best' to find it, but it's just hardwired into me. I'm an excellent patient. (It gets you better treatment. Certainly nicer nurses and I've oft been given extra food. Teehee!)
I live in a tricksicle mind. It can congeal. Tomorrow, I have a 90 min psych evaluation. Hrm. I'll def be stoned. Then Parks & Rec Glorified Daycare, but awaiting from a local publication. I'd like them have instructions for the "Tryout" they offered. (They haven't contacted my references yet. I got to my BossBoss myself.) I just had an phone interview, with a March 4 in-person chat… I think for a job I'm gonna have to turn down. It sounds exactly like working the Peru Tribune, Indiana, but in Carroll County. That stress is way too much and I'm gonna send him something telling him what I want/need. I can't be the on-the-ground guy for a small town again. The whole county has ~20k.
Well. Onward, upward, always. Every stepping stone matters. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And now I'm helping Mom clean up a spray of shit Dad deposited in 'My' bathroom. Honestly, not a biggie.
Did you mean Derpetologist?
HAHAHA dammit. I totally did, but I also see great overlap in you and me, UCS. After attending something between edits, it felt right with your name as well.
My apologies, Derp. I’ve mentioned before how we oddly overlap.
Hunter Thompson said something like: I can’t recommend drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity, but they worked out OK for me.
I live on the edge of glory, like that singer Lazy Hooha, or whatever her name is.
Yep, in my own way. I had a great 34th ‘birthday’ to myself. I’ve outlived ‘Christ’ and have seen more than Alexander could even dream of, let alone conquer. (I’m cool w my six continents. Antarctica can pretty much chill without me…mostly.)
That still feels special. It is. But. Meh? Life’s ride has its potholes. It’s like Little League kids with the dirtiest unis: They had the most fun. (Certainly had the most interesting game.) I’m one of few in my generation (it seems) with no ink or piercings. My scars and titanium tell plenty o’ tales.
a poem about stepping stones, by R G Horton:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wzu-zxmmDEY
Sometimes things work out like you think you want them to. Sometimes they work out better than you imagined. Often, we get what we want long after the time when it would have been most helpful (we think).
I remember a coworker who was close to retiring discovered that there was oil on some land he owned. “Why couldn’t this have happened ten years ago?” he asked.
I expect that your writing career is going to take off and get big just at the point when you are on the process of giving up a writing career, or when you just got heavily involved in some other project.
I just listened to this video tonight; it’s about a comic book artist who was highly influential, and he didn’t even know it until after he retired.
https://youtu.be/twzAQcF7HdI?si=3UaH-yJRBSucnFeo
The suicide rates kinda don’t surprise me. I wonder how I’d respond. Probably in a joyful manner. I think such furthers my insanity. See also: Stand-up comedians. A legit Dream Job. I… would probably be quite good at it. Having said that, I’ve never done it. Well. My whole life IS it. Especially in Korea/etc where I could just say it out loud.
When confronted like you were, I generally just look thoughtful and go along with it. I keep my Train of Thought in Ev Station. (Exclusive.) I try and find the set and setting if I wanna make a change, suggestion or whatever. I attempt to make as few waves as possible. Ev no likey the splishy-splashy.
Odd plus/minus I’ve found in Ev’s Hardwire: I simply don’t get angry. Even miffed. Unless someone is punching me in the face, anger is a novel emotion. Even getting hit, honest confusion is my more likely response. In truthful jest, I honestly think I’d be a ‘great patient’ diagnosed with Terminal Cancer. All quiet eyes and purposeful tones to ‘lighten the blow,’ as it were, all on me. I’d likely shrug it off. Meh. It really is like Rudolf Abel in (real life)/ Bridge of Spies: “Would it help?” It rarely does. Why bother?
If I had different experiences, I’d have different opinions.
In the installment above, all that guy had to do was back off and leave me alone. Eventually he did, but only after a lot of unpleasant drama.
…Accurate. If I were a different person, I might be *you.*
You and your squad leader? I am not sure I’ve ever been remotely near that experience. If I was (I may not have recognized it), I didn’t do much or anything. If something crossed my Danger/Red Flags, I’d be quick on it. (I am with kids’ skull safety; not so much the rest of ’em.) Buuut. I don’t think I’ve ever confronted that type of behavior/treatment.
I’m sure it happened many times and I just don’t register it as such. In which case, I always attempt to avoid waves. Put that bit out of my mind and whatever. Pretty much ‘their house, their rules,’ but obviously not at all in the military sense.
In my total military experience I never knew of a suicide in a unit that I was in. There just wasn’t many at all, the draft was still on, most of the Signal guys tended to be a little more on the brighter side.
My mother told me to never work for someone dumber than me. There were occasions in the army, though not many, where I did have someone dumber than me as a boss. Usually they recognized that they needed me worse than I needed them and never bothered me.
Still, in today’s military I doubt that I’d have fit in very well.
Interesting article, Derp.
Your life has been interesting, Derp.
I was one congress critter’s signature away from going to the Air Farce Academy when I realized that I really don’t like to be yelled at. Going to the academy would have been a huge mistake.
My older cousin , who went there, tells a funny story about “Hell Week” where the cadets live out in the woods and march around a lot. He got really hungry so he snuck back to base, stole a #10 can of peanut butter from the kitchen. He got caught. His punishment was to hike back and forth through the night to bring everyone in his squad a #10 can of peanut butter.
young pistoffnick would have had unkind words for the squad leader. /career limiting move!
Then again, he retired at age 40 and moved to Hawaii. I still have at least 15 years to go. Still, I wouldn’t have done it differently.
/keep on rockin’ in a (somewhat) free world!
In training situations there may be a little coarseness but once that is over and you get a job that you were trained for most of the BS disappears. OCS was the toughest experience, both physically and mentally, that I endured. It was a step up the ladder and once a person recognized that it wasn’t personal and every trainee was treated the same there was no reason to worry. I was a bit older than the other candidates but no exceptions were made for that.
Navy OCS was a lot more of a hassle than Army Basic. For one thing, I was 5+ years older. For another – the Marine DIs were total dicks all the time. Punishment for the sake of it and group punishment for stuff you couldn’t control (esp nuke autists with no common sense) was tons worse with them than in the Army.
The thing I GET about joining the military (outside WWII etc) is the forced discipline. I do quite well for myself when I’m busy. The Devil lives rent-free in a luxury suite when my Idle Hands guide Him in.
“I’m no good for myself.” I have said that to myself MANY times. It’s true. I want to be writing for a living again, as well. The absolute lack of structure, other than my two weekly deadlines, was dreadful for me. And no co-workers at all. Turned dreadful. I came into the US too steep, too fast. <–True, but misleading. I'm bad for myself.
Is your cousin Dbleagle?
Interesting history there Derp, mahalo. I put up with plenty of chickenshit BS in the infantry. One line from my first OER said “Lt Dbleagle performs those orders he agrees with very well.” That battalion commander was very surprised to run into me a couple of years later as a Captain. Most of the BS dropped away when I made it into Special Forces. Being the Army there was still BS, but much less than in the infantry. My first commander in SF was the 2d worst leader I ever encountered in my career. Years later I encountered him at Ft Bragg (piss off renaming committee) and I outranked him- that rocked his world.
I have worked with some sharp as hell MI types, and with some that couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the sole. Such is the nature of the beast.
Stupid weasel contractor,
All the weasels were female?
He doesn’t want to transfer data properly because “it’s a hassle” and thinks he’s smart enough to get around the security measures to keep people from violating the data protocols.
He’s not.
Tell him I said to cut out the nonsense and do it properly.
Executives at McDonald’s and Chipotle Mexican Grill have already indicated that menu price hikes are coming, and two large Pizza Hut operators in California recently eliminated their in-house delivery drivers ahead of the new law.
Everything will be delivered by DoorDash. A few months ago, I ordered $100 worth of pizza from Pizza Hut, to be delivered. An hour later a DoorDash driver tried to drop off two cold pizzas from Little Caesar’s.
The story: https://www.yahoo.com/news/california-mcdonald-franchise-owners-target-203816286.html
From the story: “The minimum wage for fast food workers in California will climb to $20 an hour in April after lawmakers passed and Gov. Gavin Newsom signed Assembly Bill 1228 last year.”
I was wondering, “Why fast food?” and then I remembered that the left hates fast food. They like slow, expensive food.
It’s not that principled. The state, i.e. The Left, wants to unionize franchises. So, it proposed establishing a labor board that “negotiate” on behalf of fast food workers. The compromise to end that shakedown is the $20 (same as downtown) per hour minimum wage only for fast food workers.
Whatever jobs are paying $20 an hour *now* are also going to have to give raises, otherwise, those people are going to take the McJobs away from the idiots who protested for $20 an hour to flip burgers and serve cold fries.
*Frump*
I started with the max and got a raise, to $15.70/hour. I play daycare with over-privileged rats for 4.5 hours a day. With all liability and Scared-of-EVERYTHING!(ism) that comes with. I’ve never met one of the parents. I may have seen one or two. There’s a reason I got out of the teaching game.
(To be fair, McDonald’s folk produce far more value than me. I started work at McDonald’s when I was 14. I made $5.25/hour and it’s legit work. Ain’t no fuckin’ ’round. Time to lean/clean, indeed. I just checked a couple inflation calendars, and $5.25 is coming to around $30. That… Damn. Well. I did have enough money I bought my car with my own $1800 cash. Having my own car, and not borrowing one…helped my social life. If I weren’t so fucking naive and clueless, I could’ve learned much more, much sooner. Hrm.
McDonald’s is one of my favorite American companies, and I actually enjoy eating there.
I ate there today, in fact: a Big Mac with fries and a coke, and a McChicken.
Then an apple pie and a strawberry pie.
All purchased through the app.
McDonald’s is fucking genius. Was a legit revolution in food. Can go anywhere in the US, and now the world, and get a Big Mac, chicken nuggets, good fries (they be DAMN good fresh), a Coke (and a smile! (maybe not ‘shut the fuck up’ here)…and it’s a consistent product throughout? That ain’t easy.
I love Usain Bolt in the Olympics would eat massive quantities of chicken nugs from there in China. He, correctly, didn’t trust any of the other food there. (Probably damn good ’round Olympic Park, but his stomach not being used to it? Legit worry.) Generational International reach don’t come easy or often.
Ray Kroc building it saying they didn’t sell food, they sold real estate. The franchising aspect is quite unique. Me likey. Breakfast burritos on the dollar menu in fucking South Korea?! FUCK. YES. I jokingly fretted (…half serious) with friends when they changed it to something else. BOO. (I managed just fine.)
Yup. It used to be the traditional way to teach young people the reality of work.
I couldn’t do it even at a “living wage” cuz doing it right is hard work.
You must be using the wrong calculator.. Even using 1987 dollars it’s still less than $15.
California is determined to make life as difficult as possible for every business in it.
Take that inflation!
…I’m going to weep in the corner now…
McDonald’s should start selling pizza again. Fucking. Yikes.
Evansville used to be a fairly big Testing Town for HQ to check new menu items out. About 100k, Mid West, solid demographics apparently, OK. Some weird shit got tried here. I don’t remember most of them but older bro (1982) and Dad do.
There was (is?) an Arby’s near the Reserve Center/DLA in Richmond that was kinda like that too. They had all kinds of menu items that weren’t available almost anywhere else – rotisserie turkey, 30 different kinds of shakes, Brunswick stew, etc. Also a nicer sit down atmosphere.
Del Taco Number 1 is in Barstow, California and the last time I was there the salsa was made fresh in the store.
BarStool.
There are 39 bars in that town (as of 1985)
For real? I may have stop there on my next drive to Las Vegas.
He said it protected the run leader from punishment.
That is a searing indictment of our society and every organizational bureaucracy therein. Protect the fucking incompetent in charge.
“If they fire me, who will do all the paperwork that I invented for this department?”
https://twitter.com/darren_stallcup/status/1761150528619442273
I don’t want to hear anybody complaining about the food drought when this grocery store closes down, I’ve been fighting every day to make sure this grocery store stays open.
And no, there is no insurance right off policy for stolen goods. And yes, in fact, it is not just because of this damn Biden economy that the price of goods are going up in cost, but also the mass theft that plays a factor in the rising cost of goods.
@elonmusk
Why is the cop in that video not arresting the guy pulling the wheelchair?
I kept looking at that guy; at first I thought he was a second cop.
Maybe he’s mentally calculating whether the stash is over $950.
If he detained the guy pulling it, then he could take all the goods out and count it.
[P]lease be assured that the new software adheres to strict privacy guidelines, and it will only be used for attendance purposes within our school environment,” Selfridge said.
Those kids can kiss their privacy goodbye. I expect that, before the fall semester ends, we’ll see a story about a totally unexpected data breach at the school.
https://www.themainewire.com/2024/02/maine-school-will-begin-biometric-scanning-data-collection-for-students/
I hate those things. I have dry hands and do a lot of manual work. Fingerprint readers seldom work for me. Probably a good thing.
Oh yeah. It’s as good as done.
The nice thing about biometrics is that even if there is a data breach you can easily change your
passwordfingerprint so your other accounts stay secure.Is there any school that hasn’t been completely hacked?
Two Firsts for every second.
That’s how the world will be. Viva la First.
May have asked this before, but since I picked up my new laptop, I installed firefox and all the same addons – noscript, etc….but I can’t get the icons for the add-ons to show up on any of my menu bars. So on some sites, I can’t enable the java script to get the page to load properly – which means I just switch over to Edge…which isn’t really ideal under the circumstances. Any suggestions on settings?
Derp the thing I learned from my stint with Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children was a hatred of blind deference to rank. I hated it when some yahoo was in control of me because he had one more stripe than I had. Or worse some brass on his shoulder.
Ever since I got out of The Suck I have never kissed ass just because someone was higher up the ladder than me. I have been respectful to those who deserved it but also laughed at and mocked many a pompous a hole. I have had many yearly reviews where I was told to work on that. Never listened.
Hope you get that math job. And are a total dick to the kids!
Navy has worked pretty well for that with me – I have no issue whatsoever deferring to an E-6 or Chief when it comes to anything technical. I never got to go to the fun schools, that’s what the enlisted do – (and the LDO prior enlisted). But they better be able to explain their casualties to me in a way that I can explain it to the CO – or they get to come with me when I tell him what’s broke and what’s our plan to fix it.
Like in Starship Troopers though…SWOs (and other Unrestricted Line Officers – Aviators/Subs) – have a special place when it comes to command at sea. I think I mentioned it before, but if the ship takes a hit and the CO/XO and other senior officers get knocked out – the LTJG Navigator will outrank the CDR Supply officer when it comes to saving the ship.
…I volunteer to NOT be the LTJG Navigator.
Wait! I’d actually do quite well! As a supervisor. LCDR– Man the ship. *Whistle-walks away*
I handled that *cracks knuckles* gracefully.
The students who want to learn are great and make the job worth it. Winning over the knuckleheads is not that hard either, in my experience. It’s the admin who’ve given me grief. Here in Florida, only about half the students can pass the state test for algebra and geometry. That’s sad. It’s just as bad as if half the students were illiterate.
Given the state of math education these days, the pickings are pretty slim for math teachers. That works in my favor.
Yes, but how are you going to incorporate Indigenous knowledge into your lesson plans?
I promise to devote at least 10 minutes of class time to every Lakota, Navajo, Cherokee, etc. mathematician who contributed to the development of multivariable calculus.
Here’s hoping he is better picking VP candidates than lawyers.
https://dailycaller.com/2024/02/26/kristi-noem-donald-trump-meeting-mar-a-lago-vice-president/
Pence was not a bad choice from the standpoint of “pick someone your enemies hate even more than they hate you” and with all the “Handmaid’s Tale” stuff around Pence early on, I think that gave Trump some protection for a little while.
Haley would be a bad choice for that tactic, since his enemies would MUCH rather see her in power. Heck, these days the left is so deranged about Trump I don’t even know who would be a backstop anymore. Vivek maybe?
Rand Paul.
Pinochet’s Ghost
Trump/Pence 2024.
Is Sara Palin available?
Happy national Strawberry day!
🌄🍓😇
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6oqXVx3sBOk
🎶🎶
Good morning, Sean!
That may be my excuse for having some strawberry frozen custard tonight! 😋🍨
I was expecting something more sixties.
*falls out of chair*
That’s got to sting, coming from one of the most “progressive” politicians NYC has ever seen. It makes me wonder what shenanigans going on behind the scenes. This guy’s next job is planned to be “mayor”, for one thing. And Adams is not radical enough for much of the base.
linky
Good morning!
Good morning, NA & rhy!
Morning
Good morning, U! How are you today?
Grumpy.
I got to bed at 2am because I tried to complete a task before getting sleep that I didn’t finish anyway, and so I woke up and logged on to work with minutes to spare.
I’m sorry. 🙁 Drink plenty of Dew, and I hope things start to go better.
I hope so too.
I was just scrolling down and as I passed “Risk Assessment Low” in the article, my brain derailed and tried to figure out if I’d copied something from my work paperwork into what I was doing over here – then I realized it wasn’t me.
I think that means you need more Dew.
Mornin’. I can’t wait to open my windows again later.
Inorite?? It’s already 61 degrees here in SW OH! Hope some of this heads your way!
It’s supposed to hit a high of 66 here later on.
😁👍
Summer has already arrived. It was 90’s yesterday, and will be again today. I want my Spring!
Its an all white school from the looks of it, totes okay. Technology for gee-whiz sake is retarded.
roughly 460 students.
Because a simple spreadsheet or well established attendance software wouldn’t work.
Weird to put that in the article that the school is using for attendance but then references the companies ‘school-lunch’ programs…they wouldn’t dare possibly start tying student to diet….never.
So transparent, so stupid.
I love Big Brother.
Mornin’, reprobates!
Good morning, ‘patzie!
Morning!