The Hat and The Hair Animated: Rerun: Episode 8

by | Feb 7, 2024 | Hat and Hair | 88 comments

In researching the Wikipedia information on Trump and the USFL that I will lazily paste below, I found out Trump should be OMWC’s favorite politician! According to the Wikipedia article Trump tried to buy the Colts when Irsay was planning to move them.  In an alternate reality OMWC has season tickets to the Trump Colts of Baltimore in the luxurious and super classy Trump Memorial Coliseum.

But back to the USFL. Trump wanted to buy an NFL team, because that’s what rich guys do. But, it was cheaper to buy a USFL team, so that’s what he did. That didn’t work out so well, and when Trump and the USFL sued the NFL for monopolistic behavior, the jury actually agreed with him. But Trump, being Trump, gets on some people’s nerves. So, the jury awarded the USFL $1.

Lawsuit against the NFL[edit]

“His entire goal was to get him an NFL team. He didn’t care how he got it. … His goal was to get in the NFL. If it took a merger, so be it. If it took the entire USFL collapsing and he gets an [NFL] team, that’s fine too”

Jeff Pearlman, speaking to Newsweek in 2017 about Trump’s goal as a USFL team owner[16]

In addition to moving to the fall, the league decided to initiate a $1.7 billion antitrust lawsuit against the NFL.[25] According to the USFL, the NFL had acted monopolistically in convincing the three major American television channels to not broadcast USFL games.[17] The executives hoped that the lawsuit would result in either a forced merger, a large payout, or the voiding of the NFL’s television contracts.[25] Multiple sources state that Trump’s intent with the lawsuit was to force a merger that would have resulted in him owning an NFL franchise.[9][6][7][33] The trial took place in the United States District Court for the Southern District of New York, with Trump bringing in Harvey Myerson as the lead lawyer for the USFL and Roy Cohn as a consultant.[25] In interviews with reporters, Trump stated that if the USFL did not win the case, the Generals would not play in the upcoming season.[26] The trial received national attention,[26] and Trump testified on June 23.[11] At one point during his testimony, the legal team for the NFL stated that Trump had paid bussers and waiters to spy on NFL owners while they were staying at his hotels, which he denied.[26]

During the trial, Trump stated that in March 1984, he had met with Rozelle at The Pierre hotel and, during the meeting, Rozelle tried to talk Trump out of moving the USFL to the fall, offering him an NFL franchise if he cooperated.[11] However, Rozelle denied making this offer.[11] Rozelle stated that Trump had been the one who set up the meeting and rented the space at The Pierre and from meeting notes showed that Trump had requested an NFL expansion team in New York City, with plans to sell off the Generals.[34] Leslie Schupak,[6] a person who was present at the meeting, later told Pearlman that Rozelle had told Trump, “As long as I or my heirs are involved in the NFL, you will never be a franchise owner in the league”.[10][1]

Aftermath[edit]

The trial lasted for 42 days, with the jury returning a verdict on July 29.[34] The jury ruled against the NFL, although they also stated that the USFL’s financial difficulties had not been caused by the NFL and awarded the USFL damages of only $1, which was tripled to $3 because it was from an antitrust case.[25][35][36] At Myerson’s advice, the league decided not to host a 1986 season as they appealed the case.[25] However, just six days after the trial concluded,[37] the USFL folded.[38][39][40][41] Four years later, the Supreme Court of the United States allowed the ruling to stand and, with including interest, the NFL paid the USFL $3.76 in damages.[25][37] A 2014 article in The Washington Post stated that, following the lawsuit, “Trump was effectively blackballed” from NFL team ownership.[42]

 

About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

88 Comments

  1. Common Tater

    How often do NFL teams change hands?

    • The Gunslinger

      Well, as just one example take my Chicago Bears. They are owned by Virginia Halas McCaskey. She was born in 1923, 3 years after her father George Halas purchased the team.

  2. Grumbletarian

    I imagine the Baltimore Trumps would have worn white and gold uniforms.

    • Ted S.

      The whitest and goldest.

  3. DEG

    “A blank check”

    Heh

  4. R.J.

    I always remember the first appearance of Space Hat. This is the joyous build up.

  5. Brochettaward

    As a straight white Firster, I’m going to opine on sexual identity for a moment.

    The left has had this narrative, though it’s quietly fading, that being gay was purely a matter of genetics/nature. It never really made much sense if one thought about it for more than a moment and was aware of anything related to history and different cultures. But it was politically expedient to push that narrative as it helped get gays on the progressive plantation under the guise of making homosexuality more acceptable to middle America. If people have no choice, it’s just mean to view it as a sin (I am not condemning any behavior or endorsing the view that being gay is in anyway deviant – I don’t give a fuck about that).

    But other cultures do exist and views on sexuality and sexual behaviors throughout time and place show that sexuality is rather fluid. In some cultures, it was just normal and widespread for men to sleep with men or even boys (still happens in some places, unfortunately with regards to the latter). If nearly every male of age is practicing homosexuality, then it quite clearly isn’t just a matter of nature/genetics. There is probably no gay gene.

    And even here in the West, what we are seeing with the tranny issue undercuts the old talking point. A lot of kids who would have previously been gay are now identifying as trans, and there’s more than a couple of kids who are going along with a general fad. Being straight/cis normative is just boring.

    None of this is to say that it’s as simple as people choose to be gay or attracted to whatever they are attracted to. There likely is some genetic component. There is also a strong cultural element to it along with nurture.

    But this is messy, and progs don’t do messy and nuance very well despite their own illusions about their vast intellects. It’s kind of funny to me that the people who claim to the cosmopolitans tend to see things purely through a modern Western lens.

    All of this goes back to my point in the last thread. It’s moronic and stupid to label some ancient Greek who may have practiced homosexuality to some degree as gay, but it sure can be politically useful.

    • R.J.

      I don’t even think it is politically useful. Let’s see how hard it crashes. To your point, nobody would watch it without some titillation, and those who do will be a tiny subsection of the liberal/alternative populace. The one thing it will do well is deplete the funds of people who want to snort coke and make total crap. Eventually they will run out of money to beg, borrow or steal.

    • Aloysious

      Progressive political activists will, just like Vince McMahon, shit on everything.

    • Lackadaisical

      “there’s more than a couple of kids who are going along with a general fad. ”

      And understatement of the year goes too…. Bro!

      Come and collect your reward. One free stay at the furthest gulags.

    • Suthenboy

      Best point in your rant: I have never met a leftist that wasn’t suffering from a whopping case of Dunning-Krueger syndrome.

  6. juris imprudent

    If there aren’t anomolies occuring on this website, I have been slipped a healthy dose of LSD.

    • R.J.

      No doubt. It nears the end of its useful life span. I have my “IT’S HAPPENING!!!” GIF ready for the party after the new site goes up.

      • Brochettaward

        Wait, we are getting a new version of the site?

      • R.J.

        Yes, attempt two failed Tuesday night. Third attempt has not been scheduled.

      • Raven Nation

        ah, was there an announcement about that?

      • R.J.

        Swiss said something about it this morning.

      • R.J.

        Swiss Servator on February 7, 2024 at 8:29 am
        SITE UPDATE NOTE: Didn’t happen.

        We are back to a TBD date.

      • Raven Nation

        Thanks.

      • Ted S.

        The rest of us are getting it first.

      • Brochettaward

        The only First you get is from your right hand.

      • juris imprudent

        So have you noticed shit that’s changed (like the text in comments), or am I tripping?

      • juris imprudent

        Like this:

        juris imprudent on February 7, 2024 at 3:49 pm
        What you done there, it was seine.

        Wasn’t what exactly I wrote. When the fuck has a pun ever been recast and still made sense?

      • Gender Traitor

        Looks the same to me. You must’ve gotten the good stuff.

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, it’s there now, but that wasn’t exactly what I wrote originally. And there have been others. Which is why I assume I am hallucinating.

      • Lackadaisical

        Seek help.

      • R.J.

        I have had multiple comments vanish lately for no reason. Also font sizes seem different. Keep in mind I mostly use my phone for this site so I don’t get the full experience. I know the sidebar was updated with new things, that might have been accompanied by a font change.
        Could be your browser also. When I do use an actual PC, the site looks different between Brave and Firefox. Fonts, spacing, the lot. I think that is browser interpretation of the site.

  7. LCDR_Fish

    Been following the marine helicopter crash all day. Last update I saw said they’d located the helicopter.

    What makes no sense is them flying back from NV into SD in the middle of an overnight storm? What was so urgent they couldn’t wait till the next morning? Seen a lot of comments about how bad those mountains are for flying- in good weather.

  8. R.J.

    I logged on the Zoom and there was some recording of Shpip smoking a cigar. Either that or he had no idea I was there. Freaky.

    • Grosspatzer, Superstar

      Ditto. Drop back in and convince me I am not hallucinating.

      • juris imprudent

        Hey that seems to be my gig tonight.

      • R.J.

        One moment

  9. Brochettaward

    On the subject of Trump, the guy really does believe in his own bullshit. Not on policies or anything, but in himself. His calling for an end to the backlash against AB is him smelling his own farts. He thinks he’s a cult leader rather than a figurehead of conservative anger towards politics as usual.

    You didn’t tart any movement. You don’t lead conservatives. You are just a maroon who managed to say some blunt shit and get conservatives to latch onto you to voice their displeasure at their own party as well DC as a whole.

    Say enough stupid shit, and eventually you’ll be cast aside and lose all power that you have.

    • Derpetologist

      Some wit here I think described Trump as a flaming bag of dog shit hurled into the faces of the ruling class.

      To that I say, God speed, you mad brave fool.

    • Mojeaux

      He’s floated the “I’m going to run for president” balloon since 1988. He was unserious and he never got traction. So when he floated it again in 2014/2015, I thought he was unserious. I still think he was unserious AT THAT TIME. Then he got some traction, didn’t understand he was the flaming bag of dogshit, thought he was the Chosen One, and THEN started smelling his own farts.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Of course he does. Look at how he views loyalty. Or Project Warpspeed.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “It’s not a lie if you believe it.”

  10. The Hyperbole

    Well fuck. the best DJ on Outlaw Country died while on the Outlaw Country Cruise. RIP Mojo, ‘everybody solo’

    • R.J.

      They need “White Space” for “Space Force.”

    • Derpetologist

      It seems I’d need a master’s degree to be an astronaut. For less time and money, I could become a zookeeper.

      I’d prefer to teach high school math, which is kind of like being a zookeeper and rodeo clown simultaneously.

    • Galt1138

      Haven’t you seen John Carpenter’s The Thing?

      • Derpetologist

        +1 flamethrower test

      • Mojeaux

        Oh, I haven’t seen YOU for a while, either!

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Well someone’s got to protect penguins from the Nazi dinosaurs.

  11. Derpetologist

    Come join the zoom fun – there’s 3 of us now, including me.

    • kinnath

      Thanks, but no thanks.

      • R.J.

        Awww. I was just there. In all my Brussel sprout head glory.

  12. Spudalicious

    “In researching the Wikipedia information on Trump and the USFL that I will lazily paste below, I found out Trump should be OMWC’s favorite politician!”

    That is a sick burn. I thoroughly approve.

    • Ted S.

      I’ve been out of bed for an hour.

    • Lackadaisical

      Morning dude.

    • Grosspatzer, Superstar

      Get some sleep, Derpy! Good to see you on the zoom.

      Love the Mark Twain prayer, haven’t seen it in a while.

  13. Grosspatzer, Superstar

    Mornin’, reprobates!

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, ‘patzie, Stinky, rhy, Derpy, Lack, Ted’S., and Sean!

      Slept in a bit this morning because the first order of business today is to tiptoe the car over to Discount Tire to replace this poor victim of an I-75 pothole, and they can’t get the replacement there until about 10 this morning.

      • Grosspatzer, Superstar

        Ouch. Hope that is just tire damage.

      • Gender Traitor

        Inorite?? Just after I hit it, I passed several other cars pulled over onto the shoulder of the highway, almost certainly other victims. Amazingly, the tire didn’t seem to lose pressure the rest of the way home, nor even a couple of hours later. We’ll see how it looks this morning.

  14. rhywun

    Fake but amusing.

    I’m literally applying for, like, minimum-wage jobs,” she says. “And some of them are being like, ‘We’re not hiring’ and it’s like, ‘What?’

    “This sucks, like, I just want to be a TikToker if i’m being so for real but I can’t be delusional any more, I literally need to make money,”

    • Grosspatzer, Superstar

      She has a bright future in comedy. Cute and funny goes a long way.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      A good first step for coming back from delusion is to get the hell out of NYC. How do minimum wagers survive there anyway?

      • rhywun

        Nobody makes minimum wage there.

      • Grosspatzer, Superstar

        How do minimum wagers survive there anyway?

        The new shopping paradigm involving skipping payment helps with cost of goods. Not sure about housing, it’s not easy to find a good cardboard box these days.

      • Suthenboy

        Why in the name of God would anyone want to live in NYC?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Pizza? Museums?

  15. Fourscore

    Morning All,

    Here in Podunkville every store/restaurant has a Help Wanted sign posted. I’m guessing part time or split shifts. See a lot of older people running cash registers.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, 4(20)!

      Hope the seasoned citizens running those registers are doing so because they want to, not because they have to.

    • rhywun

      Ha it alarms me a little when I see so many oldsters hauling goods around at the local supermarket – I hope to be retired by then. 🤞

      The registers are all run by youngsters.

    • R.J.

      I need to move there and run a store. Would be much more relaxing.

  16. Derpetologist

    Here begins my great glibs filibuster. I will post until sleep overtakes me. Had a lovely gas station breakfast this morning with a burrito, hashbrown, pepperoni, and cheese.

    I’ll probably fall asleep in an hour or two. It’s all good. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

      • Derpetologist

        I am in bed now. Does that count?

      • Derpetologist

        If only it was as easy as that. My sleep cycle has been out of whack since 2018.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve been in the same boat. But posting here only deplays nodding off.

      • Derpetologist

        Yes, but what fine company to be drowsy in!

    • Gender Traitor

      ::pumps fist:: DER-PEE! DER-PEE! DER-PEE!

      • Derpetologist

        Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them, as the Bard of Avon said.

        I’ve read complete works of Shakespeare, among many other classics. Yay me.

        ***
        Venus was very angry, and said, “Bold hussy, do not provoke me; if you do, I shall leave you to your fate and hate you as much as I have loved you. I will stir up fierce hatred between Trojans and Achaeans, and you shall come to a bad end.”
        ***

        -from the Butler translation of the Iliad