Go anywhere around the world and you can find food with a bready outer package filled with something tasty:
pasties, dumplings, empanadas, samosas, bao buns, potstickers, hot pockets, burritos, Little Debbie’s hand pies, calzone, stromboli…
Â
Today, We are going to talk about a very specific one:Â The Totino’s Pizza Roll.
Â
It all started in the small town of Aurora, MN on the Iron Range in Northern Minnesota.  Luigino “Jeno” Francesco Paulucci was born July 5th, 1918 to Italian emigrants Ettore, who worked in the iron mines and sold home-made wine, and Michelina, who sold home-made pasta sauce. Ettore suffered an injury which precluded him working the mines.
Struggling to make ends meet the family, instead, opened a small grocery store in Hibbing, MN (You know who else was from Hibbing? A couple of singers, a few politicians, and a LOT of hockey players). Jeno worked in his parents grocery store until he got a job selling grocery items as a travelling salesman.
Â
In 1946, Jeno founded Chun King in a Quonset hut in Grand Rapids, MN (you know who else was from Grand Rapids? A couple of actors, a few politicians, and a LOT of hockey players.). He set up a hydroponic garden where he grew bean sprouts that he sold to Chinese restaurants around northern Minnesoda.
Jeno noticed that most grocery stores had few Asian products on their shelves. He also found most Chinese food to be bland, so he added his familiar Italian spices (along with his bean sprouts) to Chop Suey. He and his mother canned it and sold it locally and eventually nationally.Â
Jeno moved operations to Duluth, MN in 1954. The company thrived. Chun King Express trucks could be found distributing canned and frozen products nationwide.
In the late 1960s Paulucci sold the company to R.J. Reynolds for $63 million. But he kept the egg roll machines.Â
“Only in America would it be possible for a man with a name like Jeno Francesco Paulucci, son of poor Italian immigrant, to get rich selling Chinese food in a Scandanavian region.”– Jeno PaulucciÂ
He started Jeno’s shortly after. He needed a use for those egg roll machines. So he asked Beatrice (Luoma) Ojakangas, by coincidence the older sister of the engineer who had designed the egg roll machines for Chun King, to develop some fillings to go in his egg roll wrappers.
Notice Bea’s poker face at the end? I don’t think she was impressed.Â
In 1985, Paulucci sold his Jeno’s Pizza Rolls brand to Pillsbury for $135 million. The Jeno’s line of pizza rolls was rebranded as Totino’s in 1993. Totino’s continues to dominate the pizza roll market. I have no idea why.
Â
Totino’s pizza rolls taste like little pillows of molten despair with notes of child neglect. Perhaps my tastes have changed as I’ve grown older (actually I know they have). Or maybe the quality has gone down.Â
Totino’s Pizza Rolls:Â 1.2/5Â
Post log:- Some people will quibble and say that the “pepperoni roll” was first sold by Giuseppe “Joseph” Argiro at the Country Club Bakery in Fairmont, West Virginia, in 1927. While earlier than the Jeno’s pizza roll, it looks more like a calzone to me.
- The Paulucci Building still stands at the end of Duluth’s iconic lift bridge. Currently it houses the Vikre distillery and other shops.
- Jeno’s son, Mick, co-founded a string of successful restaurants including Grandma’s (excellent Steak Cheese French sandwich) which is less than a block away from the Paulucci Building.
- Bea Ojakangas went on to write more than 30 cook books, opened a successful restaurant, cooked with Julia Child and Martha Stewart, won a James Beard Award, and still appears on local television.
- Jeno Paulucci died in 2011 at the age of 93. He started over 70 companies.
Wow.
Guys like that inspire me.
“Only in America would it be possible for a man with a name like Jeno Francesco Paulucci, son of poor Italian immigrant, to get rich selling Chinese food in a Scandanavian region.”– Jeno Paulucci
Preach it, brother. I do have my doubts whether that America is still with us, though.
The screams of “muh cultural apprprishun!” would be deafening.
It depends. There was an Indian restaurant that expanded into a second location, and themed the second location as an Indian/Mexican fusion restaurant. They went under due to terrible service and mediocre location. The food was solid though (who wouldn’t want a lamb vindaloo burrito?).
One of my favorite joints back in north Phoenix 30 years ago was Chino Bandido .
I see they are still there. If I ever get back to Phoenix, that will be one of my first stops.
I shouldn’t have looked at the website. Now, I’m hungry again.
little pillows of molten despair with notes of child neglect
The perfect orphan food!
Damnit. None of the videos show up like the block editor showed.
WP can be disappointing,
Neat article!
The links that should have been embedded.:
Whats a matta you? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcndywpVSq8
Bea tries a pizza roll: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJuNcEA1nKQ
Funny Jeno’s Pizza Rolls commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ef-eMquH3I
I’ve had that happen too!
I had to check to make sure it wasn’t a SugarFree post. Seemed off-brand for him, but the links were 100% unsweetened.
I don’t think I’ve ever had any.
Too costly for a poor lad growing up, never developed a habit, so I didn’t try them later on.
Too costly for a poor lad growing up
I didn’t have them often, but I remember pizza rolls as the poor man’s bagel bites.
Half the time we didn’t even have a microwave.
You overestimate how much money I mean by “poor”.
I ate a lot of those when they were Jeno’s. They came in that foil tray where every one sat in its own little indentation. When you shared with someone else there were never enough of them.
Thanks for writing, this was fun. I love this stuff, it’s the type of thing I won’t turn off if I come across it on TV.
I’ll e-mail a pizza roll to your webzone.
You scare me CPRM.
Pizza rolls ruined my childhood.
I’ll put these on thew list of things not to try should I ever visit the US of A.
I’m sure they could be better:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlvnEASfkHM
THIS is the kind of thing that should be in the American Food section of a European grocery store. I am guessing it isnt there as it needs to be kept frozen, not just put on a shelf.
“Only in America would it be possible for a man with a name like Jeno Francesco Paulucci, son of poor Italian immigrant, to get rich selling Chinese food in a Scandanavian region.” – so white privilege and cultural appropriation. Also inherited wealth, as no one can succeed in capitalism from scratch, my socialist comrades inform me.
“Only in America would it be possible for a man with a name like Jeno Francesco Paulucci, son of poor Italian immigrant, to get rich selling Chinese food in a Scandanavian region.”– Jeno Paulucci
Caramba!
“Totino’s pizza rolls taste like little pillows of molten despair with notes of child neglect.”
That is an amazingly perfect description.
In that category of food (despair+neglect), I always preferred bagel bites.
I’ll admit to having a soft spot for Stouffer’s French Bread Pizzas.
Perfect in the air fryer.
Those used to be in the rotation at Casa Dean, but it’s been probably 20 years.
Same here.
Ah, Stouffer’s French bread pizza – for when you’re tired of the current roof of your mouth and want to grow a new one.
I can afford food now, so I don’t have those anymore.
Red Baron.
Wild Mike’s is good but I can’t find it lately.
so you like
SugarPizza in the morning,SugarPizza in the evening ANDSugarPizza at supper time?Ain’t we got fun.
+1 toaster strudel
One of the frozen burrito companies used to make a chilidog burrito.
He started over 70 companies.
I marvel at people like this. I never had the temperament. It requires constantly dealing with people, for one thing.
Per my father, all items that are stuffed in dough were stolen from the pierogi. Empanadas – Mexican pierogi. Ravioli – Italian pierogi. Gyoza – Chinese pierogi. Calzone – really big Italian pierogi.
He’s got it backwards. The pierogi was an attempt to imitate other cultures when all they had was potatos and onions.
/goes and gets some sloppy Joe pierogi, chicken paprikash pierogi, and potato cheddar habanero pierogi.
What was that now?
Just because they continued their wild appropriation after immigrating and gaining access to more ingedients doesn’t change the basic facts.
…chicken paprikash pierogi
Where can I find those ?
Pierogi of Cleveland. Unfortunately, they haven’t started shipping again after the lockdown times.
The bacon, egg, and cheddar ones are awesome for breakfast.
Ill keep that in mind since I may be spending some time in the future in Brecksville.
/fingers crossed
If that’s the case, let me know. I’m right down 80 or 480/77 from there.
I loved him in My Big Fat Polish Wedding.
We’re not even Polish!
Germanic Swiss and Slovak on that side of the family.
Then what’s his excuse?
Oh. You thought pierogi started in Poland, huh?
Clearly not, they’re a photocopy of a photocopy of a dumpling.
I LOLd. I can totally picture the conversation.
I suspect every culture has “that guy “
My thoughts exactly! Ha!
Ooops! Got a G. Rapids in MN, too. Judy Garland says hello
Her ruby red shoes were recovered a few years ago.
https://apnews.com/article/solen-ruby-slippers-wizard-of-oz-5d142469ad5f052f6af053d20dbf20c4
I really wanted to see a picture of the guy who stole those shoes. Sad. I expect an aged Charles Nelson Reilly.
All you got was Sam Brinton?
ZING!
I wonder what six figure sinecure he landed in.
White House costume designer ?
Wait….that requires work.
You think Herr Doktor Jill would let that freak anywhere near her clothes?
Maybe thats his one talent- dressing her in a jaw-dropping ensemble.
Now PO Nick will have to add on to his super smoked salmon/Wisc cheese for HH. I can see some of the folks banging their styrofoam coffee cups, shouting “We want Totinos, we want….”
Thanks for reminding me, Nick, it’s been a long time since I had any.
/Adds Totinos to shopping list
Speaking of despair
In addition to the hypothetical matchup lead, the surveys also hinted at a deeper shift in voter perceptions of two men who have been campaigning against one another on and off for the past five years: They suggest Biden may be losing is long-held likability edge over Trump.
Across all four polls, Trump had a higher favorability rating than Biden did with respondents, although some were within the surveys’ margins of error.
This was unheard of during the 2020 election cycle, a race in which Biden ran as a candidate who promised to unite a country bitterly divided after four years under Trump.
Stoking that bitter division for three years hasn’t healed the nation? Insulting and vilifying half the country isn’t the path to unity?
Say it ain’t so.
They were so sure that everyone was willing to fall on their faces and confess their sins.
Well, even if anyone intended to try and unify the country (which I seriously doubt), the gift of J6 gave them what every wannabe jackboot dreams of – a big ol’ stick to beat the untermenschen with.
So they’re going with the classic “It’ll be unified once we get rid of *spit* those people”.
Get rid of, make a lesson of – either way – pour encourager les autres.
I thought about what would be an Asian equivalent.
For Japan it would be onigiri.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onigiri
Nikuman are also common across Asia.
https://www.justonecookbook.com/nikuman-steamed-pork-buns/
I noted Neph above mentioned Gyoza, but I’m wondering if there are some more Asian varieties.
Curry bread https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curry_bread
My wife makes homemade onigiri with fried croquettes with what meat we have left from dinner for lunch sometimes.
So good.
Still, the CBS News/YouGov poll suggested voters remember the Trump economy through rose-colored glasses.
In response to a good/bad question about how the U.S. economy was under Trump, 65% of those surveyed said it was “good.” Asked how the economy is doing today, only 38% said it was good.
Times were so hard in 2018 people were forced to block out the memory as a psychological coping mechanism.
All this gaslighting is becoming amusing. The economy’s way better than four years ago, there aren’t people pouring over the border into the cities, crime is down, this clearly senile old man is sharp as a tack! Just when you think their credibility couldn’t get any lower.
Not mentioned: the survey results on the economy when Trump was in office.
Biden has been fighting tooth and nail to convince voters that the economy’s post-Covid recovery is the result of his economic agenda, which aides have dubbed Bidenomics. But voters, still feeling the inflationary squeeze on their budgets, have yet to give Biden credit for the objectively strong economy, even as they get more optimistic about its trajectory.
Not everybody works for Raytheon or Lockheed.
Objectively great economy.
“We have beaten the data into submission, and it tells us what we want to hear, dammit!”
All three of those words were lies.
You cannot be serious!
I want egg rolls.
GM tells Ford “hold my beer”.
Block Main Oil Gallery Hot Core Pin Casting Defect.
https://www.autoevolution.com/pdf/news_attachements/general-motors-will-replace-l3b-27l-turbo-i4-pickup-truck-engines-with-cracked-blocks-229737.pdf
Yeah, I think I’ll stick with Toyota.
Oops.
Thanks Nick.
“Go anywhere around the world and you can find food with a bready outer package filled with something tasty”
Australian sausage rolls: https://images.app.goo.gl/cue9PgEJttZB5HmL6
Pigs in a blanket?
Similar, but the meat is ground up in a sausage roll and pastry is more encompassing.
That looks far more edible than most of the other things being discussed.
Nikuman above are awesome!
Mrs F makes them on rare occasions. Not my favorite, the bread is too sticky for me. Wouldn’t order them off a menu
Did you nick those from the British or the Irish? 🙂
Scottish egg FTW
The girlfriend (who studied for a year in Scotland) said she had never heard of a Scottish egg. I had to remedy that situation.
They’re now one of her favorites, and we’ve got a brewery that has them nailed (runny yolk with a side of mustard mayo).
🤢🤮
RIP Ewen MacIntosh.
https://www.radiotimes.com/tv/comedy/the-office-scotch-egg-scene-newsupdate/
Ray of Sunshine on the “influencer” racket.
https://nypost.com/2024/03/04/lifestyle/restaurant-roasts-entitled-influencer-who-demanded-free-food-we-appreciate-paying-customers-more/
Reminds me of that old SNL skit. “Hey, I’m Picasso!”
There was a story a long time ago, in the dark ages when we read print newspapers, of a starving-artist type guy that would eat at a diner and hand draw a piece of US currency on a napkin or some other piece of paper. Then he would try to pay for his lunch with the drawing. If they said no, he would pay with cash and move on. But most times, the owner would cheerfully take the drawing and pin it up on the wall next to the register.
Modern influencers are a plague on society.
I always hated that story.
Okay. Why?
It’s a simple barter transaction. Art for a meal. What’s to hate.
Haggling.
Ah.
I understand that.
For those who don’t live in the wonderful parts of the world where you can get a Pepperoni roll. They used to a be a $1 staple at convenience stores… that time has passed now.
Our local gas station has a micro-Godfather’s, and they do a decent pepperoni roll.
I see Senator Hookerboots has decided not to run for re-election. She was better than I expected. Now that Repubs are effectively barred from statewide office in AZ due to their puerile anti-MAGA refusal to do election reform when they had the chance, there’s no telling what odious piece of crap will join Mr. Gabby Giffords (motto: “Did you know I’m an astronaut?”) in the Senate.
For those trying to lower their carb intake without giving up every food they love, I’ll just say that I prefer Atkins pizza bites to their actual pizza. [Disclaimer: neither is really a great substitute for real pizza.]
Eating just the tops of pizzas (only at home) worked pretty well for me. Most crusts aren’t great anyway.
Be careful, tomato-based sauces have a nasty tendency to be very sugary.
Well, there are pesto and alfredo substitutions.
When I was full-on “low-carb” just the toppings worked well for me.
Then again, it was a rare treat.
Kyrsten Sinema announces she is retiring from the Senate
Sen. Kyrsten Sinema, an Arizona independent, announced Tuesday she will retire at the end of her term this year, blaming growing partisanship and mudslinging in Washington for driving her decision to not run for reelection.
“I believe in my approach, but it’s not what America wants right now,” Sinema said, in a video announcing her decision.
So long, sweetie.
I assume she’ll be replaced with someone far worse.
Missed it by that much. But you get bonus points for a link. One that works, even!
Yup. Getting slow in my old age.
I have to admit that I was so glad when she and Manchin shut down the worst excesses of the new democratic Senate.
It’s likely going to be bad news that she’s leaving.
I’d bet heavily on that.
I won’t be happy until walking cane beatings come back to the Senate and Congress.
I will miss her though. Remember the yellow butterfly dress?
Paging P. Brooks. Your stick is needed in the well.
Well isn’t this something. California just gave a get-out-of-jail-free card to every incarcerated minority:
What would happen if lawmakers reinvented the criminal-justice system to target “systemic racism” instead of crime? California is about to find out. Thanks to a 2020 law called the California Racial Justice Act, every felon serving time in the state’s prisons and jails can now retroactively challenge his conviction and sentencing on the ground of systemic bias.
To prevail, the incarcerated prisoner need not show that the police officers, prosecutors, judge or jurors in his case were motivated by racism or that his proceedings were unfair. If he can demonstrate that in the past, criminal suspects of his race were arrested, prosecuted or sentenced more often or more severely than members of other racial groups, he will be entitled to a new trial or sentence.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/california-finds-a-new-way-to-be-soft-on-crime-systemic-racism-defense-frees-felons-f5282810?st=8govoantm09nspy&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
Of course this will overwhelm their court system so I doubt there will be many new trials. Maybe we should all pitch in and start a rubber stamp manufacturing company in CA.
Where is Lex Luther when you need him?
What about all the crackers doing white collar crime time. I’d think they’d get a shot at this too. Right?
Back before we had significant numbers of non-enslaved minorities, whites were prosecuted far more often than other races.
Father of the year.
Higgs brought his son to a local hospital on Feb. 15, 2018, for treatment to injuries that he said “stemmed from a fall,” according to a news release. The child was reported to have 22 fractures to his ribs, a cracked scapula, bruises and scars.
Authorities said neither Higgs or his son had an explanation for the child’s injuries other than stating he had fallen. The child remained hospitalized for six weeks.
https://www.nj.com/essex/2024/03/ex-nj-cop-found-guilty-of-assaulting-his-young-son-so-severely-he-spent-6-weeks-in-the-hospital.html
If Raven is still around a reply to yesterday: Why wouldnt City’s potential point deduction effect the relegation race if they were given the proportional 600 pt deduction?
Jugsy has been on a pizza roll kick lately (almost nightly) ever since I took advantage of Kroger selling them at a deep discount.
In fact I just got her the 100 ct bag of sausage/bacon at Meijer.