For the past four years I’ve spent most Friday nights and Saturdays at my parents’ house. It started when my father was given a year to live and continues with my 93 year old mom now that my father is gone. My responsibilities include keeping her company, handling her finances, maintenance around the house, feeding, and changing adult diapers (not my own), but by far the worst task is going through my mom’s mail.
Over the years my mom has donated to many charities and political groups which has put her on many lists. These organizations are relentless in their quest for money. Here are some of the tricks they play.
Quantity has a quality all its own
It doesn’t matter if or when you last donated. They just keep hitting you up. 2 weeks, 2 months since your last donation. They don’t care. They will ask again. Even their thank you letters contain a request for more. One organization sends two mailers a week. They can’t be bargained with. They can’t be reasoned with. They don’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop.
Scattershot
Who are these people? They aren’t even in the same state let alone the same district as me. I realize that fundraising is national these days, otherwise Beto probably would never have received a dime, but it still sits wrong with me. And Rand, I like you, but your name is on a lot of these. Do better.
Sense of Urgency
Did I mention it was urgent?
“Handwritten” notes
“That’s a nice note”.
“Mom, nobody wrote that. Not even orphans in the basement. It’s designed on a computer, printed out and sent to thousands of people.”
“I know, but it’s thoughtful.”
It Looks Official
Make it appear official and important. I’d better open it.
The Bogus Survey
They send you a survey as if they care about your opinion. They even say it’s exclusively for me! I feel so special. They include a fancy return envelope so it must be legit. But of course the call to action is for more money. I can only picture the mail room where they open this, dispose of the survey in the trash, and set the checks aside.
Gifts!
“Such a nice gift. I should send them some money. Does your daughter want some stickers?”
“Mom, she’s 21.”
“21 already? Well, does she want some stickers?”
A Ransom Note Looks More Respectable
Lots of bold.
LOTS OF CAPS.
Lots of underlining.
Usually it’s in Courier font. (Easier for old people to read?)
Throw in a few exclamation points!!!
OFTEN IT’S ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!
I suppose they’ve found these things to be effective, but to me they look like the rantings of a lunatic.
All this is just a subset of one week’s worth of mail. Lost in the piles of mail are the important things like checks and bills and letters and cards from family. Occasionally out of spite I will send empty return envelopes that don’t require postage, but that’s really just wasting my time. It seems the only way to win is to never enter the game. I wish there was a way to make it stop.
“Mom, nobody wrote that. Not even orphans in the basement. It’s designed on a computer, printed out and sent to thousands of people.”
“I know, but it’s thoughtful.”
They want you to be well and happy. Won’t you please give generously to help them help you?
Oh my.
I considered writing this very post.
My Dad had a stroke in 2019 and Mom’s dementia crashed at the same time. It took him 2 years to pass away, so I’ve been dealing with their mail for nearly 5 years now. Before that, he’d done a few veteran-specific donations, and a few alumni things.
So their mailbox is still inundated with this kinda crap. I feel your pain.
Decent rant.
Courier font is closer to a typewriter, so it looks more official to people who’ve had to deal with typewritten documents?
Just guessing. I use it because it’s monospace.
It is very hard to read on the computer. Serifs are better. Georgia was specifically designed for ease of computer reading to tired eyes.
If a client sends me a manuscript to edit in Courier, I change it to TNR immediately.
I use it because that is what traditional script writing style uses. Gotta look professional while I write about a pervert who jerked off onto a plant being rescued by Ted Nugent to stop the anti-gun lobby from staging false flag attacks, otherwise people might think I’m nuts.
Lot of old names in there we don’t see much of now.
Can you harass someone through the mail?
Why isn’t there a national ‘do not mail’ registry, like there is for phone calls?
Because the Postal Service wants the funding.
Because the Postal Service wants the funding.
It’s a critical part of their funding stream.
I think it’s 60+% now of first class mail is junk mail.
There is. For credit offers only. Besides, the politicians and associated groups are exempt from the do not call list as well.
And catalogs (C~ Choice).
Hey! I buy stuff from uLine.
Stupid New York plastic bag ban.
So you get a new
doorstopcatalog every week?I will continue to get Chadwick’s catalogs until Earth is a smoldering cinder. 🙄
I would have thought that his catalogs would go to KK.
😄
In this case, “classic” chick clothes, of which I already have way too many. If I somehow need any more, I’ll look on the website.
I think my Wife gets between 5 and 20 of these types of catalogs a week. And some big free subscription to a glossy woman’s magazine that is 95% adverts. Harper’s Bazaar, maybe?
She orders a lot of clothes over the laptop.
Occasionally out of spite I will send empty return envelopes that don’t require postage,
It’s a start.
Fill the envelope with correspondence from other junk mail. No need to dump this crap into your local landfill.
During the Bush W years I would use their prepaid contribution envelopes to send the Republican Party complaint letters. They stopped bothering me.
Sometimes for fun I sift through my spam emails, today’s winner had this as the subject:
“I went 20 days without pooping!”
I hate it when people humblebrag.
The record is years.
They had to surgically remove a section of the man’s colon that had become impacted with excrement as there was no way for it to pass naturally.
I think Charles Bukowski summed it up best:
“You can go your entire life without having sex, but go five days without taking a shit, and you will die.”
I get endless phone calls. All spoofed numbers. None of them leave a message. I answered one yesterday for fun, and it was dead silent and then hung up. I suppose this is a dry run for October-November political season. The wife and I are now immune to letters wanting money. I burn them to start my charcoal chimney when BBQing.
The spoofed number calls are rage inducing.
You don’t know the half of it. I’ve had far too many conversations with managers at companies explaining that if the person they’re trying to call blocked their number, there’s nothing we can do on our side to get the call to them.
I don’t know if it still does, but Google Voice used to play a disconnect message to any caller that you had blocked as spam.
A couple weeks ago, I got a phone call from my bank, USAA.
It showed USAA as the contact, I do have their number saved.
First red flag, she didn’t greet me with my name and prior rank.
Lady tells me that my debit card was used to purchase a $450 item in Texas, I told her that was not me.
She told me that in order to hold the transaction, she would need the card number.
That seemed shady, so I told her I didn’t have it with me.
Second red flag, she became very adamant that I tell her the number.
I hung up and called USAA, they said there was no transaction in Texas, and they had no record of anyone calling me.
We went back and I verified that my phone was showing the usual number USAA does call me from.
I hate thieves.
My mom’s mail is similar but from the usual DNC / ACLU / SPLC (etc.) orgs, plus a zillion animal charities. Oh boy, more return address labels!
That last one is the classic 2-4 page direct mail sales letter. They seem really dumb, but historically they have a phenomenal conversion rate, and are still used sometimes today even though they look so dated.
The surveys remind me of when they found out that televangelist Robert Tilton was sending mailings out that asked for a letter back from the recipient, but the responses just went to a lockbox. The checks were pulled, and everything else (heartfelt letters and sometimes even personal mementos) went straight into the trash.
I was going to cite this! It got even better…
“Sawyer said that Trinity and Primetime Live assistants found prayer requests in bank dumpsters on fourteen separate occasions in a thirty day period.”
“[Tilton] asserted that the prayer requests found in garbage bags shown on Primetime Live were stolen from the ministry and planted in the dumpster for a sensational camera shot, and that he prayed over every prayer request received, to the point that he “laid on top of those prayer requests so much that ‘the chemicals actually got into [his] bloodstream, and… [he] had two small strokes in [his] brain.””
“Tilton also claimed that he needed plastic surgery to repair capillary damage to his lower eyelids from ink that seeped into his skin from the prayer requests.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Tilton
I had never heard about him claiming the ink seeped into his skin, but it’s typical, he was always making ridiculous claims like that.
I remember seeing him on TV for the first time, thinking what an obvious fraud he was, and wondering how anybody could possibly be fooled. But it worked on certain people, a friend of mine’s mom sent his “ministry” money a few times.
We recently got one about from law firm claiming an unclaimed insurance payout. It was quite interesting because they actually created a completely fake law firm web site that matched the letter. You had to actually search as the website wasn’t referenced in the letter claiming the payout.
There were multiple red flags. I’m in insurance and recognized that the type of contract they referenced didn’t actually exist. The other was the hook you in we will take the $17m payout donate 20% of it to charity and split the remainder 50/50. It was similar, but not the same as this:
https://www.cbs17.com/news/investigators/letter-saying-unclaimed-canadian-insurance-policy-worth-millions-is-a-scam/
My curiosity peaked I wonder what the hook was going to be. A bit of research suggests that you wind up sending money in order to “pay the taxes” on the payout, before you can receive it. A variation will be some kind of “banking fee” that must be paid first.
I was actually quite well done and grammatical. I can easily see grandma or grandpa falling for it.
Someday we have to do a job survey. Seems like most Glibs work in IT, the insurance industry, or legal professions.
Engineer (non-IT). There are a few of us here as I recall.
P&C, Wall St, Life and finally financial services within Life.
Antiques, but also logistics, phone company tech, AC inspections/sales, and bookstore manager.
I get bored easily, and often fall into the peter principle.
Glibs commentators will be disproportionately those whose jobs allow them to visit Glibs during work hours.
I may soon be not one of those. I’m supposedly starting a W2 job Monday, but I have heard nothing of direct deposit setup, login setup, work hours, etc. We shall see. The job is legit, but I’m not sure the company is all that with-it.
Engineer (non-IT) and a BMF.
Radiation safety and gynecology although the latter is more of a hobby.
You realize no woman likes going to the gynecologist, right?
Oh I expect there is a very small percentage that do. Takes all kinds and all.
I’m sure some men enjoy the proctologist as well.
The gynecologist probably gets tired of it too.
I watch videos all day.
Nice try, Fed.
Environmental consultant
If you’re not a part of the solution, there’s good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
I do investigations and cleanups of contaminated sites. I work for the polluters, and it is good money because the state forces them to do the investigations and remediation.
Sounds like interesting and challenging work.
In NJ? I can’t see why there is demand in the DPR of NJ.
Yup, plenty of work in NJ, Unsurprisingly.
My house had it’s fuel oil tank removed before we purchased decades ago. Fortunately permitted and documented.
OTH, I’ve watched house in the neighborhood with half the property excavated over multiple days because of fuel oil leakage. Talk about absolutely nuts.
“Because the mail never stops!!”
https://youtu.be/LL6ubXD9ZjY
The only way to not get these mailers is to never give a single dollar to any political entity or charity for any reason ever. Seems like it has to be counterproductive at some point but I’d imagine they’ve crunched the numbers.
My mom once donated a little to a local animal rescue. They never bothered her after that.
I heard a suggestion long ago to send a check with your name and address blacked out; don’t know if that works.
Pitching woo
Former president, presumptive 2024 GOP candidate and fast food lover Donald Trump stopped by an Atlanta Chick-fil-A on Wednesday, where he reportedly ordered 30 milkshakes and gave them out to patrons in an apparent attempt to woo local voters.
——-
A video of a Black woman embracing Trump at the Chick-fil-A also went viral.
“I don’t care what the media tells you, Mr. Trump,” she said. “We support you!”
The Republican leader has worked to wrestle the support of Black voters away from President Joe Biden, whom he faces in November’s election.
Just a lousy milkshake? He needs to cancel their debts and provide free internet if he wants to compete with Joe.
Are Chick-fil-A milkshakes any good?
Yes. Particularly if you order them without toppings (whipped cream and a cherry), because the whipped cream dilutes the milk-shakiness.
This OMB-CFA visit is a flex, by the way, and one that most people won’t notice, but which the target audience will. Dunno where they were going exactly, but regardless they had several CFAs to choose from. They picked the one that’s central to ATL’s HBCU area, obviously on purpose, and knocked the visuals out of the park.
His milkshakes brought all the boys to the yard?
But Joe is now voting for Trump after finding out about the free milkshakes.
“wrestle”
LOL it’s not much of a fight. Apparently it’s surprising to them that minorities are negatively affected by the same things as white people.
Wrest was intended, perhaps.
The police PAC donation calls used to be unrelenting. They would put some dude on the line with a “Cop Voice” asking for donations and implying it could help you get out of a ticket. I usually gave them a “Am I being detained” or just hung up.
A nice job… if you can stomach it. There were also reports that they would record affirmative answers and use those as proof that you agreed to some charges/subscriptions.
When I was in high school I worked for a while as a scam fundraiser phone-bank caller. It was horrible enough I didn’t pick up my check after I quit.
Well damn…RIP Nordberg.
Say mean things about some dead kinds? $1 Biiiiiilllyun dollar fine.
Gut a couple of people? $0.033 billion.
https://hotair.com/headlines/2024/04/11/oj-still-owed-ron-goldmans-family-million-n3786332
From the dead thread on that:
If there’s a kickstarter to renovate a white Ford Bronco into a hearse, I will damned well chip in for that. They have to do it.
Mom turns 89 today. Dad turns 89 in the fall.
Both in good health with sound minds.
I am fortunate.
Very,
Happy Birthday, kinnath’s mom!
thanks
Happy Birthday to your Mom, she deserves it!
My Mom’s too, 120 were she alive. Yesterday was Mrs F’s, a gentleman never asks a lady her age.
thanks
81 and 79. Dad’s not 100% ever since a stoke a few years back… but he’s not bad even on his bad days. Not very mobile though.
It is my plan to move back (hopefully later this year… we’ll see… other problems intrude) to be on-call for this sort of thing.
The only way to not get these mailers is to never give a single dollar to any political entity or charity for any reason ever. Seems like it has to be counterproductive at some point but I’d imagine they’ve crunched the numbers.
If they had to put a first class stamp on everything they send it might slow them down.
Bulk commercial mail keeps the lights on at USPS. It will never stop.
I remember decades ago a 60 Minutes story on a guy that got a PO Box and signed up for every piece of junk mail he could. He used it to heat his house.
Genius!
I want his newsletter.
He burned it.
Move, leave no forwarding address.
@Zwak, I’m sorry your mom bailed. I didn’t bail. I just didn’t let myself be consumed by my status as “mom.”
Moj, that came across shittier than I thought it would. I didn’t mean anything by it.
You’ll note that folks wised up and disappeared after dispensing justice.
Moment New Yorkers take down violent prowler after he punches woman on street amid flurry of random attacks
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13290169/group-beats-man-punches-woman-14th-street-nyc.html
Very good. Mask compliance might come in handy on these situations too.
most excellent
Mandy must be so happy that the MAGAite got his just deserts.
The no cops crowd tends to forget that cops also protect the accused from the public. If the system won’t address the problem, the public will.
WWRJD?
Well, I believe Ron Jeremy has dementia, so, pull it out and grunt?
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2024/04/surprise-house-blocks-bill-renew-fisa-warrantless-spy/
Not sure if this was discussed in any of the threads yesterday. So 19 Republicans and ALL the Democrats killed the renewal of FISA spying on citizens.
Sound like great news. Why does this make me suspicious?
FISA didn’t go far enough! We will replace it with something stronger, more bi-partisan!/
Expires the 19th-don’t start whistling Zippity Doo Dah just yet.
The info I heard was that they killed (awful) amendments to it and that it’ll be extended without amendment.
It’s more complicated than this. Thomas Massie wasn’t among the 19 Republicans who voted NO and explains why:
If I’m POd I write “DECEASED” Return to Sender” boldly and chuck back in to the mail box.
You know your Illinois ballot is counted anyway, 4×20… 😉
I graduated college 30 some years ago. I never gave the alumni association any money. I have moved at least 6 times and to 3 other states. Yet somehow the alumni association still finds me and asks for money.
Those guys should use their powers for good and find missing persons instead of trying to harass me.
^Same. Five different states and my now rabidly woke alma mater still finds me.
The NRA sent me a free membership renewal last week – 2 moves after I stopped giving them anything.
I’m about 75% sure that USPS sells change-of-address information. So anybody that cares can follow you when you move.
I had a couple of conversations with alumni fundraiser callers, to the effect that I received a degree that did not enhance my job prospects, that I had moved out of that state, and that I had no intention of ever giving them another dime, so quit calling already.
Eventually they stopped.
A local college is closing at the end of the semester, the city they’re in (in typical bad city fashion) started “demanding answers”. I mentioned to the girlfriend, just think of being one of the few college graduates out there who knows for a fact that the college you graduated from will never request funds again.
Then I remembered that my high school was from a “merger” of a school that had closed decades previously (but had apparently keep fundraising during that time).
It may make things slightly more complicated if someone wants to verify a transcript or proof of graduation, however…
“I’m not accusing anybody of anything,” he said.
Yes you are.
Same thing is happening here!
https://www.timesunion.com/education/article/saint-rose-646-employees-lost-jobs-college-closes-18671479.php
Rant related to the original topic, with respect to mail that oldsters get: I’ll use Medicare EOBs as my example. They come reasonably frequently, and each and every one of them is loaded with several pages of text and some numbers. I’m quite sure that it’s largely driven by some requirement for “patient information” or “patient rights” or whatever. But the volume and complexity of it probably drives confusion and stress in >95% of its recipients. They’re already in some kind of vulnerable state, and all that text is useless to them, and the “you may be liable for” number at the end sounds like a bill but says it isn’t.
Ha! I am dealing with a ‘risk issue’ at work right now. We forgot to stuff a bunch of disclaimer pages behind some letters to clients. Of course we had absolutely zero complaints from clients, but corporate compliance is all concerned.
Of course not.
But now you will make the USPS happy and basically have to do a second mailing unless you can convince your compliance department.
If it’s a regulatory or legal requirement you really won’t have any choice, but to do another mailing.
“Man, I sure am glad they finally stopped putting all that stupid extra crap in.”
My mom has the same problem with her credit card bill.
Has anybody mentioned this? Wow…
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/idaho-woman-85-fatally-shot-home-intruder-heroic-act-self-defense-rcna147312
She was shot multiple times and survived as well. Amazingly analytical in how she approached the situation.
Note how NBC PUTS “heroic” in sneer quotes.
After my mother died, I had her mail forwarded to my place. I started getting all her junk mail. Like your mother, Mom had donated to enough causes, political and religious, that she was on all the lists. I called the post office and asked, basically, “how do I get this to stop?” The response was, bulk commercial mail doesn’t pay for return-to-sender service, so you can’t use that.
What I had to do, and it has mostly worked, is: Open every piece of mail. On almost all of them*, there is a number you can call to get your name taken off the list. I suspect this is required by some law, but I don’t know. Call the number (keep track of who you have already called, and when). Sometimes you get a real person, sometimes voice mail, but give the name and full address that you want removed. Because most of these places are using commercial mailing services, they will already have mailings in the pipeline, so you’ll still get a couple mailings, out to 4 or 6 weeks from when you called. My list of places I had called was front and partial back of an 8.5×11 sheet. Three years out I still get one piece every couple months, but it’s mostly dried up.
*The one category that never seemed to have a number was from Republican party direct solicitations (as opposed to PACs or what have you).
Totally agree that Rand needs to dial back the organizations that he lends his name to.
“Totally agree that Rand needs to dial back the organizations that he lends his name to.”
I could have made that a separate category. Mailers that make you think you are donating to the politician, but really the donation is going to some other group. Rand Paul and Ted Cruz seem to be the worst offenders from the Republican side.
My MIL is known for maintaining a mailing list and sending out cards on all the big holidays. If you know her, you will get a card for your birthday and Christmas at least. It’s one of the things people love about her. But she’s donated to a few things, so she has tons of stickers, return address labels, and calendars. Some of those she puts to use in her mailings.
Mine was exactly the same, and she also often used those free return address labels that some charities send out.
Calendars. I forgot the calendars. My wife takes them and gives them to friends.
2 hours, even.
The charities I donate to always end up harassing me after I donate. I find it tacky at best. It’s even worse when they sell my info to other charities.
Habitat for Humanity is one of the worst, which makes me uncomfortable continuing donations to them. They do good work, but their donor relations group is borderline abusive. Literally the day after a major donation, they called me and tried to get me to give substantially more because “Lowes is matching it”. I said “I donated $X yesterday, leave me alone” and hung up on them.
IJ is a nice and notable exception.
From the “It happened to me” Files.
If you hypothetically ever wanted to severely annoy, waste someone’s time, and potentially cost them money
A) Be sure you do not like them
B) Be sure you know their name and address
C) Be sure you really don’t like this person
D) Make sure they are a bad person if not you are one
Do the following:
1) Go to a doctor’s office, newsstand, library, or anywhere magazines are sold or available
2) Sign up the person to a new magazine subscription or ten using the enclosed mailing card
3) Be sure to choose magazines with content that they might like at first to make them believe that it was sent to them as a result of something they signed up for or mistakenly applied to
4) Then after a few month of doing this, start with the opposite content, to really let them know this is no accident and it was intentional
5) Don’t stop!!
Sit back and enjoy the annoyance, displeasure, and potential financial repercussions of:
1) This person having to spend 10-45 minutes at the beginning of each month per magazine to determine the process of and customer service call needed to cancel the magazine
2) The anger and confusion of why this keeps happening
3) The magazine company will keep trying to bill them and will eventually send them actual magazines, so there is potentially a collection agency that could be involved if not vigilant
4) The dark thoughts and fantasies generated by the victim about what could happen once the perpetrator is identified
Finally don’t ever do this to someone, it will make someone’s day extra shitty at the beginning of each month and it makes you a bad person.
I will never know for sure who did this, but I have my suspicions.
I know of someone who would fill out political donation pledge cards in other people names and turn them in at rallys.
This was in the long ago time before instant money transfers were available at every place on earth.
I used to give my best friend’s telephone number to the military recruiters who called me. My friend was a long haired hippie.
My mom also gets solicitations from organizations she never has and never would donate to, like the ACLU and Planned Parenthood. I suspect that either my sister got her on the list as a joke, or more likely someone who was angry at one of my father’s letters to the editor did it for revenge.
There was a time when the ACLU would have been a worthwhile donation. No longer, sadly.
Jeez, I just submitted this yesterday. We must be hard up for content.
yes
Very well. I shall make an emergency post and crank up GlibCar or something.
OT – https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/04/movie-industry-demands-us-law-requiring-isps-to-block-piracy-websites/
It’s that time of year again.
Archive.com hardest hit.
In the year since we moved to the new house, we’ve gotten maybe a half dozen things addressed to Mom. Mom died in March 2015.
She was shot multiple times and survived as well. Amazingly analytical in how she approached the situation.
Blackfoot is not far away. Stuff like that is extremely rare around here.
https://bethesda.net/en/article/4s2bXQEbpcrsdCZhUYLHAi/fallout-4-is-getting-free-updates
YAY!
(for my Steam version anyway)
Prime Gaming has Fallout ’76 available for free (PC/XBOX versions only, redeemed through the MS Store), as well as New Vegas, 3 GOTY, and Tactics.
Nobody needs 75 remakes of Fallout.
There are really only so many radscorpions and deathclaws a wanderer can kill after all.
Says there’s a native version for PS5 now. Might have to fire that up.
JamieRoberto, my kindred soul. I get a lot of dark looks when I make those exact same complaints. We are awash in an ocean of grifters.
Something like 1% of the human population produces ALL of the things we need to live. About the same number provide the services we need.
The remainder run around in circles exchanging pieces of paper or running some kind of con game. A huge waste of water, space and air.
I might have to get on board with the malthusians.