A few days later, I enrolled in welding school. I figured I’d be getting kicked out of the Army soon and I needed a back-up plan since I probably would not be able to get another Arabic job. My first meeting with the school owner was funny. Since I had said I was burned out on paperwork, he gave me a very quick orientation. It went something like this:
***
If you have a complaint, call this number. They will listen patiently and tell you I’m right. If you get a spark in your eye, tell us right away or you’ll need to get it drilled out at the hospital. Ready to get started?
***
So I had my first night of welding. It was fun and gave me hope that I could make a living after the Army. The next day, I got $10,000 in cash from the bank and paid off the welding school fees in a lump sum. It was pretty cool to have a stack of cash like that. I still have happy memories from breaking the band that had ‘$10,000’ printed on it.
Before I left to pay off welding school, I posted this message in the group chat.
***
I apologize for not being my normal cheerful self. You see, since August, I have been threatened with demotion once and an other than honorable discharge 3 times, as well as having a bar to re-enlistment in the works. Oh yeah, and then having to go to the 13th floor twice to prove that I’m not insane. One of the threats of an other than honorable discharge came from questioning the need to fill out a deliberate risk assessment form to pedal a stationary exercise bike. But the icing on the cake was when [my squad leader] said my SIGINT work is 90% meaningless. It was really great to hear that and then go off to my shift, whereby I walked past that big “PEOPLE ARE THE MISSION” banner. It was a real boost to my morale, let me tell you. And all the better since at the same time I’ve also been booze free for 90+ days after a decade long struggle against alcoholism. But it’s OK. In the end, I am victorious.
Well, I’m off to pay $10,000 in cash for my welding course. Good thing I’ve been frugal all these years. The way I see it, I’ve already won. If I get kicked out, I’m a free man. If I don’t get kicked out, I keep getting paid, not that I even need a job at this point. Folks, this is called being clever. Is it bad that my fondest memory of the Army is relentlessly mocking the stupidity of my interrogators while dressed as an ISIS member? Merry Xmas and God bless us, everyone.
***
Upon my return, I posted some more all the while getting bombarded with text messages and phone calls to make sure I was OK. Later that day I posted a message asking my squad leader to tell the story of the time he found the dead body of a soldier who killed himself. He didn’t respond, quickly left the chat, and I was banned shortly thereafter. Two sergeants came to my room and asked to talk with me. I said I just wanted to be left alone. I texted this message to a few people:
***
Despite it all, I’m glad I joined the Army and I’m proud of the work I did for my country. The key to happiness is freedom and the key to freedom is courage.
***
I admit that a few drops of testosterone leaked out of my eyes when I wrote those words. My Army adventure was coming to an inglorious end and soon I would have to start over somewhere else again.
Eventually, they came in my room and told me I had to go the hospital for a mandatory psychiatric evaluation. I figured I was going to get stuck there for a while, so I packed an overnight bag. To bolster my morale, I took a copy of Paradise Lost, an epic poem about the triumph of hope over despair.
Well, after I repeatedly denied being suicidal, I was coaxed into a hospital bed and agreed to stay overnight. About an hour later, I was told to get in a wheelchair so I could go upstairs and talk with a psychiatrist. When I went through the entrance of the psychiatric ward and the heavy doors were locked behind me, it became clear I would be there for a long time.
So everything I came in with was taken from me. I was told to strip to my underwear and then given some grey pajamas that made me look like a prisoner of war. It was particularly depressing to have my copy of Paradise Lost confiscated. Fun fact: hardcover books are banned in such places because they can be used as weapons.
That first night was a very long one. I spent many hours pacing and thinking a bare room with plastic furniture. I referred to my room as the Epstein Suite. When I was too tired to walk anymore, I tried to sleep, which is difficult when a guy checks on you every 15 minutes. I would give a quick thumbs up whenever I heard him enter.
The morning after, I had conference call with a psychiatrist. I was impressed that they were able to dig up a psychiatrist from my home state on such short notice. He seemed well-informed about me. We had an exchange that went something like this:
***
Me: I want to get the fuck out of this hospital and the fuck out of the Army!
Him: Harty, listen to me [he cups his hands to his mouth]. These. People. Are. Morons!
But they’re not going to let you out until you nod, smile, and color inside the lines, OK?
Me: [thinking: wow, finally somebody is talking some goddamn sense for once!]
***
Is this satire, or what actually happened to you?
Not satire, all this really happened. It gets even weirder.
So you did the welding school and decided you didn’t like welding?
About a month after I got my first welding job, I applied to NSA to be a code breaker. That was in August of 2021. They invited me to take a series of online tests. One was about determining the next number in a sequence, one was an IQ test with Raven’s Progressive Matrices, and the last was a test of spelling and grammar.
They never told me how well I did, but I haven’t been rejected yet, unlike the other NSA jobs I applied for. It was hard to stay focused on welding given that. I also applied to a couple of Arabic jobs before I was informed my clearance had gone into loss of jurisdiction around the same time.
I have the emails of a few Glibs, and I’m tempted to email them my documentation of these events. It was extremely unpleasant to have my honesty and sanity repeatedly called into question. I guess haven’t quite moved on completely from my ordeal.
My friend, sanity is a sliding scale. And when you work with gov’t spooks, I dont doubt anything you say here. As a mere 15N I wasn’t exposed to any of that.
But as the proud new driver of the 2000 Chevy (GEO) Tracker I inherited from my Dad (not dead yet), I did apply my 6th Cavalry, and other stickers to the back window.
I told one of the psychologists that all good soldiers are a little crazy. Sometimes people really are coming to take you away.
I believe you, the gov is insane inside.
I believe you, the gov is insane inside.
You can say that again!
What they said.
And I guess she dropped the “he just wants to date me” bit.
AOC reveals the horror of seeing a deepfake porn image of herself and why she wants to crack down on AI that has the same intention as ‘physical rape and sexual assault’
There was a politician named Samuel Pennypacker in the 19th century who tried to crackdown on political cartoonists. who kept making fun of him. Naturally, it backfired. Take note, AOC.
***
He also signed the Salus-Grady libel law, requiring newspapers to print the names of their owners and editors and making them responsible for negligence.[4] The Salus-Grady law also banned “any cartoon or caricature or picture portraying, describing or representing any person, either by distortion, innuendo or otherwise, in the form or likeness of beast, bird, fish, insect, or other unhuman animal, thereby tending to expose such person to public hatred, contempt, or ridicule.” Pennypacker had been insultingly caricatured as a parrot during his campaign, mindlessly mimicking the words of his political bosses. The passage of this law was widely criticized, not least by Pennsylvania cartoonists who immediately began depicting political figures as inanimate objects and vegetables. The furor was observed nationwide, and the law was never enforced.[9]
***
See also: woodchippers and Preet
Also, Gary Trudeau in “Doonesbury” was big on portraying political figures as inanimate objects.
Pennypacker did win the governorship. A dorm at Penn State is named for him. His cousin, Galusha Pennypacker, was a Medal of Honor winner in the Civil War and the youngest man ever to be a Major General.
Neat. There was a drummer boy who became a general simply because he refused to go away.
***
John Lincoln Clem (nicknamed Johnny Shiloh; August 13, 1851 – May 13, 1937) was an American general officer who served as a drummer boy in the Union Army during the American Civil War. He gained fame for his bravery on the battlefield, becoming the youngest noncommissioned officer in the history of the United States Army.
He retired from the Army in 1915, having attained the rank of brigadier general in the Quartermaster Corps; he was at that time the last veteran of the American Civil War still on duty in the United States Armed Forces, although others similarly aged and experienced such as Peter Conover Hains and Albert A. Michelson rejoined the military after World War I started.
By special act of Congress on August 29, 1916, he was promoted to major general one year after his retirement.[1]
…
Born with the surname “Klem” in Newark, Ohio, on August 13, 1851, the son of Roman and Magdalene Klem. He is said to have run away from home at age 9 in May 1861, after the death of his mother in a train accident, to become a Union Army drummer boy.[2] First he attempted to enlist in the 3rd Ohio Infantry but was rejected because of his age and small size. He then tried to join the 22nd Michigan, which also refused him. He tagged along anyway and the 22nd eventually adopted him as mascot and drummer boy. Officers chipped in to pay him the regular soldier’s wage of $13 a month and allowed him to officially enlist two years later.
***
80% of success is showing up.
Hadn’t known about Gen. Peter Hains. Middle name Conover and his parents from NJ. I knew I’m collaterally related to Pennypacker, but also have Jersey Conover blood connection too. Will have to dig into it.
Kind of the flip side to Winfield Scott. Served from before the War of 1812 to the Civil War, much of it as a general officer.
I don’t go to Dailymail (too many ads) but I have a friend who wants to know if there’s a link to the porn?
I’m coming up there tomorrow. And on my way home Im gonna clear out all the Claussen’s Hearty Garlic Dill I can.
Good luck finding any, they’ve been scarce as hen’s teeth for a year now. I’ve forgotten what they taste like.
Every time I read a chapter of your experiences, I get the impression that the Army stopped giving IQ tests to weed out the functionally useless.
Or they still give the test, and only want the bottom fifty percent.
Or the Army culture incentivizes incompetents.
My corporate masters are obsessed with DEI. Which incentivizes excusing incompetence and laziness. Fortunately, I’ve carved out a little pocket for myself and mostly get left alone. Thank goodness.
It’s mostly the third thing you mentioned. Smart soldiers know they have options, and so quickly tire of the reindeer games. Thus, those who remain either tolerate the bullshit or increase it. And then stuff like this happens:
BC Army Sgt. hit with mallet in hazing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG1YC0Okbts
It’s unexceptionally unlikely that was the first stupid and cruel thing that NCO did, yet because people were afraid to complain or their complaints were ignored, the cruelty continued and escalated.
uh, scratch that first “un”
My kingdom for an edit button…
It’s been so long since I left the army I can’t remember the silly stuff. At the time there were things that we did that didn’t make sense but I don’t remember them. Petty things, like having an inspection kit that was never used, always new and shiny. Friends in the AF at the time lived a far different life. OTOH their promotions were much slower. I’ve been retired 48 years now, a lot of the old friends are gone.
I don’t think I could handle today’s army, it seems like it is way too woke. Saw today that 70% of those contemplating enlisting are rejected. In addition many are allowed to leave soon after enlisting for incompatibility.
My opinion, for what it’s worth, is that the woke business started about the time the VN war was winding down. Women were integrated into regular support units, pregnancy was tolerated (with all the associated exceptions allowed). The old days of drinking were frowned upon, language had to change to avoid hurt feelings, etc.
On the one hand, conscript armies require harsh discipline because a lot of the soldiers don’t want to be there. On the other hand, because that resistance, the leadership is more prudent about what they impose on them.
With a volunteer force, the threat of discharge is generally enough to get the underlings to accept all kinds of absurdity.
I remember being in a transgender inclusion briefing and thinking that it did not bode well for the future of the US military. The Covid nonsense was another layer on top, as seen here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQX6ZSDUxA8
compare that to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EjRTcJcu64
Which country do you think will fight better in its next war?
Eh, the steamroller of the anthrax vaccine program was a twenty year precursor to the covid vax.
2nd vid: Holy shit!
Star Wars, 1950’s style: https://youtu.be/cUm3oRYV7yM?si=Tzl_JijL0h8cz9v2
That was really clever.
Honestly, I prefer that style outside Darth Vader.
That article posted in the PM links on illegals greasing the economy sure was some mendacious bullshit.
Next up, why higher gas prices are good for the economy. Followed by lower purchasing power leads to increased personal happiness.
What? I was assured that money only brings trouble and those without it lead the most fulfilling lives.
They were lying to me??
How is that different from anything else we have gotten from this admin? Everything they have done is the worst possible decision and they lie their asses off about the justifications and about the practical outcomes. Their main tack seems to be ‘believe us and not your lying eyes/bank statement’
Amazing to me that there isn’t more protest about what amounts to a full on war on our culture, ideals and citizens.
Worst possible decision for us and the country but not for them. They know exactly what they’re doing (maybe Biden doesn’t but the people pulling the strings do).
Mornin’ Stinky.
Yes. Someone yesterday described them as a de facto aristocracy which is accurate. They see to their own interests and treat the citizenry with absolute contempt.
Hey Glibs! Gonna be a nice post eclipse day.
🌄☕
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hv_zJrO_ptk
🎶🎶
It’s supposed to hit 70 today.
🥵
Good morning, Sean, U, homey, Stinky, and Suthen!
Today I intend to get to the bottom of why our payroll processor can’t seem to submit our 401(k) contributions to Big Retirement Investment Company – whether it’s ignorance on the part of the payroll processor or Big Retirement Investment Company unilaterally changing their rules/processes. I am very likely to give someone a bad day. 😒
Just make sure it’s not yourself.
I’ll do my very best to avoid that, but if I do get a bad day, I’ll definitely share it with those who deserve it.
I’m off to start with GoliathBehemoth EnviroCorp™.
Hello, Cleveland.
Be careful out there, homey!
After all, it is Cleveland.
Good morning! Total eclipse was pretty bitchin’.
I’m sorry to hear it was complaining so much.
The complaining was on the drive back.
Normal drive time to Plattsburgh: 2 hours.
Drive time yesterday: 3 hours.
Return drive time: 6.5 hours.
😲!
Traffic?
Yup.
And yes, the difference between “total” and “99% is night and day.
This is why I don’t like posting 20 minutes before the links. I’m giving you people gold!