Story of My Life – part 13

by | Apr 22, 2024 | Musings | 95 comments

We talked a bit about the hero’s journey, which is basically the lens I view the world through. He told a great joke which made me laugh. It went: what’s the difference between a psychiatrist and a patient? The psychiatrist has the key! Indeed, there’s a lot of overlap people crazy people and those who treat them. It was a relief to hear him say that his professional opinion was that I was not a danger to myself or others and he recommended I be released in 72 hours. When he asked me what I planned to do after the Army, I said was going to dig for dinosaur bones in Wyoming because it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. He remarked that I could have been a general. I was tempted to explain why it is hard for guys like me to be career Army officers but decided to just take the compliment.

Sometime after that, I met with a trio led by an Army psychiatrist. He presented me with two documents. If I signed the one saying I came voluntarily, I’d be out in three days. If I signed the other one, I’d need to get a lawyer and I’d be there longer. There was something darkly amusing about having to state I came voluntarily to a place I was locked inside. That psychiatrist was great though. If we had met randomly, we’d probably have become friends.

The psychiatrist told me during one session that the only reason I got a top-secret security clearance was because the first 25 years of my life were squeaky clean. I tried to assure him that I’m a quiet, private guy and that I wasn’t going to talk about Fight Club.

At least twice, I had to go into a room and answer many questions that were all variations of ‘are planning on hurting yourself or anyone else?’ Evidently state of the art mental healthcare in the 21st century consists of asking the same questions over and over. It seemed like I had to answer every question three times, akin to summoning Beetlejuice.

Another time, after spending several hours by myself staring at a blank wall, I was treated to a presentation on time management. There’s something of a Monty Python skit in that.

I became friends with one of the other patients. He was some kind of Army electronic warfare specialist. As I heard more about his story, it became clear that he was neither suicidal nor insane. He was there because his command team wanted to punish him for requesting lots of religious exemptions. I forget the exact name of his faith, but it sounded similar to Seventh-day Adventists. There was another Arabic linguist there from the Navy. He didn’t talk much and did seem genuinely depressed.

Well, the food was decent and there were plenty of crayons. Other than that, not such a fun place. The second day I was there, they let me wear the clothes I came in with and returned my copy of Paradise Lost. I spent most of the second day reading it. At night, I paced and contemplated for hours, particularly about the hero’s journey. A big insight was that the key part of the hero’s journey is the sacrifice. If you can let go of something you care about a lot because you don’t need it anymore, a great feeling of peace results.

At long last I was released. It was funny that I was prescribed extra strength sleeping pills after being on suicide watch. A few months later, I wrote an email about my experience there and sent it to some close friends and family. I called it My Wacky Suicide Adventure. All of the exchanges and events described below are accurate, if not exact.

***
I brought a copy of Paradise Lost with me. It’s about the triumph of hope over despair. Do you know what they did with the book? Go on, guess. They confiscated it, because it was hard cover, and they were worried I was going to bludgeon someone with it.
***

***
Her: List 3 coping mechanisms.
Me: [writing with crayon] brains, balls, cash
***

***
Me: This place sucks.
Her: [sing-song voice] could be worrrrrse….
Me, thinking: Gee, thanks Nurse Ratched. That’s *very* reassuring.
***

***
Him: Straighten up your bunk.
Me, thinking: So…this is suicide watch?
***

***
Me, thinking: Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought this would happen to me, but there I was, jerking off into a toilet in the suicide wing of a psychiatric ward. I mean, I’ve rubbed one out in a lot of weird places, but this takes the cake.
***

***
Her: What’s your favorite animal?
Me: Cats. Because they’re indifferent to human suffering.
***

***
Me: A wise man once said: enough is enough. I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane.
Him: Would you like a Royale with cheese?
***

***
Me: I find it very interesting that my drama queen antics got more attention than the actual suicides in my battalion.
Her: [nods and glances knowingly]
***

***
Me, walking to the exit: In the words of the great philosopher Supertramp, goodbye strangers, it’s been nice, hope you find your paradise.
Her: Thanks for the earworm, jerk.
***

***
Do you know what they gave me when I left suicide watch? Go on, guess. Hint: extra strength sleeping pills. Figure that one out, because I can’t.
***

I use humor to cope. It’s easier on the liver than booze. It was a traumatic experience, and it helps to talk about such things sometimes.

A particularly touching moment came when my company commander asked me to go to the gun club with a witness to verify that my guns were locked up. The female sergeant who came was a friend and I was awestruck at her composure. I’ve dated enough women to know that most would not react well to an invitation to accompany a recently released mental patient to view his gun collection. Alas, some months later we had a falling out which was my fault. Hopefully we can be friends again someday.

I spent the next four months finishing welding school. My unit was very cooperative in that regard. I was genuinely thankful that I was getting helped instead of hurt by them. Something very odd happened in December not long after my release. Class was over and we were cleaning up. A young woman was helping me. When I asked her name, she said ‘Lex, rhymes with sex’. I found that odd. She said it in a suggestive way, and I’ve been on enough dates to know that women do not normally talk like that. It was also odd that she also worked at Fort Gordon and just so happened to be at the same welding school as me the same night I was there. I never saw her again after that night and wondered if she was some kind of agent sent to monitor me.

About The Author

Derpetologist

Derpetologist

The world's foremost authority on the science of stupidity, Professor Emeritus at Derpskatonic University, Editor of the Journal of Pure and Theoretical Derp, Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Senior Fellow at The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute for Advanced Idiocy

95 Comments

  1. Derpetologist

    This recent article from NYT is tangentially relevant here:

    ***

    Government Surveillance Keeps Us Safe

    This is an extraordinarily dangerous time for the United States and our allies. Israel’s unpreparedness on Oct. 7 shows that even powerful nations can be surprised in catastrophic ways. Fortunately, Congress, in a rare bipartisan act, voted early Saturday to reauthorize a key intelligence power that provides critical information on hostile states and threats ranging from terrorism to fentanyl trafficking.

    Civil libertarians argued that the surveillance bill erodes Americans’ privacy rights and pointed to examples when American citizens got entangled in investigations. Importantly, the latest version of the bill adds dozens of legal safeguards around the surveillance in question — the most expansive privacy reform to the legislation in its history. The result preserves critical intelligence powers while protecting Americans’ privacy rights in our complex digital age.

    At the center of the debate is the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. Originally passed in 1978, it demanded that investigators gain an order from a special court to surveil foreign agents inside the United States. Collecting the communications of foreigners abroad did not require court approval.

    That line blurred in the digital age. Many foreign nationals rely on American providers such as Google and Meta, which route or store data in the United States, raising questions as to whether the rules apply to where the targets are or where their data is collected. In 2008, Congress addressed that conundrum with Section 702. Instead of requiring the government to seek court orders for each foreign target, that provision requires yearly judicial approval of the rules that govern the program as a whole. That way, the government can efficiently obtain from communication providers the calls and messages of large numbers of foreign targets — 246,073 in 2022 alone.

    Since then, Section 702 has supplied extraordinary insight into foreign dangers, including military threats, theft of American trade secrets, terrorism, hacking and fentanyl trafficking. In 2022 intelligence from 702 helped the government find and kill the Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahri, one of the terrorists responsible for Sept. 11. Almost 60 percent of the articles in the president’s daily intelligence briefing include information from Section 702.

    Although Section 702 can be used only to target foreigners abroad, it does include Americans when they interact with foreign targets. Not only is such incidental collection inevitable in today’s globalized world; it can be vital to U.S. security. If a terrorist or spy abroad is communicating with someone here, our government must find out why.

    Some of what is found via Section 702 is therefore sent from the National Security Agency to the F.B.I. The F.B.I., which investigates threats to national security in the United States, can then check that database for Americans under investigation for national security reasons.

    We agree that those queries raise legitimate privacy concerns. And those concerns are especially acute for public officials and journalists whose communications with foreign officials and other potential intelligence targets may be sensitive for political or professional reasons.
    ***

    LOL at the last part. No shit, Sherlock. Almost 250k foreign targets? Holy shit. I knew it was a lot, but that many? Wow.

    • R.J.

      The Greek Philosopher, Derpetes, counsels patience over firsting on one’s own article. He explained one of the great mysteries of our time; how the entire Glibertariat can go to dinner at the same time, despite their disparate locations in the world.

      • Derpetologist

        Eh, most of us are in the Eastern and Central time zones. Thus, when an article is posted at 7 pm central, the central Glibs are starting dinner. and the Eastern Glibs are in the middle of it.

      • R.J.

        Pie has gone to ground by now too.

      • Aloysious

        Is Derpetes related to Derpocles of the island of Derpkolos?

      • R.J.

        He is actually the cousin of Testicles, step-brother of Hercules. He did come from the island of Derpkolos.

      • Aloysious

        I’ve heard of that guy. He’s got quite a reputation for being a ballsy dude.

      • R.J.

        Yeah. “The legend of Testicles” tells us of how he drunkenly challenged Zeus to a one-legged kicking contest and lost. He then insulted Zeus with such a string of epithets that Zeus cursed all men with a low-hanging sack for al eternity, there for the kicking.
        That’s in “Derpecles’ Fables.”

      • Aloysious

        I need to read more.

        Taint hard, I just need to make the time.

      • Derpetologist

        Fun fact: the words testimony and testicle are related. In ancient times, it was thought that only men could be reliable witnesses at trials.

        Thus, testicles are “witnesses” to a person’s manhood.

      • The Last American Hero

        When did Testicles get his army of seamen?

      • Not Adahn

        You mean his pack of sturdy Trojans?

      • Pope Jimbo

        I thought he was famous for sacking cities?

        After successfully sacking a city he would throw not one but two fancy parties. That is why he is known for his balls.

      • Derpetologist

        Ah yes, taught by the great pre-Socratic philosopher Euriderpes of Cheetopolis.

      • Aloysious

        Cheetopolis. The home of tasty snacks and low hanging fruit in the Classic period.

      • R.J.

        “Euripedes trousers, you pay for dese trousers.”

        –Groucho Marx

      • Gender Traitor

        Heard/read a variation on that:

        Tailor to customer handing him trousers: “Euripides?”
        Customer to tailor: “Yes. Eumenides?”

  2. Aloysious

    If I had been in your situation, and I had been given crayons, I would have been tempted to go all Inspector Dreyfus and written ‘Kill Clouseau’ on the walls with my feet.

    Which more than likely would have been counterproductive even though I would have found it amusing.

    • R.J.

      GIANT crayon penis and balls drawn all over the walls.

      • Derpetologist

        I drew that on a sticky note once and put it on the NSA free speech wall once. Well, it was really a free speech wall. They routinely removed messages for arbitrary reasons.

      • Aloysious

        I’m surprised you weren’t arrested.

      • Derpetologist

        I did get handcuffed and interrogated by NSA special agents in October of 2021. The MPs made it clear that I was being held for questioning and was not under arrest. Had that been the case, it would have showed up on the subsequent background checks I’ve had.

      • Derpetologist

        *wasn’t really

    • Derpetologist

      visual aid

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKn1wcASbos

      I wasn’t warm enough in the POW uniform they gave me, so I asked for another top. Also, having spent 3 nights in a suicide-proof room, I’m certain Epstein didn’t kill himself.

  3. kinnath

    Government Surveillance Keeps Us Safe

    Fuck this shit.

    FedGov can spy on foreigners all they way. NOT FUCKING US CITIZENS

    • Derpetologist

      What if a US citizen is spying for a foreign government? Or is planning terrorist attack?

      Those are not hypothetical situations.

      Anyway, US citizens and other lawful residents lose 4th amendment protections as soon as a judge signs a warrant.

      I don’t subscribe to the idea of lawful citizens have nothing to fear. It’s just that people who tolerate TSA theater, license plates, and Social Security numbers have already ceded much of their privacy. I’d like to walk back some of that, but I don’t expect it to happen anytime soon. Stossel had a good take on it when Snowden leaked it all in 2013. Can’t find the video, but he said the income tax and the war on drugs bothered him more.

      It is possible to slide slowly down a slippery slope. Or be boiled one degree at a time.

      • R.J.

        “US citizens and other lawful residents lose 4th amendment protections as soon as a judge signs a warrant.“

        Exactly. Now the warrant won’t be necessary. I dislike that intensely.

    • Grumbletarian

      Can they though? The 4th Amendment begins with ‘The right of the People’, which, to me, doesn’t limit it to American citizens. It would be like saying the Fifth Amendment doesn’t apply to foreigners, so we can summarily execute any and all non-citizens for assassinating JFK. No right to due process for non-citizens, so no trial or evidence needed.

      • Derpetologist

        At NSA, I was taught that all US persons are covered by the 4th amendment.

        ***
        A United States person is defined as any of the following:
        A citizen of the United States
        An alien lawfully admitted for permanent residence in the United States
        Any corporation, partnership, or other organization organized under the laws of the United States
        Any trust or estate formed under the laws of the United States
        Any person in the United States
        ***

      • Derpetologist

        As I had to sign many, many consent forms there, I presume I effectively no longer have 4th amendment protections.

      • The Hyperbole

        This. Due process isn’t granted to some people just because we like them and want to give them a break, it’s granted to everyone because it’s the right thing to do. As we discussed a week or so ago, it’s why we shouldn’t beat confessions out of terrorists or kiddie diddlers, not that they don’t deserve a beating (if they are guilty) but it’s not a reliable way of geting information or meting out justice.

  4. Evan from Evansville

    BOOM! We’d get along in peculiar ways. Mostly in the Double Act sorta way. Couple bits especially hit: “At least twice, I had to go into a room and answer many questions that were all variations of ‘are planning on hurting yourself or anyone else?’”

    YEP! After knowing full-well I graduated high school and university; was an ESL teacher for ~12 years; then was Managing Editor of a print newspaper, they asked me if I could read. Cracking a smile and knowing the routine, I answered in the affirmative. “Can you write?” [Pregnant pause] “Yes, I am literate.” <— That deadpan encounter pleased me so.

    "Well, the food was decent and there were plenty of crayons." My place had GREAT food. Especially for hospitals, havin' good grub helps ease reality, makes it all go down.
    "The second day I was there, they let me wear the clothes I came in with and returned my copy of Paradise Lost." Getting your clothes back, just what you wore in, also relieves the psychological burden.
    "At long last I was released. It was funny that I was prescribed extra strength sleeping pills after being on suicide watch." <– Yep. That's pretty much when I got the good stuff. Even if it's just a placebo, it still works. My biggest beef w The People's acquiescence to medical 'experts' (pre-COVID): It's all better-formulated Snake Oil. Some actively work (morphine, benzos, coke) and others kinda-sorta-we-think(?) do.

    Until we understand how placebos work, we don't know shit. Until folk recognize that, they'll continue to buy shit. (Same shit, different name.) See also: All of human history.

  5. Derpetologist

    Amusing Russian anti-US song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HfSHOsqvUQ
    The Russian subtitles are off, but the English ones are OK.

    From MSN: It Would Only Take Months For Ukraine To Burn Through New Weapons Provided By Congress

    link

    • Not Adahn

      Why our weapons going to be used to burn Ukraine?

  6. Derpetologist

    NPRavda had the vapors this morning about racist/inaccurate historical markers, because clearly there are no other more pressing concerns at the moment. Anyway, this was mentioned and made me smile:

    ***
    On Lake Dora, at the turn of the 19th century, an alligator named Old Joe could be seen cruising these waters. Captains of the paddle wheel boats would point out Old Joe, the largest, fiercest and most respected alligator on the lake. It was said that he would eat not only fish but also deer and other large animals. Today when you see an alligator you are seeing one of Old Joe’s offspring. Like him, they are dangerous and are to be respected. This statue is for your enjoyment. Please leave the real ones alone!
    ***

    “Legend has it that Captain Jack designed the town flag.”
    -from The Simpsons episode Kill the Alligator and Run!

    https://www.hmdb.org/m.asp?m=145521

    https://www.npr.org/2024/04/21/1244899635/civil-war-confederate-statue-markers-sign-history

  7. Derpetologist

    ‘Dumb as f—’: Trump forced to hear mean tweets about himself in court
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUkTcjHP85M

    I can tell MSNBC viewers beat their meat like it owes them money when the watch clips like this.

    Oh well. Alva Bragg and pals are only exposing their own corruption.

    • Derpetologist

      *Alvin

  8. Shpip

    I spent the next four months finishing welding school.

    Jeez, after your experience in the Army, I wouldn’t have expected you to become a joiner.

    • Derpetologist

      [Kiff sigh]

      Your pun-fu is strong.

      • R.J.

        Shpip is the master, none can test his mettle and win.

    • Fourscore

      I’m going to bed. I’ll just solder on, I guess.

      • R.J.

        Stay up a bit! Be fluxible.

      • Evan from Evansville

        With respected adherence to our gliblish connections, he’ll try and caulk it up to his age.

        Confuse me once, shame on me…

  9. Derpetologist

    I was naive at the beginning. I had hoped that somehow, I was helping to protect the country that had been good to me and provided me with opportunities I wouldn’t have had otherwise. I was skeptical of the government from the get-go, and my suspicions have since been confirmed. All government programs exist first and foremost to enrich themselves. If they provide any public benefit, it is often incidental.

    Covid made me realize the whole idea of national security is a farce. The fact that so many people panicked over such a minor threat should be a lesson to future generations to always question authority. Even so, I had hoped to make a career of translating Arabic as I enjoyed it and spent so much time learning it. It pays well too. There’s not much chance of that now, and I don’t mind it anymore. If I went back to my old line of work, there’d be many hours of listening to make one report, which then might be read by a few dozen people. Sometimes it was interesting and satisfying, usually not. I do miss many of the people I worked with, as we had common interests.

    These days, I’d prefer not to work for the fedgov, though I’d consider any offer they made me. Teaching math is more useful, fun, and ethical. I think I’ll stick with that for the next 30 or 40 years. Plus I don’t feel like moving again. I have a cheap apartment near a beach. What more can a guy ask for? 

    • Aloysious

      You have an opportunity, perhaps.

      As a math teacher, maybe you could work in a little math history from the Arabic perspective.

      Or who invented the zero, and why that was such a breakthrough.

      I bet you can come up with a hundred different ways to make your future students minds turn to mush.

      • Derpetologist

        My first batch last year enjoyed my explanation of the incompleteness theorem and the halting problem. I came up with my own math curriculum, based on the Hungarian method. I wrote a condensed textbook for that as well.

        https://platedlizard.blogspot.com/2023/10/suggested-math-syllabus-for-college.html

        ***
        salted earth on May 2, 2020 at 2:42 am

        Your depth of knowledge is astounding.
        ***

        It’s weird. 3 years ago, I figured I’d be doing this by now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAD13c3UkS0

        In real life, he hallucinated all the code breaking, as he had schizophrenia.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Yeah! We can twist ’em OUR way!

        (My gig is only grading 4th Grade writing ‘essays’ now. I’m fairly clear. I did enjoy back in the day when I DID get to create/present/perform (teaching IS a performance) my own lessons. American schools are no place for me. Daycare-ing K-5 for four months reinforced that reality. Get the fuck OUT of those prisons, kids.

      • Derpetologist

        For those who can’t or don’t want to learn, schools are little different than prisons. For those who want to learn, schools are not necessary.

        Fun fact: the reason students move to different classrooms in junior high and high school instead of teachers is that the walking is meant to be a substitute for recess.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Agree on both points. “School” is a nice word for ‘place to learn.’ Depending on what needs learnin’, that can and should be anywhere. Let folk migrate to where they’re talented. Folk tend to migrate towards that shit. I agree with Asians+ that learning another discipline, regardless of financial purpose, is important to instill discipline TO learn. Havin’ kids go to where they’re talented sorts much of that. Having them learn math and to read is a requirement. Penmanship, optional.

        Another fun bit: Many/most(?) old public schools were built on prison/jail plans. They already had the design, corralling kids instead of inmates…kinda makes sense! The pronoun bullshit I recently experienced in my American sojourn was profound. Language is (again) actively being destroyed, this time from inside the house. It’s monstrous how pathetic my generation is raising their children to be.

    • Evan from Evansville

      “If they provide any public benefit, it is often incidental.” Status, universal currency of social primates.

      My/our generation collectively panicking over COVID was my Weimar Republik moment. Masses of people, all proudly bending the knee to a bullshit threat. Especially to young folk, cheering it on the loudest. They’re bringing us down with ’em. Such happy crabs, they are!

  10. Derpetologist

    Trump bodega visit: a cheering, multiracial crowd sings national anthem, chants “we love Trump”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Boq7c-FYlq4

    It’s gonna take a lot of fortifying to steal this election.

    • Brochettaward

      The funniest part is that Biden’s handlers thought they could duplicate some of that energy. Could have at least paid a couple of hobos to cheer or something. Offered a free sandwich.

      I’m reminded of the let’s go Brandon chants that broke out even on far left campuses. Who the fuck exactly did vote for Biden?

      • R.J.

        Dead people, and people he paid.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s who counts the votes that matters, now shut up and help me finish taping this cardboard over the windows so the observers can’t see in.

  11. Derpetologist

    From the article I linked in the inaugural comment:

    ***
    It is also true that the F.B.I. has broken the rules around these 702 database checks repeatedly in recent years. Agents ran improper queries related to elected officials and political protests. The wiretaps of Carter Page, a former Trump campaign adviser, also involved numerous violations of FISA rules. The Page wiretaps involved traditional FISA orders, not Section 702, but the bureau’s many errors there raised understandable doubts about whether it can be trusted to comply with other FISA rules.
    ***

    [anguished Zoidberg groan]

  12. hayeksplosives

    Thank you for sharing your dark experience.

    I have a special relationship with a three letter agency so I got nuthin.

    Be well

    • Chafed

      I’m still waiting for my pulse cannon.

      • Chafed

        Lol

  13. dbleagle

    Interesting Derp. The US military is an interesting animal. Plenty of first termers either trying to earn $ for college or paying off scholarships that provided cash for college. (Though biden shot that reason to join dead through the heart.) Then there are midtermers who still believe patriotism line, those that enjoy doing military skills, and a number who realize they can’t make it as well outside as inside. As the years go on the patriot and military stuff strands grow rarer as they are culled by those seeking the top positions in the enlisted and officer lines- jobs that are very political in nature and only increase so as you climb the pyramid.

    I truly believe the primary reason I was given the jobs I was given for the last 1/3 of my career was due to the wars starting and a realization I was useful to have around. Otherwise I would have been shuffled offstage at 20 because I frequently disrupted the status quo. I had a few champions and many detractors on 9/11.

    Still, you learned to weld and found out concrete proof of the old army saying, “Put you hand in a bucket of water. Now pull it out. The remaining hole is how much the military needs YOU.” at an early stage before you had to make a tough decision at around 10 years. I saw plenty of people who hated the last 10 years of their time in the service because they made the easy decision and not the one they wanted.

  14. Chafed

    Happy Passover! Who had a good seder?

    • Gustave Lytton

      I burned the brush pile today. No cedar, though.

  15. Gustave Lytton

    the food was decent and there were plenty of crayons

    Was the psych ward ran by jarheads?

  16. Tres Cool

    It’s far too early, and I had too many Tall Cans last night.
    But my client wants us on-site at 0600.

    Stack testing can be a cruel mistress.

    • The Hyperbole

      I’ll get out there but my ass-kicking days are past.

    • Brochettaward

      At the moment it’s a factory for trolls and misinformation that damages the brand of the company, but it does a lot of damage to social cohesion in the process.”

      They claim they aren’t trying stop the public debate over the matter…then admit they want to influence the public debate on the matter. How the fuck is sharing video of a stabbing misinformation? How can you argue that you aren’t about censorship when you admit you are prioritizing “social cohesion” and “safety?”

      • Brochettaward

        It is entirely unexceptional of a nation to say we want to take down some of the most violent and shocking footage, and somehow for them to say we’ve got freedom of speech, but we’re allowed to pollute the metaphorical airwaves with horrible vile and imagery – no one gets to vote for X.”

        No one needs free speech to say fuck cancer or puppies are great. These people are great at engaging in special pleading supposedly as to what free speech supposedly aint, but never actually define what free speech is.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You can vote against X by not consuming content on X (or by setting filters I’d guess)-it’s very easy to do but they never seem to think of that. What it comes down to of course is it’s not about protecting people, it’s about protecting the narrative and controlling information couched in nebulous feel good terms and they’re desperate to get a handle on it again.

      • Brochettaward

        Voting is a magical and sacred process that roughly half the population engages in which gives the government total power to do as it pleases. It’s nothing like someone simply making their own choice as to how to live their life and what companies they support. People are forced to participate in markets!

      • Brochettaward

        I had a philosophy teacher basically dock me on a paper for daring to suggest that people making their own choices in a market economy is in any way democratic.

      • Not Adahn

        Well, duh! Democracy is a type of government. And individual making their own choice without coercion is ungovernerd.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It’s buzzwords and meaningless catchphrases all the way down but it’s the way the whole damn world’s going.

    • Sean

      Those kangaroo fuckers can go piss on a light socket.

      • Brochettaward

        They’re standing up for all democracies (to have their laws enforced well outside the confines of where their people vote).

        It’s a bit like the Greeks voting themselves more of the rest of Europe’s money and calling it democracy.

      • Beau Knott

        The Greeks have a deep history of doing just that. Myteline anyone?

      • Gender Traitor

        Could you help a poor survivor of public schools out and point me toward a reference?

      • Beau Knott

        Thucydides. But Google/search engine of your choice for that or the Mytelinean Debate should hit the end-game. The history leading up to the Mytelinean revolt is a good example of the Greeks appropriating the wealth of others.
        Not that the Athenians were unique. Thebes, Sparta, et. al., were all brigands under the guise of law. To be fair, they weren’t that many generations removed from clannish highway robbers, the lot of them.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks! I did stumble across the debate, but skimming the Wiki on it didn’t turn up that particular aspect. I’ll read up on the back story. Thanks!

    • juris imprudent

      Stupid aussies – only American law rules outside of its own borders.

  17. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Massie talks about the intelligence meeting he attended with Speaker Johnson that supposedely changed Johnson’s mind and how it was nothing new:
    https://twitter.com/charliekirk11/status/1782495660631310424

    As I strongly suspected all along it was all a farce-his mind wasn’t changed, the meeting just provided cover.

    • Brochettaward

      The real meeting was when they showed up to his house with compromising info.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He didn’t need to be compromised I don’t think, he was just lying the whole time. In other words, he’s an old fashioned run of the mill political sleazeball.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Maybe, maybe not. We have a lot of scared pussy cats who think boogeymen are behind every rock and that if not for our glorious alphabet agencies America would be burned to the ground. I suspect he is one. And probably just your run of the mill political hack that saw the opportunity to gain cover; especially coming out of the briefing ‘white as a ghost’ theatrics.

      • EvilSheldon

        I do enjoy pointing out that progressives are terrified of everything, but honesty compels me to admit that conservatives are afraid of everything too.