ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. IT HAS BEEN A CONSIDERABLE TIME SINCE ZARDOZ HAS SHOWN HIS SUPERIOR ADVICE GIVING, OVER THAT OF THE BRUTALS. THE BRUTAL ADVICE GIVER “DEAR ABBY” IS EXCEPTIONALLY GUILTY OF BEING INFERIOR TO ZARDOZ. ZARDOZ SHALL GIVE PROOF OF THIS NOW:
Q: My niece, “Elle,” and her husband, “Liam,” have been self-employed for 20 years, but due to the economy, Liam decided to go into the workforce. He is now employed at a state job with great pay and benefits for them and their four children. Our family is elated for him and his family, except Elle. It’s unbelievable how determined she is to get her husband fired. She can’t stand for Liam to be away from her. She fights daily with him, telling him he has “chosen a job over his family.” They were always a nice family unit, but now Elle is destroying it because of the insecure, overbearing control she needs to have. It’s heartbreaking to see, especially since their teenage kids are looking for other places to sleep due to the constant arguments.
I wish I could make Elle understand that this job means they will no longer be struggling financially, but she doesn’t care. She wants to be near Liam at all times. The situation is awful. I can’t believe they may end up in divorce court because her husband got a great state job. Your thoughts on this, please? — HELPLESS IN PENNSYLVANIA
A: ZARDOZ HAS A SOLUTION FOR THE CLINGY BRUTAL WIFE. SHE MAY CHOOSE…
GRAIN SLAVERY
CLEANSING
AS A GRAIN SLAVE, SHE CAN SERVE THE VORTEX AND CEASE NAGGING. IF CLEANSED, THE PROBLEM IS SILENCED. ETERNALLY.
ZARDOZ WILL ACCEPT YOUR THANKS FOR THE EXCEPTIONAL ADVICE.
Q: My husband’s best friend, “Kevin,” lost his wife three years ago. He’s currently in a relationship with his niece (his deceased brother’s daughter). Kevin is in his 60s; she’s in her 50s. We find this disgusting and do not condone it. They are both from Portugal. Is this acceptable in other countries? We have tried to discuss it with him; he said he doesn’t care what we think. Kevin tries to plan things for all of us as couples, and we don’t want to be in their company. Am I wrong? I have known his niece for several years, and I don’t want to be unkind, but I just cannot be around them. His wonderful wife is turning over in her grave. — SCANDALIZED IN NEW JERSEY
A: ZARDOZ IS ALSO SCANDALIZED. NOT FOR THE SAME REASON AS THE NEW JERSEY BRUTAL. REMEMBER, THE PENIS IS EVIL! IT SHOOTS SEEDS THAT CREATE NEW LIFE.
EVIL.
HOWEVER, IT APPEARS THE BRUTALS MAY BE TOO OLD TO CREATE MORE BRUTALS, SO ZARDOZ WILL REFRAIN FROM CLEANSING THEM. HE WILL SUGGEST THEY BE ENSLAVED TO DELIVER GREEN BREAD FOR THE ETERNALS, JUST IN CASE.
WELCOME TO THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
YOU MAY NOW EXPRESS YOUR GRATITUDE FOR SUCH WORTHY ADVICE.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
I’m just here for the gift of the gun.
I really need to sit down in front of Gunbroker and start selling some of this stuff I’ve accumulated. I have too many guns to shoot, and not enough money to spend on new guns…
I can read the words, but this doesn’t make any kind of sense.
Any classic P series Sigs?
EvilSheldon,
I’m looking for a Winchester Model 100 or nearly any Rugers if you have any.
Uh, post a list here perhaps.
^Fed confirmed^
Any carbines?
Yeah? Welcome to my world.
Rugers, Winchesters? S&W’s?
List please
But what about the children?
https://www.npr.org/2024/04/18/1245217030/kids-guns-violence-training-shooting-firearms
It’s NPR so they needed to find something bad to say about it so they went with advertising them to children.
No fair indoctrinating kids and creating a culture! That’s our job!
Used to take my son to the club’s kid rifle training every Friday night. He learned to handle firearms safely and became a very good shot with a rifle (pistol not so much).
Like father like son?
Just kidding, but I recall you saying pistol was not a strength.
Yep. The Marine Corps put zero effort into teaching me to shoot a pistol.
“If they’re close enough for a pistol, they’re close enough fora grenade.”
As I recall: “A pistol is for fighting your way back to your rifle”
Or holding down paperwork in the wind.
If you have to use your pistol, you have already lost.
Fuck the children.
Not the gift of the steak?
#metoo
They are both from Portugal. Is this acceptable in other countries?
Are they in Portugal now? No? Then it doesn’t matter. As if it was real and not made up by the agony aunts to drum up readership.
HAIL ZARDOZ!
This makes me so happy.
Alt-text is icing on the cake.
In the ded-thred, Not Adahn made a curious assertion, to wit: (for people who matter).
Are those people that matter to you NA? Are they supposed to matter to me? Is this just a stupid human trick that I am too dumb to play along with?
I have a pretty good idea what people have my respect, and it generally isn’t people that think they are entitled to it. But I’m not a particularly good person myself, so maybe this is all just one of my flaws.
I didn’t take that as being directed at you personally, I think he meant the people who matter to the intellectual class and the powers that be.
Agreed.
Yeah, I didn’t take it personally. Though I do see that as fulfilling their fantasies about themselves and I have no interest in doing so. Not even when they wouldn’t be aware of it.
My opinion as to who matters is irrelevant to people who matter. Does that clear things up? Probably not. Return to context: Elie Mystal. He did not make a deal with the devil to become famous and respected among the PBR fan base, but among the PBS. He gets invited to the parties that Lizzy Brown and Ken White wish they did. Those parties are thrown by people who matter.
Call it a silly human trick if you want.
They don’t matter. It’s a deception that they believe in, for themselves. No reason to humor them in that.
In a perfect world they don’t matter, but in this world they’re setting the agenda.
I use that term, but I capitalize it . It really refers to people who think they and people like them matter, and nobody else. See, also, Our Masters.
‘Elle’ sounds like an absolute peach…
Note that Liam isn’t the one writing in.
Maybe she needs to read Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He’ll Quit That Stupid State Job.
I notice it’s never specified how she’s trying to get him fired. It sounds like she’s trying to get him to quit.
Yeah, it’s a real mystery why he wants to spend all day at the office.
She can’t stand for Liam to be away from her.
Is this due to her eagerness to serve?
Dear TPTB,
An article has been submitted for review.
ALL HAIL ZARDOZ!
May you be one with ZARDOZ!
Perhaps you shouldn’t have a 911 system subject to one single point of failure? But I’m just saying…
911 outages in several states caused by company installing a light pole
https://abcnews.go.com/US/911-outages-reported-states-us/story?id=109371506
That includes all of South Dakota, but that’s only like a few thousand people, right?
It’s not like it’s a ginormous container ship…
Is it really one single point of failure? Or is it one of many single points of failure?
A single point of many failures?
I just got around to reading this morning’s links. Is it possible that the escaped elephant is the reincarnation of Marvin Heemeyer?
I didn’t get the impression that the elephant did much damage.
Meeee-yow!
Sydney Sweeney, whom the world has often struggled to be normal about, has been caught up in yet another news cycle centered on her acting abilities and physical appearance. At an event last week, veteran Hollywood producer Carol Baum said that Sweeney is “not pretty” and “can’t act”—particularly in her blockbuster romantic comedy, Anyone but You, which Baum deemed “unwatchable.”
Sweeney subsequently defended herself through her representative. “How sad that a woman in the position to share her expertise and experience chooses instead to attack another woman,” her rep said in a statement shared with Variety. “If that’s what she’s learned in her decades in the industry and feels is appropriate to teach to her students, that’s shameful. To unjustly disparage a fellow female producer speaks volumes about Ms. Baum’s character.”
——-
Baum then made reference to her work as an adjunct professor at the University of Southern California: “I said to my class, ‘Explain this girl to me. She’s not pretty, she can’t act. Why is she so hot?’ Nobody had an answer. But then the question was asked, ‘Well, if you could get your movie made because she was in it, would you do it?’… That’s a very hard question to answer because we all want to get the movie made, and who walks away from a greenlight? Nobody I know. Your job is to get the movie made.”
At least they’re not griping about politics.
Her face is a bit off kilter, but I doubt many people actually look at her face.
Good grief this person I never heard of a few weeks ago has a remarkable ability to keep herself in the news.
Lemme guess….Baum is post wall and not presently working.
Not pretty? If your standards rule her out you should get one of those AI or robot barbie doll girl friends.
Me? I would prefer a not-perfect real woman that I can sit down with after a long day and talk about life with over a nice cup of tea.
I’ll take Sweeny…assuming she has a tolerable personality.
For those curious about the last round, the not was #1, potato buffalo flamingo. That’s from an animal I made up as a kid: potuffalomingo. It’s half potato, half buffalo, half flamingo.
Amorphophallus titanum is the corpse blossom. Its scientific name means giant deformed penis.
Spot the Not: Deus sex machina
1. The black stone inside the Kaaba in Mecca is seated inside a silver vagina sculpture.
2. A Shinto ritual involves attaching notes with pins to a giant wooden penis.
3. The medical condition of a painful, persistent erection is named after a Roman god depicted with an erection.
4. An Egyptian god known as the creator of all has his penis in his left hand and a flail in his right.
5. A Hindu god is depicted in the pose of auto-fellatio while also fisting an elephant.
6. This Aztec goddess of adultery and filth is depicted with a rainbow of “holy shit” around her mouth.
“It’s half potato, half buffalo, half flamingo”
YOU HAVE BROKEN THE LAWS OF MATH
Take it up with Al Gore and Manbearpig.
I just applied to 24 math teacher jobs. The school I want has 3 openings and is 30 minutes away. That’ll do pig, that’ll do. I already met the principal at the job fair, and he seem eager to have me.
I haven’t had the time to do any substitute jobs yet. The pickings are slim in the county I was forced to register in. I’m in the process of getting certified for the county Gainesville, FL is in.
Excellent. May you have full employment soon.
My knowledge of cultural history tells me that 5 is the not. That describes Saturday night at the Clintons.
Further to my prior comments:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKYF-8BZVYE
Any student of history knows #3 is true. Roman amulets to Priapus pop up frequently.
2 & 4 are true as well, leaving 1,5,6. 5 is plausible, just not sure about the elephant fisting part. I don’t know enough about Aztec gods to guess on 6.
The kaabaa predates Islam, so 1 is plausible… Tough.
Creosote Achilles is an Egyptian God. Who knew?
My wife is going to be away for a couple weeks walking the Camino de Santiago. I’ve added Zardoz to my list of things to watch while she’s away. Also Rammstein Paris.
I have a link to Zardoz in Archive, should you need it. It was on my movie post from a year ago and I believe it is still valid. Otherwise you should purchase it so it is forever in your streaming catalog.
I have friends that have walked the Camino. They plan to do it again. Apparently, it is a very rewarding experience.
I would like to do it someday.
She’s doing it with my sister who is getting older and wants to do it while she can. My sister isn’t that old, but she used to run marathons and ultramarathons so who knows how long her knees will hold out. None of her friends wanted to go, so she invited my wife. My wife and I will go another time and on a different route. Maybe when I’m retired and we can take more time.
That elephant story reminded me of a story from I don’t know how long ago about a similar episode, except the elephant who got loose hunted down one of her trainers and summarily executed him. Witnesses said it was completely purposeful and not random.
There’s a big annual parade in Kandy, Sri Lanka. One year some torches fell over. A really big male elephant stepped on the burning coconut shells, went crazy, and stomped a bunch of people in the crowd to paste.
“…purposeful and not random…and probably deserved.” From what I do know about elephants.
Her face is a bit off kilter, but I doubt many people actually look at her face.
I looked at the pictures in the article. She looks pretty cute, to me, but I might be a sucker for slight imperfection.
She has that pouty, unattainable model face which will age well.
I was looking at images served up by google search. It is clear that she is very attractive when a talented photographer gets in the right perspective in the right light. But there are the more casual photos out there that look just a bit “off” from different perspectives.
And, then again, lots of “beautiful” actresses looks like the housewife down the street when they are not made up for the camera.
I have done a lot of portraits. I usually get the model in a serious mindset like the pose lighting etc are a big deal. While they are sitting ready I fake-fiddle around with the camera as if I am not ready then tell a really bad joke, usually a bit off-color. Being ambushed like that they ‘break character’ and laugh out loud or display a bit of surprise smile.
*CLICK*
To husband/wife – “Here is a formal portrait of a model. Here is a portrait of your wife Susan. Which do you prefer?”
When given the choice of the formal or the candid I have never had a spouse/parent choose the formal.
IF CLEANSED, THE PROBLEM IS SILENCED.
I see what you did there.
Some thought on the October 7th war:
I know for a fact that NSA routinely shares military intelligence with the Israelis. I also know for a fact that they have the means and the manpower to spy on Hamas. Therefore, either they chose not to spy on Hamas, or they did and chose not to share that information with the Israelis. Given that NSA also spies on the Israelis, I lean towards the former, which means a catastrophic intelligence failure on the part of NSA.
The aircrews at Souda Bay could probably tell us some interesting stories.
Even at the time people wondered about that. It just seemed so… Orchestrated. I
Like I said, if NSA was spying on them, they knew what was going to happen. Having read 40,000 highly classified reports, I can tell you that Hamas never came up.
https://cnreurafcent.cnic.navy.mil/Installations/NSA-Souda-Bay/
So yeah, it’s an open secret. I met a few Hebrew linguists. They are a rare breed.
Why would our spying on Hamas be any better than what the Israelis do themselves? I would expect the opposite to be true.
My thoughts exactly. The NSA probably does not have any useful access to the comms channels that Hamas actually uses.
I don’t know what level of access they have for Hamas, and even if I did, it would be foolish for me to publicize it. I do know they have and can get access to similar groups.
At least 6 Americans are still being held hostage out of about a dozen who initially taken. 33 Americans were killed by Hamas on October 7th.
In my view as someone with insider knowledge, NSA failed its job that day.
link
I could easily see the NSA, as an apparat of the Deep State that (a) seems unconcerned with the survival of Israel and (b) equally unconcerned with the welfare of Americans, having some foreknowledge of the attack and deciding they were cool with it.
You know, I’m reminded at least a little about those Italian scientists under indictment because they didn’t predict an earthquake that caused considerable devastation. It’s quite possible that for all the arrogance of our IC, they aren’t any more competent than any other govt bureaucracy.
There’s lots of evidence to support that. Or at least bolster that viewpoint.
The Israelis have many enemies and limited manpower. Hence their dependence on NSA. The US also has more spy satellites, spy planes, etc. than they do.
In 1967 and 1973, they fought against militaries with a top-heavy hierarchy. It was easier to track and predict them. Their main opponents today are amorphous groups with a flexible chain of command.
I’ve read that the planning for 10/7 was done in person, probably mostly in the tunnels, with little to no electronic communication, because Hamas knows there is no such thing as completely secure electronic communication.
Or that could be the NSA and Mossad explaining away a catastrophic intelligence failure. Given the small size of Gaza, though, strictly in-person communication is plausible.
Had not heard the in-person thing but it would work. A wargame exercise called Millennium Challenge about 20 years ago was famous for a bunch of reasons. One is because the enemy forces (run by a USMC General named Van Riper) kept their communications secret by using in-person methods. “Motorcycle couriers” are the example usually given. Maybe they learned from that.
Egypt warned Israel something was coming.
AI Girlfriends You Will Date Before You Find The One
https://www.wsj.com/tech/personal-tech/ai-girlfriends-you-will-date-before-you-find-the-one-0056de58?st=invok9bspisehlu&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
I’m surprised that I found the WSJ on point and actually funny here.
Well done
I’ve seen that episode of Black Mirror.
Zardoz suggests a fishing trip.
https://imgur.com/gallery/varTHJJ
Beauty!
🙂
If there was ever a man that raised a boy right…
Best part of the photo is the look on the face to your right.
Well done
Dear Mr Zardoz,
About 15-20 years ago a good friend gave me a 1911 that he’d bought through the Civilian Marksmanship Program. Gun was like new, parkerized. I accepted it conditionally, that if one of his kids (2 B, 1 G) ever wanted it I’d be happy to return it. He assured me that that wouldn’t happen. Over the years I’ve pondered about what would be the fate of that gun should anything happen to me. Neither of my kids would have any interest in it and would either pawn it or sell it cheap.
A couple weeks ago we were both attending the same funeral and he asked me to bring it and give it back. I had never shot it, a light coat of oil annually. I was happy that he solved my dilemma. Was I right to be happy?
Apparently it was not a permanent Gift of the Gun.
Yes. You have a great friend. Your buddy also has a great friend.
Plus he shows up at HH and starts working right away.
Seconded.
Yes, you are right to be happy and a good friend to have.
Group projects. *sigh*
Our self-appointed group leader doesn’t understand the assignment.
This with the new daily grind? Getting up to speed and getting do at least do something interesting?
I’m completely lost and confused and I don’t think we’ve got a decent teacher amongst all the project leads.
I don’t know how my progress is compared to the other 43 people in my cohort.
Also, I’m a little hesitant about the client this company is working for (FB), as I find FB vaguely immoral or rather, their values don’t align with mine. Just how much of a whore am I?
Time to stage a sit-in at your boss’ office and demand they drop FB as a client . . . . . ?
I’m too old and lazy for that silliness.
Talking to Mrs F today, I told her in 20-30 years the protesters that got bounced at Columbia et al will wonder WTF they were doing. Booted from school, lost a year or two of their lives, their parents’ money. They should have watched more All in the Family and realized that Archie Bunker was right.
lol
Still amusing to me how he was supposed to be the villain of the show.
Ugh. Sorry about that. I’m still banging my head against shitty (and incorrect) documentation and really poorly managed processes at my company.
Imposter syndrome is real, I was surprised that I got a bonus since I feel like I’m not doing shit.
Personally, I don’t care about the values of my company. As long as I’m not being asked to do something against my values/morality, I at one point was working for a petroleum (-adjacent) company and the project I was in was a plan to cut headcount (downsizing).
They’re training AI bots to actively squelch questions about political topics they don’t like, or direct to the “correct” answer, e.g., climate change and vaccines.
We all know “anti-vaxxers” has ceased to mean “anti-all-vaccines for everybody of all ages” and now really only means “anti-COVID-vaccine.”
Ouch. Tough call.
Yeah. I would be sorely tempted to do some… interpretations… to the training.
Reverse psychology, somehow.
This re the new job?
Yep. First W2 job I’ve had in 20 years.
Two Trump jurors gone!
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-trial-juror-dismissed-anonymous-b2530882.html
Two Trump jurors gone!
Just make it a bench trial and declare him guilty.
Clicked too soon.
Just make it a bench trial and declare him guilty. Again.
15min break in Day 1 of New Gig, grading 4th Grade writing answers for Missouri’s state whatever-test.
It should not be challenging, other than navigating their new system. Good step taken!