*Buzz* *Buzz*
My phone vibrated on my desk. Wait. Its another Zoom.
”WILLKOMMEN, BROWN MAN! ON FOREST LAWYER, ESQ. PODCAST. HOST BY ME, STEVE SMITH, ESQ..” I should have known better.
”You know, its 0845. I have a real job.” I replied.
“I told you he would bitch out. Pfft.” Swiss waved his hands in the air. “Look at me all gainfully employed.”
“You’re general counsel to a quasi-legal multinational corporate entity. When people say they want to stick it to the man, they’re sticking it to you.” I replied.
”Heh, they wish.”
”ONLY MAN STICKING HERE BY STEVE SMITH. BY STICKING. MEAN RAPE.”
”I still can’t believe Rumble lets you get away with your schtick.” I said.
”By schtick you mean?” Swiss set it up.
”MEAN RAPE”. STEVE SMITH knocks it out of the park…
“BROWN MAN, WHAT YOU DRINK TODAY?”
”I found this in the back of the cooler at my local crack pipe merchant. Made by the same guys that make Alaskan Amber, called Wild Ness Alaskan Cold Beer. I have no idea what style this is supposed to be but it cold, its a bit fruity, not hilariously over-hopped—perfect for being shamed into drinking before 0900. Wild Ness Alaskan Cold Beer: 3.2/5.”
“HOW ABOUT CHEESE MAN?”
”I refuse to endorse a Dutch beer.” Swiss said.
”THEY SPONSOR SHOW CHEESE MAN.”
”No.”
”SHOW PAY FREE CASCADIA MOVEMENT!?”
“No.”
”C’MON”
”Fine.” Swiss held out an unopened bottle. “Our sponsor today is Grolsch. As a lawyer, I can respect truth in advertising. Grolsch: is it the only beer with the puking sound spelled phonetically on the label? YES, its Grolsch! When you lack the self-respect to drink your own urine—give Grolsch a try!”
”PROST!” STEVE drank quickly from an absurdly large stein and winced as he set it down.
Grolsch: Can you do better? Sure, but why bother?
“Yes…prost.” Swiss set the bottle nicely into a metal trash can he pulled out from under his desk. ”Grolsch: its better than a Wednesday afternoon in the red light district, but not by much. Were you laid off? Did your favorite soccer team lose again? Did your wife leave you for a buxom German broad? Don’t drink gasoline, drink Grolsch.”
“Do you need to drink yourself stupid before you slash your wrists in a bathtub? Grolsch!” I chimed in.
The awkward laughter was interrupted by STEVE SMITH’s phone chiming with the classic bluegrass ringtone.
”STEVE SMITH, FOREST LAWYER. YES. UH HUH. STEVE SMITH SORRY. BYE BYE.” STEVE SMITH set his phone down. “BROWN MAN, SPONSOR NOT LIKE YOUR PROMO. SPONSOR PULL OUT, BUT STEVE SMITH NEVER PULL OUT.”
”You have to be kidding me.”
“FIRST TOPIC: NETFLIX SHOW 3 BODY PROBLEM. CHEESE MAN.”
Swiss thought for a moment. “Weird, but I sort of liked it.”
”This show is a hopeless attempt to create sympathy for Scientology.” I said.
”What do you mean?” Swiss asked.
”It starts with a Chinese lady talking to aliens and assumed it was really aliens and not the CIA. Then the British government decided to invisible death ray a religious cult that talks to aliens on a ship. Then we find out the lady that murdered the fat guy from GoT is just a regular person communicating with aliens instead of her being some kind of hallucination. Then it ends when they freeze a guys head, hoping aliens pick him up somewhere in space after an Orion project launch goes ever so slightly wrong.”
”I was written by the ChiComs.” Swiss said. “Scientologists are sympathetic in comparison.”
”The plot though makes total sense. If my family was killed in Mao’s Cultural Revolution, I’d help aliens destroy humanity too.”
“NEXT TOPIC. FEMINIST MAN – BEAR DEBATE. BROWN MAN.”
”Let them pick bears.” I said. “Fewer women are less than ideal, but it raises the population’s average IQ.”
”You need to know how to defeat bears. The Army teaches they may be bigger, stronger, faster, but if you have access to a knife, some rope, and a hand grenade you can defeat it and survive a brutal winter night by hollowing out a cavity and resting in its body.” Swiss was steadfast in his response. “The next morning use its hide for a magnificent coat.”
”EXACTLY. RAPE BEAR.”
“Should we even be discussing this? I suppose we can see how the week goes. It might be burned out by then.” Sugarfree apparently entered the Zoom.
”HOW LONG YOU ON SUGARMAN?”
”The idea bears are attracted to menses is a bit of a myth. Its actually the scent trail left by following your urine trail left on trees, and the seed oil processed foods you took as provisions. They’ll get to you before the aliens—who are real, and Scientology is whacky enough the ChiComs will bag on them too…” Sugarfree said.
”SUGARMAN AGREE. RAPE BEAR.”
“Oh, that’s a given.” Sugarfree replied. “All feminist arguments fall apart when subject to tEh mAlE GaYZe.”
Wild Ness- Elliot’s great granddaughter?
I don’t know, is she hot?
Reading this made me feel like I was sitting next to Ted in Airplane! Exquisite!
That’s disturbing praise, thank you.
” I have no idea what style this is supposed to be but it cold, its a bit fruity, not hilariously over-hopped-…”. Kinda sounds like a Kolsch. Which is a recommendation in itself.
I don’t think it is. I drink a lot of Kölsch in the summer.
It may be a Cold IPA, a relative newcomer to the various types of IPA’s in the world. I’ve also seen Cold Ale used for various lagers (due to their colder fermentation temperatures).
The Wishing Star I mentioned downthread is a cold IPA. I think it might be my replacement for Fat Tire
Its not hopped nearly enough to be an IPA. THIS IS WHY I AM CONFUSED.
Warren Two Face is holding his meet and greet today. “You should pay taxes without complaining you ungrateful bastards but I’m going to go ahead and pay them at a lower rate.”
https://www.cnbc.com/2024/05/04/warren-buffetts-berkshire-hathaway-cut-apple-investment-by-about-13percent-in-the-first-quarter.html
Guilt by association
Headline: “Trump Media’s accounting firm charged with ‘massive fraud’ ”
Article: BF Borgers, Trump Media & Technology Group’s independent accounting firm, was charged by the Securities and Exchange Commission on Friday with widespread fraud and accused of operating a “sham audit mill.”
The SEC made no allegation of wrongdoing against Truth Social owner Trump Media (DJT), which is not mentioned in the charges from the regulator.
The SEC accused BF Borgers of “deliberate and systemic failures,” including “fabricating” audit documentation and falsely representing to clients its work would comply with accounting standards.
Anybody who scans the headline is likely to think Trump Media is actively engaged in a massive stock fraud.
Pandering reinforcement to those who already think his company is stock fraud before the story.
Think I’m going to look for a bottle of Redwood Empire’s stuff. Pretty sure it’s MGP like everything else but seems to getting good reviews locally. Or it’s astroturf.
According to these guys, it’s a blend of sourced and homebrew.
I’ve had both the Pipe Dream bourbon and the Lost Empire blend, and enjoyed them immensely.
Found Lost Monarch. Do like the bottle art on the current stuff.
Trump Media is chaired and majority owned by former President Donald Trump, who is also the most popular user on Truth Social.
Even though Trump Media has achieved a valuation north of $9 billion on Wall Street, the company generates little revenue and Truth Social remains a relatively tiny player in the social media world.
Truth Social’s average daily active US users on iOS and Android fell 19% year-over-year in April to 113,000, according to Similarweb, a data intelligence company. X, the app formerly known as Twitter, has more than 300 times as many users.
It’s a scam.
I think it’s how Trump has figured how to get payola from Wall Street. The Clintons with their fake charity have to be absolutely green with envy.
Last night I drank 2 beers from Highlands in Asheville – a lime lager (I think meant to be like a Corona) and Wishing Star. Wishing Star was excellent. The Corona imitation was top 3 worst beers I’ve ever had.
Trying to imitate a Corona is…weird. Your result doesn’t surprise me.
I enjoy a Corona occasionally…this beer tasted like water with a little bitter aftertaste. Blech!
Although, my tastes have changed since I had the ‘Vid in 2022 – maybe a Corona would suck now, too.
Carona has always sucked. Now you might just notice it.
Viva el Pacifico!
Asheville is the beer capital of the world
Asheville is the Appalachian knock-off of Fort Collins.
Fr. Collins is just a knock off of Boulder.
Friar Collins?
Yes, That son of a bitch just copies everything.
Asheville is a festering leftist cesspool. I blame that dead end of the Vanderbilt line.
Asheville is also home to a lot of ex-Clevelanders.
fun fact: when Grolsch came to Romania my mom washed the empty bottles ans used them for home made tomato juice due to the reusable closing system
They are regularly used by home brewers in the US. I didn’t have any, but I have some Uerige ones, which are the exact same thing.
I have a crapload I saved for home brewing. I actually don’t mind Grolsch. Fun fact, according to a Dutch guy I knew, it’s pronounced more like “Hrolsh”.
Which makes Swiss’s joke even better.
Management theory
Customers are sometimes irked by service fees, but China Live owner George Chen said that he gets very few complaints. He distributes 70% of the service fee to front of house and 30% to back of house, a system he says is beneficial to his employees.
“With the service charge, they know that if we’re busier, that money will trickle down to them,” Chen said. “That makes them work better, more efficiently … and instead of just a job they feel like they’re part of the success of the business. I see it in morale as well. I haven’t had almost any turnover.”
Aside from its potential impact on employee retention, the ban on restaurant surcharges would force him to increase menu prices, he said, which would negatively impact business.
Delusional, or just completely full of shit?
Isn’t the service fee an increase on prices?
Last time I was in California, I didn’t tip at any place that had a service fee.
a friend recommended 3 BODY PROBLEM book to me but it sounded like commie crap so i passed.
Its not overtly communist, if anything its somewhat critical of Maoism.
A couple years ago I scanned the wiki for the original novel – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Three-Body_Problem_(novel) – (and sequels).
Sounds like absolute gobbledygook – even after being translated from mandarin.
Supposedly its a Netflix remake of the translated version of the show.
I didn’t even finish it. The characters were just completely wooden and I had zero interest in any of them.
I get that it was translated from Mandarin, but you don’t get high praise for just trying.
I don’t understand all the positive hype – to the point I suspect ChiCom astroturf.
*deletes from watchlist*
EPL relegation update part 2.
In part 1, in yesterday afternoon links, I mentioned that Luton’s chances had decreased slightly after their draw with Everton.
Today, Nottingham Forest won and Burnley lost.
Current odds of survival, by my calculation:
Forest 90.1%
Luton Town 7.4%
Burnley 2.5%
Burnley needs to win their last 2 games, plus a lot of help.
Luton needs at least a win and a tie, plus a lot of help.
Nottingham Forest controls their own destiny. Plus they have an appeal of their point deduction that needs to be settled, so if they get anything back, it could make the rest of the season moot. Without any points coming back, a win effectively clinches for them (Luton would have to overcome an 11 goal differential deficit) and a win and draw guarantees it.
riveting
😀
The possible twist in the tale is the last day. If Forest don’t get any points back and if Forest (at home to Chelsea) and Burnley (at Spurs), both lost their second last games, then the last day is Forest at Burnley. Even with that, the GD will probably be too much. OTOH, Luton go to West Ham then host Fulham.
Aomboon Deasy, owner of Oakland restaurant Pomet, hadn’t heard this news until this reporter informed her. At Pomet, she charges customers a 20% service fee that is evenly distributed to employees instead of tipping.
“Oh my god, it’s so expensive to buy anything from DoorDash,” she said. “… There’s so many fees. I’m charging one service charge that takes care of people having to calculate gratuity for their meal.”
Bless her heart.
First.
🤣
@Trashy, I watched this and thought of you and GlibFin: Why I stopped listening to Dave Ramsey. He articulated a lot of what I had been feeling about Dave’s approach, albeit I haven’t been in a position to do Dave’s program, either.
Approximately 4 hours with two teenage boys. Comics were acquired, conversations were had, candy store was visited, chicken was consumed.
Overall, a solid day.
Excellent. Solid investment in the future.
New home:
https://ibb.co/xGRGydz
https://ibb.co/xSZhVW4
The good news: those trees should provide lots of shade and keep things relatively cool.
The bad news: there’s skeeters in them there woods, and they’ll come out every evening.
Those silver buckets are citronella candles LOL
I’ve been getting those citronella wrist bands for when I walk out in the evenings. Pretty handy so far – visiting the bayou in Louisiana as well.
w00t!
That looks very nice (and I do note that you’re aggressively combatting the insect visitations already. I continue to miss living back East.
Hopefully (given the article title and contents) you won’t have any ursine visitors.
Unless you’re into that…. I don’t judge ’round these parts.
I have no idea to what you are referring, good sir. 😉
Also I bought a screened-in pop up gazebo – should be here Tuesdee
😃👍
Malo Gato over at the Bad Cattitude substack has a theory about the Cluster B crowd that always gravitate to campus “protests:” (lack of capitalization his)
between the munchausens by proxy of the guilt ridden and purposeless trust funders who seek to champion the “marginalized” because they themselves are so privileged and bland to the inescapable allure of ideals like “the marginalized should be lionized” to large groups of very marginal people it’s the perfect trap.
it snares the the “don’t quite belong here” or “not quite keeping up” parts of academia, the kids too awkward and weird to go to parties, the ones who got in on diversity and equity and whatever else and cannot hack engineering and get sucked into the “explorations of aggrievement through indigenous pottery” department and wind up radicalized not because they are radicals or wanted to be, but because it was the low energy path to feeling some sort of purpose and unity in a university environment that was simply too much for them. it sucks in rich kids furious at their own privilege and ready to stick it to mom and dad and their whole worldview.
it’s a big tent.
Whole thing is worth a read.
He’s always worth a read.
One does wonder how they fit in their classwork. 🙄
“Fewer women are less than ideal, but it raises the population’s average IQ.”
Solid post, mexi. This was a genuine LOL.
Gracias
Tulsi Gabbard:
“ The Democrats Have Turned on Dr. King. It’s Time to Return the Favor”
https://www.newsweek.com/democrats-have-turned-dr-king-its-time-return-favor-excerpt-1896301
I think I’m sufficiently prepared for the Kentucky Derby this evening.
I have the juleps covered, and the wife is making Kentucky Hot Brown sammiches (wives are excellent sandwich makers, don’tcha know).
I know only half the bottles in the pic are actually bourbon, but I drink the other stuff to maintain my joke-telling. I’m always getting called out for my rye wit.
Nice!
I didn’t make a silly hat this year. Usually I get a cheap straw hat at the craft store and glue on a bunch of flowers, feathers, bows—very wonderfully tacky.
No mint juleps at kinnath’s place. Tonight, we are drinking Carménère.
At my house, that would rate a Chile reception.
Purple Angle (%95usd). Needs to be cellared for awhile. I think I’ll buy half a dozen and tuck them away for a while.
6 drinkers, 5 bottles. We’re wussies, but I still can’t type.
If this weren’t a DC court and the prosecution admitted to lying to the Judge I would expect consequences.
As it is… I expect a great glopping helping of “… and nothing else happened.” OMB, after all.
Whoever convinced Gordon Ramsay to put his name on frozen dinner is a fricken genius. Stouffer’s is finna be out of the frozen lasagna bidness.
Really. I have a family size Stouffer’s lasagna in the freezer waiting for a special occasion. I’ll have to look for Gordon’s.
Gordon’s is single serving (although if it’s successful, maybe he’ll make family size). Far less sweet than Stouffers. I have the chicken Caprese in the freezer now…I’ll try that tomorrow.
May the Force and Children’s Day tomorrow. It’s juvenile weekend.
Our “friends” at Google finally pushed me over the edge on my Android TV Nvidia Shield TV.
Nvidia gets no say and Google pushed another fucking row of ads on the home screen. So now there is one row of like 5 apps that is useful. The rest is 100% ads and content you can’t turn off.
I just spent 4 hours adding my pihole dns server to the device and researching and replacing the stock Home Screen launcher. Without a doubt PROJECTIVY is the way to go. It defaults to a clean customizable interface that is like Android TV of 5 years ago.
My Sony/Android tv has a setting to remove all that crap from the home screen. It turns off all the recommendations and shit.
You used to be able to do that, but Google won’t let the remain compliant without the launcher. Maybe Sony cut them a deal.
Highly recommend side loading this:
https://github.com/yuliskov/SmartTube
*tap tap tap*
Oh yeah, it’s called “Google TV” now. The setting is called “Apps Only Mode”. Unfortunately, it still shits a bunch of apps I don’t want down the screen. Perhaps they are things I can delete.
But my usage is pretty simple. I watch cable 95% of the time. Sometimes I watch Pluto or Tubi. That’s it. I don’t need anything else.
*Cough
ROKU
*Cough
Roku tries to push a lot of shit, too.
https://www.androidcentral.com/streaming-tv/roku-ceo-video-ads-home-screen-confirmed
Tranquility Base is open for the season.
(Hidden behind the corner post of the patio roof, up against the next door neighbors’ yard barn – their giant STEVE SMITH silhouette!)
Nice. Wishing you many relaxing hours out there.
I just had a homemade chocolate shake and am heading to bed for a nice nap.
Lovely