IFLA: The “RIP Ben” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of May 26

by | May 26, 2024 | IFLA | 142 comments

I tried to find a video involving Ben, but I don’t have a good system set up. But Ben was a good boy. A very good boy. And fortunately(?), like most cases of undiagnosed cancer the time between him being visibly unaffected and the time he passed was brief. Ben was the exemplar of the positive Golden Retriever traits – friendly, playful, active, gentle, and of course very good looking. He and Lily were friends, if not common playmates. He had a good life, swimming, exploring and generally being active for all but the last two weeks of his thirteen-plus years. He will be missed, not just by his Arian heretic PCUSA preacher owner, but all of the morning crew at the dog park.


The enthusiasm in this relationship is a bit lopsided.


This week is full of loss. Today is the ragged edge of the good things we had last week, with that Jupiter-Venus relationship kinda-sorta-still-there-if-you-squint, but by tomorrow it’s well and truly gone. To be replaced with a Mercury-Saturn one. So toxicity, and endings of a particularly abrupt and/or unplanned nature. Mercury is a fickle little bitch, so it leaves that hookup, and proceeds to… Mars. Also not good. But in a different way. Monday is more “drop keys down the storm drain” and Tuesday is more “get punched in the face by some homeless guy.” Fortunately that doesn’t last long either and we get a couple of days of blissful boringness until the Moon decides to pay a visit to Saturn on Saturday (Saturn’s day) at which time we get back to the “unexpected loss/endings” but this time with a focus on domestic and/or nautical incidents. Doubly bad if you live on a houseboat I guess. There is also a clear warning not to eat fish on that day. If you take your houseboat out on the lake this weekend and catch your dinner, do NOT blame me for what happens to you.



Gemini: 3 of Cups reversed – [NA didn’t give us a draw for Gemini this week. -Editor]

Cancer: Queen of Swords – Widowhood, female sadness and embarrassment, absence, sterility, mourning, privation, separation.

Leo: 5 of Coins reversed – Disorder, chaos, ruin, discord, profligacy.

Virgo: 5 of Wands – Imitation, strenuous competition and struggle, gold, gain, opulence.

Libra: 6 of Cups reversed – Experience leads you astray

Scorpio: 4 of Wands reversed- Prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.

Sagittarius: 9 of Swords – Death, failure, miscarriage, delay, deception, disappointment, despair.

Capricorn: 9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity.

Aquarius: 7 of Cups reversed – Desire, will, determination, project.

Pisces: The Empress reversed – Light, truth, the unravelling of involved matters, public rejoicings, vacillation.

Aries: King of Wands reversed – Good, but severe; austere, yet tolerant.

Taurus: 3 of Wands – Established strength, enterprise, effort, trade, commerce, discovery


About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

142 Comments

  1. DEG

    Disorder, chaos, ruin, discord, profligacy.

    Sufficiently shitty.

    Nice dog videos.

    • juris imprudent

      Capricorn: 9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity.
      and
      Aries: King of Wands reversed – Good, but severe; austere, yet tolerant.

      Another interesting week for house Imprudent. Not quite double negative.

    • Chafed

      Seconded. I miss my boy and the dog park.

  2. Gender Traitor

    Scorpio: 4 of Wands reversed- Prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.

    Oh, well now, THAT’S all right! 😊

    Cancer: Queen of Swords – Widowhood, female sadness and embarrassment, absence, sterility, mourning, privation, separation.

    Ruh roh! My (married) older sister is a Cancer! 😳

  3. The Gunslinger

    “Capricorn: 9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity.”

    Surprise, surprise, surprise.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 9 of Swords – Death, failure, miscarriage, delay, deception, disappointment, despair.

    I should run out and buy $1,000 worth of lottery tickets.

    • Chafed

      I got the same one and I’m calling bullshit. My week ended with an attorney accepting the job offer I extended and this week child 2 gets honored at National Honor Society. Take that you stupid star charts.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        Win Win!

    • Chafed

      I never heard of him. That was good.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        He was Nick Cave’s first guitarist, back before the Bad Seeds.

  5. juris imprudent

    Arian heretic PCUSA preacher

    That’s an interesting mental image.

    Some brimstone, baritone, anticyclone, rolling stone
    Preacher from the East

  6. The Other Kevin

    “This week is full of loss.”

    Just what I want to see heading into a tournament. Hope this applies to the other teams.

  7. slumbrew

    Gemini: 3 of Cups reversed – [NA didn’t give us a draw for Gemini this week. -Editor]

    That’s progress – we’ve been flat-out left off in the past

    • EvilSheldon

      Whenever NA skips a sign, I assume that it’s something we just shouldn’t ask about…

      • slumbrew

        “You don’t wanna know”

    • slumbrew

      Needs a pistol for scale.

      • Chafed

        So true.

    • Timeloose

      Is it bigger than a toilet seat?

  8. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Holy shit am I hung over. I can’t keep up with those hard drinking South Carolinianses

    • Don escaped Texas

      South Carolina is too small for a republic and too large for an insane asylum – James Petigru

      SC: a state a half step more unhinged than my native MS

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        It’s like the time I went to a rehearsal dinner for a wedding between a Brit and a Mainer (in Maine). Most of the guests were Brits because the Mainer bride had lived in London for, like, 10 years. There were maybe 10 Americans there out of ~100 people.

        The next day (wedding day), I had never been so hungover. Luckily the wedding was on Lake Kezar so I just literally walked in the lake in my clothes. All the Brits were up bright & early to take advantage of the tax-free shopping in NH.

        https://ibb.co/N2dZnmJ

      • juris imprudent

        I thought the Irish were heavy drinkers, until I spent two weeks working in London.

      • slumbrew

        I have commented that, should my drinking ever get ut of hand, I could just move to the UK where it would be beneath notice.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        I think the most beer I have ever had in one night was when I went to an Indian restaurant in London. Outside Calcutta and a few truck stops here on the west coast, there is no hotter food.

      • slumbrew

        My next door neighbor is a Brit – his mates still hit the pub and start necking 3 pints an hour for 5+ hours before a football match, and continue throughout the match.

        7 or 8 hours of just crushing pints (albeit Bud Light or similar). Weekly.

        They’re in their mid 50s.

      • R.J.

        Holy crap. Two drinks is a nice weekday. Three is getting steamy. No way I could keep that up.

      • Chafed

        There is a name for them: alcoholics.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        Nope, alcoholics go to meetings!

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        When it comes to wedding drinking, the Irish bow to no man.

      • juris imprudent

        Exactly what I expected Zwak. Love that bit.

      • slumbrew

        I don’t even have to click on that, Zwak.

        “I don’t drink-drink”

      • slumbrew

        (and I screwed it up. But still)

      • R.J.

        Me too. Why so quiet? Are you pensive?

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        Where’d you go, JR?

      • R.J.

        Coming back!

  9. The Other Kevin

    Got storms all day today, some of them strong, so for the first time we’ve postponed our annual Sausage Fest until tomorrow. Hope none of you are rained out.

    • Timeloose

      Sorry Kevin. Sunny and hot here today. I’m ok with that. It rained every weekend this Spring so far.

    • Don escaped Texas

      I got lucky: they predicted thunderstorms

      which didn’t happen so I got a round of golf in Saturday first thing

    • slumbrew

      Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

      Don’t need a bunch of roller derby ladies cranky about not getting their promised sausage.

      • Timeloose

        Let’s hope they don’t try eating the baby.

      • Chafed

        Wut? You definitely need to explain that one.

      • slumbrew

        TOK’s wife does roller derby and a bunch of her teammates are due to attend the Sausage Fest.

    • R C Dean

      *looks outside*

      Crystal clear and pushing 100 degrees here in Tucson.

      *checks forecast*

      And . . . For the next week, too.

    • Annoyed Nomad

      “Sausage Fest”? Are you talking about Glibs.com?

      • slumbrew

        Different sausage fest.

  10. R C Dean

    Sorry to hear about Ben. The Dean Beasts are both 13+ years old, which is absurdly old for the breed (British Staffordshire Terriers). The Big Dumb One looks and acts half his age – my theory is he’s just too dumb to know he’s supposed to be old. He doesn’t even have much gray on his muzzle.

    His sister (littermates) is pretty much snow white from her nostrils to her ears. Hips are pretty stiff, only really gets out of a walk when she sees her food bowl. Sleeps hard; every morning when I go to get her up, I hold my breath, but so far, so good. I’m pretty sure that one morning, she’s not going to wake up.

    But every day is another gift.

    • Chafed

      That it is. Enjoy them while you can.

  11. Evan from Evansville

    I’m glad Ben was a fit as could be as long as he was. [Mr.] Peabody is 13 now as well. He’s still remarkably fit for his age and we hope it lasts as long as possible. He always has the most comfortable and fun home and family ’round. It’s the best possible for everyone involved.

    I’m sorry for your loss. Take care, Ben. You’ll finally find that tail you’ve been chasin’.

  12. juris imprudent

    Well, that was interesting. Went out to the backyard to get the smoker running (for a porkloin) and I opened the gate (wiremesh on woodframe) and there was a large snake – corn snake I think – woven into the wire and wood, just kinda chillin’. He eventually slithered off into and then out of the yard. I’d say he was a good 5 feet long, maybe 6.

    • R C Dean

      Good eatin’ on a snake . . . .

      • juris imprudent

        Identity was confirmed – rat snake (and since my Burning Man handle is Rat Bastard – I couldn’t even think of doing him harm). It was funny because the wife had asked if I’d seen any mice and I said no and she said “he must be doing his job”, which is exactly what rat snakes do.

      • R C Dean

        I leave the snakes around the Casa Dean be. Unless they are rattlesnakes, then they get the shovel (or, in extreme cases (call it in excess of 3 feet of snake), the .410 derringer. And only then if they are in the back yard or the front curtilage. Every predator in the desert here lives on pack rats, and we have a never ending avalanche of them coming down from the mountains. I’ll take whatever help I can get with those little fuckers.

    • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

      You should have…

      Smoked him.

      • juris imprudent

        As I thrust my hand thru the gate to unlatch it, he was hanging out – just about crotch height. Yes, I jumped.

    • EvilSheldon

      Corn Snakes are awesome.

      • Not Adahn

        “Red next to black is a friendly Jack.”

        “Rednecks to Black are friendly, Jack!”

  13. cavalier973

    Robert F. Kennedy Jr. on Sunday became a candidate for the Libertarian Party’s presidential nomination, a shocking move that could give him enough votes to defeat Donald Trump or Joe Biden in November.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13461623/rfk-jr-libertarian-trump-biden-party-presidential-nomination.html

    His candidacy was short-lived, however. He was eliminated from contention after the first round of voting, having receiving support from 19 delegates, just 2.07% of the vote.

    …..

    Kennedy, however, won some cheers by promising to pardon government whistleblower Edward Snowden, currently exiled in Russia, and drop espionage charges against Julian Assange, the WikiLeaks founder battling US attempts to extradite him from Britain.

    He also slammed both Trump and Biden for their response to the covid pandemic.

    ‘Maybe a brain worm ate that part of my memory, but I don´t recall any part of the United States Constitution where there´s an exemption for pandemics,’ Kennedy said, referencing a New York Times report that he was diagnosed more than a decade ago with a parasite that lodged in his brain.

    ‘Neither of them upheld the Constitution when it really counted,’ he said of Biden and Trump.

    ……

    Trump, in his remarks on Saturday, got feisty with the crowd.

    ‘You can either nominate us and give us the position, or give us your votes,’ Trump said to boos as he departed the stage.

    Trump repeatedly snapped back at the crowd and their hostility, telling them at one point to ‘keep getting your 3% [of the national vote] every four years,’ adding ‘maybe you don’t want to win.’

    • creech

      I thought Trump touched enough libertarianish bases to pry some votes away from a doomed Libertarian ticket. Nor did his speech encourage any Trump voters to decide to vote Libertarian instead. So how did inviting him to speak accomplish the Mises caucus desire to make the LP more hardcore libertarian ?

    • rhywun

      Always the gracious one. 🙄

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, that was my only question – how would he act in front of something other than an adoring crowd. He certainly could’ve been worse – which would also be in keeping with candidates for the LP presidential nomination.

      • The Other Kevin

        “Given that the 2020 Libertarian vote for president in Arizona and Georgia was greater than Biden’s margin of victory, this could turn out to be a consequential moment for Trump’s campaign.”

        There it is. I think he’s got a much better set of advisers this time, and he’s listening to them. I’m seeing some pretty good strategy lately. Meanwhile, if you don’t vote for Biden you ain’t black, you’re a deplorable.

      • Chafed

        Who are you referring to TOK?

      • The Other Kevin

        I’m not sure who’s behind he scenes, but he is seen with Vivek a lot, and Vivek was pretty savvy in his own campaign. And Scott Adams might be advising him either directly or indirectly. I’m not seeing a lot of RINO fingerprints.

    • Chafed

      I don’t like him but he isn’t wrong.

  14. Tres Cool

    “a shocking move that could give him enough votes to defeat Donald Trump or Joe Biden in November”

    Stop it. You’re killing me.

    • R.J.

      heheheheh! So true.
      Also the whole LP party can fuck off if they really do nominate Kennedy.

      • rhywun

        Perhaps they mean steal enough votes from Donald for Joe or vice versa – certainly not in favor of Robert.

    • R C Dean

      You mean, 3% plus 4% doesn’t equal 51%?

      • Chafed

        I was also having trouble with their math.

  15. juris imprudent

    Hahaha – sure to move some votes! That pic – I wouldn’t want an endorsement.

      • R.J.

        “CNN reported that Secret Service agents confiscated some of the rubber chickens ahead of Trump’s speech.”

        Are you detaining my cock?

    • rhywun

      Two snaps up for Joe!

  16. Sensei

    Why Sensei doesn’t watch the Indy 500.

    Delay…. Race. Caution. Race. Caution… Caution….

    It’s been decades. Now I remember why. Let me know when this gets fun.

    • R C Dean

      It’s been a blast. Really fun race. “Caution” generally means “something really interesting just happened”.

      • Sensei

        I never thought I’d prefer the race that only turns left, but I do.

    • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

      I thought about you today, Sensei. I was BSing with a woman at the dog park, someone who I talk to all the time. And I noticed that her Highlander had a fender mirror. Looked a little closer, saw it was RHD, and marked Surf.

      JDM import from when she was a RR carrier. She hated working for the G, but loved her oddball truck so much she was looking to get a second one.

      • Sensei

        There is lots of JDM stuff being eligible for import now, but I’m just not sure I want to deal with RHD and finding parts

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        There is a JDM specific guy in Portland (of course) so we are pretty lucky. I have had my eyeballs periodically checking BeForward for tintop Suzuki’s like this https://www.beforward.jp/suzuki/jimny/bt217496/id/7603277/ but the wife does not give me those approving eyeballs.

    • juris imprudent

      Didn’t watch the whole race, but did catch the end and HOLY SHIT, that was some racing.

      • Sensei

        End made a lot of the earlier bs easier.

      • trshmnstr

        Eh, it’s manufactured. It has ended the same way (with 1 and 2 trading spots at each end of the track in the last lap) most of the last 10 years.

        It’s what happens when being the leader is a liability due to everybody having the same car and a deficit of power.

    • trshmnstr

      I was too young to really know what was going on in the CART/IRL split, but I can recognize that something was lost in the intervening time that has never been recovered.

      I go back and watch some of the 80s and 90s races and, even though they’re technically less competitive, they’re more exciting. The cars were part of the story, as were the drivers and the teams. Today, the drivers could have been driving spec Camrys around the track IROC style and the broadcast wouldn’t have been much different, aside from the speed.

      There’s also something just wrong about the fact that the green flag laps turn into a drag induced freight train. Yeah, you get leapfrogging (not as bad as a decade ago, but just as pointless), but there’s no actual gaining on or losing ground to your competitors.

      It results in a feeling of pointlessness until 20 to go. Keep your nose clean and stay on the lead lap until 20 to go, and then try to leapfrog your way to the front for the inevitable caution and shootout with a handful of laps to go.

      Oh, and they need to fix the cautions. It has been 20 years of it taking 10 laps to clean up from a single car tapping the wall. Put the guy in the med van, tow the car, pick up the pieces and go green. We don’t need 3 laps of pit stops and 4 laps of droning around while the street sweepers clean up the tire bits so that the cars can actually use the track again.

      Anyway, I’ll stop before this gets to be an article-sized rant. I used to like indycar and watch most of the races, even though I thought they were trending away from the fundamentals of good racing. Eventually I lost interest. I tune in for the 500, mostly for the nostalgia and to hear some names I haven’t heard since the year before. We had the local weatherman interrupt about halfway through today, and I wasn’t too torn up about missing the second half of the race.

  17. Grummun

    Scorpio: 4 of Wands reversed- Prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.

    The clowder at Schloss Grummun has increased by one grey short hair stray, maybe 10 weeks old. However, It comes with built in eye infections (and possibly an upper respiratory infection). Vet bills are more like the opposite of prosperity.

    • R C Dean

      + 1 sack and pond, some assembly required

      j/k

      Best of luck to the li’l fuzzball.

    • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

      I am BAFL’d by this comment.

      PS, I linked the best of Australian guitarists above.

      • R.J.

        How many are named Bruce?

      • The Hyperbole

        You linked to Radio Birdman?

      • The Hyperbole

        Also would have accepted Dom Mariani

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        Don’t you mean… Harvey Birdman?

      • The Hyperbole

        Did you get that thing I sent you?

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.
    • Chafed

      So basically high school football.

    • rhywun

      Collingwood seem to be sucking this year. 🙄

      • Raven Nation

        Oddly, they’ve drawn two games this season. It looks like the Swans are a cut above everyone right now. Geelong has fallen in a hole.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Newgarden wins with a bold bold last lap move in three. I’m okay with that. I was kinda rooting for O’Ward at the end.

    • juris imprudent

      Going back to back is rare enough it was worth rooting for Newgarden. Plus looked like his wife wanted to double his bonus.

  19. ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

    I swung by the local brewery with the wife the other night, picking up some beer to go along with dinner, and, as they are also a distillery, a bottle of vodka to try. Quite good, so we are moving from Turkish Coffee Stouts to Gin and Tonics.

    • juris imprudent

      I’m not much of a gin fan, but a gin & tonic on a hot day is refreshing.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        Whopping 67 American here today…

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        Also, should have said Vodka tonics. As I picked up a bottle of Vodka…

      • juris imprudent

        We were mid 80s which is more July than May.

  20. westernsloper

    RIP Ben. Goldens are awesome dogs. My Golden, Pete, died when he was 13 as well. I waited a long time to adopt another dog and now this now knuckle head I have is going in for the snippetey snip Tues. The Vet talked me into the stomach sew thing so I am looking at shelling out a bunch of money next week.

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      I, too, am a golden retriever fan.

      I’ve lived with 4 in my lifetime. They are beautiful. They are gentle. They are loyal. They are goofy. They are somewhat smart.

      • westernsloper

        My experience is you can’t keep them out of the water. At least that was Pete. He didn’t care if it was the frigid Pacific Ocean when he was a puppy, a lake in Colorado when I was windsurfing and the dumbass followed me out in the lake, a coy pond in Oklahoma or a ditch anywhere, Pete would lay in it, swim in it and or flail in it. He would then stand up excitedly panting with his tongue out of the side of his mouth as he moved his ears back waiting for praise because he knew I loved him and by god, what he just did was awesome. And it was. Smelly wet dog awesome.

      • R C Dean

        I’ve had six pits (four Am Staffs, two Brit Staffs). Not very bright, astoundingly athletic, utterly devoted and completely companionable. Stubborn as stones (whoever decided to cross terriers and bulldogs had to have been drunk). Not the easiest dogs, but I have a hard time imagining anything else around the house.

      • westernsloper

        Dean, are those the freakingish giant Staffs?

      • R C Dean

        No, just your standard issue ones.

  21. westernsloper

    I am sure you short bus riders covered it/discussed it when it happened but WTF? Chase Oliver? So not voting at all this year it is.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Libertarian nominee Chase Oliver:99% of drag queen story hours are fine for kids. If he had children, he says he'd bring them to one and leave them there."It's just like the Wiggles" pic.twitter.com/grNYFtAVHQ— End Wokeness (@EndWokeness) May 27, 2024

      Complete disaster.

      • Sean

        🙄

  22. Brochettaward

    I missed it. Did the LP do a thing today?

    • Ted S.

      If you were first, you wouldn’t have missed it.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If you mean did they manage to squander their brief moment of relevence, yes they did.

  23. Beau Knott

    Good morning all!
    Today’s a twofer, Concrete Blonde’s
    Tomorrow Wendy

    And an
    acoustic version.

    Share and enjoy!

    • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

      Excellent choice.

  24. Fourscore

    Morning Ted,S and Beau,

    Any others that forgot, missed, didn’t see.

    Another rainy day and Monday so a twofer but what do I care?

  25. Fourscore

    Garden is in, bees are a-buzzin’. Cut a little grass yesterday and then the blade belt came off. I need help doing an easy chore, the bones don’t work so well any more. Mosquitoes are enjoying the cool weather but in spite of my efforts they seem to find me while I attempt to sleep.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, rhy, Stinky, 4(20), Beau, and Ted’S.!

      A trifle damp at Tranq Base this morning, but the rain has stopped, the sun is out, and birds are singing! I had pulled a few plants and the hummingbird feeder into the garage to protect them from potential severe storms, and there WAS some tree damage in neighboring suburbs, but all is well at Chez GT/TT! Hope all is well where all of you are!

      • Sean

        😀

    • Gender Traitor

      Q: How can you tell when an Amish kid has gone bad?

      A: He starts wearing his hat backwards.

    • Not Adahn

      “Civil unrest?”

    • rhywun

      taken measures to prevent teens and young adults from crowding the beaches and boardwalk at night, including an 8 p.m. beach curfew, 8 p.m. ban on backpacks on the boardwalk, and an overall 11 p.m. curfew on the boards

      “Because the city of Wildwood can raise your children better than you can.”

    • Fourscore

      Catalytic converters cause murders! Ban ’em!

      • Gender Traitor

        Common sense catalytic converter control!!

  26. Not Adahn

    Arian heretic PCUSA preacher

    That’s an interesting mental image.

    Today’s PCUSA doesn’t really care about theology or Christology. They’re not quite UU or Unified Church of Canada…yet.

  27. Not Adahn

    Good morning everyone!

  28. Not Adahn

    Gemini: 3 of Cups reversed – [NA didn’t give us a draw for Gemini this week. -Editor]

    Sometimes the meaning is just so obvious I figure it’d be insulting to spell it out for you.