Stoic Friday LXIII

by | May 10, 2024 | Advice, LifeSkills, Musings | 124 comments

Last Week

Meditations

How to Be a Stoic

How to Think Like a Roman Emperor

Seneca’s Letters from a Stoic

If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)

This week’s book:

Discourses and Selected Writings

Disclaimer: I’m not your Supervisor. These are my opinions after reading through these books a few times.

Epictetus was born a slave around 50 ad. His owner was Epaphroditus, a rich freedman who was once a slave of Nero. Though he was a slave Epictetus was sent to study philosophy under Musonius Rufus.

Epictetus was lame and there are some stories it was caused by his master and others that it was caused by disease.

He was a freedman when all philosophers were banished from Rome in 89 by the Emperor Domitian. He then started his school in Greece, and had many students. He did not leave any writings from his lessons, but one of his students, Flavius Arrian, took notes and wrote the Discourses.

Epictetus did not marry, had no children, and lived to be around 80-85. In retirement, he adopted a child that would have been abandoned and raised him with a woman.

He died sometime around AD 135.

He might be my favorite Stoic teacher. I love his bare bones and very straight forward approach.

Following is a paragraph-by-paragraph discussion of one of his lessons. Epictetus’s text appears in bold, my replies are in normal text.

What is the distinctive characteristic of error?

Every error involves a contradiction. For since he who is in error does not wish to err, but to be right, it is clear that he is not doing what he wishes. For what does the thief wish to achieve? His own interest. Therefore, if thievery is against his interest, he is not doing what he wishes.

For non-psychopaths, this is true. People with a conscience do not like to be doing things against what is right. People can do a crazy amount amount of rationalization. This is how they justify their actions or beliefs and actually convince themselves that they are in the right.

Now every rational soul is by nature offended by contradiction; and so, as long as a man does not understand that he is involved in contradiction, there is nothing to prevent him from doing contradictory things, but when he has come to understand the contradiction, he must of necessity abandon and avoid it, just as a bitter necessity compels a man to renounce the false when he perceives that it is false; but as long as the falsehood does not appear, he assents to it as the truth.

Cognitive dissonance has always been a thing apparently. As long as a person is capable of ignoring what should be an obvious contradiction, then they are capable of doing things against what is right. While they do this, they can convince themselves that what they are doing is actually good.

He, then, who can show to each man the contradiction which causes him to err, and can clearly bring home to him how he is not doing what he wishes, and is doing what he does not wish, is strong in argument, and at the same time effective both in encouragement and refutation.

I wish it was this simple and all that was required would be to show that  they are acting wrong and it contradicts what they said earlier. Unfortunately people have a seemingly unlimited ability to justify their actions and beliefs in the face of evidence that they are incorrect. I am probably susceptible to this as well, but I do try to be aware of that possibility.

5For as soon as anyone shows a man this, he will of his own accord abandon what he is doing. But so long as you do not point this out, be not surprised if he persists in his error; for he does it because he has an impression that he is right.

Pointing it out by itself is not enough, somehow you would have to convince them. I have been unable to do this in many conversations with my mom and other people. It always seems to end with, “We’ll just have to agree to disagree”. That leaves me dumbfounded. How do we do that when you are rejecting facts for emotion?

That is why Socrates, because he trusted in this faculty, used to say: “I am not in the habit of calling any other witness to what I say, but I am always satisfied with my fellow-disputant, and I call for his vote and summon him as a witness, and he, though but a single person, is sufficient for me in place of all men.”[1]

If you are dealing with an honest person then this principle would work. Instead, I hear “Do you think you’re smarter than Fauci?” I always answer, “Maybe not, but I am honest and actually have my best interest at heart.” Since they “follow the science” and I “Do my own research”, it is easy for them to dismiss facts and follow the stupidity. It is disheartening when this happens.

For Socrates knew what moves a rational soul, and that like the beam[† 1] of a balance it will incline,[2][† 2] whether you wish or no. Point out to the rational governing faculty a contradiction and it will desist; but if you do not point it out, blame yourself rather than the man who will not be persuaded.

The key to this is dealing with a “rational soul”. It seems like more people see politics as a team sport and never look any deeper than that. When corruption is obvious and the answer from them is always “But Trump”, or “But Biden” depending on which issue and who I am talking to, there is no convincing them of anything against their team.

If I point it out and they refuse to see, I have a tendency to blame them at that point, but maybe if I was more articulate, I could actually convince somebody.

About The Author

ron73440

ron73440

What I told my wife when she said my steel Baby Eagle .45 was heavy, "Heavy is good, heavy is reliable, if it doesn't work you could always hit him with it."-Boris the Blade MOLON LABE

124 Comments

  1. R.J.

    “…and that like the beam of a balance it will incline”
    It’s lunch, I read that as “bean.” Ranch Style Beans time.

  2. R.J.

    “People can do a crazy amount amount of rationalization. This is how they justify their actions or beliefs and actually convince themselves that they are in the right.”

    Sometimes I wonder if it was as bad back then as it is now. Knowing human history, I bet it was. Always are the weirdos saying 1+1=3.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      When you consider that human sacrifice was a thing, there must have been a heck of a lot of rationalization going on.

      • Nephilium

        Well, if you didn’t sacrifice your first born, then the gods would punish you. You don’t want to be punished by the gods, do you? And if you’re not getting punished, the rest of the villagers who are having bad luck will of course blame it on the gods punishing them for not punishing you. That punishment may be the rest of the villagers sacrificing you to appease the gods. Since everyone else has already done it, you know there’s no risk to you if you do sacrifice your first born.

        Therefore, it’s in your best interest to kill your first born.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Well I’m convinced. My first born is a pain in the ass anyway.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Huh..adds up for me too

      • Nephilium

        Just a quick example of a line of thought that provides a rational reason for something terrible. Modern people are no different, look towards the Milgram experiment and the Stanford Prison experiment.

        Hell, walk into an office building dressed appropriately, with a laptop bag over your shoulder, odds are you’ll get well inside the building before anyone questions why you’re there.

      • EvilSheldon

        Can confirm.

    • ron73440

      There are many references in Stoic writings about how to deal with people changing definitions and arguing minute details while ignoring the larger point, so it’s not a new thing.

  3. kinnath

    I see the headlines in google news are moving away from pro-Palestine toward anti-Israel to describe the demonstrators. Looks like the machine is moving away from supporting the pro-Hamas assholes.

    • Urthona

      On the one hand, I think it’s embarrassing for left wingers to be associated with these people.

      On the other hand, people are taking less about immigration and inflation… things that actually matter to voters. Maybe that’s smart.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Not moving away, repackaging based on focus groups (read: news/comments/etc).

    • R C Dean

      That’s definitely an improvement. I think I’d prefer “pro-Hamas”, though, given the outright hatred directed towards Jews that is a feature of at least some of these demonstrations, rather than (mere) opposition to Israel. I mean, when you are jumping Jewish students on campus, you’re not really expressing opposition to Israel, are you?

      Kettle the encampments. Arrest them all. They self-police who is allowed in, so the odds of sweeping in a bystander are pretty low.

      At a pro-Hamas rally here in Tucson, the reporter noted that “somebody” had passed out cards with contact info to use if you get arrested. Naturally, neither then name of the “activist” nor the organization to contact were mentioned, much less followed up on. I honestly think that was just because journalists are lazy and stupid.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Existential threat

    President Joe Biden has framed his rematch against Donald Trump as a referendum on democracy and abortion rights. But November is not just about “freedom.” It is also a “climate” election, as a number of Biden environmental initiatives hinge on the outcome at an absolutely critical juncture for the planet.

    ——-

    That dangerous future is, in many ways, already here—and experts warn that far more “drastic” action will be needed to ward off even more catastrophic climate change. A Trump win in November wouldn’t only prevent the “maximum ambition” United Nations Secretary-General António Guterres called for at COP28 last year. It would take U.S. policy in the opposite direction. “Donald Trump is selling out working families to Big Oil for campaign checks,” as Biden campaign spokesperson Ammar Moussa put it to the Post Thursday. “It’s that simple.”

    If Trump wins, the earth will be a barren smoldering lifeless rock in a matter of months.

    • Sean

      Will we get roaming gangs of cannibals too? Like the ones that ate his uncle.

      • slumbrew

        True story, Jack.

      • Ownbestenemy

        No joke!

      • Bobarian LMD

        If I didn’t have my pool chain, they would have got me too!

      • Ted S.

        I misread that at first as roving gangs of cannabis.

    • The Other Kevin

      They keep beating that dead horse, but outside a few hard core commies, climate change is way down on people’s list and cheap gas is way up.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Nobody they know voted for Nixon.

  5. Sensei

    Speaking of making an error.

    Musk Says Tesla Will Spend $500 Million on Charging Network, Following Layoffs

    In a post on his social-media platform X on Friday, Musk wrote, “just to reiterate,” Tesla will spend “well over” a half-billion dollars to expand its Supercharger network, including creating thousands of new chargers this year.

    “That’s just on new sites and expansions, not counting operations costs, which are much higher,” Musk added.

    So if you plan to expand your network it makes sense to wholesale fire the people that run it. Not sure how he plans to do that with zero people. Perhaps it might have made more sense to do a targeted reduction…

    • Fourscore

      Maybe it a giant transformer that you plug into an outlet in your garage? No assembly required.

  6. Fourscore

    “Do you think you’re smarter than Fauci?”

    Maybe and I try not to lie.

    I have more lived experience than either Fauci, Joe or Donald, should count for something.

    • Nephilium

      I find that I usually overestimate other people’s intellect and interest overlaps with myself. I also have learned that I’m a terrible teacher, I feel bad for anyone who had to suffer through a training I had to present.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      I lack his low cunning.

      • Drake

        Yes. And I have a conscience.

    • Bobarian LMD

      I am clearly not as morally bankrupt.

    • R C Dean

      “Do you think you’re smarter than Fauci?”

      “Actually, yeah, I do. Keep in mind, he’s a family practitioner who never specialized and hasn’t actually treated a patient in over 50 years.”

    • Ownbestenemy

      Ah, good call on linking that!

  7. CPRM

    I won’t link, but I was surprised TOS out some videos that are kinda sorta anti-gender affirming care. Huh. Tide must be turning amongst the cocktail set.

    • kinnath

      what? genital mutilation is losing its cachet?

      • The Other Kevin

        It’s way out of fashion in a lot of Europe, but here the influence of big pharma and big surgi-center seems to be greater.

      • kinnath

        Strike while the iron is hot.

        Cash in while you can. Then move on to the next grift.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Genital re-certification?

  8. ron73440

    I still remember one time my mom told me it’s not her fault I read more than her and knew a bunch of things she didn’t.

    Did that make her reconsider what we were discussing?

    No silly, why would it.

    • Sensei

      But it did shut down the discussion, right?

      Mission accomplished.

      My mother drives me nuts in different ways.

    • Mojeaux

      My brother “debates” by demanding the same fucking thing over and over again.

      “The Republicans have been fighting for OTC birth control since forever.”

      “But have they?”

      *bewildered* “Yes. I just told you they have.”

      “But HAVE they?”

      “Um…”

      “But HAVE they??”

      “Do you want the bill number? I can look it up.”

      “BUT HAVE THEY?!”

      This is how the left “debates” now. There is no getting through that.

      • The Other Kevin

        They learned this on college campuses. Remember when some people barked?

      • Nephilium

        After the first question, I would have probably just said, “Too bad Democrats killed the bill, and forced birth control to require a prescription.”

        Then turned around the questioning back on them when they said that wasn’t the case.

      • Mojeaux

        I’m not that quick on my feet. I’ve never been opposite a “debate” like that and had no idea what to do with it.

    • EvilSheldon

      I wonder who’s fault it would be?

    • ZWAK will kindle all of the dreams it took a lifetime to destroy

      One of my biggest disappointments is when I realized my mother has a hard time taking responsibility for things she has done. It took me 40 years to come to that conclusion, which is my own denial of facts.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    They keep beating that dead horse, but outside a few hard core commies, climate change is way down on people’s list and cheap gas is way up.

    I linked a story yesterday about how the TVA is converting power plants from coal to natural gas, but ecofanatic activists are bitching about how that’s not good enough. It’s got to be wind/solar or nothing. If you asked 10,000 normal people, I doubt 6 would agree. I doubt very many would object to sticking with coal, as long as the lights stay on.

    • Bobarian LMD

      I thought the whole reason for there being a TVA was hydro?

      • kinnath

        It was when I was a kid living in Chattanooga.

      • ZWAK will kindle all of the dreams it took a lifetime to destroy

        The whole reason for the TVA was buying southern Democrat votes.

      • Gender Traitor

        We should never create governmental entities with “Authority” in their names. It gives folks undesirable ideas, and they’ll never ever let that entity go away.

  10. Sensei

    Florida dad.

    He was arrested this past weekend after an Uber driver reported that, Saturday night, he was forced to the ground at gunpoint after dropping Hollonbeck’s 13-year-old daughter off at home. Sheriff Bob Johnson described the incident as a “case of being an overprotective parent to some extent.”

    Yes, “some extent”.

    • Gender Traitor

      Charge him, and charge daughter with inducing panic and/or whatever else they can come up with for creating this mess.

      • Sensei

        But…

        “And everybody knows what’s going on in this country with fentanyl and child trafficking and rape. Terrible stuff.”

      • Gender Traitor

        ?? Argument against charging Dad?

      • Sensei

        From the article. That was the dad’s excuse.

      • Gender Traitor

        Let’s see if a jury considers it justification for pointing a gun at the guy who just brought your daughter home.

      • Mojeaux

      • Fourscore

        Hell, when my daughter was that age I would have pointed a gun at the guy FOR bringing her home. Those were tough years. Then she grew up, got married, had 3 daughters and for a while all were teenagers at the same time. She got her comeuppance. Somehow the three girls turned out well in spite of their parents.

    • Mojeaux

      Didn’t read the article.

      So Uber driver’s doing his job by safely delivering a 13-yo who was out and about when she shouldn’t have been, and HE’s the one responsible for this girl’s out-and-about-ness?

      Dude shoulda got a hefty tip and the girl should’ve gotten punished and her cohorts’ parents should have gotten a stern talking-to.

    • Sean

      🙂

    • Urthona

      Libertarian hero of the week.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Right wing intimidation

    “Unfortunately for Target, it has been dragged into the culture wars and is in a position where it can’t win whatever it does,” he said.

    The Human Rights Campaign fired back, releasing a statement saying that selling Pride merchandise “means something,” and since the LGBTQ community makes up 30% of Generation Z, the HRC said, “companies need to understand that community members and allies want businesses that express full-hearted support for the community.”

    “Target’s decision is disappointing and alienates LGBTQ+ individuals and allies at the risk of not only their bottom line but also their values,” said HRC President Kelley Robinson.

    Genocide.

    • The Other Kevin

      Poor Target, just minding its own business when a right wing mob showed up.

      • Ted S.

        Republicans pounce, it is known.

      • creech

        “Gee, when I joined the rebels firing on Ft. Sumter, I didn’t figure on Lincoln responding.”

    • trshmnstr

      “Unfortunately for Target, it has been dragged into the culture wars and is in a position where it can’t win whatever it does,” he said.

      Yeah, okay buddy. And Hobby Lobby doesn’t have a worldview either.

      Fuck this whole mendacious thing where they pretend that leftist activism is “fundamental human rights” and anything more traditional than a dude in a wig winning a girl’s track meet is a “controversial political statement”.

      • Mojeaux

        My craft communities are awash in Hobby Lobby hate.

      • trshmnstr

        That doesn’t surprise me at all.

        The female theater of the culture war is quite different from the other theaters of the war. The glimpses I get through my wife make me want to avoid all women (besides the ones in my house) like the plague.

      • Bobarian LMD

        There are a lot of days I ain’t too happy with the ones in my house, neither.

      • Mojeaux

        There’s plenty of problems with testosterone-fueled culture too that makes me want to avoid it like the plague.

      • Ted S.

        Dominant Culture insists that “toxic masculinity” is a serious problem, but if you suggest there might be such a thing as “toxic femininity”, they’d look at you like you have two heads.

      • Mojeaux

        Grant you that.

      • Beau Knott

        Yes

      • R C Dean

        Well, Moj, the good news is that testosterone levels are dropping like rock, so that culture should be running out of gas soon(ish).

      • Mojeaux

        The Gate to Women’s Country

        I’m not saying that’s what I want, but it’d be nice to open up Glibs without seeing at least one “That’s why I don’t respect women” type posts.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Toxicaly feminine behavior is often rewarded in online/social media spaces. Relational aggression, exclusion, etc. is the order of the day.

      • Not Adahn

        What happened with that knitting site that declared Trump was hate speech? Did a republican-friendly variant spin up? I know it’s completely impossible that original site would have admitted error or reconciled.

      • Mojeaux

        Don’t know. I don’t knit.

      • The Other Kevin

        Tell them when you go to Hobby Lobby, you like to make a day of it and grab some Chick Fil A for lunch.

      • Mojeaux

        Well, the biggest problem is that there are really no alternatives if you want to go and fondle the supplies. (Well, Michael’s, I guess.)

        My biggest problem with Hobby Lobby is that it’s less hobby and more kitschy home decor. If I want kitsch, I’ll go to a flea market and get some midcentury modern Christmas ornaments and Bakelite shit, tyvm.

      • The Other Kevin

        Same here. I usually get my art stuff from Blick, but sometimes I just want to look, and sometimes I have a coupon. Both Hobby Lobby and Michaels have their share of home decor and cheap stuff, but they both have just enough decent quality art supplies to be worth while.

      • Mojeaux

        Do you have a brick-and-mortar Blick? We have one, right by the art school.

      • kinnath

        We have one, right by the art school.

        Random luck, I imagine.

        No on could have done that on purpose.

      • Mojeaux

        Total luck.

      • The Other Kevin

        No, the closest one is in Chicago. And not even near my hockey rink. Which is for the best. Oh the money I could spend there.

    • kinnath

      I remember when conservative boycotts drove Soap off the air.

      . . .

      I had a point I was going to make, then I got distracted by work. Oh well.

    • Bobarian LMD

      makes up 30% of Generation Z

      Yeah, if you start counting all the made up “+” bullshit at the end. Otherwise its probably 6-8%.

      • R C Dean

        Weirdly, I don’t recall ever seeing anyone, including a Gen Zer, wearing rainbow pride stuff. Maybe on TV a few times? I know you can get it, so just how big is the market for selling it, even to the actual Alphabet People?

      • Nephilium

        I see it quite frequently. I even have my gray shirt with a grayscale rainbow on it that has STRAIGHT over it.

      • kinnath

        The openly gay, elderly guy in the beer club celebrates pride month quite openly and publicly. But even he keeps it down to a pin or ribbon or ball cap.

    • The Other Kevin

      That’s beautiful work. I can draw, and I can paint, but the imaginative part is the most difficult for me.

      • ZWAK will kindle all of the dreams it took a lifetime to destroy

        She does nice work.

        ZWAK approved.

      • R C Dean

        That’s real talent, that is. A distinctive “voice” also.

        You should tell her that the most appalling people you know really like it.

  12. Timeloose

    It’s another great Stoic Friday post. Thanks for these Ron.

    Here was my vantage point last Sunday. The most fun I had in the rain since 1994. Certain things kicking in as the rain started didn’t hurt.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tIGjrVIeFc

    It rained for nearly an hour, 4 inches or more, but we didn’t care.

    • ZWAK will kindle all of the dreams it took a lifetime to destroy

      Love me some Dinosaur Jr.

      • Timeloose

        It was the 4th time I went to see them, but only the 2nd time I got to actually see them play. They are so good live. ATL was a much more fun crowd than the NYC Brooklyn snobs. I would recommend anyone contemplating a music festival to go to make it Shaky Knees. It seemed everyone was there for music and fun. Not many Tick Tock or Insta dopes taking selfies.

      • ZWAK will kindle all of the dreams it took a lifetime to destroy

        Sounds nice. I am trying to see if the wife wants to go see PJ Harvey in a couple months, she is one of the few bands that I haven’t seen.

      • Timeloose

        That’s on the wife and I’s bucket list. Where is she touring?

      • R C Dean

        If only there was a way to access such information . . . .

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        His internet is down.

      • Timeloose

        You are right of course. It was a more general question. Seems like she is hitting big cities and theaters only, not festivals or small venues.

      • ZWAK will kindle all of the dreams it took a lifetime to destroy

        We would go to Portland, as it is an hour away. Don’t know about other dates.

    • Timeloose

      BTW It wasn’t me filming this. I’m not that guy, but I’m not above enacting his stupidity.

  13. ZWAK will kindle all of the dreams it took a lifetime to destroy

    So, totally off topic, but the wife is going out of town this weekend, to go spend some time with her friend who just finished her masters.

    All fine and dandy, but GET THE HELL OUT! LEAVE! GIVE ME MY WEEKEND!

    • Mojeaux

      That’s how my daughter felt when we moved my son to South Dakota (and promptly moved him back).

      It was her birthday weekend and we were so worried about how she’d feel about us leaving and not doing anything for her ON her birthday, and she was like, I WANT THE HOUSE TO MYSELF PLEASE LEAVE NOW THANK YOU GOODBYE.

      And then we had to tell her we were bringing him back and she was like FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK.

    • Timeloose

      Zwak at the open front door with her luggage, car warming up in the drive, and a cooler of cold ones on the back porch.

    • The Other Kevin

      Mrs. TOK both have our own hobbies that take us out of town. I have hockey, she has Spartan races. Sometimes the one staying home feels like they’re getting the better end of the deal. This is also why that cousin staying with us is so irksome.

      • R C Dean

        We have a standing joke that whoever is staying while the other is out of town is the one on vacation.

        Or maybe she’s the only one who says that.

    • Fourscore

      Fishing Opener week end, a state holiday, and the missus is in Dallas for a week. I need a fishing partner. In days gone by I liked fishing alone but now the boat presents a problem.
      At least I have a week alone to enjoy, unless a neighbor comes by to ‘check’ on me.

      • R C Dean

        Bow chicka-wow, amirite?

    • Nephilium

      The girlfriend starting her salon ended any of her solo trips, I would really like a weekend where I can cook spicy food again…

      • Mojeaux

        How is that going, by the way?

      • Nephilium

        Still chugging along, having issues getting staff, month by month, the second year has had a nice jump up in revenue over the first year. But I’m not involved beyond moral support and offering ideas when it’s permitted.

      • Mojeaux

        If I had a small fortune and any energy left, I’d open up a romance-only bookstore, with a confectioner on one side of my store, a stationer on the other side, and a wine bar directly across the street.

      • Sean

        No bath soap store?

      • ZWAK will kindle all of the dreams it took a lifetime to destroy

        Bath soap and candles!

      • Mojeaux

        Oh, I forgot the pastry store!

        No, silly. Bath soaps don’t deliver the same dopamine hit as sex, sugar, and alcohol.

      • ZWAK will kindle all of the dreams it took a lifetime to destroy

        Solo vacations are twice a year for me!

        (wife is an only child, raised way out in the sticks. She needs alone time, big time)

      • Nephilium

        I can still do a solo vacation, but then I’m still not going to be cooking.

      • Sean

        I would really like a weekend where I can cook spicy food again…

        Just add some Sean’s pepper powder!

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