Stop and Think

by | May 30, 2024 | Opinion, Rant, Regulation | 201 comments

Roads, the bane of libertarians. How do they work? It’s like magnets or some shit. There have been discussions about how big roads should be, who should build them, how every driver but you is a moron. But have we ever really stopped to think about stopping? This is not an argument about loop-dee-loops (sycophants call them traffic circles or roundabouts) or how to time traffic lights (why do I always get all the red lights?).  No, I’m talking about the simplest, and dumbest, thing we use to control traffic, the humble gunshot stop sign. Why the fuck do they exist? Do we need them? These questions, and more, will not be answered. But I am going to do what we Glibertarians do best, bitch and complain.

My mental journey on this subject began last year, when I learned that there isn’t a single stop sign in the city of Paris (France, not Texas).  My first thought was, “Stupid rifle dropping surrender monkeys!” But then, I started thinking about it, and came to the conclusion that stop signs are useless and totalitarian.

Why are stop signs useless? Asks the voice in my head, then it tells me I should pick up a knife and…wait you weren’t supposed to know that part. Anyway, stop signs have one function, to direct you to stop. This can be useful in directing traffic between roads with traffic on them. But what about when there is no traffic? Why must you stop? “Well, because you have to check if there is traffic coming!” Yells the CEO of Big Stop Sign. But, we already have another sign that does this. It is called a Yield sign.

At yield sign you stop if there is traffic, and you slow down on approach to check for traffic. If there is no traffic you can proceed on your merry way to the local Weed Mexican Buttsex R Us. So that is why stop signs are useless, because a yield sign already does the job. Sure, modern drivers may not know what to do at a yield sign, some see it the same as yellow light and gun through them. But this will be resolved with Darwinism eventually.

This brings me to where I said stop signs are totalitarian. How can a sign be totalitarian? Because cops. You see, at a stop sign legally your vehicle must come to a complete stop, if you roll through the stop at 3am when there is no traffic the cops can use that as pretext to pull you over and next thing you know your car is ripped apart, your dog is injured and your black friend is dead. All because you didn’t come to a complete stop. Thus, stop stopping and start yielding. Lets be more like the Europeans! The dipshits will eat it up if they think it’s cultured and shit.

About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

201 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    Lets be more like the Europeans!

    NO!

    That’s formula for Suicide!

  2. Nephilium

    /remembers getting pulled over as a teen for a “rolling stop” at a sign, directly in front of my friend’s house who I was picking up.

    Good times… good times…

    • UnCivilServant

      Fuck that noise. There’s one of those where 2/7 crosses 87, and it’s a nightmare. You can never tell who has the green or where the traffic is going to be coming from.

      scratch that, what’s in the article is WORSE than what’s at that intersection.

      Who are the morons who come up with these things?

      • EvilSheldon

        People who want you riding a bicycle or a train everywhere?

      • Not Adahn

        What do you mean? There are 160 of them across the planet! One hundred and sixty!

      • Certified Public Asshat

        People who want you riding a bicycle or a train everywhere?

        Not the contractors who build roads?

    • EvilSheldon

      Okay, it’s been time for a while now. You can contact me at ‘EvilSheldonKillsSpambots@pm.me’.

      If you’re gonna send me a dick pic, please trim beforehand…

      • Mojeaux

        please trim beforehand

        Why not wax?

      • EvilSheldon

        Trim, wax, shave, laser…just some bare minimum of (wo)manscaping. Otherwise you’re risking a low overall score.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Uh. *Raises hand*

        May I ask why? Don’t mean to pry, perhaps it has been mentioned before.

      • Not Adahn

        Even though I was supposedly an excellent candidate for laser hair removal, it didn’t work. Like, at all. My back follicles are just too strong!

      • Nephilium

        Evan:

        I would guess aesthetic preference.

      • Not Adahn

        (living with a stripper meant I knew about the good aestheticians)

      • Not Adahn

        email sent from a gmail account bounced.

      • EvilSheldon

        Did you remove the part about killing spambots? That was anti-spam obfuscation.

      • Mojeaux

        May I ask why?

        Pubes in teeth is not sexy.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Yeeesh! I was asking why he *may* receive a Dick Pic in the first place, not why pubic aesthetics are an erotic mainstay, nor the *best* way to maintain such. I thought I was clear enough but…oh, I read the room wrong! I’m quite pleased!

        I keep my netherhair neat and orderly, though not decorative. I’m with EvilShel, semi-unfair that ladies are ‘expected’ to do more managing to attract mates. Going down through a loose bush is an easy way for a fox to get lost. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ <– Why would you want more of that?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Waxing won’t remove a foreskin.

    • Rat on a train

      Combine them for more power.

  3. UnCivilServant

    More seriously, having witnessed my neighbors behavior at uncontrolled intersections, there are several local signed intersections where you’d never get out without ramming through their cars if yielding.

    The problem with a darwinian option is that it kills people who are not the problem just as often as those who cause the problem survive.

  4. pistoffnick (370HSSV)

    What’s up with all the new round abouts?

    They are the latest fad in civil engineering. I don’t believe they are any safer than a 2-way or a 4-way stop.

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      I hates them!

      • UnCivilServant

        They are nightmarish to deal with.

    • Nephilium

      When put in an appropriate area, with educated drivers, they’re faster. The problem is generally more with the second part than the first (at least locally).

      • UnCivilServant

        All traffic control needs to account for the dumbest fucks on the road. Assume 90% of drivers are drunk and distracted.

      • Nephilium

        UCS:

        Going off that, then the proper solution is get rid of the cars. Mass transit and self driving vehicles for all!

      • UnCivilServant

        Outside of the roadbuilder’s remit.

        Just design the roads for the traffic you have.

      • Not Adahn

        Yup, you can always tell when a noob is in town.

      • Not Adahn

        Just design the roads for the traffic you have.

        A series of elevators and slides!

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Okay, but drivers are not more educated at a 4 way stop.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Tearing up roads or building giant new ones is fun. Ordinary intersections are boring and yesterday.

      State DOT put series of unnecessary roundabouts coming to California on the Deschutes and lowered the speed limit to 45 and failed to fix the lack of clear merge onto southbound highway. Mission accomplished. Traffic is worse than usual and travel time is up.

      • Sensei

        Thanks. I was planning on doing the same.

    • CPRM

      I think it’s kids that were denied spirographs as kids.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      I like roundabouts, I cannot lie. But they are not a one size fits all solution.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      They are safer though.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        Not in the PNW, or NorCAL.

      • kinnath

        roundabouts are safer

        local drivers may not be

  5. Mojeaux

    1. I love roundabouts.

    2. I’m disconcerted to ambivalent about diverging diamonds.

    3. Stop sign totalitarianism — where does power-hunger end and the grift begin? Because we all know traffic violations are just revenue enhancers.

    • Gustave Lytton

      traffic violations are just revenue enhancers

      *queues up another idiots in cars YT video*

    • Nephilium

      /remembers a friend who had to go to court three times to fight a traffic ticket for a LEGAL right turn on red.

      My favorite are the signs that use wording along the lines of “during school hours”. I have not attended school in nearly 30 years, I have no children that I’ve been responsible for taking to school. I would guess vaguely 0730 – 1500 hours, but does that include weekends and holidays? Those aren’t school days, but school hours could be read to include them (and there’s such a thing as Saturday school still, right?).

      • UnCivilServant

        About 50% of the school zones around here list the days and hours that count as school hours.

        Others are damnably vague.

        The best ones have lights that indicate when they’re in effect.

      • ron73440

        Around here (Suffolk VA), they have implemented speed cameras for construction and school zones.

        The school ones are only used during school hours, but if I was betting, I would bet they will soon be in use 24/7.

      • WTF

        Where I live in NJ, it’s “When Children are Present”.

        Um, okay.

      • juris imprudent

        The best ones have lights that indicate when they’re in effect.

        Yeah but you’re fucked if it wasn’t on/blinking when you go by, and then you notice everyone else crawling along.

    • R.J.

      I am enjoying the American resurgence of roundabouts. All the new Texas neighborhoods have them.

      • Nephilium

        There’s a couple of places they’re forcing them into old neighborhoods here where they don’t work well, add confusion, and take up more space than the old four way stop. But at least they can throw a planter in the center that will hold some shrub for a quarter of the year.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, that reminds me.

        In Nottingham, I saw a ’roundabout’ that was a regular intersection with a circle painted in the middle. It was so stupid it was funny.

      • EvilSheldon

        We have a few of those in Arlington. Most of them still have the stop signs.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        In Sacramento, they put them in the intersections of the oldest part of town, Boulevard Park, were the streets are narrow with very little off street parking. Total disaster.

        Here in the PNW, they like to put two right next to each other, and one I know of has only one turn off of it (Springfield, and I am sure Gustave knows it well). Same in Yakima(?), in East WA. They just build them stupid here. It is a good idea, but exceedingly poor execution.

        These same people remove parking spots for (spits) bike lanes.

    • UnCivilServant

      1. Mojeaux loves roundabouts.

      Any particular reason?

      • R.J.

        It keeps traffic flowing. We don’t have a space issue in TX, so new neighborhoods have them. Very few older neighborhoods could accommodate them.

      • UnCivilServant

        It does not. Everything slows down and clogs up at circles – frequently leading to backups past the next intersection (and circle) in multiple directions. Some of them lock up entirely, with no one managing to get in or out.

      • Mojeaux

        What RJ said.

        However, your experience makes me wonder if you have an inordinate amount of traffic for the size of roundabout that was built. More traffic == bigger roundabout.

      • UnCivilServant

        They only ever get built on high traffic roads. Makes it a nightmare.

        Low traffic roads get a stop sign.

      • Mojeaux

        Then they’re just not building them big enough and those engineers are idiots.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        They only ever get built on high traffic roads.

        So not the fault of the roundabout.

      • kinnath

        They only ever get built on high traffic roads. Makes it a nightmare.

        Low traffic roads get a stop sign.

        Your local civil engineers are idiots. That’s pretty much the opposite of what needs to happen.

      • UnCivilServant

        not building them big enough

        Knocking down the buildings in the way is politically nonviable. (while not legally impossible, it’s not going to fly)

      • Grummun

        It keeps traffic flowing. We don’t have a space issue in TX, so new neighborhoods have them. Very few older neighborhoods could accommodate them.

        Nerk Ahia has recently replaced two intersections on SR 13 with roundabouts. I think they work pretty well, at least the times I’ve had to use them.

        Of course, in the same city, some dillweed tried to put a “roundabout” on a residential street: basically a traffic cone in the middle of the intersection and a sign “traffic circle”. That was pretty much peak stupid and didn’t last.

  6. Gustave Lytton

    Stop signs are totalitarian and most people psychopathic narcissists. Squaring that octagon doesn’t yield a triangle.

  7. Sensei

    https://www.pps.org/article/hans-monderman

    A traffic engineer in the Netherlands, Hans Monderman (1945 – 2008) turned urban transportation planning upside down with the groundbreaking concept of “Shared Space.” His idea is disarmingly simple: remove traffic lights, signs, crosswalks, lane markers and even curbs so that pedestrians, motorists, and cyclists must negotiate their way through streets by interacting with, and reacting to, one another.

    In some urban environments I can totally see this working. I’ve been in developments with no stop signs and relatively light traffic. You simply slow down and pay attention at the intersections.

    • UnCivilServant

      My hypothesis is thus – it is so odd that people pay unusual attention to what’s going on. If implemented more widespread, it will simply become ‘normal’ and the body count will rise.

      Secondly, it makes getting to point B, the whole purpose of a road, more difficult. What with all those cyclists and pedrestrians intruding onto vehicular space.

    • Gustave Lytton

      My gut says it’s a just so story. In practice, things like lane narrowing and those stupid curb outs create more road hazards and put pedestrians nearer to traffic without space to determine pedestrian intentions.

      If I had my way, I’d go back to “look both ways and only cross when it’s clear” instead of “pedestrians have the right way all the time in any circumstance”.

      • UnCivilServant

        Prosecture Jaywalking more harshly than rolling through stop signs.

      • Nephilium

        I did see someone get arrested for jaywalking in Downtown Vegas. Of course, he walked directly into traffic, almost getting hit by a car. He walked right over to the two uniformed police officers waiting on the other side of the street for him.

        I would be willing to wager that drugs/alcohol were involved. 🙂

      • Gustave Lytton

        The worst offenders here are the sheriffs deputies and other county employees cutting to their parking lot across from the courthouse downtown. Surprise surprise surprise.

      • EvilSheldon

        At the very least, jaywalking should negate right of way.

    • R.J.

      I wonder how that would work here with modern at-fault insurance.

  8. R.J.

    Get rid of all the commie streets signs and signals altogether. Let God sort it out.
    We will come out of it stronger and better as a society, with a million independent Khan Noonien Singhs.

  9. Sean

    how every driver but you is a moron

    I feel seen.

    • juris imprudent

      Someone else said that recently and my comment was – that can be taken as recognition, or that someone was peeking into your shower.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Diverging Diamonds are where it’s at!

    There was just an article about those a day or two ago, I forget where. There is one not far away, in Chubbuck, where an extremely busy road crosses/intersects the interstate (86? 84? I can never remember, for some reason). It’s fucked up, but I think it does what it’s supposed to do, which is get people on and off the interstate somewhat more efficiently.

    *It’s very busy because it’s a choke point where practically all of the north-south traffic in the area ends up. I avoid it like the plague.

  11. Not Adahn

    My theory:

    Driving is a social experience. Each area has their own unwritten social norms about how to drive, and people who violate them cause other drivers to react negatively/drive worse. This is also why people who are afraid of driving (like my mom) are also terrible drivers — they freak out/irritate the surrounding drivers leading to more conflict.

    Except Bostonians, those assholes are literally terrible drivers.

    • Sensei

      The CA stop is really not done here. OTH, Tesla actually put it into their Full Self Driving because Californians were getting enraged that Teslas actually stopped at stop signs.

      Naturally, FedGov forced them to remove it and obey traffic regulations.

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      Except Bostonians, those assholes are literally terrible drivers.

      Include Chinese drivers in that Venn diagram. Welcome to to Dongguan, China where even the lane markings and curbed sidewalks are a just a suggestion.

    • Nephilium

      My view of driving is that I want to be extremely predictable, and not impede other traffic more than the minimum. This means things like signaling lane changes and turns, waiting until I’m in the turning lane to start slowing down for the turn, not blocking driveways, and not trying to make a left hand turn across a six lane road where there isn’t a light (make the right hand turn, adjust course at the next traffic light you idjits).

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m reminded of the pickup in Rural Minnesota that decided to turn right from the left hand lane directly in front of me. This was at highway speeds, so no chance of stopping just from brakes.

        I’m amazed that I managed to miss him. Though I don’t remmeber if I laid on the horn (which would have been justified) I often forget to do so in the moment as my mind is on not connecting to the other vehicle.

      • slumbrew

        Neph for Supreme Traffic Tsar For Life!

        I think it was here that someone had been taught, “if you do something to make someone else have to brake, you have done something wrong”. I like that.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, I saw on Reddit once: “Don’t be polite. Be predictable.”

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        A highway patrolman I used to BS with told me that if everyone is going the same speed, no issues. Doesn’t matter what that speed is. When one jackass is going slower/faster by a decent margin, that is when you have accidents.

    • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

      I think this is right. And it explains the resistance to round-a-bouts here in the US vs. the love for them in Europe. As everything over there was blown to shit before cars were an everyday, everybody experience, when they had to rebuild this is what they got, a new norm.

      We are stuck with things from before the war.

    • Suthenboy

      Uh, no. Fatboy needs an asswhipping. Girls are idiots for getting in the ring.

      • Not Adahn

        Joss Wheedon and Kathleen Kennedy assure me that fit women can kick the shit out of old fat dudes, regardless of the size difference.

      • EvilSheldon

        First of all, spectacle fights are a thing. Pride FC (and more recently, Rizen and Fight Circus {really, Japanese combat sports promotions in general}) made their names with shit like this. I will agree that this is a little more gritty than Bob Sapp vs. thirty teenage girls in sailor suits.

        Second, none of those fighters had a single clue what they were doing. If you had put, say, Alexa Grasso and Valentina Shevchenko in there with that tub of lard, the result would have been very different.

        Yes, all else being equal, a man will defeat a woman in a physical confrontation. One of the things that will change that equation is when the woman is a professional prizefighter and the man is not.

      • Sensei

        制服!

        Sensei perks up.

        Trivia is that sailor uniforms are all slightly different and people will know what actual school they came from. So for events like this, idol groups and, err, adult purposes costumers make “fake” sailor uniforms.

      • EvilSheldon

        This is why I hang around here – the interesting trivia!

      • juris imprudent

        SDF-7 on May 30, 2024 at 7:23 am
        “GO ‘WAY! TEETRIVIA TIME!”

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        Fatboy should have either thrown one of the chick at the other one, and/or slung the other one across his knee for a good spankin’!

  12. UnCivilServant

    One thing I noticed about driving, at least my personal habits.

    Before the lockdowns, I was that asshole who never went past 5 above the limit. After the lockdowns I’m more often driving the prevailing speed of traffic (which tends to be ~15-20 above)

    I did not make a conscious effort to change, it just happened.

    • Sean

      Scofflaw!

    • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

      I will admit that, while if I am driving with a purpose I focus 100% on the road, if I am tooting through town I have become a total Mr. Magoo.

  13. Suthenboy

    I live in the middle of nowhere. We have no traffic. I get annoyed if I have to wait for more than one car to pass before I get onto the highway.

    As for stop signs there have been a couple of close call occasions where I admitted to myself ‘Wow, where did they come from? Now I see why that sign is there.’

    I am gonna go with keeping the stop signs. The problem can be easily fixed by greatly reducing penalties for violations.
    1. Didnt come to a complete stop, nothing happened. $1 fine
    2. Didn’t come to a complete stop, caused an accident and someone died. $1,000,000 fine payable to victim’s family.

  14. kinnath

    I like round-abouts. They work great in light traffic areas and OK in moderate traffic areas; but they are a disaster in high traffic areas.

    I like the new divergent diamond exchanges much better than the old ones.

    On one of my many trips to Moscow, my local co-worker was driving me around. All the traffic signs are in Russian, except the stop signs are the standard red octagon with “STOP”. I asked my co-worker about them and why they were in English. He shrugged and said “we know what they say”.

      • Not Adahn

        You’ve been in Quebec, I see.

  15. juris imprudent

    Clearly yield signs would never work in libertopia – since no libertarian would ever yield his right of way and the only purpose they would serve is to remind us of our investments.

  16. slumbrew

    Why are stop signs useless? Asks the voice in my head, then it tells me I should pick up a knife and…wait you weren’t supposed to know that part.

    All I can think of

    “I am not here to talk to them – You are the hand chosen by the master!”

    • Nephilium

      Really? This didn’t even cross your mind?

    • Beau Knott

      Ah, slumbrew, I was hoping it would be that 🙂

      • slumbrew

        I’m here for your Venture Bros needs.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        “i am the bat”

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Unexpected

    The U.S. economy grew more slowly in the first quarter than previously estimated after downward revisions to consumer spending and a key measure of inflation ticked down, keeping the Federal Reserve on track to possibly begin cutting interest rates at least once before the end of the year.
    Gross domestic product – the broadest measure of economic activity – grew at an 1.3% annualized rate from January through March, the Commerce Department reported on Thursday, down from the advance estimate of 1.6% and notably slower than the 3.4% pace in the final three months of 2023.

    The 100% apolitical Federal Reserve, which would never consider anything but economics in their decisionmaking.

    • R C Dean

      “The U.S. economy grew more slowly in the first quarter than previously estimated”

      + 1 fainting couch

    • Rat on a train

      Sting supports turning off red lights.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        I thought those days were over.

      • Not Adahn

        Best scene in Moulin Rouge

  18. slumbrew

    I’m in the pro roundabout camp – when done right (and when people understand the rules of the road). You start adding in stop signs and red lights and then they’re just extra stupid.

    I’m sure I’ve brought this up before – my favorite, gigantic traffic circle: https://maps.app.goo.gl/vCMBKVuLss8KxyoR6

    You can just whip through there at speed (plus there’s another, slightly smaller one right before it).

    • grrizzly

      They fixed the rotary in the Powder House Square in the last couple of years. It’s now okay.

      • slumbrew

        Yah, better for sure – that was one of those terrible “we’re a rotary but we also have stop signs and traffic lights” instances. Closer to a pure rotary now.

    • R C Dean

      I suspect a roundabout that (a) you are familiar with and (b) isn’t particularly busy is probably tolerable.

      I just can’t wrap my mind around the multiple lane roundabouts – exactly when and how are you supposed to exit the inner circle into the outer circle which is full of cars, all of you turning and with crap visibility as to who is behind you?

      • UnCivilServant

        You ram through the traffic with unbridled aggression and volleys of explosive carpoons.

        Otherwise you’re making another circuit of the roundabout.

      • Not Adahn

        All of mine are 2 lanes, the road stripes show when to move outside. There are signs before the rotary indicating which lanes go where.

  19. Drake

    I grew up in an old Massachusetts town. The center of a town should have a Rotary (not a round-about, or any other nonsense names). It should be the only rotary in town. Everyone knows you yield to traffic already in the rotary.

  20. Sensei

    Legit LOL

    The call from Minnesota DFL Party Chair Ken Martin came after the close of the Minnesota legislative session in which Mitchell, DFL-Woodbury, provided the party the one-vote advantage to get many priority spending bills and policies across the finish line. Republicans at the Capitol had called for her to step down almost immediately following news of her arrest at her stepmother’s home in Detroit Lakes.

    https://www.mprnews.org/story/2024/05/30/minnesota-dfl-calls-for-state-sen-nicole-mitchell-to-step-down-following-arrest

  21. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    There’s an intersection near me where you would never be able to make a left turn during rush hour if it wasn’t for the stop sign. A roundabout would solve the problem though.

    • UnCivilServant

      Indeed. Without the stop sign you wouldn’t be able to make a left at rush hour. With the roundabout, you’d never be able to make a left.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        I’d be able to make the left because I’d be the car in the intersection getting the right of way.

      • UnCivilServant

        Not a chance, the circle is always full.

      • Not Adahn

        Not sure if srs.

    • UnCivilServant

      “They let me out?” *has heart attack from shock*

    • Ownbestenemy

      Azusa is a town that by all means shouldn’t be a shithole and yet, it is.

      • juris imprudent

        I guess it has gone downhill since my uncle lived there. That was quite a while ago.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Nestled in the foothills of the San Gabriels, to the east is Glendora and San Dimas, Covina to the south and unfortunately City of Industry to the west. However, it was a beacon to the migrant community and was eventually overrun with gangs. Still some pockets of nice areas but growing up in the 90s, we’d only go there to APU to hit on college chicks.

    • Not Adahn

      Probably slipped on a ball bearing.

      • Sensei

        Hey! It’s all ball bearings nowadays.

  22. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    Another advantage of roundabouts is that the pizza place can deliver my pineapple pizza more quickly.

    • Ownbestenemy

      They need to stay in their lanes

      • juris imprudent

        She’s a wide load, needs two.

      • juris imprudent

        You can be sure that she and Fani Wills couldn’t pass on a mountain road.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Abbott sending Texas Rangers to NY to arrest James. I’d watch that for a dollar.

      • Ownbestenemy

        He should fire back with 37 governors demanding the DOJ investigate her and Willis for their lawfare tactics.

    • Sean

      Someone needs to drop a house on that witch.

    • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

      So LeTITTYa James?

    • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

      You know what would be even funnier? If Abbot came out and said “since NYC is sticking its nose in Federal law, we are gonna pardon a certain person. If you can do it, so can we.”

  23. Certified Public Asshat

    I didn’t want to play this card, but if you are anti-roundabout you are anti-science. Anti-God for that matter, and literally Hitler too.

      • Mojeaux

        I just can’t even. I am literally shaking rn.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I’m not the one stuck in traffic with sweaty hands.

      • UnCivilServant

        Then you must be blissfully roundabout-free.

      • kinnath

        Your local government, and their civil engineers, are trying to shoe-horn the latest fad into places where they don’t belong. The net result is traffic gets worse, not better.

        This is not a problem with roundabouts. This is a problem with your government.

        We have had many roundabouts added to dangerous rural intersections. They make these intersections much safer without impeding traffic.

        Roundabouts are just another tool that works great in the right places.

      • Ownbestenemy

        @kinnath

        Stop bringing in logic and discussing the root of the problem!

      • Certified Public Asshat

        And no one wants to hear this, but where there is heavy car traffic what you really need is *whispers* alternative forms of transportation.

      • UnCivilServant

        By definition, the roundabout impedes traffic because you are required to change direction, even if you’re not trying to turn.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Sure, a roundabout impedes traffic. But you know what really impedes traffic? Stop signs and stop lights.

      • UnCivilServant

        Lights are often Green.

        Roundabouts are never straight.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        But you always have to stop at a stop sign. Unless you are my wife.

      • Mojeaux

        YOUR roundabout impedes traffic because it’s a shitty roundabout built shittily in a shitty place.

        A GOOD roundabout slows forward momentum slightly and briefly while allowing traffic to flow WITHOUT impeding anything.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I’m guessing UCS will not want to dox, but I need to see this roundabout on google maps.

      • kinnath

        Still way better that 4-way stop signs or traffic lights. And still safer than both of those.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Looks like it would still keep traffic flowing, but damn, that is a terrible design.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Wife groomed one of the civil engineer’s dogs and said its stated purpose was “to slow down drivers” because its coming from a 45mph road and dumped into a 25mph (since raised to 35mph)

      • Nephilium

        UCS:

        That appears to be a perfectly fine traffic circle to me. I know that I much prefer the traffic circle that got put in at the 176/W14th interchange much more than the old traffic lights.

        The one the city put in to replace a four way stop in an older area isn’t as well done, but still is faster than a four way stop.

      • UnCivilServant

        From above it looks fine – but it is clogged up even with the route 9 bypass under it

      • EvilSheldon

        And no one wants to hear this, but where there is heavy car traffic what you really need is *whispers* alternative forms of transportation.

        Just so long as those alternative forms of transportation get me to and from the shooting range, the racetrack, the rural trailhead, and the moonshiner, quickly and efficiently.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        UCS? Don’t go straight, go forward!

      • R C Dean

        “A GOOD roundabout slows forward momentum slightly and briefly while allowing traffic to flow WITHOUT impeding anything.”

        If it’s not too crowded. Once the roundabout starts to fill up, the cars yielding to the cars in the roundabout have to slow down or even stop, and then can’t get up to full speed as they join the roundabout, slowing it down, causing further backups on the approach roads, etc.

      • Evan from Evansville

        I’m not the one stuck in traffic with sweaty hands.

        UCS doesn’t get sweaty hands. He does have Driving Gloves, IIRC.

      • Evan from Evansville

        I’d like to know how many Gloves you have. What activity gets what pair? When does a routine require a specific pair? I’m curious how far the gloves keep stacking down and down…hopefully until there’s certain Decision Gloves worn that warrants authority over such choices.

        Those must be delicate to handle such gossamer. What color? (I would choose whatever’s cheapest.)

    • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

      Kinnath and UCS are both right. When they are set up correctly in the proper circumstances, they work great. Here in the US they often aren’t, and further, most people aren’t comfortable with them nor to they truly understand what to do. And add pedestrian right-of-way into the mix, and you have pretty shitty intersections.

      • Evan from Evansville

        If not busy and when people are used to and understand particular roundabouts, they’re great. The diamond-divergent bullshit does work quite well. But only if you are expecting it and know how that one flows. Like my father. Carmel, IN has ’em all over and it’s mostly chill. The double-ones are goofy as hell if you’re not used to ’em or don’t know where you’re going.

        People being indecisive at the wrong moment is at the heart of it. So really, just humans being human. (However, fuck. Now UCS’ Decision Gloves make actual sense. For some, not all. See also: Batting gloves. No thanks. That’s what callouses are for.)

  24. juris imprudent

    What – you mean the narrative wasn’t it was all just spontaneous?

    Democratic strategist David Axelrod ripped the Biden campaign for actor Robert De Niro’s appearance outside the Manhattan courthouse this week, calling the event “ill-timed” in a new opinion piece.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      This wasn’t even the worst role that DeNiro has taken in the last several years. He’s been in some really bad movies because he needs the money after his divorce.

      • juris imprudent

        Taibbi ripped him a new one. My two-cents was that Matt missed saying “DeNiro is no Nick Cage”.

      • ZWAK came for the two-fisted tentacle-fighting, stayed for the crushing existential nihilism.

        So, you are saying that there wasn’t a Silver Lining to the whole thing?

      • creech

        DeNiro isn’t like the biggest star in Hollywood? Last night, I saw the promo for DeNiro’s appearance on “The Tonight Show” : Fallon was gushing and the canned applause was as if Jesus was coming back to earth.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I am sure AP is getting it good and hard for reporting “Biden campaign sent out De Niro” in their articles yesterday

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Hey! Baddaboom Baddabing, you talking to me? He’s quite the surly tough guy until someone sets off a car alarm.

      What a fucking jabroney.

  25. Not Adahn

    When I moved here, the roundabout bothered me. Then I got gud.

    • slumbrew

      This is the way.

    • UnCivilServant

      Found the routes without them, I see.

  26. juris imprudent

    Climate change – there really isn’t anything it can’t do.

    Barkin, a professor of community medicine and obstetrics and gynecology at the Mercer University School of Medicine in Georgia, characterized the influence of climate change on maternal mental health as “a global issue,” while noting that “it hits the disadvantaged in a more dramatic way — and quicker.”

    Carbon capture tax credit to blame for disparate impact on marginalized communities! [derpity-derpity-do]

    In communities already suffering most from the harms of the fossil fuel industry — adverse health impacts and shortened lifespans, ravaged ecosystems and the empty promises of economic prosperity — residents are paying twice to support the pipe dream of carbon capture.

  27. SDF-7

    Sorry (not sorry), but I’m in the “I despise roundabouts” camp. For the single lane ones, it is often not clear with the stupid sign just before it which of the 6 exits gets you back on the road you want, no one ever yields properly (so you’re taking your fucking life in your hands trying to navigate one), and God help you on multi-lane ones where you’re supposed to fucking change lanes to get somewhere.

    Fuck all that noise — give me clear stop signs / lights. I don’t give a shit about traffic stopping briefly compared to “people piling into the side of other cars because shit is unclear”.

    So of course, California is ripping out every damned intersection they can to put in those abominations.

  28. UnCivilServant

    😐 Time to facilitate another meeting to try to herd cats on a project where I have no leverage over the other groups.

    Had fun arguing with you guys.

    • R.J.

      Come back anytime! It’s more fun than project management.

    • Drake

      Welcome to the party pal!

  29. CPRM

    THIS is the sort of nonsense rounderboots have wrought! Let’s just put 6 rounderboots in a row! everyone loves them!

  30. kinnath

    I’ve driven roundabouts in England where it was just a painted circle in an intersection in town. They seems to be a nuisance in this case, but they do actually make it simpler — you just have to yield to traffic on the right. {this translates to just yielding to traffic on the left here in the US}

    There is no good solution to heavy traffic in urban environments. Roundabouts don’t make it better and may make it worse.

    They do make life much safer in rural environment where you have crossing traffic going 55+ mph. You never have to stop. Just slow down to navigate the roundabout. Yield to traffic coming from one direction.

    • CPRM

      Why should both have to slow down? When one could keep going and the other yield? What are you, some kind of Communist who wants to treat all people the same?

      • kinnath

        No, I’m a libertarian that understands statistics.

        Turning left is the most dangerous thing you can do.

        When at least one of vehicles is traveling 55+ mph, it gets very, very bad for the drivers of both vehicles if either of them makes a mistake.