Thursday Afternoon Links – Return to Normacly Edition

by | May 30, 2024 | Daily Links | 217 comments

You kids get music links today! The opening selection is a shout-out to OBE for taking me to school yesterday.

TRUMP VERDICT PLACEHOLDER: Trump found guilty on all 34 counts in NY v Trump.

MENSTRUAL HYGIENE DAY WAS YESTERDAY: I can’t believe my colleague SugarFree missed linking to this yesterday, but here you go.

HUMAN TRIALS OF TOOTH-REGROWING DRUG TO BEGIN IN SEPTEMBER: Hooray! But the quickest it can get to market is 2030.

THE PROCESS IS THE PUNISHMENT, WEEKLY REMINDER: SCOTUS unanimously slapped down the NY state government for financially deplatforming the NRA. But nobody will go to jail for this, nobody will lose their job, and NY and other states will continue to violate the rights of people they don’t like in a never-ending game of Whac-A-Mole.

FEDS CATCH FRAUDSTER WHO TOOK $5.9 BILLION IN COVID AID: Everything about this is infuriating starting with the aid itself and the lockdowns they used to justify the aid. And it looks like they recovered a whopping $34 million of that. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. “The IRS said in March it had investigated tax and money laundering cases related to Covid-19 fraud potentially worth about $9 billion, with more than half that amount coming from cases opened in the last year.”

SACRED LANDS GRIFT, POLYNESIAN EDITION: The US Air Force wants to expand an observatory complex on a mountain top in Hawaii. In no surprise to anyone, some Hawaiians with native ancestry are trying to stop the project, some even going so far as to want the existing complex removed altogether.

WE CAN’T FIX THE PROBLEM, BUT WE’RE GOING TO LAUNCH ANYWAY: “It’s so complicated. There’s so many things going on. We really just needed to work through it as a team,” Ken Bowersox, associate administrator for NASA’s Space Operations Mission Directorate and a former astronaut, told reporters in a teleconference Friday (May 24). Seriously, NASA? Seriously? That sounds like something you’d hear in one of Dr. Marvin Monroe’s group therapy sessions. I wish them well with this, I really do.

MOONSTONE SLEET TIED TO FAKEPENNY: There is a North Korean hacker group which is known to security researches as Moonstone Sleet, and they are suspected to be the ones behind the FakePenny ransomware attacks. The names sound like something out of a William Gibson story. Also, calling them a hacker group is somewhat disingenuous. These aren’t a bunch of scruffy hero coders sharing a loft somewhere; computers and internet access are rare and tightly controlled in Norkland, so this is definitely a government operation.

I can’t remember how I came across this perky little tune, but thanks if it was one of you.

About The Author

Tonio

Tonio

Tonio is a Glibs shitposter, linkstar (Thursday PM, yo), author, and editor. He is also a GlibZoom personality and prankster. Tonio is a big fan of pic-a-nic baskets. His hobbies include salmon fishing, territorial displays, dumpster diving, and posing for wildlife photographers.

217 Comments

  1. Sean

    I can’t remember how I came across this perky little tune

    I’m pretty sure I linked it in one of my early AM posts. *shrug*

    • Tonio

      Thanks, Sean. I tried searching the comments for the video url, but the only hit I got was from Mojeaux a few years back.

      • Sean

        🙂

        It’s kind of a blur at this point. I’m hoping I don’t duplicate too many of the songs I put up. I figure at some point, someone will catch me doing it.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s the “Hey, he’s guilty of something” standard of jurisprudence the US is moving to.

      • Rat on a train

        You are charged with being guilty. How do you plead?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Blackstone replaced by Beria.

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        Hey, he’s guilty of something

        Ironically (or not), that’s the Thin Blue Line Back The Blue crowd’s default when people get shot by cops.

      • Drake

        That is cool.

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        Robert Smith (Vikings RB who does not sing “Piggy in the Mirror”) went to med school.

  2. Sean

    The medicine itself deactivates the uterine sensitization-associated gene-1 (USAG-1) protein, which suppresses tooth growth. As we reported in 2023, blocking USAG-1’s interaction with other proteins encourages bone morphogenetic protein (BMP) signaling, which triggers new bone to generate.

    IMO, that’s gonna be a pretty big deal.

  3. DEG

    Fraudsters used the botnet to submit tens of thousands of fake applications for federal relief during the coronavirus pandemic, leading to losses of about $5.9 billion, according to statements from the Departments of Justice and Treasury.

    $5.9 billion? That’s not even a rounding error for Federal spending. I wonder who the fraudsters pissed off to get on the Fed’s radar.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Pissed off or failed to pay off?

    • juris imprudent

      I imagine the CCP called and said – do you know how these assholes have reamed you?

    • Sensei

      Typical CNN. My read is he ran the botnet and essentially leased time on it.

      Multiple “customers” used it for all kinds of things including COVID fraud based activities.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    HUMAN TRIALS OF TOOTH-REGROWING DRUG TO BEGIN IN SEPTEMBER

    ,/em>

    Can it make them grow in in rows?

  5. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Just, LOL @ NASA. I mean, JFC.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    That is an insanely perky tune. Gracias.

  7. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Gotta guard my dinner from a feisty Chihuahua

    https://ibb.co/JvfTw1n

    • CPRM

      I’m cooking up chicken stock that I’ll then use to make a gumbo like stew.

      • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

        I made chicken stock two nights ago.

        I fed the carcass to my chickens afterwards. The picked it clean.

        Once I get pigs, I’ll be able to dispose any bodies…

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Ghastly

    Elon Musk has sought to accumulate political capital commensurate with his extravagant wealth. In the past year, Musk has publicly opined on global conflicts, met with numerous world leaders and US senators to discuss artificial intelligence and his space and satellite technologies. And he has courted senior Chinese officials on their home turf.

    Now he is reportedly exploring what could be his next political project: Becoming an adviser to Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican nominee for president, according to a report from the Wall Street Journal.

    How dare he act like Bill Gates?

  9. juris imprudent

    Seriously, NASA?

    Apparently, failure has become an option.

    • Tonio

      That’s going to leave a mark.

      • juris imprudent

        Not like the next thing that they launch that ends up cratering.

      • juris imprudent

        And remember, you heard it before Iowahawk says it.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Musk has made supporting right-wing causes — and extremism, in some situations — increasingly central to his identity. He has vocally opposed Covid-19 lockdowns and embraced anti-vaccine ideology. He has elevated conservative speech on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter that he purchased in 2022. And he has pushed racist conspiracy theories about immigration.

    Musk has also obsessed over the “woke mind virus,” a term used by some conservatives to describe progressive causes. And he has explicitly called for Republican victories at the ballot box, warning of the country’s impending “doom” if a “red wave” does not materialize in November.

    Unmutual!

    • B.P.

      Boy, all of that stuff sounds pretty extreme. We need to elect a Dem president pronto so we can all get back to normal life.

  11. cavalier973

    Jonathan Turley inside court: Jury appears ‘not in striking distance of a verdict’

    It is important not to overplay the fact that the jury is electing not to stay until 6. The judge had left it up to them. If they wanted to go longer, it would not bode well for Trump. It clearly shows that they are not in striking distance of a verdict, though that can mean many things including a reflection of the large number of counts.

    As someone who believed that Friday was the most likely day for a verdict this week, this is not surprising and could still end in either a hung jury or conviction in my view. It could even go over to next week. I enjoy tea leaf readings as much as the next analyst but you need some tea in the cup.

    Keep in mind that the jury was clearly not in agreement on the standards to be applied on such issues as inferences and may have differed on what they heard from Pecker and Cohen. After the read back on the instructions and transcript, they had to restart their deliberations with whatever clarity that court session provided to them.

    — Jonathan Turley, constitutional law attorney and FNC contributor

    https://www.foxnews.com/live-news/may-30-trump-trial-jury-deliberations-day-2

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      That’s probably not good for Trump

      • R.J.

        The clerk entered the courtroom a minute ago. I’m hooked.

      • R.J.

        The jurors are in the room.

      • R.J.

        Well, he’s guilty. Not surprised. I am going about my day, stuff to do. He will appeal.

    • juris imprudent

      That will help keep this from more coverage.

      Biden allows limited Ukrainian strikes inside Russia using U.S.-provided weapons

      Of course if Israel does that, that’s a red line.

    • B.P.

      I have a group of friends who are fervently cheering for the jailing of their political opponent.

      • juris imprudent

        “…in despotism, when the people have become so corrupt to be incapable of any other…”

  12. CPRM

    I had a tub of mouse poison bait blocks on the porch. Something, probably squirrels, has been trying to get into the bucket for weeks. They finally did, and appear to have had a feast. Gluttony kills.

    • R.J.

      Oh shit… That was poison???!?!?!

      I Keeeed with you!

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Musk’s changes to X have helped “the growing normalization of hate and lies which can only be damaging to democracies that are based on compromise, tolerance, science, and truth,” said Imran Ahmed, CEO of the online watchdog Center for Countering Digital Hate (CCDH).

    To be sure, we’re in favor of free speech, but only if we agree with it.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      Center for Countering Digital Hate

      You can be sure they do no such thing.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    The Biden campaign on Thursday lashed out at the idea of Musk and Trump working together.

    “Despite what Donald Trump thinks, America is not for sale to billionaires, oil and gas executives, or even Elon Musk,” Biden-Harris 2024 spokesperson James Singer said in a statement. “Trump is selling out America to pay his legal bills and put himself in power, while all billionaires like Elon see is a sucker: They know if they cut him campaign checks, he’ll cut their taxes while he cuts Social Security and other benefits for the middle class.”

    It’s 1875 all over again.

  15. SDF-7

    FEDS CATCH FRAUDSTER WHO TOOK $5.9 BILLION IN COVID AID

    I didn’t think Gavin was really hiding… and isn’t that a little low for the money he siphoned off into the general fund?

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Nailbiter

    A jury has reached a verdict Thursday in the criminal hush money trial of former President Donald Trump in New York.

    The 12-member jury sent out a note to the trial judge at 4:20 p.m. ET.

    “We the jury have a verdict. We would like an extra 30 minutes to fill out the forms if that’d be possible,” the note said, according to Judge Juan Merchan, who read it out loud in the courtroom.

    Jurors deliberated less than 10 hours over two days before sending out the note. Before the announcement, Trump, his lawyers, prosecutors and reporters expected the jury to be dismissed for the day at 4:30 p.m.

    Trump was sitting in the courtroom with his arms crossed and a resigned look on his face minutes after the announcement was made.

    Will trump call his tailor and get fitted for a jumpsuit?

    • Sensei

      The joy on my train right now…

    • SDF-7

      In a just world, the verdict would be: “Not guilty because you never specified a crime and tried to pin it all with a witness that admitted to grand larceny in front of us” — but my gut says that’s not the way the kangaroo is jumping. Interesting times, indeed…

      • juris imprudent

        John Carpenter was right about NYC all along.

  17. grrizzly

    Guilty

    • rhywun

      Of what… who knows?

      They are actually not saying what the underlying crime is.

      • Rat on a train

        Don’t get caught up in details.

  18. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Well, it was a decent run, America

    • SDF-7

      Funny that this comes down during the Links titled “Return to Normalcy”. Sigh.

      • Ted S.

        Technically, it’s the Return to Normacly.

      • Tonio

        I knew I could count on Ted’S.

    • Drake

      It was okay. Some bumps in the road. The last couple of decades were a fast decline.

      John Glubb called it all with scary accuracy.

      • Suthenboy

        Gradually, then suddenly

    • bacon-magic

      Do we get the cool Banana Republic hats though?

      What a fucking farce. Even if Trump wins the blatant bullshit the Biden administration and the Deep State has done and gotten away with ensures the demise of this late stage Republic even faster.

      And Biden approved of Ukraine using military hardware for strikes in Russia…anybody want to guess what comes next there?

      • juris imprudent

        …what comes next there?

        I’m a little more concerned with what might come next here.

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        Do we get the cool Banana Republic hats though?

        Prices for vintage Duran Duran Panama hats are skyrocketing, undoubtedly

        https://images.app.goo.gl/DkYDFYeXVkUN4dqw5

  19. Suthenboy

    I love how when speaking wokester human beings- individuals are referred to as ‘bodies’ or ‘menstruators’. Their garbling of logic is one hell of a tell. Menstrator is not even a word. Dehumanize at all costs with a heapin’ helpin’ of cognitive dissonance.
    https://www.shethepeople.tv/home-top-video/menstruators-a-gender-neutral-inclusive-term-for-all-our-period-conversations/
    “Menstruators: A gender neutral & inclusive term for all our period conversations”
    Gender neutral. From Shethepeople. It’s inclusive.

    Period conversations. I have had them many times. They were all the same.
    Me: “I am sorry you have to go through that. It must be a terrible inconvenience.”
    Her: “Yeah, it is. I hate it.”

    • creech

      Campaign in handcuffs and orange jumpsuit,..and win big. Then revenge is best served cold.

      • juris imprudent

        And of course point to precedent when you create the star chamber.

    • rhywun

      I always loved “chestfeeders”.

      • SDF-7

        Makes me think of the Alien dinner scene.

    • juris imprudent

      for all our period conversations

      Real, and imaginary!

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      I’ve never understood the “black and brown bodies” formulation. Maybe they are trying to imply that whites don’t see them as human, only as bodies, but it seems that they are only dehumanizing themselves.

      • Suthenboy

        It seems, yes. They are Borg. They dehumanize everyone.
        Easier to make that omelet if you are just cracking eggs…just round bodies instead of murdering someone’s sister.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Guilty

    …of being Donald Trump.

    • cavalier973

      Yep.

      Now, we see what happens with the inevitable appeal.

      This means I’m voting for Trump. I don’t know when I’ll get another chance to vote for a convicted criminal for President again.

      • juris imprudent

        No shit, you’ve always voted for someone you thought might be a criminal, now you can be sure!

  21. cavalier973

    Guilty on all counts

    • juris imprudent

      I had a good band name today, I referred to Burning Man as being full of Dogmatic Degenerates.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    I assume my brother is ecstatic.

  23. Suthenboy

    Tooth regrowing? First I have heard of this. If it works well that is a huge development.

    • bacon-magic

      What about the teeth…down there? *points at no no zone

      • Rat on a train

        No Gelgamek women.

  24. Suthenboy

    My same standard rant for the last 20 yrs: No one wants you to be helpless for your own good. Gun-grabbers have plans for you and when you find out what those plans are you wont like them very much.

  25. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Zoom later, y’all?

    • CPRM

      Sure, but first I have to find some banana trees to plant.

    • Tonio

      Maybe.

      I may have to put out for the boyfriend to get him to fall asleep early.

      The things I do for U-ppl….

  26. Pine_Tree

    Trump should do a Gandalf/Kenobi thing now and bleach his hair white and start wearing a robe and carrying a staff.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    I wonder if the judge will bar Trump from any use of social media and the internet as part of the sentence.

    That would be the cherry on top of the democracy sundae.

  28. Tonio

    Okay, I just updated the post to reflect the verdicts. This will be the last post update for today. The big question is will he remain free pending appeal?

    • SDF-7

      With this judge? I’m betting “immediate incarceration with only monitored/allowed communications allowed out”.

      I’m sure PPP will read his well-prepared victory speech now that they intimidated the jury and all. The Correct Decision Was Reached, America…. we’ve preserved Democracy by locking up our opponents!

      • B.P.

        America made the wrong choice in 2016 so choices are no longer allowed.

        For Democracy.

  29. Suthenboy

    Least surprising and most concerning: Trump guilty verdict. What a fucking banana republic farce.

  30. The Other Kevin

    This is Biden’s out for the debate. They’re going to throw around “convicted felon” and he’ll refuse to share the stage with a criminal.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      As far as the debate goes Biden’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. I doubt it’ll make much difference either way.

    • juris imprudent

      Of course he’ll never roll up the welcome mat on his criminal son. With those two trials running, in sequence this summer – Biden is going to have it as rough as Trump.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    The big question is will he remain free pending appeal?

    I’m sure they’ll set a reasonable bail. Ten $billion ought to be fair.

  32. R.J.

    What is “Normacly” anyway?

    • The Gunslinger

      Now you mean?
      Normal is using the legal system to try and guarantee political victory and to silence dissent.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yep, the new but not really new normal. At least they used to try to hide it.

      • Tonio

        Yo, Slappy McFacepalm. My boy R.J. was the only person to call me out on my (deliberate) misspelling of “normalcy.”

      • R.J.

        I do it because I care. And because snark is a precious natural resource which has been in short supply lately.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Historically… this is definitely the case.

    • Tonio

      • Spudalicious

        Did they not read Hat & Hair yesterday?

      • Tonio

        The life of a Glibs linkster is a harsh one, as you well know.

        You think you’re playing to the pit with kitchen prose and gutter rhyme, and you end up getting reax from the box seats where the quality sit.

  33. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Trump verdict: Was hoping for a hung jury but this is about what I expected. Woe to anyone who has the eye of this shithole legal system turned on them. If he can be railroaded like this just think of what they can do to you.

    • cavalier973

      I hope that a lot of Americans are thinking about that

    • Rat on a train

      The state has been able to steal your property without proving you committed a crime. Now they can steal you.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    CNBC:

    em>His sentencing was quickly scheduled for July 11 at 10 a.m. ET. That is four days before the beginning of the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, where Trump is set to be formally confirmed as the GOP’s presidential nominee.

    Trump, who remains free without bail, faces a maximum possible sentence of four years in prison for each count.

    They didn’t clap him in irons on the spot and haul him off to Riker’s?

    • Tonio

      No, because that would cost the NY Department of Corrections big bucks, and create tensions between DOC personnel and US Secret Service. Imprisoning Trump, particularly at this point, is a sticky trap, and one which they are smart enough to recognize.

      Now they have the jury’s guilty verdict which they can crow about for months, and be extra indignant that he’s walking free because of white supremecist rethuglikkkan tricknology.

      • R.J.

        Interesting theory. I shall accept it as a bet, and say they ARE stupid enough to put him in jail. Loser must purchase a non-extravagant dinner for the winner.

      • CPRM

        You’re right, they’ll decide it’s too much hassle to jail him, so we’ll just skip to the guillotine.

      • Tonio

        Bet accepted, RJ.

  35. The Gunslinger

    I was going to not bother voting this year but will now be voting Trump.
    My vote will be cancelled out by a dead “voter” on the East side of the state but so be it.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    “Jurors, I want to thank you very much for your service,” Merchan said after the verdict was read. “That’s a long time to be away from your job, your families, your other responsibilities.”

    “I want you to know that I really admire your dedication, your hard work,” the judge said.

    There will be a statue of them on the Mall, some day.

    • Not Adahn

      Will the books be out on Amazon tomorrow, do you think?

    • Sean

      I don’t have happy thoughts.

  37. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    I’m going to be in DC and NYC next week. Could be exciting.

    • juris imprudent

      Not as exciting as acquittal would’ve been.

      • rhywun

        Avoid Times Square.

        Always a good plan.

        Law enforcement sources say the stabbing was tied to a group of scammers who sell compact discs to unsuspecting tourists in a shameless cash grab.

        I miss the desnudas from a more innocent age.

    • Tonio

      Godspeed and good luck.

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      Just…be safe. I, for one, am as happy as I’ve ever been not to be in DC anymore

      • rhywun

        Same here re: NYC.

        It’s unbelievable how quickly it’s sunk. My last time in Midtown (in September, saying goodbye for the last time) I could not believe what a shithole it’s become.

  38. B.P.

    Are all of the MAGA white supremacists currently out burning city centers to the ground? I’ve been assured they are the source of most political violence.

    • Tonio

      That’s what the left want. They want another J6 incident where they can lock up even more dangerous insurrectionists trying to subvert democracy.

      • juris imprudent

        That’s the other shoe to drop soon – SCotUS killing all of the Sarbanes-Oxley convictions. We won’t be talking about right-wing, white supremacist violence anymore.

  39. Suthenboy

    They love to call themselves progressives, a name that would have gotten your ass kicked in the streets once upon a time.
    Can someone explain the difference between Fascism and Progressivism to me? Their policies and the practical outcomes of their policies appear the same. I must be missing something.

    • juris imprudent

      Fascists don’t have GOOD INTENTIONS!!!! /prog-splaination

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Progressives are always “progressing” towards something so it never ends. The facists tend to be traditionalists at least and can be satiated at some point but not the progressives.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Fascism is/was a revolutionary ideology meaning that they sought to upend existing systems just as much as the Marxists do.

  40. CPRM

    My riding mower just stopped half way through the lawn. Looking up some models of my mower you can check the drive belt by removing the battery. Guess I’ll give that a shot.

    Gotta get that lawn short enough to figure out how to layout the banana plantation.

  41. creech

    Historically, another “villain” was found guilty and punished on this date. Joan of Arc was burnt at the stake. She’s now a revered heroine. How will history view OMB?

    • Sensei

      Like the Grant presidency.

    • Ted S.

      Was that date in the Julian or Gregorian calendar?

      • creech

        Calendars are a tool of white privilege, do it matters not.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    I shall accept it as a bet, and say they ARE stupid enough to put him in jail.

    The screeching from the shit flinging howler monkeys will be deafening if he isn’t at least put under house arrest and effectively muzzled.

    EQUAL UNDER THE LAW!!!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’ll try to jail/imprison him, I have no doubt. I’d like to see him brought out in an orange jumpsuit and shackles to take his oath of office, it’d be badass.

      • Gender Traitor

        Judge will rule immediate jail in solitary and no SS. The better to Epstein him./ kidding… kinda ..

  43. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    On the one hand, the U.S. is dead. On the other hand, I have grilled chicken

    https://ibb.co/bBj1SsJ

    • juris imprudent

      Eat the chicken, ignore the chickenshits.

      • R.J.

        Agreed. I made some street tacos. They are delicious. Being sad over the predetermined outcome of a sham trial solves nothing.

      • Ted S.

        So RJ is having a taco party?

    • Aloysious

      Yum, I say.

  44. Not Adahn

    Leftover Indian food is so flipping delicious.

  45. Winston

    So the US is officially a Banana Republic. What next?

    Still shocked it was Donakd Trump of all people who exposed that.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “What next?”
      Replace the stars on the flag with tiny bananas and maybe change our name to North Honduras.

      • B.P.

        In the meantime you can spark a regional freakout by hanging your American flag upside down.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    I was going to go out and do some errands. Now i don’t feel like it. Maybe I’ll have a turkey sammich.

    • Mojeaux

      Because the ham sandwich was indicted.

      • cavalier973

        *polite applause*

      • R.J.

        Well done!

      • Rat on a train

        We can now convict a ham sandwich. Progress!

    • Fatty Bolger

      Love that guy.

  47. Rebel Scum

    Do we even export bananas?

    That said I find this unsurprising. The left/deep state/neocons are commufascist totalitarians and will behave as such. Interesting times.

    • DEG

      Do we even export bananas?

      No, because East Atlanta and Alabama don’t have their shit together.

      • R.J.

        That’s a good one.

  48. Rebel Scum

    We are in the “Empire Strikes Back” phase. So we are going to have to do the “New Hope” phase again, more and harder.

    • rhywun

      Galactic levels of projection. God help us.

    • Rebel Scum

      Everything in that statement is inverted/projection and/or a lie.

    • The Gunslinger

      They couldn’t wake up Joe to read the pre-packaged statement?

  49. The Late P Brooks

    In the meantime you can spark a regional freakout by hanging your American flag upside down.

    If I had a flag, I’m not sure I could resist the temptation. I doubt anybody in my neighborhood would take offense.

    • Rebel Scum

      I may have to find one. I’m sure I have one around here somewhere…

  50. The Late P Brooks

    I was expecting (hoping for) a hung jury, but apparently the judge’s instructions rendered anything but a guilty verdict pretty much out of the question. When the news reports said they wanted to hear the instructions again, I figured it was a bad sign.

    • creech

      How so? The judge didn’t tell jurors they had to find him guilty even if a juror had reasonable doubt Trump committed a crime. Let’s not excuse the jurors and put all the blame on the judge.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    “The Biden campaign released a statement labeling Donald Trump a “dictator” and lecturing that “no one is above the law.”

    Ready and waiting to drop.

    • Sean

      The fix has been in since the start. They sat two lawyers on the jury, didn’t they?

      • R.J.

        Yes, the fix was in. Dershowitz has been covering it and discussing how crazy the judge is, and how nothing he did was a crime to begin with.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The dictator is the one who throws his opponent in jail over *hyuk hyuk* Trumped up charges. Biden is such a Goddamn piece of shit, I swear.

  52. R C Dean

    The sentence for multiple felonies will be interesting.

    What will be even more interesting is if Trump wins the election while sentenced to, at a minimum, some kind of house arrest in NY. How the fuck will that work?

    I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to vote at all, but if it helps set up that dumpster fire of a train wreck of a farce, I just might.

    Of course, I’m sure there’s more lawfare/legal shenanigans in the making to tee off the felony conviction. Any attempt to say a felon can’t be President is unconstitutional, of course, and should (should) get struck down. I imagine some states will try to say a convicted felon can’t appear on the ballot, or somesuch.

  53. R C Dean

    So, campaign slogan ideas?

    I got “Vote for the Felon, Not for the Moron”, but it doesn’t really scan as well as I’d like.

    • The Gunslinger

      Prison president not poopy president!

    • Ownbestenemy

      American Felon or Joe the Watermelon?

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Orange is the new Black.

      • hayeksplosives

        Winner.

    • juris imprudent

      Vote for the known criminal, not the suspected one!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Worked for Johnny Cash

  54. gbob

    Our country sure did a speedrun on that Roman Republic simulator, didn’t it?

    When shit falls, let’s try to keep our dark ages a little shorter this time around.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      These dark ages are going to be rough, the Vandals and the Huns didn’t have nukes.

  55. The Late P Brooks

    So, campaign slogan ideas?

    Something to do with going with a “government certified’ felon so you know what you’re getting?

  56. Lord Humungus

    If I was Trump, I would just fly to Florida. “Come and get me!”

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      Oh jeezus. What if it turns into a Shah of Iran-style situation? Like, De Santis will shelter DJT like the U.S. sheltered the Shah.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I believe the owner of Newsmax said that very thing.

      • Lord Humungus

        There is a point where one should not participate in one’s own execution. And if you have money, you have protection.

        This all – sort of – points to a Civil War-type event but I’ve been very wrong on these things before. Buy history often swings on unexpected events leading to cascading chain.

      • R.J.

        At least you’re dressed for it.

    • R C Dean

      I’m just surprised they chose a man for the position. Admittedly, he looks pretty unacquainted with testosterone, but still.

    • Suthenboy

      Wow. The whole anglosphere has descended into madness. That is one big ol’ steamin’ pile of runny gibberish.
      Something else: “to end the tragedy of deaths of Victorian women at the hands of men”
      There is something they aren’t saying here. Let me take a wild guess…
      Indigenous Australians whose culture has one of the worst history of treatment of women is where the problem is but the proggies cant say that, so like here they are going to project it onto whitey, destroy their own culture and leave the problem worse than it was before. I really am just spitballin’ here, I dont know enough about the goings on down there to say.

  57. Rebel Scum

    Welcome to ‘Who’s Justice System is it Anyway?’, where the crimes are made up and the law doesn’t matter!

  58. The Late P Brooks

    Nuance

    False reports about the jury instructions in former President Donald Trump’s hush money trial have been spreading across right-wing media, leading to threats against the judge overseeing the case.

    Several conservative news personalities, including some affiliated with Fox News, falsely claimed that Judge Juan Merchan, as one Fox News anchor put it in a viral post on X, “told the jury that they do not need unanimity to convict” Trump.

    That’s not true. Merchan instructed the jury on Wednesday that they “must conclude unanimously that a defendant conspired to promote or prevent the election of any person to a public office by unlawful means,” adding that they “need not be unanimous as to what those unlawful means were.”

    That means that jurors have to agree unanimously that Trump committed a crime by engaging in a criminal conspiracy to falsify records with the intent to commit one or more other crimes in order to convict him. But jurors can choose from three options about what those other crimes were: violations of the Federal Election Campaign Act; the falsification of other business records; or the violation of tax laws. Those “unlawful means” aren’t charges themselves and would not result in separate convictions, so jurors do not have to unanimously agree on them.

    The jury instruction was complex and nuanced and some right-wing accounts ran with false reports.

    What the fucking fuck?

    Was Trump on trial for election interference? I thought he was charged with misclassifying business expenses.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yeah, they don’t have to agree on the thing that elevates the charge to a felony, just that there was a thing. How is that NOT what right wing media was saying?

    • Rat on a train

      It’s like the Colorado case. A state court determined he committed a federal crime.

    • Rebel Scum

      He was on trial for being Trump.

  59. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    OK I need to stay off the Tweeters for a minute. The sass is starting in earnest.

    • R.J.

      Yeah, avoid that. Maybe we should Zoom tonight.

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        I suggested as much upthread. I’ll be on sometime after 8pm ET. Maybe I’ll have a rare skool nite beer.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Oh, are folk still on zoom? I may be able to in the near future.

    • cavalier973

      Head over to Truth Social

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      I had to make that decision today when I was called a racist for the 5th time today because I disagree with shoehorning inconsistent Negro League stats in with MLB stats, while naming a guy who had over 2000 fewer ABs than Ty Cobb had HITS now holding the all-time leader in batting average and slugging. Babe Ruth and Ty Cobb are no longer the kings, according to MLB, but Josh Gibson, a guy who played less than 4 full seasons in the MLB, and who played barnstorm games against Illinois corn farmers for most of his career.

      Yesterday he wouldn’t even be close to the minimum number of PAs to qualify for any lifetime records. Today he’s the best hitter ever.

      What a fucking farce.

  60. Animal

    My take on the Trump verdict: We’re probably closer to civil war than we have been since 1865. I don’t like to shamelessly self-promote but I’m just going to power through it: I’ll be writing a piece at RedState tomorrow on this.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Will read. Thanks on both fronts.