“So from now on, if anyone asked about your… health, just say ‘deep fake,’” Finnegan said.
“Deep fa-fa-fake?” Joe asked, his cream of wheat hardening in his bowl as it cooled.
“Try not to stutter, Grandpa,” she said, wiping off his face.
“Do I-I-I stutter?” Joe asked, his eyebrows going up, the constantly tightened skin of his face creaking.
“See,” she said brightly, “You’re getting it.”
“What’s he getting?” Kamala demanded as she wandered into The Oval Office.
“New media strategy,” Finnegan said.
“How are you feeling today, Joe?” Kamala asked him.
“Deep, uh, uh, uh, deep fake,” Joe said.
“I wish they worked that well,” Kamala said. “We could just keep you in here for the rest of the election.”
“It’s a deep fake!” Joe said.
“Now, now calm down,” Finnegan said. “You know adrenaline is bad when the Botox is settling in.”
Kamala glared at the backhand from Finnegan. “The minute I’m President…” she began.
“Until then…” Finnegan snapped as she pressed the injector into the thin skin of Joe’s neck after dialing up a full dose. The mix of nootropics, horse tranks, phentermine and microplastics hit Joe quickly and he shuddered.
“That’s not too much, is it?” Kamala asked hopefully.
“I know what I’m doing.” She swabbed Joe’s neck with alcohol and buttoned his collar.
“Who’s the sourpuss?” Joe asked.
“Kamala Harris, the Vice President,” Finnegan said, cleaning away the uneaten food and medical trash away into a blazing red biohazard hamper.
“Is she a deep fake?” Joe asked in a stage whisper.
“Yes and no,” Finnegan said.
“I outta slap the cunt out of you,” Kamala said.
“That’s not a very Juneteenth sort of sentiment,” Finnegan said.
“I don’t have to take this!” Kamala said and stormed out of The Oval Office.
“So she is a deep fake?” Joe asked as Finnegan helped him to stand.
“You have to get ready for you Juneteenth press conference,” she said, brushing off his suit jacket.
“What’s Juneteenth? Wait, something about Negros, right?”
“You can’t say Negro, Grandpa,”
“It was better when they knew their place,” Joe said. “They all have crack and AIDS, you know.”
“We are going to have to re-formulate. Way too much racism in this version.”
“What are you talking about?” Joe demanded, a flush of anger sluggishly crawling up his neck.
“Juneteenth, last slaves freed, deep fake, deep fake, deep fake,” she said, sheep-dogging him out of the room.
“That horrible woman isn’t going to be there, is she?” Joe asked.
“Which one? That doesn’t exactly narrow it down…” she said.
…and microplastics!
It’s the little things…
“Which one? That doesn’t exactly narrow it down…” she said.
Damn. Finnegan is getting feisty.
Maybe she reads this site
“Who’s the sourpuss?” Joe asked.
Like flipping a switch. With the finest minds in pharmaceutical research working round the clock to keep him up and running, it ought to work.
The interwebs of course are now full of Dem voters parroting the “deepfake” lie as though they actually believe it.
They have been selectively editing Trump for years and peddling that as truth. Now the full versions of Biden videos are the fake ones. The irony is rich.
I don’t know, that sounds like fake news to me.
The dem voters…they wouldn’t happen to be partially sentient AI bots, would they?
*Having seen a bit of AI work lately I am beginning to think the ‘sentience’ is the real deep fake.
Well, they bought into the life-long stutter nonsense.
Finnegan is the only person in this world that I like, sort of.
what did Cracky do to you?
“Is she a deep fake?” Joe asked in a stage whisper.
“Yes and no,” Finnegan said.
More like a punchline. And the joke’s on us.
The interwebs of course are now full of Dem voters parroting the “deepfake” lie as though they actually believe it.
Every time Trump flubs a name, it’s full blown Alzheimers.
“I outta slap the cunt out of you,”
A line I intend to use at least 2X before the week is over.
Foresees Tres having problems with the fairer sex before the week is over.
The ones he’s likely to say that to are probably not the fairer sex.
That all depends on the particular members of the fairer sex.
Goals.
I had a text exchange with my commonwealth bestie today about Juneteenth, since our company decided to post some nonsense about it.
My bestie had some disparaging thing to say about Meghan Markle, to which I replied “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”
His response was more to the point: “Or a princess out of a cunt.”
He would make a heckuvan ambassador.
In other English speaking countries cunt has more nuanced meanings besides the one in the U.S.
If you are male one of your buddies can be a cunt in wonderful evil bastard sort of way.
Well, youtube won’t show me the gym scene from the Gentlemen where the coach explains that calling the black boxer a “black cunt” is not necessarily racist.
I expect the corporate firewall is blocking lots of videos (I can’t see a lot of videos you folks link to).
kinnath:
I believe this is the scene you were looking for.
Neph. Video unavailable. So blocked by the firewall.
Everyone else can enjoy the video.
kinnath:
It was age gated, so it forced me to log in to watch it.
Interesting. So, if I signed into Google using my home persona instead of my work persona, I might be able to see these videos.
Not really worth it, but it’s different than the corporate firewall actually blocking content.
Neph, my workplace firewall blocks anything YouTube restricted regardless of sign on or not. Same issue.
kinnath, if it is the same or similar as mine it won’t change anything.
#metoo
I don’t think “deepfake” matters.
My wife and I went to the local diner in small town Iowa yesterday. There was a full-sized pickup trunk in the parking lot that had a camo ball cap sitting on the dash. The rear window had a FJB sticker.
The current administration has fucked over blue collar workers in so many ways the last three and a half years. The election should be shoo-in for anyone but Biden a this point.
And yet, I fear the election machine will put him back in office next January.
Here in blue collar land, there are very few pro-Biden signs around. There are lots of pro-Trump signs, flags, posters, fences, murals, and the like.
The Dem’s votes come from urban areas. Which not coincidentally are ideal for manufacturing bogus votes due to the large populations and control by Democrats.
I noticed something similar in NH in the run up to 2020.
Biden won here.
It turns out, middle of the road voters here in NH, the ones who tend to decide elections here in NH, find Trump toxic and won’t vote for him. But of course, it must be fortification because everyone loves Trump.
https://washingtonstand.com/news/shock-poll-1-in-5-mailin-voters-admit-to-committing-fraud-in-2020-election
It is only one poll, mainly as they are the only polling group asking that question, but it goes to show how the cheating worked in ’20. Keep the polls open as long as possible, ballot harvest, have your voters so freaked out that they don’t think twice about this. This is so diffused that there is no one to catch, as every one of these things was signed off on at the legal(ish) level. But!! You have to have enough of an engaged populous who supports what you want. If you don’t hit that number, it doesn’t work.
Alsotoo:
https://issuesinsights.com/2024/04/03/the-most-terrifying-poll-result-ive-ever-seen/
Clicking through to the Heartland Institute’s article I see:
The poll of 1,085 likely voters was conducted from November 30 to December 6, 2023.
There were about 155 million ballots cast. Also nothing about what states these likely voters are in.
So, I’m not going to bother with this poll.
“10,000 Mules” was a much better and more convincing documentation of fraud in 2020.
I don’t think “deepfake” matters. – the narative matters more than reality. It don’t matter no one believes it.
https://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/news/politics/iowa-poll/2024/06/17/2024-election-donald-trump-vs-joe-biden-vs-robert-kennedy-jr-iowa-poll/74088665007/
Looks like Iowa is tired of FJB
“But there’s no proof of vote fraud!!”
say the people working very hard to eliminate any possible way to prove it, like requiring ID, in-person voting, advance registration, paper ballots for recount, etc.
And now I really want to see a full-bore, weave-yanking, nail-slashing. ring-slapping hootenanny between Kamela and Finnegan. Maybe with a little kissing as the scene fades to black…
Agreed. SugarFree, can we put in a special order?
“We are going to have to re-formulate. Way too much racism in this version.”
The Democratic party since it’s founding, yet they still haven’t gotten it right.
Lower intelligence leads to less self-awareness. They should just rename the party Dunning-Kruger.
Money shot
President Joe Biden again taunted Donald Trump as a “convicted felon” during a high-dollar fundraiser Tuesday, saying his likely opponent in November’s election is waging an “all-out assault” on the U.S. legal system.
Tuesday’s event with former President Bill Clinton raised $8 million for Biden’s reelection campaign. That’s part of a roughly $40 million sum raised by Biden and his top surrogates over the last five days, according to the campaign. The vast majority came from Saturday’s glitzy fundraiser with movie stars and former President Barack Obama in Los Angeles that raised more than $30 million. First lady Jill Biden also has been on her own personal fundraising swing that has brought in $1.5 million.
Biden and Clinton, who appeared together with Obama at a March fundraiser at Radio City Music Hall in New York, headlined Tuesday’s event, held at the home of former Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe, a longtime Clinton adviser. Author John Grisham, Jill Biden and former first lady Hillary Clinton also attended the event in McLean, Virginia, a tony Washington suburb.
Maybe Joe is planning to pull in as much loot as he can, decline the nomination at the convention, and take the money and run.
Biden and his team are absolutely terrible at politics. They keep misreading the room. They somehow think people are going to forget about the inflation, high gas prices, high interest rates, and border invasion because Trump was convicted of their bullshit charges. It’s not working out for them.
Forget about what? There is no inflation! Wages are up! Everything is fine! Why today, the price of beef decreased to $5/ounce!
The best economy in the world!
Better check your prices again.
vs. Trump’s 140M bump after his conviction.
Maybe Joe is planning to pull in as much loot as he can, decline the nomination at the convention, and take the money and
runwander around aimlessly for a while until Dr. Jill can lead him away.“It was better when they knew their place,” Joe said. “They all have crack and AIDS, you know.”
Racist Slo Joe is the best Slo Joe.
Watching Rekieta’s stream from last night over lunch. He comes out swinging. I didn’t expect any kind of apology, because anything like that would be tantamount to admitting to the charges against him.
Not sure it was a good idea for him to do this, though, although he probably needs some income.
He strongly implies that the arresting officers lied about the conversations they documented they had with him.
Biden told a backyard crowd of about 450 that Trump was desperate and “the threat Trump poses in a second term will be greater than his first,” while referencing the former president’s 34 felony convictions in a New York hush money case.
“For the first time in American history, a former president is a convicted felon,” Biden said, adding, “But, as disturbing as that is, more damning is the all-out assault Trump is making on our system of justice.”
Biden has for weeks personally decried the former president for claiming that the case against him was politically motivated, saying “it’s reckless, it’s dangerous, it’s irresponsible for anyone to say this was rigged just because they don’t like the verdict.” But Biden’s campaign has launched a $50 million ad buy through the end of June that includes its first television ad highlighting Trump’s conviction, signaling they see the case as an issue of political strength heading into Election Day.
Who’s desperate?
Rigging the legal system gas less to do with the verdict than with dragging your victim through the mud.
Given the insane hyperbole over the last 8 years about Trump we are supposed to believe the boogey man is more scariester than ever?
I see.
Didn’t anyone ever read ‘The boy who cried wolf’ to these idiots when they were children?
For them it was the boy who cried Republican, and they never learned. Every time they hear it they piss themselves.
Again, it is the is/ought problem. We see the world as it IS, and deal accordingly. They see the world as it OUGHT to be, and deal accordingly.
Neither is always right nor wrong, lest we would still be beating our wives with a stick less than the thickness of our thumb, and telling our daughters who they could and could not marry.
…and telling our daughters who they could and could not marry.
Whoa there, hoss. I have no intention of giving up that particular tradition!
Hint: have a Viking son. Problem solved!
Other former presidents be like
Hillary Clinton compared herself in 2016 to Cassandra in Greek mythology, who could see the future but wasn’t believed, saying, “That’s how I felt in 2016, when I was raising the alarm about Donald Trump.”
Now, though, she said: “We can all understand how dangerous it would be ever to entrust him and his allies and his enablers to lead our country. He did such tremendous damage.”
Stop it. You’re killing me.
FusionGPS bitch – that was all of your doing. You can wear that like a dog that’s killed a chicken and had it wired around its neck.
Funny comparison, considering that Cassandra was indisputable the villain of that story…
Did she happen to mention any details about the carnage he wrought?
I have ended more than a few rants about OMB’s horrors with “What, specifically, has he done?”
It always ends the same way: “I dont want to talk about it anymore.”
It would be funny but having my country infested with brainwashed useful idiots is not funny.
We are going to have to re-formulate.
Wonder if Agile Cyborg would consult on this?
I miss Agile Cyborg.
Same.
If AC were doing the dosing our march towards tyranny would taste like technicolor.
😵💫 🚀 🌈 💫
Clinton said it was hard to understand why people who lived through the COVID-19 pandemic and Trump’s presidency could still support the Republican, but “sadly, there are many of our fellow Americans who seem willing to take that risk.” She also called Trump a “clear and present danger.”
If only the plague had been more effective at killing deplorables.
We always knew they were thinking it but Clinton pulled the curtain back on them when she openly derided voters. What kind of retard thinks that is a winning strategy in a popularity contest?
*I know, I know, the popular vote is symbolic. The POtUS is chosen by electors.
I think that was a turning point, and Biden has taken that strategy and run with it. Meanwhile this time around Trump is campaigning in places no Republican ever bothered to go. To me it shows the Dems are convinced they can write off a big chunk of voters because they either have the votes they need, or can cheat their way to a win.
Meanwhile this time around Trump is campaigning in places no Republican ever bothered to go.
He did it in 2020. Here’s one example.
To me it shows the Dems are convinced they can write off a big chunk of voters
It’s worked for them in the past.
Same here TOK. I am just wondering if those voters have realized they dont count anymore.
They seem to think that people won’t actually remember that things were pretty good both domestically and globally when Trump was president. I guess they’re just going for the Goebbels “big lie” strategy where you tell a big enough lie and repeat it often enough people just come to think it’s true.
“Deep, uh, uh, uh, deep fake,” Joe said.
“I wish they worked that well,” Kamala said. “We could just keep you in here for the rest of the election.”
I thought she was going to go someplace else with “deep”.
Not including landing with a crew that is both alive and uninjured.
I guess that is 86 and 87.
Boeing Sent Two Astronauts Into Space. Now It Needs to Get Them Home.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo&ab_channel=DavidBowie
Peter Schilling – Major Tom
Golden Smog – Starman
Bowie’s in Space
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8f_XCH3zmM
That’s brilliant!
From the comments:
That surprises me not at all.
Took me a while to find one with English lyrics.
Mizu no hoshi e ai wo komete
But I’m drifting off theme.
They seem to think that people won’t actually remember that things were pretty good both domestically and globally when Trump was president. I guess they’re just going for the Goebbels “big lie” strategy where you tell a big enough lie and repeat it often enough people just come to think it’s true.
Exactly. And they are desperate to get people to believe hundreds of millions died from, the plague. The population would have been completely wiped out had it not been for the selfless sacrifice and hard work of public health experts and government officials.
From where I sat, the plague was a big nothingburger. The “protective measures” were more destructive than the so-called pandemic virus. I can’t help thinking I’m not the only one.
You’re not. The girlfriend and I lost more friends due to suicide/OD than to the ‘vid.
The “protective measures” were
morehalf as destructive as the spending orgy.I purchased a bottle of your American whiskey. If it is not good I blame you lot. Rossville Union 7 year old Straight Rye Barrel Proof. seems to be mgp.
MGP may have done the distillation, but the product would have been aged and blended (but not cut in this case) by the brand doing the release. That’s one that I’m not familiar with though.
On the flip side, I had to laugh when a cocktail book I was reading was talking about how hard it is to find Rittenhouse Rye, and if you see it you should immediately buy it and make Manhattans with it. It’s pretty common in my area.
seems to be in fact an MGP house brand
PA state will ship it (Rittenhouse) to my doorstep, if I so desired. And it’s in stock at the store close to my work.
Made me look. It’s available here, no problem. At $27 a bottle it is not priced as a rarity.
Sean:
The entire book is very much focused on the brand availability in the “big markets” on the coasts. Assuming Swiss still wants more content, after I finish the book, I’ll likely do a write up of it for the site. It fails in one thing, nearly every recipe calls for specific brands and expressions of spirits, which is a pet peeve of mine.
They’re talking about different styles of cachaca (of which there are 3 brands, one of which has two expressions available in the state), while lamenting how hard it is to get Rittenhouse.
Rittenhouse is generally available in Romania.
You are either gonna drink Irish or Bourbon. Everything else is… CRAWP!!
Cascade Brewing — Closed
https://www.oregonlive.com/beer/2024/06/portland-brewery-a-pioneer-of-sour-ales-shuts-down-possibly-for-good.html
Too bad.
Well that sucks. Cascade Barrel House was awesome.
Sounds like a normal family business. Too bad.
There’s a reason I have no ill will for Larry Bell cashing out when he did. He had wanted his daughter to take it over, she worked in the business for a while, and decided it wasn’t for her. At least this way the brand (and recipes) live on.
Frankly, I would never blame anyone for taking the money. Starting a business is borderline retarded, so building it to a point where someone wants to buy it is a minor miracle.
That said, I’m glad Bell’s still exists.
That said, I’m glad Bell’s still exists.
#metoo
That is too bad. But it also sounds like the early plot points of Strange Brew with Bob and Doug McKenzie.
“Fleshy-headed mutant, are you friendly?”
That sucks, I love sours.
“Expect a prison sentence.”
Popcorn time.
Rare lichen hardest hit.
A square inch of lichen is worth more that every member of Stop Oil combined.
I agree with you there.
more that every member of Stop Oil combined.
That’s a low bar.
Oh. Right. The point.
This is where cruel and unusual punishments are justified.
We can only hope that the rare lichen subsists on human blood.
Tossing their asses into a peat bog and letting them try to swim out?
Tie them to a caber first, and we have a deal.
I encourage these morons to keep it up and crystalize peoples’ association of climate activists with destructive assholes.
It amuses me that they admitted to it right on Twitter.
Sorry, first time with the new submission system – I think it’s in the queue for review – but the feedback process is a little weirder. Think I got the format looking good with spacing now that it started under the new template from scratch.
Thanks.
Minor stuff which I fixed. Looks good to go.
how hard it is to find Rittenhouse Rye, and if you see it you should immediately buy it and make Manhattans with it.
I’m obviously a Philistine, but why would you expend a lot of time and money hunting down a high quality whiskey and then pollute it with fruit juice and sweetener when you could just use Southern Comfort?
Fruit juice and sweetener? A Manhattan is traditionally whiskey and sweet vermouth (at a 2:1 ratio), the Perfect Manhattan is a (4:1:1 ratio of whiskey, sweet vermouth, and dry vermouth). Stirred, not shaken. And use fresh vermouth, vermouth is just fortified and spiced wine, it goes bad.
And Rittenhouse is under $30 a bottle here, so it’s not a high cost one, and is right in my wheelhouse for the cost of a mixing bottle.
Speaking of vermouth, that drives me crazy. Vermouth gets sold in 750mL bottles here. Very hard to find a small bottle that you might actually finish before it goes sour. This must be a communist plot.
R.J.:
The better liquor stores/grocery stores around here (both can sell it as it’s under 21% ABV) sell 375 mL bottles of vermouth. You can also help by storing the vermouth in the fridge.
That annoys me too. I cracked a bottle of Carpano Antica this weekend to make a round of Negronis for the folks*, and now I have to finish the bottle before it oxidizes. On the plus side, sweet vermouth and club soda is pretty much soda pop for grown-ups, and I have a SodaStream all ready to go.
* – we ended up drinking them whilst lounging around in the swimming pool. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything so sybaritic in my life. If you have the means, I highly recommend it.
Neph: is it true that the tradition of adding fruit to cocktails was from Prohibition in response to the nastiness of the available hooch?
Tundra:
Partially, the cheap hooch during Prohibition was made more palatable by adding more sweeteners and syrups than pre-prohibition cocktails. You can see the adjustments in some of the ratios used for recipes (of course, as with most cocktail history, there’s a lot more that’s lost to time than was kept).
To put it into some kind of “ages”, you had:
Pre-Prohibition – The old stand byes. Anything that survived through prohibition to still be recorded is well worth trying at least once. While most were simple, there were some complicated drinks (such as my beloved Satan’s Whiskers, and the new variant to it I learned of, the Satan’s Soulpatch) and a trend towards punches and flips.
Prohibition – More sweeteners and syrups started to show up, and higher end cocktails faded. Some drinks from this era have survived (although their recipes have been adjusted in the years since). Look to the Bee’s Knees for an example
The Gilded Age – Cocktails are king, especially the martini. Drinking was hip and cool, and everyone was doing it. During this time, the martini started to lose the vermouth, and become just chilled gin. Tiki drinks came into existence and brought joy to the world.
The Disco Era – Drinks become even more sweeter, blender drinks became common, vodka entered the discussion, and lots of bad decisions were made.
The Dark Ages – Sour Mix, glowing red maraschino cherries, poorly mixed drinks, TGIFridays.
The Martini Revolution – Every cocktail is now referred to as a “martini”, but they took off. Unfortunately, it also led to the martini glass becoming an oversized monstrosity with a 10-12 ounce capacity (meaning a full pour would be 8-10 ounces of liquor).
Now – You are alive now, you should know what’s happening now. 🙂
Wow!
Thanks, Neph!
…and lots of bad decisions were made.
Literal LOL
Leave maraschino cherries alone!
Tundra:
Not a problem, I wasn’t expecting it to go on that long. Hell, maybe I should stretch it out and toss in some recipes (some of which would be repeats, but it’s not like you lot read all of the articles anyway 🙂 ). For the record, the Satan’s Soulpatch is the Whiskers with the gin swapped out for bourbon. I made the girlfriend a modern Bee’s Knees last weekend, she wants to try the Prohibition one (which ups the lemon juice and honey syrup).
Mojeaux:
I do not want to ban them nor take them away from anyone. But I prefer (and use) the higher end brandied ones in my drinks (currently it’s Luxardo in the fridge).
Cause you aren’t trying to get a junior high girl drunk?
1.) Rittenhouse is not a high-quality whiskey. It’s good, but certainly nothing earth-shattering.
2.) A Manhattan contains no fruit juice beyond what my have been clinging on to the maraschino cherry. A Manhattan is rye, sweet vermouth, and bitters, shaken over ice and strained into a cocktail glass.
3.) A good cocktail depends on using good ingredients. The idea that you can use any shit hooch off the rack because you’re mixing it with sweetener and bitters, is how you get shitty cocktails. You Philistine.
See? I don’t even know what a Manhattan is. Maybe I was thinking of an old fashioned. I used to just drink it out of the bottle.
The Old Fashioned doesn’t have fruit in the traditional formulation either, bitters, sugar cube, and liquor. That’s why I use it as a test at new bars. If it comes out with fruit salad in it, then I know that I should not get cocktails at that bar.
I also like seeing some places do “upgraded” versions of classic drinks (the Paloma being a common one) where they get rid of some unhip ingredient (grapefruit pop in the case of the Paloma) and replace it with juices, syrups, and soda water and still refer to it as traditional. To me it strikes like making a Key Lime Pie with whole milk and sugar instead of the sweetened condensed milk. The recipes called for the canned sugar milk because that’s what they would have on hand. Know why the tradition exists before you cast it aside, the upgrade may be much better, but call it a modern twist.
Manhattan
Manhattan
I’m currently reading “The World Remade”, a companion book to “The World Undone” about WWI.
“Remade” focuses on things from the US point of view, so naturally it goes into deep detail about Woodrow Wilson. I am now convinced he is the president who did the most grievous, lasting harm to the United States of all presidents. What a cunte.
We have yet to see what Obama has wrought.
Finnegan is getting salty. Me likey.
“You can’t say Negro, Grandpa,”
He just did, boy is she stupid.