“So, so, so can I d-drone him or not?” Joe asked, the flies around his gaping mouth going in and out, trying to lay maggots on his numb, dead tongue.
“Grandpa, you need to calm down. Your heart rate is way too high,” Finnegan said, reading Joe’s Apple iWatch Pro Max.
“I’m, uh, fine, Jill. What there talk… What were talking about?” Joe said. Finnegan looked at the time. 3:30 in the afternoon. Earlier and earlier.
“Drones, Daddy,” Hunter said. “Flying robots that kill bad guys. You love drones.”
“Flying r-r-r-bots?” Joe looked up at the ceiling and gasped. “I can see them. I can!” Finnegan snorted in disgust.
“I told you not to let him debate,” she hissed at her father.
“He’s a grown man, Daughter Dearest,” Hunter said, scratching under his jock strap with elaborate thoroughness.
“Is the, what, you know, debate tonight?” Joe asked. A spot of oatmeal on his shirt was hardening into a dense little button.
“The debate was last week!” Finnegan called out.
“How did I do?” Joe said, getting out a coherent sentence.
“You did great, Daddy!” Hunter said. “You wiped the floor with that bad orange man!”
“Orange? Like, you know, the thing?”
Finnegan sighed heavily. She injected a syringe of cloudy yellow fluid into his PICC line and watched his eyes and face intently. She nodded to herself when his pupils grew to swamp his irises and he finally closed his mouth.
“I can’t give him too much more of this today,” she said. Hunter rolled his encrusted eyes.
“My son,” Joe said, holding out his arms to Hunter. “My beautiful son.”
“Drone him, Daddy. Drone the bad man,” Hunter whispered.
“Fucking stop that!” Finnegan snapped. She threw the syringe like a dart and it lodged into the slack skin of Hunter’s stomach.
“SCOTUS says it’s OK. Daddy can kill anyone he wants!” He pulled the syringe out his stomach, smirked, licked it twice, and dropped on the filthy Oval Office carpet.
“It smells in here,” Joe said. “When’s lunch?”
“Drones for lunch! Missiles for breakfast!” Hunter screeched.
“This is a fucking looney bin!” Finnegan screamed and stormed out, thunder claps and lightning strikes.
“I think Jill is on her period,” Joe said to Hunter, grinning vacantly, and then just vacant.
“Whatever happened to political assassinations?” Hunter mused. “I mean, people threaten them all the time, but so few have the gumption to follow through. We need to go back to the 60s, That was a paradise of assassinations. Remember the 1960s? ”
Joe looked up at him with black black eyes and said, “No, not really.”
“Hunter!” Cracky said. “Hunter! I need you!”
“Cracky! Where are you?” Hunter called, giggling.
“I’m in the couch cushions!” Cracky said. “You left me here this morning, silly.”
Hunter skipped to the couch and dug out his best friend.
“I missed you, Cracky,” Hunter said, cradling him like a crack rock Baby Jesus.
“I missed you too!” Cracky said and began purring.
“We need another opinion here, Cracky,” Hunter said to his pet rock. “Do you think Daddy should kill Orange Man with a drone strike?”
“Of course he should!” Hunter squeaked in Cracky’s voice. “Kill them all, all the MAGAts! Burn them in their beds! Skin their wives! Rape their children in half!”
“Oh, Cracky,” Hunter said, stroking his chipped surface. “You’re so naughty today!”
“BLOOD!” Cracky screamed. “CRACKY DEMANDS BLOOD! SOAK ME IN TRUMP’S BLOOD!”
“Who’s talking?” Joe asked.
“We are going to be late for our Cabinet meeting, Daddy,” Hunter said, rocking his flaky baby back and forth.
“Cabinet meeting?” Joe asked, his eyes sliding to the credenza in a nystagmus stutter.
“We need to go, Daddy,” Hunter said, parking Cracky in his jockstrap.
“You’re the o-o-only one I trust,” Joe said.
“BLOOD!” Cracky screamed.
“Yo, yo, yo, what’s hap-happen, my n-words?” Kamala said, jiving into the room on a pimp strut. “Imma get out that Black vote for you cracka motherfuckas!”
“BLOOD!”
this has been
THE RISE OF DARK CRACKY
Kamala to Joe: “What we can be, unburdened by what has been.”
https://rumble.com/v5591t0-tucker-notices-something-about-the-debate-no-one-noticed.html
Please remember – 30 minutes before you ignore the work of our contributors and go off on your own tangent.
Thank you.
/TPTB
When does the Dark Cracky merch drop?
I’m pretty sure adding radium to crack makes smoking it that much worse for your lungs.
Unintentional Discworld reference? Nice!
Is Dark Cracky available as a stuffed toy?
Oh God, I hope so.
In.
Available on all the swankiest street corners in Baltimore.
“This is a fucking looney bin!” Finnegan screamed and stormed out, thunder claps and lightning strikes.
Command center of the free world.
You’d think that for POTUS they could spring for the Apple iWatch Pro Max Titanium.
In Rose Gold of course.
With an Apple Vision Pro headset.
I see the typo has been fixed.
Was it a typo? I thought it was an answer to the Calvin & Hobbes question.
Same. I kind of liked it
I missed it. Like our Calvinball debate rules?
It was a present for those that come early.
That wasn’t a deliberate illustration of how Hunter and Cracky are two dissociative personalities in the same body?
Huh.
That was my first thought
It wasn’t a typo. But I was incommunicado when it got proofread. It works both ways.
“So, so, so can I d-drone him or not?” Joe asked, the flies around his gaping mouth going in and out, trying to lay maggots on his numb, dead tongue.
Holy shit, that was, um, something…
I was literally eating my lunch when I read that line.
That’s one way to diet…
That’s what you get for having lengua tacos for lunch.
I wish I was lying when I say there are vascular patients that arrive to the hospital with maggots living in their necrotizing limbs
*Cymothoa exigua has entered the chat*
So some lefties on derpbook are having convulsions over presidential immunity for official acts, going on about how the president can just murder people at will. So I posted a link to Obama’s drone killing of an American citizen including Obama’s contention he had the right to kill Americans outside of a combat zone and said “Yes, you’re right, Obama should be charged with murder”.
No response so far….
“That’s different.”
I’m anticipating the answers, with excuse number one.
I think that Dark Cracky is going to be my new Reddit avatar…
Dark Cracky is just too awesome.
“Of course he should!” Hunter squeaked in Cracky’s voice.
Wait, I want to know is Cracky real or not!?
Cracky is real as long as there’s one crackhead in the White House who believes in him.
*wipes away tear* then Biden must win.
Betting odds have crashed. Biden is down to 9.7.
That graph is amazing. Talk about a cliff.
I’m almost rooting for Harris and her Authentic Frontier Gibberish.
“Today is today. And yesterday was for us today, but yesterday. And tomorrow will be for us today, but tomorrow. So live today so that what is coming today will be for you like yesterday today, only tomorrow.”
Just amazing, really.
We are all interested in the future, for that is where we will all spend the rest of our lives.
“You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?’ You exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you.”
You forget to end with a cackle.
I’ve… seen things you people wouldn’t believe…
Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.
I watched C-Beams glitter in the dark
Near the Tannhäuser Gates.
All those… moments… will be lost in time,
Like tears… in… rain.
Time… to die…
Time… to die…
Well, when this woman is elected, that may well be true.
“And so for years we have worked to expand investment in community banks because, you see, community banks specialize in providing loans and financial assistance to small business owners, in particular those in overlooked and underserved communities, including rural communities. And as the name suggests, community banks are in the community.”
Twirling! Twirling!
It can’t be that bad.
*opens link*
Oh shit.
Trump could not have dreamed up better opponents. As for Harris, yes CPA, I was certain Tundra was making that up.
It is worse than “imagine what can be unburdened by what has been.”
Holy shit. “forget how badly we have fucked up and fucked you over, let is keep doing it.”
What is the dark green line that was running at 35 percent at the beginning of the graph and then hit bottom? National dignity?
Yes. Also, DeSantis.
Harris has passed Biden, that cant be right. Zombie Biden has a better chance just on incumbency status. Kamala might be Pres on election day, but she aint getting elected.
Rotten to the core
Democratic Rep. Jared Golden of Maine assumes our democracy would survive a second Donald Trump term. His misplaced optimism is difficult to understand.
——-
in an op-ed for the Bangor Daily News, the three-term Maine congressman not only predicts a Trump victory, he argues that there’s no reason to be overly concerned about the damage the Republican might do.
Democrats’ post-debate hand-wringing is based on the idea that a Trump victory is not just a political loss, but a unique threat to our democracy. I reject the premise. … This Independence Day marks our nation’s 248th birthday. In that time, American democracy has withstood civil war, world wars, acts of terrorism and technological and societal changes that would make the Founders’ head spin. Pearl-clutching about a Trump victory ignores the strength of our democracy.
The best-case scenario is that Golden knows better, but he wrote a strange op-ed in order to distance himself from his national party and align himself with his more conservative, rural constituents.
The worst-case scenario is that Golden actually believes what he wrote.
America is one stiff electoral breeze way from collapsing like a house of cards.
Where do these fucking people come from?
Each election is the most important one EVAR!
Because we barely survived Trump’s first term? I forget exactly what was so horrifying and dangerous then.
These people are fucking insanely stupid (stupidly insane?).
The extermination camps were just days away from opening.
Covid II – Electric BirdFlu-a-loo will be much more effective.
Everyone will wear three masks and get 14 shots.
“If not for the shots my
covidbird flu would have been so much worse.”Permissive-yet-uninterested two-income single-child households, college liberal arts departments, Reddit, and whatever the KGB is calling itself these days.
Wow there’s still one sane guy in the party.
They’ll have kicked him out by the end of the week.
“Go live with that racist monster, Susan Collins, you asshole!”
“Because we’re Democrats and Democrats lie.”
“Yo, yo, yo, what’s hap-happen, my n-words?” Kamala said, jiving into the room on a pimp strut. “Imma get out that Black vote for you cracka motherfuckas!”
Pure poetry.
If being Indian gave her more prestige with the bien pensants, she’d be head-waggling with the best of them.
As stated above, “What we can be, unburdened by what has been.”
“What we can be, unburdened by what has been.”
This is actually a pretty nifty way to express that our past is not necessarily our destiny.
But, if a speech writer wrote that, she doesn’t understand it. And if she came up with it, it was an accident.
100% chance someone came up with that and drilled it into her.
She repeats it by rote.
And she makes is sound more stupid each time she says it.
But, if a speech writer wrote that, she doesn’t understand it. And if she came up with it, it was an accident.
In either case, from the Russel Brand link, she’s been milking it like a Swiss maid on speed.
Speaking of, who had Russel Brand red-pilled on their card? I know he’s been there for a while, but I still find it surprising.
Re: Russel Brand. He was not on my red pill bingo card, that’s for sure. I guess when you get “me too” allegations you can either bend the knee or lift the vail.
“This is actually a pretty nifty way to express that our past is not necessarily our destiny.”
That’s a very charitable interpretation. I think it’s basically just gussied up Year Zero millenarianism and/or an earnest desire that people ignore history in order to evade accountability.
He was red pilled before the allegations. The allegations were to demonetize him and get him to shut up.
It just reinforced his belief that he was on the right track
But if people are unburdened by what has been, how are they going to get their reparations paid? I mean, is she DENYING the SCIENCE! of intergenerational trauma?
That’s a very charitable interpretation.
What can I say. It’s a rare day when I can listen to these twats and not be full of rage.
Russell Brand red pilled and saved. Yeah not on my bingo card.
Russell Brand got Glenn Greenwald.
For all intents and purposes, the presumptive Republican nominee isn’t just running against President Joe Biden, Trump is also running against democracy itself. We’re talking about a radical, twice-impeached felon who has repeatedly raised the prospect of creating a temporary American “dictatorship,” and who has talked about “terminating” parts of the U.S. Constitution that stand in the way of his ambitions.
Blah blah blah
*Big Bad Wolf howls in distance*
I’ve been taking great pleasure lately, in explaining to some of my left-leaning friends how much contempt I have for democracy.
Why do you hate Our Democracy®, ES?
I hate Our Democracy™ even more than I hate democracy.
Wolves, sheep, what’s for dinner and all that.
Our founders too great pains not to create a democracy and were adamant about that. I cringe every time I hear some fuck-nut say “our democracy”.
“Explain to me again how somebody winning an election is the end of democracy?”
“Explain to me again how somebody winning an election is the end of democracy?”
The Germans voted Hitler into office!!
The Germans voted Hitler into office!!
And now it is a federal state and parliamentary democracy. See, easy-peasy.
“You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?’ You exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you.”
History is dead. The past is a sham.
They are all advocating for year zero one way or another.
The extermination camps were just days away from opening.
This time, they’ll use crowdsourced raves and street takeovers as a front for pop-up death camps.
Ya’ know, that might actually work.
So that’s the reason behind Olympic break dancing!
Pop up death camp is the name of my next band.
Biden will be conferring the Medal of Honor on two Civil War soldiers later today. Both were overlooked when the first MOH were given out to the participants in the “Andrews Raid/ Great Locomotive Chase” in 1862. Yet, one Civil War hero continues to be overlooked. At about this time, on this date, 161 years ago, Brig. Gen. George Armstrong Custer led two Michigan “Wolverines” regimental attacks on Jeb Stuart’s crack Confederate division at Gettysburg and possibly saved the Union Army from ignominious defeat. Flamboyant, reckless, courageous – all of the above. But deserving of a MOH in any case.
The two dimensional characters in comic-book history are so problematic.
My favorite is Lee. “Slavery is the greatest evil of our time. It demoralizes both the slave and the slaveholder. As an institution it must be destroyed utterly and completely. ” – speech before the civil war.
After the civil war he inherited slaves from his parents-in-law and did not free them.
*that and other abolitionists in principle but not practice led me to my finally-satisfied-with definition of ‘civilized’ and the state of technology as the defining factor.
Lee inherited the slaves before the Civil War and the will stipulated they must be manumitted within five years. Lee took every one of those five years, freeing the last slave on the last day. After the war, Lee urged southerners to refuse employment to freed blacks. He,like Lincoln, never considered blacks to be serving of the same rights as whites.
That is more detail than I was aware of but the last part of my comment remains. It explains a lot.
To add one more bit: Our country, as has mankind in general, always been split between those who see individuals as ends in themselves and those that see individuals as means to an end.
I look forward to our Darth Kracky overlord. He will save us from the communist lesbian space witch, the one called Kumala.
Now that I think about it, I want a Darth Kracky and ZARDOZ team up.
Cracky would be opposed to Zardoz. Cracky wants to make the brutals happy.
Like hell. Cracky wants blood sacrifice.
Blood orgy sounds more on brand.
OBJ FRANKELSON:
Pictured.
Neph… that or something from Underworld.
*desire to be stepped on by Kate Beckinsale intensifies*
Beckinsale is so very, very hot.
And, I’m certain, a very, very big pain in the ass.
All I can think of is her ex, when she hooked up with Pete Davidson (really?), just dropping, a “yeah, enjoy.”. The voice of a dude who was extremely tired of her shit.
https://nypost.com/2024/07/03/entertainment/kate-beckinsale-confesses-to-flashing-department-store-and-making-prank-calls-to-deal-with-grief/
Today’s NYP!
Her face is unrecognizable.
We pledge our undying love to Daddy Warbucks
Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin said Tuesday that the U.S. will soon announce an additional $2.3 billion in security assistance for Ukraine, to include anti-tank weapons, interceptors and munitions for Patriot and other air defense systems.
Austin’s remarks came as Ukrainian Defense Minister Rustem Umerov met with him at the Pentagon. And they mark a strong response to pleas from Kyiv for help in battling Russian forces in the Donetsk region.
Of that total, $150 million of the aid will come from presidential drawdown authority (PDA) and the remainder will be provided by Ukraine Security Assistance Initiative (USAI). PDA allows the Pentagon to take the weapons from its stocks and send them more quickly to Ukraine; USAI puts weapons on longer-term contracts.
“Make no mistake, Ukraine is not alone, and the United States will never waver in our support,” Austin said as he opened the meeting with Umerov. “Alongside some 50 allies and partners, we’ll continue to provide critical capabilities that Ukraine needs to push back Russian aggression today and to deter Russian aggression tomorrow.”
War today. War tomorrow. War forever.
Joe said to Hunter, grinning vacantly, and then just vacant.
I like the ambiguity.
Co, NY, and Mn are blue enclaves. Pa will fortify blue and has trended blue recently. Az, ga, and nc still poll pro Biden, and Maricopa fraud will carry the state. Mi re elected Whitmer. Ne was already red on my count. Va loves themselves some mic and will support Biden. Nm has voted Dem for Pres since 2008, That leaves Maine, NH, and WI. In other words, the republicans better have a ballot harvesting machine if they want to win.
I hope Biden and all of Team Blue get wrecked in November for what they’ve done the last 4 years. Truly. Maybe living in a crazy lefty part of the country distorts my view. But when I look at Team Red’s inaction in key states the last 4 years, I don’t see cause for optimism.
In the correct complexes, this is true.
AZ does not poll pro-Biden. Depending on the poll, Trump is leading by 2 – 6%. There has been one poll six weeks ago that showed Biden up by 2%, and it was an outlier even then. Saying AZ poll pro-Biden is just wrong.
Will the Maricopa fraud machine step up? Could well be. But at the moment, that’s what it would take.
I suspect NH will go not-Trump, whoever that ends up being.
Trump is toxic to many middle-of-the-road NH voters. I suspect many aspects of MAGA they support, but the problem is Trump.
I am not so sure NC will be blue. NC hasn’t voted for a D pres since 2008. Certainly, times and demos have changed, and Cooper (D) the Covid gov won re-election (NC has only had one R gov in the past 30 years). Other statewide Rs were successful.
Taking a quick glance looks like polls have Trump ahead. I can’t really gauge anything here because I live in one of the bluest cities in NC and I am surrounded by true believers
The Chevron tears are yummy yummy. BUT MUH ADMINISTRATIVE STATE!!!
https://gun.deals/product/hawk-tuah-limited-edition-ar15-anodized-80-lower-receiver-fire-safe-engraving-optional-engra
No.
This is the AR-15 equivalent of getting a face tattoo.
☹️
No. But…it is funny as hell.
I suspect Biden and Dr. Jill will be dragged kicking and screaming to the exit within two weeks. And the spin will be that Joe so loves the American people that he is sacrificing himself in order to beat the other guy who is only in it for himself and those who will destroy democracy.
A complication: Does he resign (no way the Dems 25th him) or does he just stand down for the election? The former gets Kamala into the Big Chair and she runs as an incumbent, which would probably help in the election.
Sure Joe, what happens when they all turn on you?
https://www.wsj.com/politics/elections/pressure-on-biden-builds-as-democrats-fear-big-november-losses-a87849f3?st=aaa3bk3druj1m2k&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
He’s toast
https://hotair.com/ed-morrissey/2024/07/03/breaking-nyt-reports-biden-mulling-withdrawal-if-n3791335
So true… I don’t care one way or the other. It will be interesting to see if Harris can get any support. She has incredible poor favorability and likeability polling. Plus as we’ve discussed she’s an idiot.
–> according to people with knowledge of his remarks. <–
People dont trust the press and haven't for some time. I thought after the Thomas hearings, the fake Sandra Fluke 'hearings' and the Kavanaugh hearings people would get it, but no.
Then there was this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quU_Tbv96Wk
Now the brazenness of their lies about Creepy Joe really tanked their credibility. The press still says things like this because they dont give a fuck what you think.
They just need to rein in the bed wetters.
😂
::imagines Georgie Porgie asking a question and Biden’s “response” being a mashup of old clips glommed into the video equivalent of a cut-and-paste ransom note::
So the buzz of the moment is that the two leading contender/wannabes for the Dem nom are Kamala and Big Mike.
If true, this will be just an epic bloodletting.
Just wait until Trump names Tulsi as his VP pick. You ain’t seen nothing yet.
Trump names Tulsi as his VP pick.
I could live with that. She’s easy on the eyes.
https://www.fec.gov/resources/cms-content/documents/federalelections2020.pdf
ARINZONA
Biden, Joseph R. D 1,672,143 49.36%
Trump, Donald J. R 1,661,686 49.06%
GEORGIA
Biden, Joseph R. D 2,473,633 49.47%
Trump, Donald J. R 2,461,854 49.24%
MICHIGAN
Biden, Joseph R. D 2,804,040 50.62%
Trump, Donald J. R 2,649,852 47.84%
PENNSYLVANIA
Biden, Joseph R. D 3,458,229 49.85%
Trump, Donald J. R 3,377,674 48.69%
WISCONSIN
Biden, Joseph R. D 1,630,866 49.45%
Trump, Donald J. R 1,610,184 48.82%
Manufacturing 10 or 20 thousand fake votes when you have cities with populations over a million is a pretty trivial task (as witnessed in 2020).
Manufacturing a couple hundred thousand fake votes will stand out even when it is Atlanta or Detroit or Philadelphia or Phoenix.
The Ds need the race to be close to steal it. It will take more than delayed voting in half a dozen states to steal the election of Biden can’t stay close to Trump in the swing states.
Actually, they probably did manufacture a few hundred thousand votes to get to those 10 thousand vote victories.
Never mind.
“I am running. I’m the nominee of the Democratic Party. No one’s pushing me out. I’m not leaving.”
“We’re behind you 1000%, Joe!”
Well well.
https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/wef-kingpin-klaus-schwab-accused-sexual-harassment
Gott im Himmel du Schweinhund, ze rules are for ze little people.
He’s got a velcro fly on that space man suit he wears.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F89McWFENTs