Boy, the way that one band played
Songs that got me laid
Senators like me, we had it made
Those were the days
Need a huge welfare state
No one has to pull his weight
Gee, my Trans Am ran great
Those were the days
And you knew where you were then
Girls were my daughters, and I showered with them
Mister, we could use a man like Ted Kennedy again
The President seemed to be coherent
Fifty thousand dollars paid the rent
Freaky girls had that lovely scent
Those were the days
Take a little Sunday spin
Wow, I wonder if she has a twin
Have yourself a dandy day
Watch the Fentanyl addicts play
Hair was long and skirts were short
That one girl really sold a song
I don’t know just what went wrong
Those were the days
Karine careened into the Oval Office, drunk again, pantyhose torn, smelling of vomit and fear.
“Animals!” she gasped, burped, and collapsed on the couch.
“Dealing with the press corps is what we pay you for,” Dr. Jill said. Her pants suit was the same fabric of as the curtains, adaptive camouflage. Karine jumped when she appeared.
“They expect me to answer the questions they ask!” Karine cried in her anguish.
“There’s a Negro in here,” Joe said in a loud, slurred whisper.
“She works for us, Joe,” Dr. Jill said, gently patting the flaking skin of his arm. Joe began to bruise immediately.
“I know it’s unfair, dear,” Dr. Jill said to Karine. “The press has turned on us. One bad night and they betray us.”
“One bad night,” Joe snapped. “One bad night. It sure was one bad night. Just the one though, right, Ashley?” He looked at his wife and grinned absently until his face collapsed into a vacant gape.
“I’m Jill,” she said. “Your wife?”
“Where’s Neilia?” Joe asked, afraid. “Where is she? Where is my sensuous lover?”
“I’m your wife,” Dr. Jill said.
“No!” Joe said. “I’d never marry a women as old as you!”
“Senile agitation,” Karine said without opening her eyes.
“Never say that!” Jill screeched. “Don’t even think it!”
“I should tell them all,” Karine grumbled under her breath.
“Go back out there,” Dr. Jill ordered. “Call a lid for today.”
“Too old,” Joe said.
Karine struggled up from the couch, watched Joe weeping for a moment, and walked back to the press briefing room sullenly.
*standing ovation*
Straight from the transcript. Nixon’s reel-to-reel.
Awesome.
The brilliance of the prose nearly made me forget the horror of Dr. Jill’s hand in that pic.
“There’s a Negro in here,” Joe said in a loud, slurred whisper.
Just perfection.
I see black people.
Her pants suit was the same fabric of as the curtains, adaptive camouflage. Karine jumped when she appeared.
Nice. She needs to flick her tongue like a lizard.
Like a Lizard?
Jill Lives!
OBEY, WATCH TV,NO IMAGINATION, DO NOT QUESTION AUTHORITY, CONSUME, CONFORM, SUBMIT, MARRY AND REPRODUCE, STAY ASLEEP, SURRENDER Looks at dollars “THIS IS YOUR GOD.”
Put on the Glasses!
Who could bring themselves to give all that up voluntarily?
Now, I need to see an AI video of Archie Bunker saying Fuck Joe Biden.
I’m gonna have this song stuck in my head all day.
press core???
As if there is a periphery press?
It’s the name of the AI that runs the media.
No, you’re confusing that with the Press Corpse.
SPOLIERS!
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The hardware for the Press Core is in the metal detectors. Every time someone walks through, it uses the human brain to perform computations. This is why everyone who visits the White House becomes ‘tarded
Fall of Hyperion?
Semper Lie!
I cannot spell. I am a retard.
It makes it easier to predict the future!
Dude – that you crank this stuff out, week after week, the occasional typo just makes you human. I’d feel truly inferior if you did this with perfect spelling and grammar.
Also, nice for Finnegan to catch a break here – poor thing. She didn’t ask to be born into the family, though I guess she is rebelling against her father.
“He looked at his wife and grinned absently until his face collapsed into a vacant gape.”
This is a little too real.
The way they’re turning on Biden, there will be a tell-all book. And none of us will be surprised at the revelations because we’ve already seen it.
A masterpiece as usual.
The Biden Years – The Sugarfree tell all story of what REALLY happened in the White House
Loving, Touching, Feeling Each Other: The Biden Family Saga
It’s our turn now to cry?
Yes, Sheldon, it is.
Depends on your name.
Depends on your name.
Coincidentally, also the name of the Corporate Sponsor for the TV show.
Reality is probably way worse.
I’m sure reality is more horrifying, because we are all involved. They kept him propped up and let 20-something college grads and a bunch of unaccountable insiders make decisions that affected the lives of millions of people. In the case of Ukraine, thousands died.
Zombie Al Haig is down in JFK’s fud tunnels. “I’m in charge. Here. At the White House.”
https://www.wsj.com/articles/team-bidens-cynical-gamble-8a5d2402?st=3qm8yjrvd6pmsbi&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
“The problem now is that Mr. Biden and his Democrats have convinced quite a few excited voters and political hobbyists and weekend militants that Mr. Trump is indeed the end of the world. Mr. Biden will own their behavior after Nov. 5 as much as he’ll own a Trump victory.”
The whole thing was a good read, but this part caught my attention.
Remember when they said “you’ll own nothing, and like it”?
These clowns are on that trajectory.
“His reporters covered Mr. Biden’s deterioration aggressively for years”
This is true, for values of “covered” that include “covered for” and “covered up”.
Welp, just put the mercy shot into the head of a long friendship that was probably doomed from the moment I said, “Sure, you can have a place to stay till you get on your feet.” It’s been on life support for a while, but I just finally had to pull the trigger and make it official.
Sorry to hear that. The cousin staying with us has finally started paying us rent, but she and her son are only here for a few hours a week because she’s been staying at a friend/boyfriend’s house. I think she’s been avoiding Mrs. TOK. Who knows what she’s been telling people about us.
We displaced a person who was taking temporary shelter with us, after several years. We sold the house and moved. It was a drastic solution, but it worked.
We (Mrs OBE and myself) didn’t kick the kids out of the nest, we fled the nest.
Sorry to hear that.
It really seems like letting someone into your home, ‘just until they’re back on their feet’, is gonna be the death knell for the relationship.
I’m finding that to be true. It’s the open-endedness that’s the problem. The cousin’s mom and step dad also stayed at our house for months, but that was because he was injured in a car accident and his doctors and PT were here but their house is 6 hours away. Once he was cleared they moved back to their home. The cousin’s been here for 19 months and seems LESS closer to leaving. “Bad luck” just keeps happening.
To be fair, she got on her feet and moved out relatively quickly (4 months) but she was also in ill health, so that had to get taken care of during her residence with us. Also, she was a good, clean, helpful houseguest and did pay us a little money. That happened years ago. She often says we saved her life.
But things started going south after she moved out. She got between me and my daughter. She was exposing her to things I don’t like (drinking and pot) (kid was 16-17 at the time). Daughter thinks she’s the bee’s knees and wants her approval.
Anyway, we had an unresolved falling out. She blocked me. Oh well. Drama I didn’t have to deal with. Now, one thing you have to know about me is, I don’t block anybody (or, rarely). I just ignore them while I collect evidence. So she called me one night a couple of months ago and we got it all ironed out—then she asked my feelings on Palestine and badgered me into responding, which I did in a way I knew she wouldn’t like. Okay. Still blocked. That’s fine.
So I talked with daughter and she said she hadn’t talked to Melinda much because she had played a nasty trick on her, wherein she badgered her to say the “n-word with the hard R” (Melinda’s black) until she had her sobbing saying no, then she did it—and Melinda squawked and cried about it saying HOW COULD YOU?! and hung up on her.
Well.
I waited for her to call again when she was drunk and lonely (which is always when she calls me), so I could tell her in person I was done, but she never did, so I texted her what I meant to say and blocked her.
And that’s that.
Be an asshole to me, okay, whatever, I don’t care that much because I got bigger problems and I feel sorry for you that you don’t have a wider appreciation of people’s problems.
But be an asshole to my kid? No.
Also, my husband is a fucking SAINT.
Also, my husband is a fucking SAINT.
Yes, he is.
But be an asshole to my kid? No.
THIS.
Only I get to be an asshole to my kids.
The latter day kind? 😉
““One bad night,” Joe snapped. “One bad night. It sure was one bad night. Just the one though, right, Ashley?””
Oof.
“All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day.”
The Joker,
Batman: The Killing Joke
As I heard recently, OJ Simpson had a great life if you just ignore that one bad day.
Michael Douglas has entered the chat.
Loving, Touching, Feeling Each Other: The Biden Family Saga
Ball of Snakes- one family’s unconditional, unconventional love
The Biden Family – America’s The Aristocrats!
The Hat and Hair Administration 2.0 is going to be just as amusing and nausea inducing.
So I wrote something today, and I’m going to shamelessly pimp it here.
Even if you have both eyes open, you can only see three sides of a cube.
No one man can see everything.
Whoa!
You just need a mirror.
I’m looking at 4 sides of a cube right now, and I’m not cheating and using mirrors like UCS suggests.
From the inside?
Maybe one from which you can’t get out?
GT:
I own that movie.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is shunned as crazy.
So…Cassandra.
Great as always. I did have one statement that confused me.
“Call a lid for today.”
Does this help to clarify?
Put a lid on it I have heard. “Call for a lid” gave me a Cheech and Chong flashback. Sounds like a request for a dealer order.
This was a common phrase in the 2020 election. When Biden was done for the day (very early), his staff would call a lid on the day, and the press was shut out.
Yeah, it’s PR jargon.
That picture of those two liches is grotesque, but the lyrics fit it perfectly.
Makes me want to go lay naked in the sun and suffer a third degree sun burn.
only the man with two eyes sees it all.
Is this some sort of Ludovico Technique reference? He sees all, whether he wants to or not?
Not a reference to X: The Man with X-Ray Eyes?
Does anyone remember the McKinsey study that “proved” diversity led to greater profits?
Turns out that no one has been able to replicate the research. It’s almost as if it was entirely bullshit.
Meh. Just part of the whole replication crisis in general. Make something up, cherry pick numbers to fit what you want them to tell, publish.
Then it’s the SCIENCE!
The McKinsey study apparently kept the identities of the corporations they used in their study hidden. It’s not just questionable methodology. It’s impossible to actually confirm any of it.
McKinsey is paid exorbitant amounts of money to discover what they’re supposed to. And they deliver!
The Rand Corporation has done this shit for DOD for years.
But coincidentally McKinsey has a diversity practice advising clients on DEI. So it was indeed profitable for someone.
Speaking of permanent “temporary” lodgers- didn’t Joe say he only wanted one term, just to rid the place of Trump’s stench and help the country get back on its feet so a new generation of Democrats could lead the nation into a gloriously green and diverse future?
He did. That got memory holed the day he was sworn in.
Meh…*reportedly*
Not just “reportedly” but “signaled”. Did he use sign language? Flags? Blinked in Morse Code?
CONTINUITY ANNOUNCER: This episode of Joemala was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
The laugh track contains only groans.
Shoulda saved the links. One showed Hunter slouching on a sofa wearing his laptop. The other was the Frau Doctor in a dress the fabric of which damn near matched the sofa. Hope no one else had to sit on that sofa.
Ludovico Technique
I sent a copy of this to Tomb Raider. I’m sure she’ll find it hilarious.
/changes entry code on door locks
Shall we shag now, or shag later?
I predict later.
The McKinsey study apparently kept the identities of the corporations they used in their study hidden.
Subjects were granted anonymity in exchange for sensitive proprietary information. Take our word for it, it’s the God’s Honest Truth.
“No!” Joe said. “I’d never marry a women as old as you!”
He’s going to have a hard time trading her in on a newer model. She’ll have him declared incompetent before the oatmeal on his chin hardens.
Sweet holy fuckballs.
Annual chemical hygiene review. Now everything with silica in it is a carcinogen.
Men’s pee will never smell the same.
Plaintiff bar has been salivating to turn silicosis into the next asbestosis.
So what you’re saying is, we need to require class action cases to be done pro bono?
Does the size of the Si02 particle have any bearing on it or is it a blanket statement? Also I thought the cancer concern was due to very small needle like fibers.
“This just in….Are your windows giving you cancer, if you have been paying attention, the answer will not surprise you!!! “
Everybody knew FDR was in that wheelchair, so why make a big deal out of it?
Well, FDR should have been ousted long before he keeled over.
So not the best comparison.
Top Secret. It was actually a transformer that he used to single-handedly fight the Japs and the Huns.
https://deadline.com/2024/07/bbc-commentator-john-hunt-wife-crossbow-attack-1236005820/
Police told reporters during a news conference earlier today that the three women were allegedly killed in a crossbow attack by a suspect who has been named as Kyle Clifford, the ex-boyfriend of one of those killed. The three women are Hunt’s wife Carol Hunt and two of their daughters. The couple have a third daughter.
Clearly we need common sense crossbow regulations.
Snark aside, several youtubers have talked about the push for crossbow regulation in England. This is not going to help their situation in anyway.
Wife and two daughters of undescribed age.
I was wondering how he reloaded or how he managed the multiple killings.
That’s awful.
I can only assume since the killer was in his 20s and the ex-boyfriend of one of the victims, the daughters were too.
Unless the wife has an ex-boyfriend in his 20s,
Nobody need an assault crossbow?
With the cocking device that goes up?
Shwing!
It’s clear that at this point the only course of action open to us is to round up a couple of armed rednecks, two or three should suffice, go over there, conquer the UK and force them to be free.
Make ’em pay a tea tax and then they can figure it out on their own.
Be Free, or drink coffee like a real man.
I’m not sure. The Muslims might actually fight back to keep their new territories.
MIght? I think it’s a lock.
It’s England. They’d be bringing a knife to a gun fight.
Knives are already regulated.
Who needs a knife when there are Narwahl tusks?
I don’t recall the narwhal tusk thing, but the way the guy talks about it, you would think he had serious training. His situational awareness and reactions were top shelf.
George Clooney: I Love Joe Biden. But We Need a New Nominee.
George Clooney, man of the people…
🙄
No but he influences the Hollywood money. This suggests nobody there plans on giving them any more cash.
The google news headline this morning was about the first democratic senator saying that Biden needs to go. In the article, the senator lists the election loses they will incur because of Biden. But there wasn’t a single comment about having a dementia patient in charge of the nuclear football.
This is why I think any replacement is going to have a hard time getting elected. The whole party is saying “Biden did such a great job, best presidency ever! Just time for him to step down.” Any replacement needs to run against Biden’s record, not Trump’s.
“In the article, the senator lists the election loses they will incur because of Biden.”
Red Wave 2022, the Reboot.
I second the *standing ovation.* I give ovation as I stand.
Well-done, sir. Senile agitation got me the most. Likely intentional, I enjoyed first-reading it as “penile agitation.” Much snicker, no sarc.
Direct from an old Thorazine ad.
“Tornado watch”. Whee!
I hope it blows out the nasty air that’s been fugging up this place for the last week.
We had it here, too. A couple thunderclaps, some clouds, and… that was it.
And it’s still muggy as shit outside.
“No!” Joe said. “I’d never marry a women as old as you!”
Not far fetched. I watched a friend with dementia say something very similar.
My mother said it to me. “You can’t be my son, you’re some old man.”
We Democrats have a very exciting bench.
A talent pool a mile wide and an inch (if that) deep.
But it’s full of POCs, chicks, and QWERTYs! What more could you ask for?
Boy, that’s exciting!
I didn’t think you were allowed to s–
Oh, you said bench.
Sigh… although by current standards it is light.
Curb Weight (C/D est): 3550–3850 lb
https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/a61538247/2025-porsche-911-carrera-gts-drive/
I never thought I would say this, but that is one boring looking 911.
And Euro regs killed the ICEbCayman and Boxster.
I expect it will only be another year or so here in the U.S.
Looks more like a Boxster. Meh.
Naturally.
And a screen in a 911 looks retarded.
I’m sure somebody aftermarket will be able to tick that ECU option for some ridiculous price.
The front of that Porsche reminds me of the Mercedes GT3 car.
Summon all the thrust, and the perception of boost building is instantaneous. The motor in the transmission contributes wait-free grunt while the motor in the turbocharger builds manifold pressure.
More of the obsessive perfectly-flat torque curve obsession. They want to mimic the performnce of an electric, and I don’t know why. I want it to stumble a bit on the bottom and then get up on the pipe in a big rush.
Sounds . . . unnecessarily complex and prone to malfunction, to me.
If turbo lag bothers you that much, get a supercharger. Or, even, both (although now we’re back at “unnecessarily complex”).
Looks more like a Boxster. Meh.
356 kit car.