Stoic Friday LXXIII

by | Jul 26, 2024 | Advice, LifeSkills, Musings | 70 comments

Last Week

Meditations

How to Be a Stoic

How to Think Like a Roman Emperor

Seneca’s Letters from a Stoic

If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)

This week’s book:

Discourses and Selected Writings

Disclaimer: I’m not your Supervisor. These are my opinions after reading through these books a few times.

Epictetus was born a slave around 50 ad. His owner was Epaphroditus, a rich freedman who was once a slave of Nero. Though he was a slave Epictetus was sent to study philosophy under Musonius Rufus.

Epictetus was lame and there are some stories it was caused by his master and others that it was caused by disease.

He was a freedman when all philosophers were banished from Rome in 89 by the Emperor Domitian. He then started his school in Greece, and had many students. He did not leave any writings from his lessons, but one of his students, Flavius Arrian, took notes and wrote the Discourses.

Epictetus did not marry, had no children, and lived to be around 80-85. In retirement, he adopted a child that would have been abandoned and raised him with a woman.

He died sometime around AD 135.

He might be my favorite Stoic teacher. I love his bare bones and very straight forward approach.

Following is a paragraph-by-paragraph discussion of one of his lessons. Epictetus’s text appears in bold, my replies are in normal text.

To those who leave school[1] because of illness

I am ill here, says one of the students, and want to go back home.—What, were you free from illness at home? Do you not raise the question whether you are doing here any of the things that have a bearing upon your moral purpose, so that it shall be improved? For if you are not accomplishing anything, it was no use for you to have come in the first place. Go back and tend to your affairs at home. For if your governing principle cannot be brought into conformity with nature, no doubt your paltry piece of land can be made to conform with it.[2][† 1]

It seems to me that Epictetus thinks this student is fishing for an excuse to leave the school. Instead of pretending and continuing to waste time, it’s better to be honest and admit when something isn’t working out.

You will increase the amount of your small change; you will care for your father in his old age, you will walk up and down in the market, you will hold office; a poor wretch yourself, you will do wretchedly whatever comes next. But if you understand yourself, namely, that you are putting away certain bad judgements and taking on others in their place, and that you have transferred your status from what lies outside the province of the moral purpose to what lies inside the same, and that if ever you say “Alas!” you are speaking, not for your father’s sake, or your brother’s sake, but “for my own sake,” then why take account of illness any longer?

If the student leaves and improves in external matters and not his self control than what has really been gained? If he was truly understanding the core of Stoicism then he would understand that self improvement is better for peace of mind than going through life worried about external matters.

5Do you not know that disease and death needs must overtake us, no matter what we are doing? They overtake the farmer at his work in the fields, the sailor on the sea. What do you wish to be doing when it overtakes you? For no matter what you do you will have to be overtaken by death. If you have anything better to be doing when you are so overtaken, get to work on that.

We all are going to die, no matter how we spend our time. A worrier will die just as a person with true tranquility will. Doing what needs done without adding to the effort by being concerned about external factors is much easier than stressing about things I have no influence on.

As for me, I would fain that death overtook me occupied with nothing but my own moral purpose, trying to make it tranquil, unhampered, unconstrained, free. This is what I wish to be engaged in when death finds me, so that I may be able to say to God, “Have I in any respect transgressed Thy commands? Have I in any respect misused the resources which Thou gave me, or used my senses to no purpose, or my preconceptions? Have I ever found any fault with Thee? Have I blamed Thy governance at all? I fell sick, when it was Thy will; so did other men, but I willingly. I became poor, it being Thy will, but with joy, I have held no office, because Thou didst not will it, and I never set my heart upon office. Hast Thou ever seen me for that reason greatly dejected? Have I not ever come before Thee with a radiant countenance, ready for any injunctions or orders Thou might give? 10And now it is Thy will that I leave this festival; I go, I am full of gratitude to Thee that Thou hast deemed me worthy to take part in this festival with Thee, and to see Thy works, and to understand Thy governance.” Be this my thought, this my writing, this my reading, when death comes upon me.

I hope death finds me in good spirits and as healthy as my body lets me be. I think I will be grateful for the time I did have when I was healthy and strong and not hold a grudge over the fact I am weaker and slower now. I will also appreciate the fact I have had a great marriage that has lasted the majority of my life. To see it any other way would be unnecessarily greedy.

But my mother will not hold my head in her arms when I am ill.—Very well, go back to your mother; you are just the sort of person that deserves to have his head held in somebody’s arms when he is ill!—But at home I used to have a nice bed to lie on.—Go back to your bed; without doubt you deserve to lie on such a fine bed even when you are well! Pray, then, do not lose by staying here what you can do there.

The student is more focused on external comforts than working on self improvement. In the Marines, I learned to appreciate being uncomfortable and separated from my wife and kids. Those experiences made the comforts of home and joys of family life that much sweeter.

But what does Socrates say? “As one man rejoices,” remarks he, “in improving his own farm, and another his own horse, so I rejoice day by day in following the course of my own improvement.”[3]

I try to rejoice in my own self improvement and still strive to do better. I still catch myself getting mad for no reason when it helps nothing. Last night we had a thunderstorm and our Austrailian Shepard, Daisy, kept coming upstairs after busting through the stair gate because she was scared. It took real effort not to yell at her when I went down to rebuild the barrier 5 minutes after I fell asleep. I was still angrier than I should have been, but I was able to pet her as I fixed it, but on the inside I was seething. Because of this it took me longer to fall asleep then it should have. With more self control, I could have slept quickly.

15In what respect; in little philosophic phrases?—Man, hold your tongue.—In little philosophic theories, then?—What are you doing?—Well, I don’t see anything else that the philosophers spend their time on.—Is it nothing in your eyes never to bring accusation against anyone, be it God or man? Never to blame anyone? Always to wear the same expression on one’s face, whether one is coming out or going in?[4]

While it is easy to find philosophic phrases, there is much more to practicing Stoicism than that. Mastery of myself counts for a lot more than the sayings I have memorized.

These are the things which Socrates knew, and yet he never said that he either knew or taught anything. But if someone called for little philosophic phrases or theories, he used to take him over to Protagoras or Hippias. It was just as though someone had come to him for fresh vegetables, and he would have taken him over to the market gardener. Who, then, among you makes this purpose of Socrates the purpose of his own life? Why, if you did, you would have been glad even to be ill, and to go hungry, and to die. If any one of you was ever in love with a pretty wench, he knows that what I say is true.

Being in love with a pretty woman makes you do things that make you uncomfortable. Truly following Stoicism asks the same kind of effort. It isn’t easy, but it can be worth a lot. if there is no effort put forth, there can be no results.

About The Author

ron73440

ron73440

What I told my wife when she said my steel Baby Eagle .45 was heavy, "Heavy is good, heavy is reliable, if it doesn't work you could always hit him with it."-Boris the Blade MOLON LABE

70 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    I noticed some undue panic in the links over a minor delay.

    Please restrain yourselves, and remain calm.

  2. Tonio

    Stoic is late not because of Ron, but because of the Glibs editorial staff. Apologies.

    • Ownbestenemy

      You are forgiven

      • UnCivilServant

        Who am I going to sell this stock of torches and pitchforks to?

      • Ownbestenemy

        I hear some folks in a UHaul are looking for supplies

      • UnCivilServant

        They didn’t pass the sniff test.

  3. UnCivilServant

    I’m convinced that the “subverting the morals of the youth of athens” wasn’t the reason Socrates was killed. His method is just fucking annoying when you get to a point of “It’s an atomic answer to a question which I don’t know and you do. Tell me already.” Plus each question asked of a person is tiring, so such a conversation is nothing but exhaustion.

    • Drake

      He lived in a pure democracy. Once he pissed off 51% of the eligible voters, they could sentence him to death.

      Something to remember when dementia Joe tells us “democracy is at stake.”

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        For him that’s probably a feature not a bug.

      • Fourscore

        Do we all have a stake in the democracy? If so, I want mine back, I’m selfish that way.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Please restrain yourselves, and remain calm.

    Can’t miss Wapner.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Plus each question asked of a person is tiring, so such a conversation is nothing but exhaustion.

    “Why dost thou ask, Two-Dogs-Fucking?”

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Something to remember when dementia Joe tells us “democracy is at stake.”

    Democracy? Not even close. What we have currently is the tyranny of the lunatic fringe.

    • mindyourbusiness

      And the tail is wagging the dog as hard as it can.

  7. Gender Traitor

    I am ill here, says one of the students, and want to go back home.

    When I had delusions of becoming a teacher and was working as a sub, I learned quickly to respond to any claims of illness with “Then you may go stand by the wastebasket until you either throw up or feel better.”

    • Mojeaux the Lazy Yenta

      I still remember my mother not letting me stay home when I was sick. I was so lethargic and I’m sure I had a fever. I puked all over the bus and everybody just as we turned into the parking lot. I was collected and taken home ASAP.

    • R.J.

      I threw up in the trashcan once while at school. It was epic. I too, was then allowed to go home.

    • slumbrew

      I still distinctly remember my 9th grade earth science teacher would always respond to claims of “I feel like I’m going to throw up!” with “chunky or smooth?”

  8. Tundra

    For if your governing principle cannot be brought into conformity with nature, no doubt your paltry piece of land can be made to conform with it.

    Stoic bitch-slap.

    Mastery of myself counts for a lot more than the sayings I have memorized.

    Amen.

    Thanks, Ron!

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Snoop Dogg is carrying the olympic torch. What happened to the rodeo clown?

    • Beau Knott

      Perfect Jeopardy answer/question

  10. cavalier973

    OT: a pretty good discussion of the recent coup against Biden.

    Kamala does not have her own people; she does not have her own organization to support her. She is completely dependent on “the regime” to keep her “power” and is, therefore, completely controllable.

    https://youtu.be/RUZpGVbGTVI?si=fLS6S32tB4yItb4j

    • Gustave Lytton

      Not surpassing? The fluffer is now the lead.

  11. Gustave Lytton

    Those experiences made the comforts of home and joys of family life that much sweeter.

    The greatest gift of all is to be able to rule atop the Porcelain Throne.

    • Sean

      You’re Al Bundy?

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Whoop dee fucking doo

    The Detroit automaker said Thursday the 2025 Chevy Corvette ZR1 will be powered by a twin-turbocharged, 5.5-liter, V8 engine capable of more than 1,000 horsepower — a first for Corvette — and 828 foot-pounds of torque, placing it among the ranks of supercars that can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.

    ——-

    GM previously confirmed an all-electric Corvette is coming, but it has not given a timeframe. A Corvette SUV also has been under consideration for several years. Franz declined to comment on either vehicle.

    An electric Corvette SUV; that’s what we need.

    • Tundra

      Franz declined to comment on either vehicle.

      Good. Never talk about that shit ever again.

    • Sean

      An electric Corvette SUV

      Eeew!

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        That combination of words should be a hate crime.

      • R.J.

        That will be as successful as the electric Mustang SUV. Which wasn’t.

    • Suthenboy

      WTF is a corvette SUV? A meatless hamburger? Non-dairy milk?

      • Suthenboy

        “All of the cool kids are doing it.”

        I was already avoiding it…you don’t have to convince me.

      • Drake

        Tundra – I linked the same thing below. Saw one on the road and couldn’t understand why anyone would want it.

      • Tundra

        @Drake

        I don’t know. If I were a rich dude why drive a BMW or Porsche or Audi? Never mind that they all look the same.

        I’ll bet it’s pretty fun, too.

      • Drake

        I can’t imagine spending that much money on a Lambo that looks like a Mazda.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Not sure how the Kenny Rodgers-look alikes that are the Corvette customer base are going to react to this. They may just walk their New Balances elsewhere.

      • slumbrew

        *slides Roavs out of sight*

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I have owned many a pair of New Balance workout/PT shoes for the last 25+ years, they make the best running shoes for non-svelt gentlemen and are normally available in wide sizes for my Fred Flinstone feet.

        I have yet to receive my complimentary C8.

      • slumbrew

        Yeah, my Barney Rubble feet need those wides. Dunno why NB seems to be the only sneaker company that will consistently make wide sizes.

        It’s like the #1 reason I hear people say for buying NB.

      • kinnath

        New balance is the only shoe I can wear.

        And not all NB shoes fit. They have several different shoe lasts (shoe patterns). Shoe Last #2 is the one that actually fits my feet. And only two or three of their models use SL2.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        @Tundra, those look pretty nice, I may check them out.

    • Not Adahn

      If it was good enough for the Mustang, it’s good enough for the Vette!

  13. Sean

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/federal-judge-declares-pennsylvania-s-ban-on-carrying-firearms-in-vehicles-without-license-unconstitutional/ar-BB1qDG9C

    District Judge Christopher C. Conner of the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Pennsylvania has issued a ruling granting summary judgment to the Second Amendment Foundation (SAF) and its partners, declaring the state’s law banning the carry of firearms in a vehicle without a license unconstitutional.

    He also ruled that a ban on firearms possession without a license during a state of emergency is facially unconstitutional and has enjoined Pennsylvania State Police Commissioner Col. Christopher Paris from enforcing these provisions.

    • Suthenboy

      They will never quit until we are helpless on our knees and they can cull us at will. Make no mistake about it, that is what they want.

    • The Last American Hero

      I’m sure the suburban moms that apparently dragged Joe Biden over the finish line are fine with this court ruling.

  14. Fourscore

    “He also ruled that a ban on firearms possession without a license during a state of emergency”

    Every morning I wake up in a state of emergency, don’t have time to think carrying a firearm.

    • R.J.

      How about duct tape and soldering irons? That usually what I need in an emergency.

      • R.J.

        I agree with Jeremy Clarkson. That name sounds like a dirty body part.
        “Got an itchy Urus? Try Gold Bond Medicated Powder.”

    • Tundra

      Remember when that launched? What a cool vehicle!

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Kinda gross but also kinda on brand.

  15. kinnath

    Exercise in stoicism . . . .

    Wednesday morning my wife was experiencing shortness of breath and dizziness with a sharp backpain. She’s had acid reflux attacks in the past that sent her to ER more than a decade ago. It can mimic heart attack in women. So, off we go to urgent care.

    We’re in the room with the RN when things start getting worse. RN looks a wee bit panicked and decides the wife needs an ambulance ride to ER.

    45 minutes later we are in the ER with wife hooked into the monitor. ER Doc comes in the room looking quite tense. He looks up at the monitor and visibly relaxes. “You’re in atrial fibrillation”.

    A-fib is not a lethal problem. Some people have it and don’t know it. Some people experience some unpleasantness. “You are clearly having an unpleasant experience.”

    So a bunch of quick blood tests. Everything looks normal expect Troponin levels are just a tad high. That is the marker that indicates heart damage. So, now we have to call the cardiologist.

    48 hours later. Wife is discharged from hospital. All tests (many expensive tests) are normal.

    New beta blockers for the A-Fib and a blood thinner to prevent stroke (A-Fib isn’t dangerous per se, but increases stroke risk by a factor of 5).

    She blew through her out of pocket maximum pretty quickly there. Insurance will cover most of this.

    But is a lot of time waiting to gather enough negative tests results to decide she is actually OK and has no restrictions.

    • Tundra

      Damn, kinnath. Scary stuff there. Thank God mama is all right but I’ll bet that was a real test for you.

      Please pass along my best wishes.

      • kinnath

        Thanks. It was scary for 90 minutes until the doc says “oh A-Fib”. I knew enough about it to stop being scared.

        But once the cardiologist is called, you are stuck until he says it’s ok to go. Every test was “that looks good, but we are also going to test . . . . ”

        Basic problem with testing:

        1) we think you have a problem

        2) test confirms you have a problem

        3) now we treat your problem

        vs

        1) we think you have a problem

        2) 1st does not show a problem but that’s not conclusive

        3) 2nd does not show a problem but that’s not conclusive

        .
        .
        .
        n) None of the tests show a problem, it’s probably ok to send you home now.

      • kinnath

        Part of it is that you have AFib, we’re putting you on a heparin drip (blood thinner) to make sure you don’t stroke out and die in the next day or so.

        So, then you get multiple blood tests to verify the heparin levels before they can move you to maintenance pills.

        And as long as we have you here . . . . . .

      • Fourscore

        Your job, Kinnath, is to get Mrs K to HH and let her captivate the other ladies with her skills, while you are mesmerizing the boys with renewable cups of mead.

        Hope all is going well.

        I’ve been on that diet for nearly 30 years, recently the doc pulled the blood thinners away, now just the one tiny pill a day for the ticker.

      • kinnath

        Thanks Fourscore. We made our hotel reservations last winter.

        Her father had AFib. He was a cranky SOB that hated taking meds. He had two strokes and two heart attacks before an extended period of unwellness ending when he past at age 72.

        So, the wife is very familiar with the issue. She will not follow in her father’s footsteps.

    • R.J.

      Good Lord. Glad she is back home and has a treatment plan.

      • Sean

        +1

        Scary stuff.

    • slumbrew

      Man, that had to be scary. Glad to hear it’s well under control

    • Sensei

      I’ve been there with my wife kinnath. We did the first one with reflux and the trip to the ER. Good news for us is that only involves one hospital visit here without the ambulance ride.

      My wife is an RN so she had a pretty good idea what all was going to happen. We also managed to eat up our medical deductible last year when that happens.

      I can 100% confirm the experience sucks and would not recommend it. I’m glad she’s feeling better and she should be OK.

      We refer to this in the family as the time wife pulled the Johnny Rose from Schitt’s Creek. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeWGGpZS71E

      • kinnath

        Once you get to the “oh, you’re not going to die on us”, things slow way down. There are other people that need more attention than you do.

        Been there, done that. We knew what to expect.

    • Evan from Evansville

      I’m sorry for her pain, and especially the terror that ran through her. Naturally, that floods into you. (I’m always the deluge.)

      I may have reacted too soon, after reading that bit. So a bunch of money spent to find out she’s OK? That…would upset me. (I have an idea about how I can work that into a Tight-Five, a writing & performing goal of mine. I legit just wrote it out. Jokes need to be inserted/honed.) Well, it is best to be safe. We spend a lot of money on it for a reason, and much is for nothing, just to check and check and OK you’re good.

      Dad had an atrial issue a year or so ago. He had to have Atrial fibrillation (AFib) surgery himself. It obviously wasn’t pleasant, but he recovered very fast. He’s perfectly fine now, healthy and his past arrhythmia issues have gone, or at least they haven’t come up in Family Med Conversations. Onward, ticker!

  16. Evan from Evansville

    Hrm. Stoic win(?) for me today. Unlike me, I asked for help here with ‘modern’ resumes/cover letters. Especially as of yesterday, when my efforts were rewarded for enrolling in the phlebotomy course. I officially have a certification that Indiana recognizes for work. My results for the nationally-recognized one will come in two weeks.
    Again, sincere thanks to R.J., who responded to help with shocking speed. Means much. I’m an exceptionally deep introvert. I feel my whole life around people is a variety of characters, and very few get close to Real Evan. (I’m shockingly good at acting and being genuinely social and pleasant to be around. I do enjoy it, but it does become work, and Recharge Time is swiftly needed. If YKWIM,YKWIM.)

    Dear Introverts: Frequently sucks, but social primates do best with solid shakes of being social.

    • Fourscore

      Come to Honey Harvest, watch a cache of Intros gathered and waiting for someone to open a conversation.

      • Evan from Evansville

        I can’t travel now as I’m on the prowl for local work. It being local is a necessity for my Life Goals. Once I get stabilized with work, my own place… ev is more than game to flock to honey fest. I would fucking love every bit of it.

        I think y’all’d like me, too. That’d be curious.