They have tried to take the life of my Father, Barron thought as he tried to fall asleep in his enormous bed. They have tried to take the life of my Father.
An apparition in diaphanous white floated into his bedroom and lay an ice-cold hand on his fever’d brow.
“Vu musk sleek, my, son, my brave boi,” Melaina whispered. “Vu need vur stringth.”
“But, Father…” Barron said.
“Ur Father, he is longk, and stronk, and down tu get de frictions on,” she murmured.
“I know that, but it doesn’t protect him from a bullet!”
“His McDonald’s vill nerver let himk die,” she whispered.
“I will destroy them all, Mother,” Barron cried. “Everyone of them! All of Father’s enemies!”
Meliana clucked and tutted and kissed his forehead. She left as silently as she appeared, off the haunt the halls and defensible positions of the Milwaukee bunker. She rarely slept before dawn, and then only few hours at that.
A few more hours staring into the windowless dark of his fortified bedroom and Barron cut his eyes to the door to see his Father step in and move to stand by his bed.
“He is growing, Donald. He will make a fine warrior someday,” someone said, his Father grunting in agreement.
“He is filled with terrible purpose,” another voice said.
“Stop quoting Dune,” said the first.
“He’s awake and listening to us.”
“Seriously, fucking stop, dude.”
“Are you awake, son?” his Father asked over the whispers around him.
“Yes, Father.”
Donald sat on the side of Barron’s bed, clicked on the dim nightstand lamp.
“I wanted to see how you were after the assassination attempt on my life in front of the beautiful people of the Real America in rural Pennsylvania,” Donald said.
“I am fine, Father,” Barron said, a steel edge to his voice.
“Good, good, this fills me with happiness,” Donald said.
“Can I see it, Father?” Barron asked.
Donald peeled the bandage off his ear as Barron sat up in bed. The crusty divot in Donald’s ear was an angry red, shiny with antibiotic gel.
“You can touch it if you want,” Donald said in a furious high-pitched voice. Barron grazed it barely and Donald flinched.
“Did I hurt you, Father?”
“It is a good hurt. Your outrage ran through me like electricity. Beautiful electricity. Electricity powered by coal. I support coal mining.”
“It’s so real to me now,” Barron said. “I shall avenge you a thousandfold,” he whispered.
“I know. If I had a thousand sons like you I could destroy my enemies, every one.”
Barron, emboldened, blurted out, “Appoint me to the Secret Service, Father! I want to protect you with these hands!” He held them out to his father. “No one would be allowed to hurt you again! No one!”
“No,” Donald said flatly, shaking his head as if attacked by a swarm of gnats. “No! I will not, I will not!” He took off his hat and threw it to the floor. Barron knew to be quiet during these moments, when Father seemed to fight against himself.
“You will go to college, son,” Donald said. “You will bang many hot bitches, pay for many abortions, and drink yourself numb to the misery of this fallen world. You will return to me when you have tasted life and not before.”
“But if you are killed while I am away…” Barron said in anguish.
Donald stood and picked up his hat. At the door frame, he turned and told his tall son, his foolhardy son, his brave son, “Then you burn the whole world down.”
“Ur Father, he is longk, and stronk, and down tu get de frictions on,” she murmured.
Why does this sound like a euphemism?
It sounds like a Slavic sir-mix-a-lot.
Babushka got back
Natasha from Rocky & Bullwinkle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4txmBNCAXg8
@Gustave *clap*
“You will go to college, son,” Donald said. “You will bang many hot bitches, pay for many abortions, and drink yourself numb to the misery of this fallen world. You will return to me when you have tasted life and not before.”
Hopefully he avoids the fate of his brother: Banging Gavin Newsom’s sloppy seconds.
“Then you burn the whole world down.”
Barron kind of looks like he could.
…and would.
In fact, y’know, Barron kinda looks like Trevor Hazelbog if you have a few tequila shots and squint…
https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/the-weekly-roll/ch-28-another-glimpse-into-trevors-backstory/viewer?title_no=358889&episode_no=30
Long running blockbuster.
?
Isn’t she Romanian?
They can’t spell correctly anyway
Slovenian
Melaina
I sense a theme.
you need to get that spot looked at
Baron should go to Argentina and study economics.
And if he finds a study buddy…
https://wander-argentina.com/argentina-sex-hotels-telos/
Three Wednesdays this week! Bless you SF.
He took off his hat and threw it to the floor.
Whoa!
“Barron knew to be quiet during these moments, when Father seemed to fight against himself.”
I guess that settles the question about whether others can hear the Hat and the Hair.
I dunno. Barron seemed to hear them when Father came into his room.
“Then you burn the whole world down.”
But first he will need to fight Jr and Erich at the Battle Box. Winner to take on Kushner for ultimate control of The Trump Organization.
– “Ur Father, he is longk, and stronk, and down tu get de frictions on,” she murmured.
That’s good stuff right there.
Yep, that’s the best line.
*Seeing some video from the convention? A rally? Something…..
Speakers telling just-so outrage stories dripping with emotional appeal, crowds wearing MAGA hats all teared up. Trump is their lord and savior.
Ok folks…take a breath, get a grip and lose the creepy churchy feel. This is about policy, not a person.
Nope, these people are exactly what ALL politically-oriented people are all about. The only shame in it is there isn’t more of us to laugh at them.
Not a single iota different than the media losers getting lubed up because the Obama household employs someone who has a steam iron…
A Steam iron? I musta missed that one. There has been so much insanity for the last decade I cant keep up I suppose.
Echos of Donnie Two Scoops?
No, it was a reference to his, ‘…perfectly creased trouser cuff.’
A long time ago, some moron driving too fast on black ice missed T-boning me by inches. I was in a pretty good mood after that. Ol’ Donald must feel like he’s sitting on top of the world.
That’s what I’ve been saying. All this pearl clutching people are doing, and that little twat who shot at him just gave Donald Trump the greatest gift anyone could have.
It sucks that some guy died at the rally. But we are talking about the most powerful political position in the world being up for grabs.
Yep. If he hadn’t turned his head to look at the illegal immigration chart, he’d be dead.
So Trump owes his life to illegal immigrants?
Yikes!
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2024/07/chilling-re-enactment-reveals-hairs-breadth-escape-new/
OFFS, they are doing re-enactments already? The fucking brass hasn’t even cooled off yet.
This is gonna be as bad as the Kennedy assassination. Conspiracy theories will be pulled out of asses for a couple of hundred years.
Aren’t there some such nuts still shitting out nonsense about how we never knew the truth about Franz Ferdinand?
Well…weren’t/aren’t the conspiracy theories about Kennedy closer to the truth?
Given the Dune theme, maybe the hole in Donald’s ear could be like that box that delivers the pain.
This should become a thing.
https://babylonbee.com/news/oh-no-piece-of-ear-shot-off-trump-begins-to-grow-into-second-trump
Will nuTrump be the mirror universe version and grow a goatee, or will he be the transporter malfunction version that goes around molesting women?
trshmnstr:
Worse. He’s going to be left to rot in prison after rebelling and then forgotten about for decades.
“or will he be the transporter malfunction version that goes around molesting women?”
Wouldn’t he be the version that doesn’t molest women? Otherwise he’d just be the same, no?
Neph: Possibly a little mini-Trump that follows him around and acts like a court jester?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7PeVL2bPwk
Dan Bongino going off on the Secret Service. I knew he was former something, didn’t realize it was Secret Service.
https://x.com/CollinRugg/status/1813594952775135692
Yes. 8 years, for Obama IIRC.
Bush and most of Obama’s first term. It’s been interesting listening to him on this.
He takes this personally. It’s not just a job, he had to be ready to die to protect someone. To see these lapses (on purpose or not) is killing him.
Apparently there’s a water tower across the parking lot from where the shooter was. I hadn’t heard anything about that prior to today either. Was anyone up there?
If “yes” was the shooter roof visible from up there and again if “yes” why didn’t the water tower lookout spot him crawling across said roof?
Russell Brand has been live at the convention. He’s getting a lot of big names to talk to him. They all seem to like him, and the conversations have been interesting. I can’t imagine he’ll have this kind of reception in Chicago.
https://rumble.com/v57b3be-live-at-rnc-the-hidden-conspiracy-behind-trumps-shooting-with-andrew-klavan.html
He’s has MGT on a few times already, they are getting along well. People in the chat think he’s going to screw her lol.
Who is mgt?
Marjorie Taylor Greene for the dyslexic crowd.
*Salutes
*Returns to work
Whoops, sorry J.R.
MTG is better than I expected. I’ve never really heard her speak at length.
The media narrative about her (crazy, unhinged, etc) has largely always been horseshit.
All we ever see are sound bites that make her look unhinged.
SHe’s got Massie honesty when it comes to the behind the scenes bullshit.
?
She always struck me as one of the few Republicans in Congress walking the talk.
Well, politically, is there anything more unhinged than not being a proper team player?
When its not our own team not playing like a team player?
Good enough for government work
Local law enforcement agencies were tasked with securing areas around the venue that didn’t require attendees to go through magnetometers for screening, but officers told BeaverCountian.com a lack of manpower and “extremely poor planning” were to blame for endangering Trump.
While three snipers were stationed inside the building the shooter climbed, with an operations plan having them look out windows toward the Trump rally, no one was placed on the roof, local law enforcement officers said.
Were they wearing big red rubber noses and giant shoes?
I’m more and more inclined to buy the “it’s hot up there, let’s just watch from here in the AC” explaination.
“Who’s gonna find out?”
You may be right, but next time give the guy a lawn chair, an umbrella, and a cooler of beer and send him to the roof.
It’s either that or a conspiracy. The whole the roof was sloped explanation is absolute bullshit that only an idiot would even try to sell after the fact.
Cops goldbrick? Holy fucking shit, how can this be happening?
Ten bucks says there was a box of doughnuts in that building.
Why they assigned snipers to secure a potential shooting position is still a mystery to me. If they were on the roof, they wouldn’t even have the optimal weapons to defend it. A couple guys in lawn chairs with carbines or shotguns would be better equipped.
And what exactly were they supposed to be sniping from the ground floor windows, looking toward the stage, anyway.
This whole thing just gets dumber and dumber.
And several former top Secret Service agents told The Associated Press that the agency must find out how Crooks even gained access to the roof, suggesting there may have been a flaw in the event’s security plan.
Let’s not rush to judge before all the facts are in.
before all the facts are in
Which if properly timed should be the third year of the next administration.
I’m more and more inclined to buy the “it’s hot up there, let’s just watch from here in the AC” explaination.
Absolutely.
Good God man – simple human stupidity and laziness? We can never get anywhere if that’s what we have to work with!
US Today living up expectations.
Was JD Vance a Marine? A look at the military record of Trump’s VP pick
He joined the Marines in 2003 and served as a combat correspondent – or military journalist – until 2007, according to military news site Task & Purpose.
With some great stuff edited out because I’m at work.
So, more of a journalist than the writers at USA Today?
certainly qualified to be vice president
Hah! Knew who that was going to be.
Thats a bold strategy
Maybe Vance was Intermilitary Administrator
Well, shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2BIegX0WyU
You mean a damned sectary?
(with a working link)
Nowhere near the heroism of, say, a ‘community activist.’. /sarc
Good lord.
Thomas Crooks’ parents ‘called the cops on the day of the Trump rally shooting’
How bad can this story get?
There are even worse details in there…so the kid cased it – found the sightline that was obviously unguarded – and went for it. All while ‘on their radar’.
https://imgflip.com/i/6oirz1
The negligence is crazy. Didn’t forget the cop interrupting him, but running away without doing anything, and then some in the crowd shouting at them to do something…
Just about 7 ways this should have never happened if the security apparatus was any good.
But that’s just because he didn’t show up when they expected him.
It doesn’t read like they said he was going out to commit any kind of harm.
Yeah, they just reported him missing, not AWOL with intent to kill.
2 hours? Who the fuck would call the cops when their adult son is two hours late?
They suspected something.
Parents look highly suspect, but not sure what police could have done differently based on that info alone.
Two hours late on a day he was scheduled to work.
And a Saturday night. Incel revelation incoming…
Its getting worse and worse….absolute shitshow
https://x.com/CitizenFreePres/status/1813627465031671882
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8TXesafZws&ab_channel=fglmusic
None of them can hop a fence…?
So not to be any more of an asshole than usual, but there’s a line in that article that explains everything:
Case fucking closed.
Yes.
Definitely a red flag.
I do wonder what the parents knew about his state of mind.. Seems they reported him missing because he wasn’t back at the appointed time. Albeit with his dad’s gun, but still can’t imagine telling the police to find my kid because they were gone for a couple extra hours (when he’s 20). Unless you had serious doubts about his mental stability. In which case, why let him have the gun?
*facepalm*
Man, I feel disloyal saying this, but it’s something I’ve seen repeatedly in my admittedly casual study of mass killings. Parents, please quit buying guns for your unstable children in the hopes that it will give them a hobby to focus on. Get them a guitar or a fursuit or something.
+2 William & Faith Kinkel
Depressing to see pictures of the would be assassin and his family.
“His father told law enforcement he assumed his son had gone to the shooting range at the The Clairton Sportsmen’s Club to practice with his rifle and would be back by 1pm on Saturday, CNN reported.”
Sounds like this was a regular thing. That counters the “he got kicked out of shooting club because he was so bad” narrative.
There is a lot coming out that aren’t fitting initial and secondary reporting; 48 hour rule needed to be expanded in this one.
Two different shooting clubs. The one he got kicked out of was (allegedly) the high school smallbore rifle team. The Clairton Sportsmen’s Club is a different private gun club in the area.
Sorry I wasn’t clear. My point was, there was a story about him being a bad shot because he got kicked out of the high school club, and that was supposedly evidence he didn’t act alone. But he had been a regular at this other range, so it would seem he was at least somewhat proficient.
Ah, I understand. I hadn’t heard anyone speaking the ‘He must have had help!’ thing out loud. I just assumed that he’d been practicing…
“Crooks told his boss that he needed the day off from work on Saturday and gave colleagues a final chilling message: That he would be back on Sunday.”
I’ve got goosebumps.
At least it wasn’t Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday….
Absolutely great week of SF content (and all the rest too!)
Hey, Secret Service!
*chef’s kiss*
They might be getting just a tad nervous. Gretchen Whitmer has grossly violated the law with her latest.
Gretchen has the court in her pocket.
I want to laugh, but the Biden administration is trying to ram two large windfarms off all the NJ beaches before the election.
Wind turbine debris washes up on Nantucket shores closing beaches
https://www.foxweather.com/earth-space/wind-turbine-debris-nantucket-beaches-closed
Are they sure those are pieces of the Gaza pier?
This song seems appropriate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRZ-IxZ46ng
Another appropriate song:
Okaaaay…
Dont go near the water
I didn’t bother to read it, but apparently the cop who got chased off the roof is a HERO because he forced the kid to rush his shot.
A good sign they know that none of the stories coming out are good so you have to have a hero somewhere. Same with the unfortunate guy who took the bullet…not a hero, but in tragedy, we like to know there was something we can hold onto and lift up.
Depends. As I heard it, he took the bullet because he threw himself across his wife and daughter who were there once the shooting starts.
That’s heroic enough for me if so — that’s what a good man should do.
Those three shots were so quick and if he did, indeed a hero to his family and what a man should do. I just think that’s how we want the story to be told in reality.
There was the one to the ear, then 2 rapid iirc — then like 5 which seemed more desperation shots. I’ve been assuming those are the ones that hit the crowd (once OMB was down and the agents were crowding in he went to “Spray and Pray” before the counter-sniper team decided “Maybe this isn’t a local LEO, then?”
But that’s a lot of supposition on my part, I know.
I’m still sympathetic towards that guy – you climb a ladder, stick your head up and a guy points a rifle at you; what’s he supposed to do, pull his pistol and start firing one-handed while still hanging on the ladder? Zero chance of that happening before the guy pointing the rifle at you shoots you in the face.
Retreat and have the counter-snipers do their thing seems reasonable.
Would have been nice if the counter-snipers were in direct radio contact with that guy on the ladder but I’d wager the “the guy on the roof is a hostile” had to be relayed through several people, by which time he had started shooting.
The guy with the rifle is presumably preoccupied and facing Trump. He started shooting after? Well, no shit? Even seconds to get the message out was too much time to give the guy with the rifle to start firing.
I have no sympathy. He’s a fucking coward who didn’t want to do his job. Too many people here did not want to do their fucking jobs because it was inconvenient.
“Shit, I gotta get home safe to the wife and kids.”. You applied for this job, you cash the paychecks so sometimes you have to do your job.
Reporting says the shooter pointed his rifle at the cop who climbed the ladder so, assuming that’s true, he wasn’t facing Trump at the time.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows?
What are the odds the kids parents get railroaded into jail like the parents of the Michigan(?) school shooter?
As bizarre as this story is, I half expect it to turn out his dad was talking to him on the cell phone right before the hit. Possibly an accomplice.
Read through the link Tundra posted and the DailyFail randomly points out a spectator behind Trump as a ‘accomplice?’…gotta love the rags man.
Anyone sitting behind Trump should have been vetted already, and known.
Now, initial reports said one was dead and another person was in custody, so…
Incidentally, there looked like a young Vermin Supreme sitting behind Trump with a top hat on during the speech.
oo
Pennsylvania? Railroad?
You’re probably right — there’s no monopoly on such antics.
I’m sticking with complacency and laziness. The tendency to confuse correlation and causation. “We come out here and put on our minstrel show, and it scares the bad guys away. They’d never try anything with us on the job.”
Well, guess what. The tiger figured out the rock is a hoax.
There should be a team of guys picking holes in the plan everywhere they go. Red vs Blue.
When it comes to government, it can be very difficult to tell the difference between incompetence and malice.
Malicious compliance is not a dirty phrase in government circles.
Deliberately leaving the helm unattended while a ship founders near a reef is incompetence with malice. The left is chock full of both.
That’s a good idea. I’m not surprised they don’t do it.
Laying the foundations for an exit?
Definitely. See my links below – he’s toast.
It looks like he’s slipped a lot even in the last couple weeks.
I don’t know, this is Biden. He says a lot of things. I’ll believe it when I see it.
I think he’ll have to be dragged kicking and screaming from the levers of power.
Goes against this narrative from a preferred Team Blue outlet.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-election/biden-tightens-circle-grows-combative-rcna162154
His chief of staff is leading campaign calls? Wtf?
Biden doesn’t want to be assassinated next?
You know Harris is going to start pushing Joe to do more public events until the election.
Sundown goes shopping
Wowza.
*sniff sniff*
So the cow is looking for an outdoor mall?
Dang. That was a swing and a miss.
Let’s try that again
“The prices of these cars is part of our economic push! But why is there so much food out to draw in car buyers?”
Huh. USSS is using beefy guys for Joe as well.
It’s a Swiss cow
“The steaks have never been higher!”
*golf clap*
*Slaps on infinity tinfoil hat*
The attempt was actually a conspiracy to take out one nominee prior to the convention while Biden steps down too; throwing the whole process in disarray ushering in our lizard overlords. Well not today my alien friends, not today!
I saw a lizard person at the course the other day, very rare sighting. They keep well hidden around here, we are still a military town
You can smell them. And all the damn skin flakes they leave around chairs.
Those lizard guys are from the center of the earth. You peeps own that craziness!
Nice. VW has nerfed Audi in the name of fuel efficiency.
Instead of a Torsen diff, the Quattro Ultra system is 100% front-wheel drive until the system detects slip, upon which it uses an electronically controlled clutch pack to send some power to the rear wheels. Yet it can never send more than half of available torque to the rear, like a traditional Haldex setup.
https://www.thedrive.com/news/2025-audi-s5-drops-traditional-quattro-for-front-biased-all-wheel-drive
So gay. Why the fuck don’t they just get out of the business completely? They obviously hate cars and the people who buy them.
Guess I won’t be getting rid of my old Audi anytime soon.
+1
As someone who has had multiple Quattro equipped cars.
Thanks for three wonderful and awe inspiring episodes from the H&H universe.
Indeed! Three Cheers!
I’ll be the third. Excellent stuff.
Far be it from me to fight a rising Tide! What a Bounty!
Can’t take a day off, SF will be there with another surprise.
Thanks, SF
Almost like Barron as the Anti Christ?
Or the second coming?
Barron is the Kwisatz Haderach, it is known.
If I post publish for an article, do TPTB see pending? I’m not sure if I did it right
You should click “Publish.” Then, the button will turn to “Submit for Review.” Click it again. Then you can tell it’s submitted by going to look at all your posts and will see it pending.
Cool, this new fangled contraption is odd
Cheers RJ
*Salutes
*Pretends to go back to work
40 Democratic senators demand Sen. Bob Menendez to quit
TW – Video. https://www.foxnews.com/video/6358312815112
The question is with the election right around the corner, if you are Team Red do you bother with trying to expel him? It takes 2/3rds.
Gov. Murphy will appoint a Democrat. And the victor of the Senate election will likely be Andy Kim. It’s far from certain he’d appoint Kim as he was not the preferred candidate. Recall the preferred candidate was his wife for crying out loud.
From a Team Red perspective I’d think the chaos and Team Blue infighting would be better than actually getting him expelled.
You’d think that the obvious choice would be the impeach him and remove him.
Nah. Just leave him in office. Take some cheap shots about “convicted felons”.
The Senate probably only has about 4 or 5 days in session between now and November anyway.
Kick him out,
Take control of the Senate
Proclaim Trump dictator
????
Profit
will likely be Andy Kim
“Elect me gently. Elect me slowly…” 🎶
I’m still sympathetic towards that guy – you climb a ladder, stick your head up and a guy points a rifle at you; what’s he supposed to do, pull his pistol and start firing one-handed while still hanging on the ladder? Zero chance of that happening before the guy pointing the rifle at you shoots you in the face.
True and reasonable.
I find it entertaining how desperate they are to put some sort of positive spin on something.
It was enough to put the shooter off his game. I don’t think I would hang around to take a shot in the face once he turned that rifle around either.
But my associates would know in a out 2 seconds, then it’s game on, or should be.
Oh absolutely. That guy should have been yelling to high heaven.
Yeah, should have been “shooter! shooter! shooter!” instantly; I’d bet that was the case but still too long to get that info to the counter-snipers.
If he didn’t have time to get the info to the appropriate sources, then whose job was it to act?
Maybe try to go back up the ladder at some point? Something.
Seems like the timeline reported has 7 minutes from that incident to the shooting.
“At some point, officers lost track of Crooks. He was next seen climbing to the roof of the American Glass Research building. Around seven minutes later, he opened fire on Donald Trump”
Of course, they may be completely wrong. At least they all got home safely.
He came off a ladder pretty fast, leo was in the building, what excuse next?
/Pencil pushing pansy
First, a little history. Traditionally, Quattro has always worked by using a Torsen center-locking differential that sent 60% of available power to the rear axle and 40% to the front axle. The center Torsen diff was always viscous-coupling, so it was durable, reliable, and consistent. For decades, most Audis with longitudinal engines used such a system.
Power delivery biased to the rear? That’s crazy.
You just don’t understeer.
STEVE SMITH DELIVER POWER TO YOUR REAR.
BY DELIVER POWER MEAN…
The NYP takes a shot!
No, Kim Cheatle — a ‘sloped roof’ is not to blame for the Trump shooting
https://nypost.com/2024/07/17/opinion/dont-blame-trump-shooting-on-a-sloped-roof-kim-cheatle/
No Senor, building is muy sloped, es no bueno
Re: the sloped roof is dangerous for agents thing.
Remember that the Once Great Britain is the canary in the coal mine for the US. We should pay more attention to them as a warning.
They had a thing a few years ago where a guy was having an epileptic seizure in a pond about 4 inches deep but was face down. The cops and EMTs wanted to help but were prevented from wading into the 4 inches of water due to the “Department of Health and Safety “ regs.
So a couple of regular Brits who still have balls rescued the guy from drowning.
Sloped roof, 4 inch still water—same shit.