Zombie vs. Ninja

by | Jul 11, 2024 | Film, Fun, GlibFlick | 80 comments

This is it folks. This is the artwork. Little Billy drew it after 8th grade math class.

Zombie vs. Ninja (On PLEX)

When I watch a Kung Fu film nowadays, I look for a couple of things:

  • Ridiculous, oversized foam goofy teeth on random characters with no explanation
  • Random bald head patches shaved into the heads of actors, like they had an electric razor fight that morning
  • Hopping undead zombies
  • Halloween haunted house-style special effects

Because regular kung-fu doesn’t do it for me anymore. I need the weird stuff. Funny how that works, isn’t it? Kinda reminds me of… of…

Never mind. This is a short film, with lots of good stunts and absolutely ridiculous costuming. What’s it about? Who cares! It’s kung fu and hopping zombies! Get some popcorn. I can say since it is so short, there is no room for exposition. Just a lot of kung-fu goodness and crazy inexplicable plotlines. You might notice this movie was retitled at some point to Super Masters vs. Evil Dead. Hmmm…. Wonder what year that happened?

This is one of those films I would have delighted to find in the eighties at a discount matinee. Trivia fact: This film is from the legendary Godfrey Ho, a man I like so much that I wrote a song about him. We have seen at least three of Godfrey’s efforts in the past, including the epic Robo Vampire.

So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary! Remember, if you hate the film you can always hang out and talk gardening, or guns, or literary devices. There are no rules on Thursday!

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About The Author

R.J.

R.J.

Hello. My name is R.J. I am a Tulpa with extra cheese and sour cream.

80 Comments

  1. Ted S.

    I didn’t know you were into Hos.

    • R.J.

      Big Godfrey Ho’s!

      We need a resident music expert to identify all the stolen electronic music used as background noise in this film.

      • Common Tater

        I used to own 15 (?) synthesizers. I’ll see what I can figure out if I can get Plex to work.

        I have to go take care of something with my mom first.

  2. R.J.

    Right before the protagonist’s father gets his butt whipped, he give s great speech about the evils of government. I used that flimsy excuse to post this kung fu film on Glibs tonight.

  3. Sensei

    It’s got Elton John!

    Or maybe Elton Jeong Jin-Hwa.

    I also love how we do the all Asian cultures are the same. It’s a kung fu ninja picture with a Korean actor. Perfect!

    • Common Tater

      There are lots of Koreans in kung fu movies because Tai Kwan Do. Lots of high flying kicks that look great on camera, and it’s a tournament style where you lose if you knock out your opponent so they are good at landing strikes that don’t hurt.

  4. CPRM

    a man I like so much that I wrote a song about him.

    Is it this one?

    • R.J.

      Oh, touché, sir!

      • R.J.

        Much classier.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Hey neat, the only problem is it’s marketed as an M16 decanter and it’s clearly a bullshit AK which is clearly the better platform even in decanter configuration.

  5. Aloysious

    Buck teeth?

    Perpetuating stereotypes. Very naughty.

      • Aloysious

        I like kit kats. stupid things are habit forming.

      • R.J.

        Godfrey Ho is everywhere. Like Elvis.

      • Don escaped Texas

        Like Elvis

        NewWife reports that Mojo has LEFT the building.

        From his wiki, Nixon
        * was a self-described “libertarian cynicalist anarchist”
        * declared his personal religious trinity was Presley, Foghorn Leghorn, and Otis Campbell

  6. Aloysious

    Is Kung-foo ninja magic the same as Black Girl Magic?

    • R.J.

      Not sure. But this film is Kung Fu magical.

      Dude just told him to “stop the wagon, he was going to take shit.”

      • Aloysious

        I like the break dancing zombies and the evil badgirl.

  7. R C Dean

    Apparently James Lileks referred to “The soft bigotry of Joe expectations” in connection with the kerfuffle over his fitness for, well, anything.

  8. Common Tater

    Plex isn’t playing. Oh well.

    • R.J.

      It might be on YouTube

    • R.J.

      Customer satisfaction is the goal on Thursdays.

  9. Not Adahn

    Bao are stupidly well-suited to take on a flight.

    Italian places at airports should start hawking calzonetti or something to get into the “fully enclosed handheld foodstuff” game.

    • Tundra

      Stromboli.

    • UnCivilServant

      What’s the keto option?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        A can of Chef Boyardee ravioli and a straw.

      • R.J.

        A turkey leg or a giant beef rib.

      • Sean

        Bacon on a stick.

  10. Sensei

    President Biden’s team signaled that they were pleased so far with the news conference, which has gone on much longer than his typical exchanges with the press. They seemed particularly pleased with his responses to several questions focused on foreign policy. “To answer the question on everyone’s minds: No, Joe Biden does not have a doctorate in foreign affairs,” said White House spokesman Andrew Bates in a post on X. “He’s just that [expletive] good.”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If they want to sell their own credibility down the river to protect the Mental Patient in Chief then who am I to argue?

      • Sensei

        WSJ called out what folks here mentioned, but it reads like he did well enough that this isn’t going to sway those who already committed one way or another.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        To adequately allay everyone’s fears he needed to knock it out of the goddamn ballpark but he dribbled a single and got caught trying to steal second because his pants fell down. It wasn’t quite as bad as the debate but Lord have mercy.

      • Sensei

        Sounds right.

        Newsweek: Joe Biden Survives Hourlong Press Conference with Two Gaffes, Few Coughs

    • Festus

      President Biden’s team signaled that they were pleased so far with the news conference. He has desisted from shitting down his own leg like a cow led to pasture. No border questions? Nothing about vote buying with loan forgiveness? Lawfare waged against his presumptive opponent? Shutting down the fossil fuel industry? Softball questions and he still stepped on his own dick.

      • Common Tater

        Although — anatomically — being able to step on your own dick is extremely impressive.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        “President Biden, do you have Parkinson’s Disease?”
        A tough but fair question that should win anyone with the huevos to ask it a Pulitzer.

      • Homple

        Extremely impressive unless you have extremely short legs.

      • Festus

        Grandpa Joe did finally catch up to the early ’90’s with his soft loud soft approach. Is there anything creepier than Biden whispering into a microphone? Maybe if he snuck up behind you in the shower I suppose.

      • Common Tater

        “Do you like gladiator movies?”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m surprised he did as well as he did,
        Praise the Biden!

      • B.P.

        “Grandpa Joe did finally catch up to the early ’90’s with his soft loud soft approach.”

        This is a such a winning comment.

    • Common Tater

      I don’t have a doctorate in foreign affairs either. Although I could have done a better job leaving Afghanistan. I managed a Florida Waffle House without a single casualty.

      • Festus

        You just misinterpreted the crowd surrounding the aircraft leaving Kabul. They were waving their arms and clinging to the undercarriage in jubilation. At least that’s what Strawberry told us.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        From the vids I’ve seen that’s actually quite an achievement.

      • Festus

        *florid bow*

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      He still has almost 4 months of campaign left. It ain’t gonna get better.

      • R.J.

        If I timed it right we will watch “The Ruling Class” during the democrat convention.

    • Festus

      Dooooo Eeeet!

  11. Yusef drives a Kia

    George Kennan,
    “×

    defense
    Subscribe

    The Roots of World War III
    By Francis P. Sempa
    FR34727 AP
    Pro-Ukraine demonstrator Thomas Cooney holds a flag outside the NATO summit in Washington, Wednesday, July 10, 2024. (AP Photo/Noah Berger)

    The American diplomat and historian George F. Kennan called the First World War the “seminal catastrophe” of the 20th century, and he wrote two lengthy books on the events that led to the outbreak of that war: The Decline of Bismarck’s European Order and The Fateful Alliance. He also included one of his lectures on the First World War in his book American Diplomacy. Reading these works of history gives one a better sense of the root causes of that war, which included policies, decisions, and events that occurred decades before June-August 1914.

    When the war began in the Balkans after the assassination of the Austrian archduke and his wife in Sarajevo on June 28, 1914, few foresaw that the conflict would eventually engulf most of Europe and parts of Asia, Africa, and the Middle East, and result in the toppling of four empires (Romanov, Hohenzollern, Hapsburg, and Ottoman), the deaths of more than 10 million combatants, the aerial bombing of cities, the use of poison gas, the carving-up of territories in the Middle East that would engender conflicts that continue to this day, the creation of revolutionary secular ideologies that led to an even more destructive war and a Cold War that followed it. When Kennan reviewed the major diplomatic and international events in the rest of the century, he remarked that “all the lines of inquiry” led back to World War I.

    Today, with wars in Eastern Europe and the Middle East, and a gathering storm in the western Pacific, there is concern that the world is lurching toward another world war. All three conflicts involve at least one nuclear armed power. Some respected strategists and observers believe that an “axis” of autocracies (Russia, China, Iran, and perhaps North Korea) are collaborating to undermine the global order produced by the end of the Cold War, and are urging the United States and its allies to become more deeply involved in these conflicts. Some have even urged the formulation of a “grand strategy” for winning the Third World War. The “lessons of Munich” have been invoked along with Churchillian-like warnings about the need to confront aggressors now to deter future aggression. Those who counsel prudence or restraint, or who promote diplomatic solutions to these conflicts are often labeled “appeasers” or worse.

    In The Decline of Bismarck’s European Order, Kennan wrote that the origins of World War I could be traced to at least 1875, when the future Franco-Russian alliance first germinated in the minds of the statesmen of both countries. A hallmark of German Chancellor Otto von Bismarck’s diplomacy was to prevent an alliance between France and Russia. When Bismarck left the scene in 1890–forced into retirement by the brash Kaiser Wilhelm II–his alliance structure gradually fell apart. During the next two decades, France and Russia grew closer, eventually entering into what Kennan called the “fateful alliance” in 1894. Germany, meanwhile, allowed the Reinsurance Treaty with Russia to lapse, grew closer to Austria-Hungary, while simultaneously scaring Great Britain by challenging it at sea. Yet, almost to the very day in August 1914, that Germany declared war on Russia, and the alliance system quickly brought other great powers into the war, few believed that the regional war between Austria-Hungary and Serbia would spread across Europe, into Asia, the Middle East, and Africa, and draw into the maelstrom of conflict combatants from Australia, North America, and elsewhere.

    In The Fateful Alliance, Kennan explained what he characterized as a “whole series of . . . aberrations, misunderstandings, and bewilderments that have played so tragic and fateful a part in the development of Western civilization over the subsequent decades.” He continued:

    One sees how the unjustified assumption of war’s likelihood

    could become the cause of its final inevitability. One sees

    the growth of military-technological capabilities to levels

    that exceed man’s capacity for making any rational and

    intelligent use of them. One sees how the myopia induced

    by indulgence in the mass emotional compulsions of modern

    nationalism destroys the power to form any coherent, realistic

    view of true national interest. One sees, finally, the inability

    of otherwise intelligent men to perceive the inherent self-

    destructive quality of warfare among the great industrial

    powers of the modern age.”

  12. Yusef drives a Kia

    Oh fuck, I jacked that comment up,
    Sorry!
    The quote at the end is what I intended to post

    • R.J.

      Good Lord man!
      Winston would be proud.

      • Common Tater

        Yusef is Ken Shultz 😉

      • Festus

        I miss Ken Shultz.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I said sorry
        /I miss Ken

  13. Festus

    My Apologies comments seem to be hither and yon.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      How the hell are you?
      Good Sir?

  14. hayeksplosives

    Re: Joe Biden.

    His repeated use of the word “anyway” once he’s lost his train of thought but wants to get back on track is EXACTLY what my Alzheimer’s afflicted relatives did as they were rapidly losing g the plot.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean and U!

      I’m set free from being on call for jury duty!!! 😁🥳🎉🎊💃

      • UnCivilServant

        Went looking for pictures to set up a courtroom scene, but couldn’t find what I needed.

      • Gender Traitor

        👩‍⚖️ <—allegedly a judge

      • Gender Traitor

        Nice! Nothing obviously weird, other than the entire jury being Dressed for Success®. I’m thinking an art theft or forgery case from what I take to be People’s Exhibit A.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, I gave it the prompt

        laywer in suit addressing jury, lawyer, suit, jury, courtroom, standing, full body,

        which doesn’t say the jury shouldn’t be wearing suits.

      • Grumbletarian

        Good morning, GT and sundary.

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, Grumble! How are you today?

  15. Sean

    “Trump hates the blacks.”

    -My tv

    Literally one of the worst political ads I’ve ever seen.

    • Grumbletarian

      Well it’s a Friday preceding a weekend in which I am not on call, so a promising start. I had an Employee Relation’s case against me closed in my favor yesterday, so there’s that too. And I know of another case that was reported that I already know I will win (guy wanted to take more vacation time than he has PTO available, bought tickets to Hawaii already, and is mad I won’t approve his time off request.) So far so good.

      But it’s early yet…

      • Grumbletarian

        Threading fail… See? I knew it was too good to last!!!

      • Gender Traitor

        If that’s the worst thing that happens to you today, you’re golden! 😄

    • UnCivilServant

      Those “Healthy at any size” crazies have gone too far.

    • Gender Traitor

      Malwarebytes’s Browser Guard blocked that link – “suspicious top level domain” 🙁

      But enough about Biden. ::rimshot::

  16. Grumbletarian

    https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/democrats-worry-biden-press-conference-leaves-purgatory-analysis/story?id=111866611

    President Joe Biden’s highly anticipated press conference went better than his debate. It also wasn’t a masterclass. And Democrats are worried they’re right where they started before he spoke Thursday night.

    Biden’s remarks featured both a vociferous defense of his record and detailed explanation of his foreign policy along with eyebrow-raising flubs, including mixing up the names of his vice president and his rival. That leaves Democrats’ takeaways from the press conference muddled as the party continues to spasm over last month’s debate, when Biden’s rambling answers sparked a tense debate about replacing him on the 2024 ballot.

    “This isn’t a home run. It’s not a disaster, but it also doesn’t prove he can go out there and campaign and win. This doesn’t erase the debate, and it doesn’t move the polls. If I’m a member of Congress or a donor, I’m not walking away from this inspired, so the issues he had before the presser remain,” said one former House Democratic aide.

    Joe’s Big Boy press conference was supposed to reassure the American people that he was still sharp at a tack and could reliably helm the ship of state. Maybe only Joe at this point thinks that’s what happened last night.

    • juris imprudent

      Reagan in ’87 was sharper than Biden today.