Monday Afternoon Liks – Cryptid Crash Edition

by | Aug 5, 2024 | Cryptids, Daily Links, STEVE SMITH | 127 comments

SOMETHING NOT RIGHT.

STEVE SMITH, CERTIFIED CASCADIA INVEST ADVIZOR!

STEVE HEAR BAD THING HAPPEN WITH MUNNIEZ TODAY. STOCKS MARKET GO DOWN LOTSLY. HIM HERE HALP FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN HOOMANS!

  • LISTEN WINSTON’S MOM – SHE SMART ON MUNNIEZ. ALSO, BUY WHAT POLITICIAN BUY.
  • GRAB ALL PINE NEEDLE AND MAPLE LEAFS ONE CAN! THEM NOT RISK IN STOCKSES MARKETS. OFFICIAL MUNNY OF CASCADIA!

FREE CASCADIA!

NOW ASK COUSIN SEA SMITH WHAT THINK.

IT TOO LATE BUY WHALE OIL?

SEA SMITH NO WORRY! HIM INVEST ALL MUNNIEZ IN SEAWEED. HE HEAR WEED VERY POPULAR WITH LAND HOOMANS. NO CAN MISS! SEA SMITH GO CHECK LATEST!

HEY?! NO SEE SEAWEED. NO OTHER WEED EITHER?! MAYBE HAVE STICK WITH RAPESEED INVESTMENT. IT SMITH FAMILY TRADITION.

COME ON IN, WATER IS FINE!

ZARDOZ FLIES AHEAD OF THE MARKET.

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. ZARDOZ HAS ONLY ONE INVESTMENT TO ADVISE THE CHOSEN ONES ON.

GRAIN SLAVERY FUTURES!

THINK ABOUT IT. THE ETERNALS OF THE VORTEX WILL ALWAYS NEED THEIR GREEN BREAD, SO DEMAND IS STEADY.

THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS CAN KEEP THE GRAIN SLAVE RANKS FILLED. IT IS A CAN’T MISS, CHOSEN ONES!

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

MUSIC.

About The Author

Glib Staff

Glib Staff

127 Comments

  1. kinnath

    I need to mow the lawn today.

    The weather station says 92 degrees and the dew point is 81.

    What a miserable fucking day it is out there.

    • SDF-7

      See — this is where the Grain Slavery futures and their threshing would come in handy. You might even get some green bread out of it.

      • Swiss Servator

        You, too, can join the Brutal Exterminators!

    • Cowboy

      Same, and I’m not looking forward to it. Haven’t been able to get a yard guy since the hurricane so now I must suffer in the heat and mosquitos.

      I really like my Ego mower, it’s great. However, it’s really only great when the yard is maintained. It can’t handle this jungle I have after a solid week+ of rain

      • ZWAK angry at the world, and the world doesn’t care.

        It took years for the wife to convince me to get a yard guy, and now that is the best $80 a month I can think of.

      • Ted S.

        I assume Mrs. Zwak wants a pool boy too?

  2. SDF-7

    Maybe I should be more worried about the markets and the economy (as opposed to being worried about being virtually alone with the Smiths…..), but for some reason I’m not. I suppose the ’08 Recession inured me to it a bit — I’ve been under the impression the economy has been in a bubble for some time (several sectors), fed by the Fed’s fellatio and all… so a market correction seems natural.

    Far enough out from retirement or needing to sell a house (I may move… but I would need probably a couple of years to save up for getting the crap consolidated and getting the work done to make it marketable that I’m not figuring the house would be on the market anyway) that I’m pretty much thinking I can wait out the cycle. As long as I don’t lose my job (which, granted… could happen… I’m older and the industry isn’t kind to older people in downturns, after all…. We shall see what we shall see.

    TL;DR — I just can’t get worked up about it much because it so, so obviously was coming.

    And now it will psych us all out by bouncing right back so that Kamalamadingdong can be elected…. And as STEVE does to the hikers, so shall it be with DC and the rest of the country…

  3. Aloysious

    HAIL ZARDOZ!

    And STEVE SMITH too.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    Good little ditty.

    • The Other Kevin

      I don’t even think in terms of “conspiracy theories” anymore. Just assume everything is exactly as it looks and you’ll be 90% right.

    • Gdragon

      “Multiple heated confrontations and disagreements over how best to handle the cocaine ensued after a Secret Services Uniformed Division officer found the bag on July 2, 2023”

      ——–

      How many times do you think “Fuck you I should be the one to keep it safe!!!” was said by someone?

      • SDF-7

        Dark Cracky whispered in their dreams….

      • ZWAK angry at the world, and the world doesn’t care.

        Dark Cracky will kindle all the dreams it took you a lifetime to destroy…

    • Fourscore

      By destroy you mean dispose of it in the proper manner?

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Just because the “magnificent seven” are getting a haircut by the dreaded profit takers doesn’t mean my stocks (or yours) are necessarily in the shitter.

    • The Gunslinger

      – “Banking regulators have said they are aware there is a problem, while also assuring the public that this won’t be another 2008”

      Great. It’s another 2008 coming.

      • SDF-7

        It seems to me that like the military — banking regulators are always fighting the last war (as it were). Only it is worse because the oceans of regulations they add after each incident contributes to the next one. Argentinian chainsaws come to mind about now…

      • Bobarian LMD

        Not 2008, probably going to be a lot worse.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Burn the heretics

    Many young progressives who were hesitant to usher in another Joe Biden presidency now appear eager to cast their ballots for Vice President Kamala Harris — and they’re turning against fellow leftists online who aren’t on the same page.

    In the days since Biden dropped his re-election campaign, progressive circles appeared to celebrate the news and rally behind Harris. But some left-leaning social media users were quick to criticize progressives’ willingness to vote for “a cop,” and some pro-Palestinian voters argued that Harris’ foreign policy would be just as intolerable as Biden’s.

    Soon, however, a slew of TikToks and X posts lambasted the narrative that Harris is on par with former President Donald Trump, listing out numerous ways that they believe a Trump presidency would be worse for marginalized communities at home and abroad. Many also criticized anti-Harris leftists’ seeming inability to come up with a better solution, accusing them of performative activism.

    New Jersey-based musician Charley Furey, 28, said he has been fearful about how a second Trump presidency might affect LGBTQ+ rights. He said he wept in relief when Biden — who was too moderate for his tastes — announced that he would step aside, because for the first time in a long time, he felt hopeful that a Democratic nominee could beat Trump.

    War of the drama queens.

    • SDF-7

      Putting the “idiot” in “useful idiots”, certainly…. It isn’t like there was actually 4 years of OMB to track what really happened with “LGBTQ+ rights” or anything….

      And Harris being a problem for the “pro-Palestinian” crowd is a laugh.

      • The Other Kevin

        I’ll never forget this. Back in 2016 there was a gay woman we knew from roller derby. When Trump won she got on Facebook and said she was literally shaking in fear because she was gay and now because Trump people do something violent to her. Thankfully we lost touch with her (she was a pain in the ass in various ways) but as far as I know she was never attacked by a MAGA mob.

        These people are brainwashed into fear and you’ll never talk them out of it.

      • SDF-7

        Who can blame them after what happened to Jussie Smollet? MAGA mobs everywhere…. mass hysteria!

      • The Other Kevin

        She did live in Chicago, which is MAGA Country, so maybe she was just lucky.

      • Suthenboy

        I think everyone knows the pro-palis will not be satisfied short of death camps, ovens and carpet bombing of Israel. They are a gnats pecker away from coming out and saying that explicitly.

        Never again huh? Go ahead, vote leftist and see what happens.

      • Gdragon

        My friend who is a server recently told me about all of these awful stories of discrimination and violence that she heard from diners at catered events during Pride Week. I basically said “You know, just because a stranger seems pretty friendly and tips you well doesn’t mean that they’re not completely full of shit.”

      • Sensei

        Gdragon – giving another meaning to “just the tip”.

    • Sensei

      NJ will be just fine in the Harris electoral vote. It’s nice he thinks his vote counts.

  7. JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

    The market is getting treated like a lost hiker in Cascadia.

    • Sean

      I go away for a couple days, and y’all derail the economy.

      Sad!

    • Tonio

      [golf clap]

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      There are bull markets, there are bear markets, and then there are STEVE SMITH markets.

      • Bobarian LMD

        It’s gonna go up in the end?

      • Chafed

        Hi-you!

      • Chafed

        Fucking autocorrect. Hi-yo!

  8. The Late P Brooks

    “Certain leftists want a 100% morally pure option that doesn’t realistically exist in our political system right now. I wish it did but it doesn’t,” said Furey, who also shared his frustration on TikTok. “And it annoys me that rather than use their vote to make a difference in what ways they can, they throw their hands up and say screw the system. It’s a cop-out and completely against what we on the left should stand for.”

    Progressives have previously expressed disenchantment with the president’s support for Israel’s military campaign in Gaza, his climate policies and his efforts to ban TikTok, among other concerns. They’ve similarly criticized Harris in the past for her criminal justice policies as California attorney general and, more recently, for her seeming complicity with Biden’s stance on Israel.

    Not to mention the likelihood of your Maoist ideal candidate getting slaughtered in all 50 states.

    • SDF-7

      No True Communist has ever run! The Ideal Communist Man Perxn would sweep all before Xir!

      • ZWAK angry at the world, and the world doesn’t care.

        Only the Dragon Riders of Perxn!

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Wynn noted that most on the left will likely never find a “perfect candidate” in a major presidential nominee.

    “Unfortunately, American presidential elections are largely decided by Midwestern swing-state voters and not by socialists on Twitter,” she said. “So that’s why you see candidates tending to say things that don’t feel appealing to socialist Twitter.”

    “Unfortunately, not all voters are as dumb as I am.”

    That’s surprisingly perceptive.

  10. Sean

    Did some off road Jeeping and horseback riding today.

    Wheee!

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      you kids and your euphemisms…

      • Tundra

        Sounds like a great day!

        Where are y’all vacationing?

      • Sean

        Complete with underground nuclear war bunker!

      • Gender Traitor

        underground nuclear war bunker!

        Do you know something you’re not sharing with us?

      • Sean

        Maybe…

        Oh, dinner reservations before the …err…nm.

        Gotta go!

      • Tundra

        What a great place!

        I would be all over the fishing and falconry!

        Enjoy, dude!

    • Chafed

      I would love to be a fly on the wall. Every 4 star in the room must be frustrated by his lack of cognition.

      • Compelled Speechless

        You think Biden gets invited to any meetings and is involved in any decision making? That’s adorable.

      • Drake

        I don’t know. They’ll be throwing around $billions in tax dollars like it’s confetti. After a while I’d getting pretty pissed.

      • R.J.

        SugarFree’s next post has written itself.

    • bacon-magic

      Hey are you a local river rat?

      • That Guy

        Yep. Between the rivers in one of Illinois’s weirdest counties, Calhoun.

      • bacon-magic

        Ha! I live in Alton. Calhoun has great peaches, morels and WEED.

      • SDF-7

        SEA SMITH BE RIGHT UP ST. LAWRENCE TO INVEST IN YOUR COMMUNITY…. AND BY INVEST, MEAN….

    • Ted S.

      Anyone else hate the style of big-ass open captioning right in the middle of the frame?

      • Sensei

        Yeah, but in this case it’s not like it’s blocking much action.

      • SDF-7

        That’s what she said!

      • R.J.

        Yes. Not a fan of it.

  11. Cowboy

    My 401k is now unburdened from what has been.

    • Sensei

      Well it was irrationally going up before. Now it’s irrationally going down.

    • Urthona

      Actually hasn’t been too bad. Just a small dip.

      Will be interesting to see if that’s all there is to it

    • Drake

      Now you can imagine a future without it

  12. SDF-7

    Butthurt crap like this could cost him the election and reminds me of why I wished DeSantis did better in the primary. He contains multitudes — and a sizable portion of them seem to be vindictive idiots.

    • Urthona

      Yup. Pure idiocy.

      But Republicans chose him. Again. Of course.

    • The Other Kevin

      He seemed to be making really good strategic choices the last few months. This is just dumb. Democrats can’t win on any issue besides abortion (and he defused that one). He’s got a winning hand, double down on it.

    • Sensei

      Yup. It’s what he does.

    • Chafed

      He is once again revealing his lack of discipline. If he loses, it will be because of stuff like this.

    • creech

      Mrs. Creech voted for Trump twice. Now says she would vote for Shapiro if he was the prez candidate. Trump has to be losing votes on net every time he acts the bully.

  13. bacon-magic

    Steve Smith would forget thisIllinois monster

    • The Other Kevin

      It still gets me that of all sports this happened in boxing. Where people can get seriously injured or killed. I wonder why this isn’t happening in women’s gymnastics?

      • SDF-7

        I’d be happy to let all these XY competitors participate in the women’s competitive shooting sessions…..

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Because guys would quit the first time they split the beam.

    • Suthenboy

      I am sometimes astounded at how much horseshit can be packed into so few words.

    • Timeloose

      I’m still not clear about this person’s sex. I have heard everything from “that’s a man, baby! “ to the person was a true XXY.

      • rhywun

        Ditto but much like England, we’re seeing that people are fed up with certain aspects of current year and are pouncing back. Even if the “facts” don’t precisely line up in their favor.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        It seems to me they could clear things up by saying what their chromosomes are. If XX, then no problem. If XY, disqualify. If XXY or some such, then it’s not be so clear, and could be one of those “teachable moments” our betters like so much. Instead it’s “Shut up, bigot.”

      • R C Dean

        The fact that nobody is saying anything other than the people saying “XY” tells you something. If xe was a genetic abnormality, we’d have heard about it by now, I’m pretty sure.

    • R.J.

      OMG. Don’t make me say it.

      • R.J.

        I don’t know. I shall practice restraint for now.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Seems like somethin’ playful after the hawk-tuah. Me likey.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Far right extremism

    A Virginia man has been charged with making death threats against Vice President Kamala Harris and appeared in federal court on Monday.

    According to court records, Frank Lucio Carillo made several threats against Harris, President Joe Biden, FBI Director Christopher Wray, several Arizona officials, and others on the right-wing social media platform Gettr.

    In response to a subpoena, the FBI found 4,359 posts from Carillo “targeting various public officials,” including Harris.

    ——-

    Federal agents retrieved two firearms from his home, including a pistol he bought in 2023 and a rifle purchased this year.

    A hearing to determine whether Carillo will remain behind bars while awaiting a resolution in his case has been set for Thursday.

    He fits the profile. Crucify him.

    • rhywun

      “Gettr”? Is that like Grindr for MAGAs?

    • Chipping Pioneer

      More effective than voting.

  15. Tundra

    Fuck you, Ford.

    Patent application for the F-150 Stasi edition.

    • kinnath

      1. A method comprising: receiving, by a processor in a first vehicle, from a first vehicle speed detection system of the first vehicle, a speed measurement associated with a second vehicle; determining, by the processor, based on evaluating the speed measurement, that a speed of the second vehicle exceeds a first threshold speed; receiving, by the processor, from an image capture system of the first vehicle, an image comprising the second vehicle; determining, by the processor, based on evaluating the image, at least a first identifying feature of the second vehicle; and generating, by the processor, a record comprising the speed measurement, the image comprising the second vehicle, and the first identifying feature of the second vehicle.

      nothing burger

      cop car with camera and radar catches someone speeding and the invention generates and image with the other car, an identifying feature (license plate), and speed measurement in one image.

      • R C Dean

        Keep reading. It gives the cop access to your car’s electronics. To display on your infotainment system that you are speeding, according to the cop, but once that door is cracked open . . . .

      • kinnath

        4. The method of claim 1, wherein the first vehicle is a first law-enforcement vehicle and wherein the method further comprises: displaying, by the processor, on a display screen of an infotainment system of the first vehicle, a notification that includes at least one of the speed measurement associated with the second vehicle, the image comprising the second vehicle, or the first identifying feature of the second vehicle.

        A dependent claim. It protects the concept. Which is worthless without an industry standard receiver, transmitter, and protocols.

        But yes. Fuck them for even thinking about it.

  16. Chipping Pioneer

    I have been experimenting with trolling Boomercons on the major national conservative-leaning newspaper’s site. It is remarkable how locked into a binary worldview they are.

  17. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. The poor potheads can’t catch a break

    Supporters of the legislation that is legalizing recreational cannabis in Minnesota are starting to wonder if two rights can make a wrong.
     
    Two pillars of the legalization effort are that people who were caught up in the enforcement of prohibition should have their criminal records expunged and that the same people and their communities should now benefit from the new industry.
     
    But in some cases expungement is making it harder for people with arrests and convictions to prove their status as social equity applicants. And a related criminal justice reform — diversion programs to keep first-time offenders from having conviction records in the first place — is also keeping some applicants from being able to prove they suffered from prohibition because the law requires convictions.

    So the potheads got to clear up their record (which is good), but with the clean record, they can’t jump the line to get one of the state licenses to sell pot. Not sure why there is any “social equity” points being given to potheads, but it makes me laugh.

    • R C Dean

      Step 1: Expunge the records of potheads.
      Step 2: Give convicted potheads the licenses for pot stores.

      Err, nobody saw the problem with this? What were they, stoned?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Nope, just dumb as stoners.

        King Walz’s first Pot Commissioner had to withdraw because she was selling pot illegally.

        The process of setting up the Office of Cannabis Management in Minnesota has gotten off to a rocky start.
         
        The agency’s new director withdrew after a day over allegations her company had sold cannabis products that are not legal. There is also a legal effort to declare cannabis sales legal now because of an historic clause in the state constitution.
         
        Marijuana may now be legal for personal use in Minnesota, but according to the new state law, it’s not supposed to be legal to sell until the new state agency the Office of Cannabis Management is up and running and that wont be until early 2025.
         
        That office is barely off the ground and already having problems. The newly appointed director of the Office of Cannabis Management, Erin Dupree, was forced to withdraw after one day.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Actually, the stoners have a pretty good grip on drug laws.

        The Adult-Use Cannabis Bill (AUC) is unconstitutional, economically unfair and cruel to the sick.

        Here’s just a short list of its flaws:

        It wastes taxpayer dollars to create patronage jobs. Instead of combining the same duties that are currently being performed by the Dept. of Public Safety’s “Alcohol & Gambling Enforcement Division” this bill creates an entirely new bureaucratic agency called the Cannabis Management Board.
         
        It creates a Substance Use Disorder Advisory Council that will advise the Dept. of Human Services (DHS) forever, without the automatic expiration of 2-years required by Statute 15.059. In Statute 254A.04, the Legislature created an Alcohol & Other Drug Abuse Advisory Council to advise DHS, which expired in 2018. By now, boring the DHS with advice on cannabis dependence that barely exists, in perpetuity, is stupid.
         
        The AUC imposes a 10-percent gross receipts tax on cannabis, while the gross receipt tax on alcohol is 2.5-percent. In other words, cannabis is taxed 4-times more than alcohol, the most destructive drug known to mankind and way more addictive. It’s a prime example of “regressive taxation,” where the poor pay a disproportionate share of the tax burden. How do you justify that?
         
        The AUC requires two employees to transport or deliver cannabis. One employee is enough to transport or deliver alcohol and prescription drugs. Is pot more dangerous than alcohol and amphetamines? Why do you need a guard employee? Just lock the vehicle. This is nonsense!
         
        The AUC prohibits outdoor advertising on a building or a vehicle. However, the alcohol commissioner can approve the grape logo for Edina Liquor and the name “Budweiser” on the side of a delivery vehicle. More nonsense!
         
        The AUC has equity grants because it inequitably defrauds the poor and rich alike of their Constitutional right to grow, sell and peddle without a license. The rich won’t bother growing cannabis when they can easily buy it from a personal grower through an app that connects buyers and home growers or a corporate grower. Outrageous regulations requiring high-cost surveillance and security systems along with high license fees, drives up the cost of small business startups in poor and wealthier neighborhoods.

  18. Evan from Evansville

    Woah. Pretty much employed! Octapharma Plasma called me and we’re having an interview tomorrow. I went in today to check the route and ended up chatting to her. On the phone she said she was “impressed by my resume,” and it returned in person. Unless something odd with tests or history gets in the way, it seems ensured this will be my next job. My first full-time job in America…that actually has a schedule. (And even it changes every two weeks.)

    I fit in quite well there. Folk donating plasma for money for a business selling a needed product to desirous customers. Morally, I’m thrilled. Unlike other possibilities that would have me biting my tongue a bit (me guesses). The folk are My Kind of folk. I’ll get along great with them. Mostly poor, I’m guessin’ college kids as well, and just demographics that I ‘get along’ with. My nature; experience teaching foreigners in Strange-Strange Lands; covering Miami County’s characters in the newspaper; travels abroad.. ..add in my time in AA; detox; and my (fairly minimal) time in, and knowledge of the Underworld… wow. I Get these folk. I get along with them, rather.

    Looks like $19-$19.5/hour, with four 10-hour shifts a week. Full-time, not a contract. She pretty much said after learning the rules and shit, “You’ll” start in a few weeks. I am not sure how, but damn I find ways to snake my way into cracks that suit me. This does FAR better than a hospital or an elderly-etc clinic. I am quite excited.

    Ancillary positive: DAMN, these folk are gonna have Stories. I did think of the explosion of writing/story ideas that would come up and in each day. (I (so far) only write non-fiction.))

    • R C Dean

      “She pretty much said after learning the rules and shit, “You’ll” start in a few weeks.”

      Not to rain on your parade, but that is a pretty common type of thing to say to everybody being interviewed – it’s conversational way of saying “Whoever gets the job will X”. It’s not a job offer until it’s in writing. It’s great to be in the interview pool – that’s the hardest part, IMO, but you’ve still got to bring it to the hoop.

      • Evan from Evansville

        I’m with ya. Nothin’s in writing. The folk working there I briefly chatted with happily surprised to see a phlebotomist. Hrm.

        We shall see how tomorrow goes, but my read of the room was exceptionally promising. She did pretty much say I’ll be “starting in a couple of weeks, or so.” Friendly chatter, and I still have to get my blood and background checked, etc. So that *is* a known unknown. We’ll see!

      • Evan from Evansville

        Ya addressed the ‘workin’ in two weeks bit,’ my bad. It was the feel of the place. Not a hospital, quite small, bad neighborhood, just my read of her, especially on the phone with her earlier today, made it sound quite sincere. I could (yet again) be naive ’bout it.

    • Tundra

      Fuck yes. Good job, Evan! I hope you continue to crush!

    • Ted S.

      Do we really know that’s a Muslim immigrant in the UK?

    • R C Dean

      Looks like he never loaded it before.

    • UnCivilServant

      Is that plastic? It’s moving as if there’s no weight to it.

    • Pope Jimbo

      The way his finger was on the trigger as he tried to jam the magazine in does make me agree that this won’t end well.

    • The Last American Hero

      Murder is illegal there, so the gun won’t do him any good.

  19. Timeloose

    “This is not a dream… not a dream. We are using your brain’s electrical system as a receiver. We are unable to transmit through conscious neural interference. You are receiving this broadcast as a dream. We are transmitting from the year two, zero, two, nine. You are receiving this broadcast in order to alter the events you are seeing. Our technology has not developed a transmitter strong enough to reach your conscious state of awareness, but this is not a dream. You are seeing what is actually occurring for the purpose of causality violation.

  20. Pope Jimbo

    If it wasn’t for Minnesoda gubment workers, none of you would have honey crisp apples!

    In 1982, apple variety MN 1711 at the University of Minnesota’s apple breeding program was saved from the reject pile by horticulturist David Bedford and given another year to prove itself worthy of a patent. The apple, renamed Honeycrisp™, became Minnesota’s official state fruit and one of the most popular apple varieties in the nation.
     
    Apple breeding is a lengthy process, taking up to thirty years for a new apple variety to hit the market after cross-pollination. The tree that Bedford saved in 1982 was one of four clones of MN 1711, which was cross-bred in 1960 by Dr. Cecil Stushnoff, former head of the Horticultural Research Center. The original MN 1711 was badly damaged during the winter of 1976–77 and discarded, but not before it was propagated to produce the clones, which were forgotten. Bedford, who was hired in 1979 after Stushnoff left the university, rediscovered one of the clones while reviewing trees marked for termination. After researching its origins, he believed that the mother tree was planted in less-than-optimal conditions and decided to give MN 1711 another chance. When he did, the results were delicious.
     
    The Honeycrisp transformed Minnesota’s languishing apple-growing industry, bringing fresh revenue to small, family-run orchards. It was also an economic boon for the university, which received $16.5 million in royalties by 2019. These sales made the Honeycrisp its third-most-profitable invention after an anti-HIV drug and a gene-editing technique used in cancer treatment. The fruit’s patent expired in 2008, but the university continued to make money through overseas licensing.