7pm
“What do you mean you can’t make it better than that?” Kamala asked with flat scavenger calm.
“We may have just hit a limit of AI technology to create convincing false crowds, Ma’am,” the intern said, flinching.
Kamala hit him with a clipboard until he fell out of his Areon.
“I need another autistic in here,” she bellowed.
A frightened mouse popped her head and in, and said, “I don’t think we have any more of them.”
“The DNC is out of autistic interns? I don’t believe it, I refuse to believe if believing it believes to believe it.”
“Ye, Madam Vice President.”
Kamala raised her bloody clipboard menacingly.
“Yes, Madam President Elect, She Who is Popular and Inevitable.”
11pm
“Meth? You think I want fucking meth?” Cracky said through Hunter’s mouth but with Dark Cracky’ s eyes.
“It’s what I got, man,” the Anacostia bodega clerk said behind two inches of ballistic glass.
“Hillary him, Hunter!” Dark Cracky murmured.
“No, I already have enough legal trouble with the Ukraine shit,” Hunter said. “I knew Daddy being out of power would catch up with me.”
“Man, if you aren’t going to buy something, you need to get out,” the clerk said.
“Such terrible customer service these, days,” Hunter said. “I remember when you could buy a blow and blow in any strip club on the East Coast.”
“Inflation,” Dark Cracky muttered.
“Which total has nothing to do with Daddy Joe whatsoever!” Cracky yelped convulsively.
The three of them left the dingy bodega, Secret Service escort in tow.
2am
“it will be nice to be back in the White House,” the hair said wistfully.
“Really?” the hat asked. “The place is fucking dump. And it’s going to smell like a rest home: shit, piss, 409, vitamin gummies and despair.”
“You don’t understand what the Florida humidity does to me,” the hair said.
“How could I not with you bitching about it for three years?”
“Would the two of you shut up?” Donald said over the intercom in his hyperbaric chamber. “Some of us need our sleep!”
Outside, J. D. wrestled an alligator, a possum, and a fake Seminole Indian at the same time.
The DNC is out of autistic interns
You gotta mine the Libertarian Party for that.
Heh.
You can’t swing a dead cat around here without someone screeching about it?
If you tell a lie many times…
She’s like the Glory character from Buffy.
“Yes, Madam President Elect, She Who is Popular and Inevitable.”
Sounds like the MSM.
shit, piss, 409, vitamin gummies and despair
Before Juris goes non compo mentis (wherein said rest home becomes the logical option), he’ll be taking a long walk into some dark, cold woods.
Unfortunately, you can’t really disappear in the US. You’ll need to go overseas to find scavengers that will eat your bones.
Several thousand people manage to do it yearly.
https://namus.nij.ojp.gov/sites/g/files/xyckuh336/files/media/document/namus-bi-annual-report-january-2024.pdf
I wonder how long it would take for people to notice I’m gone if I opted to go walkabout.
I expect the reaction to my return would be “You left?”
But I need sequels to Prince of the North Tower.
Yep. Tundra will disappear into one.
I am right there with you. Seeing my grandmother in one of those places has been two years of something chewing on my heart.
Sorry, SF. My awesome grandmother spent like 8 years with ridiculous dementia in a memory care place. It was a wonderful place staffed by wonderful people but it broke my heart every time I went to see her. For years she had no clue who I was. Just some nice dude who dropped by.
When I realized she had no idea who I was talking about when I mentioned my Dad, who she loved more than anyone but me, it was a dark place.
Wait. This is bad for my brand. I’m supposed to be a heartless monster.
Poop! Tentacles! Impossible sexual orifices!
Wait. This is bad for my brand.
Nope. You can be heartless about everything else. Grandmothers are exempt. I miss her every day.
I’m supposed to be a heartless monster.
There is always heart of darkness.
Thankfully I haven’t had that experience. My grandparents died relatively suddenly, mostly heart issues and strokes. The longest one in a home was one grandmother, for about 2 weeks.
But I agree with you all, disappearing is a good plan.
I am right there with you. Seeing my grandmother in one of those places has been two years of something chewing on my heart.
Sorry Sugarfree.
I’ve had many relatives in those places. I’d rather shoot myself in the head before going into one.
My mother was in the care center for 10 months. The worst part was that she was cognizant and coherent. Just not physically able to care for herself at home.
I don’t want to go! A number of my classmates have disappeared into the black hole. Fortunately my dad and one brother died quickly at home.
Now imagine it being your wife.
We’re dealing with this with my mom. She had a stroke a few months back and is mostly uncommunicative. It’s unclear if she understands what’s going on and can’t verbalize it, or if she just doesn’t understand. I think in her more lucid moments she knows, but it’s up and down. She has had a full time caregiver the last couple years, but my sister wants to put her in a home. She’s tired of coming up every few weeks and changing diapers for someone who doesn’t even recognize her. I’m there nearly every week changing diapers too, so I get it. It ain’t no fun, changing your mom’s diaper. Not my kink. I wouldn’t even want to change Winston’s Mom’s diaper. Anyway, putting my mom in a home feels like saying, “OK, here’s the iceberg. Time to go.” If she were completely out of it, it would be an easy decision, but I don’t think she is.
That’s a nightmare on a whole different level.
I’m so sorry for you guys.
Dementia is not in my family until very late in life (90s) (gma from hell #2 and her sisters). My mom is using a wheelchair now for longer distances and just wants to go, but death is not on her horizon. I asked her if she’d rather this or lose her faculties, and she said this. She’s making me see my future, but fortunately, it’s one I can largely attempt to offset with weight training and a good diet.
My neighbor across the alley, his wife went into memory care about a year ago. Sad, the various situations we found her in before that happened.
I got lucky, my fathers second wife really stepped up and made him her sole concern for the last decade of his life. Alzheimer’s is a bitch, and watching a strong man reduced to being an infant is horrifying.
My mom is at a facility which is actually quite nice. The kind I won’t be able to afford. So WebDom has taken over her mother’s pledge on what to do when the time comes…
I used to tell my kids that I was gonna live til I was 90, but I was gonna start pooping my when I turned 60.
That was funny when I was 45.
“I was gonna start pooping my when I turned 60”
While changing my father’s diaper in the last year of his life he would make wisecracks like “I bet you always knew I was full of shit” and “You heard of the mother lode? This is the father load”. Good times.
When the comments on a Sugarverse post are darker than the post itself . . . .
two years of something chewing on my heart
Wife and I had that happen when her dad and uncle did everything they could to make grandma and step-grandpa’s dotage as cheap and convenient as possible for dad and uncle.
We’re planning for a guest house set up for a parent to live out their end years with family. It doesn’t help that all of our parents are divorced, so we get to help one of four.
I dunno, man. The ‘Glades sound like a pretty good time, right before checking out.
Too warm and swampy.
I think I (well, my body) could disappear with trivial ease in Sonoran Desert around Tucson.
Outside, J. D. wrestled an alligator, a possum, and a fake Seminole Indian at the same time.
Priceless.
Toxic masculinity, except when Walz does it.
his Areon
Made by Hermin Maller, sourced from Amazon?
He gets a pass on the typos. He’s often writing up until publication time. I don’t see how he keeps this up, but he does. He’s only missed two weeks IIRC, and has more than made up for that with bonus episodes.
I never assume anything in SF’s works is a typo, just a minor detail I was unaware of.
I wish that were the case.
Nice try. Reality turns out to be even stranger. Like this classic that’s resurfaced
https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/barron-trump-is-using-the-new-fujifilm-instax-mini-90-as-he-news-photo/620364178
Sourced from a campaign donor.
China?
She’s getting agitated, someone better get in there and start sedating her with the box wine.
You gotta keep ’em
separatedsedated.“Eighty, eighty, eighty two days to go…” 🎶
Kamala hit him with a clipboard until he fell out of his Areon.
Needs more audience laugh track.
The audience went mad, and was last seen eating their own limbs.
The calm before the storm.
I have a hard time imagining Kamala calm like that.
She can’t take down a beast yet, but she can wait until the large predators leave to grab scraps for herself.
Hyenas will let lions make the kill then chase the lions away.
That only works until the male lion shows up to take it back.
There was a National Geographic show from back a ways. I remember it as the Lion/Hyena War, about a pride of lions and a pack of hyenas Not Getting Along At All. Great stuff – the hyenas would try to pick off cubs and lionesses, there were some really nasty scraps, etc. The hyena pack got a new alpha female and was starting to get the upper hand, until out of nowhere the lion alpha male (who hasn’t been around, until suddenly there he is) goes through them like a buzz saw. Starting with the hyena alpha female.
If memory serves. It’s been awhile. I wish I could remember the name – I’d love to watch it again.
I recall that wildlife show as well; seems there is nothing that motivates a male lion like hyenas, and a motivated male lion is truly a killing machine.
Imagine being between her and a bottle of wine.
he’ll be taking a long walk into some dark, cold woods.
Don’t forget the bacon cologne.
I don’t mind the scavengers, but I’d prefer not to attract the predators.
An old weak animal in the wild always attracts predators.
I don’t know, would it be worse to go quickly from a lion, or be chased down and played with by hyenas?
We recently acquired a cat, that escaped from the local rescue shelter and was living on our back deck. She moved in to the house with little drama and has been an exemplary house-guest.
I was shocked off the toilet yesterday morning to the sound of a screaming baby rabbit, being slowly tortured to death in our laundry room.
Blood and tufts of fur everywhere.
So I know which way I don’t want to go out.
“Anacostia bodega” is the perfect touch.
I do not envy you SF. There is so much to keep track of these days, having three vignettes was a good way to go.
And I have banked so many rants I need the Links this afternoon to be actual Links.
After Two Weeks With Kamala, Tim Walz Announces He Has Signed Back Up With National Guard And Requested Deployment To Iraq
https://babylonbee.com/news/after-two-weeks-with-kamala-tim-walz-announces-he-has-signed-back-up-with-national-guard-and-requested-deployment-to-iraq
Maybe he should join a mercenary company and deploy to Ukraine?
I really like how the Kamala character is coming along. And there’s some new artwork in the pipeline that I think everyone will enjoy.
This Kamala is a changeling and not the real thing.
A Kamala-cabra?
Kamala Kameleon.
Kama kama kamaleon.
I wanted to save it to debut on a proper Kamala episode.
The debut of President Harris?
Queen Kamala. First of her name.
“Yes, Madam President Elect, She Who is Popular and Inevitable.”
Smartest and most qualified candidate ever. Right under our noses, the whole time!
We just wasted 3 years not appreciating what we had as a VP.
And there’s some new artwork in the pipeline that I think everyone will enjoy.
Will looking at her directly turn me to stone?
You don’t want to look deeply into Kamala’s pipeline? Where’s your sense of adventure?
“Will looking at her directly turn me to stone?”
Will these euphemisms never end?
It will certainly not give you wood.
I’d rather shoot myself in the head before going into one.
That’s why they have to take our guns away.
Kamala needs a nice wine addiction to the point that she has stained purple lips that are consistent enough that they are a consideration when doing her makeup. She then can accuse her makeup artist of racism if they question the stains.
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/366761963401923492/
…the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning.
So, are you saying we need to watch her eyebrows?
You are assuming the training and intelligence of the mentat. Instead we are just seeing a boozy bimbo bullying her way through the white house.
More like an “Always Sunny” wine in the soda can appearance.
https://youtu.be/FGpKQVPhamI
“The DNC is out of autistic interns? I don’t believe it, I refuse to believe if believing it believes to believe it.”
I believe it.
I hate to have to stop and have lunch, with the Glibs having open mike comedy club..
Washington will never run out of autistic interns.
They will always be as thick as flies on shit.
Back in the day, the interns were thicc.
Bill Clinton liked this post.
An old weak animal in the wild always attracts predators.
Are we talking about Baltimore again?
I survived Philly.
This is one of those issues where I’m not sure if it matters who I believe or if I believe anything at all:
https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/germany-issues-arrest-warrant-ukrainian-diver-nord-stream-probe-media-report-2024-08-14/
They almost caught him! But Volodymyr Z got away!
Have they checked in the Ukrainian Presidential palace?
I don’t believe anything written in the MSM about that incident.
I think I accidentally deleted someone’s comment when I was working on dashboard. Sorry, but definitely not a rebuke or WordPress hiccup.
Looks like it was mine.
I couldn’t figure out how to resurrect it. I thought about asking WebDom, but we are all having to walk on eggshells around her nowadays.
I believe I recovered it.
Thanks. It wasn’t all that important a comment. But I appreciate the effort to restore it.
Every comment is sacred,
Every comment is great!
If a comment is wasted,
God gets quite irate!
I missed this when it happened.
Tucker, Kid Rock and John Daly. Ridiculously good.
fucking firewall . . . video unavailable.
https://translate.google.com/?sl=fi&tl=en&text=kamala&op=translate
Perfect
That’s incredible.
I thought about asking WebDom, but we are all having to walk on eggshells around her nowadays.
Is she pregnant?
No, her dog had a thousand puppies. And I was just joking. She’s a sweetheart.
*SugarFree flinches as WebDom walks by him*
Can you imagine miniature l0b0ts walking around? NIGHTMARE.
More than two and we will refer to them as the litter.
Ii++0r, please
Speaking of SugarFree works.
In addition to the Zuck’s perm and gold chains:
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/article/2024/aug/14/mark-zuckerberg-priscilla-chan-sculpture
My wife’s birthday is next week. Thanks for the idea!
What, you are going to give the gift of cringe?
Why is she wrapped in foil, anyway?
Pick a number, any number
Price hikes slowed more than expected in July, and, for the first time in more than three years, the Consumer Price Index has landed below 3%.
That paves the way for the Federal Reserve to cut rates next month after a yearslong battle with inflation that sent rates spiking to a 23-year high. America’s economy is showing signs of stress, and now that inflation appears under control, the Fed can reduce borrowing costs to try to get job growth booming again.
Consumer prices rose 2.9% for the 12 months ended in July, slowing from June’s 3% annual gain, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ latest CPI report released Wednesday.
Shovel more money into the boiler. Full steam ahead.
The target is 2% and the actual is 2.9% (and likely will be revised higher). That doesn’t qualify as under control.
Producer’s Note: “No authentic Seminole Indians were harmed in the filming of today’s episode.”
And the Italians all shed a single tear.
The target is 2% and the actual is 2.9% (and likely will be revised higher). That doesn’t qualify as under control.
Good enough for who it’s for.
“Almost 50% higher than we’d like” but close enough
I feel like this is the part of the musical where we have a quintet sung by all the main characters.
Each one sitting alone, looking out the window at the rain.
Just so.
You leave our possums alone!
Featuring the official t-shirt of Florida Libertarian Woman.
Tragic loss
Meta has been bombarded by academics, researchers, politicians and regulators about a tool called CrowdTangle, which most people probably haven’t heard of. It’s been used to investigate the spread of violence, political disinformation and false narratives on Facebook and Instagram.
On Wednesday, less than three months before the U.S. election, Meta is shutting CrowdTangle down.
“Against this backdrop, Meta decided to kill one of the best tools that civil society had to monitor and report on the hate speech and election interference that is almost certain to proliferate on its platforms,” said Brandi Geurkink, executive director of the Coalition for Independent Technology Research.
More than 50,000 people have signed letters and petitions urging Meta to halt its plans, or at least wait six months, according to the Mozilla Foundation.
Regulators, including the European Commission and a bipartisan group of U.S. senators and Congress members, say shuttering CrowdTangle now could be risky – given how useful it’s been to help researchers identify security threats and misinformation, especially around elections.
Oh, the humanity.
“You mean we’ll have to identify our sources? Even the ones we made up? This is like sooooooo unfair!!!”
If I were president, anyone who used the word “disinformation” seriously would have their tongue cut out.
“Help us, Mark Zuckerberg, you’re our only hope!”
It was as if 50,000 voices cried out.
“…Meta is shutting CrowdTangle down. Company executives agreed that CrowdTangle was a very stupid name, and on top of that it was missing a space between words.”
CamelCase is perfectly cromulent.
It’s the only way to carry camels around.
But wait. All is not lost.
A Meta spokeswoman declined to comment on CrowdTangle shutting down, but did point NPR to a blog post about a new tool called Meta Content Library. The company says the Content Library is more comprehensive and provides a better picture of what is happening on its platforms.
Nick Clegg, Meta’s president of global affairs told Axios that he hopes people will see the Content Library as “a very good-faith effort,” that could “lead to a flurry of new and interesting research.”
Meta requires researchers to apply to access the Content Library and they must be from “qualified academic or nonprofit institutions who are pursuing scientific or public interest research.” This access is far more limited than what Meta offered with CrowdTangle.
Access must be tightly controlled. We wouldn’t want anybody to rummage around in our data and arrive at conclusions we don’t approve of.
“Access must be tightly controlled. We wouldn’t want anybody to rummage around in our data and arrive at conclusions we don’t approve of.”
Said new VP of AI at Meta Michelle Mann
The knives come out.
Old news! Everybody already knew about this!
In my Rasmussen poll last night, most of the questions were about immigration followed by inflation/the economy. They snuck one odd ball in there…”How important is political corruption to you?”
“Since they ain’t paying me enough, I want them all strung up for their crimes!”
If I were president, anyone who used the word “disinformation” seriously would have their tongue cut out.
Add “civil society” to the list and you’ve got my vote.