19 cents

by | Sep 3, 2024 | Asset Forfeiture | 123 comments

In 1995, during my senior year of college, I worked full time graveyards at a gas station. Except for the lack of sleep and early classes part, it was ideal. I got to do homework and earn money at the same time. I also had a resignation date, which was after I graduated, so everybody knew I was only there for the school year.

#protip: Sleeping in a Honda CRX in the middle of a busy parking lot in the late morning is not for the faint of heart.

Anyway, my manager got transferred to a different store and his wife was transferred to my store. She hated me. I have no idea why. We barely saw each other, and I had given up two days off to cover for her night person at the store she transferred from.

One night, I went in and the swing shift dude said, “Tracy set the price wrong on one of the gas pumps and was in a hurry, so she didn’t change it, so we have to calculate the total by hand.”

No. I was studying English for a reason and that was because I didn’t have to do math, so I said, “No, I’m not doing that. If she’s too lazy to take another five minutes to change the pump, that is not my problem.” (Narrator: She really was that lazy.)

He shrugged and went home.

I noted that the premium pump had been set at 19 cents a gallon. I called my mom. “Come get gas. It’s 19 cents a gallon.” “Oh, shoot! I just got gas.” “Tell Uncle Bryon.”

My uncle Bryon, who was staying with us temporarily, practically burned rubber getting to my gas station. He said, “Is this for real?” “It is, indeed, for real.”

All night, people rolled up to the pump. As soon as they got out of their cars, I got on the intercom. “Please use the premium.”

They would be startled and look at me through the window, I would nod, they would look at the pump, look again, look at me again with wide eyes, I would nod again, and they would use the premium.

I ended up with a lot more business than usual that night, and one girl was so grateful she came in to pay just sobbing. She had ten bucks to last her for the week and she was prepared to put it all in her gas tank. Now she could eat.

Anyway, I turned my shift over to the morning assistant manager and went to school. When I went in that night, Tracy and her boss were waiting for me. It was an ambush. I was equal parts nervous and itching for a fight.

I can’t remember how the preamble went, but my grandboss demanded to know why I would sell gas at that price. I told him it was Tracy’s job to set the pump price, she didn’t want to fix her mistake before she rushed out, and I wasn’t going to do math.

“But so-and-so told you to.”

“You know what that’s called? Bait. And. Switch.Now I had his attention. “There is no way I was going to be party to that fraud. It’s not my problem. It’s Tracy’s problem because she couldn’t be bothered to fix it before she left. There was no malfunction. She just couldn’t be bothered.”

“Well — well — well, but, but … you didn’t have to tell everybody to use the premium! And I know that because you sold three times as much premium as usual!”

He couldn’t prove that I did, so I just stared at him.

I don’t remember how the niceties wrapped up, but I was allowed to go back to work.

And nothing else happened.

About The Author

Mrs. Dafuq

Mrs. Dafuq

Aspiring odalisque.

123 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    Yay.

  2. The Gunslinger

    I had a Honda CRX while going to college. Some days I would work in the morning, drive to campus and catch a quick nap in the CRX before class.

    I miss that car. I could drive that thing a long ways on $10 worth of gas back then.

    • Sensei

      Too bad.

      FedGov says you need one that is twice as heavy has 10 airbags and emits roughly 10% less pollutants with significant cost and complexity. And in constant dollars is probably 2x the price.

    • Tundra

      1984 CRX HF. Stick, crank windows and no ac. 55mpg. A nearly perfect car for a college kid.

    • R C Dean

      The CRX was a great car. I never had one, but one of my good friends did.

  3. Gustave Lytton

    I remember filling my Civic for $8 regularly.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    I, too, had a CRX. Excellent car, efficient package. Is there anything comparable now? Everybody apparently “needs” a crew cab pickup to drive to the grocery store and commute to work.

    • Pat

      Is there anything comparable now?

      Due to my current job, I get to encounter shit loads of Euroweenie models I’ve never heard of before. A Renault Sandero is probably fairly close.

      • Sensei

        Maybe some current production Japanese kei cars, but they’d be marginally slower do to the HP restrictions on the class.

      • Pat

        Also, the Sandero is Dacia. This is why international dealerships are a pain in the ass. 80 franchises represented under the same roof, in many cases.

  5. pistoffnick (370HSSV)

    I had a 1970 Oldsmobile Gutless Cutlass. Somebody had rear-ended it and pinched the gas filler tube (behind the license plate in those days). I always took it to the full serve because it took so long to fill up.

    • R C Dean

      I remember the gas caps behind the license plate. I guess that makes me officially old.

      • Bobarian LMD

        My first two cars were like that. ’67 Galaxie and a ’72 Mustang.

      • kinnath

        yup

  6. Pat

    She hated me. I have no idea why.

    I do. But I’ll be called a sexist if I say it.

    There is no way I was going to be party to that fraud. It’s not my problem. It’s Tracy’s problem because she couldn’t be bothered to fix it before she left. There was no malfunction. She just couldn’t be bothered.

    On the one hand, yes, completely understandable, particularly under the circumstances. On the other hand… I’m probably either too honest or too much of a sucker, but I’d probably have gone to the trouble, because I wouldn’t want to be the gas station owner who took it in the shorts because his wife’s a lazy bitch, and I can place myself in his shoes.

    In answer to the opening question? Depends. Because of my mom’s social anxiety, I started paying for gas as her liaison long before I could drive. If you mean since I started buying it myself? I think $1.19 a gallon shortly after I got my license.

    • The Other Kevin

      Changing the price manually would have introduced its own set of problems. As she said, “fraud”. Clearly it was an error, but there may have been legal issues trying to charge more than the marked price. At the very least, there were going to be a lot of arguments.

      • R C Dean

        “You know what that’s called? Bait. And. Switch.”

        Absolutely right. You post a price, you charge that price (or lower, I suppose). Period.

        Now, telling everybody to get premium was, perhaps, uncalled for.

      • Mojeaux

        Me? Doing something uncalled for?! Never!

    • Mojeaux

      It was a corporate store. I really wish I knew if she got in trouble or not.

      • Pat

        It was a corporate store.

        Little different in that case then. Being a heartless capitalist business major, I’d probably empathize with the corporate bean counter and report her to the regional director.

    • DrOtto

      Gas pump prices in most states are regulated extensively. In some states, you have to sell for X amount above cost. You can only change pump prices once a day at a specific time and the price on the pump must reflect what price is being charged. Good on Moj for calling out the lazy cunte not doing her job. As most 3rd shift gas station customers are regulars back when I did it (late 80s/early 90s), it was probably a good will advertising benefit to the station anyways in the long run.

      • Mojeaux

        I just REALLY didn’t want to do math.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    I can’t remember gas prices specifically. It think gas was around $.35/gal when I was in college. I could drive my MG Midget or the Mini for weeks on a couple bucks’ worth of gas.

  8. kinnath

    I remember the oil embargo. Fun times.

    I started buying gasoline shortly after that.

    • R C Dean

      Same here. I don’t recall specifically, but I know it was less than a dollar. I remember gas stations that had to put up a cardboard “1” on the sign when prices went over a dollar a gallon.

      • kinnath

        It spiked up over a buck during the embargo. That was truly an economic shock.

        Then it came down to 40 to 50 cents per gallon for a while before starting the long creep up to a buck again.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Early ’80s in SoCal, I clearly remember buying gas for $.85 and being able to get to school and back for a week on $5.

        That was the ’67 Galaxie, which got maybe 15 mpg on a good day.

        Last time I remember paying less than a dollar?

        Probably ’95 at the Ft Irwin main exchange gas station, which was $.50 cheaper than the next nearest place. The next nearest was the last stop out of Barstow going to Vegas and was always at least a quarter more than anywhere else in Barstow. Because gouging.

  9. The Other Kevin

    Awesome story. You and I are on the same timeline. I was supposed to graduate in 94 but I figured out I could get an additional 2-year degree in just 1.5 years because so many of the requirements overlapped. So I hold both a 4 year and a 2 year degree.

    I do remember gas being $.79 or $.89 just before 9/11. I drove a Grand Cherokee in those days and I would just hand the attendant a $20 and fill up. My kids still have a hard time believing that.

    • Sensei

      I was able to double major after I figured out a loophole with the using the same number of credits. Likewise because of all those credits I was able to get my master’s degree with 1.5 years as well.

    • Mojeaux

      If I were a normal person instead of an ADHD- and depression-addled rat, I should have graduated in 1990. It took me 9 years to get my degree and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. (Albeit I graduated with 160 credit hours.) Other than living at home for most of it, I paid for it myself, too.

      • rhywun

        I was such a basket case it was a huge relief that I managed to get a BA in 5 years. I changed my major three or four times and was kind of freaking out towards the end.

      • R.J.

        It’s like we are related or something. All the same issues here.

      • Fourscore

        14 years for me, Moj but I was part time some of the time and had some long breaks as well.

      • Gustave Lytton

        My first college class was Summer 94 and most recent was about 2015 or 16. I still don’t hold a degree.

      • Pat

        I had planned on graduating in 3 years, but took 3 and a half. Online uni with no semester breaks though, so I still feel like a putz for the extra 6 months. Realistically, I could have been in 2.5 if I put my nose to the grindstone. I was dealing with my dad becoming disabled, going broke, and having to navigate the Social Security system though, so I use that as an excuse. I was going to do a year with a consulting firm then go back for my MBA before the VA benefits from my deadbeat, long-estranged biological father ran out. 15 years on now, I’m fairly sure that’s not going to happen…

      • trshmnstr

        Graduating on time is for losers. 🤣

        I’ve never graduated in the prescribed period. Mostly because there are cool programs out there that are well worth the delay in graduation date.

        IMO, after interviewing dozens if not hundreds of entry level candidates, the non-traditional students are better candidates than the straight through K-whatever students. I’ll take somebody with a 3.2 and substantial experience working and living in the real world over somebody with a 4.0 and their butt still being wiped by mommy and daddy.

      • kinnath

        you would have loved my resume then

      • slumbrew

        IMO, after interviewing dozens if not hundreds of entry level candidates, the non-traditional students are better candidates than the straight through K-whatever students. I’ll take somebody with a 3.2 and substantial experience working and living in the real world over somebody with a 4.0 and their butt still being wiped by mommy and daddy.

        *5-year co-op schools wave “hi”*

        I remain slightly mystified that it’s not a more popular model. My co-ops were invaluable learning experiences. And they paid pretty well, too.

      • Muzzled Woodchipper

        I started college in the fall of 94 at 17yo. Had bad depression problems being away from home without a support system (also riddled with ADHD). That took a couple of years to truly recover from. Finished my AA in the spring of 96 at the local CC, and my BA in 2000.

        Started a MA in 2003, graduated in 2006.

        Started PhD in 2007, said “Fuck academia” in late 2009. Have watched the entire institution (particularly the Arts 1/2 of the College of Arts and Sciences) render itself irrelevant, yet still wielding a lot of power.

        I’m now in the process of helping my son choose a college. He’s aware that he will not have the same type of freedom I had to pursue whatever avenue of study he choses. There are hard limits. If he wants to take a class on something that interests him, cool, but overall his path of study needs to make sense financially.

        I’m also helping him navigate FIRE to gauge their level of speech fuckery. He’s applying to a small handful of schools, and I’m confident he’ll get into all 4. One is not a good place for free speech. I suspect one of the others is also not a good place. One is objectively better, but where they are good and not as good is an important distinction which overall tilts towards a pretty decent place. Not sure on the last.

        I’ve been fearing my sons going to college for several years. At least since 2016. Although it was never a perfect place, it was a completely different sort of atmosphere. Not until I was teaching and in graduate school did I ever get a whiff of censorship while I was in college. I never felt compelled to tow a particular lion, and don’t feel like I faced any fuckery due to not towing any particular lion. Not until I was excoriated for refusing to teach environmental wacko bullshit in a composition class, and instead chose to have them write about different forms of art. Then had my TA funding pulled the next semester. They refused to fund me at all during my PhD because I was a “problem” for them. That was 15 years ago now, and I left soon after. I saw the writing on the wall and knew there wasn’t a place for someone like me in academia. Just a few years later, woke culture had taken firm grasp of the entire institution of academia, and I’m glad I got out of that.

    • rhywun

      “I do remember gas being $.79 or $.89 just before 9/11.”

      😮

      I was going to say the same about 1986 or so. It was memorable because I was living in Germany and my mom told me from America how low the price had sunk while I was away.

    • Pat

      I got my license in December 2002. Anybody remember an event in March of 2003 that had a small effect on gasoline prices?

  10. Fourscore

    In the Spring of ’74 I fled NJ for TX. I was driving a ’69 Buick Electra with a 455 that drank premium. There were some independents that ran premium at 24.9. Oh, how I needed that! A couple times down to about 22.9. Then the embargo came along, I added a ’67 Mustang 6 and went from 12MPG to 24. Gas crept up to 50-60 cents a gallon and stayed in that range for a year or so as I remember.

    • Suthenboy

      Goddamit; Just typed out a lengthy, snarky comment and the squirrels ate it. I aint typing all of that again.
      It ended with – “Late Harris Administration citizen quote “I remember when you could get food.”

    • Timeloose

      Fourscore drove a Duce and a Quarter.

  11. Suthenboy

    Adjusted for inflation, $1.89 per gallon – 2019 under President Trump’s energy policies. Everything else was more affordable also. We have never had to sweat bullets about money but I remember the light as air feeling of true prosperity. It wasn’t so much how much money we had but how far it went.
    Everything the left has in store for us leads to grinding poverty. They truly are the party of evil.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The lower gas prices, on top of lower taxing, was noticeable. I saw more money left in my wallet.

    • Pat

      We have never had to sweat bullets about money but I remember the light as air feeling of true prosperity.

      Though I’m far from immune to bitching, and my possessions are anything but bougie, I’m unbelievably fortunate in that I have zero debt, own both a home and a functioning vehicle outright, both of which were purchased for cash, and my very modest income is at least twice my expenditures. Prosperity is in the eye of the beholder. That said, my Christian upbringing provides sufficient guilt for my material prosperity, such as it be; keep your tax tentacles out of it, please and thank you.

      • R C Dean

        We just have a mortgage but our monthly, which includes taxes and insurance, is about what you would pay for a nice-sh 2 bedroom apartment here in Tucson. For the life of me, I can’t really figure out why our expenses are what they are, but it’s nice to not have to worry about money day-to-day. I remember those days (they do leave a mark), which is why I went back to work after I retired the first time. We didn’t really need-need the money, but I was not comfortable (yet).

      • trshmnstr

        Prosperity is in the eye of the beholder.

        This. I sometimes have to take a step back and remind myself that our monthly budget is tight because we only see roughly 45% of our gross. We are prospering, but we’re keeping the belt tight for a reason. The rest is going into the house, retirement, the house, employer programs, the house, etc.

        Once we pay the house off (7 years and 5 months to go, not that I’m counting), the same income will feel luxurious. If I happen to get a raise or get any cash from my side gig, all the more so. Sometimes it’s hard for me to see the forest for the trees. I just see the monthly struggle to hit our numbers and ignore the fact that we’re living on a small portion of what we could have if we didn’t have such a long term focus. The lack of (non-mortgage) debt is awesome though. I’ll never finance a car or run up my credit cards again, if I can help it.

  12. The Bearded Hobbit

    I, too, worked as a pump jockey during high school and my first shot at college. We used to snicker at the folks who would come in and pay $0.34 per gallon for Chevron when they could go down the street and buy it for a nickel per gallon less.

    I was a closer at a station for a while. After shutting off the pumps I pushed my motorcycle to each of the twelve pumps and drained the hoses into my gas tank. I probably scrounged a gallon or so each night.

    While stationed in the Azores on-base gas was $0.175 per gallon (shortly after I got there it went up to $0.195). We watched lines of cars waiting for the pumps back home during the “energy crisis” and I remarked, “I think we just bought the cheapest gas in the free world.”

  13. Timeloose

    In HS I remember gas being well under $1.00 in the late 80’s. It increased greatly after Desert Storm due to the market uncertainty and the actual wells on fire in the gulf.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    In a world where campaigning is considered election interference…

    Former President Donald Trump said Sunday that he had “every right” to interfere with the 2020 election, even as two criminal cases involving those allegations hang over him. On Monday, Kamala Harris’ campaign charged that the comments were evidence that Trump believed he was “above the law.”

    In a Fox News interview that aired Sunday, Trump went on a long screed about the Justice Department and its treatment of him, charging he had been targeted. Trump marveled that the criminal charges did nothing but boost his poll numbers, because, he surmised, his supporters didn’t buy them in the first place.

    “Whoever heard you get indicted for interfering with a presidential election where you have every right to do it, you get indicted, and your poll numbers go up?” Trump said. “When people get indicted, your poll numbers go down. But it was such, such nonsense.”

    This whole election has devolved into empty gibberish.

      • R.J.

        Suthen found some kind of authentic frontier jibberish translation tool. I hope he uses it more often.

    • rhywun

      Thank God NBC is here to set the record straight.

    • R C Dean

      Trump’s handlers must be either heavily medicated, or tearing their hair out on a constant basis.

      Once again, I get what he means (how, exactly, does a candidate interfere in an election, again?). But geez . . .

    • Suthenboy

      Trump is indicted, his polls go up. He already had the election in the bag before that.
      I am supposed to believe that the Harris campaign, having only. empty platitudes and outright communist policy is going to beat him?
      I cant wait for the debate.

  15. WTF

    I think about 50 or 60 cents a gallon, back in 1976.
    And I love heartwarming stories like this.

  16. Timeloose

    In college I had a VW Golf. It got ~40 miles per gallon. It was a decent shit box, that got me where I wanted to go.

    Most of the 90’s gas was cheap. In TX I was shocked at how cheap it was, but it fluctuated daily due to the proximity so so much refining capacity.

  17. Fourscore

    As a kid in the ’40s I remember the corner station had a sign “5 gals for a buck”. As a 7-8 YO the play on words was hilarious. When gas was rationed it wasn’t the price so much as needing stamps. My dad was rationed 5 gallons a week. Many times he took the street car to work, walked several blocks on the distant end, to save gas for the weekend and family.

    A lot of people didn’t have cars, a lot of black marketing, in some grocery items as well.

    • Pat

      Whenever I get huffy about the current state of the union, a little historical perspective like that is a great reminder that even the quasi-Marxist candidate isn’t proposing anything quite as bad as the very mainstream, very real administrations as late as the 1970s.

      • rhywun

        Really? I don’t think anyone has tried to tax imaginary income yet. And don’t go by what little she says now. She is leftistier than any major candidate in history.

      • Mojeaux

        Notice taxes on unrealized gains don’t have a corresponding deduction on unrealized losses.

      • kinnath

        I have no idea what you are talking about.

      • Pat

        Fair enough, although that still remains an unrealized evil (ucwutididthar). Federal price controls were an actual thing a mere half century ago. It could technically be worse. I guess. Stop harshing my mellow.

      • R C Dean

        I thought the quasi-Marxist candidate was, in fact, proposing federal price controls.

  18. kinnath

    The first 16 credit hours took about 5 years. The last 111 credit hours took three calendar years (august to august).

    • R C Dean

      I feel like an outlier, getting my bachelor’s in four years and my JD in three by hitting my marks on credit hours every semester.

      At least I got stoned a lot. So I had that going for me.

      • kinnath

        I got married young and had two kids. I tried to go to school full time and work part time. That didn’t work. So, I tried school part time and work full time. That didn’t work either.

        Then the 80s said, “hey dude, let’s see how you survive without any job”.

        At that point, the wife and I signed up for school full time, took out the max for student loans, and worked part time.

        We made it work, because there wasn’t another option.

      • R C Dean

        I was lucky that I got a full ride as an undergrad*, and my parents were so glad I wasn’t in jail when I graduated from college that they covered the tab for law school. So I never had to try to work and go to school at the same time.

        *Pater Dean would have me sign up for student loans anyway, because the interest rate was subsidized and less than CDs were paying, so he actually wound up making money on me when I was in college. Probably figured he’d need it to bail me out of jail at some point.

      • kinnath

        Mine were self-inflicted injuries. I didn’t blame other people or expect to be bailed out.

        I also knew from day one that the major had to lead to a job that would cover raising a family and pay the loans.

      • Pat

        So I never had to try to work and go to school at the same time.

        Same, but only because of the aforementioned VA tuition reimbursement. To all of you honest, hardworking taxpayers, thank you very much. Because of your largesse, I have a credential utterly unrelated and inapplicable to either of my two wage jobs or my side business.

  19. Tundra

    I don’t get too worked up about gas prices. It’s still the cheapest part of vehicle ownership. I think the powers would rather have us bitching about gas prices and not ask any questions about the $50,000 average new car transaction or the insane increases in insurance.

  20. creech

    I remember the .$25 gas (excluding Dad’s Gulf employee discount) but then my Belair only got about 10 mpg. And six years to a degree because no one was in a hurry to go get shot at by commie brown folks.

  21. Not Adahn

    It was never cheap enough to fill up my Datsun 200SX for $5, but it almost was.

  22. Sensei

    I need a ruling from Neph on this.

    City of Columbus sues man after he discloses severity of ransomware attack

    https://arstechnica.com/security/2024/08/city-of-columbus-sues-man-after-he-discloses-severity-of-ransomware-attack/

    Columbus Mayor Andrew Ginther said on August 13 that a “breakthrough” in the city’s forensic investigation of the breach found that the sensitive files Rhysida obtained were either encrypted or corrupted, making them “unusable” to the thieves. Ginther went on to say the data’s lack of integrity was likely the reason the ransomware group had been unable to auction off the data.

    Shortly after Ginther made his remarks, security researcher David Leroy Ross contacted local news outlets and presented evidence that showed the data Rhysida published was fully intact and contained highly sensitive information regarding city employees and residents.

    • Pat

      the city’s forensic investigation of the breach found that the sensitive files Rhysida obtained were either encrypted or corrupted, making them “unusable” to the thieves.

      Even if true, it’s the equivalent of stealing a locked safe. Just because the lock is very good, doesn’t mean it won’t be breached eventually. At best this buys time for the victims to take steps to mitigate their risk, and the city is instead downplaying the issue as if the victims have nothing over which to be concerned.

      David Leroy Ross contacted local news outlets and presented evidence that showed the data Rhysida published was fully intact and contained highly sensitive information

      Imagine if the Nixon administration, instead of succumbing to a well-deserved pang of shame, had sued Woodward, Bernstein, and the Washington Post for disclosing secret information.

    • R C Dean

      I guess having corrupted data is a form of infosec. Boasting about it seems a little odd, though.

    • Nephilium

      Researcher did nothing wrong in my mind. The information was already publicly available (if difficult for a non-techie to find).

      I have a feeling the city was covering their asses, or their backups were corrupted, and they never tested/validated them.

  23. hoof_in_mouth

    In ’98 or ’99 there was a very brief moment of time when gas dropped and I paid $.59 per gallon. I remember filling up my ’96 Chevy Lumina and saying out loud to whomever was next to me that gas would never be this cheap again, and it may be the only thing in my life I have ever been right about. In the early 90’s when I was in high school with a much thirstier ’77 Impala gas was always in $.99-$1.25 range and I made $3.25 per hour, so I earned about 2.5 gallons per hour and my car took twice that to drive.

    • Fourscore

      In ’55 gas was .30 a gal, I earned about 6 gallons per hour but that was a man size job.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    She is leftistier than any major candidate in history.

    Biden out-Bernied Bernie as soon as he was sworn in. I can’t wait to see what idiocy Harris gets up to.

    • Suthenboy

      OFFS, her father was a marxist economics professor. Apples, trees, all that.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    even the quasi-Marxist candidate isn’t proposing anything quite as bad as the very mainstream, very real administrations as late as the 1970s.

    Richard M Nixon, father of Modern Monetary Theory.

    • Suthenboy

      Quasi, my ass.

  26. trshmnstr

    Roughly $1.00 when I was a kid in the early 90s. I remember being amazed by the $0.95 gas in Florida in 1998. By the time I started driving (2004), it was pushing $2/gallon. I remember $20 not quite filling the tank on my ’92 Taurus, but it’d get me to my next payday. I distinctly remember easing my way up to $20 exactly because I didn’t have the extra penny or two to cover an overage.

    • R C Dean

      I also would bump up the counter on the gas pump until it was an even number for exactly the same reason.

      I also recall scrounging change in the car to see how much gas I could afford. Of course, that was back when finding some quarters meant another gallon.

  27. Evan from Evansville

    Got my first car in ’03 when I was 16. 1992 Oldsmobile Achieva, $1800. My own money, though parents picked up insurance. That car didn’t last too long. (I won’t mention why now. It wasn’t an accident and only half my fault.) Up next was a ’94 Mercury Sable. Maroonish. Fuck, I loved that V6 beast. Was a piece of shit, but it was MY piece of shit. It also wasn’t, just looked it. Lasted nearly 4 years. Drove it away from the shop w thick, smokey exhaust. Finally parked it. Properly. IU police showed up when me and accomplice were ripping bits off it. Showed ’em my license ‘n registration and told ’em why I was doing it. Sheepishly, they told me to cut it out. The Psych Dept next door had called in “the disturbance.”

    First tank was $1.49.

    • Pat

      As my 16th birthday approached, my dad told me I could have the $1,700 for the ’88 inline 6 Jeep Cherokee 2 door our neighbor was selling that I’d had my eye on, or the $1,650 Angel Force 4 paintball gun I’d had my eye on, but not both. I opted for the Force 4. I still have it. And after modification by the last Angel master tech still in operation before the company went tits up, it’s now equipped with a set 1 of 50 limited edition paint detection eyes that I developed, with an orange emitter color that matches the original 1 of 50 custom anodizing. I assume the Cherokee blew up at least 10 years ago. So who’s the idiot now?

    • Evan from Evansville

      *Looks at Pat’s 16-year-old decision, walks backwards through hedges*

      We are different people. But most importantly, remember those cheap me-ups you could get ‘back when?’ I outwardly proclaim Cash for Clunker anti-poor fuckery to anyone ’round when situation arises. Combined with benefits for rich folk for EVs? Damn. Way to puke out the Quiet Part. My ’13 Chevy Malibu was about the best we could get for something basic but when some years left. $7900 but I just found out some warranty+ extra was added by ‘rents. Apparently ’round $12k.

      No car for you, Poor People. Get in line with ticket. Go from pre-ordained place A to B. Expect schedule fluctuation. Say thank you!

  28. Evan from Evansville

    That is a fantastic story, Mo. Well-written, added with a sense of personal satisfaction *I* feel reading it. (Well done.)

    I don’t really have a ‘re-raise the bullshit opposition’ moment in my life, IIRC. I strongly wish to. Hrm. (Note to self: “Self, don’t re-raise sans thought.”)

    • Mojeaux

      Thanks. Believe it or not, essay is my favorite format.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Me too. My ideas spread too quickly. Like me as a child (only then?), they need to be kept on a tight leash, and essays nicely fit the bill. I’ve got to be careful they don’t become too AP-style, but focus and clarity are (usually) my mail goals.

  29. CatchTheCarp

    I bought my first car in Nov 1975 when I was a senior in HS – a blue 1968 Chevelle SS 396 4 spd. The seller was asking $850 but all I had was $725. He took off the wide Cragar SS wheels/tires on the rear and put on a pair of worn out snow tires and sold it to me for $725. I think gas was 60 – 65 cents a gallon then. The early 80’s is when I remember the price of gas costing more than a buck a gallon – that was a shocker.

    • kinnath

      My first car was a 69 Camaro. I bought it in 75.

      • kinnath

        350 with 3 on the floor.

    • The Other Kevin

      There’s really only 2 reasons they’d keep something like this secret. This reason, and “My FBI handlers told me to do it.”

  30. kinnath

    I remember when the gas pumps only had two digits for the price. I can’t remember how they handled it the first time prices when over a buck.

    • Nephilium

      I remember in my childhood, there was a Disney movie/show which had a modern kid go back in time (for some reason, I don’t recall). He was helping at a gas station, and painted a 1 in front of the price per gallon price on the sign, causing everyone to bypass that station and the owner to ask why the hell would he try to charge that much for gas.

    • rhywun

      I vaguely remember ad-hoc “1” stickers now that you mention it.

      • kinnath

        Those were mechanical systems. The price display had its set of numbered wheels. And the current sale had its own set of numbered wheels.

        So the pumps would not have been capable of computing the price above 0.999 per gallon. I think they had to do math after the sale to add in the dollar for all the gas that was pumped.

  31. Drake

    The real tragedy of the George Floyd OD? 4 (not 2) years ago the prices were at least $1 a gallon less than now.
    https://i.imgflip.com/6i4dgm.jpg

    • Suthenboy

      Which was still too high.

    • Evan from Evansville

      “This price on society is TOO DAMN HIGH!”

  32. bacon-magic

    I remember $.76 a gallon.

    • Muzzled Woodchipper

      I remember $.94/gallon near Orlando in early 1998. It was .$99 at home in Miami.

      I’m sure I’ve SEEN lower prices than that, because these prices from what I remember are from when I was already 21, but I just don’t remember them.

      • bacon-magic

        I started paying attention to gas when I got my first car in 1989.

  33. Muzzled Woodchipper

    So after having watched the most recent Chris Williamson episode with Eric Weinstein, I’m pretty black pilled when it comes to this election. I think he’s right.

    Donald Trump will not be allowed to become president. Last time was a monumental mistake, and it won’t happen again.

    The election has already been rigged when they transplanted Kamala in and ushered Biden out without so much as a single primary vote. They don’t think she can win, but what she can do is make it close enough to fortify. Again.

    • kinnath

      The fraud will be blatant. And nothing else will happen.

      • The Other Kevin

        I’ve seen at least two people, Garland and someone from Michigan, warning that not certifying the election, or questioning the results, will land your ass in jail.

    • Drake

      Sure. For a while I thought they might let Trump win and just ignore him again for 4 years. Then JD Vance, RFK, and Elon happened. Now they’d sooner kill him.

      They’re already having trouble getting people to believe the fake polls. Every time Harris speaks, people realize she’s a moron. It’s going to get ugly.

      • Suthenboy

        The inevitable result of too much money and power concentrated with near zero accountability for incompetence and those with their claws into power unwilling to relinquish that power until their dying breath.
        This is some mess we have gotten ourselves into.

    • hoof_in_mouth

      He will be sentenced and sent to prison for the NY conviction and that is everything they need to provide cover for it.

      • Sean

        He will be sentenced and sent to prison

        I have a very hard time believing that.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Donald Trump will not be allowed to become president. Last time was a monumental mistake, and it won’t happen again.

    I hate to say it, but that’s pretty much the conclusion I have come to. By hook or by crook.

    Everywhere you look, it’s an uninterrupted stream of gaslighting fabrications about how horrible Trump was then and how he’ll be ten times worse next time if we don’t rescue democracy from his Nazi depredations.

    • Evan from Evansville

      I am mostly with you. I legit do fear Blue riots if Trump wins, and I’m nearing a ‘J6 event that’s actually worrying’ if Harris wins DESPITE the bullshit.

      Anti-Harris folk may not be able to swallow her coronation. (China’ll join the cackle.) I think the nation will begrudgingly take it, though I’m not sure how long the charade can even be agreed to fake along.

      Needn’t be a curse, but prescience: We truly live in Interesting Times. (Every generation faces theirs. 9/11 was my first. Curious sequel in production.)

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Every time Harris speaks, people realize she’s a moron.

    And yet, the establishment media is nothing but gushing praise for her wisdom and perceptive understanding of the common man.

  36. Richard

    What a great story. Thank you for taking the time to type it up.