“Thanks for inviting me,” Dick said, pushing his way past two twink secretaries into the endless white of Kamala’s campaign office.
“Welcome, Mr. Vice President,” Kamala said, stepping on her disgust with hobnailed boots.
“Madam Vice President!” Dick said, grabbing her hand before she could pull away, pumping away at it like the handle of a well. “Damn glad to be here, damn glad!”
“Thank you so much for your endorsement, Mr. Vice President,” Kamala said.
“Dick! Call me, Dick! We’re all Vice Presidents here, darlin.” Dick gave her his best crooked aw-shucks smile while thinking how nice she would look with a faceful of birdshot.
“Stepmommy!” Ella trilled and cat-walked into the office, hair in Bantu knots, twirling to show off. “Do you like my new outfit?” She had cut armholes and a neck into a blue tarp, and not a clean one. When she spun, it was obvious she wasn’t wearing any underwear, revealing a dark thatch of mangy black pubic hair the size of a bicycle seat.
“What the goddamn fuck is that?!?” Dick said, stumbling backwards into a near-invisible white wall.
“This is my step-daughter,” Kamala said dryly.
“I’m Ella!” she said, pouncing on that elderly Dick. He recoiled, and began twisting dials on his chest plate.
“Sorry, uh, ladies, just a little heart attack,” Dick said. “Don’t worry, I have three or four of them a day.”
Ella’s face clouded. “I’ll have you know that I’m thar/thou this week, sir.”
“Of course, of course, my dear. I have a daughter that’s a les/bian you know.”
“We’re not supposed to say lesbian in the office, Dick,” Kamala said, rolling the name around in her mouth a bit.
“It’s offensive,” Ella said. “You don’t want to be offensive, would you, Uncle Dick?” As she stepped in, the smell overwhelmed him and he staggered again.
“Lesbian is offensive now?” Dick asked, trying to restart his heart.
“EVERYTHING IS OFFENSIVE NOW!” Kamala screamed as she sat down.
“I just don’t want Trump to win,” Dick gasped. “Liz wants to eventually run on the Democratic ticket.”
“Of course she does,” Kamala said. Ella moved closer to Dick, in his face, capering.
“Please,” Dick said, “Please, call her off. She smells like death.”
“Hey!” Ella exclaimed. “This is my signature scent series. I call it… ‘Roadkill.’” She swept her hand in a grand arc. “This one is called “‘Burst Raccoon.’”
“Dammit, three in a row,” Dick gasped, twisting even more dials on his chest, desperate. “I’ve got to get out of this fucking madhouse.”
As he shuffled out of the room, Kamala called after him, “Thanks again for the endorsement!”
“Politics sure does make for some strange bedfellows,” Tim said quietly.
“Shut the fuck up!” Kamala screamed. “Go to your corner!”
brilliant
This will be the only bright spot in the truly fucked up world that will result from Harris winning.
Nope. SF will be sent to a reeducation camp under the new misinformation laws.
I hope I’m wrong, but I don’t see this site lasting a year if she wins.
TOK:
“Will no one help the SMITH’s son?”
Don’t worry. She has plans for us.
I didnt see any misinformation in there.
At least we will all be concentrated together.
“I’ve got to get out of this fucking madhouse.”
No way out. No way out.
Your in it now Dick.
I am not even done reading. And I love it so much.
I might be done eating.
Dick,” Kamala said, rolling the name around in her mouth a bit.
This was noted and appreciated.
There are a few of those little nuggets in there.
Two of them anyway.
I lolsnorted at:
“Dick gave her his best crooked aw-shucks smile while thinking how nice she would look with a faceful of birdshot.”
“dark thatch of mangy black pubic hair the size of a bicycle seat”
Think I’ll skip lunch and dinner today
Thanks, SF,
/Quickly adjusts dial on the pacemaker
Also my favorite line.
BECAUSE IT’S TRUE!
“Dick,” Kamala said, rolling the name around in her mouth a bit.”
Heh.
Did anyone see the whole debate?
I did, reluctantly. Watched it with WebDom and l0b0t. I was going to leave early, but WebDom volunteered, “It’s almost over.” The last ten minutes were an eternity.
As much as I thought Trump was a moron before this, my esteem for him has managed to sink even lower.
Yeah, there are at least 20 Glibs who could have a done a better job debating Harris. I thought Magic Tulsi was going to have him prepared?
I can only assume copious alcohol was involved to make it through.
From what I gleaned Harris did much better than anticipated.
Harris did much better than anticipated
She was a shrill, grating bitch.
But she was mostly coherent and there was little word salad spewing forth.
All her answers were canned talking points, but she spit them out well enough to not come across as a drunken, cackling hyena.
Trump was Trump at his worst.
Thus, there will not OMG talking points in the press about her, and they can focus on bad the bad orange man is.
Not copious (I have an early morning class to teach) but alcohol nonetheless. Fine little number from Weis Vineyards.
Did anyone see the whole debate?
I watched the whole thing. Don’t ask me why. Pretty much what I expected. Trump stream of consciousness rambling, Harris scripted pontifications and utterly empty sloganeering. The “moderators” won.
Man, I was wondering what the demographics of people who can still sit through those are.
Both candidates are such bad speakers.
I’m in that demographic, but only if I’m watching someone else live stream it. Takes the edge off.
It is somehow really painful for me to watch. I have to leave the room.
I couldn’t watch it. I was super busy, and managed to become even busier during the debate. It was a good avoidance tactic.
Yeah, I went to bed before it started too
My wife decided to watch it, so I saw half of it last night and heard the rest this morning from the other room. I’m still voting for Trump, but man I wish there was a different candidate.
Is your wife voting for Kamala?
I kept thinking that Vivik, Vance, Tulsi, or RFK would have done a lot better. Hell even I had better answers to pretty much every question, as would just about every Glib.
So, did either of them win?
From the snippets I saw, I felt Trump could have done better. Also, he’s starting to look his age, which may hurt him after what we just went through with Biden.
One thing I noticed is that Harris is quick to take credit for things from the current administration, but equally quick to say that she’s no Joe Biden when it’s convenient to run away from bad outcomes.
They shouldn’t have let her get away with that.
Probably Kamala won.
How important it is remains to be seen.
“Is your wife voting for Kamala?”
Hell no. She grew up in a communist country, so she sees what’s going on and doesn’t like it one bit.
Re age. YouTube ad for DJT fundraising. Closeup is not doing him any favors. His right eye looks like a stroke victim.
“Probably Kamala won.”
What counts as winning, anyway?
“The “moderators” won.”
They didn’t seem as openly biased as usual.
Did you watch the same debate as I did? I only lasted 20 minutes, and after the first back and forth the bias was blatant.
Basically it was “defend your position” to Trump, “explain your position” to Harris.
They both did terribly with those.
You really captured the essence of the stepdaughter.
🤢
Ella and Finnegan need to meet in an upcoming episode. I smell romance……or is that the gas station tuna sandwich the person in the office next to me is having?
GAAAH!
I forgot it was Wednesday and absentmindedly clicked Next Entry, the picture startled me.
The story was amazing.
She’s so purty.
She’s straight out of Zoolander 2.
https://hollywoodlife.com/pics/ella-emhoff-photos-pics/ella-emhoff-3
I think the guy she is posing with in one picture models for these folks.
https://avavav.com/nam/category/shop/man
Believe it or not, this is way better stuff than they used to sell.
The used to sell thigh high versions of those finger boots.
I do not understand fashion.
Neither do they. All I can say is Zoolander 2 was years ahead of reality.
Just got a call from the old acquaintance who wants me to take a leadership role in starting a local New Tea Party. I passed on the “opportunity” but did elicit comments on the sudden urgency. He said he loves Trump but Trump flopped in the debate, exposed his age and own forgetfulness combined with stupid blustering. Wishes now the candidate should have been DeSantis.
They didn’t seem as openly biased as usual.
Seriously? They seemed pretty openly biased to me.
#metoo
They never fact checked Harris when she blatantly lied, but did with OMB. They left the mikes on when it would be the most embarrassing. They never pushed Harris when she avoided answering a question but did so with Trump.
Not that this made any difference since he was so dreadfully bad.
I didn’t watch more than a few minutes, so it’s possible I just missed that, or maybe I’m just habituated to it now.
OT – Enjoy!
Meeting the Guardians of Honda’s First Winning F1 Car
https://www.thedrive.com/news/meeting-the-guardians-of-hondas-first-winning-f1-car
I was at a Mercedes AMG event day where he was the guest race driver and keynote speaker.. Nice guy.
“He recoiled, and began twisting dials on his chest plate.”
Reading something well written is a visual experience. Bravo.
I’m imagining the Darth Vader chest plate grafted to his sternum.
Huh, he didn’t invite gun owner Kamala to go duck hunting? I’ll be.
They seem to think having Kamala say she owns a gun will somehow mollify gun owners. Of course she owns one, the issue is she believes only she and her ilk should have them, while the peasants must go unarmed.
Just like Diane Feinstein. All in for gun grabbing.
And Kamala has SS protection now and for life if she wins, also unlike the peasants.
I really hope it was a gift from Willie Brown. I also hope it was engraved with some really trashy statement about his member, like;
“something to member me ”
“From Willie Bank and Thrust… member FXXK”
“Of course she owns one”
I doubt that very seriously. If she does, she hasn’t touched in years, and probably doesn’t even know where it is.
Dick gave her his best crooked aw-shucks smile while thinking how nice she would look with a faceful of birdshot.
I couldn’t help thinking the same thing last night as they showed her smirking bitchface reactions to Trump. Definitely not someone accustomed to being disagreed with. Those cabinet meetings will be fun.
Dick gave her his best crooked aw-shucks smile while thinking how nice she would look with a faceful of birdshot.
My first of many actual laugh out loud instances.
This was fantastic.
Sensei- thanks for that.
90 cubic inch V12- sweet. I had forgotten the motor was mounted tranversely in that car.
Also perfect prebankruptcy GM.
https://www.theautopian.com/why-is-this-crap-but-amazing-pontiac-in-the-uk/
I actually would have it just for its kitsch value.
He’s funny.
And the the three pedal GTI is dead next year.
https://arstechnica.com/cars/2024/09/the-2024-vw-golf-gti-is-the-last-of-its-kind-with-a-manual-transmission/
I worry that there won’t be a tech at the dealer that can drive my Z when it take it in for service.
Fortunately, there are still a few old guys around.
Honestly, the DSG is a joy to drive.
Bummer.
I know the autos are “better” but manuals are still better.
Well… I made it through this episode without regurgitating my lunch. Based on the musings of the commentariat, I don’t think I’d have made it through without multiple trips to the porcelain god. Debate 1, SF 0? Time to up your game, son.
I had a work function this morning so I had to pre-write this one.
But, honestly, how can a make the debate more ridiculous than it already was?
Jump to the 6 minute mark to hear what Liz Cheney used to think about Kamala – in the before times.
https://rumble.com/v5eie61-resurfaced-clip-that-kamala-harris-and-liz-cheney-may-regret.html
its different now….for reasons….that are different.
He recoiled, and began twisting dials on his chest plate.
I love this so much. Bravo, SF.
Wishes now the candidate should have been DeSantis.
I don’t get the love for Desantis.
It really doesn’t matter. The Republicans are fucked no matter what. They puked up mild mannered technocrat Mitt Romney and the press turned him into a fire breathing libertarian who was going to dismantle the nanny state and undo Obama’s Great Works. Donald trump, ’90s Clinton Democrat, is the greatest threat to the White House since the War of 1812. Vance is some sort of Nazi rape camp commandant.
And on and on.
Of course DeSantis would be worse than Hitler, but he seems to be able to combat the media BS without Trump’s bluster that turns off a lot of people, including me. He also has experience in government so would be more likely to accomplish some things.
I get the sentiment on the government experience but Trump was president for four years and he’s been mugged by the reality of the situation ever since 2016.
McCain is Blessed St McCain now that he’s dead and opposed Trump out of spite.
I always wish it was Rand Paul with VP Thomas Massie (I know, same state).
Being an advocate for personal responsibility is hate speech. They’d crucify both of those guys.
“Why do you hate stupid, destructive people who make bad decisions, you bigot?”
Fuck Creech’s dipshit friends. The problem all along has been expecting that there some sort of Queensberry rules that the left will honor to give an even playing field. Part of the reason Trump won in 2016 was he called a spade a spade and got under his opponent’s skin (“Crooked Hillary”) with accurate jabs.
Toning that down is exactly the wrong approach. Turn it to 11. The Left started the fire, they don’t get to play tag no touchbacks unless the Republicans let them. Which the RepE is happy to do as long as they can still mail out fundraising letters.
Four years and those fuckers only impeached Mayorkas, which Schumer dismissed without even holding a vote (fuck you Turtle for not doing the same). Johnson should have Schumer arrested by the House Sergeant at Arms for failing to carry out his duties.
Fuck the civility, it will only end when Republicans embrace the Chicago way. After they win, then they can imitate Cincinnatus.
It’ll never end then because the mainstream Republicans like Johnson are the Washington Generals of politics and are just playing a role in a game.
But, muh soccer mom swing voters!
Kabuki politics.
This. Trump as slightly more crotchety than average generic GOP candidate isn’t compelling. Trump as molotov cocktail to the elites is much more compelling. I don’t think he has it anymore, though. The fire is turned down, but the blathering and ADD is still there, making him sound meandering rather than frenetic.
I think the “love” is just a reflection of the likely fact that he could have handled Harris without being all Trump-y.
Long live Sugar-Free!
I just remind myself that none of this matters unless government spending is brought under control, because unless it is, the currency, the economy, and the society are going to augur in.
And nobody, but nobody, on the national stage can make that happen.
And the sad part is people like Massie are starting to just throw up their hands. At least, hopefully his little speech was just a bit of bluster and not a sign of defeat.
That’s why I don’t pay it any mind; all this election is going to do is modify the death of the U.S. government slightly.
Its calculus, just change the rate of degradation, d doom/d t
I mostly agree, but disagree on one point. There are many different ways this can go down, and some of them will suck much more than others. Trump at the helm is less of a threat to my near term financial goals than Harris at the helm. The crash is gonna hurt no matter what, but the way we crash can be more or less painful.
Who’s TIm?
Tim Walz, Kamala’s Vice Presidential candidate. It’s easy to forget he even exists.
tampon timmy
Who?
Who’s TIm?
Walz. Rhymes with balls.
The debates are now just propaganda shows. As Scott Adams says, if you don’t like the question asked, just answer a question you wished they asked.
I might have a rose colored recollection of the past, but the Reagan debates against Carter and Mondale seemed to be at such a higher intellectual level. It was also a flawless victory for Reagan.
https://youtu.be/MPCclavlz9Q
There he goes again
I might have a rose colored recollection of the past, but the Reagan debates against Carter and Mondale seemed to be at such a higher intellectual level. It was also a flawless victory for Reagan.
The candidates were actually expected to provide substantive answers to serious questions.
It really is jarring to watch that. Last night’s debate might as well have been moderated by Maury Povich.
Next election will be Morton Downey Jr. format.
It wasn’t?
So, VW called me up and asked to swap me into a different loaner car, as my GTI is awaiting a part that is on intergalactic back order.
I expected to be moved into a lower grade/older model from the 2021 Tiguan they had me in. Nope, they put me into a 2024 Tiguan with less than 1k miles.
*shrug*
Nope, they put me into a 2024 Tiguan with less than 1k miles.
Here comes the “special offer”. Why would you want to hang onto that derelict old Rabbit when you could surround yourself with luxurious techno-wizardry?
What part are you waiting on? Evidently something which renders it undriveable.
Condenser part? Or something connected to it. AC system had a leak.
They said they could put it back together and let me drive it, or leave me in the loaner. Costs me nothing either way.
My Jeep is still nicer, but I’ll roll around in a brand new loaner just for fun.
Sigh… If it IS the condenser they normally put dye in the system and/or visually find the damage.
It’s rare that the car would be ripped apart before the part(s) ordered. Not saying it can’t be found that way, but it’s not normal practice.
They added dye.
Found a leak, fixed it. Found a second leak at that time. That second leak part is on intergalactic back order.
Supposedly the second one was harder to see. I give them credit for trying to do the job right the first time. They could have called it “fixed” and sent me on my way again.
That makes sense.
Why is Trump obsessed with Kamala’s blackness when nobody else in America pays it the slightest heed?
To highlight how fake she is?
But yeah, that is not an argument he’s going to win in front of a national audience.
ABC’s crack fact checkers missed a few on gun toting, fracking loving Kamala.
https://x.com/TheRabbitHole84/status/1833896660847747311
https://x.com/KamalaHarris/status/1669410192650321947
I think X will have a bigger impact on voters than last nights joint press conference.
Everyone in my town is all aboard the Green New Deal train and at the same time bitching how expensive the cost of living is.
I… just can’t imagine living with a brain that damaged.
Don’t look at cause and effect, just demand what you want… it’ll eventually happen, right?
https://nypost.com/2024/09/11/lifestyle/jogger-left-bloodied-dazed-and-crying-after-getting-mauled-by-a-gang-of-otters/
More gang violence.
That lady otter have better situational awareness.
Those little bastards are fast and vicious and have really sharp teeth. I wouldn’t want to get on their bad side.
Chaos in Aurora
I’m sure this is happening everywhere.
If Trump wins, it’s because this kind of shit pisses off so many people that the dems can’t cover it up with phantom votes in a few friendly districts.
Probably not everywhere but most definitely not just Aurora.
Vote for Harris for more of this, America.
Condenser part?
If it’s the condenser core itself, as in tubes and fins part, that’s a remove and replace. I wonder why it’s so hard to get. It’s not as if a/c is an exotic option.
And it’s not an uncommon car. Service advisor was a bit baffled too.
Supply chains are still fucked up. A guy I know makes control units for industrial machines and it’s shocking how many common parts have wild lead times.
we have conducted an exclusive investigation, which leads to a troubling conclusion: the Biden administration, in partnership with Denver authorities and publicly subsidized NGOs, provided the funding and logistics to place a large number of Venezuelan migrants in Aurora, creating a magnet for crime and gangs. And, worse, some of the nonprofits involved appear to be profiting handsomely from the situation.
[insert expostulation of shocked disbelief]
I think one of the best things we could do to fix things in this country is a War on NGOs.
“This one is called “‘Burst Raccoon.’”
That put the tin hat on it for me.
I think one of the best things we could do to fix things in this country is a War on NGOs.
*dashes off check to Tundra’s subscription dept*
I think X will have a bigger impact on voters than last nights joint press conference.
But how much crossover is there? Are people who were already convinced, one way or another, going to see contradictory evidence?
* not on Xwixxer, don’t know how it works