Monday Morning Oatmeal Cookie Links

by | Sep 30, 2024 | Daily Links, Food & Drink, Recipes, WebDom’s Browser History | 253 comments

Recently your editorial staff got into a heated debate about oatmeal cookies. Many of the staff are members of the Chocolate Chip Brigade. Psht. I mean…really. Can you imagine?

We’re talking about the kind of people who pick up an oatmeal raisin cookie at a potluck and feel violated because it’s not oatmeal chocolate chip. I don’t know what planet they came here from, but it’s certainly not one I’d ever like to visit. Their taste buds clearly can’t be trusted. I’m not one to cast aspersions, but this is the kind of nonsense those people would also get up to.

l0b0t and I are proud members of Team Raisin, as was SP, God rest her soul. The perfect oatmeal cookies — and SP’s were perfect — include a hefty amount of salt and butter, a good dash of cinnamon, and more plumped raisins than you can shake your fist at.

Not just any raisins will do. They must be plumped raisins so when you bite into them they’re sweet and gooey. If you handed SP an oatmeal raisin cookie without plumped raisins she would tear your baking skills to shreds in that very kind and loving way of hers that made you beg for more criticism.

Where the oatmeal raisin cookie originated is a mystery lost to the sands of time. The oatmeal cookie was first seen in a Fannie Farmer cookbook in 1896: The Boston Cooking School Cookbook. But this recipe did not call for raisins.

The recipe on the back of Quaker Oats starting in the early 1900s included raisins. My best guess is someone at the Quaker Oats company used raisins at home, and their recipe made the cut for the packaging.

Since chocolate chips didn’t appear on the baking scene until 1938, we can only presume that oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are a modernist abomination.

I can confidently say (because SP was always right about everything) l0b0t and I are profoundly correct in our correctness, and we will not be entertaining any dissenting opinions.

Oh, wait, did I just suddenly swing left?

We have a lot of birthdays today. The ones that I picked mostly at random: Pope Nicolas IV, Jean Perrin, Buddy Rich, Mark Bolan, and Ben Lovett, who definitely looks like an oatmeal chocolate chip kinda dude.

On this day St. Jerome, who famously translated the Bible from Greek to Latin, died in 420. Francis Borgia died in 1572. Francis was the great-grandson of that Borgia Pope. The one who, among other things, let his illegitimate 12-year-old daughter Lucrezia be wed to a bloody Sforza, only to annul it later. The Sforzas, incidentally, are largely responsible for the proliferation of tarot cards, even though their deck from the mid-15th century was a card game. Also died on this day is John Billington, a traveler on the Mayflower, and the first man executed on American soil in 1630.

In The News…

Remember I’m behind most of y’all on my news intake, so you’ve probably seen most of these.

Cop learns not to take gun near MRI

Big ass chemical fire outside Atlanta

Why are people so obsessed with the pumpkin spice latte?

This dude asked AI to make cozy coffee drink recipes with mixed results

Nova documentary not allowed to call Hamas terrorists in the BBC airing

John Ashton died

The 20 best American food items, according to CNN

Speaking of food, here’s a recipe for gorgonzola leek risotto

And apparently raisin cookies, sans oatmeal, are a thing

How much it’ll cost to make an American made toaster

Babylon Bee wins again

And last but not least, memes!

For some music this morning: I’ve recently become a fan of The Longest Johns.

About The Author

WebDom

WebDom

WebDom grows Peyote buttons in the vast desert of her mind.

253 Comments

  1. AlexinCT

    Oatmeal raisin cookies are food of the gods..

    Come at me brah!

    • SDF-7

      I honestly can’t even imagine eating oatmeal chocolate chip — those just aren’t flavors I want associated with each other.

      A good oatmeal raisin cookie, though? Definitely my speed (the ones on the main page image look too thin and/or crisp for my liking… I like them thick and chewy).

      Morning, all.

      • AlexinCT

        Chocolate chips cookies pretending to be succulent oatmeal raisin ones, is why I have trust issues…

      • cavalier973

        Do you like no bakes?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Wasn’t that what made Mrs. Fields distinctive, the (half-ground?) oats?

        My gran had an orange-oat-CC recipe.

      • Drake

        Oatmeal chocolate chip.is the absolute best.

      • SDF-7

        No, I prefer my cookies cooked pretty much across the board. Raw cookie dough is for jilted 20-something girls.

  2. Rat on a train

    I vote oatmeal raisin. Like voting for offices, I know the uniformed will outvote me.

    • UnCivilServant

      For once I agree with a number of Glibs.

      • Rat on a train

        Another sign of the apocalypse.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I can’t believe Mr. Specialty Glove won’t be voting with the uniformed.

      • bacon-magic

        #METOO

    • juris imprudent

      You have to wonder what other breakfast cereal cookies there are?

      • SDF-7

        Hey! I resemble that remark! (I have been known to eat such a cookie or two for breakfast because, after all — it’s just a round oatmeal bar!)

      • Gender Traitor

        Do Rice Krispies Treats count?

      • AlexinCT

        I was expecting a link to cookies made with garlic, Neph..

    • creech

      Voting this year for “Neither.” But as for cookies, “Both.”

    • Bobarian LMD

      Do you have something against the military?

  3. AlexinCT

    And that meme about people not knowing what socialism is, considering how I have seen that a vast majority of kids today do not know shit, because they are being failed by a public education more concerned in turning them into neurotic marxists than getting them ready to live good lives, makes sense.

    And THAT is what is so sad…

  4. Nephilium

    Fucking raisins man.

    Any food can be made be made better by the addition of chocolate or garlic, nothing is made better by the addition of raisins.

    • UnCivilServant

      You revel in being wrong, don’t you.

      How’s your garlic chocolate chip cookie?

      • Nephilium

        It’s an or, not an and. Either garlic OR chocolate.

      • UnCivilServant

        Since you did not specify XOR, the occurance of both still registers as true in your statement.

      • juris imprudent

        [Pedantic programmer mode] XOR [/ppm] not “or” (which logically allows both operants to be true)

      • juris imprudent

        [Chef pedantic mode] Mexican mole sauce has both garlic and chocolate. [/cpm] You aren’t even human if you don’t like a good mole.

      • UnCivilServant

        good mole

        Does not compute.

      • SDF-7

        You aren’t even human if you don’t like a good mole.

        I’m probably blind — but I just don’t see it.

      • Rat on a train

        If only I could find good mole in the area.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have yet to find one.

        /Upstate New York

      • Gender Traitor

        You’ll probably have to dig for it.

      • juris imprudent

        UCS – it helps if you don’t pronounce it like a gringo. It is phonetically “moh-lay”.

      • UnCivilServant

        Your 6.02214076×10^23 sauce is dissappointing.

      • SDF-7

        Larry, Curly and Shemp never got any action. It was always “Moe-lay” time behind the scenes….

      • juris imprudent

        So much for Alton Brown and his molecular gastronomy.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I like it with sliced Avogradro.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        *Avogadro

      • Not Adahn

        Whichever “logician” decided that “or” meant inclusive or was a contrarian ass. Obviously the default “or” is exclusive, otherwise the construction and/or would never have needed to exist.

    • AlexinCT

      HERETIC!

      Yes on the garlic, but no way just because garlic is awesome, is chocolate that great.

    • SDF-7

      Heh… I expected South Park. Ah well.

    • rhywun

      nothing is made better by the addition of raisins

      It had to be said.

      • SDF-7

        Cinnamon rice pudding would like a f’ing word, gentlemen. Sheesh.

      • UnCivilServant

        Why would a lie like that have to be said?

      • Fourscore

        Raisins in oatmeal, every day. With a spoonful of honey.

        The key to longevity. You saw it here first.

        It’s the least I can do to help out the few friends I have left.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        +100

        Oatmeal cookies (as in, oatmeal raisin recipe without the raisins) is a good cookie that just doesn’t need the fucking raisins. Also doesn’t really need the chocolate chips, but they are preferable to the raisins.

      • Not Adahn

        Remind me never to eat the fruitcake at Rhywun’s house.

  5. rhywun

    “It’s simply not the BBC’s job to tell people who to support and who to condemn — who are the good guys and who are the bad guys,” BBC world editor John Simpson said in a column explaining the network’s position a few days after Hamas attacked.

    And then his pants lit on fire.

    • AlexinCT

      That they say this shit with a straight face and expect people to fall for it these days…

      • juris imprudent

        They learn that at the Columbia school of journalism, or whatever is the British equivalent.

      • SarumanTheGreat

        Getting disinvited to parties, shunned by his peers, and possibly losing his job are likely motivating factors.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Two thirds of those sound good to me.

    • SDF-7

      Heh… now apply that logic to your climate articles, any articles on US politics (or for that matter, domestic politics from what I can tell BBC….), the relative merits of London and the posh boys from Oxford and Cambridge versus the yoots from “up north” and whatnot…. etc.

      As much as I enjoy various bits of British culture as they make it across the Pond, I don’t think they’re any less class conscious or judgemental in general than they were when Pygmalion was written — and that is steeped heavily in the BBC’s lack of objectivity.

  6. Shpip

    An English muffin. Canadian bacon. Does this sound like a beloved American classic?

    Well, that’s what the internationally sourced creation becomes when you add the poached egg and drizzle it all with Hollandaise sauce (a creamy mixture of egg yolks, butter and lemon juice or vinegar).

    If I cook this for breakfast and then pause for a short prayer of thanks to the Almighty, have I made a benediction?

    • AlexinCT

      I see what you did there…

      • SDF-7

        I think he had a point about the west — but he gave it up.

    • Rat on a train

      It’s like the shahada for Muslims. You are now a Catholic monk.

    • juris imprudent

      Lay your hands on it and your joke is Papa bull.

    • EvilSheldon

      Hollandaise sauce made with vinegar? I think not…

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        That’s béarnaise, non?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (Avec shallots and tarragon, of course.)

      • EvilSheldon

        Sauce Béarnaise includes vinegar, but a lot of other stuff too.

    • Not Adahn

      Fun fact: you can take any sandwich, top it with poached eggs and Hollandaise, and have made a brunch dish.

      • Ted S.

        [ puts poached egg on McRib]

      • AlexinCT

        Someone needs to take a sledge hammer to this guys knees for that heresy…

      • Nephilium

        Ted S.:

        Is this close enough?

        [Brunch Poutine]
        SUNNY SHORT RIB $ 10 / $ 16
        Braised short rib, charred poblano puree, sunny egg, aji

      • EvilSheldon

        Peanut butter and banana?

      • Not Adahn

        Undoubtedly the sort of person who eats McGriddles/Frech Toast clubs would love a PB&sweet thing benedict.

        Benedicting a McRib would improve it. Benedicting a Pulled Pork sandwich would be great.

        At the local diner, they’ve got a BLT benedict on the regular menu, and at my request they’ve Benny’d cheeseburgers and club sandwiches to great effect.

      • EvilSheldon

        I’m not going to try this just for your perverted amusement, NA. Not on my public OnlyFans, anyway…

        Seriously, pulled pork with a poached egg and Hollandaise does sound like a bit of a no-brainer.

  7. Rat on a train

    The fire ignited when a sprinkler head malfunctioned around 5 a.m. Sunday at the BioLab plant in Conyers, Rockdale County Fire Chief Marian McDaniel told reporters. The malfunction caused water to mix with a water-reactive chemical, producing a plume of chemicals.

    It’s like rain on your wedding day…

    • Fourscore

      “Happy is the bride the rains falls on”

  8. Suthenboy

    knee jerk to links –

    Gun story: Usual suspects say “We are going to disarm you and bring you to heel. We will not stop until we do.”

    Chemical fire: Arson/insurance or the janitor tried to sneak a cigarette?

    Why are people so obsessed with the pumpkin spice latte? – Because it is good. Because it harkens back to that magical holiday joy we had when we were children?

    AI is good for some things, others no so much.

    Our globalist betters seek a world where the master-slave relationship is the natural order of things. They are the anti-Coolidges.
    “If all men are created equal, that is final. If they are endowed with inalienable rights, that is final. If governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed, that is final. No advance, no progress can be made beyond these propositions. If anyone wishes to deny their truth or their soundness, the only direction in which he can proceed historically is not forward, but backward toward the time when there was no equality, no rights of the individual, no rule of the people.”

    RIP Mr. Ashton.

    Like our language, or menu has become the best because we are open to adopting the best of everyone else’s and making it better.

    TOS? We should vote Kamalamadingdong and buy toasters made with slave labor? Keep the Byzantine regulations in place to smother American industry? I dont know if I want to parse that article or not. I may give it a go later.

    How long before indictments/warrants/prison sentences for the BB staff? Will they be extradited to Old Blighty? Tune in tomorrow….

    Ok, off to feed dogs, birds, wives wash dishes and switch the laundry over…..

    • R C Dean

      Don’t waste your time on the toaster article. The entire case for “You can’t make a toaster for less than $300 in the US” is “Some other countries make toasters for $250.”

      That’s it. That’s the entire argument.

      • Homple

        Handmade, artisanal foreign toasters, no less. The assertion that an American made toaster would cost $250 is absurd on its face. An unusually stupid article, even by the standards of TOS.

      • The Other Kevin

        For now. Eventually those costs would go down as more industry moved back. In the mean time, pick one up at Goodwill, or get a cool old one at an antique store.

      • Sensei

        Yup read that earlier and thought the same thing.

        China and other low cost countries have captured the bottom rung of the market. There was no point for others to try to compete and they made high end products.

        Rice cooker would be a great example. You can get Chinese made ones for around $20. You can get a Japanese version of the same simple rice cooker for around $50.

        https://www.amazon.com/Zojirushi-NHS-06-3-Cup-Uncooked-Cooker/dp/B00004S575/

        https://www.amazon.com/Aroma-Housewares-4-Cups-Cooked-ARC-302NGP/dp/B098BVDKYK/?th=1

        So roughly 2.5x.

  9. Drake

    I will now venture forth into the world. Still no power at home, but the office has power so I may as well go there. Hopefully the nearby gas stations have power too or I’ll be walking home.

    • AlexinCT

      Is it as bad as they say it is?

      • Drake

        Very similar to Hurricane Sandy in NJ. Somehow I’ve managed to be there for those hurricanes as well as the Northridge Earthquake. Maybe it’s me?

    • The Other Kevin

      I have in-laws in Kentucky and they said it’s worse than reported. Flooding and trees down everywhere.

  10. invisible finger

    What you need is chocolate oatmeal CAKE.

    • UnCivilServant

      what spoor of madness is this?

      • SDF-7

        I would imagine getting it cooked properly at that thickness would be a challenge. For most folks, the center would still be raw or the outer edges would be too dry. But that’s just my gut instinct.

      • UnCivilServant

        I would have thought it’d be a classic cake recipe using oat flour to substitute some of the wheat flour and a few flakes of opatmeal for texture.

    • Nephilium

      The favorite cookie in my family is a chocolate steel cut oat cookie.

  11. SDF-7

    How much it’ll cost to make an American made toaster

    Ugh… couldn’t make it far in that article… got to their “counter-point” guy (from the Progressive Policy Institute… no chance of bias there!) comparing existing “Western made” toasters in EU markets costing $250 equivalence…. and stating that that would be what it would take to be profitable in the US.

    Nothing about how perhaps they’ve ceded the low end market to the cheap imports? (Because you know damned well they have).

    Nothing about differences in VAT taxing, where these are manufactured, etc.

    Nothing about relative steel / resource prices (because those kind of matter).

    So large grain of salt.

    • UnCivilServant

      I don’t actually have a use for a dedicated toaster.

      • Fourscore

        Need has nothing to do with it.

        I don’t need a pick up truck but I sure do like having one to use as a car.

        What? Two pairs of shoes?

      • UnCivilServant

        I didn’t say need.

        I have no use for one, It’d just take up space.

      • SDF-7

        I like cinnamon raisin toast (a theme! a definite theme!) with apple butter some mornings. And my wife has been known to enjoy a bagel from time to time. So while ours often just supports other things on our kitchen counters — it still is a purchase I think was reasonable. (Tend to last for like 20 years as well).

        What do you use? Toaster oven or something? I can certainly see that especially if you aren’t cooking large quantities often. Whatever works for you….

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve dropped as many carbs as I can from my diet.

        So no bagels, no toast, nothing of that sort.

      • R.J.

        Good for you. It is surprisingly tough to reduce carbs.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Breakfast salad high-five.

        (You DO win friends with salad!)

      • UnCivilServant

        🙋‍♂️ (closest I could get to a high five)

    • rhywun

      It’s the same bullshit they’ve been spinning for decades. We can pull numbers out our ass too! I wonder if they’re still pretending that trade with China will turn them into a democracy. 🙄

      • juris imprudent

        NOT THE WINSTON SIGNAL!!!

  12. SDF-7

    I didn’t keep up over the weekend, so don’t know if it was covered — but it looks like Kristofferson may become a single drop of rain now.

    • AlexinCT

      Saw that as well.

    • Rat on a train

      It’s not the first time they’ve stated the Constitution is an obstacle to their plans.

    • SDF-7

      And people wonder* why I have a problem with globalism and accordingly am fine with tariffs over “Free Trade” as it has manifested over the last few decades.

      * Narrator: No one wonders, actually — or particular cares.

    • invisible finger

      I’m old enough to remember when the left was afraid Nixon was going to repeal the bill of rights.

      • juris imprudent

        It wasn’t the repeal that scared them – it was who was doing it.

      • AlexinCT

        That is an awesome summarization of the left’s mindset, JI.

        They see no rule or compact that can’t be broken as long as they do the breaking. And that is so they can benefit from the abuse.

        That’s also why they hate any war they didn’t start or profit from.

        These are the people that won’t give their victims the reach around.

    • Suthenboy

      We have millions of people saying what they want on social media without any regulation or oversight. This has to end. – Kamalamadingdong

      Vote ‘I hate Trump’ – Idiot

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Worked so well last time.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      It seems that they think democracy is centralized power so they can be “free to implement change” to use Kerry’s words.

    • rhywun

      Unless they’re suggesting gutting the language and rebuilding it.

      Narrator: The left is suggesting gutting everything and rebuilding it. That is what they do.

      • The Other Kevin

        To continue JI’s thought above, the left is fine with colonization as long as they’re doing it.

    • Suthenboy

      This is what happens when you let room temp IQ’s LARP as intellectuals. No one personifies that more than Robert Reich.
      Ok, maybe Neil DeGrasse Tyson? Bill Nye? Krugman? Marcotte?
      Shit, forget what I first said. It cant really be narrowed down, can it?

      • AlexinCT

        These people you mention, are people that are part of the cabal that believe, or more likely, claim to believe, in man made climate change, which always and only can be fixed by marxist globalism, right?….

        Yeah.

      • juris imprudent

        Taibbi crushing it as usual…

        Let me pause to say something about America’s current intellectual class, from which the “anti-disinformation” complex comes. By the way: there are no working-class censors, poor censors, hungry censors. The dirty secret of “content moderation” everywhere is that it’s a tiny sliver of the educated rich correcting everyone else. It’s telling people what fork to use, but you can get a degree in it.

        America has the most useless aristocrats in history. Even the French dandies marched to the razor by the Jacobins were towering specimens of humanity compared to the Michael Haydens, John Brennans, James Clappers, Mike McFauls and Rick Stengels who make up America’s self-appointed behavior police.

        In prerevolutionary France even the most drunken, depraved, debauched libertine had to be prepared to back up an insolent act with a sword duel to the death. Our aristocrats pee themselves at the sight of mean tweets. They have no honor, no belief, no poetry, art, or humor, no patriotism, no loyalty, no dreams, and no accomplishments. They’re simultaneously illiterate and pretentious, which is very hard to pull off.

      • AlexinCT

        No wonder they want a global reset to feudalism that gives them a hereditary aristocracy. Competition and doing the work is too hard for these asshats.

        We need to go back to systems of competence with consequences for failure. Most of these fools would self select out of the human gene pool then.

      • juris imprudent

        [ultra whiney voice] Buuuuuut Alllllleeeeeexxxxxx, that’s not FAIRRRrrrrrr

      • AlexinCT

        Fairness was invented to give children and morons something to argue about.

        Life is not fair. Most important lesson everyone of us should learn.

  13. Shpip

    “In sum, ‘developed’ high-income countries do make home toasters. But they are profitable at prices about ten times those you’d find in mainstream U.S. retail outlets.,” writes Gresser. “So to achieve Vance’s apparent goal, mainstream toaster prices would probably have to rise to Neiman Marcus levels, say $300 each.”

    Left unmentioned: the article takes issue with the costs and prices from Cass’s analysis but takes Gresser’s at face value based on his assuming a sperical cow, so to speak. Appears to me to be the straight up “According to my model, my model is correct”-type thinking that we mock so regularly around these parts.

    • Shpip

      Or, y’know, what SDF-7 wrote upthread.

  14. Chipping Pioneer

    Like the toaster article from TOS, I’ve seen a number prefaced with “trust us, you won’t like it” recently. As with everything in the corporate press, they all start saying the same things at the same time. In this case, they’re skipping right past the part where they tell you what to think to telling you how you’re going to feel after they tell you how to think.

    Also, fuck TOS.

    • Fourscore

      Some things we need to learn to avoid, like nettles, poison ivy, skunks, TOS, etc

    • juris imprudent

      There needs to be an “I, toaster” article written for the edification of the TOS staff.

    • Rat on a train

      Speaking of TOS, have they endorsed Harris?

      • Shpip

        Not yet, but “The Libertarian Case for Kamala Harris” should drop around October 20th.

      • R C Dean

        In typical futile TOS manner, too late to matter what with all the junk mail ballots already lined up for counting.

      • Rat on a train

        Those were ready months ago, they just had to update the candidate name.

  15. Shpip

    Want to get your blood pumping (and raise your blood pressure this morning)? Here you go.

    Springfield is the archetypal town of the forgotten man. Trump’s constant refrain has echoed throughout the rusted beams and derelict barns of this place. It has one problem: the wrong people remembered. And those people have come to finish Springfield off, once and for all.

    I didn’t come in search of cats and dogs on grills, although I found that too. I came to learn why the political representative of the American people was determined to replace them with others. It turns out that the explanation is simple: they did it for money, for a feeling of moral superiority, and because it could be done.

    Longish read, but worth your time.

    • AlexinCT

      THEY ARE EAT’N THE CATS! THEY ARE EAT’N THE DOGS!

    • rhywun

      LOL

  16. EvilSheldon

    The problem with oatmeal raisin cookies isn’t the raisins, it’s the oatmeal.

    I’m pretty sure I’d trust Jesus with my perversions farther than I’d trust Google.

    I think I pulled a piriformis (hip/groin muscle) at jits this morning. Fuck. Always on a Monday…

    • UnCivilServant

      Does that have a side effect of inducing aphasia?

      • EvilSheldon

        You can just say, “What the fuck are you even on about, EvilSheldon?” I don’t mind.

      • UnCivilServant

        But exercising my vocabulary is sometimes the only exercise I get.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        UCS, it is rumored that you’re a sesquipedalian.

      • EvilSheldon

        To explain, ‘jits’ is short for ‘Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class’. I did something weird with my leg while practicing a shoulder throw, and my piriformis muscle is annoyingly sore.

      • UnCivilServant

        Hope the injury heals quickly.

      • EvilSheldon

        Thanks. This is (hopefully) one of those niggling little low-grade injuries that happen when you decide to take up a combat sport in your 40’s.

    • AlexinCT

      I still have not been told who has been running the country for the last 3 1/2 years. Cause I know for sure it was not this crypt keeper.

      • creech

        Unfortunately, you may be looking at another four to eight years of “wondering.” I don’t think Barry and Michelle are going to come clean on this issue.

  17. Timeloose

    My wife makes oatmeal crasin cookies with cinnamon chips. They are stupendous. The crasin is a little sour and a little bitter, but sugar from the cookie and the cinnamon chips mellows both out and gives you a nice favor contrast. The cinnamon comes in bursts from the chips.

    • UnCivilServant

      Back when I was baking, I used to make a lemon craisin cookie.

      I could get rid of them just by putting them out in any spot where people were. They’d be eaten up in no time flat.

    • Old Man With Candy

      That might work if she plumps the craisins first. If she doesn’t, SP’s ghost will descend from heaven and remove her shins.

      • R C Dean

        “she plumps the craisins”

        I’m not even gonna ask what this is a euphemism for.

      • juris imprudent

        Whatever it is, you can bet that NPR ladies don’t do it.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I was texting last night during the game with the Original NPR Lady (she’s an avid Bills fan, so I was trolling her). Following intra-family discussion of this issue, I asked the critical question. Her response: “You plump them in rum. What kind of uncivilized person wouldn’t do that?”

        I have to admit, her desserts were always right on point.

      • Not Adahn

        Ew. Rasins should be like fruit leather, not squishy.

      • rhywun

        she’s an avid Bills fan, so I was trolling her

        Heavens to Betsy, that performance was… lacking.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I rather enjoyed it.

    • rhywun

      Good lord. I poked around a couple other stories there. It’s unbelievable the alternate reality they live in.

      • AlexinCT

        Their reality is that losing power, and especially to a Trump they can’t control through bribery or blackmail, is an existential threat to their machinations. Both of the past and the future….

      • Old Man With Candy

        This one is even worse. A perfect argument for repealing the 19th amendment.

      • slumbrew

        3 women from different backgrounds detail why they’re voting for Harris

        I assume all the answers are some variant of “vagina”.

      • Old Man With Candy

        “Brown vagina.”

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        OMWC: As long as we can stop paying taxes as well (as heard on Adam Carolla podcast last week).

      • slumbrew

        To borrow from Kmele Foster, “smooth brown vagina”

        (“I mean, I don’t know that for sure, but I assume…”)

      • rhywun

        I assume all the answers are some variant of “vagina”.

        Yes. Also, “African American”.

  18. The Other Kevin

    I listened to some of the Rescue the Republic speeches yesterday. Some were “rally” speeches but some were really well done. Tulsi and Matt Taibbi were spitting fire. Walter Kirn finished the day, cut short due to time but still a great speech. I don’t see individual speeches out there yet, but here is a transcript of Matt’s. https://www.racket.news/p/my-speech-in-washington-rescue-the

    There are some really smart, talented people fighting against the Dems.

    • cyto

      Amazing shift in American politics

      The principled left has moved to support the populist Republicans, and the establishment Republicans are all-in on supporting the crazed neocodemocrats. Authoritarian democrats.

      • juris imprudent

        The part that terrifies me is how many people are onboard with the great fascist coalition.

      • cyto

        Not sure how autocorrect managed to late-change neocon to neocodemocrats.

        Cool portmanteau though.

      • creech

        The last time I remember so many establishment Republicans abandoning the GOP was in 1964. And, look, that got us about 55,000 dead Americans in some place 99% of Americans couldn’t find on the map before 1964.

    • Tundra

      Tremendous speech.

  19. cyto

    CNN best American food article

    Picks Banana Pudding and proceeds to pair it with a jello instant pudding based abomination that in no way resembles real banana pudding.

    Pro tip – if you are getting your recipe from someone who doesn’t refer to banana pudding as something closer to “nanner puddin”, your chances of getting the real thing are slim.

  20. Toxteth O'Grady

    Bananas Foster… 🤤

    • UnCivilServant

      But do bananas adopt?

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Chocolate chips are acceptable, but NO NUTS.

    • cyto

      I outgrew many of my childhood aversions – broccoli, asparagus, mushrooms, onions… even Brussel sprouts.

      Nuts in cookies and brownies are still a hard no.

      • AlexinCT

        Brussel sprouts? What’s next? You also love eating ass?

      • Fourscore

        I ain’t eatin’ no Brussels Sprouts or okra

      • The Last American Hero

        Liar. Nobody likes Brussel Sprouts. They like butter, garlic, bacon, salt, pepper and all the stuff you put on the sprouts. The sprouts are just a bitter delivery mechanism for the salty savory goodness.

      • rhywun

        Yeah… Brussels sprouts are still a hard No but agreed that nuts in cookies and brownies are too.

      • EvilSheldon

        Untrue. Brussels Sprouts are just tiny cabbages. People don’t like them just because they don’t understand how to cook them.

      • slumbrew

        Halved, tossed with olive oil, salt and pepper, into oven on sheet pan and baked.

        Delicious. No need to hide them under piles of butter, etc.

      • Sean

        Halved, tossed with olive oil, salt and pepper, into oven on sheet pan and baked.

        Good God, man!

        Where’s the bacon?

      • slumbrew

        I’m not saying no to bacon – I’d never do that.

        I’m just saying it’s not strictly needed.

      • rhywun

        Yes, cabbage activates my gag reflex the same way the Brussels sprouts do.

      • Tundra

        Slum, try shallots with your sprouts. Oven as hot as it can go.

      • EvilSheldon

        rhywun – no coleslaw? Man, I don’t know what to say. I’m truly sorry for that.

  22. cyto

    “Artists rendering of florida” talking about the hurricane…

    This is actually how I feel going to Publix these days.

    Pre-pandemic, Publix was a great compromise of quality and price. Great customer service, clean stores, great store brands… and decent prices.

    Post covid… wow. I just can’t shop there.

    2 liter sodas were like $4 the other day.

    Aldi and Walmart Grocery and a local discount farmer market get my business for the most part.

  23. Gender Traitor

    Might not plumped raisins also be called reconstituted grapes?

    • cyto

      Stop dead naming raisins.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    I guess that hurricane was a big one. I have become so habituated to the “storm of the century” huffing and puffing, I pay no attention. I can afford to.

    • cyto

      For the southern Appalachian region, it was a unique event, unprecedented.

      Because nobody can get in there, and there is little communications out, we haven’t seen the real devastation yet.

      This one will take many, many years to repair, maybe a decade or more. And the region will never be the same.

      • juris imprudent

        Similar to what happened just a little further north/east a few years ago; back before we bought our property that hurricane that stalled and dumped something like two feet of rain in a couple of days. The damage is still visible.

    • UnCivilServant

      So I should just speak English very loudly?

      • Not Adahn

        It’s also helpful to slow it down and over-enunciate.

      • The Last American Hero

        I try to just speak English with an accent of whatever country I travel to.

      • Sensei

        I try to just speak English with an accent of whatever country I travel to.

        That can actually get you by in Japan. If you truly master the way English words become “spelled” in Japanese you’ve actually got a better than 50% shot that somebody will understand whatever noun you are saying.

        If you do the same thing to a verb but add “suru” (soo roo) or “to do” to the end of it you also have a better than 50% chance of being understood.

    • Sensei

      Many of the same reason learning Latin was painful. Seems no worse than the hell was French for me.

      This is not to suggest I’ll be having a meaningful conversation with you in Romanian 12 months.

      • rhywun

        Doesn’t seem any harder than German was – there are just as many nonsensical quirks there too.

      • Sensei

        From the video, which was tongue in cheek, some claim it is an “easy” language for English speakers.

        Like anything it depends on desire and aptitude. I’m not a great language learner, Japanese just gave me an interest and desire.

        Many people who have studied as long as I have are far more fluent.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “Like anything it depends on desire and aptitude. I’m not a great language learner, Japanese just gave me an interest and desire.”

        Most Francophones could decipher this just by reading.

    • cyto

      Pretty much the entire point.

      Get enough people dependent on handouts to ensure ongoing support, then skim a huge vig for your cronies who then let you get your beak wet.

      • rhywun

        It’s the entire modus operandi of the Democratic party.

    • creech

      I’m repeatedly told this is “Christian compassion” at work. Sure, Jesus told us to rob others of their agency.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    No crisis unexploited

    While the hurricane made landfall in Florida, it has been the devastating flooding in western North Carolina and eastern Tennessee that has been the focus of rescue efforts in recent days. The Appalachian Mountain areas of both states have been inundated with unprecedented rainfall that has left thousands cut off and isolated, leaving first responders with a difficult task in getting to those who need help.

    North Carolina is a key state for Harris and Democrats in the fall as the vice president attempts to flip a state that has gone for Republicans in each presidential election since 2008. Her opponent, Donald Trump, has already attacked her and President Joe Biden for continuing on with their weekend plans as the devastation in the state became clear.

    The former president also continued on with his regularly scheduled campaign rallies, despite that criticism.

    Just as long as the suffering of others can be used for political advantage.

    Trump continued his scheduled appearances? What a monster. It’s almost as if he’s currently a private citizen.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Trump is expected to visit Valdosta, Georgia, on Monday, where he will receive a briefing on the devastation and “facilitate the distribution of relief supplies.”

    Cheap theatrics. He doesn’t care about people.

  27. Grummun

    These days my primary objection to raisins is that they are covered in pesticides. Craisins have so much sugar they are basically candied. I guess if I’m eating cookies I shouldn’t bitch so much about sugar, but fuck it takes a lot of sugar to make a cranberry palatable.

    I used to be a ‘no nuts in cookies’ kind of guy, but then the wife started toasting the nuts in the oven before putting them in the cookies and now I’m converted. Prefer pecans over walnuts, though.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    From Sensei’s WSJ link:

    Neither party has much incentive to dial back the spending.

    Rome wasn’t burned in a day.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Frontier justice

    Former President Donald Trump on Sunday called for “one real rough, nasty” and “violent day” of police retaliation in order to eradicate crime “immediately.”

    The remarks — delivered by Trump at a rally in Erie, Pennsylvania, just 36 days before the election — did not amount to a new policy proposal, according to a Trump campaign official.

    “One rough hour — and I mean real rough — the word will get out and it will end immediately, you know? It will end immediately,” Trump said.

    Asked whether the former president’s idea amounted to a new proposal and how such an operation would work, a campaign official said Trump was “clearly just floating it in jest.”

    “Jest” or not. this will be spun up as Trump’s plan for a brown shirt goon squad.

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      They’ve already purchased dozens of Starlinks, and bought out the Walmart and Dominoes in Travelers Rest SC (my former town).

  30. The Late P Brooks

    “President Trump has always been the law and order President and he continues to reiterate the importance of enforcing existing laws,” Steven Cheung, the campaign’s communications director, wrote in a statement to POLITICO. “Otherwise it’s all-out anarchy, which is what Kamala Harris has created in some of these communities across America, especially during her time as [California] Attorney General when she emboldened criminals.

    Trump was found guilty earlier this year of 34 felony counts by a New York jury related to his scheme to cover up hush money payments to a porn actor.

    GOTCHA!

  31. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    I prefer all my cookies not to have chunks or bits of any kind. I make my chocolate chip cookies with maybe half the amount of chips the recipe calls for, if that.

    And raisins are awful, especially once they’re baked and get all mushy like slime.

    • Tundra

      Good morning, KK.

      How’s things there?

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Shameless

    Former President Donald Trump is making Hurricane Helene into a campaign issue, planning a stop in storm-ravaged, battleground Georgia on Monday and criticizing the Biden administration’s response with just weeks left until the November election.

    During a rally in Erie, Pennsylvania, on Sunday, Trump accused President Joe Biden of “sleeping” at his beach house in Delaware and dragged Vice President Kamala Harris for holding fundraising events in California over the weekend “when big parts of our country have been devastated by that massive hurricane.”

    I fucking hate politics.

    • Ted S.

      Now do Katrina….

  33. Drake

    *Affixes tinfoil hat*

    This hurricane came out of nowhere with almost no warning and blasted it’s way through the deepest red sections of the country. From the Florida panhandle, up through the southern Appalachians, and into Indiana.

    If I had a weather machine and hated conservatives…

    • slumbrew

      ZOMG, HAARP!!!!1111-eleventy!

    • Rat on a train

      Darth Cheney strikes back.

    • Urthona

      ‘Cept a left-wing college town was trashed the most.

      ..

      I wish Kamala Harris would come out, though, and assure us that she does indeed come from a middle class family.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    If I had a weather machine and hated conservatives…

    And wanted to prove to them how helpless and pathetic they are without the loving embrace of Big Nanny….

  35. The Late P Brooks

    The storm made landfall in Florida late Thursday, then moved into the interior Southeast, across the Southern Appalachians and into the Tennessee Valley. It caused millions of power outages and billions of dollars in property damage, with two electoral swing states — Georgia and North Carolina — among the most affected.

    Keep your eye on the ball, Politico writer. Focus on what’s really important.

    • Rat on a train

      Don’t worry, Politico, D votes will be counted regardless.

    • Sean

      “All our fake ballots got wet!”

    • R C Dean

      I guarantee this will be cited as a reason for delayed counting of ballots, somehow.

      • Ted S.

        Austria suffered substantial flooding two weeks before a general election and had no problems counting all the ballots in a few hours.

  36. Mojeaux

    I’m not going to say oatmeal raisin cookies were verboten in my house growing up, but none of us were fans. My mother DID make a bar cookie with raisin pie innards and I FLUVED that. A raisin tart, kinda like. I still don’t make oatmeal raisin cookies. My husband hates both oatmeal and raisins, I like eating raisins straight, and the kids are at best indifferent. Best use of oatmeal cookie is the Little Debbie oatmeal sandwich cookie.

    Nuts do not go in chocolate chip cookies, but they DO go in brownies.

    My chocolate chip cookies have twice the number of chips that the recipe calls for. However, I like my chocolate chip cookies flat and crispy on the edges and gooey in the center, which my husband calls my chocolate chip crackers. He does not like them this way.

    I make a to-die-for lemon sugar cookie. No such thing as too much lemon.

    OMWC, I was very happy for you last night. I’m sorry NOT-NPR lady bombed. *cries in romance writer*

    And oh, SDF-7, you TAKE THAT BACK about the wonders or and ambrosia that is raw cookie dough.

    I also prefer my beef almost raw.

  37. bacon-magic

    Oatmeal cookies are good with raisins and cranberries. Chocolate chips are only for chocolate chip cookies.

    • Gender Traitor

      Chocolate chips can also be eaten straight from the bag.

      • bacon-magic

        ^^^

  38. Mojeaux

    As entertaining as the oatmeal raisin cookie debate has been, I was hoping for Sloopy to snark on the Refs Chiefs.

    • R C Dean

      The Chefs are giving me Cowboys flashbacks. The dinking around until just before halftime has been a Cowboys strategy for years.

      At least Kelce finally got around to catching a couple of passes. So you’ve got that going for you.

      • Mojeaux

        Right?! So sick of the sloppiness.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    What we really need in this time of strife and trial is a locust swarm of reporters touring the devastation and shoving cameras in the faces of the shocked and bereaved to ask, “NOW do you believe in global warming?”

  40. The Late P Brooks

    As entertaining as the oatmeal raisin cookie debate has been, I was hoping for Sloopy to snark on the Refs Chiefs.

    I turned that game on somewhere in the third quarter, I think, and promptly fell asleep.

    • creech

      You and the Eagles both!

  41. The Late P Brooks

    Chocolate chips are only for chocolate chip cookies.

    Any cookie is a chocolate chip cookie if it has chocolate chips in it.

  42. Gustave Lytton

    I don’t understand the need to be a cookie holy warrior. There’s plenty of room in the pantry for more than one type of cookie. Just like there’s room in the liquor cabinet or beer cooler for more than one type of each.

  43. hayeksplosives

    Fire drill at work—a literal one. Everyone is standing around shivering. I’m sitting in my Tesla on “camp” mode since they were already gathered outside when I pulled up.

    • UnCivilServant

      So you’ve gotten the hang of “arrive late, leave early, and take a long lunch”? you really are a manager

      • Gustave Lytton

        Needs moar expense report padding.

      • Rat on a train

        We talked shop at the bar so that can be expensed?

      • Mojeaux

        This is how I expense my craft supplies. “I’m a writer! I need all the creativity I can get!”

  44. The Late P Brooks

    Kneel before the One True Cookie.

    • Sean
    • kinnath

      Snickerdoodle?

    • Tundra

      Ginger

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Fire drill at work—a literal one. Everyone is standing around shivering. I’m sitting in my Tesla on “camp” mode since they were already gathered outside when I pulled up.

    Are you sure it’s not a bomb scare?

  46. pistoffnick (370HSSV)

    Why take a perfectly good grape and ruin it?

  47. Gustave Lytton

    So DOJ is suing AL for cleaning voter rolls. Not a peep about OR or MN allowing illegals to register as voters (and cast ballots in the case of OR). Quite clear which way “clean” elections and “one person one vote” goes.