Stoic Friday LXXXI

by | Sep 20, 2024 | Advice, LifeSkills, Musings | 54 comments

Last Week

Meditations

How to Be a Stoic

How to Think Like a Roman Emperor

Seneca’s Letters from a Stoic

If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)

This week’s book:

Discourses and Selected Writings

Disclaimer: I’m not your Supervisor. These are my opinions after reading through these books a few times.

Epictetus was born a slave around 50 ad. His owner was Epaphroditus, a rich freedman who was once a slave of Nero. Though he was a slave Epictetus was sent to study philosophy under Musonius Rufus.

Epictetus was lame and there are some stories it was caused by his master and others that it was caused by disease.

He was a freedman when all philosophers were banished from Rome in 89 by the Emperor Domitian. He then started his school in Greece, and had many students. He did not leave any writings from his lessons, but one of his students, Flavius Arrian, took notes and wrote the Discourses.

Epictetus did not marry, had no children, and lived to be around 80-85. In retirement, he adopted a child that would have been abandoned and raised him with a woman.

He died sometime around AD 135.

He is my favorite Stoic teacher. I love his bare bones and very straight forward approach.

Following is a paragraph-by-paragraph discussion of one of his lessons. Epictetus’s text appears in bold, my replies are in normal text.

Of Training Part II

For who is the man in training? He is the man who practices not employing his desire, and practices employing his aversion only upon the things that are within the sphere of his moral purpose, yes, and practices particularly in the things that are difficult to master. And so different men will have to practice particularly to meet different things.

I have to work harder at avoiding anger than I do not being concerned about other’s opinions of me. For someone else it could be the opposite. While I do not ignore the principles that come easy to me, I try to focus on the ones I have a natural difficulty with.

To what purpose is it, then, under these conditions, to set up a palm tree, or to carry around a leather tent, or a mortar and pestle?[2] 10Man, practice, if you are arrogant, to submit when you are reviled, not to be disturbed when you are insulted. then you will make such progress, that, even if someone strikes you, you will say to yourself, “Imagine that you have thrown your arms about a statue.”

When I first practiced staying even keeled while hungry, I was really struggling to not sullenly stare at the table until the waiter brought our food. Now it is much easier, and when occasionally I find myself in that situation, I have no problem being a human.

Next train yourself to use wine with discretion, not with a view to heavy drinking (for there are some clumsy fools who practice with this in mind), but first for the purpose of achieving abstention from wine, and keeping your hands off a wench, or a sweet-cake.

I used to be one of the clumsy fools that practiced drinking often. I could drink a lot without being too drunk. Now I do still drink and sometimes I get drunk, but not nearly like I used to. When I am drinking, I do have a habit of eating junk food, but I can live with that since it’s only once a week.

And then some day, if the occasion for a test really comes, you will enter the lists at a proper time for the sake of discovering whether your sense-impressions still overcome you just as they did before. But first of all flee far away from the things that are too strong for you. It is not a fair match that, between a pretty wench and a young beginner in philosophy. “A pot,” as they say, “and a stone do not go together.”[3]*

*From Aesop’s Fables:

TWO Pots, one of earthenware, the other of brass, were carried down a river in a flood. The Brazen Pot begged his companion to keep by his side, and he would protect him. “Thank you for your offer,” said the Earthen Pot, “but that is just what I am afraid of; if you will only keep at a distance, I may float down in safety; but should we come in contact, I am sure to be the sufferer.”

Avoid too powerful neighbors; for, should there be a collision, the weakest goes to the wall.

Trying to take on too much as a beginner in anything can lead to disaster. If I had gone to the restaurant hungry immediately after trying to follow Stoicism, it wouldn’t have worked and I could have become more upset afterwards because obviously it was impossible. If that had happened, I would probably have just decided that there was nothing I could do about my anger and let it control me. Instead I waited to attempt that when I had success at battling smaller rages with solid strategies to follow.

After your desire and your aversion the next topic[4] has to do with your choice and refusal. Here the object is to be obedient to reason, not to choose or to refuse at the wrong time, or the wrong place, or contrary to some other similar propriety.

I am in control of the things I choose and refuse. Right now I am choosing to deal positively with the fact my ankle swelled up again and I am back on crutches after 3 weeks of being able to walk normally. My mind keeps trying to go to “What if this is my life now”, but I am doing a much better job this time of not slipping into anger at other minor things because my injury is bugging me.

The third topic has to do with cases of assent; it is concerned with the things that are plausible and attractive. 15For, just as Socrates used to tell us not to live a life unsubjected to examination,[5] so we ought not to accept a sense-impression unsubjected to examination, but should say, “Wait, allow me to see who you are and whence you come”[6] (just as the night-watch say, “Show me your tokens”).[7]

I had to do this last time my ankle had this issue. I felt I was dealing with it well, but found myself getting angry over things that haven’t bothered me in a while. Upon looking deeper, it was obvious that my ability to deal with the injury mentally was not as positive as I had convinced myself. This time, because I am prepared for that kind of reaction, I have been (mostly) successful at not feeling anger.

“Do you have your token from nature, the one which every sense-impression which is to be accepted must have?” And, in conclusion, all the methods which are applied to the body by the persons who are giving it exercise, might also themselves be conducive to training, if in some such way as this they tend toward desire and aversion; but if they tend toward display, they are characteristic of a man who has turned toward the outside world, and is hunting for something other than the thing itself which he is doing, and is looking for spectators who will say, “Ah, what a great man!” It is this consideration which renders admirable the remark that Apollonius used to make: “When you wish to train for your own sake, then when you are thirsty some hot day take a mouthful of cold water, and spit it out—[8] and don’t tell anybody about it!”

If I am following Stoicism to impress anyone, I have failed in the most basic of ways. My wife has noticed, and I do write about it here. I am happy my wife has noticed my improvement, because it validates that my efforts have paid off and I’m not tricking myself into seeing improvement that’s not there. Writing my weekly essay here helps to keep myself accountable and hopefully some of you readers benefit as well.

About The Author

ron73440

ron73440

What I told my wife when she said my steel Baby Eagle .45 was heavy, "Heavy is good, heavy is reliable, if it doesn't work you could always hit him with it."-Boris the Blade MOLON LABE

54 Comments

  1. R.J.

    “When I first practiced staying even keeled while hungry, I was really struggling to not sullenly stare at the table until the waiter brought our food. Now it is much easier, and when occasionally I find myself in that situation, I have no problem being a human.”

    You know it. I get crazy when hungry, and now I am dealing with overeating due to stress. I even dislike labeling it as “overeating due to stress.” That feels like making excuses for behavior I should control.

    I still have problems being human. I am working on it though.

    • UnCivilServant

      I have more tolerance for people getting moody waiting for food because I know too many diabetics. When their sugar is off, their ability to control their emotional state is negatively impacted. The rest of the time, they’re lovely people.

      Don’t be annoyed at naming stress eating as stress eating. If you know what you’re doing and why, you can try to address the behavior. It’s only an excuse if you go “oh well, I’m stress eating, nom nom.”

      • R.J.

        I am making a serious effort at recognizing the triggers and compensating in different ways. It is annoying to see how many times a day I allow myself to be triggered. Which I suppose is a first step to solving the issue. Annoyance with myself.

      • Tundra

        Have you tried tinkering with your diet?

        Cortisol is a really important hormone, but too much stress does all kinds of weird shit to your metabolism. Even what you eat or don’t eat can cause cortisol dumps. I’ve been having a hell of a time dropping weight, even using methods that have worked well in the past. A friend who is extremely knowledgeable told me that a super strict diet on top of unusual life stresses can absolutely block weight loss. I’m trying to up my protein, add in some more carbs and see if that moves the needle? Doing what I can to reduce stress as well.

    • ron73440

      My brother had his thyroid removed and he is a different level asshole when he is hangry.

      He knows this and does everything he can to avoid being that way.

      He keeps snack food in all his vehicles and his wife usually carries some for him as well.

      Still when we got stuck in traffic one time on our way to eat, she wanted to murder him by the time we got our food.

      He apologized later, but it’s almost funny to us, because he is the living embodiment of “You’re not you when you’re hungry” Snickers commercials.

  2. creech

    Stress is trying to watch Jeopardy or another 30 minute show in PA without being inundated with political ads (all of which are full of lies, mis-directions, half truths, or appeals to greed and envy.)

    • Ted S.

      Record it and fast-forward through the ads.

    • Timeloose

      Bob Casey wants to give your hard earned money to Illegal aliens.
      Dave McCormick flies private jets back and forth to his mansions in Conn. Dave is apparently out of touch and wants to give money to fellow fat cats

      • Sean

        And McCormick enriched China!

      • Timeloose

        Bobby Newport’s been handed everything on a silver platter. Sounds like the anti Trump ads by Harris.

        https://youtu.be/_M4BYbjBOJI

    • ron73440

      When my wife watches YouTube, all I hear about is Jen Kiggans and the “Extreme MAGA Republicans”.

      We both hate those ads.

    • Nephilium

      At least I’ve only seen a handful or presidential ads this year (from memory, nearly all for Harris), but every ad break will generally have at least one (usually 2 or more) ads for the Ohio senate race.

      At this point, I’ve reached the educated and correct position that both Sherrod Brown and Bernie Moreno can go fuck themselves, be stripped of all assets, and work as septic tank cleaners.

  3. Not Adahn

    Sometimes a disadvantage works in your favor:

    At the prize table, I was VERY low on the list to walk it. But, there was an expensive race holster still on the table because it (and I) are left-handed.

    • Nephilium

      Pretty sinister.

      • Gender Traitor

        Gauche of you to point that out.

    • Sean

      Neat.

      • Not Adahn

        It is pretty neat. Unfortunately I don’t shoot in divisions that permit that style of holster. I guess I need to buy a gun to go in it. Maybe a 2011 from Bul Armory?

      • Sean

        I had a Bul M5 with the ported barrel. It was ok, but I ended up trading it in a looong time ago.

      • Not Adahn

        To be honest, Bul gets good reviews (especially on the dollars/fun ratio) but the main reason I’m interested in them is their sponsored shooter is hot and flirty.

      • Sean

        Who?

      • Not Adahn

        Some Eastern-European sounding blonde. I have forgotten her name. I might be able to find it by searching the “ladies” category of the results of the match…

      • Not Adahn

        …nope.

  4. R.J.

    “ Writing my weekly essay here helps to keep myself accountable and hopefully some of you readers benefit as well.”

    Glad you discovered this as well. I was pushing for you to continue when you were contemplating ending. I know how beneficial that weekly writing habit is.

  5. Gustave Lytton

    From ded thred re Diddy. Like Epstein, no client list for this sex ring. Unlike nkiavm or Heidi Fleiss.

  6. Ted S.

    I used to be one of the clumsy fools that practiced drinking often. I could drink a lot without being too drunk. Now I do still drink and sometimes I get drunk, but not nearly like I used to. When I am drinking, I do have a habit of eating junk food, but I can live with that since it’s only once a week.

    I’m not well to do, so I couldn’t afford to drink that much more than a glass of wine with dinner. Once in a while a nightcap or wine with dessert on the weekend.

    • Sean

      There needs to be some sort of .gov program to help you get your drink on.

      🥴🥃🇺🇲

  7. Ted S.

    I have to be stoic about not finishing my climb up the mountain and turning back today for time reasons.

    Then again, it’s because I spent substantial time enjoying the scenery at the halfway mark that was the first reason for the hike.

    • Drake

      It’s starting to get nice out there. Looking forward to some good hikes in the Blue Ridge Mountains as it cools down.

    • ron73440

      Gorgeous out there.

      Hope to be walking without crutches again soon.

  8. Tundra

    And then some day, if the occasion for a test really comes, you will enter the lists at a proper time for the sake of discovering whether your sense-impressions still overcome you just as they did before. But first of all flee far away from the things that are too strong for you.

    Boy is that a good one. Even farther along the path it is sometimes difficult to discern what’s gonna wreck you. At the beginning it’s nearly impossible.

    Thanks, Ron.

    • ron73440

      A man’s got to know his limitations.

    • Sean

      Did she carve the turkey too?

      • creech

        We’ll be getting President Harris even before the inauguration? All this really highlights Trump’s mistake in agreeing to a pre-convention debate.

      • MikeS

        CNN reported a few days back that sources say the last cabinet meeting was Oct. 2, 2023. Unreal. And then when he finally has one it’s just a photo opp for his wife.

      • Sean

        I hope they all get Covid.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Although that isn’t the head of the table. The president is centered in the middle of the cabinet table.

      • Gender Traitor

        Are we quite sure he’s there? I have money riding on whether he finishes his term.

      • Drake

        The 11 months thing is shocking too.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Wonder when the last press conference was held.

      • MikeS

        Although that isn’t the head of the table. The president is centered in the middle of the cabinet table.

        Right where Joe can be seen as the camera pans out. This wasn’t a “cabinet meeting” it was a photo opp. According to the official transcript it looks like the only thing done was giving Dr. Grandma Jill a few minutes to blather on about some “important work” she’s supposedly doing.

      • Tundra

        Blather is such a perfect word.

      • Gender Traitor

        Why can’t my employer’s Board meetings only last eight minutes?? ☹️

      • Tundra

        Holy shit!

        Joe’s intro

    • slumbrew

      When your Hilux technical runs out of fuel, you’re a gas-can away from being back in the fight.

      The Tesla, not so much.

    • R.J.

      Elon remotely disabled some Russian warlord’s Cybertruck for doing the same thing.