My Turn!
[Author note – the other issues of AMST are probably worth a read to get full context. #1 – #2 – #3.]
Summer, 1994
By summer, I’m closing in on PQM – and starting to get some of my “X’s” (graded flights) for Attack Helicopter Commander. The upcoming Combined Arms Exercise (CAX-9/10) in July and August at 29 Palms Ground Air Training Center is a Big Deal for the squadron. It’s a Big Deal for the whole Marine Corps, in fact. Twice a year, in February and March, and then July and August, the Marine Corps has these giant 3-week exercises that allows infantry units, light armored vehicles, tanks, jets, helicopters, and artillery engage in an orgy of high-explosive destruction in the high desert near Joshua Tree and north of Palm Springs.
While we can do some training at the ranges north of us near Cherry Point, we can’t fire certain ordnance (like Hellfire laser-guided missiles), there are limited range fans, and shooting at the same half-sunken ship hulks jutting out of the coastal North Carolina waters doesn’t offer a lot of training variety. We often refer to the rather flat, pine-tree forests of North Carolina as a “billiard table.” By comparison, 29 Palms has massive mountain ranges that form canyons, which are very convenient for keeping bombs, rockets, and other high-explosives from going astray and allowing for better fire coordination of all the various supporting arms. There are a variety of Soviet-era tanks hulks and other targets spread throughout all of the various ranges, which allows for a much more fulsome, realistic training environment for all of us. As a consequence, throughout the year, the squadron is careful, though not really frugal, with its Non-Combat Expenditure Allowance (NCEA) – its allotment of ordnance to train our pilots – so that we have plenty of boom-sticks for when we get to 29 Palms each year. Our squadron’s training schedule is built around these exercises.
The whole squadron will load a bunch of our Cobras and Hueys into the back of a C-5, then the personnel will climb up into the seats and we will all fly in that giant aircraft across the country to March Air Force base in California, unload, and we lucky pilots will get to fly in a series of division formations (3 or more aircraft) from March AFB, CA, out to 29 Palms.
“No. No. We’re Not Doing That.”
Before we go, the squadron has a live AIM-9 Sidewinder air-to-air missile to fire.1 The squadron’s Weapons and Tactics Instructor says the only fair way to determine who gets to fire it is by having a knowledge test about the AIM-9 with top 2 scores getting to be a part of the missile shoot. This means for a couple of weeks we’re all finding time to go into 269’s tiny secret compartmented facility (SCIF) to read the SECRET Tactical Manual to get the no-shit classified info on the AIM-9’s capabilities, procedures, etc. No, I do NOT win the test – my good friend and shipmate Clark “Swab” Cox does… I come in second and thus “win” the prize of being the “flare bird.” To be clear, myself and another pilot will be carrying a pod of LUU-2 parachute flares, which come in a big rocket pod that shoots the flares out the back of the pod. I will be flying with Tom “Q” Stone, a Gulf War veteran and senior Captain who is on his very last flight in the squadron; Swab is to fly with Bill “Schlep” Dunn, the WTI.
We brief the plan, which includes me and Q filming the missile shoot for the squadron and posterity. Here’s how it’s supposed to go:2 we fly together out over the Atlantic Ocean, climb up to 7,000 feet MSL, contact Range Control in Virginia, get clearance, and then me and Q will go up to 8500 feet or so, sprint out ahead of Swab and Schlep, then turn around and head right back at them. At 5 miles away or so, we will “poop” out our magnesium parachute flares, which will begin to drop…
We will haul ass straight ahead, then call “Clear” when we get abeam of our lead – so the missile doesn’t accidentally track our exhaust.
After that we are supposed to turn back 180 degrees and join on their wing – Q has the video-camera up front – to record the shoot. Hopefully, the the AIM-9 seeker head will lock onto the heat source of the dropping parachute flares, track, and big kablooie at 3-4 miles.
Because it’s Tom’s last flight in the squadron, and because he is a kind soul who has always been nice to me – and to everyone, actually – I make sure my shit is tight and that I can troubleshoot any problems with the flare pods from the back seat, where I am sitting for this flight.
Everything goes according to plan and Q and I have punched out our flares and are heading inbound toward Bill and Clark. There are a few moments to ponder that we are traveling right at someone who is carrying a “hot” – i.e. live – air-to-air missile. Of course, it’s being carried by each of our respective besties in the squadron, so (relatively) low worry factor.
Right as we get abeam and I start to call “Clear”, Tom “steps” on my radio call by keying the internal cockpit comms (ICS) and saying: “NOT YET. NO.” We’re well past their tail when he finally lets me call “Clear.” I start to turn to join on their tail because, for one, I would really like to see a live Winder come off of their aircraft. For two, that’s what we briefed in the mission.
As I start to try to turn, Tom keys the mic and forces the stick forward:
“No. No… We’re not doing that, Barney. Take us fucking home. And get us down from eight-thousand feet. It’s making my skin crawl.”
His tone is gentle, but brooks no argument. He’s signed for the aircraft and I’m just the guy wiggling the sticks. In fact, I start laughing because the way he says it makes me realize that he never had any intention of dropping in behind them. I ask about the videocamera and he laughs:
“Yeah. Right here” he says and I can see that he hasn’t even taken it out from behind his left shoulder. He never was going to follow Bill’s plan and I can’t help but chuckle.
“This is my last flight in this aircraft ever, Barn, and I am not fuckin’ around.”
“You want to fly us back?” I ask respectfully.
“Nah. You got her. I’d like to just enjoy the ride. Just get us closer to the ground before I shit my pants. Being in a helicopter this high up does not make me comfortable…”
“Roger.” I reply, laughing.
“Wait until you get through with your first deployment. Five-hundred feet will feel like you’re going to the Moon.”
I’m perfectly comfortable at altitude, but I know he is correct. A helicopter’s chief safety advantages are (1) in being able to land in small areas vertically – i.e. we don’t need runway or rollout, and (2) being close to the ground so we can get down quickly if when something goes wrong.
For the rest of the flight home Tom “Q” Stone drops as much helicopter wisdom as he can on me, free of charge. And not the condescending “Old Guy” to “Young Guy” kind of talk; this was a friend and colleague trying to tell a younger brother some things that might serve him well. He talked about his crash the prior year at 29 Palms. While 269 had a fatal mishap (mentioned in AMST 2) that had gotten a lot of coverage, less known was that Tom and another guy had a tail-rotor hydraulic failure while in a hover near Quackenbush Lake. He had an instant to make a decision as his severed hydraulic line led to the helicopter spinning around to cut his own engines to stop the spin and drop to the ground below – an “autorotation” from 100 feet or so. His back was fucked-up as a result of that crash and he was working through the VA disability system.
Neither of us could possibly know or that in 60 days or so that Bill and I would crash in the same exact wash, about 1000m from where Tom had survived his crash.
PostScript and Prologue
Just across the street from the two helicopter training squadrons – HT-8 and HT-18 – at NAS South Whiting Field are the simulator buildings. On a plaque outside is this quote by Harry Reasoner from a piece he wrote in 1971 about helicopter pilots in Vietnam:
The thing is, helicopters are different from airplanes. An airplane by its nature wants to fly, and if not interfered with too strongly by unusual events or incompetent piloting, it will fly. A helicopter does not want to fly. It is maintained in the air by a variety of forces and controls working in opposition to each other. And if there is any disturbance in this delicate balance the helicopter stops flying immediately and disastrously. There is no such thing as a gliding helicopter. That’s why being a helicopter pilot is so different from being an airplane pilot, and why in generality airplane pilots are open, clear-eyed, buoyant, extroverts. And helicopter pilots are brooders, introspective anticipators of trouble. They know if something bad has not happened, it is about to.
1 The AH-1W is the only helo that has an air-to-air missile capability. We don’t generally carry them, but it does give us the ability to shoot at fast-movers if they’re an expected threat.
2 To the best of my recollection. The altitudes might be off a little here or there, but it’s been 3 decades, so cut me some slack.
which includes me and Q filming the missile shoot for the squadron and posterity
And boobs?
‘missile shoot’
Now there’s a euphemism.
https://archive.is/Grh4B/48fd1d1b786fff3bb00dadac2825be1dbc2aee0e.jpg
NSFW.
That should be secured, very tightly secured.
Definitely in danger of a load imbalance if not properly stored
Gives new meaning to “top heavy.”
Harry Reasoner
I have not thought about him in a long time.
Great stuff, thanks for sharing Ozy.
Is this supposed to be AMST-4?
“The whole squadron will load a bunch of our Cobras and Hueys into the back of a C-5”
Let’s just pause a moment on that. I guess I hadn’t thought about how you move helicopters around, but I sure didn’t think it was by loading them onto planes.
Cross continental helo flight? I think I’d rather try my luck on the Oregon trail.
Like so?
https://philip.greenspun.com/blog/2024/05/04/helicopter-from-los-angeles-to-maskachusetts-part-1/
He flew an R44?
That’s equivalent to a chevy chevette cross country.
Ya if one has never toured the inside of a C-5 its nearly unfathomable on the sheer size. Something like 280,000 lbs cargo capacity.
Here are three Apaches loading into one C-5 or it can hold two M1A1 with their crew and all their cargo. Absolutely insane.
Crazy.
A C-5 was my ride to my first deployment. I was assigned to drive a truck (soft-skinned, of course, it was 2004 after all) with a trailer. The problem was that I had zero to no experience driving with a trailer. I worried the whole ride over that I would have a fender-bender with/on an invaluable aircraft trying to back up with a trailer.
Turns out it was a C-5 and they just popped open the other end and we drove straight off.
My last unit was 6th Cavalry (air combat) at Ft Hood, TX
We’d go to White Sands, NM for Apache gunnery.
AH-64 aUH-60 went into the belly of a C-5. Maybe some OH-58 in the space in between.
For some reason I want to say that the Chinooks and Blackhawks did fly there.
Love the meat pillows protecting the rotor and tail as it goes into the C5.
The C-5 has 74 passenger seats on the second deck. They are wide and lean well back. The only odd thing, besides no windows, is that they face to the rear. If it isn’t crowded, you can fold up the arm seats and sleep in a bed. Very nice actually. The only downside is that they don’t have good climate control so bring a sleeping bag or a woobee (poncho liner).
RAF had/has rear facing passenger transports, allegedly because it was safer in a crash. A little weird to watch out the window, but not much different than rear facing on a train.
Flown in C130 web seats from Kuwait to Carson. Fun to say having done it for that distance but much more of a short hop bird.
Ugghh, that is too much fun. I’ve done Cali to Hawaii on a C-130 and Germany to Ft Devens* on a C-130 and those were more than enough fun. KUW to Carson sounds like hell.
*We were warned by the crew that they would be experiencing an “intermittent warning” light during a refuel in Iceland that would take 24 hours to clear- so get some Icelandic currency before we left. Sunnadabitch that is exactly what happened, so we got 24 hours to explore Iceland. We went in the “blue lagoon” before it was commercialized which was fun. The local women shared their booze with us, which was amazingly nice considering what it costs there.
Hah! We had similar at the stopover (and there were several others) at Moron AB. Found something that deadlined the plane. Supposed to be 24 hours or more to fix, so got a day pass to go see Seville (and drink of course). Came back that afternoon to find out that the missing part has been flown in ahead of schedule, replaced, and it’s totally ready to fly transatlantic to Gander.
Thanks for another episode Ozzy
Ha good point.
While technically not gliding, autorotation in effect does allow it to fall like a 1/4 lb of bricks rather than a 1lb of bricks.
a friend who flew H61 for nine years said
once you lose power it flies about like a lunch box
That hit me, too. Thanks, Oxy, for these stories, indeed. Terrifyingly educational. Thought of sending this/others to invite a friend here. She was taking flying lessons and seeing where that’d take her. The scare-factor likely intrigues her more.
I’m not sure how much I trust auto-rotation to alleviate any ‘spin-downward-into-collapse,’ but I’m guessing it should be ‘none.’ A 4th lb of bricks, during auto-rotation, sounds like a FAR worse crunch than the whole pound in free-fall. I’m also totally ignorant, so I’ve got that goin’ for me.
Bad analogy on my part. Auto rotate can work in near perfect conditions…just as Ozy said, all forces are working against you and your airframe and near perfect conditions rarely are the default.
OT… Astonishing if true.
There are some technical errors in that that are glaring if you know. If wrong about those I don’t know what else the author might be wrong about.
Well, what was he wrong about?
First thing, NOFORN means Americans *only* and FVEYS is a separate annotation meaning that material can be shared amongst the five eyes (Yanks, Limeys, Aussies, Canucks, and Kiwis).
The speculation regarding SIPRNET is a bit of a concern as well.
Barring authenticated information, I would advise a high degree of skepticism.
That’s how I feel about most articles in The Economist.
And on topic thanks Ozzy, I’ve been enjoying this series.
I am loving this series.
Thanks, Ozzy!
Tulsi Gabbard joins the Republican Party at Donald Trump rally in North Carolina
So Trump/Vance in 2024
Then Vance/Gabbard in 2028?
She looks good in red.
The New Republic is so much worse than I remember. This page just keeps scrolling through ever more fantastical articles. But the headline that got me to click was
Trump Cancels All His Events in Favor of One of the Worst People Ever
Donald Trump will be sitting down with Joe Rogan.
https://newrepublic.com/post/187405/donald-trump-cancels-events-joe-rogan
That is some major doom scrolling. Right now it’s 50/50 on how it goes.
Trump given 2 hours will probably step into some stupid shit.
Look at the wild eyed optimist here. Look at him!
If OMB had a decent amount of self control this election wouldn’t have stayed a nailbiter. His first failed assassination attempt was a big ol’ gift which he has not used to best effect. He trolls great but I am not sure if that will get him past the limits of “fortification.”
If he wins, he needs to identify somebody he can trust to be his bullshit alarm and LISTEN TO THEM. Except for Gorsuch his picks for the Nazgul are “meh” which puts them ahead of biden’s DEI pick. But the 4th branch, the Dems, the MSM, and the proggies will be coming at him from the moment the race is called, and he can’t afford to waste time like he did 2017-2019/
I am worried about post-election rioting, but like in 2016, and what was expected in 2020, it will be from the left. I was elk hunting in 2016 near Portland and remember the craziness in 2016.
This has nothing to do with OMB. It’s all MSM driven with their commie propaganda 24/7.
Steven Crowder confronts smarmy piece of shit Jay Varma.
It seems incredibly easy to honeypot these people.
Also, his attempt to deflect are rage inducing. The guy is a sociopath.
I cant tell if serious.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-13990243/elon-musk-ex-grimes-gay-pregnant.html
Well, she went back for two more so yeah.
OFFS. I wonder if his other 8 or 9 kids were named by him or his other baby-mamas.
(-.-)
I hate these carrier games.
Amazon gives me a UPS tracking number.
UPS says the box is fifteen minutes down the road with an estimated delivery of friday but may be delayed because of weather. It’s sunny and slightly overwarm, the least likely to delay a delivery driver of the weathers we get.
Oh, but it’s not actually being carried by UPS. Hidden away on a second tab of a popup link on their site is a USPS tracking number, because UPS never had the box. It’s not fifteen minutes down the road, it’s in New Jersey, having come from Florida.
Had I just gotten the USPS number from the word go, I wouldn’t have been confused as to why the box wasn’t moving for days. (It was moving, but UPS doesn’t bother to try to track someone else’s box)
I think you need to work on your rants.
What’s next? That patch of grass isn’t as green as it should be?
😛
Related: we got an Amazon warehouse on the outside of town. I can now get some things delivered the same day.
Neener, neener.
Same day, one day, two day, it all depends where the box originates. Welcome to the party, pal.
Happy hump day morning!
🐪🖖🙃☕
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xqovGKdgAXY
🎶🎶
You’re high, aren’t you?
On life.
Good morning, Sean, ‘bodru, U, OBE, and homey!
Morning, how goes?
So far, so good. Still keeping most cold symptoms at bay and slowly getting caught up at work, though I can tell we’re about to get into the year-end busy season. How about you?
Morning
How are things across the river, OBE?
Quiet and dry. See there is a chance of some rain Friday but otherwise nice. Gearing up for Halloween as according to our neighbors, we are on a street where plenty of goblins will be seeking candy. Probably plan on opening the garage, putting out a firepit and passing out candy while the dogs go nuts inside. Mrs OBE wants to be Thing One, dress the little dog as Thing Two and I opted to just be the Dr. S. himself.
I managed to calm down a bit yesterday by putting on a video that was just 24 hours of rain sounds over an animated vista of a rainty scene out a window, then doing rote testing for work stuff.
It didn’t fix the underlying problem, but it helped.
This morning, I still don’t want to hear the sound of human voices, so the office chatter down the row of cubes is bugging me.
OBE, the Mrs. couldn’t convince you to be The Cat in the Hat?
U, whatever helps you cope. That video sounds like just the thing. (Some underlying problems aren’t easily solved.) Too bad you can’t get away with some soothing sounds via earbuds when you’re in-office.
They stopped talking while I was reading hard drive reviews (I saw a spinning platter drive up to 24 TB on one disk and have ever since been tempted to upgrade my NAS at home)
😶😶
😁👍
I want to say that the 24TB disk has more storage than my whole NAS, but that gets into the weeds. I have mirrored disks in there so while it has ~14 TB usable space, there’s ~28TB of drives.
The quiet was nice while it lasted, but annoying accent woman got on a phone call. (Some accents just grate on the nerves.)
Well, time to commute – rant some more when I get to the office.
We’re approaching peak fall foliage and I’m gonna be wearing shorts again today.
😲🩳🌞🍂
Yep…it’s election season.
These are the times in past when you were glad everything wasn’t documented on socials.
Yikes. #fail
I question the distances they are going for with the firearm(s) they are using especially with steel targets. Their benches are a gd mess and has all the hallmarks of ‘put every firearm we have on the bench for the photo op!’
I don’t question down range because most likely its clear but I would always be weary of a homemade range without a berm of some sorts. Too many variables left open. This isn’t to say that the political right don’t do stupid shit like this too though.
“We assume everyone else is as untrustworthy with firearms as we are, which is why we oppose their possession.”
There’s just so very much wrong there. Rifles at that distance. Steel at that distance. The dump on the bench.
OBE, I really don’t recall seeing anything from a non-Dem that was nearly as stupid a stunt as this, but maybe that’s just my bubble.
Did he learn to shoot from that Navy commander?
No; someone in the Minnesoda National Guard.
Lordy, they had containers of tannerite on their bench. They’re going to get their Darwin Awards yet if they keep that up.
The Dems must be desperate AF
My pipe dream is that whoever gets in immediately passes election integrety laws and cracks down hard on the fraud machines.
Mostly because I expect things would look very different without fraud.
suh’ fam
whats goody
Posted this yesterday in the wrong thread, Theo Von doing an extended interview with JD Vance:
https://youtu.be/vd8mmTDDqAs?si=u6K1SLYRAFlSP73h
Vance seems like a decent enough guy and definitely quick on his feet.
The original Substack article on the “Kill Musk’s Twitter” stuff and all the other odious things that come with it:
https://disinformationchronicle.substack.com/p/election-exclusive-british-advisors
The NGO complex, which serves as nothing but a smokescreen to allow governments to exercise influence in an extralegal manner, must be smashed.
Seems since being exposed, they have accelerated their timeline.