Blackenstein

by | Oct 17, 2024 | Film, Fun, GlibFlick | 114 comments

Blackenstein

I shall open with a quote from Movies and Mania, which doesn’t see fit to identify their authors:

An uneasy mix of styles – 1930s Frankenstein lab action one minute, H.G. Lewis-style gore close-ups and gratuitous naughtiness the next – Blackenstein is probably near the bottom of the blaxploitation barrel, badly acted, flatly directed by William A. Levey and slow-moving.

Yet, it’s much more entertaining than the bigger budget Blacula, having a quaintness and odd charm that somehow pulls it through despite all the faults. 

Exactly right. Could not have said it better myself. This is a true bullseye of a bad yet entertaining film. And few people bother to see it, they just read reviews which slam it and then never even bother to watch it themselves. So tonight, I bring it to you. It has a little T&A, and some butcher store budget gore thrown in as well. My other caveat is that all the action happens in the second half of the movie, so if you get bored, just jump to halfway.

I have some trivia! From IMDB:

According to special effects makeup artist William Munns in an interview conducted for the 2024 Kino Blu-ray edition of The Boogens, the lead actor of Blackenstein, Joe De Sue, was charged with first degree murder. His defence lawyer Frank Saletri, the producer of Blackenstein, got him an acquittal on the charge, so De Sue appeared as the monster in the film to repay the favor. 

Even more interesting: Frank R. Saletri, the writer/producer (and lawyer), was killed in a supposed mob hit at his home a decade later. Breaking Bad stuff!

So watch! Or don’t! Everything is voluntary! If you still don’t believe me, see below. Next week, we continue Every Week is Halloween with a new film! Cryptic! I really enjoyed Cryptic a week or so ago and I wanted to play it here. It’s a tension filled mystery. Definitely not my usual.

Help! I Don’t Want to Talk About Movies!

This is Thursday night! There are no limits. Nobody is going to scold you if you first on an article with another topic here. This is your place for anarcho-libertarianism. Talk about other subjects and have a good time. BY GOOD TIME MEAN…

About The Author

R.J.

R.J.

Hello. My name is R.J. I am a Tulpa with extra cheese and sour cream.

114 Comments

  1. Common Tater

    I love the inclusion of the subtitle, “The Black Frankenstein” just in case I couldn’t figure that out.

  2. Aloysious

    Gratuitous naughtiness? My favorite kind.

    *judo chops play button*

  3. R.J.

    Everyone enjoy the secret video tonight, “IGORRR: VERY NOISE.”
    It was made four years ago before the big AI craze set in.

      • R.J.

        Funny enough, there was a plan for a whole series of films, with Blackenstein and Dr. Jeckyl, Mr. Black, etc… All of the ideas were shelved after the dismal performance of Blackenstein.

    • R.J.

      Oh yes. There were two, starring Pee Wee Herman’s King of Cartoons, a former Shakespearean actor. They were classy. Hence I am playing Blackenstein.

      • Ted S.

        William Marshall, who was also in a memorable episode of the original Star Trek.

      • R.J.

        “M-5 is great! I am great!”

      • Ted S.

        The first Blacula also has a small part for Elisha Cook, one of the great character actors.

    • Common Tater

      Wasn’t there a black vampire movie with Eddie Murphy?

      • R.J.

        Yes, Vampire in Brooklyn. Last time I saw that was at an outdoor theater here:

        https://screamspark.com/

      • Common Tater

        I can’t get that website to load.

      • R.J.

        Maybe no one outside of Texas is allowed to see the glory of five haunted houses, bars, Scaryoke and a movie theater in one place?

      • Common Tater

        That sounds awesome. Unfortunately, some sites block VPN’s. Although I got a couple different errors.

  4. Ted S.

    Blackenstein is probably near the bottom of the blaxploitation barrel, badly acted, flatly directed by William A. Levey and slow-moving.

    I think the bottom of the blaxploitation barrel would probably be Abar: Black Superman, which I think you did a post on. (I know I’ve suggested it before.)

    • R.J.

      I sure did!

      • slumbrew

        That was a weird one.

  5. Aloysious

    Needz moar Ivory Stone.

  6. DEG

    BY GOOD TIME MEAN…

    The brain ship reminded me of the NOSE DIVE ship from “Heavy Metal”.

    Diving into the main feature….

  7. Common Tater

    A drug that makes you look like you play for the Bengals? Now, that is evil.

    • R.J.

      So true.

      • Ted S.

        Funny how it seems.

      • rhywun

        Ted’S – you’re supposed to draw attention to music that isn’t fantastic.

  8. Aloysious

    Nice legs.

  9. R.J.

    Cortical Death is a great band name.

  10. Common Tater

    For some reason, I don’t trust retarded Lou Rawls.

    • Common Tater

      Looks like I was right.

  11. Aloysious

    For the life of me, I am failing at understanding why Blackenstein is wearing such nice shiny shoes.

    • R.J.

      At one point in his life, he was hep.
      Or maybe not. I mean, he had no legs. Maybe his girlfriend bought them for him once he had feet again?

      • Aloysious

        I wonder if he played that funky music?

        He can keep a beat.

  12. R.J.

    At this point, I would say a lot of the gore was cut out of this edition.

    • Common Tater

      Maybe that was in the extended version?

      I’m only about 27 minutes in, as I had other stuff to do.

  13. Tres Cool

    Dr. Stein looks suspiciously like Reuben Kincaid.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      He’s the illegitimate love child of Omar Sharif and Dick van Dyke.

  14. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Boobies!

    • Tres Cool

      Finally. Took em long enough.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        I’m only 16 minutes on. How much longer do I have to watch for the payoff?

      • R.J.

        Jump to just beyond halfway and spare yourself.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        These are not the boobies I was looking for.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        There they are.

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      Boobies!

      Oh , baby, you KNOW what I like.

  15. DEG

    So Malcolm got the lady doc in the end.

  16. DEG

    Thanks RJ! Time to head to bed.

    • R.J.

      I will have to as well. Long day of driving and paperwork ahead.

  17. Evan from Evansville

    Sorry but semi-OP: Blackenstein. “fabulous.” Um. Hrm. *furrows brow, adds check to Lists-ev’s-On*

    • R.J.

      Speaking of lists, I wanted to address what MikeS found. There is a lawsuit against TUBI for sharing demographics with advertisers without appropriately notifying customers.

      https://www.kgw.com/article/news/verify/settlements-verify/yes-there-is-a-tubi-app-settlement/536-f0ee7574-b410-496b-ae71-33b6a7ca2279

      Still sketchy, as you know darn well they are going to cater ads to your tastes. But it is real. The only info they ever had was your email (if you log in), and your movie tastes, and approximate location.

      • R.J.

        I feel sorry for whatever idiot has to analyze my account for ads. Tubi sent me an email and let me know I have 606 movies in queue, and 91 started. Good luck analyzing that, folks!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1tj2zJ2Wvg

      • R.J.

        CONTINUE WATCHING
        TOO GOOD NOT
        TO FINISH
        Pick up right where you left off. 91 titles are waiting.

        MY LIST
        “WILL I FINALLY WATCH IT TONIGHT?”
        What My List pick will you watch today? Stream your 606 saved titles now.

      • MikeS

        I signed up for giggles.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Fuck! Ha. The semi-OP cart was deleted…
      I watched most of the Harris on Fox ‘interview.’ Jesus. Unknown Unknowns are terrifying. But I find KNOWING her vacuous evil, with the unknown anticipation and anxiety of what/ if/ and how her banal insidiousness will (attempt to) be implemented — to be far more unnerving. The constant worry of “How much fucking worse will this continue to keep getting?

      She is the Blackenstein ‘we’ hope to not ‘share.’ We will be unburdened by stress of what burdened us before, now burdened by what we worried would continue to burden us, and further burdened by what we wished not to be burdened by in the first place. And so much more.

      • rhywun

        She is going to be worse than Joe having been being completely non compos mentis for the last six to forty-eight months of his administration.

      • Common Tater

        If she wins, it’s going to be like Obama, where no one is going to criticize her, comedians won’t make fun of her, etc. because of identity politics — double, because she is both a person of color and a woman.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Triple! She’s two minorities plus a woman!

  18. Chipping Pioneer

    This is a damning indictment of big pharma.

    • R.J.

      Well spotted. I should have pointed that out. A missed opportunity!

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      Pfizer was always at war with either Eurasia or Eastasia.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Silence. Bow before Bayer and His Son Heroin. Far more supreme than the Coca-Cola echelon of branding. Through times, slang, linguistic and legal terminology of all opioids, Heroin lives on.

      Damn. *Raises FIST of POWER*

      • rhywun

        Opioids make me projectile vomit. Thank goodness.

  19. DrOtto

    Roosevelt Jackson may be the blackest name ever to appear in a film credit.

    • rhywun

      LOL

  20. MikeS

    Hello! I’m getting drunk.

    First!

    • slumbrew

      You’re not even the first drunk Glib.

      You may be worse than Nikki.

      • MikeS

        Ugh. Mikki is the worst

    • Common Tater

      Pretty sure the first to get drunk was several thousand years ago.

  21. Chipping Pioneer

    Well, that was something.

  22. MikeS

    Yeah, the 90’s have left the building, but goddamn these guys should have been bigger in the states.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      Unpopular opinion:

      They were never going to be big in the States.

      Gord was so far inside his own head that it came across as talking over Americans’ heads so as to condescend to them.

      It’s a common Canadian attitude that is far too common and that I hate.

      • MikeS

        Yeah, you’re probably right. I’m terrible for not actually listening closely to lyrics. But the musicianship was excellent.

    • rhywun

      Huh I remember CFNY playing them all the time but it’s just not up my alley. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      • MikeS

        Yeah, I don’t mean to say they were ignored down here. Just that I thought they should have gotten more attention.

      • rhywun

        Oh, they were completely ignored in the US. I lived in Buffalo where we got the Toronto radio station I mentioned 🙂

        I have no idea what they were “about”, so to speak. I just don’t care for the music.

        FWIW there are many, many Canadian bands I did grow to like during that time.

  23. Common Tater

    Should I buy a weed grinder?

    • MikeS

      Yes

    • rhywun

      Nothing terribly surprising. Lots of LP die-hards, lots of TDS, and some honest Dems.

      *plotz*

      • Rat on a train

        LP die-hards or “I’m voting L because I’m not in a swing state. Otherwise I would vote D.”

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, put Massie or Rand Paul on the LP ticket and there’ll be an article on the libertarian case for not voting for the Libertarian. They’re largely leftists who like the 1st amendment and maybe lower taxes.

      • Suthenboy

        I am not so sure about that 1stA and lower taxes bit. If it came right down to it they would start channelling Hillary Clinton.

        They are children who think everything would be rainbows and butterflies if everyone would just see things their way. In the end that always means authoritarianism. They are in denial about that.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I’d say Reason should enjoy their slide into irrelevancy but what slide? Oliver is hot garbage and the libertarian case for Harris simply doesn’t exist but at this point Retard Magazine’s website primarily exists on rage clicks anyway.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        On the other hand the usual gang of assholes is nailing them in the comments. Maybe there’s still hope? (there isn’t)

      • rhywun

        It’s telling that the LP candidate couldn’t even get on the ballot in my state (and apparently some others). I think that is called a slide into irrelevancy too.

    • PieInTheSky

      ” If I were eligible to vote, I wouldn’t choose any major-party candidate. Donald Trump’s refusal to accept the 2020 election result is a huge red flag for me, as I fled Venezuela in part because the dictator, Nicolás Maduro, refused to acknowledge the election results and transfer power.”

      lol

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        “If I were eligible to vote” etc.
        Talk about a public (non)decision devoid of any consequences whatsoever. Way to make a principled stand my guy.

      • Suthenboy

        “And for my next trick I will make this premise turn into a flying elephant!”

    • Suthenboy

      They were always poised to be the Babylon Bee of political philosophy/commentation but just cant bring themselves to do it. There is so much low hanging fruit out there. As Don said last night more discussion of first principles is always in order. They just couldn’t do that either. That would reveal just how far the establishment has strayed and they dont want to fall out too far with them. So you get “LP die-hards, lots of TDS, and some honest Dems.”. I always smelled closet commies there and the only reason I stuck around was the commentariat. It was their pettiness that finally drove me away and I have not deigned to go back since.
      I dont need to go look, what I find will be the least surprising thing I will learn today.

      For a while I had hopes for Spiked! but they seem to have the same affliction to some degree. One or two writers that get it right once in a while and some of the commentariat that aren’t complete idiots but it surprises me how wide the cultural divide is, at least for me.

    • Ted S.

      Embrace the power of “and”.

  24. Donny Three-Fingers (KJ5GQR)

    Good morning everyone! Chugging covefe in prep for digging the foundation hole for the new sectional flagpole. Not looking forward to hand-mixing 600# of concrete, but looking at the neighbor’s setup, our wind loads demand it. Might hire someone to mix and pour it.

    • Donny Three-Fingers (KJ5GQR)

      Also, if you like ELO, go see the Jeff Lynne tour. One of the top 3 shows I’ve seen.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Mixing concrete sounds like perfectly cromulent orphan work. Or are they busy in your cobalt mines?

      • Donny Three-Fingers (KJ5GQR)

        They live too far away. And have full-time jobs. Our grandkids are too young, so it falls on me. Got a nice 4×6 foot Betsy Ross flag for national occasions, and the Republic of Texas flag for normal use. Sold it to the CFO by getting the LED light kit for Christmas to hoist on it. Designing my own Jolly Roger for when it’s time to spit on hands, slit throats etc.

    • Ted S.

      Relevant music:

      m.youtube.com/watch?v=1QpJt4Y-HUY&pp=ygUaZ2VvcmdlIGJ1cm5zIGZpeGluZyBhIGhvbGU%3D

  25. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    yo whats goody

    TALL (STINKY) CANS!

    /Im testing at a wastewater treatment plant

    • Ted S.

      The tall cans are full of wastewater?

  26. The Gunslinger

    Good morning.
    I was not aware that Kamala snubbed some traditional roast of presidential candidates.

    https://www.steynonline.com/14707/kamala-lightens-up

    Trump apparently had some good lines.

    – “I used to think Democrats were crazy for saying that men have periods. But then I met Tim Walz.”

    Happy Friday!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Trump’s a funny guy, no doubt.

  27. Fourscore

    Morning All, another nice day scheduled. Two days of wind, leaves have been falling, colors are fading on the oaks and maples. Fall is here, can winter be far behind?

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, 4(20), Stinky, ‘slinger, Ted’S., homey, rhy, Donny 3-F, OBJF, and Sean, and good afternoon, Pie!

      • Gender Traitor

        …and Roat!

      • UnCivilServant

        Morning.

        I just called out from work, though my malady is self inflicted sleep issues.

        🙁

      • The Gunslinger

        Morning GT. Long day of counting piles of cash at the CU ahead for you today?

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, U! Hope you can use today and the weekend to get your sleep schedule back on track!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Sounds like a good morning to wash down a couple Benadryl with a decaf Irish coffee UCS. Sleep problems are the worst.

      • Gender Traitor

        Ackshually, ‘slinger, I’ve been on vacation all week! (Taking my annually-mandated full week off, as I hadn’t since last year’s Honey Harvest. Rule in place to try to keep “insiders” from hiding any financial shenanigans.) And the only cash they let me count is the stuff people put in the “honor system” box in the break room for snacks and drinks.

        How’s it going with you? (Sorry ’bout the Tigers!)