IFLA: The “Frisky!” Edition of the Horoscope for the week of October 13

by | Oct 14, 2024 | IFLA | 85 comments

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Due to editorial slackness, IFLA was not scheduled for its usual Sunday afternoon slot this week. The column will return to its normal slot next week. Apologies to NA and the regular readers of the column.]

The cooler weather increases Lily’s energy level.

She always gets ganged up on.

The problem with the outer planets going retrograde is that they stay that way for a long time. And when we’re talking about one of the few good planets (Jupiter) it kind of casts a pall on things. Like now. We’ve still got that Mars-Jupiter retrograde-Sun thing going on, though it breaks up by the end of the week. Prior to that though, expect your basic anarcho-tyranny with a sprinkling of mostly peaceful activism. We just miss Mercury getting involved with that about Friday-ish, so that is a rare case of things not being as bad as they could be. Still, expect more suckage until *checks charts* February 4?

Monday is lucky for Scorpios, or possibly on Monday scorpions will make a nest in your house. Friday is a good date night for Sagittarians, but a warning for everyone else to be honest with their romantic partners.

Lily is smart enough to understand that the collar gives her leverage for the takedown.

Libra: The High Priestess reversed – Light, truth, the unravelling of involved matters, public rejoicings, vacillation.

Scorpio: 10 of Coins reversed -Chance, fatality, loss, robbery, games of hazard; sometimes gift, dowry, pension.

Sagittarius: The Queen of Cups – Loving intelligence, vision, success, happiness, pleasure, wisdom, virtue.

Capricorn: Wheel of Fortune reversed – Increase, abundance, superfluity.

Aquarius: 7 of Cups – Illusions, fantasies, temporary successes.

Pisces: 10 of Cups – Contentment, repose of the entire heart, perfection of human love and friendship.

Aries: 9 of Cups reversed – Truth, loyalty, liberty, mistakes, imperfections.

Taurus: 2 of Wands – Riches, fortune, magnificence, physical suffering, disease, chagrin, sadness, mortification. 

Gemini: 8 of Swords – Bad news, violent chagrin, crisis, censure, power in trammels, conflict, calumny, sickness.

Cancer: Knight of Coins – Utility, serviceableness, interest, responsibility, rectitude.

Leo: Death – End, mortality, destruction, corruption, the loss of a benefactor.

Virgo: Ace of swords reversed – Disastrous use of force.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

85 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: The Queen of Cups – Loving intelligence, vision, success, happiness, pleasure, wisdom, virtue.

    Now you’re just making shit up.

    • The Other Kevin

      Of course it’s late the one week we get a good one, and we miss out on a whole day of loving intelligence.

  2. Shpip

    Pisces: 10 of Cups – Contentment, repose of the entire heart, perfection of human love and friendship.

    GlibsCruise isn’t until next week, but I’ll take this a week early, thanks.

    • Shpip

      Also, we have a comet visible from North America right now.

      Is this a sign of good luck, or a harbinger of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! Astrologers outta know these things, right?

      • Not Adahn

        It’s the doomy one.

  3. Sean

    I feel like I should be grilling steaks now…

    • juris imprudent

      So a day ending with a “y”?

  4. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    I (Aries) have a date on Saturday with a Taurus. Maybe there will be some blue balls involved?

    • Shpip

      Maybe there will be some blue balls involved?

      Maybe you’ll mess with the bull and get the… you know, the thing!

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Wait, is it with Billy D. Williams?

      He knew all about Blue Bulls…

  5. Mythical Libertarian Woman

    Many apologies to Not Adahn for off-topic so early on in your post, but I wanted to get this in early to increase the odds of any editors who may be lurking of seeing this since email is hit-and-miss? I am still not back to 100% (and I have work to catch up on from being sick), so is it okay if I extend the MLJ mid-season break? Also, in addition to my health, Mythelina is one of those Instagram Halloween Girlies and since it’s Spooky Ramadan she refuses to watch non-Halloween programming and we haven’t watched episodes 6-8 yet, so if I came back this week I’d probably just have to delay again because I ain’t watching this shit by myself. So is it good with the editors and Glibertariat if we resume MLJ on November 7? That way I can get ep. 5 queued up in advance and have time to sit down with Mythelina and watch the rest of the episodes without interfering with her 24/7 Halloween programming. Let me know if that’s okay!

    • Tonio

      Of course. Feel better.

      “Mythelina” for the win.

      Sorry about the hit-or-miss.

      • Mythical Libertarian Woman

        Thank you! No worries, you guys are volunteers—I just wanted to make sure someone definitely saw it! Okay, I will be back with more torture for everyone in November!

      • Sean

        And we’re all looking forward to it.

        🙂

      • Evan from Evansville

        I also strongly applaud Mythelina and eagerly await more.

        It’s brilliantly described, though I know not If I have the capacity to watch an EP or three or the whole season… Your work is far more enjoyable. *doffs cap*

    • juris imprudent

      You catch up on that whenever you feel able to subject yourself to it again.

    • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

      Get well, you Mythical Being!

    • Rat on a train

      Halloween programming is less traumatic.

  6. The Other Kevin

    By the way, last week’s for Mrs. TOK was pretty accurate: “Riches, fortune, magnificence, physical suffering, disease, chagrin, sadness, mortification.”

    She played roller derby on Saturday, and though it was a very close game, they lost in OT (thanks to a questionable call from a ref at the end). And now she’s feeling beat up.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe there will be some blue balls involved?

    *blows whistle, throws flag*

    Unsportsmanlike conduct. Fifteen yards for taunting.

    • Evan from Evansville

      This Taurus chuckles and nods.

  8. R.J.

    On behalf of DEG I will say that Leo is sufficiently shitty.
    The nice lizard that was in my garage got run over and died. I am hoping that is the extent of the end and mortality.

    • Sean

      He was just trying to sell you some insurance. 🙁

    • DEG

      Dammit, you beat me to it.

      • R.J.

        I guess I was a little quick on the draw at 16 minutes. I was avoiding work.

    • Rat on a train

      At least it isn’t the week of the election.

      • R.J.

        Good point. Are we going to get a special Presidential election reading?

  9. The Late P Brooks

    Joy and Justice economy

    Harris’ announcement is aimed at increasing her support among Black male voters, and comes in the final weeks of an extremely close race between the Democratic vice president and Republican former President Donald Trump.

    The plan outlined Monday would provide 1 million fully forgivable loans of up to $20,000 to Black entrepreneurs and others to start a business. The loans would be financed through partnerships between “mission-driven lenders,” community oriented banks and the Small Business Administration, the campaign said.

    The agenda also includes training and mentorship programs to help Black men get jobs in high-demand industries, and greater investments in the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program to recruit and retain Black male teachers.

    We’re living in a fantasy world.

    • The Other Kevin

      Wow, she’s got some great ideas! We just need to get a Democrat back in the White House so she can see them through!

    • Sean

      She didn’t promise them free menthol cigarettes yet?

      • rhywun

        LOL

      • Evan from Evansville

        Also, legit LOL from me.

        It was hilarious and predictably for them to *immediately* backtrack taxing extra on menthols, recently. Goodnight, my-oh-me, why?

    • The Other Kevin

      What is a “forgivable loan”? Isn’t that just a check?

      • Sean

        You can’t buy malt liquor with it.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        It’s reparations.

    • pistoffnick (370HSSV)

      Only to black men?

      How is that not racist?

      • Rat on a train

        Like they care.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        It isn’t like they will give back the votes if they lose the lawsuit.

    • B.P.

      Surely this isn’t constitutional. Also, $20K? Inflation is really hitting new highs. It only cost like $2K to buy a single vote in that 2020 Georgia Senate runoff election.

    • Evan from Evansville

      Wow.
      a. Sign of desperation in the election/polls to quite-openly give out $20k to black folk for free.
      b. Sign of tragedy it theoretically could (kinda) work. Who says no to free money? (Fuck inflation and later losses.)

      I strongly endorse more desperate reaches out from Team Blue. Her Walz-as-a-Man’s-Man ad was hilarious enough, no need to ridicule further. It worries me Fortification could be insane enough to both (a) be successful and taken as Normal; and (b) The People might get rightfully furious. Gives me hope with much pause. Still haven’t revealed to my family I’m voting for Trump for the first time this year. I won’t bring it up, but I doubt I’ll lie.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “It’s a secret ballot, isn’t it?”

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Lie, change subject, deflect, demur; as many as necessary. They are unlikely to extend to you the tolerance that you show toward them.

    • Suthenboy

      So…racist as fuck and illegal. Also, a lie. That money will just go into the trough she and her friends are slopping out of.

    • rhywun

      training and mentorship programs

      Why has no one thought of this before?!

  10. Evan from Evansville

    Taurus: 2 of Wands – Riches, fortune, magnificence, physical suffering, disease, chagrin, sadness, mortification.
    Although “Terminated” from last plasma center, I interview with another one tomorrow. It looks far fancier, as their locations suggest. It would be difficult for me to *not* get this gig. I strongly approve. ‘Twill be interesting.

    I’ll take the Wands’ Front Three will strongly overpower the blahblah’d negatives added at the end. Bench players who embarrass themselves in public. See also: ‘Our’ Incompetent Triumvirate of Biden-Harris-Walz.

    • Evan from Evansville

      That WTF typo/mis-edit of a first sentence is a great way to swiftly get the chagrin+ outta the equation.

      *I was “Terminated” from Octapharma Plasma Center. I interview with a new one, Versiti, tomorrow afternoon. It looks far…
      The one I directly applied to is in Fancy Town, another is nearby anyway, and HQ is also swank and pretty close to my bro’s.

    • EvilSheldon

      Lame. Those look more like the Vessel from Hollow Knight.

    • Suthenboy

      Proggies see racism in everything. They see racism in the freakin’ weather FFS.
      My new mommie (father’s fourth wife. Fifth? I cant keep up with them) was once accused of being a racist because she hung her jackets on white plastic coat hangers. Yep.

    • MikeS

      The canceled candle has appeared on eBay, however, with one person attempting to sell the candle for $350. The website’s policies ban listings that include racist terms or language, however the candle will remain on eBay since it’s not explicitly racist.

      It’s not any kind of racist you fucking retards. Goddam these people.

      • Tundra

        I know there was someone who noticed before it went into production. I want to buy that person a beer.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Experts are baffled

    Trump is doing events in Colorado, California, Illinois and New York — states that are virtually impossible for him to win. “President Joe Biden won those states by an average of 20 points in 2020, with his 13-point Colorado win the closest,” NBC News reports. “And Colorado is the only one of those states to have voted for a Republican presidential nominee this millennium, backing George W. Bush in 2004.”

    What is Trump thinking? As always, it’s impossible to know — or whether he even is thinking. The former president has shown signs that suggest declining mental acuity, and his rhetorical patterns are more discursive and difficult to follow.

    How unsophisticated, to waste time and energy on your supporters in “lost cause’ states.

    His brain is mush.

    • B.P.

      Why, his appearance in Colorado was such a failure, it received lots of national media coverage, was talked about extensively on the Sunday shows, etc.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      1) Highlights failures of Dem governance. 2) Helps down ballot races. 3) Media travels nationwide now. 4) Makes Harris expend resources on states that should be safe. 5) Gets money from donors. 6) Wants turnout in lost states to get popular vote.

      Those are just off the top of my head, but what do I know? I’m no expert.

    • Suthenboy

      What they say is always more informative about them than about their enemies. Zeesham Aleen just told us outright that Kammy’s strategy is “Red State? Fuck them.”
      She probably got the advice from the Hildebeast.

    • Urthona

      You know I’m the furtherest from a Trump
      Apologist here. Don’t care for the man.

      But I think it was actually shrewd.

      Do rallies actually convert attendees to voters? I very much doubt it. They either already are or never will be.

      That purpose of that visit was to highlight the absolutely bullshit thing that happened in Colorado under Kamala’s (Biden’s) watch and get national media attention on it.

      Worked.

      And the California visit? In drivable range for two swing states. Nevada and Arizona. 4-6 hours may seem like a long drive to east coasters but to the rest of us that’s nothing.

      But also, see above.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    I will be back with more torture for everyone in November!

    Oh, goody.

    • Fourscore

      “Bite me, Kick me, Hit me” said the masochist to her boy friend.

      “No” said her sadist boy friend

      • EvilSheldon

        Q: Why does the masochist hang out with the sadist?

        A: Beats the hell out of me?

  13. Not Adahn

    I know Pie is a Scorpio (though he uses metric astrology so he thinks he was born under the sign of the crawdad.)

    Anyone found a nest of scorpions?

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Were the constellations the same when Pie was turned?

  14. juris imprudent

    Taibbi has been sneaking in here to crib from SF

    The “White Dudes For Harris” model of self-flagellating beta-male, standing mute and service-ready with Gimp-style ballgag in its mouth while the Kamala-led DNC drums fingers on its head

    • juris imprudent

      One by one, the actors recite, almost in homage to Stanley Kubrick’s I’m Spartacus! scene, “I love women!” But they’re all still wearing their ironic Village People costumes and hamming the delivery, so you don’t believe any of them. It’s camp without libido, which I didn’t think was possible. The only hint of eroticism comes with Gingham Man says he’s not afraid to be emotional “in front of my horse,” then pauses to look longingly at the horse (the script surely reads something like Looks longingly at horse). In a 90-second ad a pause is a lifetime, so there’s a point, but what? It looks like regret that he can’t fuck the horse anymore. Because he supports Harris/Walz? Even that feels like bad trade.

      • ZWAK, doktor of BRAIN SCIENCE!

        But! if Kamalamadingdong wins, the Whorris will fuck him!

      • Shpip

        The whole thing reminds me of the Gillette “Toxic Masculinity” ad from 2019 that cost the company millions in sales.

        The problem with the Gillette ad was that the ad’s writer based it only on her interactions with big-city third-world machismo types — which were all she knew.

        This ad features a bunch of mincing metrosexuals doing stereotypical “guy stuff” that the writer has no actual experience with (and of course most of the actors are gay men), because that’s all he can think of to reach out to the deplorables that he’d never deign to associate with in real life.

        I don’t think the Kamala ad is going to blow up in the campaign’s face the way that the Gillette ad cost Proctor & Gamble hundreds of millions of dollars, simply because none of the ad’s targets were going to vote for her anyway.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    That money will just go into the trough she and her friends are slopping out of.

    Social activist non profits and community organizing totally count as “entrepreneurship”.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Like when Lucy and Ethel wanted travel funds and formed a phony charity called Ladies’ Overseas Aid.

    • B.P.

      Daptone Records brings it.

  16. Mojeaux

    Taurus: 2 of Wands – Riches, fortune, magnificence, physical suffering, disease, chagrin, sadness, mortification.

    The WHOLE wheel of fortune. Yay.

      • MikeS

        Wheel of Fortune

        Make sure and watch all the way to the end.

      • R.J.

        What a mistake.
        Everyone knows that people who steal chicken nuggets off of other people’s plates are called “nuggers.”

    • Evan from Evansville

      Yep. I was thrilled with the first page. Nailed the ending. Figured I didn’t need the rest, so I tossed it.

      Brevity means much.

  17. pan fried wylie

    AlexinCT on October 14, 2024 at 8:47 am

    The fact that we keep pretending China is not at war with us baffles me.

    The fact that Russia keeps pretending we’re not at war with them baffles me.

    • MikeS

      The fact that Russia keeps pretending we’re not at war with them baffles me.

      They both baffle me, but that one baffles me more.

      • juris imprudent

        No, I get it. They only have one real play in a straight up war with us, and they don’t survive either.

      • Drake

        The neo-cons / libs have an order to do things.

        First Russia – they are just about done losing that war. Then Iran, which will bring in Russia. Then China.

        They have to wait their turn.

    • Tundra

      Populists on the right distrust institutions these days, but the left has long understood that institutions are essential to marshal the resources for long battles and transmit principles to the next generation. Chip Mellor built a principled institution that will last.

      RIP, hero.

      • slumbrew

        That’s sad news – what a great impact he made. Along with The FIRE, one of the few organizations that I feel like they’re making a real difference with their donations. They’re doing a whole lot for “only” having a $47MM budget.

        Just made an off-cycle donation to them in his memory (and will still give my usual at the end of the year).