IFLA: The “Most Boring Horoscope Ever” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of October 27

by | Oct 27, 2024 | IFLA | 68 comments

It is often said that there is nothing new under the sun. Sometimes there is nothing new above the earth. Yes, the moon still moves around, so there may be a flutter on Wednesday, and there is an extremely minor augmentation of the general felicity of Scorpios on Friday, but beyond that all is as it was. Sometimes you just can’t rely on the stars for guidance.

Deep Ellum was never cool.

A disproportionate number of “X of Cups reversed” this week. Watch out for spills!

Scorpio: 9 of Cups reversed – Truth, loyalty, liberty, mistakes, imperfections.

Sagittarius: Knight of Cups – Arrival, approach, advances, proposition, demeanor, invitation, incitement. 

Capricorn: 10 of Swords – Overwhelming defeat, pain, affliction, tears, sadness, desolation. 

Aquarius: 6 of Cups – The past and memories, nostalgia.

Pisces: Wheel of Fortune – Destiny, fortune, success, elevation, luck, felicity. 

Aries: The Magician reversed –  Physician, Magus, mental disease, disgrace, disquiet.

Taurus: 7 of Cups reversed – Desire, will, determination, project.

Gemini: 10 of Cups reversed – Repose of the false heart, indignation, violence.

Cancer: Ace of Cups reversed – House of the false heart, mutation, instability, revolution.

Leo: 4 of Wands reversed – Prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.

Virgo: Page of Wands – Dark young man, faithful, a lover, an envoy, a postman, knowledge from family resources.

Libra: 8 of Swords reversed – Disquiet, difficulty, opposition, accident, treachery.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

68 Comments

  1. MikeS

    Pisces: Wheel of Fortune – Destiny, fortune, success, elevation, luck, felicity.

    Hmmm…maybe I should start a write-in campaign for president

    • UnCivilServant

      “Officials have opened an election fraud investion after MikeS recieved three votes for president, far higher than expected.”

      • MikeS

        I was only fortifying!

      • Fourscore

        MikeS was seen buying votes at Honey Harvest with expensive, personalized gifts.

        /Starts a chant, “We want MikeS, we want Mikes, we want mikes” Chant dies out.

      • DEG

        MikeS was seen buying votes at Honey Harvest with expensive, personalized gifts.

        So he should have more than three votes.

  2. Suthenboy

    I dont have a clue who Deep Ellum is. I also dont care.

    • UnCivilServant

      I thought it was just some Holler somewhere.

    • R.J.

      Listen to you.
      He is correct, Deep Ellum was never cool.

  3. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: Knight of Cups – Arrival, approach, advances, proposition, demeanor, invitation, incitement.

    Sounds like a typical week of unrequited lust.

    • The Other Kevin

      I have a few hockey games next weekend. Looks like I’m going to get in a fight and get an extra 2:00 for incitement.

  4. Tundra

    Leo: 4 of Wands reversed – Prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.

    Didn’t see that coming. Still my favorite star sign

  5. Sean

    “Cancer: Ace of Cups reversed – House of the false heart, mutation, instability, revolution.”

    Yep. I’m getting laid. No doubt.

    • Tundra
      • Sean

        😁

  6. Richard

    Greetings from Vermont. I want to comment on the recent media revelations that downtown Burlington is no longer such a nice place to be at night. It’s been said before and it’ll be said again, “You get what you vote for.” Bernie Sanders started his political career as mayor of Burlington from 1981 to 1989 and the city government has just gotten more batshit insane since then. They probably think that a homeless problem is a good thing because it means the city has arrived on the world stage and now has the same problems as cities to which it aspires like San Francisco.

    Next month I have the opportunity to help decide whether to return Bernie Sanders to the U.S. Senate. He’ll win in a landslide which makes it safe for me to vote for his Republican challenger whoever that is. If there was any doubt I’d vote for Bernie, donate to his campaign, and urge my friends to vote for him because the worst possible thing that could happen to Vermont is Bernie coming back. If he lost his Senate seat he’d run for governor, win in a landslide, and then Vermont would so totally screwed it would make Venezuela look like the kind of Socialist Paradise that the socialists dream about.

    Like many states Vermont is a sea of red with a scattering of blue islands that have a controlling portion of population and wealth. The state government’s biggest endeavors, education and health care, are both having significant funding problems and the rest of the country may soon be in for an actual demonstration of what happens when a state runs out of other people’s money. The small and relatively poor population simply cannot afford to pay for the government’s promises to itself. I’m really looking forward to it.

    • Suthenboy

      Well, that road only goes one place. No one has any excuses for not knowing that.

      “Hey dude, dont drop that anvil on your foot.”
      *Dude drops anvil on his foot*
      Dude – “Oh God! Every bone in my foot is crushed! The pain is unbearable! I cant move!”
      Wise Man – “Ya think?”
      Dude – “Please, for the love of God, help me!”
      Wise Man – “No” *kicks pebble, walks away*

    • juris imprudent

      Thanks for the HH gift Richard.

      • Richard

        You’re welcome!

    • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

      I grew up in VT and when I was thinking of places to relocate, it didn’t make the list. NH, our biggest “rival” is in my top 2. I have lots of IRL friends in VT, none in NH, and I’d rather live in NH.

      • Richard

        The rural small towns are still reasonable, by which I mean not crazy stupid progressive, but taxes, both income and property, are very high and some people don’t like the small town environment, social and physical. I’ve got a network of good friends of the sort that together I think we could survive a major upheaval if one should occur. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

      • KK, Plump & Unfiltered

        Even my super lefty friend from Essex Jct (now lives in NoVA) says Btown is a no-go. I asked if her parents would go to Leunig’s for their anniversary as is their custom, and she just laughed.

      • Richard

        For those not in the know, Leunig’s is a famous place on Church Street:

        https://www.leunigsbistro.com/

        Church Street is Burlington’s “rich” street where the tourists are, and thus where the recently newsworthy homeless druggy panhandlers are.

    • DEG

      Thanks for the Honey Harvest gift. It went well in my oatmeal.

      • DEG

        I’ve never had that.

      • DEG

        Though I had a maple wine once. It was good in small doses.

    • rhywun

      simply cannot afford to pay for the government’s promises to itself.

      New York is making a go of it, even as they drive out the middle class and wealthy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      It will be interesting to see how they make it work when it’s just poors.

      • DEG

        It will be interesting to see how they make it work when it’s just poors.

        They’ll call it “bad luck”.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Loophole closed

    We’ve known about his loophole for years, but the gun lobby and extreme right-wing politicians kept it open — until now.

    These sales are now regulated thanks to an underappreciated law and clever executive action by the Biden-Harris administration. The gauzy “engaged in the business” language that created the private sale loophole was replaced with “make a profit” in the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act passed in 2022. That simple change allowed the administration to issue new regulations to require people selling their own guns for a profit to obtain a federal firearms license and perform background checks on all buyers, whether the transaction takes place at a store, gun show or online.

    This has made America safer. The Department of Justice says 20,000 unlicensed sellers now must conduct background checks because of the change. That means fewer criminals can capitalize on gaps in federal law to buy the weapons that terrorize our communities.

    We can’t let Trump turn back the clock!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Next, must report any profit as capital gains. What’s your valuation basis for a pistol you obtained 30 years ago as a trade for another firearm?

      • Fourscore

        “I gave the gun away, recipient was so grateful she gave me a non-taxable tip.”

        Actually I pointed to the spot in the river where the canoe tipped over.

    • Brochettaward

      Student visas at least are people who are hopefully going to be net contributors on average. Not day laborers who come in and leach off the system.

    • Suthenboy

      Define ‘Make a profit’.

    • Rebel Scum

      his loophole

      2A and the state constitution equivalents?

  8. DrOtto

    Regarding illegal alien Musk from the ded thred – who was the president again in the mid-90s that allowed immigrants to overstay their student visa? Also, starting businesses that employ thousands is definitely the worst thing anyone who overstayed a student visa during this period. If you don’t believe me, ask a survivor of United flight 93.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      My anwser is, “Whelp, you got me! I guess that means we have to allow the third world to invade and put them up in five star hotels.”

      • The Other Kevin

        I’m willing to amend the rules to say any immigrant who has started at least one billion dollar business should be granted amnesty.

      • Ted S.

        There are (or have been) small countries that grant residency or even citizenship for investing enough money in the country.

    • The Other Kevin

      Not cooler than eating a cuke playing a uke in a suit.

      • MikeS

        Until you puke.

  9. juris imprudent

    Doesn’t look like a promising week for house Imprudent.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    There are (or have been) small countries that grant residency or even citizenship for investing enough money in the country.

    Back when Hong Kong’s lease was running out, Canada was actively encouraging wealthy Chinese to relocate. I think they still let people with money and special skills go to the head of the line.

  11. DEG

    Prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.

    Not sufficiently shitty.

  12. creech

    Can’t wait to see what next Sunday’s horoscope is predicting!

  13. KK, Plump & Unfiltered

    Glibscruise part deux is in the works for August 2026. Shpip already has his booked. He’s bringing the wife this time, so I’ll be bumped down to steerage 😭

    • Ted S.

      Isn’t that where the hot, sweaty crew members are?

      • Fourscore

        You would have met the senior Fourscores, that’s where my dad and family were bunking. I can’t remember but think it was a 15-17 day trip, my dad said. 120 years ago.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Rights and freedom party

    So, what makes this November different? One thing stands out to me, above the rest—it’s clearer than ever that our basic, fundamental freedoms as Americans are on the line. Our freedom to choose what we do with our bodies. Our freedom to have an economy that works for the middle class, not just the wealthy and well-connected. And our freedom to live our lives without gun violence.

    ——-

    We’ve made a lot of progress in recent years. The Biden-Harris administration has done more for gun safety than any administration in history—helping pass the first major gun reform in 30 years, establishing a whole-of-government approach to the crisis, and ensuring nearly all gun sellers are required to run background checks on purchasers. Now, gun crime is falling in cities across the country. (As a reminder, it skyrocketed during the Trump administration.)

    But once again, we’re at a turning point. We can move forward and save lives with Vice President Kamala Harris and Gov. Tim Walz leading the charge. Or we can dive backward into another Trump presidency, which will derail all the progress we’ve made.

    It looks like a new scary talking point has been issued.

    • rhywun

      I guess “bald-faced lies” are a form of talking point.

    • Sean

      “Let’s keep killing babies, mutilating children, looting the coffers, and housing and feeding terrorists/criminals.”

      CommaLa 2024

    • The Other Kevin

      We’re 9 days from the election, and a lot have already voted. If you’re pulling out talking points now, you’re desperate.

      Many Glibs said Trump just needed to stick to his message. He’s stuck to the border, the economy, and wars the entire campaign.

      • creech

        Except for that all-important discussion about the size of Arnie’s manhood.

    • creech

      “Our freedom to choose what we do with our bodies.”
      Un Huh, nine months for a woman vs. everyone having 1/3 of their labor confiscated for about 45 years during their working life.

  15. Gender Traitor

    FINALLY saw Trump use some Butler rally footage and the “money shot” from that event in an ad. I wonder if there’s a reason they seemed to wait until now to use it.

    • Sean

      We’re in the home stretch now.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Intimidation

    According to two people familiar with his private conversations, Dimon has told fellow Wall Street executives that while he is a backer of Harris, “he has a duty to JPMorgan shareholders to protect the public company from potential political retaliation.”

    Dimon’s not dumb. Openly taking an official political position could be viewed as a breach of fiduciary duty.

    • rhywun

      “Literal billionaires”

      zOMG like literally??

  17. Mojeaux

    Um … Old Man …

    • dbleagle

      I did not see that outcome. I hope OM’s date with the NPR lady will go better.

      On the other hand Mex’s hometown team played hard (even w/ no run defense) a squeaked out a win.

      Lots of NFL weirdness today, be careful Moj.

      • rhywun

        Glad I was never really a Jets fan.

      • Tundra

        Lions look really legit. Packers tried to make the Jags feel better about themselves. Broncos need to get their shit together.

      • Tundra

        Glad I was never really a Jets fan.

        Who is Rodgers gonna get fired this week?

      • Mojeaux

        My sphincter is clenching. I’m not over Christmas (never mind the Kermit foolishness) and my glass is always half full empty anyway because more often than not, they play so SLOPPILY. Last week wasn’t but we have a n00b today, to boot.

  18. Rebel Scum

    The past and memories, nostalgia.

    Sounds like some MAGA nazi shit. //jk

    Btw, Byron and Vivek killed it at MSG. We’ll se how Tulsi does.

    • Rebel Scum

      Gwen Walz says public schools stocking tampons in boys’ bathrooms is about “learning to read and closing gaps”

      Gotta plug those holes in knowledge.